BooksbyJenniferL.Armentrout
deVincentSeriesMoonlightSins:AdeVincentNovel(January30,2018)
WickedTrilogy
WickedTornBrave
ThePrince:AWickedNovella(August14,2018)
TheTitanSeries(NewAdultParanormal)
ThePowerTheReturnTheStruggle
CovenantSeries
(FullseriescompletedâYoungAdultParanormal)DaimonHalf-BloodPureDeityElixirApollyonSentinel
LuxSeries(FullseriescompletedâYoungAdultParanormal)
ShadowsObsidianOnyxOpalOrigin
OppositionOblivion(DaemonâsPOVofObsidian)
TheDarkElements
(FullseriescompletedâYoungAdultParanormal)BitterSweetLoveWhiteHotKissStoneColdTouchEveryLastBreath
StandaloneTitles:
TheProblemwithForever(YoungAdultcontemporary)
Don'tLookBack(YoungAdultromanticsuspense)
Cursed(YoungAdultparanormal)
Obsession(Adultspin-offtheLuxSeries)
Frigid(NewAdultContemporaryRomance)
Scorched(NewAdultContemporaryRomance)
Unchained(AdultParanormalRomance)
TheDeadList(YoungAdultcontemporary)
TillDeath(AdultContemporaryRomance)
IfThereâsNoTomorrow(YoungAdultcontemporary)
WaitforYouSeries
(Readinanyorder,asstandalones.ContemporaryNewAdult)WaitforYou
TrustInMe(Cam'sPOVofWaitforYou)BeWithMe
BelieveinMe(shortstoryintheanthologyFiftyFirsts)StayWithMeFallWithMe
ForeverWithYouFireInYou
TheGambleBrothersSeries
(Fullseriescomplete-AdultContemporaryRomance)TemptingtheBestManTemptingthePlayer
TemptingtheBodyguard
FordetailsaboutcurrentandupcomingtitlesfromJenniferL.Armentrout,
pleasevisitwww.jenniferlarmentrout.com
Brave
PublishedbyJenniferL.ArmentroutCopyright©2017byJenniferL.Armentrout
Allrightsreserved
LicenseNotesThis ebook is an original work of fiction, licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Except as
permittedundertheU.S.CopyrightActof1976,nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,distributed,ortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,orstoredinadatabaseorretrievalsystem,withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher.Thankyouforrespectingthehardworkoftheauthor.
Thecharactersandeventsportrayedinthisbookarefictitious.Anysimilaritytorealpersons,livingordead,iscoincidentalandnotintendedbytheauthor.
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Brave/JenniferL.ArmentroutâFirsteditionISBN978-1-947591-71-4(E-book)
CoverDesignbyReginaWamba,MaeIDesignAllrightsreserved.
FormattingbyChristineBorgford,TypeAFormatting
Contents
BooksbyJenniferL.ArmentroutBRAVEChapter1Chapter2Chapter3Chapter4Chapter5Chapter6Chapter7Chapter8Chapter9Chapter10Chapter11Chapter12Chapter13Chapter14Chapter15Chapter16Chapter17Chapter18Chapter19Chapter20Chapter21Chapter22Chapter23Chapter24Chapter25Chapter26Chapter27Chapter28Chapter29Chapter30Chapter31Chapter32Chapter33Chapter34
Chapter35ThePrince~AWickedNovellaAboutJenniferL.Armentrout
Chapter1
The roomwas so dark I couldnâtmake out anything beyond the faint, silverymoonlightseepingbetweenthecrackinthethickcurtains.Theairwasstillandstale.
ButIknewIwasnâtalone.Iwasneveralonehere.Strainingforward,Ipeeredintothedarkness.Thecoolmetalofthecollarbit
intomyneckas Iwilledmyheart toslowdown,but thepoundingagainstmyribsincreaseduntilpressureclampeddownonmychest.
Icanâtbreathe.IcanâtbreatheinthisâSomethingmovedclosertothebed.Ididnâtseeanything,butIfelttheslightstirringofair.Myheartlurchedinto
mythroataseverymuscleinmybodytensed.There.Ashadowblottedoutthethinstripofmoonlight.
Hewashere.OhGod,hewashereandtherewasnowayoutofthis.TherewasnothingI
coulddo.Thiswasmyfuture,myfate.My swollen stomach ached as I shifted, pressing my back against the
headboard.Thechainjerkedsuddenly,throwingmetotheside.Myhandsflewout.Igrabbedontothebed,butitwasnouse.Ascreamerupted,quicklylostintheshadowsoftheroom.Yankedforward,Iwasdraggedacrossthebed,towardhim.Towardtheâ
MyeyesflewopenasIjackknifedupwardandover,nearlytumblingoffthebed.Icaughtmyselfatthelastmoment,dragginginmouthfulsofairâfreshairthatwasslightlyscentedandremindedmeofautumnsinthenorth.
Immediately, I pushed the mess of curls out of my face and scanned theroom, stopping at thewindow. The curtainswere pulled back, just as Iâd leftthembefore Iâd gone to sleep.Moonlight streamed in, flowing over the smallcouch and sitting area. The surroundings and the smell were familiar. Sweetreliefpoundedthroughmyveinsatthesightofthem.
ButIhadtobesurethatwhatIâdjustexperiencedhadbeenanightmareandnotmyreality.ThatIwasnâtstillheldcaptivebythePrince,whowashell-benton impregnating me to fulfill some unbelievable prophecy that would throwopenallthedoorwaystotheOtherworld.
Slowly,Iplacedmyhandonmystomach.Definitelynotswollen.Definitelynotpregnant.SothatmeantIwasdefinitelynotinthathousewiththePrince.Iliftedashakyhand,draggingitthroughmyhair.Itwasjustanightmareâa
stupidnightmare.Atsomepoint Ihad togetused to them. Iwouldeventuallystopwakingupinapanic.
Ihadto.Mystomachchurned,gnawingatmeasItookadeep,evenbreath.Hungry.I
was hungry, but I could ignore the hunger, because ignoring the burningemptinessinmyguthadworkedsofar.
Exhalingroughly,Idroppedmyhandstothebedandswallowedhard.Iwaswideawakenow.Justlikethenightbefore...andthenightbeforethat.
Behindme,thebedshiftedandthenadeep,sleepyvoiceraspedout,âIvy?âMusclesinmybacklockedup.IdidnâtlookbehindmeasIwrestledmylegs
free from theblanket.Heat crept intomycheeks. âIâmsorry. Ididnâtmean towakeyou.â
âDonâtapologize.âThesleepclearedfromhisvoiceandthebedmovedoncemore,andIknewwithoutlookingthatRenwassittingup.âIseverythingokay?â
âYeah.â I cleared my throat. Heâd asked me that a million times. Iseverythingokay?Andthesecondmostpopularquestionâareyouokay?âYes.Ijust...wokeup.â
Amomentpassed.âIthoughtIheardyouscream.âDammit.Thewarmthcreepingalongmyfaceintensified.âI...Idonâtthinkthatwas
me.âHedidnâtimmediatelyrespond.âWereyouhavinganightmare?âIwassurehealreadyknewtheanswertothat,whichmeantitshouldâvebeen
easytoadmit.Plus,anightmarewasnobigdeal.Hell,RenofallpeoplewouldunderstandifIwasexperiencingasideorderofPTSDtogoalongwiththemaindishofThingsWereKindofScrewedUpRightNow.EspeciallysinceheâdalsospentsomeR&RtimewiththePrinceandhismerrybandofpsychoticfae.
But forsomereasonIcouldnâtadmit tohim that Iwashavingnightmares,thatsometimeswhenIwokeupIthoughtIwasstillinthathouse,chainedtoabed.
