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Counselling Skills for

Youths-At-Risk

Trainer: Mr Glenn Lim

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Definitions / Descriptions of YAR

Singapore classification model of ‘youth needs’(National Youth Mentoring, NYC, 2008)

LOW-level needs

MID-level needs

HIGH-level needs(3) 2 + Advocacy

(2) 1 + Trusting Relationship & Community Resources

(1) Care, Commitment, Skills, Knowledge

Mentee needs

Mentor characteristics/requirements3

YOUTH WITH MID-LEVEL NEEDSYOUTH WITH MID-LEVEL NEEDS

Youths with mid-level needs may include those who are out-of-school or facing difficult life

circumstances (eg: single-parent or incarcerated families). In addition, may include youths with

learning disabilities, prone to substance abuse, self-harm, depression, other mental and eating disorders, truancy, bullying, violence and other

delinquent behaviours.

(National Youth Council, 2010)

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What makes them ‘At-Risk’?What are some skills that YARs

lack?

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4 Developmental Arenas in Youth

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Social-Emotional Competencies

SECMatrix

Self A___________

Self M___________

S________ Awareness

R____________ Management

Responsible D__________ M_________

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Youth who slip through the cracks of an E____________ S__________ due to a sense of deprivation of acceptance or

belonging (‘social citizenship’), precipitating manifestation of negative behaviours.

(G.Lim, 2006)

Disenfranchised Youth

Operational Domains in the World of a Youth

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G.Lim, 2006 Adapted from The Hemingway’ Theory of Adolescent Connectedness

Primary Domains of a Youth’s World

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Youth

“Cycle of Failure”

Generally youth can only accept failure so many times before they give up and start recreating their own ‘successes’ in a distorted and deviant manner…(G.Lim, 2006)

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Psycho-Mechanics of ‘FAILURE’

• Each domain has a set of expectations on the youth, who is seen as a ‘Failure’ when he cannot meet them.

• Failure in one domain means an increased reliance on the other domains to make up the difference.

• Failure leads to creating new Expectations for himself as a means of feeling successful or significant (‘Compensated Success’).

• Compensated Success is manifested in the forms of different expressions (Negative Behaviours) –

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“Cycle of Failure”

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If we don’t intentionally ‘Replace’ a n____________ t________ (action, behaviour, habit,

lifestyle etc) with a positive one, chances are the vacuum created when trait is ‘Removed’ will be subsequently filled up with another undesirable

trait that the youth is accustomed to

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“Remove & Replace”

A substitute domain serves to ‘s________’ as a nurturing ‘surrogate’ for youth to develop

psychological, emotional and social competencies.

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“Surrogation”

A “Wake Up Call” is a significant defining moment in their lives, often in the form of a c________, where their p______________

and v_______ begin to change, as they wake up to the really important matters in life

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“Wake-Up Call”

Neuro-Development of Youth

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The ‘Triune Brain’

L_______ S________

B________ S______

C___________ C_________

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Brain Stem““Centre of Centre of

Instinctive Behaviour”Instinctive Behaviour”

• Breathing, Sweating, Blood Pressure, Arousal, Sleeping…

• Automatic Nervous System, Reflexes

• Fight or Flight responses

• Reactive & Impulsive

• Relay Station for incoming signals

• Hormone release & control centre

• Memory encoding & assignment centre

Limbic System““Centre of Emotions”Centre of Emotions”

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Frontal Lobes““Centre of Centre of

Executive Function”Executive Function”

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• Impulse Control

• Considering Consequences

• Decision Making

• Foresight & Planning Ahead

• Hindsight & Reflective thinking

The LIMBIC SYSTEM is fully operational during puberty at

_________ years old

The FRONTAL LOBES begin to develop during puberty, but only fully matures at age…

__________ years old

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1) Relating to youths is more f_________-based than logic-based.

2) Youths become v______________ to influences when their emotional doors are open.

3) Youths learn better when they can make

an e_____________ connection to the lesson.

