98
WELCOME Co-coaching programme with STEWART LANE

Coaching day1

  • Upload
    swwl

  • View
    45

  • Download
    0

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

WELCOMECo-coaching programme

with

STEWART LANE

AgendaTiming Activity

09.30 Welcome and introduction to programme, house keeping Aims & objectives

09.40 Participant introduction, your expectations, group contract

10.10 What coaching is/ isn’t

10.35 Cognitive behavioural model. RAS - activities

11.15 Break

11.30 Setting boundaries, starting a coaching relationship, Power of Positive thinking, Affirmations, Wheel of life/ Values, Process of Change

13.00 Lunch

13.45 Effective questioning, critical factors, rehearsal for the future

14.30 Future focus, Well formed outcomes

15.15 Break

15.30 Action plan, Quantum Leap, Letter from the future, Critical factors

16.35 Questions, evening assignment, review of the day

17.00 Close

This coaching programme has been designed to provide you with comprehensive coaching tools and methodologies to assist you in your role and compliment its non-coaching aspects.

Learning Coaching tools, techniques and methodologies

A clear understanding of what motivates and what de-motivatesYour own personal experience of coaching and being coached Understanding the process of change and what causes resistance

to change Practising tools and techniques

Course Objectives:

Aims of the Co-Coaching programme

To be experiential training

You learn tools which can be applied both personally and professionally. You undergo the coaching process in order to understand the process

for others You get a clear understanding of the process of successful change,

why we have set backs and why we sabotage ourselves

How the programme will run

We will be working together over the next 3 months. In that time, you

will be asked to pursue a personal project and select a number of

Personal goals that you will explore in a coaching relationship with a

co-coaching partner.

You will be updating me with your progress during that time. You will be asked

to email me at the end of each week with a progress report on your own

personal project. You can email me anytime with queries regarding coaching

practice or tools and use the coaching tips and queries forum on my website

The Co-coaching programme

3 months total:Initial 2 days coaching tools and methodologies training

Co-coaching partnerships of pairs or triadsSetting own goals to raise levels of personal motivation, understand resistance to change and ways of moving forwardPracticing coaching tools & methodologiesTrainer support6 week period

Day 3 review co-coaching, tools and methodologies Learn some new tools and techniques Review own goals, strengthen co-coaching relationships

Continue co-coaching partnerships of pairs or triadsPracticing coaching tools & methodologiesTrainer support6 week period

Day 4 review co-coaching, tools and methodologiesLearn some new tools and techniquesCase studies/ apply tools

End of programme

Introductions: Who’s In The Room?

•Your name

•Some background regarding

your role

• Expectations - what I want

from this programme

How would you like to work together?

Confidentiality - Chatham House rules

Mobile phones off/ on silent

Honesty

Commitment to the programme and process

Flexibility

Time Keeping - not keeping others waiting

Listening

Respect

Non Judgmental

So what is coaching?

“Coaching focuses on future possibilities, not past mistakes”

“Unlocking a person's potential to maximise their own performance, helping them to learn rather than

teaching them”

Gallwey, 2000

What coaching isn’t:

Giving advice A sounding board Teaching “do it like this” An inspirational person that a coachee could aspire to – role model Unpacking why people have certain patterns of behaviour Offering a shoulder to cry on – sympathy & empathy Buying into the coachee’s story Judging and being critical Providing your solutions or ideas

So what is coaching?

Discuss your ideas of what you think coaching is What might coaching involve? What might constitute good practice for a coach? What are the desired attitudes and behaviours of a good coach? What kind of relationship would a coach establish with a client?

In two groups:

Select one person in the group to act as scribe andRecord your views on flipchart paper

Coaching is:

Skills & techniques that ensure coachee refines own performance and ideas Facilitation and problem solving - provides clever structures Quality plans and actions Providing perspective and feedback Delivering techniques and learning Providing inputs for new ways of doing things Ensuring new skills are practically embedded (repetition) Enable coachee to review issues quickly and thoroughly to resolution Enabling insights into fixed-pattern behaviours and motivations Unlocks new tactics, shuts down bad ones that are not serving coachee

Coaching also:

Creates new energy and passion for the chosen goal

is Solution focused and empowering

Creates vision, mission and objectives

helps Coachee be absolutely clear where she/he wants to go and what the steps are to get there

means Believing in your coachee’s potential

means Speaking the coachee’s language and providing metaphors and analogies that the coachee can identify with

Why coaching?