RenthoughtIwasbrave,andIwasbrave,butinmomentslikethese,I...Ididnâtfeelverybraveatall.
âIwasjustsleeping,âIwhispered,lettingoutashallowbreath.âYoushouldgobacktosleep.Youhavestufftodotomorrow.â
RenwasleavingwhatIwasnowcallingHotelGoodFaetoseeifhecouldhelp locate the super special Crystal. Originally, this Crystal belonged to theGoodFaeâtheSummerfae.TheOrderhadtakenitfromthemandthenValhadstolen it from the Order, and now the Prince had it.Without the Crystal, wecouldnâtlockthePrincebackupintheOtherworld.
âIvy.Sweetness.âRenâsvoicesoftenedasheplacedahandonmyarm.Thecontactshookme.âTalktome.â
âIâmtalkingtoyou.âIpulledaway,slippingoffthebed.Theminutemyfeethit thefloor,Istartedmoving.Thegnawingemptinessinmystomachgrew.âIthinkIâmgoingtogoworkout.â
âAt three in themorning?âHe sounded incredulous, and I couldnât blamehimforthat.Workingoutinthemiddleofthenightdidseemodd.
âYeah.Feelingrestless.âLayingbackdownnexttoRenrightnow,whenmystomachfeltthewaythatitdidandwithmyheadwhereitwas,wasnâtanoption.
Fayeâs words from the night she helped me escape the Prince took theopportunemomenttocyclethroughmythoughts.Andifyoukeepfeedingyouâregoingtogetaddicted.Youprobablyalreadyare.
Renknewaboutthefeedings,aboutthefactthatImightâvekilledsomeone,but he didnât blame me. He even believed that I wouldnât hurt him. That Iwouldnâtcavetothepartofmethathadawakenedwhilebeingheldcaptiveâthepartofmethatwasfaeandnowknewhowtofeedandhowitcouldmakemefeel.
Andhoweasyitwas.Rentrustedinme,butIdidnât.Icouldnâtaffordbeliefrightnow,becauseIwouldnever,everforgivemyself
ifIhurtRenlikeIknewIâdhurtothers.Mymouthdriedupasmyhandsopenedandcloseduselessly.
âIvy?âRealizingIâdgotlostinmyhead,Iblinkedrapidlyandrefocused.âHaveyou
seen the gym they have in the basement? Itâsmotivating evenme to get on atreadmill.â
Ofcourseheâdseenthegym.Rendidnâthave thebodyhehadwithoutgettingallup,closeandpersonal
withtheinsideofagym.âInsteadofgoing to thegymat three in themorning,whydonâtyoucome
backtobed?âheasked.âWecanwatchsomeshows.PrettysureyouâvemissedsomeepisodesofTheWalkingDead.â
Ihadmisseda lotofepisodesofmy favoritezombie show,which sucked,becauseeverytimeIsawTink,hewassecondsawayfromspoilingeverything.
ThesamewithSupernatural.Asweet,almostbitterwaveofyearningsuckerpunchedmeinthestomach,
temporarilyoverridingtheshadowslingeringinthebackofmymind.Iwantedtodive-bombbackintothatbed,cuddleupwithRen,andfallasleepinhisarms,listening to RickGrimes turn back into the Rick-tator we all know and love.Thatwouldbethenormalthingtodo,andGodknowsIwantednormalsobadly,forsolong.
ItwaswhyIhadenrolledincollegeeventhoughIalreadyhadacareer.Well,didhaveacareer in theOrder.Whoknewnow?But I longed toknowwhat itwasliketowakeupandgotoschoolorworkwithoutworryingaboutdyingonthejobordiscoveringthatmycoworkershadbeenkilled.Normalmeantgoingout to restaurants and themovies. Staying in andmarathoning showswithoutworrying at the possible, impending end of theworld.Normalmeant thatmybest friend hadnât ended up being a traitorous bitch and dying because of heractionsandchoices.
Normalwassounderrated.The bedside lamp flipped on without warning. Light flooded the room,
reaching towhere I stood. Some bizarre instinct roared to life. I didnât knowwhy,butIdidnâtwanttobeseenrightnow.Ibackedawayfromthelight,butthemomentmygazemetthoseleaf-greeneyes,Ifroze.
RenOwenswas . . . goodness, hewasbeautiful in awild sort ofway.Heremindedmeof autumns in northernVirginia, all golden and copper.His hairwasatumblingrussetmess,fallingoverhisforeheadandbeggingtobebrushedback.Thick,heavylashesIwasadmittedlyenviousofframedhisstunningeyes.His cheekbones were broad and they were matched by a hard, chiseled jaw.Renâsnosewascrooked,andsomehowthataddedtothebeautyofhisface.Hehad a lush pair of lips thatwere usually tilted in a grin, andwhen he smiled,therewerematching,deepdimples.
Those corners were straight now, forming a somber line, and there weredefinitelynodimples.
BeforeeverythingwiththePrincehappened,Renhadsleptshirtlessornudeandwehadnâtbeenabletokeepourhandsoffeachother.Seriously.Evenwhenwe were injured with our bodies aching, we couldnât ignore the chemistrysparkingbetweenus.ButsinceIcamebackâsincewewerereunitedâheworeashirttobed,alongwithboxersorsleeppants.
Allweâddonewaskiss.Threetimestobeexact,andtheywerechaste,sweetkisses that tastedofa
deeper,restrainedneed.IthinkthenightmareswerewhyRenwassleepinginclothes,becausethose
nightmaresstartedthefirstnightandhadoccurredeverynightafterthat.And those nightmares felt like premonitions. A warning of what was to
come,andIcouldnâtshake that feeling,notevenwhen thesunroseandIwassurrounded by people who hadnât given up onmeâwho cared enough to gobackintohellanddragmeout.
Isuppressedashudder.âPlease.âHe extended a hand towardme.My eyes tracked up the vibrant
vines tattooed onto his arm that disappeared under the white shirt he wore.âComebacktomeandstaywithme.â
Mybreath caught around the expandingknot inmy throat. Iwanted to betherewithhim.Desperately.ButI. . .IneededspaceandIneeded.. .IdonâtknowwhatIneeded.Ijustcouldnâtbehere.
âMaybe later,â I said, finallymoving. Imademyway to the small dresserwheresomeofmyclotheshadbeenstashedaway.Guiltcrawledupmy throatlikebile.âIfyouârestillawakewhenIgetback,wecanwatchsomething.â
âYoudidnâtcomebacklastnight.âIpulledoutapairofleggings.âIwasnâtabletofallbackasleep,soIdidnât
wanttobotheryou.ââYouknowyouâreneverabother tome.Ever.âTherewasapause.âAndI
didnâtgobacktosleep.Iwaitedforyou.âThekindofpatienceIdidnâthavekepthisvoicelevel.âIcangowithyoutothegym.Justgivemeââ
Whippingaround,Isawthathealreadyhadhislegsoffthebed.âNo!âRenfroze,hiseyeswideningslightly.âNo?âIclenched thepants inmyhands.âImean, Idonâtwantyou togetupand
feellikeyouhavetokeepmecompany.Iâvealreadywokeyou.Youshouldgobacktosleep.â
Hisshouldersroseonadeepbreath.âItâsnotabigdeal.Icangowithyou.âHestood,liftinghisarmsabovehisheadandstretching.âWecanhavearaceonthe treadmills.âHedroppedhisarms.âWhoever loseshas togo to thekitchenandstealtheboxofbeignetstheyhaveshippedineverymorning.â
Myheartwaspoundingashetookasteptowardmeandthenanother.Theroomwasnâtverylarge,soittooknotimeforhimtoberightinfrontofme.
