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Prepared By Manu Melwin Joy
Assistant ProfessorIlahia School of Management Studies
Kerala, India.Phone – 9744551114
Mail – [email protected]
Kindly restrict the use of slides for personal purpose. Please seek permission to reproduce the same in public forms and presentations.
Verbal and Non verbal Strokes
• You are walking along the street. You catch sight of a neighbor of yours coming in the other direction.
• As you and the neighbor pass, you smile and say: “Nice day!”.
• Your neighbor smiles back and replies: “ Yes, it is”.
Verbal and Non verbal Strokes
• You and your neighbor
exchanged both verbal and
non verbal strokes.
• You spoke to each other and
you smiled.
Verbal and Non verbal Strokes
• You could have traded
many other verbal
strokes, ranging all the
way from “Hello”, to a
full scale conversation.
Verbal and Non verbal Strokes
• Different non verbal
strokes might have
been to wave, nod,
shake hands or hug
each other.
Verbal and Non verbal Strokes
• Any transaction is
exchange of strokes.
• Most transactions
involves verbal and non
verbal strokes.
Verbal and Non verbal Strokes
• They may be wholly non
verbal.
• It is difficult to imagine a
transaction which is purely
verbal and has no nonverbal
content, expect perhaps a
telephone conversation.
Positive strokes
• A positive stroke is one
which the receiver
experiences as pleasant.
• In the example, you and
your neighbor
exchanged positive
strokes, both verbal and
non – verbal.
Negative strokes
• A negative stroke is one experienced as painful.
• If your neighbor had responded to your greetings by frowning at you instead of smiling, he would have given you a negative non – verbal stroke.
Negative strokes
• He could have given you a more intense non verbal by punching your in the eye.
• To deal you a negative verbal stroke, he might have responded to you cheerful “ Nice day” with “huh” or even “ it was until you come along”.
Internal strokes
• Internal strokes
include fantasies,
self praise, and
other forms of self
stimulation.
Conditional strokes
• A conditional stroke
relates to what you do.
– Positive conditional – “
That was a good piece of
work you did.”
– Negative conditional – “ I
don’t like your socks”.
Unconditional Strokes
• An unconditional stroke relates to what you are. – Positive unconditional
– “ You are lovely to have around”.
– Negative unconditional – “ I hate you”.
No strokes
• You might imagine that
people would always
seek positive strokes and
avoid negative strokes.
No strokes
• But in reality, we work by
a different principle : Any
kind of stroke is better
than no stroke at all.
No strokes
• In one, two sets of baby
rats were kept in
identical featureless
boxes. One group was
given electric shocks
several times in a day.
No strokes
• The other group were
not. It was found that
group receiving the
shocks developed
better than those left
without stimulation,
painful as it was.
No strokes
• We are like those rats.
To satisfy our stimulus
hunger, we can use
negative strokes just as
readily as positive
strokes.