Increases ownership and accountability

Solutions focussed

Focuses on clear goals

Builds capability and commitment

Supports sustainability

Coaching: critical skills

Knowing what you are there to do – the goal

Working with what is being said

Asking great questions

Listening to the whole person

Being fully present

Understanding

Probing

Summarising

Qualities for coaching:

Non judgemental

Boundary setting Committed Walking the talk Not drawn into the story Impartial and detached Focused Identifying Supporting and reviewing small achievable steps towards

a greater goal

Coaching: traps to avoid

Agreeing and commenting on everything that is said

Giving advice based on your experience

Looking for solutions, not listening

Thinking too far ahead – the next question but one

Rushing through current reality

Not being there for the coachee

Not using this opportunity to try something new

Coaching: do you agree?

The Client always knows best

From day one, we are saying good-bye to our client

Be prepared to practice what you preach and ‘walk the talk’

Worrying about your client and becoming emotionally attached to their predicament/circumstances does not help them, produce faster results or speed up the process.

The intention of coaching is to pass on the tools to the client, who gradually becomes ‘self-coaching’

Always work from the client’s ‘bigger picture’ of what they want in life and what is important to them – never assume you know what this is!

Set backs are part of the change process

CO-COACHING

20

TOOL 1

A cognitive approach

How does change work?

“Change is a two part process.

Unlearning one pattern/old-self habit and replacing it with

a new one”

CORE BELIEFS

DESIRES

What you Believe aboutYourself and lifeHow you expect Things to turn out

Largely formed at a very young ageBased on the behaviours & beliefs of those nearest you and with the greatest influence upon youReactions & responses to experiences & opportunitiesHow you see the world: Glass half full/ glass half empty etc

Assumptions

DESIRES

Typical assumptions might be: This is going to be hard or difficult I can do anything I want Meeting new people is fun Meeting new people is stressful

CORE BELIEFS

AssumptionsMay be Positive orNegative depending On yourCore beliefs

Assumptions are informed by our Core Beliefs. Our Assumptions determine our attitudes towards and expectations of people/events/things/situations. They may also trigger emotions and feelings, such as joy and excitement or fear and anxiety.

Automatic Thoughts

DESIRES

What you think beforeYou’ve even thought about it.

ReactiveThinking

Tells you what your core beliefs are about:YourselfOther peopleYour reactions & responsesAlso known as ‘self-talk’, the ‘internal critic’ & the ‘internal saboteur’

CORE BELIEFS

Assumptions

Automatic Thoughts

DESIRESCORE

BELIEFS

Assumptions

Thoughts & Feelings

RepeatedOften enough,These becomeautomatic

Automatic Thoughts

DESIRES

CORE BELIEFS

Assumptions

Thoughts & Feelings

Actions & Behaviours

RepeatedOften enough,These becomeAutomatic too

Automatic Thoughts

DESIRESCORE BELIEFS

Assumptions

Thoughts & Feelings

Actions & Behaviours

TheBlackHole

Where allthe evidence thatwe are capable, talented, unique,deserving of love and respectDisappears!

TheBlackHole

What do you typically think and feel when someone offers you praise?

What do you typically think and feel when someone criticizes you?

When was the last time you lost sleep because someone praised you?

LIMITING BELIEFS

Limiting beliefs stem from doubts, fears and anxieties that we have accrued over the course of our lives. They might be ideas about ourselves or the world that we picked up from those around us as we were growing up.

They can also be a result of positive experiences we have had, or negative ones such as being constantly criticised.

After a time we start to believe them and they affect our decisions about our own potential and what we believe is possible.

Automatic Thoughts

DESIRE

What?

