Communication Excellence!

Dr. Paul L. Gerhardt The Organizational Doctor

Important Questions:

• Why is communication important in organizations?

• What are the steps in the communication process?

• How can I identify how to best get effective communication across?

• What is my preferred communication style?

• What tips for success can I come up with?

• What role does non-verbal communication play in the process?

• What are the barriers to effective communication?

• What are some techniques we can use to overcome these barriers?

• How to identify communication preferences• Navigating Conflict Successful

Today We Will Explore Communication:

Ego States—BerneCritical Parent—Control conversation, autocratic style, judgmental, opinionated, demanding, disapproving, disciplining

Sympathetic Parent—Protecting, permitting, consoling, caring, nurturing, consultative, participative

Natural Child—Curious, intimacy, fun, joyfulness, fantasy, impulsive (not very managerial)

Adapted Child—Rebelliousness, pouting, angry, fear, anxiety, inadequacy, procrastination, finger-pointing, aggressive.

Adult Ego—Gather information; rational thinking, calculating, factual, unemotional, cool, calm behavior

Sample Transactions

Complementary Behavior Sample (Child-Parent)• Employee (Child) “I just dropped the thing when I was almost done. Now I

have to do it all over again.” • Supervisor Response (Parent) “It happens to all of us; don’t worry about it.”

Complementary Behavior Sample (Adult-Adult)• Employee (Adult) “I’ll have it done before tow o’clock, no problem.”• Supervisor (Adult) “Please get this order ready for me by two o’clock.”

Crossed Transaction (Child-Child)• Employee (Child) “I just dropped the thing when I was almost done. Now I

have to do it all over again.” • Supervisor (Child) “You are so clumsy”

Crossed Transaction (Parent-Child)• Supervisor (Parent) “Please get this order ready for me by two o’clock.”• Employee (Child) “Why do I have to do it? Why don’t you do it yourself? I’m

busy.”

Applying Effective Criticism/Feedback

• Give more praise than criticism.• Criticize immediately.• Criticism should be performance-oriented.• Give specific and accurate criticism.• Open on a positive note and close by repeating

what action is needed.

Steps of Assertive Behavior

• Set an objective.• Determine how to create a win-win

situation.• Develop assertive phrases.• Implement your plan persistently.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

• The Habit of Interpersonal Leadership• A belief in the Third Alternative • It’s not your way or my way: it’s a better way• Balance courage and consideration in seeing

mutual benefit• Persist in looking for win-win outcomes

despite past win-lose conditioning

Think Win-Win

Steps to a Successful OutcomeRemember to breathe, stay centered, and monitor your emotions.

Step 1: Use a soft entry.Step 2: Introduce the problem or challenge from your perspective. If this is difficult for you - say so. If not, don’t.Step 3: Cultivate an attitude of inquiry, discovery and curiosity. Let them express their perspective - fully.Step 4: Acknowledge their perspective. Step 5: Problem-Solving. Now you’re ready to begin building solutions.

Brainstorming and continued inquiry are useful. Ask your opponent/partner what they think would work. Whatever they say, find something that you like and build on it (reframing).

If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to Step 3. Asking for the other’s point of view usually creates safety, and they’ll be more willing to engage.

MBTI Activity- Review1. Divide the team into Dominant groups:

S, N, T, and F2. Answer the following questions:

3. Discuss your answers with others in your group and record these answers on flipchart paper.

• What would you want to hear about first?• What would you need to hear about?• What could be left out?• What might offend you or cause you

to work against the policy?

If someone were trying to persuade you to support a policy in the workplace,

The Steps Involved in the Communication Process:

Ideating—developing an idea or message – information to be transmitted

Encoding—symbols, words, non verbal cues, pictures or diagrams

Transmitting—memos, letters, telephone, e-mail, policies, face-to-face verbal communication

Receiving—listening, reading, observingDecoding—translating a received transmission into an

interpreted meaningActing, the final step—the receiver has a choice at this

point to either ignore the transmission, save it for a later response, or do something else with it.