âIjustneedtogetchanged.OrIcouldgolikethis?Whatdoyouthink?âheteasedwithasmallgrin.âMightnotbethemostcomfortablerun.â
Blood buzzed inmy ears asmy gaze dropped to hismouth.My stomachdippedasRenreachedforoneofmycurls.Heâdpullitstraightandletgo.Itwasafavoritepastimeofhis,andthen,ifthingswerenormal,heâdlowerhislipstomine. Anticipation swirled as a tight shiver curled its way down my spine.Pleasantwarmthinvadedmyveins.
ButdidIwanttokisshim?OrdidI...didIwanttofeedfromhim?ThefactthatIhadtoevenaskmyselfwasterrifying.Itookastepbackandbumpedintothedresser,rattlingit.Renwentstillasastatue.TersesilencefilledthespacebetweenusasIstared
upathimwithwideeyes.âIâmnotgoingtohurtyou,Ivy.Youknowthat,right?Youâresafewithme.Always.â
OhGod,didhethinkIwasworriedheâdhurtme?Ofcoursehewould.HowcouldIblamehimforthinkingthatwhenIwasasjitteryasacoffeefiendwhenhewasaroundme?
MyfaceburnedasIlookedaway.âIknowyouwouldnâthurtme.Iâmsorryââ
âStopapologizing,Ivy.Dammit.Juststopsayingyouâresorry.âIopenedmymouthandclosed itwhenI realized Iwasabout toapologize
again.Rensteppedback,givingmespace.âYouhavenothingtoapologizefor.âDidnât I, though? It sort of felt like therewas a list as long asmy arm to
apologize for, starting with the fact that I hadnât recognized the PrincemasqueradingasRenrightoffthebat.AndtherewasmoreâGod,therewassomuchmore,andwhenmyheadwasrunninginamilliondifferentplaces,itwashardtorememberthatRenwasnâtholdinganyofthisagainstme.
Buthowcouldhenot?Howcouldhesleeplikehedidatnight?Iwantedtoaskhimhowhewasmovingonfromthis,becauseheâdbeencapturedtoo.Heâdbeen fed onâfed on in the worst way, and there had been this female fae.Breena.Sheâdclaimed thatherandRen . . .Sheclaimeda lotof things,but Iknewifanyofitweretrue,Renhadnâtbeenawillingparticipant.
Rage replaced the warmth. I wanted to gouge her eyes out again, and Iplannedto.RightbeforeIkilledher.Slowly.Painfully.
Renwaswatchingmeinawaythatmademefeellikehesawrightintomyhead,andifthatwasthecase,thenheprobablywouldnâtlikewhathesaw.Hisshoulderstensedandthenheexhaledroughly.âOkay.â
Reliefsweptthroughme.Hisgazeflickeredoverme,andIthoughtthathemayhaveseenthewaymy
stance loosened in response to him backing off. His jaw tightened. âIâll bewaitingupforyou.â
Iknewhewouldbe.AndIknewthatdeepdownherealizedtherewasnopoint.
Chapter2
Mysneakerspoundedoff the treadmill, shaking thewhole thing likeaherdofcows were trampling on the contraption, but I ignored the sound. My handsballedintotightfistspumpedatmysides.Thecurlsthathadescapedmytwistnowclungtothenapeofmyneckandtemples.SweatrandownmythroatandpooledinareasIdidnâtwanttoevenacknowledge.
Running.Ugh.Ihatedrunningâhell,loathedallphysicalactivityonmostdays,butbeinga
memberof theOrder,destinedatbirth tohuntdownthefaewhowerefeedingoffmankind,Ikindofhadtobeinshape.
But Iwasnât on this treadmill at themoment because Iwas some kind ofpredestinedprotectorofmankind.Iwasjustrunning,becausetherewasnothingelseformetodo.Iwasstuckhere,basicallyonhousearrestatHotelGoodFae.SincethePrinceofthefreakingOtherworldcouldsniffmeoutlikesomekindofbloodhound,itwastooriskyformetobeoutroamingthenarrowstreetsofNewOrleans.
Mynailsdugintomypalms.Faye, who had been working undercover at the Princeâs mansion, had
explainedthattheglamoursurroundingHotelGoodFaewouldhidemypresencefromthePrince.ThatwasthekindofpowerthefaewhohaddescendedfromtheSummerCourthad.
AcourtthattheOrderhadtoldusdidnâtexistanylonger.MylipsthinnedasIpickedupspeed,literallygoingnowhere.TheOrderhad
lied about somuch. They knew that therewere good fae out thereâfaewhochosenot to feedoff humans,who livednormal lives, and aged anddied likehumans.TheOrderhadworkedalongsidethematonetime.
HadDanielknown?BeingtheleaderoftheNewOrleanssect,DanielCuvillierhadtoknowthe
truehistoryoftheOrderandthefae.Sothatmeantheâdalsolied,andforsomereasonitstunglikeabitch.DanielwastheclosestthingIhadtoafathersinceIwas shippedoff toNewOrleans.HewasanornerySOBandspentmore timecriticizingmethanhedidcomplimentingme,buthewas...hewasDanielandIhadtrustedhim.
AllofusintheOrderhadtrustedDanielâwetrustedtheOrderitself.
IdidnâtevenknowwhyIwasstressingaboutthis,becauseattheendoftheday,diditmatter?IdoubtedIwasstillanOrdermember.
Afterbeingmissinginactionforthelastmonthorso,andwiththeEliteâthe super special and secretive group within the Orderâscouting for theHalfling, Iwas sure they either thought Iwas dead or that Iwas theHalflingtheyâdbeensearchingfor.
ThatRenhadbeensentheretofind.IswallowedpastthesuddenriseofnauseaasIgavemyheadalittleshake.
Sweatflungout,dottingthecontrolpanel.TheproblemwasthatweneededtheOrdertoopenthedoorwayssowecouldsendthePrinceback.Ihadnoideahowwewouldcompletetheact,theso-calledbloodandstoneritual.Ithadtobedonein the Otherworld. How in the hell were we supposed to get the currentlymissingCrystalinsidetheOtherworldwiththePrinceâsblood,alongwithmine,onit?JustthinkingaboutthatmademybrainhurtandIwasnâtaboutthatkindofliferightnow.Mybrainsimplydidnâthavethespaceforanyofthat.
Last night, I foundmyself here after leavingRen in the room. Iwas hereagain, a handful of hours later, because running usually made my brain shutdown.WhenIranlikethis,pushingmybodyuntilmycalvesburned,mythighsached,andmyheart raced, therewas little roomleft to think anddwellon theweeksofmylifeIâdlostâtheweeksIâdspentwiththePrince.
Inormallydidnât thinkaboutthehorriddresshemademewearorthewayIâdbeenchainedtoabed.WhenIranuntilmymusclesfeltlikerubberabouttosnap,Icouldignoretheinsidioushungergnawinginmygutâthekindofhungerthatnoamountofbeignetsorcrawfishwouldsuccor.
When I ran to thepoint thatmy thighs felt likeblocksof cement, I didnâtthinkabouthowthePrincehad forcedme to feedon innocentpeople. Ididnâthear the whimpers they made when my sneakers were thundering off thetreadmill.Ididnâtfeeltheeuphoriathathadcomefromfeeding.
AndwhenIranuntilitfeltlikemychestwasonfire,IdidnâthavethespacelefttothinkaboutwhatthatbitchBreenahaddonewithRen.OrwhatthePrincehaddonetome...hadtriedtodotome.
Keeping my thoughts locked down was top priority at the moment, butrunningwasnâtworkingformenow.
Ineededtofocusonsomethingâanything.Mygazeflickeredoverthewall.TherewereseveralmountedTVs,butthey
were all turned off. Iâd never actually seen a faework out in here. I honestlydidnâtknowiftheyneededtoworkout.
