POEMS FOR GEEKSby Neil Dufty

The Procrastinator

 I almost didn’t write this poemI wondered, I ponderedWalked around my home. I thought of an excuse not to writeFed the pet, placed a betWent and got a bite. I went for walk around the blockTo clear the mind, find a lineI must have writer’s block. I turned the computer on againStared at the screen, at a scene I was finding this a pain. I almost put off procrastinatingWhat a shame, no words cameSat there contemplating.........

© Neil Dufty

Cantankerous Computer

I think I’ll turn on my computer, see what’s going downOh no - the alarm - enough to make a computer frownWhy does it take so long for this blessed thing to start?Because like you I need to get up, have a feed and fartSo slow, I thought I paid to boost this old computer’s RAM?I might have a go, if I didn’t have to deal with your spamFinally, finally I can go online and check my new emailSee I might take a while but this machine will never failThis writing is too small. I need to go closer to the screenGet out of my face before I blank the screen and screamThink I’ll Google. I am in the hunt for a brand new carHuh, those sites have had more hits than a great rock starI’m bored. Think I will tune some ladies on my FacebookNow you’re talking, I’m all for you having a very long lookThere’s nothing like having an online perv and a long chatHey, I might even hear from that cute little Apple catThink I’ll try to set up that program that they call SkypeStay chatting. Don’t believe all that Skypey-type hypeSuppose I better do some work using my Microsoft WordNo, I’ll have to use my memory, wish this guy wasn’t a nerd!This writing is taking time - there is just no end in sightHow many bytes will it take till he gets it all right? I’ve had enough. I’ll install updates, start to shut downWhat’s going on? For shutting down this thing is renownedHey buddy I hope you’ve hit that little button called ‘Save’You’re joking! I’ve lost all the changes that I’d just made!See you later, much later. I am staying in sleep modeNow this computer won’t restart. I’m off down the road.

© Neil Dufty

Lost in Cyberspace

Is there anyone out there? I am calling from afarCan anybody answer?Quiet is becoming par. I’m seeking cyber-friendsOnes who will always postMy site I will always tendTo become the perfect host. Ah, words start to fill the voidA message from a ‘friend’?Annoyed to being buoyedThis is a better trend.  Oh, reading the mail from this otherI find it is only from my mother.

© Neil Dufty

Sans cell

 Without my cell phone I: - will have to use something called a landline - can’t access my crap rap app clap trap - can’t annoy people on trains with my Britney Spears

ringtone - will have to argue face-to-face - can’t be hassled by telemarketers - won’t be able to work out where I’m going without my

GPS app - will have to spell words correctly - will be off my Face (book) - may not get brain cancer - will have to write with a pen - won’t have a bulge in my pants (only applicable to

males!) - won’t have to upgrade to ‘keep up with the Phoneses’ But worst of all I’ll: - have to return to the Eighties!

© Neil Dufty

Sonnet ∞

I will compare you to my computer, if I may?You are more lovely and more considerate;Rough deals and plenty of crud are on Ebay,And I haven’t been able to find a cyber mate; Sometimes it won’t turn on and wastes time,And often its monitor screen goes dim;And I think its ability has greatly declined,Like a mobile phone with a faulty SIM; But your very being will never ever fadeNor lose possession of its sense of humour;And I apologise for all the errors I’ve made,Please delete, and assign them all to rumour. So long as we can breathe and our eyes can see,You will always be better than a machine to me. (Author’s Note: Apologies to the great William

Shakespeare for the take on his ‘Sonnet XVIII’)

© Neil Dufty

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