CORE BELIEFS

Assumptions

Thoughts & Feelings

Actions & Behaviours

TheBlackHole

ACTIVITY

In pairs:Ask your partner to share an importantHope or desire

Using the cognitiveBehavioural model,Ask questions in sequence

Do not offer any advice or supply Ideas of your own

What are your core beliefs?I can/ can’t achieve anythingI want

What are your assumptions?This will be easy or difficult to accomplish

What are your automaticthoughts?Positive or negative?Affirming or criticising?

What are yourthoughts & feelings ?Excited or apprehensive?Planning strategies orContingencies?

What are you most likely to do? Make a plan? Do nothing?

Have you experienced thinking any of the following statements, or similar this morning?

I don’t like some of my clients Some clients definitely don’t know best!I don’t need to experience coaching myself – my life isn’t a messI haven’t got any spare time to do a ‘personal project’What have I got myself into? I feel some of my clients won’t like me if I’m ‘detached’ I would have preferred to have been partnered with somebody else for the last activity

Have you experienced thinking any of the following statements, or similar this morning?

I don’t like some of my clients Some clients definitely don’t know best!I don’t need to experience coaching myself –my life isn’t a messI haven’t got any spare time to do a ‘personal project’What have I got myself into? I feel some of my clients won’t like me if I’m ‘detached’ I would have preferred to have been partnered with somebody else for the last activity

What are these

statements?

Neural science tells us that

when we know what we are

wanting, the brain will start to look for

connections and pathways towards making it happen - unless our thinking

Or beliefs block it

The mind and body function together. Your senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch) deliver data constantly to your brain. Your brain then Processes and communicates this information back to you viayour electro chemical nervous system.

The pineal gland is part of the endocrine system which produces and regulates Hormones such as Serotonin, Dopamine and Melatonin. The hormonal system tells us how we feel, determining a variety of moods.

Exercise is known to increase our levels of serotonin. Higher levels of serotonin are linked to positive frame of mind, motivation, Alertness and better performance. Changes in behaviour cause serotonin levels to change. Professional Athletes understand this relationship and that their negative thoughts cause their brain to secrete chemicals that immediately impair their performance.

Mind and Body

The body links directly with your thoughts and tries to align itself with your mental image. Harmony between the twois established when the belief systems of the mind are

Positive Affirming Curious Flexible Open to creative flowIn tune with and responsive to the needs of the body focused in the present momentAware of the breath andLoving.

Mind and Body - 2

When the mind is

Stressed FearfulInflexible, Low in self-esteemfocused only in the past or future non life affirming and timid of new experiencethe connection with the body becomes fragmented anddisharmonious. Maintained over an extended period of time and both mental and physical functions become compromised.

Mind and Body - 3

Our bodies are gravitationally organised energy patterns of information. Everything, including our thoughts radiate energy, which we ‘read’ about one another.

Our emotions are cells communicating with cells through circuitry

All our feelings are chemicals driven by the adrenal system.

Negative feelings long term knock the body out of balance.

Your personality creates your personal reality.

Thoughts and behaviour patterns are connected by synapticSequences fired by the brain. Repeated, they quickly become‘automatic’.

Mind and Body - 4

If you keep doing the same thing, your brain fires in the same sequences, and by keeping your external environment the same, it activates the same circuitry in your brain

Mind and Body - 5

To make the change, you have to live as if you are already experiencing what you want. If youcan live as if what you want has already happened, your brain starts to fire in new sequences.

Your brain loves New Experiences. These change your internal chemistry and re-programmes you neuro-chemically.

“Without surprises and new experiences, most people fall into neuro-chemical oblivion”. Dr J Dispenza - neuro scientist

Wishing has no effect on the brain!!

The trick is to get your behaviours to match your intentions.

Mind and Body -6

The Reticular Activating System

40

Every thought you think has its own neural pathway across the brain and every new thought creates its own unique pathway.

• Your reticular activating system (RAS) is a filter which decides which sensory data (collected by your senses and sent to your brain) should be brought to the attention of your conscious mind. It does this by listening to

− Your internal dialogue

− Your conversations with others

Your Reticular Activating System:

41

− Filters out what doesn’t interest you

− Even if the information is important

• A person who spends time focusing on what they don’t like or don’t want is programming their RAS to notice and direct them towards exactly that!

