32
Prevention Workshop for Parents Amanda Nickerson, Ph.D. Associate Professor and Director Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention University at Buffalo [email protected] gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter

Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

Page 1: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Bullying Prevention Workshop for

Parents Amanda Nickerson, Ph.D.Associate Professor and Director

Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse PreventionUniversity at Buffalo

[email protected]/alberticenter

Page 2: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Key Points of Presentation• What is Bullying?

• Recognize the Warning Signs

• “Bullyproofing” My Child

• My Child is Being Bullied

• My Child Might Be Bullying Others

• How Do I Get Help?

Page 3: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What is Bullying?

Page 4: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What is Bullying?

Intentional, usually repeated acts of verbal, physical, or written aggression by a peer (or group of peers) operating from a position of strength or power with the goal of hurting the victim physically or damaging status and/or social reputation

Olweus (1978); United States Department of Education (1998)

Page 5: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What are the Different Types of Bullying?

• Physical bullyingo punching, shoving, acts that hurt people

• Verbal bullyingo name calling, making offensive remarks

• Indirect bullyingo spreading rumors, excluding, ganging up

• Cyber bullyingo sending insulting messages, pictures or threats

by e-mail, text messaging, chat rooms

Hinduja & Patchin (2009)

Page 6: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

How is Bullying Different from Teasing and Conflict?

Teasing: Fun, good-natured, “give-and-take” between friends to get both parties to laugh

Bullying: Based on a power imbalance; intent to cause psychological or physical harm; usually repeated

Conflict: A struggle, dispute, or misunderstanding between two equal forces

Page 7: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

When and Where Does Bullying Occur?

• Pre-K through late high school (and beyond); peaks in grades 4-7

• Can happen anywhere, but it is most likely to occur in less closely supervised areas (bus, locker room, hallways, playground, online)

Page 8: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Is Bullying Different in Boys and Girls?

• Boyso More direct, physical bullyingo Bully more frequently than girlso Bully both boys and girls

• Girlso More indirect (harder to detect)o Often occurs in groups and with girls of same ageo Cyberbullying slightly more common than for

males

Banks (2000); Cook, Williams, Guerra, Kim, & Sadek, (2010); Crick & Grotpeter, (1995); Hinduja & Patchi (2009); Hoover & Oliver, (1996); Nansel et al., (2001); Olweus, (2002); Underwood, (2003)

Page 9: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What do we Know about Students who Bully?

• Desire for power and control

• Get satisfaction from others’ suffering

• Justify their behavior (“he deserved it”)

• More exposed to physical punishment

• More likely to be depressed

• May have other problem behaviors (alcohol and drug use, fighting)

Batsche & Knoff (1994); Beaver, Perron, & Howard, (2010); Olweus (1993); Swearer et al. (in press); Vaughn, Bender, DeLisi, (in press)

Page 10: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Recognize the Warning Signs

Page 11: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What are Signs that Child May be Bullying Others?

• Refer to others negatively (wimp, loser)• Lack empathy• Strong need to get his or her own way• Hostile/defiant attitude• Anger easily• Deny involvement or blame others when behavior

is addressed

Page 12: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What are Characteristics of Children who are Bullied?

• Have a position of relative weaknesso Age, ethnic background, financial status, disability, sexual orientation

• Most are passive and lack assertivenesso Do nothing to invite aggressiono Do not fight back when attachedo May relate better to adults than peers

• Some provoke otherso Offend, irritate, tease otherso Reactive; fight back when attacked

Boivin, Poulin, & Vitaro (1994); Hodges & Perry (1999); Olweus (1978, 1993, 2001); Schwartz (2000); Snyder et al. (2003)

Page 13: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What are Kids Bullied About?

• Appearance/body size

• Perceived sexual orientation

• How masculine or feminine they appear to be

• Ability at school (“invisible” disabilities)

• Race/ethnicity

• Money

• Religion

“If they look different, love different, or walk different”- Kevin Jennings

Page 14: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What are Signs that Child May be Bullied

• Unexplained illnesses, cuts/bruises

• Not wanting to go to school or be in social situations

• Any change in behavioro Not interested in doing things that he/she used to like doingo Withdrawn

Page 15: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What are Consequences for Youth who Bully?

• More likely to experience legal or criminal troubles as adults

• Poor ability to develop and maintain positive relationships in later life

Andershed, Kerr, & Stattin (2001); Farrington (2009);Farrington, & Ttofi (2009, 2011); Oliver, Hoover, & Hazler

(1994); Olweus (1993); Ttofi & Farrington (2008)

Page 16: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

What are Consequences for Targets of Bullying?