TRANSMITTING

RECEIVING

Oral message requires good listening skills

Written messages require attention to stated and implied meanings requires good listening skills

Communication Process

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.

~ Anthony Robbins

DECODING

Meaning cannot be transmitted

Receiver must translate to perceived or

interpreted meaning

BARRIERS can occur anywhere but most likely in DECODING

Non-Verbal Communication

KENESIS

PARALANGUAGE

Acquaintance with a purpose

Usually treat them as if they don’t exist

Must know them intimately Well acquainted

PROXEMICS(physical environment)

INTIMATE ZONEZero - two feet

PERSONAL ZONETwo – four feet

SOCIAL ZONEFour – twelve feet

PUBLIC ZONEMore than twelve feet

Barriers to Communication

Frames of Reference

Filtering

Structure

Information Overload

Semantics

Status Differences

ACTINGThe Final Step

in Communication Process

Can Ignore

Store for

Later

SENDER

Do Something Else With It

OR

Frames of ReferencePeople communicate differently due to:

• Learning• Culture• Experiences• If participants have a common frame of

reference, have effective communication• If frames of reference are different,

communication may be distorted

Can be intentional

FILTERING(can occur either direction)

OR unintentional

Managerswithhold negative

information

Errors in Encoding and

Decoding

Employees manipulate

information in order to avoid

the appearance of having a problem

Due to different frames of reference

Learning

Culture

Experience

Love Happiness

LiberalConservative

Abstract words may cause

decoding problems(semantics)

Computer Typewriter

BookOffice

Semantics

Different words have different

meaning to different people

Sender cannot transmit

understanding or meaning

Concrete words have little

difference from sender to receiver

Elements That Can Help With Overcoming Communication Barriers

• Repetition• Empathy• Understanding• Feedback• Listening

Guidelines for Effective Listening Stop talking. It is impossible to listen and talk at the same time. Listen for main ideas. Be sensitive to emotional deaf spots that make your mind wander. Fight off distractions. Take notes. Be patient. Let others tell their stories first. Empathize with other people’s points of view. Withhold judgment. React to the message, not the person. Appreciate the emotion behind the speaker’s words. Use feedback to check your understanding. Relax and put the sender at ease. Be attentive. Create positive listening environment. Ask questions.

Levels of Listening How can you tell when someone is listening to you at each of these levels?

Ignoring—Making no effort to listenPretend Listening—Making believe or giving the appearance you are listeningSelective Listening—Hearing only the parts of the conversation that interest youAttentive Listening—Paying attention and focusing on

what the speaker says and comparing that to your own experiences

Empathic Listening—Listening and responding with both the heart and mind to understand the speaker’s words, intent and feelings.

Empathy

Sender should put themselves in the receiver’s

shoes when composing the

message

The greater the gap in learning,

culture, and experiences, the

greater the effort must be

A technique to understand the receiver’s frame

of reference

“When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

Feedback is a must to ensure that messages have been understood and received and helps the sender and receiver obtain mutual understanding

Studies show that schools that use downward communication need effective upward communication to have effective communication

Feedback

Two-way communication takes more time but provides more satisfaction and is

recommended in all but the simplest and routine transmissions of information.

• How do you feel about my statement?• What do you think?• What did you hear me say?• Do you see any problems with what we

have talked about?

To solicit feedback, try these questions:

Suggestions Regarding Feedback

• Promote and cultivate feedback but don’t force it

• Reward those who provide feedback and use it

• When possible, go straight to the source and observe the results – don’t wait for feedback

• Give feedback to subordinates on the output of feedback received

Suggestions for Improving Listening Skills

• Stop talking • Put the talker at ease • Show the talker you want to

listen • Remove distractions • Empathize with the talker • Be patient • Hold your temper • Go easy on argument and

criticism • Stop talking

Thank you for your participation!