Most people want to avoid conflict and potentially stressful situations – this is human nature.   People often find it easier to avoid communicating something that they think is going to be controversial or bad, putting off the communication and letting the situation fester. 

TIPSin communicating

in difficult

SITUATIONS

There are two distinct types of difficult conversation:

PlannedUnplanned

Planned Planned conversations occur when the subject has

been given thought, they are planned as the time, place and other circumstances have been arranged or are chosen for a reason. 

Planned difficult conversations could include asking an employer for a pay-rise or perhaps telling your parents that you are leaving home to live somewhere else.

Although these situations are, by their nature, difficult they are controlled and as long as time has been taken to prepare and think properly about how others may react they can often end up being easier than imagined.

Tips in communicating in difficult situations.

Unplanned Unplanned difficult conversations take place on

the spur of the moment; these are often fuelled by anger which can, in extreme cases, lead to aggression.

Often, after an unplanned difficult conversation we feel a surge of emotion – regret or shame if things didn't go too well or potentially a boost to self-esteem and confidence if they did.

After such encounters it is wise to reflect and learn from our experiences trying to find positives and ways of improving future unplanned difficult conversations.

Tips in communicating in difficult situations.

Certain jobs and roles require difficult

communication to be handled professionally,

with empathy, tact, discretion and clarity.

Tips in communicating indifficult

situations.

Politicians Politicians often have to communicate bad news,

for example, failures in their departments, scandals, not meeting targets etc.

As Politicians are in the public eye they may be judged by how well they communicate bad news.

They will worry about their electorate and the repercussions for their self-image, their political party and their country.

Certain jobs and roles require difficult communication to be handled professionally, with empathy, tact, discretion and clarity

Politicians It is not unusual for Politicians to use ‘spin doctors’

and ‘public relation gurus’ who can advise, alleviate personal blame and find positives in potentially bad news.

Another trick sometimes used by politicians is to coincide the release of bad news with some other, unrelated big news story, with the hope that media and public attention will be focused elsewhere.

Certain jobs and roles require difficult communication to be handled professionally, with empathy, tact, discretion and clarity

Health Care Professionals

Doctors and other Health Care Professionals may need to communicate bad or unexpected news to patients and relations of patients, for example, diagnosis and prognosis.  Such professionals will have received training and will have worked in practise scenarios to help them to deliver such news effectively and sensitively.

Certain jobs and roles require difficult communication to be handled professionally, with empathy, tact, discretion and clarity

Police and Law Enforcement

Police and other Law Enforcement Officers may need to communicate bad news to victims of crime or their family and friends.  Such professionals will have received at least basic training in delivering bad news.

Certain jobs and roles require difficult communication to be handled professionally, with empathy, tact, discretion and clarity

Managers Managers in organisations may need to

communicate difficult information on several levels, to staff who are under-performing or if redundancies are necessary.  Managers may also need to report bad news upwards to directors or board members, perhaps profits are down or some arm of the organisation is failing.

Certain jobs and roles require difficult communication to be handled professionally, with empathy, tact, discretion and clarity

Emotion and Change

Emotion

People tend to look at emotions as being positive or negative. Happiness is positive and therefore sadness must be negative, calmness is positive whereas stress and anxiety are negative.

Emotions are natural response to situations that we find ourselves in, and the only time that we need to be concerned is when we consistently feel emotions inappropriate to our current situation.

Emotions are not positive or negative but appropriate or inappropriate. 

There are two main factors that make communication seem difficult: emotion and change.

Emotion and Change

 

When faced with unexpected news we may find ourselves becoming upset, frustrated, angry – or perhaps very happy and excited.  It is helpful to recognise how we react to things emotionally and to think of different ways in which emotions can be controlled if necessary.  Similarly, if we need to communicate information which may have an emotional effect on another person, it is helpful to anticipate what that effect might be and to tailor what we say or write accordingly.

There are two main factors that make communication seem difficult: emotion and change.

Emotion and Change

Change

Often difficult conversations are about some sort of change, for example, changes in your job or ways of doing things, changes in finances or health, changes in a relationship. It is important to remember that change is inevitable. 

There are two main factors that make communication seem difficult: emotion and change.

Emotion and Change

Different people handle change in different ways, some respond very positively to a change in circumstances whereas others may only be able to see problems and difficulty at first.

