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Rifq: Rifq: Toward aToward a
Gentler CommunityGentler CommunityBy Taha Ghayyur
Master and the She-Camel
What is Rifq?
•Rifq: Defined as Gentleness, Kindness& Forbearance•Gentleness: Quality of True Character in many traditions•Opposite of Anger, Rudeness & Aggression•Aristotle: “Justified and properly focused anger is named mildness or gentleness”•In medieval times, Gentleness was associated with higher social classes: hence the terms gentleman, gentlewoman and gentry.
What is Rifq?
•Rifq can also be described in Arabic as Hilm (Clemency) & Anaah (Tolerance)
•Ra-Fa-Qa Rifq (Gentleness) Yarfuqu or Rifqan (to be useful) Raafaqa or Murafaqa (to accompany) Rafeeq (companion) Murtafiqan (resting place) Mirfaq (elbow)
What is Rifq?
Rahmah(Mercy)
Sabr (Patienc
e)
Rifq(Gentlenes
s)
Rifq(Gentlenes
s)
Weakness in Standing
up for Truth
Rifq(Gentlenes
s)Lack of
Confidence
Rifq(Gentlenes
s)
Anti-Social
Behaviour
Ikhlas(Sincerit
y)
Rifq(Gentlenes
s)
Naivety or
Foolishness
Why Rifq Matters?
1. Allah is Ar-Rafiq: Divine Quality
Why Rifq Matters?
2. Allah Reminds the Prophet to be
Gentle & Forgiving (at a Critical Time)
Why Rifq Matters?
3. Allah & the Prophet Spoke Highly of Those Who Repress Anger
Why Rifq Matters?
4. Two Qualities Beloved to God
Why Rifq Matters?
5. Allah Loves Rifq, Only Rewards Rifq & Doesn’t Reward Harshness
Why Rifq Matters?
6. Gentleness Beautifies, Harshness Leaves Ugliness & Defect
Why Rifq Matters?
7. Gentleness at Home – Gift from Allah!
Why Rifq Matters?
8. No Gentleness, No Goodness!
Why Rifq Matters?
9. Hellfire Forbidden for the Accessible, Gentle & Easy-Going
Why Rifq Matters?
10. Make it Easy, Not HardWelcome, Not Repel
Why Rifq Matters?
11. Gentleness is a Universal Language
Why Rifq Matters?
12. Gentleness = Strength
Why Rifq Matters?
13. Gentleness & Compassion are Like Muscles that can be Trained - Study
Why Rifq Matters?
14. Gentleness is Contagious: 3-Way Positive Effect - Study
Why Rifq Matters?
15. Kindness & Health Benefits•Children & Kindness: Happier; Increased Popularity; More Friends; Better Academic Performance; Positive Behaviour; Less Bullying•Random Acts of Kindness Help Mental Health•Gentleness and Random Acts of Kindness can Release the Stress•“Pay it Forward” Pays Off
What Happens When Rifq is Missing?
• Negativity • Mental Stress• Harshness &
Rudeness• Insensitivity• Spiritual
Weakness• Lack of Empathy• Lack of
Compassion• Uncontrolled
Anger• Aggression• Ego• Racism
• Disrespect• Name-calling• Sarcasm / Taunt• Divorce• Disunity• Violence• Domestic Abuse• Bullying• Crime• War• Terrorism
Why is Rifq Diminishing Today?
• “Busy” Lifestyle• Cut-Throat
Competition• Culture of Instant
Gratification• Video Games • Negative News• Violence in
Movies & Cartoons
• Lack of Humility• Lack of Sincerity
• Minimal Connection with Humans
• Minimal Connection with Nature
• Minimal Connection with Disadvantaged
• “Me, Myself & I” Culture – Youtube, Facebook & Selfies
• Schooling• Parenting
How to Become a Gentler Community
1. Study & Emulate the Exemplar of Rifq
How to Become a Gentler Community
2. Smile: It’s a Sunnah, Free & Irresistible!
How to Become a Gentler Community
3. Be Positive: Thought, Language, Tone & Gestures
How to Become a Gentler Community
4. Soften Your Heart with Dhikr (Remembrance) & Sadaqa (Giving)
How to Become a Gentler Community
5. Practice Random Acts of Kindness
How to Become a Gentler Community
6. Encourage, Appreciate & Reward Gentleness at Home, School, Work...etc.
How to Become a Gentler Community
7. Have Zero-Tolerance for Disrespect, Mocking, Rudeness & Hurt to ANYONE
How to Become a Gentler Community
8. Spend More Quality Time with Humans & Nature
How to Become a Gentler Community
9. Reduce Time with Digital Gadgets & News – Screen Time Rude Behaviour
How to Become a Gentler Community
10. Remember: Allah’s Mercy Partly Depends on Your Gentleness & Compassion
