TMI

TEN MINUTES OF

INFORMATI

ONREDUCE B

ULLYIN

G

Copyrights reserved 2014

THE BULLIED AND THE BULLY

HAVE A LOT IN COMMON

BULLY FULL OF FEAR FEELS GRIEF FEELS ANGER OFFENSE IS

THE BEST DEFENSE

BULLIED FULL OF FEAR FEELS GRIEF FEELS ANGER BEST DEFENSE

IS NO OFFENSE

ROLES OF THE PLAYERS

THE BULLY AND THE BULLIEDEXPERIENCE

SIMILAR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS…

THEIR ACTIONS ARE DIFFERENT

The bully has learned to act

on the environment.

The bullied has learned

to not act or reactto the environment.

WHAT TO DO? F O R T H E B U L L Y

Provide Assertiveness Practice

F O R T H E B U L L I E D

Provide Assertiveness Practice

ASSERTIVEN

ESSAssertiveness

is self-

advocacy…

…that does not detract

from the rights of others.

BULLYING

Bullying is self-advocacy at the expense of others...

…and initiates a negative flow of energy in the environment.

Students, teachers, principals, librarians, secretaries, recess

supervisors,Lunch servers, parents…

:

All encourage bullying when they

o Teaseo Laugh at mistakeso Laugh at accidentso Allow cliqueso Play favoriteso Excludeo Or pretend to bully

Or if they allow anyone to: o Teaseo Laugh at mistakeso Laugh at accidentso Allow cliqueso Play favoriteso Excludeo Or pretend to bully

Classroom factors that stifle or intimidate the rights of others

is bullying.

CLASSROOM PRACTICES ENCOURAGE BULLIESo Body languageo Facial expressionso Eye-contact or lack of o Voice: tone, speed, volumeo Inequitable distribution of resources: time,

materials, spaceo Inequitable distribution of praise,

encouragement, affirmationo Classroom physical arrangementso Classroom grouping

CHARACTER

DEVELOPM

ENT

Bully behaviors do not have to be bullied out of the student.

ASSERTIVEN

ESS

Instead, encourage characterdevelopment.

Here’s how:

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN THE CLASSROOM

1. Allow students to verbalize their experiences.

This could be done orally, written, in dyads, or in group…

as long as each student gets an opportunity to be heard.

The effective teacher insists that even the shy, timid child,

especially the shy, timid child, practices verbalizing or writing or

drawing about his/her experiences.

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN THE CLASSROOM

2. Explicitly generate names for different

human emotions and actions.

Generate rich vocabulary in English Language Development, creative writing, expository writing, free expression journals, and during almost all classroom dialogue.

Interpret and name the emotional language that comes from classroom

dialogue, literature, history, and editing each others’ papers.

Develop expressive vocabulary via: Poetry, art, crafts, skits, plays,

show-and-tell, posters, displays, handouts, word lists…

and, and…

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN THE CLASSROOM

3. Provide decision-making opportunities

and strategies.

Allow students make decisions and they learn to live with consequences,

to establish a values system, to recognize own beliefs, to feel empowered, to add pleasure or preference to learning, to differentiate for themselves…and, and…

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN THE CLASSROOM

4. Becoming assertive takes practice.

Insecurities become awkward Awkward becomes uncomfortable

Uncomfortable becomes familiar

Familiar becomes doable

Doable becomes acceptable

Acceptable becomes good

Good becomes better

Better becomes best

Repetitionre-do, and repeat…

lead to bestpractices…

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN THE CLASSROOM

5. Recognizing alternate points of view and

empathy.

Public schools develop “contributing citizens”

by teaching…

Cause and effect point of view

empathy

Via the curriculum of literature, history, and the social sciences.

Once students are able to verbalize and to express,

name emotions, make decisions, they are ready to verbalize and to express

the experiences of others, to name emotions

that others have, and to project decisions and

actions of others.

Remindero Most bully behavior is impulsive and for the

purpose of self-preservation. o Bully behavior is a desperate call for

personal power, not usually for the explicit intent of inflicting grief on others.

o Usually, bully behavior is reduced when the student becomes emotionally aware of his/her impact on others.

o The reduction of bully behavior is not just an intellectual learning.

More practice and more repetition and more re-doing…

leads to better empathy and less bullying.

Awareness is key.

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN THE CLASSROOM

6. The effective teacher models

target behaviors and attitudes.

Students adopt the words and practices of teachers.

Be sure you say and do what you want them to say and do…plan ahead of time. Guard against your own biases. Choose professional language

before sliding into colloquialisms . Dress to respect…and…and…

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN THE CLASSROOM

7. Eliminate negative talk.

Translate all talk to the positive.

Stop students from putting themselves down.

I can’t do this I need help for this.I am so stupid I am still learning.

I am ugly I have special, individual features.

This will never work I’ll find a way

Stop students from bullying with their words.

Get out of here, creep Join us?You are an idiot Do you need help?Man, you can’t shoot I can show you how.You are a b----- ! Are you okay today?

Behavior:

Put down………………….Saying “shut up”………Exclusion ………………..Name calling……………

Consequence:

…Write three compliments…List alternate wording…Student excluded

chooses…convert nouns to verbs

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

PERSISTENCEStay to your goal.

Remolding these practices takes a lot of persistence…

because, first you need to undo existing practices.

As students approximate the behaviors, recognize the effort and the favored outcomes.

Good, better, best…never let it rest…

’til the good gets better…and the better gets BEST!

TMI: TEN MINUTES OF INFORMATION

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