WHAT IS TOTAL FORGIVENESS
Talk 2,3
Youth Conference Oct. 2012
SUMMARY OF THE TALK
1) What total forgiveness is NOT2) What total forgiveness IS3) How do we know that we have totally
forgiven someone?4) The consequences of unforgiving
spirits5) How to forgive totally
ST CYRIL OF JERUSALEM ‘And forgive us our debts as we also forgive
our debtors.’ For we have many sins. For we offend both in word and in thought, and very many things we do worthy of condemnation; and ‘if we say that we have no sin’ (1 John 1.8), we lie, as John says. The offenses committed against us are slight and trivial, and easily settled; but those which we have committed against God are great, and need such great mercy. Take heed, therefore, lest for the slight and trivial sins against you, you shut out for yourself forgiveness from God for your very grievous sins.
(Catechetical Lectures, 23.16)
What total forgiveness is NOT
1. APPROVAL OF WHAT THEY DID
“No one, sir,” she said.“Then neither do I
condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now
and leave your life of sin.” Jn 8:11
2. EXCUSING WHAT THEY DID The LORD said to Moses, “How long will
these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them? 12 I will strike them down with a plague and destroy them, but I will make you into a nation greater and stronger than they. Nu 19:11,12
In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” Nu 14:19
3. JUSTIFYING WHAT THEY DID Justifying = making it right or Just
“Would you discredit my justice? Would you
condemn me to justify yourself?
Job 40:8
4. PARDONING WHAT THEY DID
Pardoning is to release the offender
form the consequences like
penalty.
5. RECONCILATION
that God was reconciling the world to himself in
Christ, not counting people’s sins against
them..... We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God 2 Cor
2:19,20
6. DENYING WHAT THEY DID
Do not repress (involuntarily = unconscious)
7. BLINDNESS TO WHAT HAPPENED
Blindness is voluntarily act
.. it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Cor 13:5
8. FORGETTINGFor I will forgive their
wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
Heb 8:12God has made the choice , we too have to
make the choice
Choice
ST. IGNATIUS BRIANCHANINOV
"Resentment or rejection of love is rejection of God. God
withdraws from a resentful person, deprives him of His
Grace, and gives him up to spiritual death, unless the person repents in good time so as to be
healed of that deadly moral poison, resentment.
9. REFUSING TO TAKE THE WRONG SERIOUSLY
We can not truly forgive until we see the actual thing we
are forgiving, and how serious it is. God did
so.
10. PRETENDING THAT WE ARE NOT HURT
Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For
the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Heb 12:2
“If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is
wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?”
Jn 18:23
What total forgiveness IS
1. BEING AWARE OF WHAT SOMEONE HAS DONE AND STILL
FORGIVING THEM.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement ...
Matt 18:23,24
2. IT IS A CHOICE TO KEEP NO RECORDS OF WRONG
.. Love keeps no records of wrong. 1 Cor 13:5
Total forgiveness is not initially a feeling , it is painful choice at
first. But later we feel it- and it is a good feeling.
3. REFUSING TO PUNISH
This is the essence of total forgiveness. It is when we give up
the natural desire to see them ‘get what’s coming to them.
It is mine to avenge; I will repay.
Deut 32:35, Rom 12:19, Heb 10:30
4. NOT TELLING WHAT THEY DID
Tell your father of confession and a spiritual guide for a therapeutic reason not for any other reasons.
I have been forgiven means:1) I won’t be punished for my sins2) Nobody will know about my
sins , for sins under the blood of Jesus Christ will not be exposed or held against.
Who steals my purse, steals trash;
‘Twas mine,’ tis his , and he has been slave to thousands.
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him,
And makes me poor indeed.From Othello, by William Shakespeare
5. BEING MERCIFUL
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown
mercy. Matt 5:7
The merciful man does good for his
own soul.. Prov. 11:17
6. GRACIOUSNESSWhen Jesus had raised Himself up
and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where
are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin
no more. Jn 8:10,11
7. IT IS AN INNER CONDITION
For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Matt 12:34
Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know
what they do.”And they divided His garments
and cast lots. Lk 23:34
8. IT IS THE ABSENCE OF BITTERNESS
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by
whom you were sealed for the day of
redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Eph 4:30,31
9. DECLARING GOD’S GOODNESS
For those who struggle with god’s right to allow
evil- and we all have done this- there still must be a genuine forgiveness on
our part, for any bitterness grieves the
Spirit.
10. FORGIVING OURSELVES
I know God forgave me but I can not forgive myself.
And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your
neighbour as yourself. Matt 22:39
ELDER SAMPSON OF RUSSIA
The drunkard, the fornicator, the proud—he will receive God’s
mercy. But he who does not want to forgive, to excuse, to
justify consciously, intentionally ... that person closes himself to eternal life
before God, and even more so in the present life. He is turned
away and not heard.
