Stock photo courtesy of
Microsoft
Beacon 2013 Winter Edition
Your Mother, as well as my Mother, will
appreciate this one. I thought it was
only appropriate to reflect on these
amazing women in our lives.
I'm sure you've all heard the saying,
"listen to your Mother, she knows best",
and if you haven't... you're welcome.
But I'm not writing to impart sayings, I
want to tell you, this is the piece of
advice I would have listened too.
Especially as Surviving Children, we
have things a little differently than
"regular" kids. You know the ones; the
ones that don't quite know what to say,
when you inform them how you lost
your loved one. While they may care
Listen to your Mother ~Victor Sutherland
and have well mannered intentions,
your Mother is the one that will be there
at the end, no matter what. When she
asks you do something, do it. If not
you'll find yourself in my position, years
later, saying to yourself, "I wish I would
have listened to my mom."
Mostly about school, go to school kids.
If that opportunity presents itself, take it
and dream big; for when you believe,
anything is possible. And after all, they
only want what is best for us. They know
best, trust me.
(Victor Sutherland is a Gold Star
surviving Son.)
Upcoming Events for
Surviving Families
• Date: 12/05/13
Time: 1700-1900
Location: JBLM
Event: Fallen Heroes
Christmas Tree Decoration
Party
More Info: 253-967-7501
• Date: 12/18/13
Time: All Day
Location: Nationwide
Event: Gold Star Wives Day
•Dine & Dial January 22:
Tax issues and filing issues
Survivors face.
Call will be at 8:00 p.m.
Eastern, 7:00 p.m. Central,
5:00 p.m. Pacific
Dial in Number:
1-626-677-3000
Access code:
7681905
The Dine & Dial began at
Fort Leonard Wood for the
Midwest Survivors in
MO/IL/WI/MI area, but the
concept has caught on
and now people in Europe,
Asia, and survivors in
Alaska, Hawaii and the rest
of the U.S. join in. They have
150 phone lines for these
calls.
Thank you, Mark Dunlop!!
• Gold Star Wives 69th
National Convention
2014, Seattle, WA
More Info:
www.goldstarwives.org
"It's not about having the skill to do something. It's about having the will, desire and commitment to be
your best." ~Robert Hernandez
Stock photo courtesy
of Microsoft
running through my mind. With the
radio on Cyndi Lauper begins to
sing “True Colors”. Now I have to
stop everything and listen to Cyndi
and the lyrics, I love this song, it was
used as background music at my
sons’ funeral, brings back so many
memories.
7th Annual Time of
Remembrance ~
Richland WA
Author; Shirley Schmunk
Ryki Carlson has been asking me to
write something about this year’s
Seventh Annual TIME OF
REMEMBRANCE event held in
Richland, WA, the 28th & 29th of
September.
As I set in front of my laptop, with
our “Office dog” begging for
attention, I have so many thoughts
Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501
“You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged, oh, I realize it’s hard to
take courage, in a world full of people. You can lose sight of it all and
the darkness inside you can make you feel so small.”
“But I see your true colors shining through, I see your true colors and that’s why I love
you. So don’t be afraid to let them show, your true colors, true colors are beautiful like
a rainbow.”
“Show me a smile then, don’t be unhappy,
can’t remember when I last saw you
laughing. If this world makes you crazy and
you’ve taken all you can bear, you call me
up because you know I’ll be there.”
“And I’ll see your true colors shining through. I
see your true colors and that’s why I love you.
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
I see your true colors and that is why I love
you, so don’t be afraid to let them show
your true colors,
true colors are beautiful like a rainbow.”
P. 2
Author:
Daniel H. Forsberg
Support Coordinator,
Survivor Outreach
Services
Marysville, Washington.
Why the Safe Survive
P. 3 Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501
I’ve heard it said that the reason we human beings tend to recall the bad stuff far more
readily than recollections of comforting thoughts, has to do with the possibility that those
painful “blurts” of memory hold true survival power and may very well be time tested tools for
keeping us alive.
If it is true, then maybe we ought to look at those unwelcome and unrequested, random
recalls of failure and hurt with a little more respect. Perhaps those anxious little shots of shame,
or perhaps embarrassment, or even regret actually help us make better choices when
moving forward into the future. What if those little thoughts can be dissected and shared; and
from time to time even be used to spare some of our loved ones untold measures of misery
and pain?
