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Series: Happy for life Next| Index
Ten easy steps to happierlivingTake control of your own wellbeing with these10 keys to happier living. Thinkpositively, look
after your body, help others
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Mark Williamson
heguardian.com, Monday 3 November 2014 06.00 GMT
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Caring for someone else can boost your happiness. Photograph: Rex
Features
Were constantly bombarded with messages about
what makes for a good life. Advertisers tell us it comes
from owning and consuming their products. The media
associate it with wealth, beauty or fame. And politicians
claim that nothing matters more than growing the
economy. But do any of these things really bring lasting
happiness?
For thousands of years, people have looked to
philosophy, religion and grandmotherly wisdom for
answers to such questions. But in recent decades this
ancient wisdom has been tested by scientific research.
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Samaritans Radaranalyses Twitterto identify users atrisk for suicideWeb appidentifies phrasesand keywords thatmay indicatesomeone is'struggling tocope' and alertsfriends. By StuartDredge
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Man
omen
Scientists have found that although our genes and
circumstances matter, a huge proportion of the
variations in happiness between us come from our
choices and activities. So although we may not be able
to change our inherited characteristics or the
circumstances in which we find ourselves, we still have
the power to change how happy we are by the way
we approach our lives.
Action for Happinesshas identified 10 keys to happier
living, based on an extensive review of the latest
research about what really helps people flourish. These
are not 10 commandments, because each of us is
unique and what works for one of us may not for
someone else. They are simply 10 areas that tend to
make a big difference to peoples happiness - and
crucially they are all areas that are within our control.
1. Do things for others
Caring about others is fundamental to our happiness.Helping other people is not only good for them; its
good for us too. It makes us happier and can help to
improve our health. Giving also creates stronger
connections between people and helps to build a
happier society for everyone. Its not all about money -
we can also give our time, ideas and energy. So if you
want to feel good, do good.
Action ideas
Do three extra acts of kindness today. Offer to help,give away your change, pay a compliment, or make
someone smile.
Reach out to help someone whos struggling. Give
them a call or offer your support. Let them know you
care.
2. Connect with people
Our relationships with other people are the most
important thing for our happiness. People with strong
relationships are happier, healthier and live longer. Ourclose relationships with family and friends provide love,
meaning, support and increase our feelings of self-
worth. Our broader social networks bring a sense of
belonging. So its vital that we take action to strengthen
our relationships and make new connections.
Action ideas
Make more time for the people who matter. Chat with
a loved one or friend, call your parents or play with the
Sahra, 41 greychaus, 27
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kids.
Make three extra connections today. Stop to chat in
the shop, wave at a neighbour, learn the name of
someone new.
3. Take care of your body
Our body and mind are connected. Being active makes
us happier as well as healthier. It instantly improves ourmood and can even lift us out of depression. We dont
all have to run marathons - there are simple things we
can do to be more active each day. We can also boost
our wellbeing by spending time outdoors, eating
healthily, unplugging from technology and getting
enough sleep.
Regular exercise can lift you out of depression, but even if youre
healthy a burst of activity will boost your mood.
Action ideas
Be more active today. Get off the bus a stop early,
take the stairs, turn off the TV, go for a walk anything
that gets you moving.
Eat nutritious food, drink more water, catch up on
sleep. Notice which healthy actions lift your mood and
do more of them.
4. Notice the world around you
Have you ever felt there must be more to life? Good
news there is. And its right here in front of us. We
just need to stop and take notice. Learning to be more
mindful and aware does wonders for our wellbeing,
whether its on our walk to work, in the way we eat or in
our relationships. It helps us get in tune with our
feelings and stops us dwelling on the past or worrying
about the future.
Action ideas
Give yourself a bit of head space. At least once a day,
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stop and take five minutes to just breathe and be in the
moment.
Notice and appreciate good things around you every
day, big or small. Trees, birdsong, the smell of coffee,
laughter perhaps?
5. Keep learning
Learning affects our wellbeing in lots of positive ways. Itexposes us to new ideas and helps us stay curious and
engaged. It also gives us a sense of accomplishment
and helps boost our self-confidence and resilience.
There are many ways to learn new things throughout
our lives, not just through formal qualifications. We can
share a skill with friends, join a club, learn to sing, play
a new sport and so much more.
Action ideas
Do something for the first time today. Sample sushi,
try a new route, read a different newspaper or visit a
local place of interest.
Learn a new skill, however small. A first aid
technique or a new feature on your phone, perhaps.
Cook a new meal or use a new word.
6. Have goals to look forward to
Feeling good about the future is really important for our
happiness. We all need goals to motivate us and these
have to be challenging enough to excite us, but alsoachievable. If we try to attempt the impossible, this
creates unnecessary stress. Choosing meaningful but
realistic goals gives our lives direction and brings a
sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when we
achieve them.
Action ideas
Take the first step. Think of a goal youre aiming for
and do one thing to get started. Make a call, fill in that
form, tell others.
Share your dreams. Tell three people about an
aspiration that is really important to you this year and
listen to theirs too.
7. Find ways to bounce back
All of us have times of stress, loss, failure or trauma in
our lives. How we respond to these events has a big
impact on our wellbeing. We often cannot choose what
happens to us, but we can choose how we react to
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what happens. In practice its not always easy, but one
of the most exciting findings from recent research is
that resilience, like many other life skills, can be
learned.
Action ideas
Ask for help today. Confide in a friend, talk to an
expert, reach out to a colleague, ask a neighbour to lend
a hand.
When something is troubling you, do something you
really enjoy. Shift your mood and bring a new
perspective on the problem.
8. Take a positive approach
Positive emotions like joy, gratitude, contentment,
inspiration and pride dont just feel good when we
experience them. They also help us perform better,
broaden our perception, increase our resilience and
improve our physical health. So although we need to be
realistic about lifes ups and downs, it helps to focus on
the good aspects of any situation the glass half full
rather than the glass half empty.
Action ideas
Do something that you know will make you feel
good. Listen to music, watch something funny, get
outside or call an old friend.
Try to smile and say something positive or
constructive every time you walk into a room. Notice
the reaction you get.
9. Be comfortable with who you are
Nobodys perfect. But so often we compare a negative
view of ourselves with an unrealistic view of other
people. Dwelling on our flaws what were not rather
than what weve got makes it much harder to be
happy. Learning to accept ourselves, warts and all, and
being kinder to ourselves when things go wrong
increases our enjoyment of life, our resilience and ourwellbeing. It also helps us accept others as they are.
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Ask a friend what they think your good points are youll be surprised
at the lift it will give you.
Action ideas
Ask a trusted friend or colleague to tell you what they
think your real strengths are. Try to make more use of
these.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. See your
mistakes as opportunities to learn. Notice things you do
well, however small.
10. Be part of something bigger
People who have meaning and purpose in their lives
are happier, feel more in control and get more out of
what they do. They also experience less stress, anxiety
and depression. But where do we find meaning and
purpose? It might come from doing a job that makes a
difference, our religious or spiritual beliefs, or our
family. The answers vary for each of us but they allinvolve being connected to something bigger than
ourselves.
Action ideas
Feel part of something bigger. Spend time with
children, visit an inspiring location, gaze at the stars or
oin a club.
Be more charitable. Give others your time, offer to
help neighbours or friends, consider giving blood or
volunteering.
Mark Williamson is director ofAction for Happiness. For
more about the 10 keys to happier living, check out the
10 keys guidebookand take the happy habits quiz
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