• A good example of how the RAS works: if

you’ve just bought a particular make of car,

you’ll start to notice that make or colour everywhere!

Your brain has two hemispheres which function separately from one another. They communicate via the corpus callosum.

LEFTBRAIN

Thinks ‘Me’Thinks in languageLearns conceptuallyFocused in past or futureMethodicalAnalyticalPractical Polarity consciousness

RIGHTBRAIN

Thinks ‘We’Thinks visuallyLearns kinestheticallyFocused in the presentFeels connected to theWholeCreative Abstract Unity consciousness

QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor

are needed to see this picture.

Each hemisphere responds to different types of stimuli.

LEFTBRAIN

Fight or flightVery loud/ fast musicPast and futureHow and why?StressPlanning SolutionsPracticalitiesAdverts/ news

RIGHTBRAIN

QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor

are needed to see this picture.

Lower diaphragm breathingCreative pursuitsNatureArtCalming musicTactile/ feelingMeditationConnection

Which part of the brain do you think we should focus on most?

LEFTBRAIN

RIGHTBRAIN

QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor

are needed to see this picture.

Ideas

Dreams

Aspirations

Beliefs

Goals

Creating the Vision

Helping others to see a World of greater possibility

This is particularly relevant when we are embracing change.

Typically we find change scary because we can’t “see” how it can be done -

This doesn’t mean that we are right, only that we haven’t prepared the brain

to embrace the change by having a full vision of what the end result will

look like and most importantly how it will feel. The brain needs to be

“programmed” using the RAS to look out for pathways to new objectives.

Linking steps

or stages

Activity : Group discussion

46

− How will this information benefit you in

your work with your clients?

− What might be the connection between your reticular activating system and automatic thoughts?

• What attitudes and behaviours do coaches need to cultivate in themselves and try to foster in their clients?

BREAK

CO-COACHING

48

Coaching tool 2

Coachability index

Coachability Index

Using the client coachability index handout, work in pairs and consider your current clients in relation to the list. Are they coachable? Where are they not indicating they are open to coaching?

Coachability index 2

Take a few minutes to read through the list again Remember that this course requires you to

give and receive coaching from a colleague and

Set some personal goals for the next 3 months.

How open are you to receiving coaching?

How would you rate your own willingness to

under go change?

Are you happy to do something that you expect

your clients to do?

CO-COACHING

51

Coaching tips

Setting up a coaching relationship

Setting up a coaching relationship 1

Make sure you have:

Assessed coachee’s level of coachability

Read any relevant background information on coacheeFully familiarised yourself with coaching diagnostic methodologiesAll necessary paperwork that you may need coachee to complete

during session

Setting up a coaching relationship 2

Remember to be aware of your own mood before you start a session. What personal feelings do you have? Check in with yourself.

Your commitment as coach is to support the coachee towards their chosen aims and objectives. It is important to understand the process of coaching and not to become attached to the outcome of the session.

Setting up a coaching relationship 3Focus on the coachee:

Listen, read, ask

Don’t be over eager or hectoring Be aware of your client’s ‘story’. Have water available to drink Ensure the atmosphere of the room is relaxed Ensure the space is appropriate. Be aware of any relevant background information on coachee Be sensitive to the client’s mood Be alert to how you might generate new possibilities for your client

Setting up a coaching relationship 4Facilitating the session:

You are there to help your client gain insight and motivation, and make a commitment to action.

Help your client determine their ‘bigger picture’ from the outset

Remember not to appear judgmental; there are no right or wrong answers in a coaching session.Once you have a picture of your client by reviewing their completed forms, using the information establish a reference point with your coachee, for example; a goal or aspiration they wish to pursue, a skill they might wish to acquire, a situation they might wish to change

Use the coaching tools

End each session with a summary. Also review client’s progress to date. Focus on the positive. Be aware of your client’s mood; are they engaged? Do you think they are likely to attend their next session?