Didthatmeantheycouldnâtgetthingslikeheartdisease?WhywasIeventhinkingâ
Thetreadmillâsbeltsuddenlystoppedundermyfeet,pitchingmeforward.Islammedmyhandsdownon the rails,catchingmyself seconds fromknockingmyheadoffthecontrolpanel.
âJesus,âIgrunted,liftingmygaze.Tink stoodbesideme, holdingonto the emergency cord. âGood afternoon,
Ivy-Divy.Iâmhappytoseeyourreflexesarestillonpoint.âStanding,IletgooftherailsandturnedtohimasIdraggedindeepbreaths.âButyourobservationskillssuckass,âheadded,cradlingthegrayslinghe
wore over his shoulders with one hand. âI reached right in front of you andunpluggedthatthing.â
âYouâreanasshole.âMychestroseandfellheavily.Hesmiledproudly.âIammanythings.Anassholeisoneofthem.âOneofthesedaysIwasgoingtostraight-upmurderTink.AndIhadalotof
reasonstoactlikeitwastimetoPurgewhenitcametohim.Startingoffwiththefactthatupuntilrecently,IthoughtTinkwasaboutthesizeofaKendoll.Thatâshow Iâd found the damn brownie in the St. LouisCemeteryNo. 1 , sufferingfromabrokenlegandatearinhisfragile,gossamerwings.Heâdbeenaboutafoottall,ifthat.
Iâdmadehimalegbraceoutofpopsiclesticksandnursedthelittlepunk-assbacktolifeeventhoughharboringanycreaturefromtheOtherworldwouldâvegottenmekilled.IstillreallydonâtknowwhyIâdsavedhim.Ijustfeltsobadforhim,butmaybe thepartofme thatwas faehad takenover,caring foranothercreatureoftheOtherworld.Whoknows?Andhowdidhethankmeforit?Spentmymoneyonbizarre,randomshitheorderedoffofAmazonPrime,hidfrommethat I was a halfling, and forgot to mention that he chose to be only twelveinchestall.That,infact,Tinkwasvery,verytall.
Andtotallyanatomicallycorrect.Seeing Tink all man-sized never failed to wig me out, because I never
thoughtofTink in thatway.Notonlyhadheseenmeinmyundiesahundredtimeswhenhewasminiaturesize,therewasnowalotmoreofTink,and....
AndadultsizeTinkwas...hot.Acknowledging that mademe puke a little in mymouth, but it was true.
Whenhewassmall,hehadthiscute,handsomelittlefaceandhewasjustTink,andnowthathewasallbig, thatcute littlefacehadbroadcheekbonesandhisbodywasrippedand...
Yeah.Iscrewedupmyface.SeeingTinklikethisstillmessedwithmyhead,butI
guessattheendofthedayhewasstillTink,andeventhoughIwantedtobitchslaphimintotheOtherworldoften,Isortof...Idonâtknow...lovedhim.
NotthatIâdevertellhimthat.Tinkâshairwassoblonditwasalmostwhite,andtodayhehaditspiked.He
waswearingjeansandathermal.Hemustâvegrabbedoneofthetowelsonthewayin,becauseheheldoneinhisfreehand.Iglancedatthebottomofthesling,where a little ballwas curled up.Heâd taken to carryingDixonâhis new petkittenâaroundinaslingthatIwasprettysurewasdesignedforhumanbabiesâ
Waitasecond.MyeyesnarrowedonthegraythermalTinkhadon.âAreyouwearingRenâs
shirt?ââYeah. I think it will endearme to him. Help us bond so we can be like
brothersfromadifferentmother.ââUh.Doubtful.âRenwasgoingtobepissed.âThatâsalsoalittleweird.ââWhy?Girlsshareclothingallthetime.ââYeah, the key word is share, Tink. You just took his shirt.â I couldnât
believeIhadtoexplainthis.âIsthattowelforme?ââYeah.Youlooklikeyouâvebeenswimminginaswamp.âHethrewitatme.
âButatleastyoudonâtlooklikeyoupoppedaneyeballanymore.ââThanks,â I muttered, wiping the towel over my face. When I made my
escape from themansion, one of the Princeâs minions had tried to choke theever-lovinglifeoutofme.Iâdburstabloodvesselinmyeyeduringthestruggle.Itwasjustasgrosstothinkaboutasitwastolookat.
Valor,thePrinceâsminion,wasagonerthough.Renhadtakenhimout.ThatwasoneAncientwedidnâtneedtoworryabout.
âI canât believe youâre in the gym again,â Tink went on, stepping aside.âWhyareyou inhere runningsomuch?Areyoupreparing for the impendingzombieapocalypse that Iknownothingabout?Because ifyouare,weneed tofindthenearestrednecktobecomebestfriendswith,onethat ishot inadirty,ruggedway.Youknow, thekind thatprobablysmells likesweatandman,onewith a complexbackground thatmakesyouhatehimat first, but slowly, overtime,yougrowtolovehim.â
Istaredathim.âYouâveputalotofthoughtintothis.ââIhave.Iliketobeprepared.Sinceweâreinthesouth,itshouldnâtbehardto
findone.So,whyareyouinthegymsomuch?âheasked,notmissingabeat.âWhatelsedoIhavetodo?âIdrapedthetowelaroundmyneckasIwatched
thelittleballatthebottomoftheslingstarttomovearound.âIdonâtknow.âTinkpattedtheoutsideof theslingandgota tiny,muffled
meow in return. âYoucould spend timewith someof thepeepshere.Theyâreprettycool.â
âYouthinktheyârecoolbecausetheyworshipyou.â
Hissmilewassowideitcouldâvecrackedhisface.âWell,yes,thereâsthat.Theyâresmart.â
Mostof the faeherehadnever seenabrownie.ThePrinceand theWinterCourtbasicallykilledoffTinkâskind.
âYou could also spend timewithMerle orBrighton,â he added. âMommaMerle isalmostalwaysout in thecourtyard,diggingupsomethingorplantingsomething.Sheâsinteresting.Weird.Butweirdcanbeentertaining,andMerleisentertaining. And I like Brighton.â He paused. âI donât think she likes me.Actually,Iâmprettysuresheâskindofscaredofme.â
Iarchedabrow.Tinksuredidliketoramble.âShesortofgoesintheoppositedirectionofwhereverIâmgoing.âHislips
pursed.âJustthismorning,Iwasinthecommonroom.Youknow,theroomyouneverhangoutin,butanyway,Idigress.Theroomhasallthesecoolgamesandcouches and shit. I was in there, winning a mean game of air hockey, andBrightonwalkedin,madeeyecontactwithme,andthenwalkedrightbackout.Idonâtunderstandwhy.Iâmsuperfriendlyandapproachable.IalsoknowthatIâmdamngoodlookingbyhumanstandards,too.â
I decided not to point out all theways he probably freaked out Brighton,becausethatwasarabbitholeIdidnotwanttofalldown.Besides,Ineededashowerstat,becauseIdidfeellikeIâdbeenswimminginaswamp.Isteppedoffthetreadmill,andthemomentmyfeethittheground,myentireworldwobbled.âWhoa.â
Tinkgrabbedmyarm,steadyingme.Thedizzinessvanishedasquicklyasitcameon.âAreyoudrunk?âheasked.
Isnorted,slippingfree.âIwish.Ididnâteatbreakfastorlunchyet.Thatwasdumbofme.â
Tinkwasquietashestudiedme.âDoyouthinkyoumightbeoverdoingit?ââOverdoingwhat?Sittingaroundonanunasked-forextendedvacation?ââYouhavenâtbeensittingaround.Youâreworkingout.Nonstop.ââIâmnotoverdoinganything.âIwalkedaway,edgingaroundthestationary
bikesandpastthelazy-mantreadmillsâtheellipticals.Tinkwasrightbehindme.âNotthatyouneedreminding,butyouwereheld
captiveforweeksandâââYouâreright.âIwhirledonhimastheever-presentangereruptedinsideme.
