1
If it is hard to
say “no”, say
“I do not want
to say yes!”
Patricia Morgan
3
You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to blame. Erica Jong
4
Between two
evils, I always
pick the one I
never tried before.
Mae West
May you hum
to yourself,
“I am so
beautiful,
to me. Oh!
Yes, I am!”
Patricia Morgan
6
The only time
a woman really
succeeds in
changing a
man is when
he is a baby.
Natalie Wood
7
When I learned
to breathe deeply,
I saved my
children’s lives.
Patricia Morgan
8
I figure if the
kids are alive
at the end of
the day, I’ve
done my job.
Roseanne Barr
9
What is the golden
rule for cows?
Do unto udders as
you would have
udders do unto you!
Groaning? Farm girl in me did not resist!
I was raised by
a mother who said,
“Dust? Why, that is
just clean dirt!”
Patricia Morgan
11
I will clean
house when
Sears comes
out with a riding
vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr
12
Laugh and the world
laughs with you.
Cry and you cry
with your girlfriends.
Laurie Kuslansky
Never forget,
you are a some-bunny
to someone.
Yes you are!
Patricia Morgan
14
If you can not
be kind, at least
be vague.
Judith Martin
15
The world’s biggest
joke just might be
how seriously you
take yourself!
Patricia Morgan
16
You are only
young once,
but you can
be immature
forever.
Germaine Greer
17
A Friend Is Like Good Panty Hose...
• Hard to find
• Supportive
• Always lifts you up
• Makes you look better
• Covers your behind
18
Tried on a thong
yesterday.
I’m still trying
to dig it out.
“Maxine” J. Wagner
19
When you’re not thin
and blonde,
you come up with
a personality
real quick.
Kathy Najimy
20
I discovered Victoria’s Secret! She has no thing for women my age, my size, my modesty . . . Patricia Morgan
21
If you can not be
a good example,
then you will
just have to be a
horrid warning.
Catherine Aird
22
I would
have been
much more
successful if
I had married
a wife like me!
Patricia Morgan
23
Never go
to bed mad.
Stay up and fight!
Phyllis Diller
24
The best Floor Play
there
ever was and is.
Patricia Morgan
25
It doesn’t matter what
you do in the bedroom
as long as you don’t
do it in the street
and frighten the horses.
Beatrice S. Campbell
26
There is no
sexpiration date.
AND you can aim
to become
Old Fart’s Tart.
Patricia Morgan
27
This is what I
think of
aging gracefully!
Patricia Morgan
28
29
Never forget; we have come a long way!
Photo Courtesy Glenbow Archives NA-206-27
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designed for women
403-242-7796
Patricia Morgan