Writing tipsShort, sharp and to the point

Centre for Teaching and Learning staff, with ideas sourced from:

“Writing a report: A step-by-step guide to effective report writing” by John Bowden (1997).“Brilliant writing tips for students” by Julia Copus (2009).

Jules Henri Fayol was born in Istanbul in 1841 and died in Paris in 1925. I decided to write about him, because he came up with an important management approach called Administrative Principles and one really interesting quote I read about him was that if all philosophy is a set of footnotes to Plato, management theory is in large measure a reply to Fayol’s original memo. According to Hales in a book called Management through Organisation. I chose Confucianism because it is incredibly important in China and South-East Asia. They’re different in some ways but similar in lots of others, both of them are relevant because leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an organized group towards goal achievement.

What do you think of this introduction paragraph?

Look at the paragraph again and look for examples of these FIVE academic writing mistakes:

• a sentence fragment

• a run-on sentence

• a sudden change of topic

• inappropriate vocabulary and style

• plagiarism

Jules Henri Fayol was born in Istanbul in 1841 and died in Paris in 1925. I decided to write about him, because he came up with an important management approach called Administrative Principles and one really interesting quote I read about him was that if all philosophy is a set of footnotes to Plato, management theory is in large measure a reply to Fayol’s original memo. According to Hales in a book called Management through Organisation. I chose Confucianism because it is incredibly important in China and South-East Asia. They’re different in some ways but similar in lots of others, both of them are relevant because leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an organized group towards goal achievement.

Mistake 1: Sentence Fragment

Jules Henri Fayol was born in Istanbul in 1841 and died in Paris in 1925. I decided to write about him, because he came up with an important management approach called Administrative Principles and one really interesting quote I read about him was that if all philosophy is a set of footnotes to Plato, management theory is in large measure a reply to Fayol’s original memo. According to Hales in a book called Management through Organisation. I chose Confucianism because it is incredibly important in China and South-East Asia. They’re different in some ways but similar in lots of others, both of them are relevant because leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an organized group towards goal achievement.

Mistake 2: Run-On Sentence

Jules Henri Fayol was born in Istanbul in 1841 and died in Paris in 1925. I decided to write about him, because he came up with an important management approach called Administrative Principles and one really interesting quote I read about him was that if all philosophy is a set of footnotes to Plato, management theory is in large measure a reply to Fayol’s original memo. According to Hales in a book called Management through Organisation. I chose Confucianism because it is incredibly important in China and South-East Asia. They’re different in some ways but similar in lots of others, both of them are relevant because leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an organized group towards goal achievement.

Mistake 3: Sudden change of topic

Jules Henri Fayol was born in Istanbul in 1841 and died in Paris in 1925. I decided to write about him, because he came up with an important management approach called Administrative Principles and one really interesting quote I read about him was that if all philosophy is a set of footnotes to Plato, management theory is in large measure a reply to Fayol’s original memo. According to Hales in a book called Management through Organisation. I chose Confucianism because it is incredibly important in China and South-East Asia. They’re different in some ways but similar in lots of others, both of them are relevant because leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an organized group towards goal achievement.

Problem 4: Non-academic English

Jules Henri Fayol was born in Istanbul in 1841 and died in Paris in 1925. I decided to write about him, because he came up with an important management approach called Administrative Principles and one really interesting quote I read about him was that if all philosophy is a set of footnotes to Plato, management theory is in large measure a reply to Fayol’s original memo. According to Hales in a book called Management through Organisation. I chose Confucianism because it is incredibly important in China and South-East Asia. They’re different in some ways but similar in lots of others, both of them are relevant because leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an organized group towards goal achievement.

Problem 5 (The Major One): Plagiarism

lazy & irrelevant cut-and-paste from Wikipedia

needs a reference

needs “ “ and a reference

needs “ “ and a reference

needs a reference

Leadership has been defined as “the process of influencing the activities of an organized group toward goal achievement” (Rauch & Behling, 1984, p. 46). Given its central importance within society, it is no surprise that leadership has been a major focus of study and debate throughout history. This essay compares two approaches to leadership from Western and Eastern traditions. The first is Fayol’s century-old Administrative Principles approach, considered to be one of the foundations of the study of Management as a distinct discipline. Indeed, Management theory has been described as “in large measure, a reply to Fayol’s original memo” (Hales, 1993, p. 3). The second approach is the much older and more culturally-embedded set of beliefs known as Confucianism, which is said to continue to guide leadership and management across China and much of South-East Asia (Tsui, Wang, Xin, Zhang, & Fu, 2004). It will be argued that, despite their diverse origins, these two approaches share certain core values, and an understanding of their potential and limitations continues to be a core component of management expertise in the modern business environment.

What makes this a more successful introduction?

