Crucial Conversations based on the book by:By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Geraldine Roberts-MooreWendy ZdebRochester Community Schools
Crucial ConversationsWhat makes a conversation crucial vs. typical?First, opinions varySecond, the stakes are highThird, emotions run strong
Crucial Conversations How do we typically handle crucial conversations:We can avoid themWe can face them and handle them poorlyWe can face them and handle them well
Crucial ConversationsWhy dont crucial conversations tend to go well?Emotions tend to ruleYour body physically reactsWe are under pressureWe are stumpedWe act in self defeating ways
Crucial ConversationsCommon Crucial ConversationsEnding a relationshipAsking a friend to repay a loanGiving the boss feedback about her behaviorCritiquing a colleagues workTalking to a team member who isnt keeping commitmentsTalking to a colleague who is hoarding information or resources
Crucial ConversationsWhy it is important to master crucial conversation skills:Kick Start Your CareerImprove Your OrganizationImprove Your RelationshipsRevitalize Your CommunityImprove Your Personal Health
Crucial Conversations
There are 8 Principles and Skills
See your chart in the handouts
Review the Law of Crucial Conversations graphic
Get Unstuck
Spot the conversations that are keeping you stuck
Hold the right crucial conversation with CPR
Get UnstuckPartner Discussion:What conversations am I not holding or not holding well?Share an example of a conversation which is long overdue.
Am I holding the right crucial conversations?
Start with Heart
Work on me first
Focus on what you really want
Refuse the Suckers Choice
Start with HeartActivity: Watch Video Clip, The Apologyhttps://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
What do I really want? Am I behaving in ways that move me toward what I want?Am I making Suckers Choices?
Learn to LookLook for when a conversation becomes crucialLook for silence and violenceLearn to look for your own Style Under StressActivity: Watch video clips/ labelhttps://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
Learn to LookAm I noticing signs that safety is at risk?
Am I moving to my Style Under Pressure?Activity: Take a few minutes to complete the survey independently.- The survey can be submitted/scored on the VitalSmarts website.
Make It Safe
Apologize when appropriate
Contrast to fix misunderstandings
Create Mutual Purpose
Make It SafeHave I established Mutual Purpose?Have I maintained respect?
Activity: Watch video clip. Share an example of how we can make it safe for our staff members.https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
Master My StoriesSeparate facts from stories
Watch for three clever storiesVictim, Villain and Helpless
Tell the rest of the story
Master My StoriesAm I pretending not to notice my role in the problem?Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this?What should I do right now to move toward what I really want?Activity: Watch video clip, how could this same example be applied to a school setting?https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
STATE My PathSTATE:Share your factsTell your storyAsk for others paths (what)Talk tentativelyEncourage testing (how)
STATE My PathAm I really open to others views?
Am I confidently expressing my own views?
Explore Others Paths
Explore with added AMPPs:AskMirrorParaphrasePrime
Explore Others Paths
Am I actively exploring others views?
Move to Action
Decide how to decide
Document who does what by when and follow-up
Move to Action
What is the plan from here?