Getting Along With Others

NOMORE

DRAMA!

POSSIBILITY?• Use conflicts for positive growth

experiences• Anger management

techniques/meditation• View situations as being difficult –

can be changed • Awareness of personality types &

individual conflict styles (including our own)

• Step back and consider who is being difficult and is this opinion relative?

POSSIBILITY?• We will examine conflict

theories• We will explore causes of

conflicts• We will review examples of

conflicts and difficult situations• We will consider advice and

practical tips from the experts• We will discuss our own

suggested solutions.

PEACE, HARMONY & WELLNESS

CONFLICTBANG!

RESOLUTION

What is Conflict?• A conflict is a fight, struggle, battle,

disagreement, dispute or quarrel.• A conflict can be as small as a

disagreement or as large as a war.

What is Conflict?• Conflict-you’ll find it

everywhere!• Whenever two people

come into contact, the potential for conflict arises. It is a normal part of human interaction

• A struggle over wants, needs, goals and values.

Things We Fight Over• WANT: Something one desires• NEED: Something necessary• VALUE: Estimated or assigned worth • GOAL: What one works to achieve

WANT NEED

GOALVALUE

BASES OF CONFLICTS:Differences in wants, needs,

goals or values

Scarcity of resources: property, money, time or power

Competition

Rivalry Sport

Conflict Causes

DIFFERENCES:  CULTURAL & LANGUAGE

SEXUALEDUCATION

AGERELIGION & VALUESBELIEFS & POLITICS

Conflict Causes

BODY LANGUAGENO / POOR LEADERSHIP

PROCRASTINATIONPERSONAL VS PRO GOALS

STRESSFRUSTRATION

Conflict Causes

BURN OUTEGO

WORK OVERLOADPOOR PLANNING

CHANGEETHICS / MORALS

LINDA’S SADSTORY

Conflict Causes

MANIPULATIONNOT VALUING OTHERSNEED FOR CONTROL

SABOTAGE IMMATURITYRESISTANCE

MANIPULATIONNOT VALUING OTHERSNEED FOR CONTROL

SABOTAGE IMMATURITYRESISTANCE

Conflict Causes

NEPOTISMJEALOUSY

LACK OF UNDERSTANDING PREJUDICE / BIASES

UNCLEAR ROLESSCAPEGOATING

Conflict Causes

PERSONALITY CLASHFAULT FINDING

APATHYATTITUDES

UNFAIR DISCIPLINEINCONSISTENCY

Benefits of Conflict

• Conflicts increase awareness of problems• Conflicts can make life more interesting• Conflicts allow you to see different

perspectives• Conflicts create new ideas• Conflicts allow you to learn more about

others• Conflicts allow you to learn more about

yourself

A Conflict Has Been Helpful If:

• You are able to relate better with others

• You feel better about each other• You are satisfied with the results

of the conflict• Your ability to resolve conflicts has

improved• You feel your point of view has

been heard• You have learned something about;

a topic, another person and/or yourself

Conflict Tips • Ask Questions – Communicate wants• Consider everyone’s expectations• Accept there will be different perspectives • Watch for emotional triggers & remain calm• Focus on preventing escalation• Commit to working things out• Be familiar with conflict styles

Conflict Tips • Awareness of the various conflict styles allows for a

better understanding of others

• By being able to predict someone’s reactions, we can

send out triggers for positive responses

• Knowledge empowers; as with this understanding,

comes the ability to

“influence others”

Sort Of Like …

MAGIC!

The LangsWitch

What Conflict Style Are You?

The Turtle: Avoidance• The strength of this style is that this person

can easily look past conflicts and realizes most conflicts will solve themselves. They are calm on the outside and help de-escalate emotions in conflict.

• The struggle with this style is the tendency to minimize, deny, and avoid conflict altogether. Major conflict tends to grow worse when it isn’t addressed.

The Turtle: Avoidance

The Teddy Bear: Accommodation• The strength of this style is how likeable and

lovable this person is. They want and need harmony. They will accept blame just to bring peace to angry situations.

• The struggle of this style is that a teddy bear may be taken advantage of; become a doormat. Secretly, they tend to have low self-esteem and use likability from others as a way to build their own self-confidence.

The Teddy Bear: Accommodation

The Shark: Competition• The strength of this style is the ability to be

strong, courageous and bring a conflict out in the open quickly. A shark is a leader that can confront bullies.

• The struggles are becoming too pushy, tactless and hurting people’s feelings. Sharks can escalate emotions and create barriers easily.

The Shark: Competition

The Fox: Compromise• The strength of the fox is communication and a

willingness to find win-win or lose-lose compromises. Often the fox is able to craft intelligent intermediate solutions.

• The struggles of the fox are an overuse of deceptiveness and manipulation devices. People may feel “outfoxed” and cheated by others using this style.

The Fox: Compromise

The Owl: Collaboration• The strength of this style is integrity. Owls build

trust, respect and deep relationships. They are not tied to their way and tend to have an open mind for solutions that create a win-win experience.

• The struggle is that owls must have two willing parties with high levels of communication skills in order to collaborate. Some conflicts require quick solutions and this style may take too long.

The Owl: Collaboration

Successful Conflict Resolution Means Being Flexible Enough To

Use All Conflict Styles Depending on The Situation!

THE BIG FOURWith the Little Four

Just To Make You Write More

BIG ONE

Don’t Allow Yourself To Be Consumed With The Argument

Don’t Stay In An Abusive Situation

When There Is Nothing To Be Gained By Winning / Settling

BIG TWOCHANGECHANGE

CHANGEYour Attitude MUST change

Check Your Perception

See Beyond Your Pre Conceived Opinions

1. It is your responsibility to resolve the conflict.

2. Every action has a positive intention.

3. People are doing the best they can with what they have.

4. Flexibility is the only way to get results

Mini Four(Beliefs of Change)

BIG THREEChange THEIR AttitudeUnderstand Why They Are Difficult

(and show understanding)

Gently Show Them Another Angle(and that you deserve respect)

BIG FOURTAKE A STANDLast Option

Develop A Strategy – Plan, Don’t ReactConsult With Others

Take Situation Seriously

Defend Your Position With Facts

GIVEPEACE

A CHANCE!!