Look at the paragraph again and look for examples of these academic writing strengths:

• focus on the topic

• expert definition of the topic

• summary of relevant research

• logical structure

• academic vocabulary and style

• smooth flow of ideas

Leadership has been defined as “the process of influencing the activities of an organized group toward goal achievement” (Rauch & Behling, 1984, p. 46). Given its central importance within society, it is no surprise that leadership has been a major focus of study and debate throughout history. This essay compares two approaches to leadership from Western and Eastern traditions. The first is Fayol’s century-old Administrative Principles approach, considered to be one of the foundations of the study of Management as a distinct discipline. Indeed, Management theory has been described as “in large measure, a reply to Fayol’s original memo” (Hales, 1993, p. 3). The second approach is the much older and more culturally-embedded set of beliefs known as Confucianism, which is said to continue to guide leadership and management across China and much of South-East Asia (Tsui, Wang, Xin, Zhang, & Fu, 2004). It will be argued that, despite their diverse origins, these two approaches share certain core values, and an understanding of their potential and limitations continues to be a core component of management expertise in the modern business environment.

Strength 1: Focus on the main topic of the essay

Strength 2: Expert definition of the topic

Leadership has been defined as “the process of influencing the activities of an organized group toward goal achievement” (Rauch & Behling, 1984, p. 46).

Strength 3: Summary of relevant research

The second approach is the much older and more culturally-embedded set of beliefs known as Confucianism, which is said to continue to guide leadership and management across China and much of South-East Asia (Tsui, Wang, Xin, Zhang, & Fu, 2004).

Strength 4: logical sequence of elements (definition + context + preview + thesis statement)

Leadership has been defined as “the process of influencing the activities of an organized group toward goal achievement” (Rauch & Behling, 1984, p. 46). Given its central importance within society, it is no surprise that leadership has been a major focus of study and debate throughout history. This essay compares two approaches to leadership from Western and Eastern traditions. The first is Fayol’s century-old Administrative Principles approach, considered to be one of the foundations of the study of Management as a distinct discipline. Indeed, Management theory has been described as “in large measure, a reply to Fayol’s original memo” (Hales, 1993, p. 3). The second approach is the much older and more culturally-embedded set of beliefs known as Confucianism, which is said to continue to guide leadership and management across China and much of South-East Asia (Tsui, Wang, Xin, Zhang, & Fu, 2004). It will be argued that, despite their diverse origins, these two approaches share certain core values, and an understanding of their potential and limitations continues to be a core component of management expertise in the modern business environment.

Strength 5: Smooth flow of ideas

Leadership has been defined as “the process of influencing the activities of an organized group toward goal achievement” (Rauch & Behling, 1984, p. 46). Given its central importance within society, it is no surprise that leadership has been a major focus of study and debate throughout history. This essay compares two approaches to leadership from Western and Eastern traditions. The first is Fayol’s century-old Administrative Principles approach, considered to be one of the foundations of the study of Management as a distinct discipline. Indeed, Management theory has been described as “in large measure, a reply to Fayol’s original memo” (Hales, 1993, p. 3). The second approach is ........... It will be argued that, despite their diverse origins, these two approaches .......

On its own, this can be vague.

The steps to resolving the issue involve clear communication and a willingness to forgive. This allows personnel to work effectively together.

Recap words which can make it more specific include: issue / situation / phenomenon / process / concept / theory / strategy.

Which recap word could go after ‘this’ in the example above? This process allows personnel to work effectively together.

‘This’ and ‘these’ + a recap word can help flow.

Strength 6: Academic Vocabulary and Style

Leadership has been defined as xxxxxxx ...... xxxxxx, considered to be one of the foundations of the study of Management as a distinct discipline. Indeed, Management theory has been described as xxxxxxxx (Hales, 1993, p. 3). The second approach is the much older and more culturally-embedded set of beliefs known as Confucianism, which is said to xxxxxxxxxx It will be argued that, despite their diverse origins, these two approaches share certain core values, and an understanding of their potential and limitations continues to be a core component of management expertise ..........

But avoid trying to be ‘academic’ for the sake of it!

Verily, it is incumbent upon you to avoid ensamples of archaic words. • Deliberately choosing words because they sound “academic”

will only detract from your writing.• Sometimes we choose to add words to “pad” out assignments

– if it’s waffly or unclear and you take ages to get to the point, you’ll lose marks!

Eschew enticement to vary each utterance to another with the aid of the thesaurus. (i.e. don’t be tempted to change every word to something else using the thesaurus).

Basically, avoid using words when you are unsure of their flotuberance.

Focus on these issues while editing your work

Try reading your essays out loud in a ‘newsreader voice’.

This will help you notice if:

– Sentences are too long or too short– Words are missing– You’re repeating the same word too often– You’ve used contractions (“don’t”, “you’ve”…)– You’ve used “that”, “this” or “it” vaguely – check that it’s

clear what you’re talking about (do you need a recap word?)

Develop effective writing skills at Massey by:

Taking writing papers

Using online resources at http://owll.massey.ac.nz

Sending your draft assignment to the pre-reading service (details in your Stream page)

Making an appointment to discuss your draft assignment at the CTL (Centre for Teaching and Learning)

Attending further CTL workshops