Communication skills

The Art of Listening

The Art of Communication

Need for Communication

• Very strong in Human beings• Considered as a basic need,

as in the case of eating, sleeping, etc.• Established as both a social &

individual need

Have something to say and say it as clearly as you can, that is the only secret of style.

Matthew Arnold

Understand Audience Memory

Time

Amount of Speech

Remembered

+

+

-

Assertive Communication

4POC: ASC MRT, DSN 793-4847

Assertive Communication (3 Cs)

1. Confident

2. Clear

3. Controlled


Effective communication is 2-way depends on speaking and listening

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked ,"How was the trip?" "It was great, . "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a stream that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our courtyard reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Aggressive Communication

• Must have the last word

• Talking over the other person

• Out of control emotion

• Blaming

• Talking down12POC: ASC MRT, DSN 793-4847

Anyone can become angry. That’s easy. But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time for the right purpose and in the right way is not so easy.

Anyone can become angry. That’s easy. But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time for the right purpose and in the right way is not so easy.

Passive Communication

• Quiet

• No eye contact

• Withdrawn

• Sulking

• Submissive

• Fearful

• Appeasing


Icebergs beneath Passive Communication

• It’s wrong to complain.

• I don’t really care. It doesn’t matter.

• I’ll make enemies if I speak my mind.

• No one ever really changes anyway.

• It’s more important that people like me, than to be right.

• I don’t like conflict.


We spend between 50 and 80 percent of our waking life communicatingOn average, half of that communication time is spent in listening.

We spend between 50 and 80 percent of our waking life communicatingOn average, half of that communication time is spent in listening.

Listening - a neglected art

Most individuals are inefficient listenersInefficient and ineffective listening is extraordinarily costly



Learned Used Taught

Listening 1st Most (45%) Least

Speaking 2nd Next most (35%)

Next least

Reading 3rd Next least (16%)

Next most

Writing 4th Least (9%) Most

Spoken words only account for 30

-35% of the meaning. The rest is

transmitted through nonverbal

communication that only can be

detected through visual and auditory

listening

The average person talks at a rate of

about 125 – 175 words per minute,

while we can listen at a rate of up to

450 words per minute

Physicians interrupt 69% of patient

interviews within 18 seconds of the

patient beginning to speak. As a

result, in 77% of the interviews, the

patient’s true reason for visiting was

never elicited .

Listening creates acceptance and openness

…conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”

When you've learned how to Listen, well that's when you've learned everything you need to know in your life!"

Bad Listener

• Pretending to pay attention when you are not

• Trying to do other things while listening

• Deciding the subject is uninteresting

• Getting unfocused by the speaker’s way of speech, or other mannerisms

• Getting over-involved and thus losing the main thread

• Letting emotion-filled words arouse personal anger and enmity

• Concentrating on any distractions instead of what is being said

• Avoiding anything that is complex or difficult

Bad Listener

We are blessed with two ears and one mouth - a constant reminder that we should listen at least twice as much as we talk.

Before I can walk in another person’s shoes,

I must remove my own.

• You have over 630 muscles in your body. • It takes the interaction of 72 different muscles to

produce human speech.

• The strongest muscle in your body is your tongue.– use it effectively

• You have over 30 muscles in your face to help you smile or frown.– 17 muscles to smile– So... smile everytime you see someone – it’s easier!

Finally... some body Facts

"Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.“

Thanks

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Engineering

Communication skills