Basic Counselling
SkillsFor Busy School Staff
Aims of SessionWhat is (and maybe what isn’t)
counselling?To understand the importance of
school staff using counselling skillsCore counselling skills - verbal and
non verbalDemonstrate counselling skills
What is Counselling?
What is CounsellingCounselling enables people to discuss their problems and any difficult feelings they encounter in a safe, confidential environment.
People share and reflect on thoughts, feelings and behaviour, gain insights and perspective and ultimately find their own solutions.
Why is it Important for School Staff to use Counselling Skills?
Why it is important for School staff to use Counselling Skills
Student feels : HeardRespectedNot JudgedValued and Accepted
Enables : Students to share more easily Builds a trusting relationship
Student receives appropriate help and supportValidation and acceptance of feelingsUnderstand their behaviours
Improves : Communication Empathy ‘skills’ for both parties Staff’s
understanding of underlying causes of students’ behaviourStudents asking for help earlier
Self awareness of students and staff
What are the Core Skills of Counselling?
The Core Skills of Counselling
Listening – Verbal and non verbal, use your senses “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” Stephen R Covey
Showing Empathy - Step into their shoes and see through their eyes
Being Non judgemental – Suspend your own values and beliefs and respect the other
Being Genuine and real – Helps to strengthen the relationship
How we use Counselling Skills?
ACTIVE LISTENING is focussing on what is being said and not said, NOT on what you need to say or doYOUR Non Verbal Listening: Sit/stand squarely
Open postureLean forward slightlyEye contactRelax
Notice THEIR non verbal cues – body language, expressions, hesitations
Use MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS – yes, OK, I see, uh-huh, mmmm, nodding while listening, smiling
Listen for the MEANING below their storyListen for what is NOT BEING SAID, SILENCES and
TONE
Questions: ask mostly open questions, only when necessary to encourage and deepen your understanding… what, who, describe
Reflect feelings: …. Sounds like you feel angry….hurt…overwhelmed (say a few words summing up the feeling during a pause)
Rephrase: …..Use your own words to rephrase content and feeling, offer back tentatively….. I’m hearing you say….Am I right that…so what you’re saying is….
Summarising: after a longer conversation, briefly and clearly describe the main points, drawing everything together
ActivityForm triads: speaker, listener, observerYou can use the skills sheetChoose a safe subject but one which is
causing you some concernContent is to remain confidential5 minutes speaking, 2/3 minutes
feedback to the listener from speaker and observer
Feedback – observer: what you saw and heard – speaker: what you felt – listener: anything you were aware of
Questions
Feedback sheets
Advice/support – email me or call me
Active Listening Body language – open posture, maintain eye contact, be relaxed
Minimal encouragers – ‘I see… OK…Yes…mmm’, nodding, slight smile
Reflect feelings – ‘sounds like you feel… you felt….I can see you are angry’
Rephrase – use your own words to offer back what you have heard both content and feeling, ‘am I right that… so what you’re saying is…’
Question – preferably open questions ‘what, how, describe’ to aid understanding for speaker and listener
Summarise – wrap up the main points clearly at the end of a longer conversation
Listen for the meaning beneath the story, use all your senses
Be aware of their body language, expressions, hesitations
Listen for what is not being said and their tone, notice silences