THE MONTESSORI SCHOOL OF THE BERKSHIRES – OCTOBER 2012
A recent Montessori listserv discussion revolved around talking to our children about what happens at school.
As Montessori parents we rely on an incredible amount of trust about what our child is learning. We don’t have many black and white paper products (quizzes, report cards, graded reports, tests) to indicate successes. But many of us have children who don’t share elaborate accounts of their daily learning experiences.
In discussing how to engage our children to reElect about the day, Susan, a mom of an eight-‐year-‐old and a seven-‐year-‐old reminded us to honor the child’s perspective and stay focused on the relationship.
I asked her if I could share her poignant account in the MSB Guidepost, and she kindly agreed. Enjoy. ~ Meagan
I think it is important that we not ask questions, like how was your day, or what did you do today. Of course, this depends on the child, as some children respond to questions and some just talk freely even without the questions.
I <ind some kids just shut down around the subject. Maybe it's
stress? Or something else. I can still remember the feeling when I was a kid and my mom would ask me questions. It was like if I answered a part of me would be sucked away. Like people who are concerned about getting a photo taken of them because a part of them will be lost. Maybe what I was feeling, what I perceived, was my mother's urgency in getting the answer. It was like I would be devoured.
I can see this sometimes in my own kids and their reactions to me. This is more prevalent with my daughter, than my son. And the crazy thing is that I get triggered by her lack of response. I want her to talk to me, and she just hides her head in a book to escape like a turtle in her shell. Cognitively, I think I know what's going on, but emotionally, it's hard to experience her need to escape.
I tend not to ask questions anymore, and especially not right when I see my children after school. That time is for connection. I need to collect
them; bring them back to me, so to speak. When they were younger, I would get down on one knee, give them my full attention (one at a time), give a great, big, warm hug and tell them how wonderful it was to see them. I would be 100% present for them.
Then if I could, I'd play with them, even in front of the school. Later, in the car, I might just be silent, or if they seemed open to it, I would tell them about my day. I might share something speci<ic, or tell them about something I did that was brave, or sad, or silly. I might share a mistake I made and what I did about it. I might
Montessori G U I D E P O S T
Away from “How was your day?”by Susan Minzter
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Listening to each other in the classroom
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This October, the Montessori School of the Berkshires officially kicked off its Annual Fund Campaign. The campaign has twin goals of raising funds to ensure continued programming next year, as well as broadening the MSB’s base of support within our school and local communities.
The Annual Fund Campaign provides an avenue for parents, grandparents, alumni, and other friends of the school to make contributions that directly offset operating expenses. A successful annual giving campaign helps keep tuition increases to a minimum and, unlike tuition, Annual Fund
contributions are tax-deductible.
The Annual Fund supports:
the financial aid program
faculty development and salaries for our exceptional guides
music, theater, and art enrichment programs
the carefully prepared environment of each classroom
field trips and community learning opportunities
our beautiful 40 acre campus and LEED-certified building
and our dedicated and talented staff
Like all independent schools, MSB relies on philanthropic support to help provide for the projects and programs that assist us in nurturing the children you have entrusted to us. We respectfully ask every MSB family to participate in the Annual Fund Campaign each year at a level that is personally significant. The volunteers on the Annual Fund Committee are working to ensure that we reach 100% participation from our parent community.
If you have any questions, please reach out to any Committee member, or contact Marya LaRoche, Director of School Advancement at: [email protected].
2012-2013 Annual Fund CommitteeMarc MaurinoCampaign Co-‐Chair & AE Class CaptainSharon MozianCampaign Co-‐Chair & CHII Class CaptainMary HanniganToddler Class CaptainGiovanna FessendenCHI Class CaptainRachel BeckwithElementary Class CaptainKay LothropElementary Class CaptainRob AkroydDevelopment Committee ChairChurch DavisChairman of the Board of Trustees
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see if they would like me to ask about their day. Or I might say, "How about you ask me a question, and then I'll ask you the same question back." There's no formula, but I found my kids were more open to sharing information this way.
I also think the quiet time just before bed is time is a great time for re<lecting about the day. Kim John Payne, from Simplicity Parenting, closes the night with "Thorns and Roses." These are composed of four questions:
1. What is the best thing that happened to you today?
2. What is the worst thing that happened today?
3. What are you not looking forward to tomorrow?
4. What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
You’ll notice the questions are in the stages of "good, bad, bad, good," leaving the child with anticipation of tomorrow. You can do this with other topics as well: What was the bravest thing you saw today... the saddest... the most amazing? Parents should answer these questions, too!
I <ind, as we can slow life down and be with our children (which is often dif<icult with all the outside demands and pressures),
these conversations happen organically. In moment of play, your child might share something with you. We just need to allow for these moments, for these conversations, to happen. Only asking questions, usually leads to shut down.