CO-COACHING

56

Coaching tips

Setting Boundaries

Tips for setting boundaries 1Facilitating the session:

Check your own feelings/stress levels/ emotions before you start your meeting

Be friendly but firm from the start by outlining what you can achieve together

Stick to the time set for your meetings and don’t overrun Always be on time, avoid cancelling and make it clear you expect your client to do the same.

Keep the focus around the purpose of the relationship Get to know your client’s BIGGER PICTURE!

Tips for setting boundaries 2Facilitating the session:

Always identify a client’s ‘bigger picture’ first Make a clear distinction about when you are ‘coaching’ the client at the start of the relationship and try not to confuse the session.

Resist the temptation to leap in with your own suggestions or offer advice and guidance before you are absolutely clear you know What Matters Most to your client and what their priorities and objectives are.

After a few weeks you should be able to ‘blend’ all aspects of your role seamlessly throughout any session. Even when offering advice and guidance, always make sure that the goals/objectives are client led and that the client can see how it fits into their ‘bigger picture’. The client needs to be assured that you are working with them from the same perspective and not forcing them into things to meet your own agenda Set up the coaching aspect of the relationship first – this way the client will understand that the onus for ‘undertaking steps’ is on them, not on you.

Tips for setting boundaries 3 Facilitating the session:

The purpose of coaching is to encourage client’s self-reliance and confidence to achieve their goals and objectives by their own efforts and to acknowledge each achievement as an important landmark.

Advice and guidance should always and only be given in the spirit of positivity and as a step/s towards achieving a client’s stated goals. Advice and guidance should never be given as a form of threat (e.g: if you don’t do this, you wont get that), as a power trip to manipulate a client into agreeing with you, or as a way of disparaging their ‘bigger picture’

(e.g: “I don’t think your ambition to become an actor is very realistic,

or will help you pay the rent, do you?”)

CO-COACHING

60

TOOL 3

The Power of Positive Thinking

&

Affirmations

Positive thinking 1

Make a list of things you like about yourself Focus on your qualities Try and list at least 30 You have two minutes

Positive thinking 2

Make a list of things you don’t like about yourself Focus on characteristics Try and list at least 30You have one minute

Positive thinking 3

Affirmations

I can do anything I set my mind to I can get the support I need I am capable of success I can make changes that benefit me and achieve my goals All is well

These are positive declarations, or mantras. They can be written, or memorised and ‘repeated’ regularly.

They should be Positive, Present Tense, and Personal. Use words that are meaningful and evoke emotion and action for the client.

Examples:

Positive thinking 4

Work in pairs: one person to share their lists, one to coach Help your coachee increase their list to at least 30 Help your coachee develop some positive affirmations Get your coachee to write them down Get them to give you feedback on the affirmations -

Do they affect how your coachee now feels? You have about 7 minutes

Facilitator will tell you when to swap roles

CO-COACHING

65

TOOL 4

The Wheel Of Life

&

Values

Wheel Of Life....

Satisfaction rating

1. Individually, consider each section of the wheel from your personal point of view. What is your level of satisfaction?

2. Fill in each segment to reflect your level of satisfaction. A low level is indicated by filling in only a small portion. i.e: Friends and social life in this example•

Health

Finances

Creative/ spirituallifePersonal

relationships

Work/Career

Family/ extended

family

Friends and Social life

Process

3. A high level is indicated by

filling in a larger portion.

i.e: Finances in this example•

Select the TEN headings that have most significance for you from the above list.

Ring around each word and place it in order of importance to you, giving the highest score as 1 and the lowest score as 10. i.e. Money – 1, Happiness – 2, Trust – 3, Humour – 4, Success – 5, Travel – 6, Honesty – 7, Freedom – 8, Compassion – 9, Kindness – 10.

Intimacy Love Partnership Respect Excitement Security Success

Understanding Health Freedom Humour Happiness Power Money

Compassion Adventure Kindness Travel Passion Honesty Trust Children Independence Integrity Achievements Personal Growth

Values

WOL identifies areas of high and low satisfaction You can ask the questions: how would it feel if this section of low satisfaction was high instead? What can you do to increase your level of satisfaction? Explore with coachee alignment of values with levels of satisfaction on WOL. Where do they match? Where do they not match? Complete a new WOL every few months and explore with coachee what has changed.

