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21st
Century Youth/Students
What stuff are they made of?
Daniel M. Sta.Maria
How YOU can help…
How to SAVE a life….
Key Risk Management Concepts:
It’s everyone’s job, responsibility
Collaborative team approach (it’s a
multi-disciplinary approach where
everyone’s contribution is important)
Freedom to identify risks and solutions
Appropriately resourced
Training
Timely communication and action
Orientation:
Empowering one self
Self smart
Three Minds toward Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the miracle by
which we master and restore
ourselves.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
MIND SET: Responding to
Youth/Students at Risk
Work on prevention, post vention
and intervention
Empathic Listening could be a
start of preventing further risks
among students.
What is Risk Management?
Process of analyzing potential
and perceived risks and taking
steps to avoid or minimize those
risks.
Empathic Listening
and
Making Referrals
Listen…………..
Empathic Listening
summary of what you sense the speaker thinks,
feels, and needs at the moment, without
judgmentwww.sfhelp.org
Empathic Listening
Focus
Feelings
Content
Steps for Empathic Listening
1. Listen carefully to the speaker’s messages,
both verbal and nonverbal
2. Display an open, caring posture
3. Consider the speaker’s emotional state
4. Calmly reflect back what you perceive the
speaker’s feelings and meaning to be with
confidence
American Society for Training and Development
Levels of Listening
Ignoring (doing something)
e.g. texting, talking on the phone, writing,
or using a computer or tablet
Pretended listening (looking yet not listening)
e.g. sometimes gazing at the window or people watching
Levels of Listening
Denying what was heard (rejecting feelings)
e.g. “you are just stressed…”
“don’t worry….tomorrow you’ll feel better”
“it’s just a phase...”
Selective listening (filtering)
i.e. responding only to the parts of a conversation...
Levels of Listening
Attentive listening (using attending behaviors)
e.g. make eye contact, smile or nod
Empathic listening (reflecting feelings and content)• “So you think that...“ “It seems like…”
• "What you need now is...“ “You feel…”
• "You're anxious about..."
• “You’re really feeling...”www.sfhelp.org
wwwww
Empathic Listening Example 1
Speaker: “My dad lost his job in Dubai. My mom is not working.
I am not sure if I can enroll next year. Also my
siblings. I don’t know what to do. I feel so hopeless
that I want to die.”
Listener: “If I hear you corrrectly, you are worried about the
financial situation of your family since this might
affect your studies.”
Speaker: “Yes. You don’t know how worried I am. While going
home last night, I thought of throwing myself at a
speeding jeep in front of the school.”
Cont…
Speaker: “It seems you were really affected
when your father lost his job.”
Empathic Listening Example 2
Speaker: “I didn’t attend my classes for 2 weeks now. I just
stayed at home and slept most of the time. If I’m
in the mood, I just eat once a day. I feel so
hopeless that I want to die.”
Listener: “Do you think you are depressed?
Speaker : “I think so. Everything I do is a failure. Nothing is
going right. I’m angry and frustrated. Right now I
don’t see any reason to live anymore.”
Listener: “It seems you are dissatisfied with what is happening
in your life right now.”
Cont…
Speaker: “Yes, very much. Last Monday night, I took sleeping
pills. I woke up the next day feeling dizzy and
nauseated.”
Listener: “You must have felt really bad when you woke up.”
Speaker: “Yes. I also tried hanging myself in the bathroom in
November”.
Listener: “Are you contemplating another suicide attempt
again?
Empathic Listening Example 3
Speaker: “I’m 3 months pregnant. My boyfriend don’t want to talk to me. I
have not told my parents yet. For sure, I know they will get angry
with me. I thought of just killing myself to end all this”.
Listener: “Pretty tough for you, right now, huh? It seems, you are anxious
about what your parents’ reaction will be.
Speaker: “Yes, I am. I will be a disappointment for them. My life is a waste.
I can’t concentrate with school work ever since. I feel I’m at the
end of my rope. It will be better if I just die.”
Listener: “You must be really stressed with your current situation that you
are considering you are ending your life.”
Cont….
Speaker: “Yes. Yesterday, I went to a mall and thought of
jumping off from the building. I don’t see any
reason to live.”
Listener: “This must be really a difficult time for you. Have you
tried to commit suicide before?”
Speaker: “Yes, twice. I feel there is no hope left.”
Listener: “Is the urge to commit suicide very strong lately? If
so, how do you plan to end your life? Do you have
the means for it? Or the means within your reach?
Behaviors to Avoid
• Questioning or Probing
• Judging
• Criticizing
• Lecturing
• Advising
• Interrupting (sssshhh…don’t talk about suicide!)
• Sermonizing (you know you’re committing a sin!)
• Giving autobiographical responses (e.g. “when I was your age…during my time…”)
American Society for Training and Development
How should I TALK with someone who
is suicidal?
• Express empathy for the person and tell them that you care and want to help
• Encourage the person to do most of the talking and listen to them without expressing judgment
• Allow the person to tell about his/her feelings and their reasons for wanting to die
Suicide First Aid Guidelines for the Philippines
How should I TALK with someone who is
suicidal?
• Avoid asking if the person have a ‘mental illness’
• Find out if there is a support system
• Consider and use the person’s belief systems and values, including spiritual and religious beliefs, to encourage them to change their mind about suicide
• Encourage the person to think about their personal strengths
Suicide First Aid Guidelines for the Philippines
Everything has its Limitations
• so with empathic listening, and
counseling. . .
Making a Referral
When to refer….
• When a person presents a problem or a request for information which is beyond your level of competency
• When you feel that personality differences (which cannot be resolved) between you and the person will interfere with his or her effective progress
Making Referral
How to refer…..
• Suggest that he or she may consider availing of the counseling services provided by the OCCS for FREE
• Respect the person being referred
Inform OCCS about your Referral
If the person agrees to the referral, you may:
a. Download the counseling referral form from this website
www.dlsu.edu.ph/offices/sps/default.asp
b. Ask the person to schedule an appointment with a
counselor. In case of emergency, you may
immediately accompany the person to the OCCS
OCCS Address and Contact
Numbers
Room 304, Bro. Connon Bldg.
Local Numbers:
419, Bro. Connon
389, Andrew
Direct Line:
536 02 26
Some Reminders…..
• A person has the freedom to refuse a referral
• Any information provided by the person are strictly confidential. However, if his or her behavior endangers one’s well-being and those of others, it is our utmost responsibility to provide such help to the person without necessarily getting his or her consent
In case of emergency…..
• Take the suicidal person to the nearest safe place (e.g. church, hospital/clinic or police station)
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!