4) Positive emotions create o__________ conditions for learning / change.

5) Youths need ‘T______- O_____’ to cool down, and process their emotions. 23

Implications:

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TRIGGER

How youths process signals with their brains

EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING

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EL is education that occurs as a direct p___________ in the e_______ of life. The

learning is achieved through reflection upon the experiences.

(Houle, 1980)

Experiential Learning

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Participant or Observer of:• Activity• Class lesson• Conversation• Project (CIP, SL etc)• Outing• Games, Movies etc

Review or Discussion of:• What I Saw• What I Heard• What I Felt• What I ThoughtExtract learning

points, lessons & principles from what I reflected…

Apply my new learning into another situation or experience…

Experiential Learning Cycle

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“WHAT?” Learning Model

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“3-2-1” Learning Model

What are _______

I saw, heard,

experienced, observed?

What are _______ I learnt from what I

reflected?

What is _____

I will apply fro

m

today onwards?

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• Having the experience is not the main focus... R__________ on the experience is.

• Be engaged in the activities with your group members to create ‘S_______ Experience’ to reflect together upon.

• Keen O__________ is critical in leveraging on learning moments.

Experiential Learning Principles

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Faulty Processing

Faulty learning occurs when we short-circuit the reflection process and make assumptions based purely on what we experienced

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The YAR Worker32

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Essential Skills of YAR Workers…

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Factors of Influence / Change

E___________Therapeutic and positive relationship with client

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E___________Counsellor’s techniques & strategies

E_____________Client’s expectations of counsellor / Placebo effect

E_________ F_________

Client’s resources & support system from

family, friends etc

(M. Lambert, 1992)

“If I can provide a certain type of relationship, the client (or youth) will

discover within himself the capacity to use that relationship for g________

and c __ , and personal development will occur”

(Carl Rogers, 1961)

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C_________

I__________

Authority Matrix

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A__________

Working with YARs

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A question to ask ourselves:

“What or Who is informing our work?”

Working with YARs

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Theories Approaches Techniques

POSITIVE YOUTH DEVELOPMENT

(PYD)39

Traditional Youth Services

Positive Youth Development

Focus on problems Focus on positive outcomes

Deficit-based Strengths-based

Reactive Pro-active

Targeted Youth All Youth involvement

Youth as recipients Youth as active participants

Programs Community response

Professional providers Community members40

Positive Youth Development

Some useful attitudes toward YAR-work

• Instead of viewing them as P_______ Y______, let’s view them as Y______ with P_________.

• Instead of changing the S________, let’s change the S_________.

• Instead of trying hard to m_________ them, let’s find out w_____ motivates them.

• Instead of trying to P_______ youth problems, let’s P________ youth development.

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The 5 ‘C’s of PYD

PYD5Cs

C_________C________

C________

C_____ / C_________

C_________C__________

“Many Helping Hands”• Peers• School• Family• _______________• _______________• _______________• _______________

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Positive Youth Development

A__________

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D__________P_________

PYD Strategies

• Leadership appointments • Certificate of completion• Talent showcase

• Life skills• Leadership skills• Roles & responsibilities• Mentoring

• Counselling• ‘Contracting’• Discipline• Learning journeys

“Strengths-Based”

Approach

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what we focus on

Glenn Lim Consultancy 2007 46

BIGGERbecomes

How do we search for strengths?

“Strengthsare often found in…

W__________”

POSITIVE REFRAMING

A technique of viewing things you cannot change in a positive light

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PROBLEMS STRENGTHSYouth runs away from home

Youth is ‘street-smart’; has survival skills

Youth indulges in dangerous activities like skateboarding

Youth spends too much time, money on ‘weird’ fashion

Youth is defiant & rebellious

Youth is into gangs

“CONTEXTUAL Reframing”

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PROBLEMS SOLUTIONS

Physics is my weakest subject, I hate it…

This is an opportunity for growth for me! I should take it as a personal challenge and put in more effort to overcome this!