âIdonâtneedreminding.IknowwhereIâvebeen.ââButdoyouknowwhereyouâregoing?âheaskedsoftly.Iopenedmymouth,butIhadnoideahowtoanswer thatquestion.Where
was I going? The anger slipped away, swallowed by confusion and a nearlyoverwhelmingsenseofhelplessness.
God,Ihatedthatfeeling,becausethelasttimeIâdfeltthiswaywaswhenthefaehadkilledmyboyfriendShaunallthoseyearsago.Iâdbeenhelplessthen.IâdbeenhelplesswhenthePrinceputacollararoundmyneckandledmearoundonachain.
Iwasstillhelpless,trappedinHotelGoodFae.LittleDixonpoppedhisgrayheadoutof theslingand lookedaroundwith
sleepykitteneyes.Tinkreacheddownandscratchedathisear.âRenshouldbebacksoon.â
MystomachdippedlikeIwasonarollercoasterthatwasabouttoplummetdownasteephill.IhadnâtseenhimsinceIleftinthemiddleofthenight.
âIsawhimleavewithFaye.âA hot, suffocating feeling blanketed me, curling low in my stomach and
minglingwitheveryothercrappy thing Iwasgoing through.Theworld tastedbitterinmythroat,likeIwassufferingfromindigestion.
IhadnâtknownheâdleftwithFaye.Hadhesaidsomethingtomeaboutit?Icouldnât recall. Not that it mattered. I mean, I didnât suspect something oranything like that. Ren said he lovedme, that hewas in lovewithme, and Ibelievedthat.Totally.Ijust...
I wasnât out there with him. Someone else was, and my headâmy headwasnâtright.
âTheyweregoingout, trying tosee if theycould locate theCrystal thing.âTinkstillscratchedthelittlekittenâsearandDixonwaspurringlikeanengine.âYoubeingstuckherewhileyourmanisoutthere,workingtofixthishasgottosuckforyou.â
Idraggedmygazetohis.âReally?Areyoutryingtomakemefeelbetter?âIturned and started for the door. âJust so you know, itâs not working and yousuck.â
âIâmnottryingtomakeyoufeelbetter,âhereplied,followingme.âIâmjustpointingouttheobvious.â
âItâsnotnecessarytopointouttheobviouswhenitâsobvious,Tink.âTherewasbarelyahalfasecondofsilence.âYoudidnât joinus fordinner
lastnight.âThinkingthishadtobethelongestexerciseroomever,Ihurriedup.âYoudidnât joinusfordinner thenightbeforeorbefore that,âhewenton.
âAnd thatmeansIâvebeeneatingwithRen.Bymyself.We justmaykilleachother.â
âYouâllbefine.âIreachedthedoor,thankGod.âWhere have you been?â he asked. âYouâve been here, but you havenât
been.â
âIâm here, Tink. Iâve just . . .â I didnât know how to answer this becausewordsfailedme.HowcouldIexplainthateverytimeIwasaroundthefaetheystaredatmewithdistrustful,almostfearful,eyes?TheyknewwhatIwas.TheyknewwhythePrincehadheldmecaptive.TheyknewwhatIsymbolized.âYouknowhowIamwithawholelotofpeople.Youguyseatinthecafeteria.Iâmnotintogroupactivityââ
Tink grabbedmy arm, stoppingme from opening the door.He turnedmearound,andforonce,hisexpressionwasahundredpercentserious.âEatinginacafeteriaisnâtagroupactivity.âHisgazeflickeredoverme.âAnditdoesnâtlooklikeyouâvebeeneatingbyyourselfeither.â
Ilaughedatthat.âTrustme,Iâvebeeneating.Alot.Constant,actually.âAndthatwastruth.Ihadto,becauseifIdidnâtthehungergottome.âIâvejustââ
âBeenrunningtenmilesaday,drinkingtonsofcoffee,andnotsleeping?âMyeyeswidened.âWhoa.Areyoustalkingme?ââIâmpayingattention.SoisRen.âHisgazeremainedlatchedtomine.âYour
facelooksdifferent.ââWhat?ââYour cheeks are sunken in andyouhave these shadowsunder your eyes.
Theywerenâttherebefore.ââWow.Youârestartingtogivemeacomplex.ââLookslikeyoualreadyhaveone.âUncomfortable, I pulledmy arm free andwhipped the towel offmyneck,
tossingitintothenearbylaundrybasket.âThereâsnoreasontopayattentiontome.Okay?â
âIvyââBeforehecouldstopme,Iopenedthedoorandsteppedintothehall.Iwas
sonotinthemoodforthisconversation.JustlikeIwasnâtinthemoodwhenRenbroughtitup,whichfeltlikeeveryfiveseconds.
Renwanted to talk about thingsâthings that I didnât want to think aboutaroundanyone,butespeciallyaroundhim.
Ihurrieddownthehall,knowingTinkwasstillrightbehindme.Pickingupmypace,Ireachedtheendandturned,immediatelystoppingshort.
Tannerstoodinfrontofme.Hewastheleaderofthisplace.IkindofthoughtofhimasKingGoodFae,
buthewasnâtaking.Atleast,Ididnâtthinkhewas.When Iâd first seen him, I almost fell over in shock. He was the oldest
lookingfaeIâdseenat the time.Faint linesetchedinto thesilveryskinaroundhiseyesandhishairwasmoresaltthanpepper.
He was living and aging proof that he hadnât been feeding, at least not
regularlyenoughtostaveofftheagingprocess.âThereyouare.âTannersmiled,claspinghishandsinfrontofhim.Hewas
always dressed like he was going to a business lunchâdark trousers and abuttondownwhiteshirt.âIwaslookingforyou.â
âAwesome,âIchirped,happyforthedistraction.âWhatâsup?âTannerglancedatTink,hisgazedroppingtowhereIknewDixonhadtobe.
âIâvejustreceivedexcitingnews.ââAmazonPrimewilldeliverherenow?âTinkasked.Irolledmyeyes.Tannercontinuedtosmile,apparentlybesottedwiththeovergrownbrownie.
âNotyet,butweâreworkingonit.âTheywereseriouslyworkingonthat?GoodLord.âIwaslookingforyousinceIknewRenwasoutwithFaye,âTannerwent
on, and I tried to ignore the ugly, stupid twinge in my chest. âWeâve madecontactwithanothergroupwhowebelievecanhelpuslocatetheCrystal.Thatâsgreatnews,becausewhenIchecked inwithFayeearlier,herandRenwerenâthavinganyluckatFlux.â
Flux was a club that we knew was run by Ancients, namely Marlon St.Cryers, a huge developer in the city. Flux could possibly be one of the spotswherethissuperspecialCrystalwasstashedaway.
âReally?âExcitement hummed throughme, a trill inmyblood that hadnâtbeenthereinwhatfeltlikeforever.âHow?â
âTheyâre going to be here in a few days,â he said. âAnd they have a . . .uniquetalentforfindingthingsthataremissing.â
âUnique talent?âTinkmused, andwhen I glanced over at him, I saw thatDixonhadretreatedintothebellyofthesling.âIhavesomeuniquetalents.â
âAnd you think they can really help?â I cut Tink off before hewent intodetailthatnoneofuswantedtohear.
Well,maybeTannerdid.WhatdidIknow?Tanner nodded. âI really believe so.â His pale gaze flickered over me. âI
have some errands I need to get taken care of. I hope to see you at dinnertonight.â
âSure,âImuttered.He skedaddled at that point, leaving me with Tink. I turned to him,
wonderingifTannerhadhelpcoming,thenwhywereRenandFayestillatFlux?Or out there in general? But the moment I saw Tinkâs expression, I stoppedthinkingaboutit.
