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LAUghs For

Wisdom

"Life, love, and laughter -- what

priceless gifts to

give our children."

Phyllis Dryden

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Joke 1The Ugly Baby

A mother who was carrying a baby, boarded a bus. The bus driver remarked, “That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The mother fumed but went to the back of the bus and sat down. ‘The stupid driver just insulted me,” she told the passenger sitting beside her.

“Why don’t you go right up there and tell him off?” her seatmate said. Next Slide Please…

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“While you do that, let me hold your monkey for you.”

Reflection

How often have we added salt to wounds due to carelessness or a lack of mindful wisdom? One

needs to be observant and heedful before speaking. There is

a Proverb :‘The tongue may be 3-inch long but it can kill a man 6 feet tall.’

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Joke 2 Dumb Pretty NurseAn ugly but brilliant doctor once told a dull-witted but very pretty nurse, “Even

though you have little brains, your looks are fantastic!”

“Oh, thank you, Doctor,” the dumb nurse said happily. “You know, how great it’d be if we were to get married …

we’ll have children with your intelligence and my

looks.”

Next Slide please…

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“What if our children have my looks and your brains?” the doctor remarked.

Reflection

We cannot assume that things will turn out the way we want them to. Life can

be unpredictable and things are uncertain. When one sees this fact of life, one

grows in wisdom.

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The Speaker A well-known motivation

speaker gave a talk to a local Women’s Club. At the end of his talk, the secretary of the Club gave him a cheque meant as reimbursement for his traveling expenses. The speaker declined the cheque and said it could be donated to any charity. “Would you mind,” the Secretary asked, “if we put the donation into our Special Fund?”

“Not at all,” the speaker replied. “As a matter of curiosity, what’s the Special Fund for?”

Next Slide please …

Joke 3

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“To enable our Women’s Club to get a better speaker next year.”

ReflectionA lack of mindfulness and wisdom can cause much

hurt to other people. One has to be mindful of one’s

speech for it can be misconstrued by others

thereby affecting relationships.

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Joke 4

When The Boss Jokes …

When the arrogant boss returned from lunch one day, he was in a good mood. He called the whole staff to listen to some jokes that he had picked up. Everybody, except for one lady, laughed and clapped loudly. “Hey, what’s the matter with you?” the boss grumbled at the lady. “Don’t you have a sense of humor?” Next Slide please…

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“I don’t have to laugh,” the lady replied.

“I’m leaving

the company

this Friday.”

Reflection

In a world of hypocrisy,

many put on a front to please

their superiors or to curry a

favor from them.

Honesty and sincerity are

getting harder to come by.

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Joke 5

The Cab DriverA taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder as he wanted to ask him

something. The driver gave out a loud scream, lost control of the car, nearly hit a van, drove up a curb and stopped just a few inches from a shop window. The driver told the passenger, “Sir, don’t ever do that again. Did you know that you scared me out of my wits?”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare the daylights out of you.” Next Slide please …

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The driver said, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. You know, today is my first day as a cab driver. For the last twenty years I’ve been driving a funeral van.”

Reflection : Great fear can arise when one associates a present happening with one’s past circumstances or experiences. When the mind goes to the past ( or the future ), negative feelings can arise. Live more in the NOW.

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Joke 6

Tooth Extraction A woman and her

husband had to go to the dentist.

“I want a tooth extracted, and I don’t want any anesthetic because I am in a hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly

as possible and then we’ll continue our vacation.”

The dentist was quite impressed. “You are certainly a very brave woman,” he said “Which tooth is it?”

Next Slide please …

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The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show the dentist your tooth dear.”

ReflectionMany are concerned only about their own interests …they become insensitive to the suffering of others. Have more and more people become more materialistic, selfish and self-centered today?

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Joke 7

The Watermelons

A farmer had a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovered that some kids had been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thought of ways to discourage this dishonest eating of the watermelons. He put up a sign that read :

“WARNING – ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS THE POISON CYANIDE!” Next Slide please…

1 has poison

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The farmer returned a week later to discover that none of the watermelons had

been eaten but found a sign that read :“NOW THERE ARE TWO!”

Reflection

In trying to solve a problem, a wrong strategy,

instead of resolving the matter, complicates the

problem even more. Real wisdom is needed to end a conflict or solve a problem.

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Joke 8No RespectThe boss of a company

used to throw his weight around . He often nagged his staff

members unreasonably and told them that they must show more

respect for him.One morning he brought

a sign that read “ I AM THE BOSS ”.

He hung it on his office door.

Next Slide please…

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Later that day when he returned from his lunch break, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign on his office door. The note said: “YOUR WIFE CALLED. SHE WANTS HER SIGN BACK.”

Reflection

How many hen-pecked husbands

become nasty bosses in their places of work,

treating their subordinates in

most unreasonable ways?

Practise kindness to all.

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Joke 9

An Anniversary Wish

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th wedding Anniversary. A wizard appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world and poof – the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.

Next, the wizard asked the husband what he wanted. He said, “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.”Next Slide Please…

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The wizard picked up his wand and poof – the husband was 90 years old.

Reflection

Unwholesome wishes sometimes come true in a most unexpected manner to the disappointment or

detriment of the wisher.

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Joke 10

A Final Moment Of TruthA man was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: his wife and four children. Three of the children were tall, good looking andathletic, but the fourth and youngest was short and ugly. “Darling,” the husband whispered, “assure me that the youngest child is really mine. I want to know the truth before I die. I will forgive you if …” The wife gently interrupted him, “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question. I swear on my mother’s grave that you are his father.” The man gave a sigh and then died, happy. Next Slide Please…

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The wife muttered under her breath, “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three.”

Reflection: How many spouses cheat on each other? There will be a price to pay for this sexual misconduct.

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The End

Seven jokeless days

Make one very weak!

May All

Be

Healthy

And

Happy!

With Loving-Kindness,

Bro. Oh Teik Bin