Wheel of life and Values tool

CO-COACHING

69

Coaching tips

The Process for Supported Change

Political

Emotional

Rational

Coaching - The process for supported change

Most people understand the case and need for change

They are likely to

• Have already considered the rational and political case or need

• Under-estimated or failed to acknowledge the emotional considerations

Copyright circle indigo

Clear vision/ understandingCase for changePlan of activitiesAgreed way forward

Perceived statusRecognitionInfluenceControlPatronage

WorthSelf esteemRelationshipsSupportPersonal beliefs

During the Change process we experience the emotional curve.

Enthusiasm Discover Deepen Develop Action Sustain

Lose enthusiasm No Action Feel

a Failure

How might you deepen your client’s understanding of what is involved?How can they develop a way forward? What will help them sustain their how they are being or what they are doing?

Emotional Curve What determines a positive or negative

outcome?

Activity : in two groups

72

Each group must determine the emotional curve of finding/ getting a new home/ Job.− Group 1 will look at

finding the home or job

− Group 2 will look at moving in

− Or starting the new job

• (10 mins + 5 mins feedback in plenary)

LUNCH

CO-COACHING

74

Coaching tips

Developing Effective questioning techniques

Effective questions

Important: your questions need to be open and sometimes penetrating; always get permission from client and check they are willing to explore the area which may be causing them difficulty. Gain their permission to have an open conversation and look at possible ways of tackling the issue/situation.

Remember: your approach should be client led. It is important that the client provides the lead in finding ways forward.

Your role is to help the client test their theories, to ensure they believe in them and test their willingness to create actions and steps, and commit to taking them.

Effective questions

First steps: Clarify what the issue is. Establish the cost to the client of tackling the issue/making changes Establish the pay-offs of not tackling the issue/making changes Establish the benefits that may result from tackling the issue/making changes

Next Check what the expectation is on taking action (i.e. it always goes wrong etc) Look out for your client’s ‘story’ - what is their RAS noticing? Explore what the new possibility might be Identify actions for change

Agree to actions and time frame in which to complete them

Effective questions

What’s on your mind?What is going on for you?What would you like by the end of this conversation?How are you feeling about…?What worked/didn’t work?Why do you think that is?What does that get you?What does that cost you?What would an alternative be?Whose choice is that?Can you describe how that feels for you?How would you say you are being when…?What happens when…?What do you say to yourself when…?What do you make that mean?

Types of questions

Activity : in small groupsConstruct coaching questions around the following:

78

Rational-Clear vision/ understanding – does your client have a clear overall vision for their life and understanding of how their goals fit in with it?-Case For Change – does your client understand why they need to change certain beliefs / behaviours?-Plan of Activities – have you and your client set out a range of activities to support them (practical/social/healthy living?)-Agreed Way Forward – Have you an your client agreed what the next series of steps are? Is this what the client wants, or what you want?

Political-Perceived status – How does your client see themselves (i.e.: Homeless person/ employee/ individual)?-Recognition – Are they giving recognition to themselves for the progress they are making? Are they attracting recognition from others?-Influence – Who has the greatest influence on their life style and decision making at the moment? -Control – Does your client feel in control of the changes they are trying to make?-Patronage – Who is currently supporting them in the steps towards their new life style/choices?

Emotional-Worth – What does your client currently consider their worth to be (i.e.: useful contributor/ non useful)-Self Esteem – What would you assess their current level of self-esteem to be – is this sustainable?-Relationships – Do their personal and professional relationships support their current aspirations?-Support – Who is the most reliable support for them right now?-Personal beliefs – Would you say they typically use positive language when describing either themselves or their ability to achieve their goals and aspirations?

What makes an inappropriate question and why?What makes an appropriate question and why?

