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You should understand and break the cycle of domestic violence. There are generally 3 stages to the domestic violence cycle. Tension building, violence, and lastly, seduction. The three dynamics that typically keep the cycle in motion are love, fear, and hope. If you are aware of the cycle and the dynamics of the cycle, it is pertinent to break away from the cycle to avoid future abuse. Always document the abuse and contact law enforcement, do not wait for the abuse to become too much to handle.
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© James Publishing
Lawyer John DoeDoe Law Offices
UNDERSTANDINGAND BREAKING THE
CYCLE OFDOMESTIC VIOLENCE
The Cycle of Domestic Violence shows how domestic violence often becomes a pattern made up of of three stages: tension building, violence, and seduction.
3 STAGES OF THE DOMESTICVIOLENCE CYCLE
TENSION BUILDING
VIOLENCESEDUCTION
Criticism,
yelling,
swearing,
angry gestures,
coercion,
and threats
arare typical during this stage.
TENSION BUILDING
TENSION BUILDING
Physical and sexual attacks
and threats
occur during this stage.
VIOLENCE
VIOLENCE
Apologies,
blaming,
promises to change,
and gifts
characterize this stage.
SEDUCTION
SEDUCTION
Three dynamics: love, hope, and fear keep the cycle in motion and make it hard to end a violent relationship.
3 DYNAMICS THAT KEEP THECYCLE IN MOTION
LOVE
HOPEFEAR
You still feel love for your partner. The relationship has its good points; it is not all bad.
LOVE
LOVE
You continue to hope that things will change. The relationship didn’t begin this way; it is not like this all the time.
HOPE
HOPE
Although you fear that the threats will become a reality, you fear more a future alone, and that you won’t be able to make it financially by yourself.
FEAR
FEAR
Separating from an abusive spouse can be the most dangerous time in the relationship because violence often increases dramatically when a victim leaves the abuser. Get help from a knowledgeable divorce lawyer and/or domestic violence counselor to protect your safety.
BREAKING THE CYCLE
Pictures of your injuries should be taken immediately. Tell your lawyer if you have any photographs, videos or other evidenceevidence, such as answer machine recordings, or witnesses who can help prove the violence in court.
DOCUMENT THE ABUSE
The police should be contacted if they have not already been contacted; they may also take photographs.
CONTACT LAWENFORCEMENT
Your lawyer can refer you to the local domestic violence center so that a victim advocate can be assigned to help you. The advocate can refer you to initial safe havens, and arrange for counseling and group therapy fofor you and your children.
GET HELP FROM A DOMESTICVIOLENCE CENTER
Your lawyer and/or advocate can help you prepare an escape plan with confidential locations where you can temporarily go into hiding. You do not want to go to places where your spouse will search, such as the homes of friends and relatives. You will also need advice on the best ways to get cash to finance your escape. Use of a credit card or check may allow your spouse to locate you.
DEVELOP A PLAN FORSEPARATION
Your lawyer will seek an injunction against your spouse. The injunction should not allow your spouse to have contact with you under any circumstancecircumstances and it should be permanent. Do not agree to any exceptions. Exceptions are extremely dangerous. Get counseling to help you stanstand firm, escape the cycle, and save your life.
SEEK ANINJUNCTION