I tried so hard and still failed my test…I want to give up!

My teacher scolded me again, and my parents nag me to study all the time!

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“CONTENT Reframing”

How do we listen for ‘strengths’?

EAR

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Working with the YAR

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Invisible Suitcases

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1) C___________________

2) C___________________

3) C___________________

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Unpacking their ‘Stories’

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Narrative Theories

“The Power of Stories”

Principles of NT• All stories have predictable endings based on their

themes (adventure, tragedy, comedy, romance etc).• There is a ‘Success Story’ in every youth.• Help youth think about ‘Re-scripting’ their stories by

envisioning new and different subsequent ‘Chapters’.• Youth need to be empowered to be ‘Authors’ of their own

destinies.• Youth are not readily inspired by laws, rules and

authoritarian-style information (Meta-Narratives).• Youth become inspired to ‘rewrite’ their own stories

when they ‘read’ other stories (Local-Narratives) of success and victory.

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• Stories (Personal, Fictitious, Real, Fable, Folklore etc)

• Jokes / Anecdotes• Metaphors / Imagery• Parables / Idioms / Symbols• Movie, Music Reviews• Character Studies• Role Plays• Interactive Drawing, Theatre etc

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Usages of NT

• Create o________ by engaging their participation

• Stimulate l_________ by getting them to research on subject; homework etc

• Instill sense of a__________ by positioning it as a project, mission, learning journey etc

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Exposing without Imposing

DESIRED OUTCOMES of Youth Programs

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EVENT vs PROCESSExamples of Youth -Helping

Events:Examples of “Processes”:

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Youth Work is a Process, not just an Event…

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……a a JourneyJourney

Growth and change takes place in a

PROCESSPROCESS

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Youth Developmental Domains

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COACHINGCOACHING

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“I ____, you _______”• Intentional observation by mentee• Review & reflection by mentee

“We ____ it __________”• Intentional modeling in real-time• Mistakes & pauses are allowed to explain processes

“You ___, I _______”• Mentor now observes mentee at work• Mentor provides feedback & affirmation

The “COACHING” Model

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Social-Emotional Competencies

SECMatrix

Self Awareness

Self Management

Social Awareness

Relationship Management

Responsible Decision Making

SELF AWARENESS

Awareness & understanding of one’s own:• Habits / Personality / Character• Experiences / Feelings / Thoughts / Behaviours• Strengths / Weaknesses• Desires / Interests / Passions

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EE____________________

AA________________TT____________________

E.A.TE.A.T..

Event

SELF AWARENESS

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Emotions Actions Thoughts

SELF AWARENESSEvent:Client is late for appointment again, called to say he will not come...

• I feel disappointed that he played me out again.• I actually feel angry (deeper).• I feel he doesn’t respect me.

• I am impatient & fidgety, and keep shaking my feet.• My teeth are clenched.• I’m going to tell him how irresponsible he is.

• What a waste of time!• I think he did this on purpose.• I think he doesn’t like me.• I think he finds me boring.

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SELF AWARENESS

Emotions Actions Thoughts

Event:Mentee made a remark after session today to say that she really appreciates & looks up to me, & wish that her parents were like me…

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Johari Window(Joseph Luft & Harry Ingham, 1955)

Known to Self Unknown to Self

Known to Others

Unknown to Others

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Johari Window(Joseph Luft & Harry Ingham, 1955)

Known to Self Unknown to Self

Known to Others

Unknown to Others

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S –

T –

O –

P –

SELF MANAGEMENT

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Restorative Restorative ApproachApproach

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What is Restorative Practice?

