Communication and Confidence for Women

Communication & ConfidenceReal Futures Program

With Heidi Alexandra Pollard& Tina Moore

UQ POWER

Our world is speeding up

• Hyper-connectivity leading to increased screen time

• Accelerating pace of change leading to overwhelm

• Tailored convenience means we want it all and we want it now

Shift happens.

Despite all this change one constant has remained the same – the ability to influence, engage, inspire, relate and build rapport.

The ability to communicate

The One Constant

At the end of the day we have two choices.

Every action, thought and feeling is motivated by an intention and with every intention comes a reaction. What goes out ALWAYS comes back.

FEAR LOVE

Two Choices

Spotlight on USpotlight on UWhat’s your biggest What’s your biggest

communication challenge?communication challenge?When do you feel less When do you feel less

confident?confident?

Spotlight on USpotlight on UWhat skills would you like What skills would you like

to learn?to learn?How do you desire to be How do you desire to be

and feel?and feel?

EXPLORING YOUR SIGNATURE COMMUNICATION STRENGTHS

Understanding your individual communication style strengths and the effect it may have on others.

• No right or wrong scores, no style is better than another.

• One high score (4 pts or more) strong preference

• Two high scores (within 2 pts) may lead with

preferred style and can draw from others

• Three close scores will lead with a preferred

style, may have developed from experience

• Equal scores in all four styles highly

adaptable, may appear inconsistent to others

PSCI Scoring

THE DIRECTING STYLE

Liabilities• Impatient with those

working too slowly• Lone ranger• Can be judgmental• Tendency to dominate

others• Difficulty trusting others

with work• Need to be in control

causes frustrations

Strengths• Fast paced, quick

thinkers• Focus on action

and results• Decisive• Takes responsibility• Natural leaders• Visionary, big picture

Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.

THE PRESENTING STYLE

Liabilities• May not always be

taken seriously• Poor operational

follow through• Easily bored• May overpromise

and underdeliver• Would rather talk

than listen• Does not manage

time well


Strengths• Knows how to have fun

• Always up, energetic

• Communicates easily

• Motivates others

• Lots and lots of ideas

• Enjoys/prefers new projects

THE MEDIATING STYLE

Liabilities• Likes privacy, may be

difficult to get to know• Focuses on people issues

over business progress• Reluctant to correct

difficult people problems• Doesn’t like risk taking• Doesn’t care for surprises• May avoid centre stage

Strengths• Subtle, gentle, indirect

and inclusive• Good listener• Expert• Loved by everyone• Champion of others• Encourages others

through appreciation


Strengths• Likes people, not

large groups• Confident if facts

are known• Likes to give advice• Very thorough• Fair and unbiased• Enjoys structure

Liabilities• Difficult to stop pursuing

perfectness• Fear of mistakes creates

time consuming tasks• Tends to be critical• Worries a lot• Slow to embrace new

THE STRATEGIZING STYLE


Appreciating your style and others

1. The top three positive characteristics of our style are:

2. The three strengths we admire most in people with the opposite style are:

3. The strength of ours that drives others crazy is:

4. We feel most like ourselves comfortable and confident when:

5. We feel least like our style, out of our comfort zone when:

6. Our preference for handling conflict is:

7. Draw a poster to promote your style.

Understanding Energy

UQPower.com.au#StartWithU

Are You “Batteries Not Included”


AKA a “Drainer” of energy?


Are you “Batteries Included”?


AKA a “Giver” of Energy?


Feel this moment!


Feel this moment!


Getting in state – breathing, posture, voice.

Bio Break

Your personal presence

The best thing you can do to overcome any challenges is to #startwithU and to access and express your authentic powerful self.

This will allow you to be more confident even when you don’t know what the outcome will be.

Of course you can’t confuse arrogance with confidence.

“Arrogance and confidence get conflated but they are not the same things. Arrogance is a wall we put up when we feel threatened.”

“Arrogance is a smoke screen for insecurity. Arrogance is not appealing. It does not serve you.”

Confidence not arrogance

Being confident means being comfortable in yourself and that you don’t put up a smokescreen and you can be open to criticism. It’s when your words and body language match.

“Confidence is not a weapon, it’s a tool.

When you are confident you can be present without arrogance.”

Confidence not arrogance

Developing PresenceWe all know someone with presence when we see it. It’s that feeling you get when someone walks in poised and polished, with the presence of a leader. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi about how they carry themselves, which of course, seems effortless.

We all want it, but how do we get it?

Basically executive presence is comprised of three things:1.Communication: how you talk 2.Gravitas: how you act 3.Perceived identity: how you look

Communication

In recent weeks, there’s been a burst of media attention about women’s words, in particular the “sorrys,” “justs” and other undermining phrases that often show up in what women write and say. It’s a case of foot in mouth daily.