CO-COACHING

79

Tool 5

Rehearsal for the Future

CO-COACHING

80

Tool 6

Future Focus

Ascertaining your client’s ‘Bigger Picture’ or ‘What matters most’

Future aspirations

Steps to the

future

Past achievements Presen

t

Your vision for yourself and your life

What have you done that you are proud of?

Things you could be doing now to help you achieve your vision

What you currently have to build on – things, people or achievements that can support you in attaining your goals

Me at the

centre

81

Give as much information as possible. Use words or pictures

CO-COACHING

82

Tool 7

Well-formed Outcomes

Well Formed Outcomes

In triads - one person to coach, one to be the coachee, one to observe

Coach: ask your coachee to briefly talk you through their future focus map and then ask them to identify one important goal from it that they would like to achieve.

Then ask the following questions:

State in the positive; what do you want? When, where and with whom do you want this? What will you hear, see and feel when you achieve this outcome? Are you in charge of the changes you require Will you lose anything if you achieve this outcome? Is the outcome worth what it takes to get it? What are the consequences in your life if the goal is achieved?

BREAK

CO-COACHING

85

Coaching tips

Action Plan

key ideas and personal actions to take away from today

Key themes from the session

• ;d

Personal Action PlanWhat

When

Client writes outOwn action plan

CO-COACHING

87

Coaching tips

Quantum Leap

Where

You want to be

Creating the Vision

Quantum Leap

Small steps

Action

Where

You are

Hectic

Lots going on

New experiences &

Opportunities

Networking

New people

Action

Can cope

Can’t cope

Small steps

Life style choicesRelationshipFamilyMoneyHomeCareerCarHolidays

Support needed here -

‘You can do it’ NOT Opinions

Limited choicesBoredNo MoneyNo HomeNo Job

Identify support here

CO-COACHING

89

Tool 8

Letter from the future

Letter from the future:

Write a letter to yourself. Set it in the future; in 3 year’s time. Write it in the present tense – as though you are experiencing it now. Give a detailed description of how you would like your life to be in 3 years time. Make sure it is desirable, challenging, precise and based on what you truly want rather than what you’ve convinced your self is possible. As you are writing, notice how you feel. Try and write at least one side of A4 paperThen consider:

How real is it? How tangible?Do you believe it? How do you feel having written it?

CO-COACHING

91

Tool 9

Critical Factors

Critical Factors:

In pairs - taking turns in coach/ coachee role

Briefly review coachee’s letterAsk coachee to identify ONE key goal that they could start working towards NOWThen take your coachee through the critical factors questionnaire

What do you say to your self when things go well?

What do you say to your self when things go badly? What do you think about on the day, hour, minute before a challenging task? How do your thoughts differ between good and bad days? What events/occurrences cause you to feel stressed ? In what circumstances/surroundings do you feel undermined? What skills/tasks do you find most difficult to do well? How do you receive criticism/advice and guidance? How do you give criticism/advice and guidance? Do you always finish the things you start? Are you good at thinking up ways of doing things? Are you more interested in the ongoing progress of a project and details than end results? Are you more interested in getting to the desired outcome as quickly as possible? Do you tend to play a supporting role to others? Is this sometimes to your own detriment?

CO-COACHING

93

Evening Assignment

Evening Assignment:

Choose one thing that you know you have been putting off doing;Calling a friend or relative, doing some research, spending quality time with friends or family, doing something creative or necessary!

Share with one other person what you intend to do Why did they make that particular choice? Challenge the choice - is it really going to make any difference? What difference will it make? Try and get a commitment from your coachee that they will

complete the task and report back tomorrow morning.

Evening Assignment:

Read through materials and consider your aspirational self:

What would my aspirational self think? What would my aspirational self feel? What would my aspirational self say? What would my aspirational self do? What would my aspirational self wear?

Final word on commitment:

Commitment is the essential part of seeing changes through.The commitment must always be to yourself; who you are in fact committing to is your future self. You will be the beneficiary of what you do now.

Options:Explore with client what they are most likely to experience if they do not make change (i.e. the same – if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!)Next explore with client what they might experience if they follow through their new possibility.

Review of the day

What went well? Even better if?

Have a great evening

9.30 start tomorrow