Study Unit
Helping AbusedChildren
By
Susan Campbell Bartoletti
Reviewed By
Karen L. Snyder
About the AuthorSusan Campbell Bartoletti has published numerous short stories, articles, screenplays,and educational texts for children and adults. She holds a masters degree in English fromthe University of Scranton and a bachelors degree in English/secondary education fromMarywood University. She is the recipient of numerous writing awards. Susan presentlyteaches English at the North Pocono Middle School.
About the ReviewerKaren L. Snyder earned both her bachelors and masters degrees from Towson StateUniversity. She has served as instructor at Delaware Valley College, Catonsville CommunityCollege, and Strayer Business College, teaching such courses as business communication,English composition, journalism, curriculum development, and lesson planning. She wasthe public relations director for the Montessori School at the Maryland Center for Montes-sori Studies. Her work included developing the curriculum for the schools teacher trainingprogram, and managing all public relations and marketing activities for the elementaryschool and postgraduate teacher training program. She and her staff produced award-winning school publications.
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Approximately three children die each day in the United States due to child abuse or neglect,according to the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse (NCPCA). However, even moreastounding is the fact that this statistic has remained the same for more than the past 10 years!Reports of child abuse have continued to climb at a steady rate, exceeding 3.1 million reportedcases since 1995.
Although many in our schools and communities may wish to deny that such a problem exists, itstrue that child abuse continues to pose a major threat to the well-being of the nations childrenespecially our younger ones. The NCPCA reports that the vast majority of abuse cases involve pre-school-age children, with child welfare agencies accepting an estimated 933,000 new cases each year.
What do these statistics mean? They mean that parents arent the only ones responsible for theupbringing of their children, but society is as well. Some people believe that schools shouldntinterfere with the way that parents choose to raise their children. They believe that what happensat home isnt the schools business. Theyre wrongtragically wrong. Abuse hurtseven killschildren. Abuse makes it difficult for children to learn, sometimes damaging them to the pointwhere learning becomes impossible. When children are unable to learn or to reach their potential,the schools cant do their job. Obviously, then, abuse is very much the schools business.
Thats where you, the teacher aide, come in. You do play a role in the health and welfare of ournations children. In fact, school-age children often spend more time in the classroom than theydo with their parents. Thats why its critically important that you understand the nature of childabuse and your role in helping abused children. Often, in times of crisis at home, a child will lookto the teacher, teacher aide, child care provider, or school as a stabilizing factor. School can pro-vide a regular routine and secure environment essential to the young child while the family dealswith the circumstances of abuse.
Being aware is the crucial task of the teacher aide. Its up to you to fully understand the behav-ior of a child, and what circumstances might lead to a dramatic change in a childs overall behavior.Is the child having difficulty attending or interacting with other children in social situations? Or,is the child withdrawing from the group or acting out in class? Unless the teacher and teacheraide are able to explain these behaviors, the child might suffer from unneeded and unwarranteddisciplinary action, when what they really need is the support and understanding of adults.
This study unit begins by exploring the history of abuse and showing how society and adultsfrom ancient times to modern-day treated children. Then, although certainly unpleasant, welldiscuss the types of abuse: physical, sexual, emotional, or neglectful. The last category, neglect,accounts for more than 54% of todays abuse cases, as reported by the NCPCA.
As you read this unit, youll realize that being a parent is anything but easy. Perhaps youre a par-ent yourself. If so, then you know that it takes a lot of patience, creativity, and endless amounts oflove to raise a child. For some, basic parenting skills come naturally, while others must learn (or
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never learn) parenting skills. This study unit will demonstrate how to recognize the signs of abu-sive parents and to understand the reasons why some parents become harmful to their children.And finally, youll learn how to be sensitive to the behavioral and physical signs that a child maysuffer from abuse, and what to do should a child come to you for help.
When you complete this study unit, youll be able to
Discuss the history of child abuse and the treatment of children by adults from ancienttimes to today
Identify and define the types of abuse, including physical, emotional, sexual, and neglectful
Explain the causes of child abuse and recognize the signs of possible abuse
Recognize and help children who may suffer from abuse
Take the proper steps in reporting suspected child abuse cases
Its estimated that some 1,000 children die each year at the hands of their abusers. Think about it:thats the entire student population of some schools, completely wiped out by the plague of childabuse. As a teacher aide or child care provider, youll have a unique opportunity to influence thelives of the children you come in contact withmaybe even save their lives.
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HISTORY OF CHILD ABUSE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Ancient TimesThe Middle AgesLater Europe and Early AmericaToday
TYPES OF CHILD ABUSE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Definition of Child AbusePhysical AbuseSexual AbuseEmotional AbuseNeglectful Abuse
CHILD ABUSERSWHO ARE THEY? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Why Parents Abuse Their ChildrenImmaturityLack of KnowledgeStressUnsatisfactory Child-Rearing PracticesBehavioral Signs of Possibly Abusive ParentsIf a Child Comes to YouIf You Suspect AbuseReporting Suspected Cases of Child AbuseThe Importance of ConfidentialityWhat Happens after the Report?Relating to the Child, Parent(s), and Family
BACK TO THE CHALKBOARD ANSWERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
APPENDIX A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
APPENDIX B . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
APPENDIX C . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
EXAMINATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Contents
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HISTORY OF CHILD ABUSE
Based on what you read in the newspaper or see on television, you mightconclude that child abuse is a new disease, like AIDS. Its not, however.The abuse of children is as old as civilization itself. The sheer numbers ofabused children today may astound and sicken you, but the disease itselfis ancient. The further back into history we look, the worse we find thetreatment of children.
Ancient TimesThose who lived during the early centuries of civilization consideredchildren merely as property. No laws protected them, and they hadno more right to life, liberty, or happiness than animals. As a matterof fact, early civilians generally treated animals better than childrenbecause animals were worth something. In other words, they pro-duced labor and/or food, while children, on the other hand, werevalueless at least until they were old enough to work.
At the dawn of civilization, instances of infanticidethe killing ofinfantswere common. For one thing, children were a financial burden,expensive to feed and clothe. It was a case of survival of the fittest inthose hard times: There simply wasnt enough food for a large family.For impoverished families, then, the only way a family could survivewas by having fewer children. Since birth-control methods wereunknown, this meant killing the unwanted infants. In most households,the father determined whether or not a newborn would live. Parentswere allowed to kill their newborns any time within their first day oflife.
Many early cultures preferred male children, since they believed thatboys were less of a burden. Once partially grown, they could work thefathers land, or assist him at his trade; thus increasing the workingpower and hence the wealth of the family. But what could girls do?How many girls did you need to take care of the simple householdchores? In addition, there was the problem of marriage. A girl had tohave a costly dowry to find a suitable marriage partner. Often, too,girls became pregnant, bringing shame and dishonor upon the family.Consequently, a father might permit only one female infant to surviveto help about the dwelling. Parents would drown, otherwise murder,or abandon any others.
HISTORY OF CHILD ABUSE
Based on what you read in the newspaper or see on television, you mightconclude that child abuse is a new disease, like AIDS. Its not, however.The abuse of children is as old as civilization itself. The sheer numbers ofabused children today may astound and sicken you, but the disease itselfis ancient. The further back into history we look, the worse we find thetreatment of children.
Ancient TimesThose who lived during the early centuries of civilization consideredchildren merely as property. No laws protected them, and they hadno more right to life, liberty, or happiness than animals. As a matterof fact, early civilians generally treated animals better than childrenbecause animals were worth something. In other words, they pro-duced labor and/or food, while children, on the other hand, werevalueless at least until they were old enough to work.
At the dawn of civilization, instances of infanticidethe killing ofinfantswere common. For one thing, children were a financial burden,expensive to feed and clothe. It was a case of survival of the fittest inthose hard times: There simply wasnt enough food for a large family.For impoverished families, then, the only way a family could survivewas by having fewer children. Since birth-control methods wereunknown, this meant killing the unwanted infants. In most households,the father determined whether or not a newborn would live. Parentswere allowed to kill their newborns any time within their first day oflife.
Many early cultures preferred male children, since they believed thatboys were less of a burden. Once partially grown, they could work thefathers land, or assist him at his trade; thus increasing the workingpower and hence the wealth of the family. But what could girls do?How many girls did you need to take care of the simple householdchores? In addition, there was the problem of marriage. A girl had tohave a costly dowry to find a suitable marriage partner. Often, too,girls became pregnant, bringing shame and dishonor upon the family.Consequently, a father might permit only one female infant to surviveto help about the dwelling. Parents would drown, otherwise murder,or abandon any others.
Helping Abused Children
1
In ancient Greece, it was illegal to raise a physically challenged child,since people believed that the disability would be passed downthrough the generations. It would thus weaken the race of peoplegenerally. Consequently, physically challenged children often suf-fered an early death as well.
