Writing Captions that Captivate

Lizabeth A. Walsh, MJE

Worth a 1,000 words… oh no, they’re not!

Photographs are worth so much more than that

Photographs represent: The events that happenedThe people who attended themThe action they captureThe reactions to what happenedThe emotions associated with themThe history of the school and the communityThe memories of the year

Okay, Okay, you’ve guilted me into you’ve guilted me into

itit

What structures can I use to caption? Identification (Who?) Explanation (Who is doing what?) Detailed (When, where, why, or how?) Storytelling (Let the picture talk)

IdentificationIdentification

When you’re trying to get more people into the book, you’re going to have many smaller photos with less design space for large captions.

Find a place for telling us who those people are, and do it consistently.

ExplanationExplanation Tell the reader who is doing what in a

single sentence.

Use present tense to capture the “action.”

Don’t even think about writing a “duh factor” caption. Sophomore Susie Smith smiles for the camera.

Really? We had no idea what she was doing. Thanks, pal. We were lost without your brilliant explanation.

DetailedDetailed Provide the 5 Ws and H for the

photograph, giving readers context and providing historical value.

Use one present tense sentence for the action (Explanation portion) and another in past tense for the remaining details. Why mix tenses? The present tense captures

action, and the past provides information about an event that has clearly already happened.

Sophomores Tricia Keane, Helen Lanning, Liz Grabo Trainers Emily Grady, senior; and Sam Grabo, junior; running back Lawrence Nichols, senior

Dance team juniors2006 Pioneer Conference Champions

CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support from

both the school and the community, the football team rallied from a 20 point deficit

to defeat Fairview 28-27 in the conference championship

game on Nov. 3. Fans were brought to their feet when

injured running back Lawrence Nichols returned to the game after pulling the a calf muscle in the opening minutes of the

second half.

CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support from both the

school and the community, the football team rallied from a 20 point

deficit to defeat Fairview 28-27 in the conference championship game on Nov. 3. Fans were brought to their

feet when injured running back Lawrence Nichols returned to the

game after pulling the a calf muscle in the opening minutes of the second

half.

StorytellingStorytelling

All of the above parts of the detailed caption

PLUS

A quote from an interview about the event Now, the picture talks- it’s like turning

up the sound and hearing the audio to match the video.

CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support from both

the school and the community, the football team rallied from a 20

point deficit to defeat Fairview 28-27 in the conference championship game on Nov. 3. Fans were brought

to their feet when injured running back Lawrence Nichols returned to

the game after pulling the a calf muscle in the opening minutes of the second half. “When we were

presented the championship trophy, all I could think of was the speech that Jon Germuska gave in

the locker room at half-time. He talked about believing in ourselves. After all the setbacks as a result of

injuries, we showed that we are a team that has character. We had another chance to prove that we

are a team that never backs down and never gives up. It was

awesome to come from behind and beat Fairview,” said kicker Jonah

Martin, senior.

Sophomores Tricia Keane, Helen Lanning, Liz Grabo Trainers Emily Grady, senior; and Sam Grabo, junior; running back Lawrence Nichols, senior

Dance team juniors2006 Pioneer Conference Champions

CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support from both the

school and the community, the football team rallied from a 20 point deficit to

defeat Fairview 28-27 in the conference championship game on

Nov. 3. Fans were brought to their feet when injured running back Lawrence

Nichols returned to the game after pulling the a calf muscle in the opening

minutes of the second half. “When we were presented the championship trophy, all I could think of was the

speech that Jon Germuska gave in the locker room at half-time. He talked

about believing in ourselves. After all the setbacks as a result of injuries, we

showed that we are a team that has character. We had another chance to prove that we are a team that never

backs down and never gives up. It was awesome to come from behind and beat Fairview,” kicker Jonah Martin,

senior, said.

Start by headlining itStart by headlining it(aka Lead-in)(aka Lead-in)

Should be clever

Go beyond the expected

Have a clear visual-verbal connection

Remember to design your spread to accommodate whatever types of captions you’re writing.

PracticePractice List words or

phrases that come to mind

Think of something clever- not just “Hey, look at that kid in the glasses!”

So now that I know what they So now that I know what they are, how do I create them?are, how do I create them?

Follow the A-B-C method Action Lead Basic Information Complementary Information

A — Action Lead-In B — Basic Information C — Complementary Information

Practice TimePractice TimeWho: Seniors Amy Antal and Josh FouseWhat: Amy paints Josh’s face in blue and gold at the “Rally in the Alley.”Where: The “Rally in the Alley” started in 2003 and was held at a senior’s home. The entire school was invited to a barbeque before each home game.When: The picture was taken before the first home football game of the season against the Canon MacMillan, “Big Macs.” Detail: The final score was 33-14.

Fine tune your writingFine tune your writing Make each caption begin in a

different way. Variety is spicy.

Re-write your caption using each of the following grammatical approaches: Adjective, adverb, infinitive,

preposition, verbal, causal, and conditional

Adjective - Real crowd pleasers, the drum line performs “Martian Mambo” before the Westlake game.

Adverb - Colorfully dressed as aliens, the drum line performs “Martian Mambo” before the Westlake game.

Infinitive - To engage the crowd before the Westlake game, the drum line performs “Martian Mambo” in alien attire.

Prepositional - Before the Westlake game, the drum line performs “Martian Mambo” in alien attire.

Verbal (Present Participle) - Playing the “Martian Mambo,” the drum line, dressed in alien attire, warms up the pre-game crowd.

Verbal (Past Participle) - Dressed as aliens, the drum line performs “Martian Mambo” before the Westlake game.

Causal - Since the half-time show had a Star Wars theme, the drum line previewed the performance for the pre-game crowd with the “Martian Mambo.”

Conditional - If the drum line performed their pre-game warm-up in alien attire, the Band Boosters promised the percussionists five extra large pizzas.

Now add Now add the remaining detailsthe remaining details

Why: The number 44 on Amy’s face was to support her friend, senior running back and linebacker, Tyler Beitel.

How: Students painted up, cooked dogs and burgers, and listened to student rock bands.

The tradition has moved several times. This particular picture was taken at senior Angelea Kuruc’s grandmother’s house, the location of this year’s “Rally in the Alley.”

Quote from Antal: “The worst part was when the paint dried and cracked all over everyone’s skin. It really hurt.”

Now mix things upNow mix things up

How about just an identification & quote?

Could we just use the quote and explain a bit afterwards to give it context?

How about moving the quote up in the caption and moving some details down?

Revise & Proof for Revise & Proof for QualityQuality

Check all name spellings

Verify quoted material is accurate

Remove any non-specific pronouns - many, some, a few

Make sure that you read the entire spread- only one caption per spread may use a particular lead sentence style

More Quality ConcernsMore Quality Concerns

More Quality ConcernsMore Quality Concerns Consider retaining the spelled out class

descriptions (freshman, sophomore, junior, senior) because it doesn’t interrupt eye flow for the reader.

Retain subject-verb order in attributions “I like pie,” sophomore Susie Smith said.

Consider embedding attribution within longer quotes, so everything doesn’t end in said. “I like pie because it’s so yummy,” sophomore

Susie Smith said. “My favorite is cherry, but really, I’ll eat almost any flavor.”

All materials All materials presented…presented…

Remain the property and copyright of the various owners of the original works.

These yearbook samples were presented at BALFOUR workshops for the benefit of their clients and customers.

Please do not alter these presentations.

Use of these shows is intended only for individual adviser-to-staff classroom teaching, not for publication or reproduction in any form for any type of presentation at a conference, camp, convention, or gathering of multiple schools’ staffs.