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We warmly welcome Suzette Venter to this year's SACAP Psychology Festival of Learning. Suzette is a mother who lost her eldest son, Eugene, in January 2006. Since then she journeyed through her grief and also ran The Compassionate Friends in Cape Town (self-help support organisation for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents). What she understands best is the grieving journey…for her it is not a process, but a whirlpool of emotions and re-adapting to life. Suzette has a passion for helping people and has compassion towards parents finding their way back after the death of a child or children.
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Welcome
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The misunderstanding of grieve…
By Suzette Venter The Compassionate Friends
www.tcfcape.co.zaEmail: [email protected]
Suzette Venter
• Grief supporter• The Compassionate Friends Cape Town• Workshops• Speaker• Hypnotherapist• Cell: 0845688402• Email: [email protected]
Suzette Venter
• University of life…• Experience hardship of various kinds…• Most profound impact…• Eugene’s story• Growing from this.
The Compassionate Friends
• International, self help support organisation• Started in England by Reverend Simon Stephens in
1969 • TCF was founded in South Africa in 1983 by Linda
Abelheim and there are now more the 30 groups throughout the country.
• TCF CT in 1984 Miriam Briderman Daughter and family was killed in a car accident. She started TCF Cape Town after that.
What is grieve…
• Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone loved dies
• Mourning is the outward expression of grief• Everyone who has the capacity to give and
receive love grieves when someone loved dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn.
Be compassionate with yourself
• The journey through grief is a long and difficult one. It is also a journey for which there is no preparation
• Be compassionate with yourself as you encounter painful thoughts and feeling of loss and grieve
• Don’t judge yourself or try to set a particular course for healing
• Let your journey be what it is. And let yourself – your new, grieving self – be who you are.
Understanding the needs of mourning
• Acknowledge the reality of the death• Embrace the pain of the loss• Remember the person who died• Develop a new self-identity• Search for meaning• Receive ongoing support from others
Misunderstanding of grieve…
• There is a time limit…• There is closure…• There is life after a death…• Using the wrong words of comfort…• No contact…not talking…• Transferring your inability to structure their
grieving…
Conclusion…
• Each person grieve individually• Each grieving process is unique• Each grieving process has a differing timeline• Be caring, always ask about the deceased• Talk about the deceased• Always show love and compassion…
Thank youPlease visit www.sacap.edu.za/events to view
material from this talk and to add your comments
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