ANGER MANAGEMENT SKILLS

By

Soheir H. ElGhonemy Assist. Professor of Psychiatry

Faculty of Medicine -Ain Shams Universityselghonamy@hotmail.com

OBJECTIVES:

1. Identify your anger triggers2. Know your anger cues3. Know your anger style4. Deal with your anger effectively

Becoming angry does not make you a bad person. Everyone gets mad on occasion. However, how you deal with and express that rage is where the problem lies.

No one can make you angry. Just like no one can make you happy. Anger is just an outlet for other emotions that we aren’t dealing with in an appropriate manner.

Learning how to deal with this disorder is what Anger Management Strategies is all about

WHY DO WE GET ANGRY?

“We are predisposed to become angry when we appraise an event or a person as a threat to one of our basic needs such as food or shelter, or more mature needs such as identity, recognition, achievement, and social affiliation.”

Dr. Weisinger’s Anger Work-out book

Part of what makes us angry is how we appraise or interpret situations.

Identify a range of feelings including anger:

Embarrassment Excitement Disappointment Jealousy Fear Helpless Sadness Left-out

HOW DO YOU EXPERIENCE ANGER?

HOW DO YOU FEEL IT PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY?

What changes do you notice in yourself when you become angry?

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Complete the checklist on the next slide.

Anger Symptoms Checklist * Check off those that apply to you

Physical Symptoms Emotional Symptoms Symptoms adapted from the following website: http:/ / www.lifewatcheap.com/poc/ view_doc.php?type=doc&id=5812&cn=116

Increased heart rate

Muscle tension

Sweating/ feeling hot

Shallower/ faster breathing

Clenched jaw

Grinding of teeth

Headache

Stomachache

Shaking or trembling

Dizziness

Want to pace

Feel as though you need a drink or a cigarette

Feel like crying

Want to yell

Short with others

Anxious

Sad

Guilty

Resentful

Lose sense of humor

Withdraw from others or shut down

Are there other ways you experience anger internally?

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Trigger

The scene has been set by previous events and your mood, and then something triggers your response of anger.

UNDERSTANDING TRIGGERS

Recognizing there has been a series of precursors to the anger can reduce the impact of the trigger.

And, knowing your specific triggers can help you respond differently when they occur the next time.

THOUGHTS MATTER

Triggers are accompanied by thoughts, including thoughts that you have so quickly that they are almost automatic and you may not even notice them.

NOW YOU TRY

Usual thought that leads to anger _______________________________

New way of thinking about it _______________________________ _______________________________

NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF ANGER

Anger may lead to muddled thinking or impulsive action

Anger can cause confusion as to where the true problem lies

Anger can lead to aggression or avoidance

CAN ANGER BE A POSITIVE? Although anger is often viewed as a negative

feeling, it can be used in a positive way… Anger provides cues that there is a problem Anger provides energy and can help motivate action Anger encourages the expression of feelings

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR ANGER

1. Stand up for yourself and others being hurt.

2. Learn to defeat negative self-talk.

3. Feel good about learning about yourself.

4. You are strong when you use fair and firm words instead of fists.

POSITIVE RELIEF Anger feels uncomfortable. There are ways to

relieve it that are not destructive. Taking some time before reacting can be constructive—not aggression, not avoidance, just a break before deciding how to handle things that have led to the anger.

TIME OUT Ways to ease feelings of anger

Take a walk or engage in some other physical activity

Perform a relaxation exercise (e.g. meditation, progressive relaxation, etc.)

Read a bookListen to musicWatch televisionTalk to or call a friendWrite in your journalComplete chores

What ideas do you have?

PRACTICING RELAXATION Progressive relaxation

Take 3 deep abdominal breaths and imagine the tension leaving your body as you exhale

Clench your fists and hold for up to 10 seconds (use this amount of time for each muscle group). Release.

Tighten your biceps. Release.Tighten your triceps. Release.

Continue to follow the directions above for each muscle group making sure you include muscles in your face, shoulders, and core, and continue to breathe deeply.

PRACTICING RELAXATION You can also envision yourself in a setting

you find peaceful Make sure you envision the scene in great detail You do not have to limit yourself to reality

USE THE ANGER

Let anger be your friend. Listen to it. What is the problem you are encountering? Is it related to the preceding situations or moods? Why is the trigger powerful over you?

What steps can you take to figure out the problem?

ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM Once you have figured out the problem, you can

figure out how to address it. Do you need to rearrange your schedule? Learn time management skills? Talk with someone about your interactions? End a bad relationship? Find a major you like better?

YOU’RE NOT ALONE Sometimes things are easy to figure out and

change. Many time, though, it’s hard.

Consider using the Counseling to help you learn to understand better what your anger is telling you, and how to make good changes in your life.

SUMMARY ANGER MANAGEMENT TIPS ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #1 Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #2 Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #3 Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another person, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #4 Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #5 Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #6 Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #7 Try pacing your numbers as you count use something that you find either pleasant or humorous.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #8 Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

You are in charge of your own feelings:

1.You own your feelings.2.It is okay to feel angry.3.Anger is part of being

human.4.Learn how to express

your anger in helpful ways.

MANAGE YOUR ANGER AND WIN YOURSELF AND OTHERS