Sacrificing a child to the gods was a common practice in many earlycultures. You may recall the biblical story of Abraham and Isaac,whereexcept for divine interventionAbraham would have sacrificedhis first-born son. The Old Testament story of Moses in the bulrushesand the New Testament story of Mary and Joseph hiding the infantJesus relate how Pharaoh and Herod, respectively, ordered the masskillings of male children. Frequently, children were simply abandoned(Figure 1). Such abandoned infants were at the mercy of the elements,wolves, and the people who took them in. Unfortunately for most ofthose abandoned children who became adopted, their foster parentsroutinely victimized them. Often the foster parents deliberately maimedthe children by twisting their limbs, plucking out their eyes, or cuttingoff their hands or feet. Then they forced children into the street to beg.For some passersby, such cruelly abused children were an amusing sight.Others felt a degree of pity and dropped a coin or two into the beggars cup.
The Middle AgesLife for children wasnt much better during the Middle Ages, whichlasted from about A.D. 500 to about A.D. 1500. Childhood was over, ineffect, when the child became weaned. The standard of living in thosedays was very poor. People didnt yet understand the importance ofgood hygiene, and lived at the same level as their animals. As a result,epidemics of plague, typhoid, and other fatal diseases swept across
2 Helping Abused Children
FIGURE 1In ancienttimes, children wereoften abandoned withthe hope that someoneelse would care forthem.
Europe, killing both children and adults. Adopted, abandoned, and or-phaned children suffered miserably at the hands of the people who tookthem in.
Even families of some means treated children badly. Parents didnt wantto raise their children, turning this chore over to the servants in the ser-vants quarters. One favorite form of entertainment was to toss babiesaround the room, or even from one house window to another across analleyway. Needless to say, the results of such fun were often tragic.
Most male children were destined to learn a trade. For some, this meantbecoming apprenticed to a master. The master could treat his youngcharges any way he wished, with the result that many children wereseverely beaten or starved. Discipline was harsh, since most adults of thetime believed in the pious adage, Spare the rod and spoil the child.They further believed that children were born with the devil in them, andthat it was therefore the adults obligation to literally beat the hell out ofthem.
Later Europe and Early AmericaIn the 1600s, life in Europe continued to decline as a result of persistentfamine and disease. Europeans shipped thousands of children to theNew World to work, where they came under the austere authority ofthe Puritans of New England. At the same time, workhouses sprangup in Europe, and later in the American colonies. Orphaned or aban-doned children were sent to live and work in these workhouses, wherethe foulest kinds of abuse were common. In fact, conditions were so poorthat only the strongest could survive: 80 to 90 percent of the chil-dren died, most of them during their first year. Massachusetts alsoenacted the Stubborn Child Law of 1646, which permitted parents toput any disobedient children to death!
Families expected children to contribute to the family income as soonas possible, by working on farms, in factories and mines, and at vari-ous trades. The workdays were long, often 14 hours or more, and manychildren died or became horribly injured because, exhausted, they fellasleep on a job involving dangerous machinery. For instance, adultssent small children to clean between and under machines where adultscouldnt fit, or up into tall, cramped chimneys to clean them, often tosuffocate in the chimney flues. Childrens knees and elbows becamerubbed raw. Masters wouldnt allow children to eat so that they wouldstay small enough to work, while in the mines, children drove mules,picked coal, or operated the heavy gates and doors.
The barbaric treatment of children (and of people in general) had muchto do with the overall impoverished conditions of society. But a lack ofknowledge was also to blame. People of that time didnt understandthe nature of the developmental stages of childhood. Some even
Helping Abused Children 3
TrashHighlight
believed that children were actually miniature adults and thereforecapable of thinking and behaving like adults. When they didnt, pun-ishment was the answer. Flogging was common in both school and athome. It wasnt until the mid-1700s that the Frenchman Jean JacquesRousseau published a work that described the fundamental stages ofgrowth and maturity in children. Rousseaus book led to a newawareness of the nature of childhood and children, and to some long-overdue reforms. Childrens workdays got cut back from 16 to 10 or12 hours. By the nineteenth century, people also began to take a closerlook at the types of employment that children engaged in.
Conditions in the United States werent much better than those inEurope. While American factories and mines needed children, manypoverty-stricken parents didnt need them. In 1869, in New York City,there were so many abandoned children that Sister Mary IreneFitzgibbon and two other nuns founded the Foundling Hospital. Theyleft an empty crib outside the hospital so that parents could leavetheir unwanted children there. Rarely did a day go by that the crib re-mained empty.
In the later part of the 1800s, the infamous Orphan Train carriedhundreds of abandoned or orphaned children west. Any settlers whowanted the children could have them. There were no screenings orother tests to determine whether or not the new parents were suitable.
In 1874, the first major child abuse case changed the course of historyfor United States children. A child named Mary Ellen was found chainedto a bedpost in an apartment in New York City. She had been savagelybeaten and had nearly starved to death on a diet of bread and water.Neighbors had listened to her screams of terror and pain as her fosterparents beat her. It upset them, but what could they do? The fosterparents said that Mary Ellen belonged to them, and they could disciplineher as they saw fit.
No laws protected Mary Ellenor any other American childat thattime. Ironically, however, there were laws on the books to preventcruelty to animals, and someone alerted the Society for the Preventionof Cruelty to Animals about Mary Ellens predicament. Authoritiesfrom the Society successfully convinced a judge that, since Mary Ellenwas a member of the animal kingdom, they had a right to interfere inher case. When they removed Mary Ellen from her house of torture,she was so weak that she had to be carried out on a stretcher. Soon, aSociety for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children became organized inNew York, and by 1900, 161 branches had sprung up across theUnited States.
TodayIs child abuse more common today than it was in years gone by?Probably not. But then, we dont live under the same conditions aspeople did in ancient times or during the Middle Ages. Also, unlike
4 Helping Abused Children
those grim eras, we now have laws to protect children, as well asgovernment and private agencies dedicated to helping families learnhow to raise their children more effectively. Yet, when we considerhow much better our lives are today in comparison with other times,isnt it all the more difficult to imagine that people still savagely abusechildren? True, the history of abuse may be as old as civilization, andit may be a temptation to concede, wearily, that the abused childlikethe poorshall always be with us. However, today we know so muchmore about how to help both children and their parents that the elimina-tion of child abuse is at least a future possibility.
By 1968, all 50 states had enacted some form of law regarding thereporting of child abuse cases to authorities. Many states went beyondthat to form hotlinestelephone numbers that people could call, anony-mously, to report child abuse or to seek help for themselves. Manyagencies formed to help not only the victims of child abuse, but theirabusive parents as well. Schools and community agencies work togetherto identify suspected cases of abuse, to provide protection for the childreninvolved, and to help prevent further abuse from occurring. Parentsneed no longer feel that they are all alone in raising their children:They can learn to be more effective parents with the input of sympa-thetic professional counselors.
Helping Abused Children 5
At the end of each section in Helping Abused Children, youll pause and check yourunderstanding of what youve just read by completing a Back to the Chalkboard quiz.Writing the answers to these questions will help you review what youve studied so far.Please complete Back to the Chalkboard 1 now.
Match each item in Column A with one item in Column B.
_____ 1. Ancient Greece
_____ 2. Sr. Mary Irene Fitzgibbon
_____ 3. Society for the Preventionof Cruelty to Animals
_____ 4. Workhouses
a. Orphan Train
b. Represent early orphanages in Europe
c. Child abuse reporting laws in all states
d. She started the Foundling Hospital
e. Physically challenged children were illegalhere
f. Helped save the abused child, Mary Ellen
Check your answers with those on page 31.
Back to the Chalkboard 1
TYPES OF CHILD ABUSE
The subject of child abuse isnt a pleasant one. Its hard for many of usto imagine that there are people who deliberately hurt their children,but we know it does happen, and all too frequently. As you read theselines, someone, somewhere, is abusing a child. Perhaps that child livesnext door to you or is the child of a friend or relative. Perhaps he or shegoes to school with your children or is sitting in your classroom.Abused children come in all shapes and sizes, and from differentcultures. Some are bright and do very well in school; for others, learningis a constant struggle. You may see children who appear neatly dressedand otherwise well taken care of. Yet, you might learn that these childrenare indeed abused. Conversely, you may see children poorly dressedand even unkempt at times, leading you to suspect that they sufferabuse; yet, you may find that they come from caring homes.
Except in cases of flagrant evidence of physical violence, we couldntpick out the abused child from a crowd of children. You must firstlearn, then, never to make a premature judgment about a child or parentuntil you gather sufficient information to confirm your suspicions.Note, however, that you dont have to prove the abuse occurred; yousimply need enough information to warrant a suspicion. Well explainthis in more detail later on in this study unit. Also, there will be formalguidelines set up by your school district or day care center that youllhave to follow.
Definition of Child AbuseChild abuse is difficult to pin down because its hard to agree on adefinition of the term thats acceptable to everyone. For instance,many parents use spanking as a form of punishment. Sometimes, itsbecause they become frustrated with their children. Sometimes, its be-cause they dont stop to think of an alternative. Other times, its be-cause they dont know of any other method of discipline that can asquickly alter a childs behavior. But when does the spanking cease beinga reasonable disciplinary measure and become an act of abuse? Mostcases of physical abuse actually began as disciplinediscipline that,sooner or later, skidded out of control.
6 Helping Abused Children
The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (Public Law 100294)defines child abuse and neglect as the physical or mental injury, sexualabuse or exploitation, negligent treatment or maltreatment
Of a child under the age of 18, or except in the case of sexualabuse, the age specified by the child protection law of the state
By a person (including any employee of a residential facility orany staff person providing out-of-home care) who is responsiblefor the childs welfare
Under circumstances which indicate that the childs health orwelfare is harmed or threatened thereby . . .
The act defines sexual abuse as the use, persuasion, or coercion ofany child to engage in any sexually explicit conduct (or any simulationof such conduct) for the purpose of
Producing any visual depiction (pornographic materials, etc.) ofsuch conduct
Rape, molestation, prostitution
Incest with children
The act also includes as child abuse the withholding of medicallyindicated treatment for a childs life-threatening conditions.
There are two broad categories of child abuse: marginal and severe.Marginal abuse hinders a childs growth or development, and mayprevent the child from reaching his or her potential. Severe abusethreatens the childs health, welfare, orin extensive casesthe childsvery existence. In instances of severe abuse, agencies must interfereto protect the child from serious harm. They may need to removethe child from the home, or place a restraining order on the abusingadult enjoining him or her from having any further contact with thechild.
As an individual who has daily contact with children, you must learnas much as you can about child abuse, including how to recognize thetelltale signs of an abused child. There are four general classificationsof abuse.
1. Physical
2. Sexual
3. Emotional
4. Abuse due to neglect
All types of abuse are ugly, and all are potentially damaging tochildren. Well now take a look at each in turn.
Helping Abused Children 7
Physical Abuse
Case Studies
1. A three-year-old boy wets the bed. His father forces him into atub of scalding water. Burn marks cover his buttocks and genitalarea. The father refuses to wash the soiled bedding and doesntallow the boy to drink anything for days.
2. A nine-year-old girl steps onto a newly waxed floor. The motherbeats her with a belt for being so stupid. Welts rise on the girlsback and legs.
3. An eleven-year-old girl is afraid to go home after an especiallypoor report card. The last time she did poorly on a test, hermother blackened her eye, pulled out chunks of her hair, andconfined her to the house after school for a month.
These are all examples of physical abuse. Physical abuse is the easiestform of abuse to identify, because the children bring the evidence toschool with them. Sometimes, out of fear or shame, theyll try to hidethe marks of their beatings or torture under long-sleeved shirts orturtleneck sweaters. Such a child might even insist on wearing his orher jacket all day. But the marks are there if you know what to look for.
Signs of Physical Abuse
Evidence of physical abuse includes (but isnt necessarily limited to)the following.
Welts, burns, cuts, or scrapes
Bruises of various colors
Broken bones
Evidence of pulled-out hair
Untreated body sores
Evidence of other injuries at various stages of healing
Injury or other medical condition that obviously hasnt beenproperly or completely treated
Even if you dont detect any actual signs of physical abuse, you mightobtain some clues of its existence from the childs behavior. Note thatwhen a child acts up in class, its usually a sign that something iswrong somewhere.
8 Helping Abused Children
Behavioral Clues of Physical Abuse
Suspect the possible existence of physical abuse in a child who
Is always hungry, or eats only junk food
Lacks proper immunization
Appears dehydrated or malnourished
Seems to have neglected medical or dental problems (for exam-ple, bad teeth or the absence of the hearing aid or eyeglasses thatwould seem necessary)
Has a severe weight abnormality (is too thin or obese)
Fails to thrive for no apparent reason
Is unusually fearful of authority
Misses a lot of school, or who frequently comes to school late orvery early, or who leaves school late
Shows unusual fears (for example, fear of going home)
Craves attention
Is, habitually, unusually tired or unable to concentrate (Figure 2)
Acts up in class, or shows signs of being capable of physicalviolence towards others
Helping Abused Children 9
FIGURE 2If you have astudent in class who is tootired to concentrate, youmight be alert for signs ofphysical abuse.
Sometimes, an adult guilty of abusive behavior may provide clues.Often, the adult wants help, but is too afraid or too ashamed to askfor it. You might detect clues of possible abusive behavior from howthe adult acts and what he or she says. Such clues include the following.
Harshly punishing the child
Referring to the child in a derogatory manner, or using criticism,ridicule, or humiliation to hurt the child
Not caring about the child (or seeming not to care)
Giving conflicting stories about injuries to the child
Becoming defensive when asked about the childs health
Abusing drugs or alcohol, or both (Figure 3)
Note: Exhibiting some or even all of the symptoms above isnt proofof child abuse. Its essential that you realize this. However, your firstresponsibility is to the child. If you suspect an instance of child abuse,be sure to follow the procedures outlined by your school district orday care center.
10 Helping Abused Children
FIGURE 3A parent whoabuses alcohol or drugs mayalso be a parent who abuseshis or her children.
Sexual Abuse
Case Studies
1. A six-year-old girl pretends that her dolls are playing a lovegame, but it looks like sexual intercourse to her teacher. Whenquestioned, the girls sexual knowledge seems unusually broadfor her age. She reveals to her teacher that this is the game thather father has played with her. A doctors examination revealsthat there has indeed been sexual penetration.
2. A seven-year-old boy tells his mother that his basketball coachmakes him feel funny, and that he doesnt like it. His mother in-vestigates and discovers that the coach has been fondling her son.
3. A twelve-year-old girl is frequently absent from school. Quiet andwithdrawn in class, she rarely associates with her classmates. Shefinally confides to the school nurse that she has an uncomfortablerash in her genital area. Upon investigation, its discovered thather mothers live-in partner routinely abuses her.
4. Someone offers a thirteen-year-old boy money if hell pose nakedfor photographs.
Note that sexual abuse can be nonphysical: children can be subjectedto indecent exposure, obscene phone calls, or the attentions of voyeurs(peeping Toms). It might be physical, and involve fondling andintercourse. It might also be violent, and include rape, beatings, orother manifestations of physical abuse.
Parents warn their children to avoid strangers, and perhaps this kindof abuse would be easier to comprehend if we knew that only sickstrangers were responsible. Unfortunately, this isnt the case. Mostinstances of sexual abuse occur within the family; only 3 to 10 percentof all cases involve total strangers. Fathers or stepfathers commit 70 to80 percent of all sexual abuse, with the average age of the abused childbeing 11 years. Although there are instances where the abuse is homo-sexual in nature, the majority of cases involve heterosexual abuse.
The change in family structures over the past few years resulted in amuch greater percentage of stepparents and live-in partners in todayshouseholds. Although the wicked stepparent image is an unfairstereotype for the many good, caring stepparents, the statistics arenevertheless cold and clear. These family members commit adisproportionate amount of the abuse. Perhaps the worst part of thisnightmare for children is that sexual abuse is rarely a one-time event.Usually, the abuse continues over a long period of timeoften, for years.
Sexual abuse is hard to detect because sexually abused children usuallydont come to school with telltale welts or bruises on their arms or backs.Sexual abuse doesnt usually involve that kind of physical violence.
Helping Abused Children 11
Since the molester desires the childs cooperation, he or she will usuallybe gentle. Thus, what might start out as an innocent back rub maydevelop into much more. Often the adult will convince the child tokeep their actions a secret, or even convince his or her victim that thisis what people who love each other do.
Sometimes, the children have no idea that this kind of behavior isabnormal, since they dont know whats legal or illegal. Abuserscan even lead their victim to believe that it happens in many otherhomes. Children comply with the wishes of their molesters becausetheyre trained to listen to adults. Children believe that adults want toand will take care of them, or because the abuser promised them somesort of reward. They might also be afraid of physical punishment ifthey refuse, or that the abuser will withhold love.
Clues to Sexual Abuse
There are, of course, instances where the sexual abuser isnt a familyfriend or relative. When the abuser is a stranger, he or she will probablyabuse a particular child only once, but will continue to abuse a seriesof other children on a one-time basis.
Sexual abuse can happen to any child at any timeat home, in a publicplace, or in a deserted area such as a public park or beach. So howwill you know if a child under your care suffers from sexual abuse?Again, there will probably be clues of either a physical or behavioralnature. Physical clues include frequent bacterial infection, genitalrash, chronic vaginal discharge, and/or vaginal or rectal bleeding.
The behavioral clues to sexual abuse include the following.
Change of behavior in class (hostility to authority; angry,disruptive, or aggressive behavior; refusal to do schoolwork;extreme passivity or withdrawn behavior)
No interest in friends, preferring to be a loner (Figure 4)
Suicide attempts
Fear of authority
Fatigue or inability to concentrate
Frequent absence from gym class
Bragging about sexual experiences, including the blurting out ofblatantly sexual remarksespecially when the remarks seem in-appropriate to the childs age or circumstances
Drawing pictures or making gestures suggestive of sexualexperience
(In older children) Actual sexual promiscuity or prostitution
12 Helping Abused Children
Note: Again, the clues just mentioned may indicate that a child hasbeen or is being sexually abused. However, the clues may indicateother problems that have nothing to do with sexual abuse. Dont everstate that a child is being sexually abused, even if you think you knowfor sure. State only what you suspect, and never charge a parent withan unproved crime. Be sure to follow the guidelines established byyour school district or day care center.
Emotional Abuse
Case Studies1. The mother of a ten-year-old girl shaves her daughters head
because the child has neglected to wash her hair as ordered.
2. The parents of an eight-year-old boy constantly tell him that hesstupid and worthless. Consequently, hes too timid to raise hishand in class to volunteer an answer or opinion.
3. A father forces his five-year-old son to wear dresses because theboy exhibits feminine traits.
4. An eleven-year-old boy fights back tears because his father callshim a sissy or a girl when he cries.
Helping Abused Children 13
FIGURE 4A studentwho prefers to be aloneand has no friends, maybe suffering from sexualabuse.
Emotional abuse may not show up on a childs body the way physicalviolence does, but its effects make scars nonetheless. The stoopedshoulders of children who believe that theyre worthless or the blankstares of children who no longer believe in themselves are the scars ofemotional abuse. As one doctor said, Broken bones and bruises heal.Its everything else that goes on in these childrens lives that they haveto contend with.
Consider the way some parents talk to their children. How manytimes do such children have to hear that theyre stupid, clumsy,worthless, or bad before they cave in and believe that its all true?(Adults dont lie, right?) Ridicule, humiliation, cutting sarcasm, andsimilar demeaning behavior is essentially as damaging asand per-haps more demoralizing thanphysical abuse. Many parents donteven seem to realize what theyre doing to their childrenthat theyretilting the mirror in which their children see themselves. Such parentsneed to learn how to use some form of positive communication thatwont damage their childrens self-esteem.
Signs of Emotional Abuse
Unless you overhear the actual words a parent uses to upset his or herchild, you might not be able to detect the signs of emotional abuse.Nevertheless, you should be able to recognize a child who has a poorself-image or low level of self-confidence. Look for the child who
Has difficulty accepting praise
Sets low goals for himself or herself, or is afraid to tackle newprojects
Accepts failure readily
Uses a lot of negative self-talk
Indicates that he or she is worthless, and can never do any-thing right
Has a problem making eye contact
You can help these children (and all children), by using praise andpositive reinforcement. Perhaps you can establish a plan for rewardingthem when they accomplish small tasks or show improvement incertain areas. Dont get too patronizing, though. Most children cansee through gushing language. Above all, dont use ridicule orsarcasm when youre communicating with children, even if youreonly trying to be humorous. Such an approach can virtually turnoff most children, and invite a lively comeback from the more out-spoken ones. This puts you in a no-win situation. As an adult, youhold the ultimate power, but youll lose the confidence of most of thechildren if you force your power on children.
14 Helping Abused Children
Plan to discuss classroom behavior in a one-to-one situation wheneverpossible. Concentrate on the childs behavior or performancewhat heor she has done or said. Remember, if you treat a child with respect, thechild will most likely treat you with respect. It might take a while toearn the childs confidence, but its more than worth the wait.
Neglectful Abuse
Case Studies
1. A mother has her seven-year-old son watch his younger brothersand sisters (ages 18 months, three years, and five years) whileshe visits the bar across the street. He feeds the baby dry cereal,then gives each of the others a bag of potato chips and a can ofsoda for their supper.
2. A mother who suffers from lengthy bouts of depression frequentlyrequires her nine-year-old daughter to stay home to take care ofher. The girl falls behind in her schoolwork, reads two yearsbelow grade level, and will probably repeat fourth grade.
3. A six-year-old boy cant see the blackboard in school. The schoolnurse screens his vision, and reports to the boys father that hisson needs glasses. The father refuses to buy the glasses, claimingthere isnt enough money. The nurse reminds him that theres alocal clinic that will provide glasses at little or no cost, but thefather never gets around to taking his son there.
4. A twelve-year-old boy has teeth so badly rotted that his breathpresents a classroom problem. However, his parents refuse to seekdental care for him.
The form of child abuse we just presented is neglect. While it doesntleave the body bruised and scarred, neglect-related abuse does impaira childs emotional and physical development. The actual number ofcases of abuse due to neglect is impossible to determine. Many studiesof child abuse dont even consider neglect. Yet, some experts claimthat neglect-related abuse is four to five times more common than anyother type of child abuse.
Some experts believe that a definite correlation exists between neglectand povertythat in other words, the heads of poor and impoverishedfamilies are more likely to neglect their children. However, otherauthorities disagree, insisting instead that all economic levels have(and use) the capability to show indifference to their childrens needs.(Well take a closer look at the various types of parents who abuse theirchildren and the reasons why later.)
Helping Abused Children 15
There are four kinds of child neglect amounting to or having thepotential for abuse. We describe them as physical, medical, emo-tional, and educational neglect, and well examine each in turn.
Physical Neglect
Physical neglect occurs when a parent or parents fail to provide theirchildren with the basic necessities: food, clothing, shelter, supervision,hygiene, and a reasonable amount of protection from harm. If parentsleave young children unsupervised, or expect a seven-year-old to carefor younger brothers and sisters, the parents might be guilty of physicalneglect. Since children also, of course, require adequate nutrition,severely underweight or overweight youngsters may become victimsof physical neglect.
Suspect physical neglect in children who
Wear clothing thats inadequate for the climate
Show the signs of poor hygiene (havent washed in days)
Have head lice or other parasites, especially if the condition goesuntreated
Are severely overweight or underweight (a thin child might notbe getting enough to eat; an overweight child might be existingon starch or junk food)
Steal lunches from other children, consistently ask for secondsor leftovers, or whose lunches are obviously unsatisfactory froma nutritional point of view
Are left unsupervised or without adequate supervision
Medical Neglect
Medical neglect occurs when parents dont provide appropriate medicalor dental treatment for conditions that doctors brought to their attention.(Note that there are sometimes deep religious reasons for this.) Exam-ples include medical treatment for a specific illness, immunizations toprotect against disease, dental care, eyeglasses, and hearing aids.Signs of medical neglect may appear in children who
Lack proper immunization
Dont have periodic physical and/or dental exams
Are chronically ill or listless
Complain often of feeling ill
Cant see whats written on the blackboard
16 Helping Abused Children
Have difficulty hearing
Have obvious ailments or need dental attention
Fail to thrive for no apparent reason
Even in the case of very poor families, theres no excuse for seriousmedical neglect. There are agencies that the poor can turn to.
Emotional Neglect
Children who suffer from emotional neglect may have all of theirphysical needs provided. They may have adequate housing, plenty offood, and all the other necessities. Yet they fail to thrive becausetheyre not getting the love and attention that are as vital as proteinand sunshine for healthy growth. They might act out. Acting outrefers to any type of behavior thats unusual for a particular child. Itcan mean being overly aggressive, underachieving, showing off, beingdisobedient, hard to get along with, shy, withdrawnany type ofbehavior thats different from a childs norm. Of course, some ofthese character traits are typical of perfectly normal children. Themore you work with children, however, the more easily youll detectwhen a childs behavior crosses over into the unusual, and thiswill alert you to the fact that something, somewhere, is wrong. Theseare the youngsters that frequently become problem children inschool, getting into trouble and showing no desire to succeed.
Signs of emotional neglect may be evident in children who
Participate in delinquent behavior
Become sexually promiscuous
Experience failure in school
Join gangs
Do drugs and/or alcohol
Destroy or deface property
Educational Neglect
All parents have a clear responsibility for their childrens education.Its true that at some point children must make their own decisionsabout their education, and that these decisions are sometimes flawed.Parents who fail to see that their children develop a respect for learningand take advantage of available educational opportunities are neglectingtheir children. And such children often end up in the ranks of theilliterate. Certainly, such neglectthough less glaring than the physicaland medical varietiesis equally abusive to the concept of parentalresponsibility. Parents are educationally neglectful when they show
Helping Abused Children 17
no concern for student progress. Typically, they fail to provide thekind of structured home life that encourages a child to learn. Thereslittle, if any, contact with the school; such parents often believe thateducation is the responsibility of the school.
You should suspect the possibility of educational neglect in childrenwho
Have little or no respect for knowledge
Feel no desire or responsibility to learn
Are frequently absent from school
Have few positive home experiences to share with classmates
Look for educational neglect in those parents who have limited intel-lectual capacity, and therefore cant offer much stimulation to theirchildren. Such parents show little or no interest in their childrensprogress.
Its hard to change the attitudes of adults, of course, but perhaps youcan succeed with educationally neglected children by helping themset goals for themselves. Set up a reward system for each goal thatthey achieveand be sure to celebrate the achievement with them.
18 Helping Abused Children
Indicate what type of abuse you would suspect for each of the following clues.
1. Moe is always eating junk food. _______________________________________________
2. Larry has become extremely passive. __________________________________________
3. Bobbie steals meals from other children. _______________________________________
4. Anita has difficulty accepting praise. __________________________________________
5. Eddies breath is always bad. _________________________________________________
(Continued)
Back to the Chalkboard 2
CHILD ABUSERSWHO ARE THEY?If you stood in a crowd of people, would you be able to look aroundyou and pick out the child abusers? Probably not, since child abusersrepresent all ethnic groups, religions, races, and socioeconomic levels(Figure 5). Child abusers come from wealthy, middle-class, lower-class,and impoverished families. Gender doesnt matter, either. Instances ofabuse are just about evenly divided between male and female. (Theressome evidence that mothers tend to abuse daughters, and fathers tendto abuse sons.) Also, the parent who spends the most time with thechild is more likely to be the abuser.
Because child abuse is such a hideous offense, its tempting to dis-miss people who abuse children as either monsters or mentally ill.In actuality, however, this isnt the case. Most abusive parents actuallylove their children, and many believe that theyre raising their childrenin the best possible way.
In many situations, given timely patience and intervention, abusiveparents can learn how to raise their children effectively without resortingto abuse. Its estimated that only 10 percent of abusive parents are soemotionally unstable or mentally ill that they cant learn better parentalhabits. Children of this 10 percent are in definite risk of being harmedor even killed and must be removed from the troubled home. In theother 90 percent of the cases, however, agencies can try to work withthe parents to resolve the problem.
Helping Abused Children 19
6. Billy shows signs of being capable of violence toward others.
7. Malcolm has a problem making eye contact. ____________________________________
8. Betty prefers to be alone. ____________________________________________________
9. Jackie is very destructive. ____________________________________________________
10. Peggy can share very few positive home experiences with the other children.__________________________________________________________________________
Check your answers with those on page 31.
Back to the Chalkboard 2
Theres no sure way to pick a child abuser out of a crowdbut thereare two things that all abusers have in common. They hurt children,and they need help.
Why Parents Abuse Their ChildrenWould you apply for the following job?
Probably not. But millions of adults already have just such a job. Wecall it parenting, or raising a family.
Being a parent is one of the hardest, longest, and most important jobsany adult will ever face. Yet, most parents have had little or no trainingfor it. Theyve never learned how to be a parent or how to raise a family,and sometimes this unfortunate lack of knowledge results in childabuse.
Weve already reviewed many different forms of child abuse. Youveseen how parents who abuse their children fail to meet the physical,psychological, social, and emotional needs of their children. Youvealso learned that there are no clear stereotypes of parents who abuse
20 Helping Abused Children
FIGURE 5You probablywouldnt be able to pickout a child abuser from acrowd of people.
Help Wanted
24-hour day, no paid vacations or holidays. No sick time. Applicantmust be courageous, tireless, creative, and patient. Duties includeteaching, nursing, supervisory care, cooking, laundry service, chauffeurduty, minor household repairs. No formal training or experiencerequired. No salary.
their children. Such adults are of all ages, and from every imaginabletype of background. In fact, the potential to abuse a child lurksin virtually every one of us, given the right circumstances. It makesone wonder, then: Why do some people abuse their children whileothers dont? This is a question involving so many factors that wecant really try to begin to answer it. Nevertheless, certain charactertraits or characteristics occur with such regularity that theyre worthour consideration.
Immaturity
Case Studies
1. A mother, age 32, beat her ten-week-old baby because the babywouldnt stop crying. She said it was the babys fault that shehas lost her job. The baby woke up during the night and cried,and the mother couldnt get any sleep. When she showed up atwork late for the fifth time, she got fired.
2. A father, age 19, got reprimanded by his boss at work. Frustrated,he returned home to find his three-year-old sons toys scatteredover the floor. Unable to vent his anger in a more mature fashion,he beat the boy with his belt.
Abusive parents are often emotionally immature. Granted, immaturityis a broad term that defies exact definition; nevertheless, we can makecertain generalities. Immature adults blame others for their mistakes ormisfortunes, typically refusing to take responsibility for their actions.Often, they cant deal with responsibility at allespecially the awesomeresponsibility of parenthood. They also have trouble dealing withreality, and want to complain bitterly when things dont work out theway they want. Frustrated, they become angry or sulk. In addition,immature parents often expect their children to fulfill their emotionalneeds. When their children are unable to do this, the parents becomeangry, and often this anger leads to abuse.
Lack of Knowledge
Case Studies1. A mother beats her daughter because the child is unable to
memorize their telephone number. The mother doesnt realizethat the minds of many four-year-olds arent sufficiently developedto remember seven digits.
2. A father spanks his 1 1 2-year-old son every time the boy has anaccident. He expects the boy to be toilet-trained, and thinks thatthe child is just being stubborn. The father doesnt realize thatmost children arent physically ready for toilet-related independ-ence at that age.
Helping Abused Children 21
3. A young mother doesnt realize that her baby needs to have herdiapers changed frequently. Consequently, the baby develops asevere diaper rash.
Some adults simply just dont know enough about children to raise themeffectively. These adults expect too much of their children because theydont understand how a child grows, both physically and intellectually.Some parents are also sometimes of limited natural intelligence. Theyneed to learn how to care for their children, from the smallest detailson up. They also need to learn how to help their children to learn andgrow.
Parents suffering from such a lack of knowledge may abuse theirchildren without realizing it. They dont realize that children wontbecome toilet-trained before theyre physically ablesometimes aslate as two or even three years of age. They need to learn how todiscipline their children without resorting to excessive force.
Parents also need to understand what to expect from their children atvarious ages. A child with a low-range learning potential may not beable to meet his parents expectations in school. Similarly, a child maynot be able to beor interested in beingthe athlete that his or herfather or mother was. Many children are simply doing the best thatthey can dojust like a lot of adults.
Stress
Case Studies
1. A 16-year-old mother beats her six-month-old baby because shesconvinced that the baby doesnt love her. If the baby did, themother reasons, he wouldnt cry when she holds him. Actually,the mother is experiencing stress because the babys father hasrecently abandoned her for another woman.
2. A 32-year-old father loses his job. That night, his eight-year-oldson whines for a new toy that he has seen advertised on television.The father explodes, overreacts, and beats the boy.
Some adults become abusive because of stress either within the familyor outside the home. Perhaps the parent has a lot of stress at work,where he or she faces problems that are difficult to cope with.Children, then, can become easy targets. After all, they dont fightback, and they usually dont tell. Also, because they sometimes askfor more than their parents can give, their disappointment oftenbecomes the final straw on the camels back of their all too humanparentsendurance.
22 Helping Abused Children
Unsatisfactory Child-Rearing Practices
Case Studies
1. A mother bites her two-year-old in order to teach him not tobite.
2. A father holds his 18-month-old babys hand over a hot burnerto teach the boy not to touch the burner. The boy suffers third-degree burns.
3. A father believes his twelve-year-old daughter is lying to him.He burns the back of her arm with a cigarette in order to getthe truth out of her.
Many abusive parents resort to such unsatisfactory child-rearingpractices because they dont know any other way to discipline theirchildren. Many times, they use the same methods that their parentsused on them. Also, these parents generally have low self-esteem, andoften have little social contact with others. For the most part, abusiveparents arent monsters, but they are people in desperate need of help.
Behavioral Signs of Possibly Abusive ParentsAlthough you cant identify a potential child abuser simply by appear-ance, race, or income level, there are some behavioral characteristicsthat might indicate a tendency towards child abuse. The characteristicsinclude the following.
Ignoring or appearing indifferent to the needs of their children
Indicating that their child is bad or impossible
Indicating that their child is no good (often, just like a hatedrelative)
Appearing irrational, or being mentally challenged
Appearing cruel or sadistic
Showing little or no remorse for hurtful actions
Demonstrating a tendency to lose control
Blaming a childs injury on the child or another person (Figure 6)
Failing to bring the child in for medical assistance or similar care
Helping Abused Children 23
Abusing drugs or alcohol
Lying to conceal the reason for a childs injury
Appearing to treat one child differently than others
Admitting that the child makes him or her upset or nervous
Exhibiting unrealistic expectations for the child
Coming from a family with a history of abuse
If a Child Comes to YouMany children will confide in someone about the abuse theyreexperiencing; often, they come forth after being exposed to a school-sponsored child abuse prevention program. How would you act if achild confided in you that he or she suffered abuse? What would yousay? What would you do?
24 Helping Abused Children
FIGURE 6Kathy brokeher arm when she felldown the steps.
The following are some general guidelines.
Find a quiet place where you can listen to the child withoutinterruption.
Stay calm. Your insides may be churning with the informationthe child reveals. You may feel outrage for the adult responsible.However, dont let the child sense what youre feeling. Be apatient listenerand keep your own emotions under control.
Believe the child: Children rarely lie about sexual abuse orassault. Remember, however, when you report the incident thatyou can only suspect that it really happened.
Be careful of your body language. For example, if you sit backaway from the child, with your arms tightly folded across yourchest, youll send a negative image to the child. Regardless of yourinner feelings, if you look unbelieving or disapproving, the childwill pick up on it.
Let the child know that the feelings he or she is experiencing arenormal. Assure the child that he or she hasnt done anythingwrong, that its the abusers fault. Calm his or her fears aboutpossibly getting in trouble.
Dont make any promises that you may not be able to keep.
Tell the child what action you plan to take.
Reassure the child, telling him or her that you care, and that thechild did the right thing to confide in you. Remind the child thathe or she has a right to feel safe, and that youre on his or her side.
If You Suspect AbuseIf you suspect that a child is being or has been abused, you should file areport, even though the child hasnt confided in you. We recommendthe following procedure. However, your district, agency, or centerwill have a policy. You must be familiar with it and follow it first.
Use the checklist in Appendix A at the back of this study unit.Document as much information as you can. Remember, youdont have to prove that the abuse occurred. If you have a reason-able suspicion, you have an obligation to report it.
Make a list of your concerns. Include anything appropriate thatyouve seen and heard.
Provide all appropriate background information.
Helping Abused Children 25
Talk to the child. Find a quiet place where you can listen to thechild without interruption. If youve observed physical evidencethat you suspect has been caused by abuse, you might say:Johnny, your arm is bruised. How did that happen? or Imconcerned about that bruise, Johnny. Please tell me about it. Iwould like to help.
Finally, conduct the interview along the guidelines detailedabove under If a Child Comes to You.
Reporting Suspected Cases of Child AbuseEach of us has the clear responsibilityethically and morallytoreport any and all suspected cases of child abuse. In some states, thelaw mandates that certain groups of professionals (doctors, teachers,clergy, caregivers, etc.) report such suspicions. The laws, however,vary from state to state. To find out which professions are required toreport suspected cases of child abuse in your state, call your local orstate child protection agency. (See Appendix B at the back of this studyunit for phone numbers.)
Nationally, about 50 percent of reported child abuse cases are validinother words, actual abuse occurred in those instances. Imagine all of thechildren and families that have been helped because caring, sensitivepeople intervened.
But what about the other 50 percent? What happens if you make areport and an investigation fails to show an instance of child abuse?Are you liable? No. Youre protected from civil and criminal liability,since your action comes under the heading of good-faith reporting.Regardless of the outcome of that action, the law concedes that youacted out of concern for the health, safety, and well-being of a child.In addition, laws in most states assure you of confidentiality. Youdont even have to give your name when making a report (although ifyou do, it will be confidential.) Of course, its possible that your namemight also be useful in the investigation.
Most schools and centers will have a formal procedure for you to follow.The school will decide whom youre to report the suspected abuseto. In some schools, it will be the school nurse or guidance counselor;in others, it may be the principal or a designated teacher. However,dont wait until you need to make a report. Find out the proper proce-dure now. It might also be a good idea to write to the child protectionagency in your state and ask for its guidelines, as well as any otherpertinent (and free) information they might have. Appendix B liststhe addresses of the child protection agencies.
26 Helping Abused Children
TrashHighlight
Be prepared to provide information about the suspected abuse. Followthe guidelines listed in the previous section. You should keep a recordof any unusual behavior patterns. After youve worked with childrenfor a while, youll quickly learn what constitutes unusual behavior.
Also, keep a record of all significant physical (and other) behavioralsigns. (Again, use the checklist in Appendix A.) The instant that yoususpect abuse, report it. Remember, all you need is the suspicion. Theinvestigating agency will collect the proof.
Never try to solve a child abuse problem yourself. The disease of childabuse is too complex for any single individual to handle. Youaswell as the child and the childs familyneed the assistance of trainedprofessionals.
The Importance of ConfidentialityConfidentiality is extremely important in cases of suspected childabuse. Never discuss what youve seen or heard with anyone whosnot involved with the casealthough the teacher of the class can andshould become involved. The parents, especially, need to trust you,and for them to make progress in solving their problem, they need toknow that you havent violated this trust. Of course, in an emergencythat is, if the immediate health and/or safety of the child or anotherindividual is at stakeyou must seek help wherever you can. Asalways, the child comes first.
What Happens after the Report?After the initial report has been made, the appropriate child protectionservice will be contacted. An agency staff member, a law enforcementofficer, or perhaps both will investigate. He or she will talk to the child,the parents, and others involved with the situation, such as relatives,neighbors, co-workers, or friends of the family. The investigator willthen decide if there is or has been abuse. If the decision is positive, theagency will take whatever action is necessary to protect the child.
If possible, the agency will try to keep the family together, since childabuse is a family problem. Generally speaking, abused children do lovetheir parents, and in most situations the parents love their children. Asstated earlier, its believed that 90 percent of abusive families can turninto more effective environments with the proper help. The agencywill also provide services that will guide and counsel the family. Insome instances, of course, an agency might have to remove the childfrom the home to guarantee his or her protection. Or, the suspectedchild abuser may have to leave the home, and to refrain from contact-ing the child.
Helping Abused Children 27
Sometimesalmost always in instances of sexual or severe physicalabusethe court will prosecute child abusers. This ensures that theabuser follows through with the prescribed treatment and ensuresthat the courts address and pursue the criminal act.
Relating to the Child, Parent(s), and FamilyWhen a child has experienced abuse, its common for him or her to havefeelings of fear or rejection. Some children may separate themselvesemotionally from their family. Often, they tend to isolate themselvesfrom their classmates, too, perhaps to become the pathetic loners ofthe playground. Such children prefer to be alone, since theyve learnedthe hard way the consequences of misplaced trust. Overwhelmed by asense of utter powerlessness, they drift along in bewildered solitude.
You can help these children by being an approachable, patient listener.Learning how to listen is a valuable skill in its own right. By listeningcarefully, you can hear between the lines of what the child is telling you.You can also observe and try to interpret the childs body language.Above all, never pressure a child to disclose information. Often, theabuser warns or threatens an abused child not to get the family introuble. Sometimes, you can open the door to communication just bybeing approachable and concerned.
If a child does divulge information that leads you to suspect abuse,dont make promises that you cant keep, such as I wont tell anyone.You may even want to tell the child: Im going to see that you gethelp. I want to help you. Also, never be critical of, or negative with, achild or parents, no matter how upsetting the childs testimony may be.
Avoid repeated questioning of the child. Once you report the suspectedabuse, the appropriate agency will conduct the investigation. Let theagency do its work. Dont attempt to call or visit the childs parents orrelatives, either. It might make them uncomfortable or hostile, and asa result they might become uncooperative with the agency personnel.
Abused children need to learn how to trust again, and how to makelasting friendshipsin short, they need to learn positive ways ofinteracting with others. You can provide them with warmth andsecurity in the classroom during the school day, perhaps helpingthem to initiate or renew positive relationships with their peers.
Above all, its important that abused children feel that the schoolenvironment is nonthreatening. Avoid emotional extremes. Never sub-ject them to an excess of pity, nor should there ever be the slightest hintof physical punishment (even in those unusual circumstances wheresuch might seem warranted).
28 Helping Abused Children
If you suspect that a parent is abusing his or her child, never issue awarning to the parent, since this could obviously put the child at evengreater risk. Such parents might very possibly blame the child for get-ting them in trouble. If anything, youll want to maintain as good arelationship with the parents as possible. We must try to help abusiveparents to feel good about themselves; thats part of the beginning oftheir cure. Also, the school and the childrens protection agency needthe parents cooperation to some extent. A good rapport might evenencourage the parent or parents to admit their role in the problem,and to take the critical first step on the road to recovery.
Once youve reported your suspicions, dont expect the parents or eventhe child to feel grateful to you. Theyll have a lot of emotions to workthroughguilt, shame, perhaps even resentment of your interference.But thats all right. Youll know what youve done. To have helped anotherwise helpless child is no small accomplishment, no matter howyou look at it.
Helping Abused Children 29
Indicate whether each statement is True or False.
_____ 1. Its possible for a parent to abuse his or her child without realizing it.
_____ 2. Most parents who are child abusers actually love their children.
_____ 3. We dont consider immaturity and stress legitimate causes of child abuse.
_____ 4. As a teacher aide, the best thing to do if you suspect abuse is to follow yourschools procedure.
_____ 5. To gain the confidence of abused children, its best to assure them that youll keeptheir little secret.
Check your answers with those on page 31.
Back to the Chalkboard 3
NOTES
30 Helping Abused Children
11. e
2. d
3. f
4. b
2
1. Physical
2. Sexual
3. Neglectful
4. Emotional
5. Neglectful
6. Physical
7. Emotional
8. Sexual
9. Neglectful
10. Neglectful
3
1. True
2. True
3. False
4. True
5. False
Back to the Chalkboard Answers
31
NOTES
32 Back to the Chalkboard Answers
CHECKLIST: WARNING SIGNS AND SYMPTOMSOF AN ABUSED CHILD
Physical Signs
Welts, burns, cuts, or scrapes
Bruises of various colors
Broken bones
Evidence of pulled-out hair
Untreated body sores
Evidence of other injuries at various stages of healing
Injury or other medical condition that obviously hasnt beenproperly or completely treated
Frequent bacterial infection, genital rash, chronic vaginaldischarge, and/or vaginal or rectal bleeding
Clothing inadequate for the climate
Evidence of poor hygiene
Head lice or other parasites (especially if the condition goesuntreated)
Poor vision
Poor hearing
Obvious need of dental care
General Behavioral Changes
Withdrawn behavior
Overly aggressive behavior
Temper tantrums
Appendix A
33
Obscene language and/or gestures
Talk of suicide (or actual suicide attempt)
Hunger, or dependence on junk food
Constant hunger for attention
Fear of authority
Unusual fears (such as of going home)
Unusual fatigue or inability to concentrate
Tendency to physical violence
Failure to thrive, for no apparent reason
Severe weight abnormalities (too thin or obese)
Difficulty accepting praise
Use of negative self-talk
Inability or unwillingness to make eye contact
Feelings of worthlessness
Fear of tackling new projects
Delinquent behavior
Sexual promiscuity
Gang membership
Involvement with drugs and/or alcohol
Vandalism
School Attendance
Persistent absence from school, not illness-related (sometimes totake care of parents)
Frequent tardiness, or frequent early departure from school
Lingering at school after dismissal
Frequent absence from gym class
34 Appendix A
Academic Performance
Anxiety about pleasing parents
Drop in grades, or failure to achieve to potential
Failure in school
Little or no respect for learning
Note: None of these signsand no combination of themis positiveproof of child abuse. However, a child who exhibits several of thesigns may be in need of help. If you suspect a problem, report yoursuspicion. Follow the established policy of your school district, or callthe childrens protective services. We listed addresses and numbers inAppendix B, or you can locate the necessary information in yourtelephone directory.
Appendix A 35
NOTES
36 Appendix A
STATE CHILD PROTECTION AGENCIES
Because the responsibility for investigating reports of suspected childabuse and neglect rests at the state level, each state has established aChild Protective Services (CPS) reporting system. Listed below are thename and address of the CPS agency in each state, followed by theprocedures for reporting suspected child maltreatment. A number ofstates have toll-free (800) telephone numbers that can be used forreporting. Some states have two numbers, one for individuals callingwithin the state and the other for those calling from outside of thestate. Normal business hours vary from agency to agency, but aretypically from 8:00 or 9:00 A.M. to 4:30 or 5:00 P.M.
Alabama
Alabama Department of Human ResourcesDivision of Family and Childrens ServicesOffice of Protective Services50 Ripley StreetMontgomery, AL 36130-4000(334) 242-1310
During business hours, make reports to the County Department ofHuman Resources, Child Protective Services Unit. After businesshours, make reports to local police.
Alaska
Department of Health and Social ServicesDivision of Family and Youth ServicesBox 110630Juneau, AK 99811(907) 465-31911-800-478-4444
Appendix B
37
Arizona
Department of Economic Security Administrationfor Children, Youth, and FamiliesP.O. Box 6123Site COE 940APhoenix, AZ 85005(602) 542-3981
Make reports to Department of Economic Security local offices.
Arkansas
Arkansas State Police1 State Police Plaza DriveLittle Rock, AR 72209
Make reports in state to (800) 482-5964.
California
Office of Child Abuse PreventionCalifornia Department of Social Services714744 P Street, MS1982Sacramento, CA 95814
Make reports to County Departments of Welfare and the CentralRegistry of Child Abuse (916) 445-2771, maintained by the Depart-ment of Justice.
Colorado
Department of Social Services Central RegistryP.O. Box 181000Denver, CO 80218-0899(303) 866-3003
Make reports to County Departments of Social Services.
Connecticut
Connecticut Department of Children and FamiliesCentral Intake Services/Child Abuse and Neglect HotlineP.O. Box 882Middletown, CT 06457
Make reports to (800) 842-2288 or (860) 344-2599.
38 Appendix B
Delaware
The Department of Services for Children, Youth, and Their FamiliesDivision of Family Services1825 Faulkland RoadWilmington, DE 19805
Make reports to (800) 292-9582.
District of Columbia
District of Columbia Department of Human ServicesCommission on Social ServicesFamily Services AdministrationChild and Family Services625 H Street, NEWashington, DC 20002
Make reports to (202) 727-0995.
Florida
Florida Department of Children and FamilyAbuse Hotline2729 Fort Knox BoulevardBldg. 2, Room 105Tallahassee, FL 32308
Make reports in state to (800) 962-2873 or out-of-state to (850) 487-1111.
Georgia
Georgia Department of Human ResourcesDivision of Family and Children Services2 Peachtree Street, NWAtlanta, GA 30303(404) 651-8170
Make reports to County Departments of Family and Children Services.
Hawaii
Department of Human Services, Child Welfare Division420 Waiakamilo Road, Suite 300AHonolulu, HI 96817
Make reports to each islands Department of Social Services andHousing CPS reporting hotline (808) 832-5300
Appendix B 39
Idaho
Department of Health and WelfareField Operations Bureau of Social Services and Child Protection450 West State, 10th FloorBoise, ID 83720(208) 334-0808
Make reports to Department of Health and Welfare Regional Offices.
Illinois
Illinois Department of Children and Family ServicesStation 70State Administrative Offices406 East Monroe StreetSpringfield, IL 62701(217) 782-2000
Make reports in state to (800) 252-2873 or out-of-state to (217) 785-4010.
Indiana
Indiana Department of Public Welfare-Child Abuse and NeglectDivision of Child Welfare-Social Services141 South Meridian StreetSixth FloorIndianapolis, IN 46225(317) 232-4919
Make reports to County Departments of Public Welfare.
Iowa
Iowa Department of Human ServicesDivision of Adult, Children, and Family ServicesCentral Child Abuse RegistryHoover State Office BuildingFifth FloorDes Moines, IA 50319(515) 281-3931
Make reports in state to (800) 362-2178 or out-of-state (during businesshours) to (515) 281-5581.
40 Appendix B
Kansas
Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitation ServicesDivision of Social ServicesChild Protection and Family Services SectionP.O. Box 1424Topeka, KS 66601
Make reports to Department of Social and Rehabilitation ServiceTopeka Area Offices, (800) 922-5330.
Kentucky
Kentucky Cabinet of Human ResourcesDivision of Family ServicesChildren and Youth Services Branch275 East Main StreetFrankfort, KY 40621(502) 564-3540
Make reports to County Offices in 14 state districts.
Louisiana
Louisiana Department of Social ServicesOffice of Community ServicesP.O. Box 3318Baton Rouge, LA 70821(504) 342-0286
Make reports to parish Protective Service Units.
Maine
Maine Department of Human ServicesChild Protective Services221 State Street, SHS 11Augusta, ME 04333(207) 287-5060
Make reports to Regional Office of Human Services; in state to(800) 452-1999 or out-of-state to (207) 287-2983. Both operate 24 hoursa day.
Appendix B 41
Maryland
Maryland Department of Human ResourcesSocial Services AdministrationSaratoga State Center311 West Saratoga StreetBaltimore, MD 21201(410) 887-2520
Make reports to County Departments of Social Services or to local lawenforcement agencies.
Massachusetts
Massachusetts Department of Social ServicesProtective Services24 Farnsworth StreetBoston, MA 02119
Make reports to Area Offices or Protective Screening Unit or in stateto (800) 792-5200.
Michigan
Michigan Department of Social ServicesOffice of Children and Youth ServicesProtective Services Division235 South Grand AvenueGrand Tower BuildingLansing, MI 48933(517) 887-9791
Make reports to County Departments of Family IndependenceAgency.
Minnesota
Minnesota Department of Human ServicesFamily and Children Services Division444 Lafayette RoadSt. Paul, MN 55155-3832
Make reports to County Departments of Human Services.
42 Appendix B
Mississippi
Mississippi Department of Public WelfareBureau of Family and Childrens ServicesProtection DepartmentP.O. Box 352Jackson, MS 39205(601) 359-4500
Missouri
Missouri Child Abuse and Neglect HotlineDepartment of Social ServiceDivision of Family ServicesDFS, P.O. Box 88Jefferson City, MO 65103
Make reports in state to (800) 392-3738 or out-of-state to(573) 751-3448. Both operate 24 hours a day.
Montana
Department of Family ServicesChild and Family ServicesP.O. Box 8005Helena, MT 59604(406) 444-5900
Make reports to County Departments of Family Services.
Nebraska
Nebraska Department of Social ServicesHealth and Human Services Division301 Centennial Mall SouthP.O. Box 95026Lincoln, NE 68509(402) 471-7000
Nevada
Department of Human ResourcesWelfare Division2527 North Carson StreetCarson City, NV 89710(702) 945-3602
Make reports to Division of Welfare local offices.
Appendix B 43
New Hampshire
New Hampshire Department of Health and Human ServicesDivision for Children and Youth Services6 Hazen DriveConcord, NH 03301-6522
Make reports to Division for Children, Youth, and Families(800) 894-5533, (8:00 A.M.4:40 P.M.); out of state to (603) 271-6563.
After hours call (800) 852-3388 or (603) 225-9000.
New Jersey
New Jersey Division of Youth and Family ServicesP.O. Box 717120 South Stockton StreetTrenton, NJ 08625
Make reports in state to (800) 392-2721. District offices also provide24-hour telephone services.
New Mexico
Children, Youth, and Family DepartmentProtective Services DivisionP.O. Drawer 5160Santa Fe, NM 87502(800) 610-7610
New York
New York State Office of Children and Family ServicesDivision of Development and Protective ServicesState Central Register of Child Abuse and Maltreatment40 North Pearl StreetAlbany, NY 12243
Make reports in state to (800) 342-3720 or out-of-state to(518) 474-9448 or 9607.
44 Appendix B
North Carolina
North Carolina Health and Human ServicesDivision of Social ServicesChildren Services325 North Salisbury StreetRaleigh, NC 27603(919) 733-3360
North Dakota
North Dakota Department of Human ServicesDivision of Children and Family ServicesChild Abuse and Neglect ProgramState Capitol600 E. Boulevard Avenue, Dept. 325Bismarck, ND 58505
Make reports to County Social Services Offices.
Ohio
Ohio Department of Human ServicesBureau of Childrens Protective Services30 East Broad StreetColumbus, OH 43266-0423(614) 341-6060
Make reports to County Department of Human Services.
Oklahoma
Oklahoma Department of Human ServicesDivision of Children and Family ServicesChild Abuse/Neglect SectionP.O. Box 25352Oklahoma City, OK 73125
Make reports in state to (800) 522-3511.
Appendix B 45
Oregon
Department of Human ResourcesServices to Children and Families500 Summer Street, NESalem, OR 97310
Make reports to local Childrens Services Division Offices and to(503) 945-5651.
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania Department of Public WelfareOffice of Children, Youth, and FamiliesChild Line and Abuse RegistryHillcrest BuildingP.O. Box 2675Harrisburg, PA 17105
Make reports in state to CHILDLINE (800) 932-0313 or out-of-state to(717) 783-8744.
Puerto Rico
Puerto Rico Department of Social ServicesThe Department of the FamilyP.O. Box 11398Fernandez Juncos StationSanturez, PR 00910
Make reports to (787) 724-7474.
Rhode Island
Rhode Island Department for Children and Their FamiliesDivision of Child Protective Services610 Mt. Pleasant AvenueBldg. #9Providence, RI 02908
Make reports in state to (800) RI-CHILD or 742-4453 or out-of-state to(401) 457-4996.
46 Appendix B
South Carolina
South Carolina Department of Social Services1535 Confederate AvenueP.O. Box 1520Columbia, SC 29202-1520(803) 734-3521
Make reports to County Departments of Social Services.
South Dakota
Department of Social ServicesChild Protection ServicesRichard F. Kneip Building700 Governors DrivePierre, SD 57501(605) 773-3521
Make reports to local social services offices.
Tennessee
Tennessee Department of Children ServicesChild Protective Services436 Sixth Avenue, NCordell Hull Bldg., 7th FloorNashville, TN 37243-1290(615) 741-9699
Make reports to County Departments of Human Services.
Texas
Texas Department of Human ServicesProtective Services for Families and ChildrenBranchP.O. Box 2960, MC 537-WAustin, TX 78769
Make reports in state to (800) 252-5400 or out-of-state to (512) 438-3011.
Appendix B 47
Utah
Department of Social ServicesDivision of Family ServicesP.O. Box 45500Salt Lake City, UT 84110
Make reports to Division of Family Services District Offices.
Vermont
Vermont Department of Social and Rehabilitation ServicesDivision of Social Services103 South Main StreetWaterbury, VT 05671-2401
Make reports to district offices or to (802) 241-2131.
Virgin Islands
Virgin Islands Department of Human ServicesDivision of Social ServicesP.O. Box 550Charlotte AmalieSt. Thomas, VI 00801
Make reports to Division of Social Services (340) 774-0930.
Virginia
Commonwealth of VirginiaDepartment of Social ServicesBureau of Child Protective ServicesBlair Building8007 Discovery DriveRichmond, VA 23229-8699
Make reports in state to (800) 552-7096 or out-of-state to(804) 692-2461.
48 Appendix B
Washington
Department of Social and Health ServicesDivision of Children and Family ServicesChild Protective ServicesMail Stop OB 41-DOlympia, WA 98504
Make reports in state to (888) 822-3541 or local Social and HealthServices Offices.
West Virginia
West Virginia Department of Human ServicesDivision of Social ServicesChild Protective ServicesState Office Building1900 Washington Street EastCharleston, WV 25305(304) 558-9134
Wisconsin
Wisconsin Department of Health and Family ServicesDivision of Children and FamilyBureau for Program and Policy1 West Wilson StreetMadison, WI 53707(608) 266-3681
Make reports to County Social Services Offices.
Wyoming
Department of Family ServicesHathaway BuildingCheyenne, WY 82002-0490(307) 777-7561
Make reports to County Departments of Public Assistance andSocial Services.
Appendix B 49
NOTES
50 Appendix B
NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS CONCERNED WITH CHILDMALTREATMENT
Action for Child Protection2101 Sardis Road North, Suite 204Charlotte, NC 28227(704) 845-2121
Professional and institutional inquiries only.
American Academy of Pediatrics141 Northwest Point BoulevardElk Grove Village, IL 60007(800) 433-9016
For professional and public educational materials contact thePublications Department.
American Bar AssociationCenter on Children and the Law740 15th Street, NWWashington, DC 20005(202) 662-1000
Professional and institutional inquiries only.
American Humane AssociationChildrens Division63 Inverness Drive EastEnglewood, CO 80112-5117(303) 792-9900
Professional publications and public inquiries regarding childprotective services and child abuse and neglect.
Appendix C
51
American Medical Association515 North State StreetChicago, IL 60610(312) 464-5000
American Public Human Services810 First Street, NESuite 500Washington, DC 20002-4267(202) 682-0100
Association of Junior Leagues660 First AvenueNew York, NY 10016(212) 683-1515
Contact: For legislative information, Public Policy Director; forindividual Junior League programs and child abuse and neglectinformation, League Services Department.
Boys and Girls Club of AmericaGovernment Relations Office600 Jefferson Plaza, Suite 401Rockville, MD 20852(301) 251-6676
There are 1,100 clubs nationwide serving 1.3 million boys and girls.Offers child safety curriculum.
Kempe Childrens Center1825 Marion StreetDenver, CO 80218(303) 864-5252
Child Welfare League of America440 First Street, NWSuite 310Washington, DC 20001-2085(202) 638-2952
Professional and institutional inquiries only.
52 Appendix C
Childhelp USA6463 Independence AvenueWoodland Hills, CA 91367Hotline: (800) 4-A-CHILD or (800) 422-4453
Provides comprehensive crisis counseling by mental health profes-sionals for adult and child victims of child abuse and neglect, offenders,parents who are fearful of abusing or who want information on howto be effective parents. The Survivors of Childhood Abuse Program(SCAP) disseminates materials, makes treatment referrals, trainsprofessionals, and conducts research.
National Association of Social Workers750 First Street, NE, Suite 700Washington, DC 20002(202) 408-8600
Professional and institutional inquiries only.
National Black Child Development Institute1023 15th Street, NW, Suite 600Washington, DC 20005(202) 387-1281
Provides newsletter, annual conference, and answers public inquiriesregarding issues facing black children/youth.
Child and Family Services AgencyChild Abuse and Neglect Hotline609 H. Street, NEWashington, DC 20002(202) 724-2017
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children2101 Wilson BoulevardSuite 550Arlington, VA 22201(703) 235-3900(800) 843-5678
Toll-free number for reporting missing children, sightings of missingchildren, or reporting cases of child pornography. Provides free writ-ten materials for the general public on child victimization as well astechnical documents for professionals.
Appendix C 53
National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse200 South Michigan Avenue17th FloorChicago, IL 60604(312) 663-3520
Sixty-eight local chapters (in all 50 states). Provides information andstatistics on child abuse and maintains an extensive publications list.The National Research Center provides information for professionalson promising programs, methods for evaluatio