8/3/2019 Like a Leaping Salmon Swimming Upstream

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I entered her

my first experience

of an ecstasy 

complete

after clumsy gropingafter bits and pieces.

 A revelation

and a transport

so elemental.

 An intoxication

supreme.

Everything else

no longer mattered.

Here, consummation

and completion beckoned,

an end to all the

tasks;

to carry seed, and

find this one

to take it.

No room for doubts,

or fears,

or complications.

 A clarity 

emanating from the

 juncture of my loins

 with hers.

is moment followed

by weeks of worry,

certainty collapsed

by the weight

of consequences,

ill-conceived and

half-imagined.

Followed by repentance

and relief 

shadowed by shame

at callow cowardice.

Her opening more completethan mine….

Her physical maturity 

grounding her

as my lagging growth and

overpowering desire

struggled with

aff ection, and

a kind of promise

I could notbut fear.

It did not

“make a man of me.”

She, so young,

already a woman.

But it did mark the end

of my childhood,

this first blow 

at my great wall

of Ego.

Her Gift,

I squandered,

has been my first

and greatest hit

struck in my life

for the sake of 

my humility.

 A Gift

I can no

longer repay,

but only hope

to pass-on

somehow.

 Like a Leaping Salmon Swimming Upstream 

8/3/2019 Like a Leaping Salmon Swimming Upstream

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In her I met her

as leaping Salmon

swimming upstream,

 jumping falls and

thrusting ahead

in a glory of 

completion.

Her life,

for all its troubles,

over now,

her promise

did find

a home.

Swift with decision

aware of life’s

brief span,

she lived,

 while I was caught

in equivocation.

Her Gift

remained,

her Joy remembered,

leaping

like a Salmon

swimming

upstream.

 Antonio Dias 11.10.11

 Like a Leaping Salmon Swimming Upstream