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Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
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Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Transactions and Relationships
Eric Vanderburg
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Transaction Analysis
Transaction Analysis - The unconscious tactics used in communication
Transaction - a verbal exchange between people
Unconscious mind - place where forgotten memories, feelings, & ideas are stored.
Stimulus Response - Stimuli results in automatic responses based on remembered experiences
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Ego States
Child Parent Adult
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Child Ego State
Learned through experience Natural Child - imaginative, friendly,
open, innocent, & appreciative Adapted Child - realizes that you
don’t always get what you want (realist)
“Little Professor” - intuitive, creative, & manipulative
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Parent Ego State
Learned by observation & experience Prompts automatic responses without
consulting the adult state “because I said so” Behaviors & sayings learned from the parent
are passed down again when taking on this role
Critical Parent - points out mistakes or misbehavior
Sympathetic Parent - nurturing, supporting, caring person
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Adult Ego State
Learned by observation & experience Rational, careful thinking without
emotions & assumptions. Factual analysis Self control
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Transaction Types
Complementary Crossed Ulterior
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Complimentary Transactions
An expected response is received Promotes successful communication A-A, P-C, Message is tailored for an ego type &
is successful if tailored correctly
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Crossed Transactions
An unexpected response is received Disrupts communication, must restart Message is tailored for a certain ego
type & actual ego type differs Respond in kind to move to
complimentary
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Ulterior Transactions
Transaction takes place at two levels simultaneously
Hidden meanings 3rd Move Transaction - correcting
move to change to complimentary
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Changing State
Adult Ego State Ask a question Make a factual unemotional statement Ask for opinions
Sympathetic Parent State Ask for help Voice fears Request advice
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Changing State
Natural Child Joke & have fun Be sympathetic parent Be enthusiastic and excited Be creative
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Ego States
No state is best Adult state usually works best at a job Balance in everything
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Scripts
Conversation lines originating from the media, friends, & parents
Cultural scripts Family scripts Religious scripts Gender scripts
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Script Categories
Commands - verbal or nonverbal negative instructions
Countercommands - commands that contradict each other
Permission Mythical Hero - media, stories
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Life Position
Your conclusion about yourself and others1. I’m not OK, You’re OK, feel inferior2. I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK, too many
punishments can lead to this. General negative view of life
3. I’m OK, You’re Not OK, may arise out of abuse. Dominating, always right persona
4. I’m OK, You’re OK, happy, usually consciously chosen
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Stroking
Stroking - recognizing the accomplishments of others
Must be in balance Too little = depression Too much = feel manipulated or bothered
Needed strokes dependent on past
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Games
Series of ulterior transactions with a predictable outcome.
There is one ulterior transaction per game
One person gets something out of it Wastes time and hurts relationships
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Game Types
Blemish - finds faults in others to boost own ego
Wooden Leg - excuses are used to diminish or redirect blame
Harried - States or acts too busy to avoid social situations
Now I’ve Got You - traps another person in a mistake or lie
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Stopping Games
Build your self esteem Stay in the adult ego state
Ask “how” instead of “why” questions Bring the other person to adult ego Focus on the positives (games focus
on the negatives) Look at positive points in others and
use stroking
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
Assertiveness
Standing up for yourself or others without damaging another
Not passive or aggressive Know the ego state of others