What an amazing twist of fate! Fully considered, our failures and pain can transform into
“lessons learned” and then count among the greatest gifts one human being can give
another: the ever applicable power of relevant INFORMATION!
Wisdom (as we learn over time) is often about having enough experience not to make a first
mistake first, by simply not repeating an old mistake again. How easy is that? “Man that hurt!
Note to self: Don’t do that again.” Or: “Been there, done that. This time I go around.”
Justly, that first mistake is usually the rightful property of the lean and green “eager beaver”,
joyfully bounding into havoc as a coiled bundle of enthusiasm and confidence, oblivious to
the full force of knowledge represented by the old adage “once bitten, twice shy”.
The “seasoned” beaver works differently of course and unfortunately, the “seasoning” of
experience is often NOT transferable.
We try to train our young to ‘look before they leap”, but ultimately we need their energy and
action; their audacity and luck; their work and passion and offspring and time. We need it all
to survive.
So, we train our children as best we can and then we pray. Their young bodies must leave us
physically as they venture off into a world of hazard and we carry them helplessly in our hearts
none-the-less, as they go out and serve in our interest and theirs.
It is good to be resilient. A sense of humor also helps and it is good to be flexible, because
ultimately training is a human thing. By that I mean sometimes training works well, sometimes it
kind of helps and sometimes it doesn’t work at all.
I hope it is not cynical to say this, but give it enough time and most everything fails: our
leaders, our systems, our structures… you name it, if people built it, then I guarantee that
surprise is in store.
Still, we do what we must. Would the Pilgrims have gotten off the boat if they knew what
waited beyond Plymouth Rock? Would they have even boarded the Mayflower if they knew
of the famine, death and disease which would whittle their ranks down to just a shaken few
after the first winter? Was there even any training available that rivaled the power of their
faith and will in terms of survival?
So, training has its limits and when it comes to survival, there are many factors at play; but you
can count on this: Experience is precious but not necessarily transferable. Second, it is good
to have people around that learn from their mistakes and figure out how to pass the lessons
forward. Finally, don’t ignore the cues from your subconscious mind, they often contain LIFE
SAVING POWER, offered randomly and regularly; with an internal pinch on the cheek, a slap
in the face or a kick in the pants to get your attention!
So the safe survive because they use information and experience as it avails itself; personally,
externally, informally or even mystically. They think, they test, they talk and they act; just like
you. Happy Thanksgiving!
.
P. 3
Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501
What I Learned About Life from a Snowman
It’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy.
Hold your ground, even when the heat is
on.
Winter is the best of the four seasons.
The key to life is to be a jolly happy soul.
We’re all made up of mostly water.
You know you’ve made it when they write a
song about you.
Don’t get too much sun.
It’s fun to hang out in your front yard.
P. 4
Cornstarch Clay Creatures Total Time: 1 to 2 hours
Age: school-age
This is a great "make-it-however-you-like
project.", and is easily taped to the back of
your cornstarch box. It takes about five
minutes to "cook," and the resulting
concoction is warm and pliable and the
perfect consistency for kneading, modelling,
and embellishing with stuck-on odds and
ends. The sculptures dry to a hard, pearly
finish. A cookie sheet covered with waxed
paper can serve as a drying rack (sculptures
take a few days to harden).
What you'll need:
2/3 cup salt
1/3 cup baking soda
1/2 cup cornstarch
How to make it:
In a small saucepan, mix the salt and baking
soda with 1/3 cup of water and bring to a
boil.
In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and
1/4 cup of water and stir well.
When the salt mixture boils, remove it from the
heat and add the cornstarch mixture. Stir
vigorously for a minute or two to thicken the
clay. Spoon it onto a sheet of waxed paper
and allow it to cool before working with it.
For a downloadable/printable copy:
www.spoonful.com/printables/lady-and-tramp-coloring-
page-and-spaghetti-maze
Lady and the Tramp Coloring Page and Spaghetti Maze
It’s Good to Laugh
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam!
Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?
Because it has 4 A’s and one B!
What runs but never walks?
Water!
Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501
Financial Literacy Resources
Federal Student Aid (www.FederalStudentAid.ed.gov) – U.S. Department of Education’s office of Federal
Student Aid’s website that serves as the source for free information, guidance, and tools for federal student
assistance.
