Learning Pool: Work life balance 1 the secrets to building confidence resilience & motivation

Confidence,

Resilience

& Motivation

© www.soulambition.co.uk

The key to all three is:

Story.


My Story

From unfulfilling job, feeling trapped,being own worst critic,

having “brittle” confidence...

...to rewarding career(s), feeling free,being own best friend,

having real, lasting confidence


Your Story?



Confidence:

Before & After



“Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're probably right.”

Henry Ford


Confidence:

Worth + Ability


What personality traits are you proudest of?

What would your best friend say was the best thing about you?

What skills are you proudest of?

What achievements are you proudest of?


Blame v. Responsibility:

My BusinessYour BusinessAny Other Business

[Adapted from “Loving What Is”, Byron Katie]


What personality traits would you like to develop?

What skills would you like to develop?

What values would you like to honour more?

What would you like other people to see in you?


Who do you most admire?

What is it you admire most about them?

Do you already have this?

Do you want to develop this in yourself?

How could you emulate them?

Fake it – but only until you make it yours!


Leave your comfort zone.

Regularly.


Regarding doubt / warnings / advice you don't want:

Remember it is usually well-meant

...And it is sometimes well-judged

Appreciate the concern behind it

Try not to be defensive

“Thanks for that, I'll certainly think about it”, or

“I'm happy with my decision but thanks for your concern”


Regarding criticism:

“Do you think so? That's interesting.”

In your own time, consider it for value

Keep / act on anything useful

Ditch anything else!

There is no failure – only feedback


...That goes for self-criticism too!


Other people may be scared of your changes.

Other people may be jealous of your changes.

Other people might say you're not

capable of change.

That's them – NOT YOU!


Resilience:

Before & After


“Resilience is the human capacity to deal with, overcome, learn from or even

be transformed by adversity”

[Edith H. Grotberg,1999]


Attitude: thoughts, feelings, behaviours

Flexible thinking: choose your story

Determination to fully experience & grow

Perspective: mountain or molehill?

Find lesson or opportunity


Prioritise – 'me' time and space is crucial

Say no without guilt

Say yes without fear (and even with it)

Get rid of 'should'

Use your energy for 'my business'

Accept that resilience is not constant or universal – go easy on yourself


Vulnerability:

Risks v Benefits?


Emotions – use as a guide

Don't bottle up or blot out

Look for thought behind the emotion

Choose a more supportive thought (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

Prioritise your values


Create an exciting, inspiring vision of yourself as you want to be


Support & resources?

Inner and Outer


Enough Sleep (beat rumination)

Healthy diet – plenty of water

Exercise

“Interval training” - build in recovery

Supportive breathing

Meditation


Family & Friends

Professionals

Forums, support groups

Books, articles, websites, courses, podcasts, etc


Motivation:

Before & After



Story:

“What sort of person am I,what sort of situation is this, andwhat does a person like me do

in a situation like this?”


New story?

Create an exciting, inspiring vision of yourself as you want to be


The Rider, the Elephant and the Path

(Rational, emotional & environmental components)

[“Switch!” - Chip & Dan Heath]





Surround yourself with positive people.

Don't share your dreams with negative people.

Learn to 'firewall'.

This is your life – no-one else's!


Your life is what you make it,

not what happens to you.

Own it.


Recommended Reading

Developing Resilience: A Cognitive Behavioural

Approach - Michael Neenan

The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

Loving What Is - Byron Katie

Switch! - Chip & Dan Heath


Recommended Reading (continued)

Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in

Everyday Life - Thich Nhat Hanh

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing

the Way You Think - Christine A Padesky and Dennis

Greenberger

Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power,

Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams – Debbie Ford


Send your questions and comments to [email protected]

For ideas, inspiration,

useful links and motivation:

www.soulambition.co.uk

mailto:[email protected]

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Learning Pool: Work life balance 1 the secrets to building confidence resilience & motivation