Hewasseriousagain.âWhereareyougoing?ââToshower.â
âAndafterthat?âIliftedashoulder.âIdonâtknow.Probablytograbsomethingtoeat.ââOkay.âHe extended a hand toward the lobby ofHotelGood Fae. âI can
comewithyou.ââIâmjustgoingtograbasnackandhangoutinmyroom.Iâmsureyouhave
betterthingstodo,âItoldhim,backingup.âLikeyouhaveanentireaudienceoffae more than ready to stroke your ego and allow you to beguile them withstories.â
Therewasnâtaflickerofchangeinhisexpression.Nogrin.Nosmugglintintheeyes.âAreyouokay,Ivy?â
âOfcourse,âIsaidwithalaugh.âIalreadytoldyouguysIwasokay.âAndIhadsaid that to them.Iâd toldTinkandRenIwasgoing tobeokay
thatdayoutontheswingâthedaythatfeltlikeforeverago,butIwasnâtokay.Iwasfarfromit.
Chapter3
Armsfoldedacrossmychest,Iambleddownthelong,narrowaisleoftheHotelGoodFaelibrary.Itwasonthesamelevelasthelobbyandgymbutwayoverinadifferentwing. Iâd accidentally found it a fewdays agowhile everyonewaseatingdinner.
And why did everyone eat dinner at the same time? Was that like someweird,SummerCourt fae tradition? Itwas like being in high school, butwithattractive,silvery-skinnedpeople...whowerenâtevenpeople.
Unfolding my arms, I reached out and trailed my fingers over the thicktomes.Someof thesebookshad tobedecadesold, ifnotolder.A lotwere inlanguagesIdidnâtunderstand.Furtherbackwere thenewerbooksanda lotofgenre fiction, like romance and suspense.They evenhad adecent, up todate,youngadultsection.
ThatwaswhereIwasheadingwhileeveryoneintheentire,massivebuildingwas sittingdown to eat dinner. From the aroma radiating from the cafeteria, Iwas thinking they were having pot roast. Normally that would have mesalivating,butmystomachtwisteduneasily.
Every day I was either starving or on the verge of vomiting, and thereseemedtobenoin-between.Atwhatpointwouldthisstop?AweekhadpassedsincethelasttimeIâd...Iâdfed.Thehungerhadtogoaway.
Ishouldprobablyasksomeoneaboutit.FayeknewwhatIâdbeenforcedtodo,butthatwouldrequiremeactuallytalkingtoherâtosomeone,whichyeah,thatwasnâthowIwantedtospendmytime.
Reaching the end of the aisle, I hung a right and moved further into thelibrary.Ilikeditinhere.Itwasquiet,andnoone,notevenTink,thoughttolookformehere.Icouldgrababook,findacorner,andjustsitandread.
AndthatwaswhatIdid.Ipickedupanoldhistoricalromance,thekindthathadabarrel-chesteddude
onitandachickwholookedsecondsawayfromlosingherdress.Ifoundalittlecubbyholetowardthebackandcurledupinacomfy,oversizedchair.
It took a couple of chapters forme to get lost in the story about a youngwomancaughtinafeudbetweenScottishwarlords.I lovedreading,but itwashard toconcentratewhen it felt like I shouldbeout there,doingmoreâdoingsomething.
Maybe that was what was wrong with me? Maybe I just wasnât used to
sitting around and doing nothing for dayswith no end in sight. Becausewhoknew?Icouldbesittingaroundforweeks.Maybeevenmonths.
Iwouldnâtmakeit.Exasperatedwithmythoughts,IrefocusedonwhatIwasreading.OnceIgot
mybrain to shutdown, Iwasengrossed.Socaughtup inpicturing the rollinggreenhillsandHighlandmiststhatIdidnâtheartheapproachingfootsteps.
âIvy.âStartled by the deep, smooth as sin voice, I nearly droppedmy book as I
liftedmy chin.Air punched out ofmy lungs themomentmy gaze connectedwitheyesthecolorofspringleaves.
Ren.Ihadnotbeenexpectinghimtofindme.âHey,âIsaid,findingmyvoiceasIclosedtheoldpaperback.Myhidey-hole
wasnolongerahidey-place.âWhatareyoudoinginhere?âHis brows lifted atmy question, and I immediatelywished I hadnât asked
that.ItcameacrossasifIdidnâtwanttobefound,andwell,Ididnât,butIalsodidnâtwantRentoknowthat.
âImean, isnât it dinner time?â I quickly added, feelingmy cheeks heat. ItwasanotherdumbquestionIregrettedatonce.
âYeah, it isdinner.âMovingcloser,hesatdownonmychairandstretchedouthislonglegs.âThatâswhyIâmlookingforyou.â
Iâddonethewholedinnerthingthefirsttwonightshere,forcedmyselftoeatthroughthestaresofcuriosityanddistrust.IdonâtknowhowRendidit,butthiswasthefirstnighthehadactuallycomelookingforme.Well,asfarasIknew.Ifhehadandjustcouldnâtfindme,hedidnâtbringitupatnight.
âIjustgotcaughtupreadingthisbook,âIlied.âIhopeyoudidnâtinterruptyourdinnertofindme.â
AweirdlookIcouldnâtquitedecipherflickeredoverhisface,butwasgonebeforeIcouldfigureoutwhatitwas.Heglanceddownatthebook.âHaveyoubeenhereallday?â
âUm,Iâvebeenhereforawhile.âHebitdownonhislowerlip.Amomentpassedinstrainedsilence,and...
well, thingswere justweirdbetweenus.Anditwasallbecauseofme.Iknewthat.Iwasmakingthingsweird.ThedayoutontheswingâthedayIfeltlikeIhadthis,thatwithRenandTinkbymyside,everythingwouldbehandledânowfeltlikeadifferentlife.
Lettingoutalong,slowbreath,heleanedforward,restinghiselbowsonhisknees. âI got back a couple hours ago and looked for you. First thing I did,actually.â
My heart squeezed as a wave of guilt washed over me. His unspokenquestion hung in the air between us. Where were you? Good question. Ishouldâvebeenavailable,waitingforhim.Anythingcouldâvehappenedwhilehewasoutthere.ThePrince,theOrderâanything,andIhadworried,butIhadnâtwaitedforhim.
IfoundaplacetohideawayandthatâswhatIdid.Ren lookedaway, focusingononeof the shelves. âI checked thegym, the
common rooms, and the courtyard. Shouldâve known to look here, you littlebooknerd.âHisgrinwasbrief.Stillnodimples.âIthought...Ithoughtyouâdbeintheroomorsomewhere,youknow,easilyfindable.â
The guilt surged, coursing throughmy veins like battery acid. âIâm sorry.Thetimejustkindofgotawayfromme.âIcurledmyfingersaroundthebook.âSo,whathappenedatFlux?â
âWewereabletosneakin.âThelineofhisjawsoftenedalittle.âFayeusedglamouronthehumans.Canâtbelievethedamnplaceisopen.Therewasstaffthereandafewlowerlevelfaewetookcareof.â
IwaskindofsurprisedFluxwasopenandrunning.The last timeIâdbeenthere,ithadbeenamassacre.Bodieshangingfromtheceilingandall.AsightIwouldnoteasilyforget.
âWedidnâtfindanything,âhecontinued.FayehadneverseentheCrystalatthehousethePrincewasholedupin,soithadtobestashedawaysomewhere.âWhilewewereout,wedecidedtocheckoutsomeofthecemeteries.Nothingsuspiciousthere.â
âDidTannerget aholdofyouguys?â Idroppedmygazewhenhe lookedoveratme.
