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Top 10 Funniest �ingsJob Applicants Put on Their Resumes

"

Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes."

"

Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."

"

I am a rabid typist."

REPORT

"

My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend."

"

Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years."

"

My dream job would be a professional ballet dancer but once I figured out I couldn’t do that

I settled on Metallurgy."

"

I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise."

Tasks

accompli

shed

"

I was pushed aside so the Manager’s girlfriend could be parachuted into my job."

"

I am a pit bull when it comes to analysis."

"

I eat computers for breakfast."12

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