MyMoney.gov (www.mymoney.gov) – The U.S. Financial Literacy and Education Commission’s website
dedicated to teaching the basics about financial education. The site offers valuable information on
budgeting, credit management, saving and investing, financial planning, financial aid, and loan obligations.
Federal Trade Commission (www.ftc.gov) – The Federal Trade Commission’s website to prevent fraud,
deception, and unfair business practices. This site gives examples of key questions to ask when considering a
credit counselor and collects complaints about consumer fraud and identity theft.
Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (www.fdic.gov) – U.S. government website that has articles on how to
become a smarter, safer user of financial services that will protect and stretch your earnings.
The Bad Credit Hotel (www.controlyourcredit.gov) – U.S. Department of the Treasury’s website that offers the
basics to maintaining good credit.
Potential Legal Resources for Survivors
JAG resources for children: Legal services can be provided to children on behalf of a Service Member and
the PNOK in a limited capacity. The Legal Assistance regulation, AR 27-3 paragraph 2-5 persons eligible to
receive legal assistance (8)(a): (8) PNOK (as defined in AR 600-8-1, para 4-1a(20 Oct 94)), executors, personal
representatives, administrators, and legally recognized estate representatives for matters relating to the
settlement of estates of- (a) Active Army or RC service members who die while in a military duty status.
Services are available for a child of a deceased member if the child has an ID card for entitlements; (this
would include legal services. A guardian of a child can always come on behalf of the child for benefits, with
the child's military ID. )
Note: JAG cannot probate estates and are limited to providing general legal advice on the probate process
and giving the client a referral list.
The ABA Military Pro Bono Project (MPBP): "MPBP will connect eligible, active-duty Service Members with pro
bono attorneys to assist with the resolution of civil legal issues. Referrals are made only by military legal
assistance (i.e., JAG) attorneys. If you need a referral from the MPBP, this referral must come from a legal
assistance office. Individuals cannot contact the MPBP directly for a referral. If someone needs legal help,
they should contact their legal assistance attorney, and he or she will determine whether they should be
referred to the MPBP. Many referrals are based on a "needs" test. For example one must be financially need
based) eligible for an MPBP referral. The JAG attorney may also consider other financial resources available
to determining financial eligibility. For more information: http://www.militaryprobono.org/about/
Public Legal Resources
http://www.americanbar.org/portals/public_resources/aba_home_front/directory_programs.html
For more information on Potential Legal Resources for Survivors contact WA State Survivor Outreach Services
Useful Resources and Tips
P. 5
WA Survivor Outreach
Services (SOS)
Joint Base Lewis-McChord
ACS Annex
Bldg. 2166, Liggett Ave & 12th S.
St.
253-967-7501
Army Reserve SOS
Marysville
13613 N 40th Ave.
360-403-2316
or
360-403-2338
National Guard SOS
Western WA
253-512-1353
Eastern WA
509-734-7052
Joint Base Lewis-McChord
Casualty Assistance Office
Waller Hall
Bldg. 2140, Liggett Ave.
253-966-5890
Joint Base Lewis-McChord
Retirement Services Office
Waller Hall
Bldg. 2140, Liggett Ave.
253-966-5881
www.facebook.com/SOSWASTATE
Stress Less Tip Corner ~ How to Handle the
Holidays
Decide what you can handle comfortably and let family and friends
know.
Make some changes if they feel comfortable for you.
Re-examine your priorities; greeting cards, holiday baking,
decorating, putting up a tree, Family dinner etc.
Consider doing something special for someone else.
Recognize your loved ones presence in the Family; burn a candle,
hang a stocking or play music to include them.
If you decide to do holiday shopping, make a list ahead of time and
keep it handy for a good day, or shop through a catalogue.
Observe the holidays in ways which are comfortable for you.
Try to get enough rest – Holidays can be physically and emotionally
draining.
Allow yourself to express your feelings.
AND:
Don’t be afraid to have fun!
Falling Snow
by anonymous
See the pretty snowflakes
Falling from the sky;
On the wall and housetops
Soft and thick they lie.
On the window ledges,
On the branches bare;
Now how fast they gather,
Filling all the air.
Look into the garden,
Where the grass was green;
Covered by the snowflakes,
Not a blade is seen.
Now the bare black bushes
All look soft and white,
Every twig is laden,
What a pretty sight!