1. Classy decanter The perfect complement to your collection of Lalique, Baccarat, and Waterford. Or decanting that bottle of plonk youve been saving for a special occasion.
2. Designer flower vase Blends perfectly with both traditional and modern decors. Guaranteed to make you the envy of all your friends!
3. Second-chance candle snuffer Ever snuff a candle and then regret doing so? This user- friendly device ensures you have almost 20 seconds in which to change your mind!
4. No-skid doorstop Why look for an old brick when you already have this beautiful, machine-crafted objet dart?
5. Scissor-holder desk accessory Tired of always searching for your scissors? This is the ideal way to keep your desktop organized.
6. Cost-effective tuba mute Too much oomph in your om-pa-pa? Tuba mutes are scarce these days, so why search eBay when you can easily bottle up your tooting?
7. Heavy-duty windchime Just the thing during hurricanes and typhoons. And beautiful to look at, too, when winds and gusts are under 70mph! Tunable using either water or cheap tequila.
8. Ergonomic gardening stool Balancing on this stool lets your body find its own center of gravity, reducing lumbar pressure to reduce skeletomuscular pain.
9. Home condom inflater Inflating a condom used to require the services of a skilled professional. Now you can easily do it at home! Just put a little water in the bottle, slip on the condom, boil gently in a pot and voil!
10. Never-fail flyswatter 100% effective when correctly applied.
Dedicated to The Texas Tequila Queens Copyright 2014, Eric L. Reiss. All rights (and lefts) reserved. (but who the hell would want to copy this anyway?)