If possible it is beneficial to think about the positive side of the change and the potential opportunities that it may bring.

It is better for an individual’s well-being if they are able to embrace change as positively as possible, thus helping to minimise stress and anxiety.

There are two main factors that make communication seem difficult: emotion and change.

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

There has to be a balance between communicating something difficult and being as sensitive as possible to those concerned.  The skill set required to do this may seem somewhat contradictory as you may need to be both firm and gentle in your approach. 

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Recommended skills include:

Information GatheringMake sure you have your facts straight

before you begin, know what you are going to say and why you are going to say it.  Try to anticipate any questions or concerns others may have and think carefully about how you will answer questions.

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Being AssertiveOnce you are sure that something

needs to be communicated then do so in an assertive way. Do not find yourself backing down or changing your mind mid-conversation, unless of course there is very good reason to do so.

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Being EmpathicPut yourself in the other person’s

shoes and think about how they will feel about what you are telling them; how would you feel if the roles were reversed?  Give others time to ask questions and make comments.

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Being EmpathicPut yourself in the other person’s

shoes and think about how they will feel about what you are telling them; how would you feel if the roles were reversed?  Give others time to ask questions and make comments.

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Being Prepared to NegotiateOften a difficult situation requires a

certain amount of negotiation, be prepared for this.  When negotiating, aim for a Win - Win outcome – that is, some way in which all parties can benefit.

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Using Appropriate Verbal and Non-Verbal LanguageSpeak clearly avoiding any jargon that

other parties may not understand, give eye contact and try to sit or stand in a relaxed way.  Do not use confrontational language or body language

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Using Appropriate Verbal and Non-Verbal LanguageSpeak clearly avoiding any jargon that

other parties may not understand, give eye contact and try to sit or stand in a relaxed way.  Do not use confrontational language or body language

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Staying Calm and FocusedCommunication becomes easier when we

are calm, take some deep breaths and try to maintain an air of calmness, others are more likely to remain calm if you do. Keep focused on what you want to say, don’t deviate or get distracted from the reason that you are communicating.

Confidence is not something that can be learned like a set of rules; confidence is a state of mind. Positive thinking, practice, training, knowledge and talking to other people are all useful ways to help improve or boost your confidence levels.

Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and experience.

SelfConfidence

Self Confidence Confidence and self-esteem are not the same

thing, although they are often linked.

Confidence is the term we use to describe how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look, the way we think - whether or not we feel worthy or valued.

People with low self-esteem often also suffer from generally low confidence, but people with good self-esteem can also have low confidence. It is also perfectly possible for people with low self-esteem to be very confident in some areas..

Building Confidence

Self Confidence

Performing a role or completing a task confidently is not about not making mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable, especially when doing something new. Confidence includes knowing what to do when mistakes come to light and therefore is also about problem solving and decision making. 

Find more at: http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/confidence.html#ixzz2qF4LREbS

Building Confidence

Self Confidence

Planning and PreparationPeople often feel less confident about

new or potentially difficult situations. Perhaps the most important factor in developing confidence is planning and preparing for the unknown.

Ways to Improve Confidence

Self Confidence

Learning, Knowledge and TrainingLearning and research can help us to

feel more confident about our ability to handle situations, roles and tasks.

Ways to Improve Confidence

Self Confidence

Positive ThoughtPositive thought can be a very

powerful way of improving confidence.

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence”. –Hellen Keller

Ways to Improve Confidence

Self Confidence

Try to recondition the way you think about your life:Know your strengths and weaknesses.We all make mistakes. Don't think of your mistakes

as negatives but rather as learning opportunities.Accept compliments and compliment yourself.Use criticism as a learning experience.Try to stay generally cheerful and have a positive

outlook on life.

Ways to Improve Confidence

Self Confidence

Talking to Others and Following Their LeadGenerally people are attracted to confident

people - confidence is one of the main characteristics of charisma.

“Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.” –Vince Lombardi

Ways to Improve Confidence

Self Confidence

ExperienceAs we successfully complete tasks and

goals, our confidence that we can complete the same and similar tasks again increases.

Ways to Improve Confidence

Self Confidence

Be AssertiveBeing assertive means standing up for what

you believe in and sticking to your principles.

Ways to Improve Confidence

Self Confidence

Avoid ArroganceArrogance is detrimental to interpersonal

relationships.

Ways to Improve Confidence