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The ameer of the home
The rights and responsibilities of the husband
Pres ented By
S hei kh mu s leh kha n
www.faceb o o k.c o m/b rother.m u sleh
Islam places obligations on men and
women to complete half of their Deen
with marriage.
Most Muslims know this but don’t
understand that the secret to a
successful marriage lies in fulfilling
your roles as decreed by Allah SWT.
The husband is the ameer of the
home and has many rights over his
family and responsibilities towards
them
As a husband, what are
my duties and
responsibilities?
Duties of the husband
1. Mahr
Demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage contract
Mark of respect towards the wife and also compensation in return for wife making herself available to him
Husband must give mahr, especially if stipulated in marriage contract – but if wife withholds his rights to intimacy – she loses this right
“You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably” (4:4)
Duties of the husband
2. Allowance It is obligatory for the husband to provide financial
support to his household according to his status and means – it is not enough to just provide her with a home!
Husband must provide even if the is wife is rich!
“But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food on a reasonable basis” [Al Baqarah 2:233]
He should also help his wife around the home – the Prophet (SAW) used to help his wives around the home and even wash/mend his own clothes
There is a reward from Allah every time you spend on your family!
Duties of the husband
3. Accommodation
He should provide accommodation for his
wife and family according to his means
“Lodge them (the women)where you dwell,
according to your means” [At-Talaaq 65:6]
He should take care of his wife’s honour -
she has a right to not live with in-laws,
especially if her husband has brothers or
there are other non-mahrams in the house.
To maintain privacy of the home
Duties of the husband
4. Treat his wives fairly and equally
If the husband has more than one wife, he
needs to do his best to treat them all fairly
Prophet Mohammed (SAW) said:
“Those who have two women and were not
fair to them; his half will lean on Judgement
day” (At Tirmidhi)
It is recognised that it is not an easy thing to
do, as the situation with each wife is likely to
be different regarding size of family,
emotional feelings etc
Duties of the husband
5. Protector
Allah says:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (4:34).
Protect her from any type of harm, physical or emotional, and protection of her deen – also means protection from himself/his own anger
Men should have protective jealousy over their wives in a moderate manner – not to be confused with suspicion/extreme jealousy!
Duties of the husband
6. Love and kindness
“It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her in love" (7:189)
The Prophet (SAW), who was the best amongst men to his wives said:
“Be kind to women” (Al Bukhari)
There are no narrations about the Prophet (SAW) being physically violent, unkind or verbally abusive to his wives!
As a husband, what are
my rights from my
wife?
rights of the husband
1. Obedience and Serving
Husband has the right to command, protect and take care of his wife
They also look after their wives financially, so it is reasonable to expect their wives to be obedient to them
Serving does not mean slavery!
Prophet (SAW) said:
“Any woman that dies while her husband was pleased with her; will enter Jannah.” (Ibn Majjah)
Rights of the husband
2. A halal relationship with his wife
The wife should make herself available to her husband, after marriage has taken place and he has given the mahr
Wife should not withhold this right from her husband especially if she took the mahr
Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet (SAW) said:
“If a man calls on his wife to his bed, and she did not come so that he slept feeling angry with her, the angels will curse her till morning” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim).
rights of the husband
3. Not admitting anyone he dislikes
The husband is allowed to prevent the wife from allowing anyone into their family home whom he dislikes
This is because he has provided the marital home and looks after his wife financially
Wife should not accept gifts or invitations from such people if her husband dislikes them
Prophet (SAW) said:
“It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission…” (Muslim)
rights of the husband
4. Give permission for wife to go out of house
The wife should not go out of the house without first seeking her husband’s permission/approval
This is an important part of being obedient to the husband
Not an opportunity for dictatorship, dominance or control in the marriage!! Husband should be reasonable in this matter
rights of the husband
5. Love, kindness and respect
The wife is expected to treat her husband in a good manner and seek his pleasure, in the same way he is expected to treat her well
Prophet (SAW) said:
“I seen the hellfire...and I saw the majority of its dwellers are women” when asked why he said: “They are ungrateful in their lives and benevolence. If you were good to her all your life and she has seen something (that displeases her) she said: “I never saw any good from you”
Conclusion
The husband has many rights and responsibilities, more than their wives:
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them” [Al-Baqarah 2:228]
The most important of their responsibilities is the care and provision of his wife and children, which they are obligated to fulfill
When a husband is pleased with his wife and gets his due rights from her, her reward is great inshAllah
Coming soon . . .
Weekly radio show hosted by Sheikh Musleh
Khan – broadcasting live on Facebook
Answering all questions about marriage –
everything you wanted to know about this topic
and more!
Watch out for the announcement on Pure
Matrimony and Sheikh Musleh’s Facebook
pages
Pure Matrimony is working together with Sheikh Musleh to bring you Agony Sheikh!
Our next webinar!
Marital breakdown: its causes and
its cures
With Sheikh Assim Alhakeem Thursday 28th March 2013 at 6 pm (GMT) Register via Facebook today!
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