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Conflict Resolution

Dealing with Difficult People

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Page 1: Dealing with Difficult People

Conflict Resolution

Page 2: Dealing with Difficult People

What is Conflict?

Scholarly Explanation of Conflict

A Traditional Conflict

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The Thomas Kilman Instrument

Also known as the T.K.I. Designed in 1979 by Ken Thomas and Ralph

Kilman One of the most highly used assessments in

the business world today.

How do you resolve conflict?

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Instructions

Answer A or B (if neither fit, go with the one most likely).

Trust your instincts (you all get A’s for completion )

Circle the letter in the column that corresponds with your answer

Calculate the column scores Wait patiently. All will be revealed.

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Five Conflict Resolution Styles

Turtle Teddy Bear Shark Fox Wolf

This is not a set-up for a new Disney movie.

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TKI Conflict Mode Instrument

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The Turtle (Avoiding)

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“Maybe it will just go away…”

When it works:▪ When the issue is trivial, or you have no chance of

winning.▪ When the atmosphere is emotionally charged and you

need to make space.▪ When someone else has a better handle of the situation

and interfering could cause problems.

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“Maybe it will just go away…”

When it doesn’t work:▪ It does not address the problem.▪ Hope is not a strategy. ▪ Can lead to an image of weakness or of someone that

does not care.

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The Teddy Bear (Accommodating)

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“Whatever you want is fine.”

When it works:▪ When the issues matter more to the other person.▪ When peace is a more favorable outcome than winning.▪ When you want to be in a position to ask for a favor later

over something you see as more important.

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“Whatever you want is fine.”

When it doesn’t work:▪ You may never get that favor you ask.▪ Peace may cost you position.▪ People may see you as unreliable when it comes to

standing up for them.

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The Shark (Competing)

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“My way or no way.”

When it works:▪ When there is an emergency and a decision needs to be

made in a hurry.▪ When the decision is unpopular but necessary.▪ When defending against someone who is trying to exploit

a situation for their own gain.

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“My way or no way.”

When it doesn’t work:▪ Can lead to increased conflict with other “sharks”.▪ Can injure relationships that may be necessary later on.▪ Can lead you to being seen as a tyrant, which could cut

you off from later negotiations.

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The Fox (Compromising)

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“Everybody gets something.”

When it works:▪ When the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing

ground.▪ Where both sides are of equal strength and have equally

important goals.▪ When there is a deadline looming.

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“Everybody gets something.”

When it doesn’t work:▪ May only be a temporary solution.▪ Neither side is totally satisfied.▪ Could be seen as taking the easy way out.

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The Wolf (Collaborating)

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“Everyone’s a winner.”

When it works:▪ Complex issues that need creative solutions.▪ When everyone understands the common goal and is

willing to work to achieve it.▪ When the situation is too important for a simple trade-off.

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“Everyone’s a winner.”

When it doesn’t work:▪ Requires a high degree of trust.▪ Can be extremely time consuming.▪ Can take a lot of effort keeping everyone focusing on the

same goal.

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Your Personal Style

All Styles Are Important!!!

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Interest-Based Relational Approach

Also known as the IBR.

Specifically designed for challenging negotiations or subjects.

Recognizes individual styles while helping people avoid becoming too fixed in a position.

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IBR Ground Rules

Good relationships are the first priority. Keep people and problems separate. Pay attention to the viewpoints being

presented. Listen first, talk second. Set out the facts. Explore options together.

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Step One: Set the Scene

If necessary, agree to the IBR approach. Create an understanding that conflict could be

mutual, and best dealt with through negotiation rather than aggression.

Emphasize your perception of the problem. Use active listening to understand their

perception. Restate, Paraphrase, Summarize

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Step Two: Gather Information

Try to get to the underlying concerns. Try to understand their motivations & goals,

and how your actions affect them. Try to understand the conflict in objective

terms. (Project, not people)

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Step Three: Agree on the Problem

Perspectives can be skewed by different interests or goals.

Try to agree on a common issue. Listen carefully to the other person to see

other angles on the issue.

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Step Four: BRAINSTORM!

Everyone should have the opportunity to contribute.

Be open to new ideas and solutions.

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Step Five: Negotiate a Solution

If you’re lucky, the conflict or issue may be resolved by now.

If not, use your TKI training to forge the solution.

Be Calm, Be Patient, Have Respect.

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Any Questions?

Thanks for playing!