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Writing Effective Emails: Mastering Todays Number

One Tool for Business Communication FEATURED FACULTY: Philip Vassallo, Ed.D., Writing Management, Design, Instruction, and Assessment 732-721-7577 [email protected]
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Philip Vassallo, Ed.D., Writing Management, Design, Instruction, and Assessment Philip Vassallo has developed, delivered, and supervised communication training programs for a wide range of managerial, administrative, and technical professionals in corporate, government, and academic environments. He has also taught writing and presentation skills on the graduate and undergraduate university levels, most recently for the Beijing International MBA program at Peking University. He has served as an essay and speech evaluator for the Educational Testing Service on standardized tests such as the Graduate Record Examination, College Level Examination Placement, Graduate Management Admissions Test, and the Test of Spoken English. He also has provided writing coaching and assessment services for numerous corporate employees. Dr. Vassallo is the author of the books How to Write Fast Under Pressure, on writing efficiently; The Art of On-the-Job Writing, on work-related writing; The Art of E-Mail Writing, on business e-mail; The Inwardness of the Outward Gaze, on philosophy and teaching; and The Choice Movement and Educational Equity, on education. He also writes Words on the Line, a column and a blog on effective writing. He has contributed to many literary and educational publications, and to books by McGraw-Hill, St. Martins Press, and Simon & Schuster. Ten of his plays have been staged in New York and elsewhere, and he has won or been a finalist in several state and national playwriting competitions. Dr. Vassallo holds a bachelors degree in English from Baruch College, a masters in education from Lehman College, and a doctorate in educational theory from Rutgers University. He is a past president of the New Jersey College English Association.

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Writing the Right Email

2012 Philip Vassallo 1

Presented by Philip Vassallo, Ed.D.

Welcome!

author of three books on work-related writing, the blog Words on the Line, and 50+ published articles on writing theory and practice

instructional designer, trainer, writer, and editor for corporate and government clients

writing assessor of standardized tests

faculty member of Beijing International MBA program

doctorate in educational theory

Your Instructor

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Tips from Three Sources

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1. Master the unique challenges of email.

2. Compose purposeful, reader-focused emails.

3. Employ strategies for creating a courteous tone.

4. Manage your email system effectively and efficiently.

Webinar Objectives

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Statement getting to the point

Support addressing the issues

Structure organizing your ideas

Style coming across professionally

4S Email Writing Product

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REWARD

1. Saves time for sender.

2. Promotes brevity.

3. Encourages casual style.

4. Eases sending to multiple readers.

5. Contributes to paperless world.

6. Stimulates writing and reading.

RISK

1. Could waste receivers time.

2. Could promote ambiguity.

3. Could cause tone problems.

4. Could annoy multiple readers.

5. Could contribute to losing key information.

6. Could inundate readers with information overload.

Email Rewards vs. Risks

A Delicate Balance

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Suppose Ava received from Otto, a coworker, the following email:

To: Ava Re: XYZ ReportFrom: Otto Date: Today 1:23 p.m.

Ava,

Question: When will the XYZ report be ready? Ill be referring to it during my conference call with Calvin Client next Friday. This meeting represents a great business opportunity for us. Hope it all works out. Do you need my help to prepare it? Id be glad to help. Also, Ill be out of town on Thursday, so Ill need you to lock up the office that afternoon.

Thanks,Otto

And Ava responded with the following email:

To: Otto Re: Re: XYZ ReportFrom: Ava Date: Today 1:30 p.m.

Ill email you the report on Tuesday.

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Request, Draft 1

To: Ava Re: XYZ ReportFrom: Otto Date: Today 1:23 p.m.

Ava,

Question: When will the XYZ report be ready? Ill be referring to it during my conference call with Calvin Client next Friday. This meeting represents a great business opportunity for us. Hope it all works out. Do you need my help to prepare it? Id be glad to help. Also, Ill be out of town on Thursday, so Ill need you to lock up the office that afternoon.

Thanks,Otto

1. a subject line that does not preview the purpose

2. an opening that does not cover the entire message

4. a key point buried at the end of the message

3. a single paragraph that conveys more than one idea

5. a closing without clear next steps.

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Five Common Email Problems



Email is writing, not talking.

Premise 1: The Art of E-mail Writing

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1. Preview the purpose in the subject line.

Email Solution: Getting to the Point

Avoid Vague Subject Lines

Re: Update

Prefer Focused Subject Lines

Re: Project XYZ Update

Re: Meeting Re: Quality Assurance Meeting Minutes

Re: Smartphone Re: Proposal for a TrueX Smartphone

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2. State the purpose immediately.

The Purpose Here is an update of Project XYZ.

The Point To describe the work completed, issues encountered, issues addressed, and remaining work for Project XYZ.

The Purpose The minutes of our Quality Assurance meeting appear below.

The Point To note the agenda issues addressed, lessons learned, newest action items, and staff assigned to address them.

The Purpose Purchasing a TrueX smartphone for our project managers will improve data sharing in remote locations, responsiveness to management and client inquiries, and access to client databases.

The Point To describe how purchasing a smartphone would inexpensively achieve the three stated objectives for the project managers.

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3. Reinforce the purpose with focused next steps in the closing .


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Purpose Here is an update of Project XYZ.

Next Steps You will receive a final update upon completion of Project XYZ.

Purpose The minutes of our Quality Assurance meeting appear below.

Next Steps The next QA meeting will be on March 4 in Conference Room 2 at 1 p.m. Please contact QA if you wish to amend these minutes.

Purpose Purchasing a TrueX smartphone for our project managers will improve data sharing in remote locations, responsiveness to management and client inquiries, and access to client databases.