âYeah.â There was a beat of silence. âSaid someone or something wascomingtohelpuslocatetheCrystal,butIâllbelieveitwhenIseeit,youknow?IfthatCrystalwasnâtatthemansion,thenitâsgottobesomewherehere.â
Inodded.âHowisitworkingwithFaye?ââWeird,â he answered, and thankfully, there wasnât a twinge of jealousy.
âWhoeverthoughtweâdbeworkingalongsidethefae?ââIt hadnever crossedmymind.â I didnâtpointout that technicallyhewas
dating someonewho could be considered fae since Iwas a halfling. âDo youthinktheEliteknew?â
Ren had been raised in the secretive sectwith theOrder, destined to be amember.âIneverheardanythinglikethat,buttheElitehadtoknow.âHisvoicehardened,and Ipeekedup.Hewas focusedonabookshelfagain.His lipwascurledindisgustwhenhecontinued,âKylehadtohaveknown.â
Ifeltthesamedisgust.KyleClareranthegroupofElitethatRenhadcome
from,andhewasadick.Agiant, flamingdickheadwhohadkilledRenâsbestfriendNoah.
Noahhadturnedouttobeahalfling,leavingRentornbetweenhisdutyandsomeonehecaredabout.Thesameexactpositionhefoundhimselfinwithme.
âThatâs the thing that keeps getting to me.â Ren tipped his head back,workinghisneck fromside to side. âWhywould theykeep the fact that therewerefaeouttherewhoweregoodasecret?Thattheyworkedsidebysidewiththem?â
âIdonâtknow,âIwhispered.Thatwasthequestionoftheyearitseemed.Renâs gaze foundmine. âWeâve hadOrdermembers dying in the fucking
streetseveryweekfightingthefae.Howmanydiedthenightthedoorwaywasopened?â
âSixteen,âIanswered,anumberIâdneverforget.âAndthewholetimetherewasthisplacefulloffaethatcouldfightbyour
side,whowantthesamethingaswedo.Itâsbullshit.âItwas a lot of things.Bullshitwas only one of them. âIâve been thinking
aboutit.Ijustcanâtbelievethereisnâtareason.Iâmnotsayingitâsajustifiableone,butwhydid theOrder take theCrystal from these fae, andwhydid theyhide their old alliance from all of us? It has to be something big.â I glanceddownthesilentaisles.âAndIcanâtbelieveitwasjusttheOrder.EspeciallysinceTanner hasnât been exactly forthcoming on the hows and whys of whathappened.â
âYeah,wheneverIâvebroughtitup,heâsdodgedthequestion.SohasFaye.âHeleanedover,hisarmbrushingagainstmybentleg.âAndyouknowwhattheyalwayssay.Therearethreesidestoeverystory.â
âTheOrder.TheSummerCourt.Andthetruth,âIanswered.âDoyou...doyoutrustthemâthefaehere?â
WhenRenâsgazefoundmineagain,Ididnâtlookaway.âIdoorIwouldnâthavegivenupthedaggerstostayhere.â
Tannerhadaskedthatourweaponsbehandedover,justincase.Wehad,butthethornstakeremainedinourroom,becausethosethingswererareandweretheonlyweaponthatcouldtakeoutanAncient.
âWeâve been vulnerable, so theyâve had plenty of chances to take us out.Theyhavenât.Theyâvemadesureweâvebeenfed,havea roofoverourheads,and weâre somewhere safe. Plus, they helped get you here.â He reached in,lightlytouchingmyhandwiththetipsofhisfingers.âDoyoutrustthem?â
Mygaze dropped to his fingers.Truthfully, therewere only two people inthisentireworldthatItrustedahundredpercentrightnow.Renand,ascrazyasitsounded,Tink.Iâdlearnedthehardwaythatnomatterhowwellyouthought
youknewsomeone,thatdidnâtmeanyoureallydid.Valwasproofofthat.âItrustyou,âIsaid.Renquietly slippedhishandundermypalm, threadinghis fingers through
mine.My breath caught as a knot of emotion swelled inmy chest. Slowly, Iclosedmyfingersaroundhis.Heliftedourhandstohismouth,placingakisstothe top of my hand. A whirling cyclone of yearning and hesitation formed atangledmessinsideme.IwantedtoclimbintohislapandIwantedtorunaway.
Heloweredourhandstohisthigh.âLetâsgograbdinner.âYeswasonthetipofmytongue,butthatwasnâtwhatcameoutofmymouth
as Ipulledmyhand free.âIalreadygrabbedsomething toeat,butyoucangoahead.Iâmgoingtogetbacktomeninkilts.â
Amuscleflexedalonghisjawandthenhisexpressionsmoothedout.âWhatdidyoueat?â
RecallingtheconversationwithTink,IwentintoexaggerateddetailonwhatIâdconsumedtoday.Halfofitwasalie.AfterIâdshowered,IhadeatenagiantbowlofCheeriosandapeanutbuttersandwich.BothhadsettledinmystomachlikeleadandtherehadbeenafewtersemomentswhereIthoughtIwasgoingtospendtherestoftheafternoonprayingtotheporcelaingod.
WhenIwasfinished,IwasnâtquitesureifRenbelievedmeornot.âOkay,âhedrewthewordout.âThencomesitwithmewhileIeat.â
Tension seeped intomymuscles.Knowing that thecafeteriawouldbe jampackedwithfaeâwithfaethatknewexactlywhatIwasandwhatthePrincehadwantedfrommeâturnedmystomach.
Ipressedbackintothecushionof thechair.âI thinkIâmjustgoingtochillhere.â
Disappointmentflashedacrosshisface,andIhadtolookaway.âIvy.âTherewasapauseasIfelthisintensegazeonme.âImissyou.â
âIâve been right here,â I said, trying to suppress the sudden surge ofirritation.Beingirritatedwithhimwasnâtright.Renwasdoingnothingwrong.Idrewinadeepbreathandforcedasmile.âIhavenootherplacetogo.â
âYouârehere,Sweetness.âHisvoicewassoft,but I flinchednonethelessattheuseofthenickname.Ishouldâveknown.WhenthePrincewasmasqueradingasRen,henevercalledmethat.âPhysically,youârehere,butthatâsaboutit.â
Iopenedmymouth,butIdidnâtknowhowtorespondtothatbecausehewasspeakingthetruth.Noonehadtobeobservanttoseethat.
Hewaitedformetorespond,andwhenIdidnât,hisshouldersliftedwithadeepbreath.Herose,andwhenhespoke,histonemademychestache,becausethere was this . . . immeasurable gulf between us and it just kept growing,expandinguntilIworriedthatthereâdbenobridgebigenoughforeitherofusto
cross.âIâmgoingtograbsomefood.Youknowwheretofindme.âPressingmylipstogether,Inodded.Renstareddownatmeforamoment,andIthoughthemightsaysomething,
buthedidnât.Heturnedandwalkedaway,hisbackstraightandstiff.AndIsatthere,staringatthespaceheâdstoodinlongafterheâdgone.
Iwantedhimtostay.Iwantedhimtopickmeupanddragmetothecafeteria.ButIalsowantednothingmorethanwhatheâdjustdone,whichwastoleave
mealonewiththeemptiness.
Chapter4
Aseveninggrew into night, I gaveupon reading and left the library. I reallydidnât have a plan forwhere Iwas going.Antsy, Iwas just roaming the hallswhileavoiding,well,everyone.
IknewnomatterhowlongIavoidedgoingbacktotheroom,Renwouldbeawake.Heâdjustbelyingthere,gazegluedtotheTV,whetheritwasnineortwoin the morning. Every night he waited for me while I got changed in thebathroomlikeIwassixteenagain.Thecoversonmysideofthebedwerepulledback.Iâdclimbinandlaydown,andafewsecondswouldpass,andthenheâdcurlaroundme,holdingmetightagainsthischest.