“Restorative justice is a process whereby all the parties with a stake

in a particular offence come together to resolve c__________

how to deal with the a_________ of the offence and its i__________ for

the future”

(Tony Marshall, 2002)

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P________P________

Punitive-Permissive Continuum

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Results of employing solely traditional PPC:

1)Loss of R__________2)Loss of R__________3)Alienation from C__________4)Inability to hold students A_____________

Punitive-Permissive Continuum

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Social Discipline Window

CON

TRO

L (Li

mit-

Setti

ng; D

isci

plin

e)

SUPPORT (Nurture; Encouragement)LOWLOW HIGHHIGH

HIGHHIGH

Principles of RP

1. Increase Awareness2. Avoid Scolding or Lecturing3. Involve students Actively / Directly4. Accept Ambiguity5. Separate Deed from Doer6. View every wrongdoing as opportunity for

learning

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Key Values of RP

• Impartial and Non-judgemental • Respect and Relationships• Accountability and Responsibility• Inclusion and Collaboration• Solutions and Restoration• Empowerment and Commitment

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“Conferencing”4 Key Questions:

1. What has h__________? (the wrongdoing)

2. Who is a___________? And how?

3. How can we involve everyone who has been affected r__________& find a way forward?

4. How can everyone do things d_____________ in the future?

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MOTIVATIONMOTIVATION82

Motivational InterviewingMotivational Interviewing

• A therapeutic approach based on the concepts of Ambivalence (conflict between indulgence & restraint)

• Targets client’s intrinsic motivation to resolve ambivalence & internal conflicts

• Helping clients build commitment & reach decision to change

• Lays a motivational foundation for other therapeutic approaches

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Motivational Interviewing

1) Express E_____________2) Avoid A_______________3) Roll with R_____________4) Develop D______________5) Support S_______________

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5 Principles of MI (Miller and Rollnick, 1992)

Motivational Interviewing

1) Creating a safe environment unconditional positive regard & empathy

2) Active listening3) Giving clear & concrete feedback about youth’s

behaviour, motives & personal situation4) Providing choice alternatives5) Initiating & staying in contact with youth

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5 Key MI Techniques

“Stages of Change” Modelby Prochaska & DiClemente (1983)

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STAGE OF CHANGE CHARACTERISTICS TECHNIQUES

1) PRECONTEMPLATION Not considering change“Ignorance is bliss”

Encourage exploration of options while evaluating current behaviours.

2) CONTEMPLATION Ambivalent “Sitting on the fence”

Encourage pros/cons Identify, promote positive outcome expectations

3) PREPARATION Trying to change; experimenting“Testing the waters”

Identify social support and intrinsic resources.Encourage small initial steps

4) ACTION Practicing new behaviour“Forming new habits”

Focus on restructuring cuesEncourage self-efficacy Reiterate long-term benefits

5) MAINTENANCE Continued commitment“Sustaining new behaviour”

Reinforce internal rewards.Discuss relapse

6) RELASPE Resumption of old behaviour“Fall from grace”

Evaluate triggers for relapse.Plan stronger coping strategies.

“Stages of Change” Model

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NOTE: Relapse is not the end!

A recovering client who relapses rarely returns back to the ‘Point of No Return’. In fact, the

relapse helps him evaluate his strategies, goals, motivation and commitment to change. Most clients grow stronger and more resolved

after their relapse.

*On average, about 70% of recovering clients (gambling & substance abuse addicts) will experience 3 to 4 relapses in his journey. 88

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SELF CARE

SELF CARE4 impairments to look out for when working in the ‘helping’ field:

1) D__________ – exhaustion, fatigue, burn-out

2) D__________ – too many life event or crises, tasks, roles all taking place at once

3) D_____________ – due to personal failure or setbacks

4) D_____________ – loss of vision, purpose etc

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1) A________ TO S_________ – Personal therapy; Personal development & growth; Personal & group supervision; Balanced lifestyle includes healthy relationships with family & friends.

2) A______________ S___________ – System & routine of reporting; Personal openness to leadership, colleagues & spouse;

3) A___________–Transference & Counter-transference issues; Blind Spots; Reflections (Journaling) help increase self-awareness.

SELF CARE

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BOUNDARIES

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