Mission Impossible: What It Means To Be A Spy

What Is A Spy?

A Spy is the most mysterious of occupations. In fact so little is known about the spy because of the necessity that they remain anonymous, unknown to the world. In keeping with is age old tradition, much of the information in this presentation was deemed top secret by multiple governments and organizations around the world. To protect my life, and the lives of you, my audience, I was forced to censor much of the material in this presentation. Hopefully it only adds to the mystery and intrigue behind the occupation of the spy.

The Requirements: School and all that stuff

Schooling:• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]

Previous Work:• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]

Other Qualifications:• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]

Required Education:• [CLASSIFIED]• Spy Training 101• Escaping: A Survivors Course• [CLASSIFIED]• AP Biology

Personality Traits:• Narcissist• [CLASSIFIED]• Cold and Collected•[CLASSIFIED]•[CLASSIFIED]•[CLASSIFIED]• May enjoy anything from long walks in the park to the occasional rappel off a 50 story building.

Science: Why Every Spy Needs It

Why Science?

A spy is the new ninja. He/she must be able to use any and every means available to them in order to accomplish their task. They must have a vast knowledge of [CLASSIFIED] as well as [CLASSIFIED] and [CLASSIFIED]. Biology is a must as life exists just about everywhere a spy does, with only a few exceptions, namely [CLASSIFIED] and [CLASSIFIED]. A spy must understand what plants he can use to accomplish many of his dirty deeds. He must have an intricate knowledge of the human body and all of the organs and weaknesses therein. A spy must also understand the importance of physics and chemistry, both of which aid the spy in accomplishing complete and total [CLASSIFIED]. Needless to say, a spy must have a vast supply of knowledge readily ready for any occasion.

Gadgets: Every Spy’s Best Friend

The Lock Picking Kit:

Essential to any spy’s arsenal, the Lock Picking Kit gives the spy access to almost any location.

The SpyCam Detector PP-SYCAMDETECTOR:

This device allows spies to recognize other spies by detecting the cameras that they might be hiding. This device has saved many a spy’s life.

[CLASSIFIED]:

The [CLASSIFIED] is an advanced [CLASSIFIED] pivotal to any spies espionage. Without the [CLASSIFIED], modern day espionage would not be what it is today. The [CLASSIFIED]’s purpose is [CLASSIFIED].

Location: Where to find your everyday spy

Where do those pesky spies hide?

A spy is the very definition of field work. He has no [CLASSIFIED] or [CLASSIFIED]. He has no ball and chain to hold him down. He has nothing. He may go where he pleases, following whatever assignment that is assigned to him. But while a spy has nothing, he has everything. Whatever materials are needed to fulfill his disguise, he has. A spy has complete access to everything because he took the courses: [CLASSIFIED], [CLASSIFIED], and [CLASSIFIED]. But this tells us nothing about the location of these modern day ninjas. They are everywhere. With complete access to everything, a spy could sneak into any location undetected. A recent study by [CLASSIFIED] also shows that the number of spies in the wild has more than doubled in the last ten years. In fact, there are so many spies, that [CLASSIFIED] in ten people are assumed to be involved with these agents. There could even be a spy right here, in this very room.

Why Spy: So You Want To Be a Spy…

What does it take to be a spy?

A spy has very little career potential. There are no advancement opportunities as spies are typically not trusted and unfit to perform tasks that require them to operate well in a [CLASSIFIED] environment, unless it is directly tied to [CLASSIFIED]. There is nothing beyond a spy; a spy is the very pinnacle of achievement. In fact, spies are paid so much that they don’t need to advance. They are believed to be the highest paid worker in the America and the second most common worker in North Korea. An infamous spy, [CLASSIFIED], who lives out of [CLASSIFIED] and “retired” at the age of 31, was reported to have made between 1.6 billion and 4.3 billion dollars over the course of his career. Of course not all of this was paid by his employers; he undoubtedly collected some along the way.

Tasks Involved: [CLASSIFIED]

What tasks are spied required to complete?

• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• Spy• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]• [CLASSIFIED]

My Take: A Student’s Prospective

Advantages: Spies are obviously amazing. They can do anything, and are paid ridiculous sums of money to do it. Spies also have really cool cars.

Disadvantages: The only disadvantage is that spies are often required to leave their families. That, and the fact that their lives are in constant danger.

What do I have to do now in order to become a spy later? Unfortunately no major government or organization is prepared to release their methods for choosing spies. In addition, any information that I would find would be [CLASSIFIED].

Bibliography: The Sources of Awesomeness

1. Bond, James. What I Learned From Being A Spy. [CLASSIFIED]. New York: [CLASSIFIED], [CLASSIFIED].

2. Pedro. [CLASSIFIED]. Philadelphia: [CLASSIFIED], [CLASSIFIED].3. SpySite.com. 24 May 2010. 25 May 2010

<http://spysite.com/catalog1/index.html?xid=c0b78927d976887cbade9b8f4c7fe8a9>

4. SpyMuseum.org. 25 May 2010. 25 May 2010 <http://www.spymuseum.org/>5. CBC News. “Defectors say China running 1,000 spies in Canada” 15 June 2005. 25

May 2010 <http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2005/06/15/spies050615.html>