HOW DO WE KNOW THAT WE HAVE TOTALLY FORGIVEN
SOMEONE?
Joseph Example (Gen.45)
1. DO NOT LET ANYBODY KNOW WHAT SOMEONE SAID ABOUT YOU OR DID TO YOU
Then Joseph could not restrain himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, “Make everyone go out from
me!” So no one stood with him while Joseph made
himself known to his brothers. Gen 45:1
2. DO NOT ALLOW ANYBODY TO BE AFRAID OF YOU OR INTIMIDATED BY YOU
And Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come near to me.” So they came near. Then he
said: “I am Joseph your brother, Gen 45:4
3.WE WILL WANT THEM TO FORGIVE THEMSELVES AND NOT FEEL GUILTY
....Then he said: “I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you
sold me here; for God sent me before you to
preserve life. Gen 45:4,5
No denial
4. WE WILL LET THEM SAVE FACE
And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in
the earth, and to save your lives by a great
deliverance. 8 So now it was not you who sent me here, but God;
and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of
Egypt. Gen 45:7,8
5. WE WILL PROTECT THEM FROM THIER GREATEST FEAR
“Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph: “God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not tarry. 10 You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near to me, you and your children, your children’s children, your flocks and your herds, and all that you have. 11 There I will provide for you, lest you and your household, and all that you have, come to poverty; for there are still five years of famine.”’ 12 “And behold, your eyes and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see that it is my mouth that speaks to you. 13 So you shall tell my father of all my glory in Egypt, and of all that you have seen; and you shall hurry and bring my father down here. Gen 45:9-13
6. IT IS A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT
Seventeen years later
15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him.” Gen 50:15
19 Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. 21 Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. Gen 50:19,21
7. PRAYING FOR THEM TO BE BLESSED
And the LORD restored Job’s losses when he prayed
for his friends. Indeed the LORD gave Job twice as much
as he had before. Job 42:10 Then Job answered and said: “I have heard
many such things; Miserable comforters are you all! 3 Shall words of wind have an end? Or what provokes you that you answer? Job 16:1-3
WARNING!!!
Never go to a person you have had to forgive and say to him ‘I
forgive you’ this will be a counter-productive every time unless it is to a person that you happen to know is yearning for you to forgive him. Otherwise you will create a stir that you will not be able to cope with.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF UNFORGIVING SPIRITS
1. WE LOSE OUR FORGIVENESS
“This is how my heavenly Father will
treat each of you unless you forgive your brother
or sister from your heart.” Matt 18:35
2. THE HOLY SPIRIT IS GRIEVED
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you
were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind
and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph 4:30-32
3. YOU ARE LEFT TO YOURSELF
The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways,
But a good man will be satisfied from above. Prov. 14:14
lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.
2 Cor 2:11
4. YOU MAKE YOURSELF AN ENEMY OF GOD
1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from
your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You
fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive,
because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that
friendship with the world is enmity with God?
Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an
enemy of God. Jas 4:1-4
5. YOU LOSE YOUR ANOINTING’S POTENTIAL
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give
thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the
Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil. 1 Thes 5:16-22
6. NO AUTHENTIC FELLOWSHIP WITH THE FATHER
6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and
walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the
truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of
Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 Jn 1:6,7
DO NOT PLAY GOD BUT SEEK NEED
Necessary – Is it necessary to say this?
Encourage – will this encourage ? Will it make them to feel better?
Edify - will it edify? Will it build them up and make them stronger as a result if what you would say?
Dignify – will it dignify that person? That’s the way Jesus treated other people; he gave them a sense of dignity.
WHEN I CAN ADVISE OR ADMONISH
14 Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren,
that you also are full of goodness, filled with all
knowledge, able also to admonish one another.
Rom 15:14
HOW TO ADMONISH
Motive: The motive should be love not condemnation
Level of speech: I am a sinner like you and even I am the chief sinners.
Measure of speech: We measure everything to the absolute truth of the Word of God not on personal opinions.
HOW TO FORGIVE TOTALLY
1. Make the deliberate and irrevocable choice not to tell anybody about what they did
2. Be pleasant to them should you be around them
3. If conversation ensues, say that which would set them free from guilt.
4. Protect them from greatest fear.5. Keep it up today, tomorrow , this year
and next.6. Pray for them.
FIVE LEVELS OF PRAYER1) Duty : it is obedience , even if you are
doing it because you feel you have to.2) Debt : this when you are so conscious of
what you have been forgiven that you cannot but pray for your enemy.
3) Desire: now you have reached the stage where you actually want to pray for those who have hurt you.
4) Delight : this is taking desire a step further , it is when you love doing it.
5) Durability : this means what you took on as a life-long commitment becomes a lifestyle.