I think when we get attached to wanting the answer, our children can feel our desire. Once we're willing to let go of needing that answer, we're more likely to get one. When my child shuts down, and I'm feeling that knot of tension within me, what I think is really going on is that I'm wanting connection with my daughter, and I feel don't have it. I fear that this is what the teenage years will be like. I fear if she (or he) doesn't tell me what's going on, I won’t be able to help her or help her be safe in this world. Many feelings can come up in these moments, and once we can identify what is really going on, then we're not as attached to the outcome. And then we can better understand what's really going on inside our kids.
Really, it’s often the unexpected moments when kids will talk. Often it's when you're doing something else. Perhaps you are on a walk together. Or when you see something, it reminds you of a story from when you were a kid, and you share the story with your child.
Just this evening, I was sitting with my daughter at the
kitchen table. She was drawing, and I was doodling, and she started talking about how she got in trouble again for doodling in school. So we talked about doodling for a while. It was just one of those peaceful, lovely mother-‐daughter moments.
Then my husband and son called from another room. When my daughter and I came back to the table, I continued as if everything was the same. Yet it wasn't. The connection was broken. She said, "Mommy, your talking is interfering with my concentration," and walked over to get some headsets (no music, but to keep noise out) and put them on. I tapped on her headsets playfully to see whether she was in a playful mood. She wasn't. So I just sat there and continued to doodle. About a minute later, she started to add to my doodle, and then took the headset off and we continued. She just needed some time, I guess, to get back to that place where we were before.
Pausing and observing what is going on allows these moments to happen, and ultimately it allows us to better understand our relationships and our connections with our children.
For more information:
www.handinhandparenting.org
www.playfulparenting.com
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AUTUMN 2012 AT MSB
WE’VE ENJOYED GETTING BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS IN THE 2012-2013 SCHOOL YEAR!
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: 1) Abelli serving water during lunch. 2) Hannah-Sophia exploring in the garden. 3) Niilo “hanging” out during recess. 4) Raphael “hanging” out at the ROPES course. 5) Children’s House students gathered for Peace Day. 6) Parents enjoying the swings while waiting for the Peace Day song. 7) Claudia sharing lettuce harvested from the garden.
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PARENT GROUP NEWSThe Parent Group has taken shape based on the needs of the parent community. Over the past few months, we have been actively re-‐structuring our leadership, enabling more opportunity for volunteerism in distinct areas that will work for the greater good of the school and its supporting families.
We are pleased to announce the new MSB Core Teams: School Support Team, Greens & Grounds Team, Communications & Outreach
Team, Social Events Team, and Resources & Revenue Team (descriptions below). In the near future, we will be hosting a Fall Parent Group meeting. This will be your time to learn about all the ways you can become an active part of the Parent Group community.
We'd also like to express our enthusiasm about our Fall After-‐School Enrichment Series. There has been amazing activity happening between the hours of 3:00 and 4:00 pm, Monday through
Friday. We are so grateful to the teachers who are offering their knowledge and services. There has been something for everyone, from hand-‐stitching to comic strip making, robotics to explorations in nature. Thank you to all who are participating. We look forward to offering more after school enrichment in the winter and spring months. If you are interested in teaching a future class, please contact Jen Salinetti at (413) 243-‐6122 or <[email protected]>.
Mission: To foster community among parents and help parents support the school and its staff.
School Support TeamThis team is made up of the Class Liaisons and Chaired by the Class Coordinator. Class Liaisons work with classroom guides collecting cooking ingredients, ]lowers, or other materials. They assist guides to communicate volunteer opportunities and special events. Class liaisons are expected to be present at classroom socials to foster connections with other parents, and may coordinate additional social events on their own. Collectively, this team organizes the activities for Teacher/Staff Appreciation Week in the Spring. Greens & Grounds TeamThis team will enhance and beautify the school in various areas as needed. Several times a year, workdays are scheduled to clean out and plant ]lower beds, clear woodland trails,
and assist with garden upkeep. This team also coordinates with MSB’s Facilities Manager to organize work crews for special projects.
Communications & Outreach TeamThis team will foster school communications through the MSB Newsletter, website, the Parent Group Facebook Group, and other methods. The team collects updates from the other Team Leaders in order to compile the Parent Group contribution to school communications. The team is also responsible for working with the Director of Education to create the school yearbook. Social Events TeamThis team will plan school-‐wide events to build a sense of community. Annual and special events include: Back-‐To-‐School Family Potluck
Picnic, End-‐Of-‐Year Ice Cream Social, Family Game Nights, Parent Socials, and Family Outings.
Resources & Revenue TeamThis team will plan events or activities to raise funds for the Parent Group. All monies raised goes toward Parent Group sponsored activities and school gifts. The primary revenue generating activities supporting the Parent Group are the Winter Oasis Dinner Parties, passive fundraising programs (like Box Tops), and After-‐school Enrichment Programs. Other fundraisers may be conducted, in consultation with the school’s Advancement Of]ice. Past fundraisers have included: Flower Bulb Sales, Restaurant Nights, Berkshire Grown/Local Goods & Gifts Catalog, and Back-‐To-‐School Supplies.
