Chapter 17

Let’s Get Married

FOCUSThis presentation will teach you about the types of Roman marriages as well as the various marriage ceremonies, including the most elaborate one .... the confarreatio. It will also you teach you about the elaborate preparations couples and brides undertook before their wedding day. Lastly you learn about Roman divorce.

The Law Says:•Consent of both families was a legal requirement•Neither the bride nor groom could already be married•The bride and groom could not be too closely related

•Marriage between classes (patrician and plebeian) was forbidden, until 445 BC. •Augustus made it possible for freedmen and women to marry each other•The laws were mostly concerned with the legitimacy of any resulting children

Ages:•Puberty was the standard age for marriage–for males that was 14 –for females that was 12–both tended to be much older, especially males

Types of Marriage•In manu: The bride’s father remained her paterfamilias.•Sine manu: Paterfamilias was given to the groom’s family

•Usus: Like a ‘common law’ marriage in modern times; all that is required is the man and woman living together with the intention of forming a lasting relationship•Coemptio: A ceremony where the groom symbolically bought the bride by placing a coin on a scale.

•Confarreatio: A ceremony where the bride and groom shared a cake. This ceremony was restrictive and thus excluded most people. Some priests however had to be married this way in order to be a priest.

Engagement Party

A bride’s family might host a sponsalia or an engagement party where the formal betrothal was made in front of witnesses. At this party the father would promise his daughter to the future groom and the future groom might present the bride to be with gifts such as a ring. The ring could be made entirely of gold or made of iron set in gold.

Before the Big Day•The unlucky days in the calendar were avoided and several Romans choose the latter half of June for their wedding date. (June was the month of Juno the goddess of marriage.)

•The night before the wedding the bride dedicated her bulla and toys to her Lares.

•She then slept that night in a wool tunic woven in one piece called the tunica recta.

The Big Day•The bride was dressed by her mother and placed a white woolen belt tied in a special knot. It was the nodus Herculeus (knot of Hercules), another protector of marriage, and only her husband could untie the knot. •Her hair was divided into 6 parts with a spear. Each was adorned with woolen ribbons and she also wore a crown of flower she had gathered herself. •She wore saffron colored veil, a flammeum, and shoes.•The guests came to the house of the bride’s family and the auspices were taken and

an animal, typically a ewe or a sow, was sacrificed. This animal was eaten during the feast that happened right after the wedding ceremony.

The Ceremonies

•usus: the bride and groom joined hands in front of 10 witnesses.

•coemptio: the groom ‘bought’ the bride by placing a coin on a scale in front of 5 witnesses.

Another Ceremony•confarreatio was a more formal and elaborate affair Officiants:–the Pontifex Maimius (head priest) –the flamen dialis (priest of Jupiter) were present

Bridal Attendants–pronuba: matron of honor who had to still be married to her 1st & only husband–camilius a boy who had to have both parents living, assisted in the sacrifice and carried the sacrificial objects.

The bride and groom were seated on stool covered with the pelt of the sacrificed sheep

They ate cake made of grain (spelt) while the marriage contract was read & signed. Then the bride repeated the wedding vow ‘Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia’ or “Where you

are Gaius, I am Gaia”.

A Feast and A ParadeAfter the vows, the guests would offer congratulations of ‘feliciter’

and enjoy a feast at the same house where the couple was married. When evenings arrived, the groom pretended to “steal” the bride by taking her from her mother’s arms where she had sought solace after pretending she didn’t want to leave. Then there was a torchlight parade to the groom’s house. The camilius carried the torch for the couple and the pronuba carried a distaff and spindle for the bride. Nuts, cakes and coins might be tossed to the guest who sang songs and insulted the couple with shouts of ‘Talassio’ or ‘Talassius” the meaning of which is now lost. The bride carried 3 coins with her, one for the god of the crossroads, one for her husband and one for the Lares of her new home.

The Happy HomeWhen arriving at the home of the groom, he entered first. Then the bride anointed

the doorway with wool soaked in oil and grease. She was then lifted over the threshold as tripping would be a bad omen. Once inside, her husband presented her with fire and water. At this time she put her torch out and threw it to the guests who clamored for the lucky charm. Then the pronuba removed the flammeum from the bride and led her to the marriage bed, which was set up in the doorway. The next day a second feast might be held at the house of the newlyweds.

DivorceDivorce could be simple or not depending on the type of ceremony used for the

marriage. It was nearly impossible to obtain a divorce if you were married by confarreatio. This and the fact that it was an in manu ceremony is one reason why it became less and less popular while it’s traditions were adopted into the other ceremonies. A man could divorce his wife for adultery and later infertility, but once divorced, a woman retained her dowry. It seems divorce was common among the upper classes and if a woman had married sine manu, she retained some freedom once divorced. Remarriage was also common as there was no religious or social stigma for either divorce or remarriage.

AssignmentNow you will need to post in the “Let’s Get Married” discussion board.

There are several of our marriage customs today that came from the customs of the Romans. Post one well written paragraph detailing which modern customs are derived from the Romans. Please detail 3-5 customs fully explaining the connection to the Romans for each. Please remember to use proper English, including spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Don’t forget that you must both post and respond to a classmate for full credit.