Scum of the Earthby Matthew Bishop

As read by Jake Wallace

You wonder how in the world you got this job…

Hell, they even lived next door for seven years…

Uncle Tim’s Steak House, AKA The Hell Hole…

You are a busboy. The lowliest of creatures…

Waitresses are above you…

…or burn her. But you never do.

The cooks are nice to you…

Old Tim himself, one of the jolliest men you’ll meet…

That’s why you play the puppy…

Customers are not people…

Church groups are the worst…

Bruce is the pit bull of the group…

Today is your lucky day…

Sometimes you’ll do a good job…

…when some guy in flannel…

…sends the toilet to hell.

You love earning minimum wage…

What college will you apply to?