COMMUNICATION

Tannen’s TheoryTransactional Analysis

Rules of Communication

Gendered Communication

• Gender differences indicate how we can each adjust to create better communication

• Same sex groups • Misunderstandings arise when

gender differences are not considered

Deborah Tannen’s Theory

• Males & females use communication for different purposes

• Learned in the childhood gender world• Differences indicate how we can each

adjust to create better communication• Most communications come from not

understanding the reason for communication

Uses of Communication• Intimacy vs Independence• Framing

– alignment– hierarchical vs equal

• Asymmetries– Rapport vs Report Talk– Understanding vs Fixing– Asking for directions

More Tannen…

• Intimacy and Connection

vs Status and Independence

• Framing Differences

–Symmetry vs Asymmetry• Alignment of the speaker

• Hierarchical vs Equal

More Tannen…

• Rapport vs Report Talk

• Understanding vs Fixing

Rules for Better Communication

• When your buttons are pushed, there is something within you that needs to be recognized and worked through

• Relationships give us the opportunity for growth, intimacy and consciousness

More Rules for Better Communication

• Be mindful of the “right” time to discuss your feelings; schedule a time

• Phrase your feelings with “I” statements

• Words carry power (Dr. Emoto)

Transactional Analysis

• Parent/Adult/Child– Parent: Authoritarian voice, dictatorial– Adult: Equality; informative– Child: Needs approval, playful

• Analyze whether your interactions are crossed or aligned

• Adult/adult transactions are best