Using Emotions

in a Positive Way

Jim Marteney

Professor of Communication Studies

Los Angeles Valley College

Selecting a Teammate

What characteristics do

you look for when adding

a person to your team at

work?

Emotional Intelligence

The intelligent use

of one’s emotions

Emotional Intelligence

Tuning into the wealth

of information generated

by our feelings, senses

and our overall

emotions.

Emotional Intelligence

October 1995

Emotional Intelligence

“It’s not your IQ. It’s

not even a number.

But emotional

intelligence may be

the best predictor of

success in life,

redefining what it

means to be smart.”

October 1995

EQ accounts for XX% of success in life

EQ accounts for 80% of success in life

IQ accounts for 20% of success in life

We get promoted for our EQ

We get hired for our IQ

We get fired for our EQ

It all starts with the Brain

Brain Stem

Limbic System

Frontal Lobe

Brain Stem

Cerebrum

Myths about Emotions

Emotions are Dangerous

Emotions are inferior as they are

more primitive than reason

There are good emotions and bad

emotions

Four Strategies

Self Talk

Arousal Control

Goal Setting

Mental Rehearsal

1. Self Awareness

Recognize a feeling as it happens

EmotionsAnger fury, outrage, resentment, wrath, exasperation, irritability

Sadness grief, sorrow, gloom, melancholy, loneliness, dejection

Fear anxiety, apprehension, nervousness, concern, misgiving, dread

Enjoymenthappiness, joy, relief, contentment, bliss, whimsy,

rapture

Love acceptance, trust, kindness, affinity, adoration, infatuation

Surprise shock, astonishment, amazement, wonder

Disgust contempt, disdain, scorn, abhorrence, distaste, revulsion

Shame guilt, chagrin, remorse, humiliation, regret

Things That Provoke Us

Injustice

Hurt

Frustration

Annoyances

2. Mood Management

Shake it off, and

bounce back from

setbacks

3. Self Motivation

Marshaling of

feelings and

enthusiasm

Question?

What is the difference

between a plan and a dream?

Franklin Chang Diaz

EQ’s Control Over Us

4. Empathy

The skill to

recognize

emotions and

feeling in others.

5. Relationship Skills

A person’s ability to

make personal connections

5. Relationship Skills

“You will make more friends in

two days being interested in

them, than in two months trying

to get them interested in you.”

Dale Carnegie

Fountains Drains

Two Types of People

Emotional IntelligencePersonal

Competenc

e

Social

Competence

Recognition

Regulation

Self Awareness

Emotional Self Awareness

Accurate self-assessment

Self-confidence

Self-Management

Self-control

Trustworthiness

Adaptability

Achievement drive

Initiative

Social Awareness

Empathy

Team awareness

Organizational

awareness

Relationship

Management

Influence

Communication

Conflict management

Leadership actions

Building bonds

Leadership

Daniel Goleman

“Great leaders move us.

They ignite our passion and

inspire the best in us. When

we try to explain why they

are so effective, we speak of

strategy, vision, or powerful

ideas. But the reality is much

more primal: Great

leadership works through the

emotions.”

Improving Our EQ

The Good News:

We can all improve our EQ

No matter how old we are.

Improving Our EQ

1. Self Awareness

What are you feeling?

What is causing that feeling?

Take breaks during the day to audit your

feelings.

Improving Our EQ

2. Mood Management

Use activities to release negative emotions

Prepare yourself for challenges

Find friends

Take a break during the day to manage your

mood

Improving Our EQ

3. Self Motivation

Sketch out a specific plan of action

Manage Your Time

Use the S.E.A.L.s 4 strategies

Decide on your goals, professionally & personally

Improving Our EQ

4. Empathy

Be an Empathic listener

Try seeing how long you can listen

to someone without interrupting

Ask yourself, “What are behind those words?”

Improving Our EQ

5. Relationship Skills

Build relationships both personally &

professionally

Encourage growth of those around you

Think, what’s in it for them?

Practice connecting with other’s communication style

Now, use your emotions for

success