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“The way in which teachers and parents treat children greatly influences how children treat each
other.”(e.g., Lickona, 1999; Putallaz & Heflin, 1990; as cited by Fields & Boesser, 2002)
Creates an “atmosphere” – whether warmth or tension
LETTING IT SHOW By listening and observing, children can figure out a lot about what
feelings are, what situations are likely to create which feelings, and how to express feelings (Hyson 1994; as cited by Fields & Boesser, 2002)
APOLOGIZING
Responses such as
“You don’t hate your sister, so don’t talk like that,” or“Have a cookie and don’t cry,”
dismiss instead of acknowledge children’s feelingsteaching children that their feelings are wrongand make them feel guilty which then leads to negative behavior
USE YOUR WORDSWith a limited vocabulary, children need help in processing
their feelings. Restate the child’s sentence in a way that addresses the cause of her feelings and the more appropriate way of expressing it.
DENYING FEELINGSAllow the child to experience all sorts of emotion, even
negative ones. “The inevitable does happen,” and children need to be prepared for whatever comes their way. Note: get
CULTURAL DIFFERENCESRe: expression of anger, respect, emotion.Get to know the parents and families beforehand to come to
an agreement.
Know children’s influences. Know where they’re coming from. Know their needs.
MODELING ACCEPTANCETeaching tolerance: of differences and accepting these differences.
MODELING KINDNESSMake time for resolving problems.Re: bullying – work with parents and work with the whole class –
involve them in making their ideal class, to arrive to an agreement.
Intellectual risks.Sciences = generating and testing hypotheses. Arts = creativity.
WHY BOTHER? For development of H.O.T.S. and autonomy which leads children to become responsible, self-directed, and self-motivated learners.
HOW TO DO IT? Face your fears, accept its existence and share.
Ex. Keeping scissor points down,Pushing in chairs,Using the pedestrian lane when walking down the
street,Wearing seatbelt when on a drive, etc.
Important, powerful, nurturant people (Eisenberg, 1992; as cited by
Fields & Boesser, 2002).
1. SOMEONE SIMILAR2. SOMEONE TO BE LIKE
“They want to be like you because they like you.”MODELS OF VIOLENCE
Working with parents
BE A ROLE MODELBe kind to others
Be honest with your feelingsBe willing to try new thingsPractice what you preach
SHOW, DON’T JUST TELL
Clean upKeep promises
Be safe