Next steps Please allow time to discuss this proposal at our next staff meeting, and click here for more information about the TrueX smartphone.



If Otto reported to Ava and wanted to be deferential, he could write this message:

To: Ava Re: Two Business IssuesFrom: Otto Date: Today 1:23 p.m.

Ava,

Please answer the following questions:

Will the XYZ report be ready before my conference call with Calvin Client on Friday?

Can you lock up the office on Thursday, as I will be out of town that afternoon?

Please let me know by 4:30 p.m. today.

Thanks,Otto

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Request, Draft 2

If Otto managed Ava and wanted to be more assertive, he could write this message:

To: Ava Re: Two Business IssuesFrom: Otto Date: Today 1:23 p.m.

Ava,

I need your help:

Submit the XYZ report to me by Thursday for my conference call with Calvin Client.

Lock up the office on Thursday, as I will be out of town that afternoon.

Please confirm by 4:30 p.m. today that youll handle these issues.

Thanks,Otto

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Request, Draft 3



Use PDF Structure

Purpose States the point of the email

Details Supports the purpose with needed details

Follow-through States next steps that connect to the purpose

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1. The purpose is clear in the subject lineeven before Ava reads the message.

2. The first sentence immediately focuses Ava on her role.

3. The last sentence gives Ava a clear deadline.

4. The numbered points make the details readily apparent to Ava.

5. Otto wastes no words. (The first message is 68 words, and the second message is 47 wordsa 31% word reduction.)

Improvements in Purposefulness

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An email should have only one purpose.


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1. Preview the purpose in the subject line.

2. State the purpose immediately.

3. Reinforce the purpose with focused next steps in the closing.

4. Use PDF to structure the email.

Halftime Review

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accusatory

aggressive

angry

annoyed

arrogant

assertive

bland

blunt

brusque

casual

cautious

concerned

condescending

confident

courteous

defensive

distracted

enthusiastic

evasive

firm

focused

formal

friendly

helpful

humorous

impersonal

inflexible

negative

obsequious

perfunctory

personal

pompous

positive

rushed

sarcastic

sincere

stilted

technical

uncertain

warm

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Tone = Attitude

always never depends

1. the message you are sending

2. your relationship with the reader

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Influences on Tone



1. Read your message from the readers viewpoint and with your purpose in mind.

2. Ask someone you trust to read your message.

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Checking Your Tone

Content Language need-to-know information

Context Languagenice-to-know information

helpful-to-know information

Balancing Content & Context

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Email 1: Content Language Only

Jane,

Attached are the following files:

Homebuyers Guide

Mortgage Application

Loan Application Checklist

Call me if you need anything else.

Tarzan

Email 2: Content Language with Context Language

Hello Jane,

Thank you for your interest in True Banks home mortgage services. To get your application process running smoothly, I have attached three documents for your review:

Homebuyers Guide provides plenty of information to help you make the best home purchase choice for your family.

Mortgage Application is the actual form we ask you to complete so that we can assess your eligibility for the mortgage.

Loan Application Checklist summarizes everything you should have available and be aware of during the application process.

I hope you give True Bank the opportunity to prove what great service we provide and welcome any question you may have. All the best with your home purchase!

Regards,Tarzan

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Which email works better in this case?

The level of context depends on the readers.


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FEELING

1. Control your emotions.

2. Avoid emoticons, smileys, and other silly devices.

COMPOSING

3. Avoid hard-to-read fonts.

4. Avoid all upper-case or all lower-case letters.

ATTACHING

5. Attach documents thoughtfully.

6. Clearly describe your attachment in the email.

Dealing with Email

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COPYING

7. Do not copy everyone.

8. Think about the implications of blind copying.

INITIATING

9. Assume nothing.

10.Avoid the read receipt requested feature.

RESPONDING

11.Consider whether email is the best way to reply.

12.Cut the length of the email string.

Dealing with Email (continued)

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FORWARDING

13. Help your reader understand forwarded email.

14. Do not forward email unnecessarily.

REVIEWING

15. Update your lists.

16. Update your entire management system.

Dealing with Email (continued)

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In standard email, the rules of standard writing apply.


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STATEMENT

1. Does my subject line clearly preview the message?

2. If initiating, do I open with a purpose statement at the top of the message?

3. If responding, do I stick to the point introduced by the initiator?

4. Do I conclude with clear next steps that logically connect to the purpose?

Email Checklist

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SUPPORT

5. Do my details support the purpose?

6. Do my details address all my readers concerns related to the purpose?

Email Checklist (continued)

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STRUCTURE

7. Does the message contain the purpose, details, and follow-through?

8. Do my ideas connect in a logical order?

9. Do I separate my ideas by paragraph?

10. Do I use headings and bullets where useful?

E-mail Checklist (continued)

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STYLE

11. Does the tone of the message suit the purpose and audience?

12. Is the message written clearly?

13. Is the message written concisely?

14. Is the message free of grammatical, punctuation, and spelling errors?

E-mail Checklist (continued)

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Use the email checklist before pressing send.


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Questions

List any tips from this webinar that you want to remember and put into practice.

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Thank You!

PHILIP VASSALLO, ED.D.Writing Management, Design, Instruction, and Assessment

21 Cori Street Parlin, NJ 08859-1719Office: 1-732-721-7577Mobile: 1-732-718-3361Fax: 1-732-727-7491

E-mail: [email protected]: www.PhilVassallo.comBlog: www.WordsontheLine.blogspot.comTweets: www.Twitter.com/PhilVassalloLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/PhilVassallo

Author of How to Write Fast Under Pressure, The Art of E-mail Writing, and The Art of On-the-Job Writing

To your emailing success!
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