• Emotional distress• Loneliness, peer rejection• Desire to avoid school• Increased anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation;

low self-esteem • In some cases, may respond with extreme violence

Boivin, Hymel, & Bukowski (1995); Boulton & Underwood (1992);Crick & Bigbee (1998); Egan & Perry (1998); Hinduja, & Patchin, (2009);Kochenderfer & Ladd (1996);Nickerson & Sltater (2009);Olweus (1993); Perry et al. (1988)

Page 17: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

“Bullyproofing” My Child

Page 18: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Be a Positive Role Model

• Talk with and listen to your child (about school, peers, interests

• Listen to and validate concerns about friends and other students

• Treat others with dignity and respect

• Avoid using derogatory terms toward or about others in person and/or electronically

(View Think Before You Speak video)

Hymel, Nickerson, & Swearer Education.com

Page 19: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Get and Stay Involved

• Get involved in school, in community, and at homeo Do so in a developmentally appropriate way (mindful of child’s and

school’s preference)

• Visit school’s website and read newsletters

• Know the school’s policies in terms of bullying prevention and intervention

• Join the PTA and volunteer

• Attend extracurricular and sporting eventso Support child’s talents and competenceo Get to know coaches, counselors, and leaders

Page 20: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Teach Children Good Habits Early and Consistently

• Have high expectations for behavior and a low tolerance for being mean

• Be specific about how specific words and behaviors can hurt others

• Teach better ways to respond (All feelings are OK – but not all behaviors are OK)

• Emphasize the importance of being a friend

Page 21: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Talk Openly about Bullying, Friendship, and Relationships

Visit gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenterfor other resources and conversation starters

Page 22: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Teach Children to be Upstanders, not Bystanders• Don’t join in… speak up if it is safe to do so

• Band together as a group against bullies

• Tell an adult about the bullyingo Tattling/ratting = telling an adult to get someone in troubleo Telling/reporting = telling an adult because someone’s behavior is

unsafe or hurtful to another

• Reach out to isolated peers, offer support

• See http://wearethesolution.net

Page 23: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Cyberbullying Prevention

• Teach responsible use of technologyo Only communicate things that you would be OK

about your parents seeingo Follow rules (no Facebook under age of 13)o Beware of anonymous sites like Formspringo Use the “off” switch

• Do not respond to upsetting communications

• Supervise and limit activities (no 24/7)o Have computers in common areas (not in

bedroom)o Know child’s passwordo Be friend on Facebooko Bring cell phones, computers to parents’ room to

charge overnight

Page 24: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

My Child is Being Bullied

Page 25: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

If Your Child is Being Bullied

(View From the Mouth of Youth video)

• Listen and empathizeo “Tell me what happened”o “That must have been very scary for you”o Thank child for telling you

• Take it seriouslyo Do not minimize of trivialize

Page 26: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

If Your Child is Being Bullied

• Work with child to find out more about situation and to problem-solveo Responses like “just ignore it,” “give him a good whack,” what did you

do to bother him or her?” won’t help

• Work in partnership with school and with outside professionals if needed

• Follow-up

Page 27: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

My Child Might Be Bullying

Others

Page 28: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

If Your Child is Bullying Others

• Send clear, firm, and supportive message that the behavior is not OK and that you are going to work with child to change it (meaningful consequences)

• Try to figure out why your child is bullyingo Desire for social power or status?o Temperament issue that needs more adult regulation?o Going along with peers?o Being bullied by others and lashing out?

Page 29: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

If Your Child is Bullying Others

• Work with teacher or counselor to plan for change o Involve child in developing alternate behaviors or ideas to gain

leadership and “social status” that don’t involve bullying others

• Provide specific examples (from your experience; carefully screened books and media)

Page 30: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

How Do I Get Help?

Page 31: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Know that there are Resources Available

Local Resources for Families

• Family Resource Centers (Cleveland Hill 836-7200 Ext. 8363)

• Catholic Charities – 218-1400

• Child & Adolescent Treatment Services Intake – 835-780

• Child & Family Services – 842-750

• Prevention Focus/Teen Focus – 884-3256

• Erie County Council for the Prevention of Alcohol & Substance Abuse – 831-2298

• Mental Health Association of Erie County – 886-1242

• Police (911)

Referrals for Students in Crisis• 1-800-273-TALK (Suicide Lifeline)• 1-866-4-U-Trevor (LGBTQ Youth Suicide Hotline)• 716-834-1144 or 1-877-KIDS-400 (Buffalo Crisis Services Hotline)

Page 32: Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

Questions?Thank you for your attention and interest!

For more resources, please visit us at gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter

To make the best use of our time, please make sure your question is…

1. A question, rather than a statement

2. Something I am likely to be able to answer