of deaf and hard of hearing

children

Joanna Kosmalowa

Collaboration with parents

General assumptions

Parents of deaf and hard of hearing children love their children and want for them all the best. If they lose the way – they do it by incident and they are unconscious of doing so.

After the diagnosis the parents are those who are in crisis, not the children; their life has changed irrevocably and they need support and therapeutic help.

Despite your profession, keep in mind that your role is to help and support the parents.

What do you have to know about the grief?

There are certain stages in people’s reaction to crisis: shock, recognition, denial, acknowledgement, and – finally constructive action.

In some ways the response cycle isa cleansing process.

First - try to understand the emotional state

Observe your clients and make it clear where the parents are in the response cycle.

Accept the parents – who they are and how they cope with their problems. Be aware that all their feelings are natural, useful, and above all necessary.

Second – you are a professional

Parents do not know many things you are well aware of.

The children are deaf or hard of hearing but their parents can be „mute” and totally confused. It is possible – they have lost their competence to raise their children.

You are the one prepared to cope with this / you have to be.

Do not only act but communicate Explain what are you doing and the

purpose. Inform openly what are your expectations

of parents. Set goals, for parents but also for yourself.

Do it in colaboration with parents. The language you use should be as simple

as possible. Check whether you are well understood.

How to act?

From time to time stop talking. Focus on listening, it can be more effective and helpful than instructing, much more – than admonishing.

Work on positive attitude towards parents.The more positive your expectations will be,the more likely you will get positive response from the parents and the children.

Helping parents

Parents need your full support before

specialists

start working with their child.

Parents need help that accompanies

their child’s therapy.

What is the essence of parents counselling and guidance?

Parents need to find their own way

for developing the family life.Also how to meet the individual needs

of each family member.

Family Problems

Who works with children?

Fathers needed Family in the

community Hearing children

A helper is somebody who ....

Can listen to parents Feels empathy Is conscious of his own feelings

and willing to express them Accepts parents despite

their needs and expectations Gives positive reinfoircements

A helper is somebody who ....

Understands family problems Is a source of knowledge Is sensitive; recognises and helps to recognise

individual problems of the family Models parents’ behaviours Helps parents think in a realistic way

Evaluation? – Yes

Do not criticize. Do not judge.

Appreciate!

Think about yourself

• You as a helper are equally important

• Be aware of your possibilities

• Set the limits

• Communicate

in a constructive way

At the beginning of the family therapy

3 – 5 „obligatory” meetings with a psychologist

who is a therapist as well

in the group – 2-3 families

individual meetings – 1 family

Psychotherapy

Teaching parents

(psychological education)

normal development and normal psychological patterns

controlling human’s behaviour

self cognition and getting to know others

mechanisms of human actions

means of coping with various problems

supporting child’s development.

Psychoeducation means education

concerning

How can parents accept themselves How to believe in ones own capabilities How to perceive and express feelings, especially when the

feelings are difficult to cope with How to establish the parent – child relation How to communicate

What do we educate parents in?

„Cold knowledge” aquired intelectually to a much lesser degree influences the real

behaviour of a person than so called „hot knowledge” based on one’s own experience.

A very effective form of non-professional

counselling

30 – 40 meetings of support group for parents (a 1 year program)

should be the foundation of the therapy system for parents with

hearing impaired children

Support group for parents

What counts is not doing a lot

but putting a lot of love in what we do.

Mother Teresa from Calcutta

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION