Characteristics associated with gender communication patterns
Ms. Cindy Kenkel
Battle of the Sexes
Disclaimer
Observations are by no means applicableto ALL men or women in ALLbusiness environments.
Men – motivated by power or status
Women – motivated by connection
Deborah Tannen
Why so many differences?
Male Female
Verbal Feeling Verbal & Feeling in both sides
There really are biological differences
How do you get from How do you get from here to there?here to there?
Gender:
Absolute vs. General
Direction
Streets vs. Landmarks
Women
General(left, right)
Landmarks
(by the gas
station)Men Absolute
(North, South)Streets
(Walnut, Main)
“What would you like to do?”
Women perceive it as an invitation for discussion and negotiation
Men perceive it as the stimulus for direct answer
In decision making
Women more likely to downplay their certainty
Men more likely to downplay their doubts
Leading style
Women tend to lead by making suggestions
Men tend to lead by giving orders
Give directions in indirect ways
Women give directions in indirect ways
Men perceive it as confusing, unsure or manipulative
Criticism
Women tend to temper criticism with positive buffers
Men tend to give criticism directly
How is your lemonade?
“What do you think?”
A means for women to build consensus
Men perceive it as a sign of incompetence and lack of confidence
“Am I right or wrong?”
Women feel that men are not direct enough in telling women if they are right
Men feel that women are not direct enough in telling men if they are wrong
Audience adaptation in a group
Women – tend to change their communication styles to
adapt to the presence of the men– practice “silent applause”
Women in position of authority
Women tend to be less accustomed to dealing with conflict and attacks
A Bluff or an Ultimatum?
Women misunderstand men’s ultimatums asserious threats rather than one more negotiationstrategy.
This is nonnegotiable.
Fine, then. Have it your way.
Women need to improve negotiation skills Women 2.5 times more likely to feel “a
great deal of apprehension” about negotiating
Women will pay as much as $1,353 more to avoid negotiating car price
Men are 4 times more likely to negotiate their first salary (not doing this costs you over $500,000 by the time you retire)
Research shows
__________ managers tend to have more of adesire to build than a desire to win and aremore likely to compromise.
I’m sorry? Why?
Women tend to apologize even when they have done nothing wrong.
Men tend to avoid apologies as a signof weakness or concession.
Rapport vs Report Talk
Rapport -Women tend to mix business talk with talk about their personal lives.
Report:Men mix business talk with banterabout sports, politics, or jokes.
Did you say Dr.?
Women are more often referred to bytheir first name than are men, sometimesas a sign of less respect for women andsometimes as a sign of presumed familiarity or intimacy.
Interruptions
Men tend to interrupt women much morethan women interrupt men.
Idea Generation
Men tend to usurp ideas stated by womenand claim them as their own.
Women tend to allow this process to take place without protest.
Tag Questions
Women appear to seek permission orvalidation by the addition of “tag questions” to their assertions.
Let’s hold the meeting in my office, OK?
Why Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office
Discussion
Which communication patterns do youobserve in yourself that agree with thelist of items we just covered?
Which communication patterns do youdisagree with?