Instead you can communicate clearly and be more lieable by making personal connections, expressing appreciation for others – and showing a strong interest in their points of view.

Gravitas – Confidence Under Pressure

Many of our clients are great leaders, but when presenting in meetings with more senior or powerful people they freeze with anxiety. Their executive presence crashes and burns.

We work with them to then proactively implement a plan before they experience visible signs of stress.

A way to cope with the emotions as they came up in a way that doesn’t put them at a professional disadvantage.

Perceived Identity

Other clients we’ve worked with have impressive credentials, and experience but when they present at conferences, they’re not seen as an expert.

Why? Because they don’t look like one. Often it is that they need to review their look. It may be they need to look more polished, upbeat or sophisticated.

As research from Harvard Medical School proves, “People assess your competence and trustworthiness in a quarter of a second based solely on how you look.”

It’s not fair, but if you want to move forward in your career, you want to look the part so your ideas are the focal point, not your wardrobe. Sometimes you need to dress for the job you want.

https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.forbes.com%2Fsites%2Fleliagowland%2F2017%2F07%2F21%2Fthe-three-ways-people-judge-your-executive-presence-when-youre-a-woman%2F&text=%E2%80%9CPeople%20assess%20your%20competence%20and%20trustworthiness%20in%20a%20quarter%20of%20a%20second%20based%20solely%20on%20how%20you%20look.%E2%80%9D

Complimenting and Appreciating


3 compliments eg: physical, personality, attributes, achievements, abilities

Your Unique Power

Then nobody can touch you.


You do not need external power.

You will feel your unique power when your personality and your soul are in alignment.

The best version of yourself is to line up the little you or

your personality with the big U of your unique power.

Your Unique Power

#StartWithU

Your power is using the energy of your personality to serve your unique power.

When you are depressed, anxious, sad, frightened or uncomfortable that’s when you most need to call on your unique power.

That’s when you need to choose LOVE, the Universal human power.

Your Unique Power


What are your unique gifts? What are you good at?

Undertake the best of me exercise.

Our Differences

Some of the factors for our differences are..

Experiences Your Perception of Life

Beliefs Creativity

Genetics Body

Relationships Hobbies

Intelligence Emotional Intelligence

Senses Personality

Communication Habits Humour

Goals Intuition

Willingness to be yourself Consciousness

Moral Judgments Curiosity

I’m Alive!


LUNCH!

What kind of leader do you want to be?


The most powerful way to engage with and relate to others is to listen first and ask second.

Too many people spend too much time on what they want to TELL others rather than taking the time to stop, LISTEN and ASK.

Leaders Listen First

Extreme Listening Challenge

Stand in 2 circles one inside the other

•My life story…

•Ask 1 question then listen

A GAME OF FOCUS


•My life story…

•A passion I have outside of school is…


A GAME OF FOCUS


•My life story…

•A passion I have outside of study/work is…

•My favourite book / movie at the moment is…


A GAME OF FOCUS

- 7% of meaning is in the words that are spoken

-38% of meaning is paralinguistic – the way we say it

-55% of meaning is in body language & expression

WHY YOU MUST BECOME FLUENT IN A SECOND LANGUAGE

WITHOUT BODY POWER WITH BODY POWER

Lack of self esteem & confidence Feel confident even in challenging situations

Neglect own needs More assertive with needs

No ‘me time’ Say no when you need to

Out of touch with tangible feelings Radiate more energy

When you use your Unique Body Power you are

energetic and magnetic.

Body over mind power

You have to #startwithU by believing in U and your message. If you don’t believe, no one else will because your body will tell them so - every one can spot a phoney!

THE BODY NEVER LIES

The most powerful communication tool at your disposal is not your mouth, it’s your entire body.

What you wear. How you stand. How you walk. How you talk. It all matters!

Become fluent in body language as your second language and watch your results soar.

Use Your Whole Body

Understanding your body language and other physical queues is very important when you are communicating with others.

Your non-verbal communication skills are just as important as your verbal skills.

The most important thing to ensure is congruence – that your messages match your body, your dress, your energy.

Powerful Body Language

Strike a Pose!

Introduce yourself to someone:

Like it’s a waste of your time

Test It In Your Body


Like you really really want to impress them but are a phoney.

Change Your Body


Like they are your long lost best friend

Lead With Love

www.UQPower.com.au

“It’s important we get this right.

Things must change around here.”

Powerful Body Language


The body mind connection – shoot ‘em up, OK

Position 1 Position 2

The Power of A Collective


Diversity and inclusion – accepting and appreciating others.

FEAR forms around difference, it divides and separates us.

LOVE brings us together as brothers and sisters, we are all one human race.

The Power of a Circle of Women


Rock this party!


OUTCOMES and ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Education

Communication and Confidence for Women