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HEAD OF SCHOOL NOTESIt was a pleasure to have such a great attendance at our ]irst annual State of the School on September 19. I used a presentation software called Prezi which allows for a dynamic demonstration. However, unlike Power Point, it doesn’t have slides that I can share. So I will do my best to encapsulate the information here.
We looked back at the school’s evolution and equated it to Maria Montessori’s Planes of Development: Infancy (birth to six), Childhood (six to twelve), Adolescent (12 to 18) and
Maturity (18 to 24). We have moved through our infancy plane. With this phase of our development, we parallel Montessori’s description of the infant because in our ]irst three years we were the “unconscious creators” as we set up individual parts of the school. We then moved to our second three-‐year cycle, as we began to set up systems and functions using the individual parts created in the ]irst three years. We are now poised to transition into our next plane on route to maturity.
I highlighted four areas of growth for the school, ]inance, governance, enrollment, and facilities.
Facilities• Opened doors in 2006 at Aspinwell complex.
• A year and a half passed before we even had a sign on the building.
• Found our dream property in 2007.• Secured ]inancing in 2008 and began building process.
• Current facility has performed beyond our expectations.
• Added swing set, parking lot lighting, and, through a generous donation, supplemental heat and AC.
• Built and maintain gardens, chickens, and utilize campus for various family events.
Finance• In 2006 started as an LLC. • In 2007 began the transition to a non-‐pro]it entity.
• Fundraising entered the picture.• We formed a Board of Trustees which began ]inancial oversight.
• In 2008 secured ]inancing for the building project. Included both direct money from the USDA, 90% guarantee from the USDA, as well as various other guarantees.
• Established and built the ]inance committee.
• Have grown in growth and capacity by re]inancing our mortgage with a different bank resulting in $47,000 annual savings. We maintained the direct money from the USDA however the bank only required an 80% guarantee and fewer other guarantees.
Enrollment• In 2006 opened the doors with 20 students and ended with 34.
• In 2007 expanded into the elementary grades. Total students: 45.
• In 2008 expanded to two children’s house classes. Total students: 60.
• In 2009 maintained 60 students and began monitoring retention rates with 83% retention.
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Upcoming Events
Family Sharing & Half-‐Day (noon dismissal): Thursday, October 25 Staff In-‐Service (no students): Friday, October 26Admissions Open House: Saturday, October 27Admissions Open House: Wednesday, November 7Children’s House I Pancake Breakfast: Saturday, November 10National Philanthropy Day: Thursday, November 15Elementary Historical Dinner: Friday, November 16Children’s House II Pancake Breakfast: Saturday, November 17School Closes at 3 pm for Thanksgiving: Tuesday, November 20
To support our ongoing efforts to “be green,” please let us know if you would prefer to receive the Montessori Guidepost via email. Thanks!
• In 2010 jumped to 89 students with 75% retention. Added toddler and adolescent programs.• In 2011 increased to 94 students with a 91% retention.
Governance• In 2006, Meagan and I opened the doors as a “for-‐pro]it.”• In 2007 began the transition to the non-‐pro]it world and formed a board.• In our evolution of growth and capacity, we will continue to grow the board with diverse talents in order to share the responsibilities of our needed evolution. Over the years, the board has recognized that we needed to ]ind a board chair other than me so as to allow me to fully function as the Head of School and work more ef]iciently and effectively with the board in order to evolve us as a school and organization. We have progresses to this point and I am happy to announce that Church Davis has stepped into the Board Chair role and Carter White has stepped into the Vice Chair position.
These areas are not mutually exclusive of one another. They are all interconnected in intricate and speci]ic ways. A huge thank you to everyone for all of your continued support, interest and enthusiasm. The school would not exist without it. Todd Covert
Head of School Notes continued...
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PO Box 422Lenox Dale, MA 01242
It is with great sadness that we say goodbye to a wonderful member of our school community. A parent of two children in the elementary classroom, David Ripley passed away from a heart attack the morning of August 31.
David was a kind, intelligent, unique and extremely creative individual. His creativity and joy in life is well re<lected in his wife, Renee, and their two children, Craig and Linda. When I <irst met David during a parent sharing day, he told me he had worked as an acupuncturist and he struck me as a jack of all trades for building and making things. David loved working on his house, as well as on just about any kind of artistic or crafts project.
David was also the kind of guy who could talk to just about anybody as well as entertain with his wry sense of humor. If you ran into him on the street, he'd be just as likely to talk about the latest book, video game, music album, or project.
We miss you, David, but you are not forgotten. You live on in the minds and hearts of your family and friends.
In Memory of David Ripley by Aaron Eliassen