How to Talk to about the Hard Stuff: Effectively Delivering
Difficult Information to Staff and Parents
Rochelle Ritzi, MS, LPCDoctoral Counseling Student,
www.tots.pro
Megan Krizan, M.Ed, LPC Intern,
under the supervision of
Brandy Schumann, PhD, LPCS, NCC, [email protected]
Difficult topics with staff and parents A practical look at personality The staff/parent (personality) you dreadHow different personalities can compliment
or clashHow to deliver difficult information so it can
be received
What’s ahead…
Behavioral problems
Usually a combination
Difficult Conversations… Academic struggles
Complaints
Difficult Conversations…
Concerns
What is your uncensored reaction to feedback?
How would you like difficult information
to be delivered to you?
Personality
Rejection and hassles
Criticism and ridicule
Doing things that are meaningless and unimportant
Stress and pain
Lott, L (n.d.); Nelson, Lott & Glenn (2000);
Positive Discipline (2011)
What do you avoid and dislike MOST?
If you dislike most:
Rejection and hasslesChameleon
Criticism and ridicule Lion
Meaningless and unimportance
Eagle
Stress and PainTurtle
What animal are you?
The Chameleon
If you dislike most:Rejection & hassles
You probably...Say yes and mean noFear confrontationGive in easily Worry of being
disliked Try to fix everything
to make others happyWhine & complainWork hardSuper reasonableAre known to
accommodate and be super reasonable
Make lists
Pleaser
The Lion If you dislike most
Criticism and ridicule You probably…
Hold back your emotions
Boss others Are organized Argue Get quiet and wait for
others to coax you Do things yourself Cover all bases before
you act Complain, sigh,
procrastinate Get angry,
explain/defend Engage in physical
activity Put up a wall
Control
The Eagle If you dislike most:
Doing things that are meaningless and unimportant
You probably... Overdo it, take on too
much Worry about doing
better Become the expert Seek advocates Fight to prove your
point Can be stubborn Put down people or
things, including self Cry, scream, or complain
to others (about the absurdity of life/others)
Correct others Operate on “shoulds”
Superiority
The Turtle If you dislike most:
Stress and pain You probably…
Make jokes, use humor often Intellectualize Do only things you already
do well Avoid new experiences Take the path of least
resistance Leave sentences incomplete Avoid risks Hide so others don’t see
imperfections Overreact Complain, cry, scream Micromanage and spoil
others Don’t ask for help Tuck into your shell, attack
like a snapping turtle Close up your heart
Comfort
As a group, decide:
1. What concern/behavior/academic problem would be most difficult to deliver? Why?
2. Which staff/parent/animal do you like working with LEAST? Why?
Group with like animals…
To receive difficult information:Chameleons (pleaser) need:
Feel cared for Approval
Lions (control) need:Choices (help determine solution)To leadAsked how they feel Given time/space to process information
Sensitivity
Eagles (superiority) need: To be recognizedTo be thanked Told they are rightHelp getting started (with a small step)
Turtle (comfort) need:To not be interrupted For you to invite their commentsListened to Know that you believe in them/their childEncouraged
Sensitivity
Eagle and an Eagle
Chameleon and a Turtle
Lion and Turtle
Others?
Compliment or Clash?
Try it…
1.Child not ready for Kindergarten
2.Complaint against staff member (impatient with child)
Understand yourselfSend a message of careFigure out what is needed by imagining same
animal in your lifeUse “similar” instead of “I think he has” Learn about your student’s
parent(s)/guardian(s)Make notes after “meet the teacher” What “animal” are they?What do they need from you when hearing
difficult information?
To Deliver Difficult Information:
[email protected]@tots.pro
Therapy on the Square114 E. Louisiana, Ste. 201
McKinney, TX 75069www.tots.pro
972-886-8375 office
Contact Information
How to Help a Child Grieve I Thought I Knew My Child… Keys to Understanding
Your Child’s Behavior Discipline Can Be Positive! Learn How to Avoid
Pitfalls in Punishment How to Accept a Child When You Don’t Accept
His/Her Behavior How to Have Family (or Class) MeetingsPositive DisciplinePlay – Understanding the Language of ChildrenConnecting and Redirecting: Understanding
Misbehavior in Your Classroom and What to Do About It.
Other presentations…
Lott, L. (n.d.). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from http://www.lynnlott.com/tryit/websiteTopCard2.htm
Nelson, J., Lott, L., & Glenn, S. (2000). Positive discipline in the classroom. (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.
Positive Discipline. (2011). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from http://positivediscipline.com
Questions?
References