That contact, his chest againstmy back, his arm aroundmywaist, alwaysfrazzledme.Itwas toomuchandnotnearlyenoughallatonce,but itwas theonlythingthathelpedmefallasleep.
RenwastheonlyreasonIfellasleep.Islept themeagerhours that Imanagedtogeteverynightbecauseofhim,
becausehewaitedforme.Becauseheâdbeennothingbutpatient,andGod,hewassuchagoodguy.Perfect.Forreal.Hecouldevenfoldfittedsheets,andwhocoulddothat?Iwasjustbeingso...sofreakingscrewedup.
I stopped just outside the courtyard and stared up at the hundreds andhundredsoftwinklingstringlights.
WhenIfirstsawtheoldPowerPlantoffPetersStreet,ithadlookedlikeoneof the many rundown, abandoned buildings, but that was some powerfulglamour.NowIsawitforwhatittrulywas:abeautifullyrenovatedbuildingthatrivaled any of the swanky hotels in New Orleans. Faye had said they couldhouse hundreds of fae who were looking for a safe place to hide out. Thecourtyardwasbeautifulâpeaceful.ThatwaswhyIoftenfoundmyselfouthere.Icouldjustsitandbealone.
IcouldthinkâthinkaboutallthethingsIdidnâtwanttothinkaboutaroundotherpeople.
AsIwalkedunderthepaperlanternsandtwinklingstringlights,IwonderedifthiswaswhatpartsoftheOtherworldlookedlike.
ThatwassomethingIâdneverthoughtaboutbefore.IfollowedthepathtowardwhatInowconsideredmyswing.Therewasan
unseasonable chill to the air, and locals probably thought it was too cold. Iwouldâve been loving it except I knew it was because theWinter Court was
spillingintoNewOrleans.Thatkindoftookthefunrightoutofthecoldsnap.Stoppingatthepathway,Ifoldedmyarmsovermywaistandlistened.Itwas
strange.TherewasthedistantsoundoflaughterandconversationcomingfromtheinsideofHotelGoodFae.Buttherewerenosirens.Noblaringhorns.NewOrleans never slept and itwas never quiet.Not like this. It had to be the fae.Theyhadmagicalsound-blockingtalentsorsomething.
Damn,iftheycouldbottleandsellthat?I found my way to the swing and sat, using my toes to push myself.
Unfoldingmyarms, Iplacedmyhandsonmy thighsandclosedmyeyes.Mystomachchurned,causingmetosuckinasharpbreath.
IwassodamnhunâNope.Openingmy eyes, I exhaled long and slow. I looked around, taking in the
fullybloomed iriseswhile I ignored the tremor rollingupanddownmyarms.ThenIdidwhatIdideverynight.
Drake.Everymuscle inmybodylockedup,squeezingmychestand throatuntil I
thoughtImightvomit.Drake.Drake.Drake.IrepeatedthePrinceâsnameoverandoverinmyhead.Ikeptsayingituntil
someofthetensioneasedupandthepressurerecededfrommychest.IsaidhisnameuntilIdidnâtwanttohurlanylonger.
These mental gymnastics were harder than running on a treadmill.Desensitization. Because how would I face Drake if the mere thought of hisnamemademewanttopuke?
Shivering as sharp wind picked up, I looked around the courtyard. Theflowers stirred and the lights swayed. The place was as empty as I felt, anddammit,Ihatedthatâhatedthis.
Becausethiswasnâtme.ItwasnâtwhoIwas.Sowhat in thehellwas I doingout here? I shouldbe insideâI shouldbe
talking toRen.Wewere a team.Partners.Lovers.Friends. I needed to talk tohim.TellhimwhatIwasfeeling,becauseifIjustgotthosewordsout,Iknewheâd help me make sense of them. I needed to tell him about the incessanthunger.
Icouldtalktohimaboutit. Icouldtalktosomeone, tell themâtellRenâthatIdidnâtfeellikemyself.ThatsomehowIâdlostwhoIvyMorganwas.
BecauseIcouldnâtkeepdoingwhatIâdbeendoing,roamingaimlesslyand
hiding.Thatwasnâtbraveatall,butmostimportantly,itwasnâtsmart.IknewenoughfromthePsych101classIâdtakenatLoyolathatsometimes
talking to someone was the best medicine out there. It might not fix all themessinessinmyhead,butithadtohelp.Itwasthefirststepinthewholehealinganddealingwith trauma thing.Puttingwhat Iwas feeling intowordswas likecuttingoutthatdarknessinsideme.
I would find Ren and I would talk. I would definitely say something offreakingvalue.
Standingupfromtheswing,Ihurriedinsideandbackdownthehall,walkingbyseveralcloseddoorswhileIkeptmygazeoffthefaethatpassedme.Noneofthemeverapproachedmewhenwecrossedpaths.Mostdidnâtevenlookinmydirection.Iwonderedif theytreatedRenthesameâifitwasbecausewewereOrdermembersorifitwasbecauseIwastheHalfling.
Thatwasaquestionprobablybestleftunanswered.AsInearedoneofthelargecommonareas,Iheardsomethingthatbrought
metoacompletestop.IheardRenâslaughter.Drawntoitinawaythatwasalmostuncontrollable,Iinchedalongthewall
likeatotalcreeper.Stoppingjustbeforethewidearchwaythatledintotheroom,Ileveleduponthewholecreeperthingandpeeredinside.
TinkwasthefirstpersonIsaw,andIwaskindofshockedthathewasintheroomwithalaughingandnon-murderousRen.
Tink was sitting on the arm of the couch, near a very uncomfortableBrighton.Herblondehairwaspulledbackinaponytail, likealways.Brightonwas inhermid-thirties, but she looked like shewas adecadeyounger, havingthisagelessqualityabouther,muchlikehermother.
SittingbesideBrightonwasafaeIâdmetonthenightIâdescapedthePrince.Hehad fair hair, so I knew itwasKalen.Tink claimedhe couldnât tellKalenapartfromDane,theotherfaethathadbeenpartofRescueIvyOperation,butDanehaddarkhair,soIhadnoideawhyhehadsomuchdifficulty.
Renwassittinginachair,hisprofiletothedoorway.Hewasleaningback,ananklerestingonhisknee,acheekplantedonafist.Hewassmilingandhisshoulders were loose. His entire body appeared that way. Ren looked . . .relaxed.
Ihadnâtseenhimlooklikethatsince...sinceItoldhimIwastheHalfling.Of course, the next time Iâd seen him it hadnât been him but the Princepretendingtobehim.RenhadbeencapturedthesamenightIbrokethenewstohim.IdidnâtseetheârealâRenagainuntilthePrincetookmetothecellwheretheyâdbeenholdinghim.
Bitingonmylip,mygazeslippedfromhimtoFaye.Shewasinherhumanform. Dark hair. Rich brown skin. Beautiful. She was perched on the arm ofRenâschair.
Istartedtotastebloodinmymouth.Lettinggoofmy lip, I crossedmy arms asFaye smileddown atRen like
theywereallbuddy-buddy.Imean,not that Iwas jealous,but Iguessedscouting togetherwasagreat
waytobond.ThatwashowRenandIgrewcloseâokay,Istoppedthatlineofthought before I ran into the common room, grabbed Faye by her hair, andrippedheroffthearmofthechair.
Tinkwouldtotallyapprovesinceheloveddramaofallkinds.Therewereotherfaeintheroomwiththem,onesIdidnâtrecognize,butmy
gazecrawleditswaybacktoTinkandRen.Theylookedso . . .well-adjusted, like thiswasanormalnight,anydayof
theweek.Happyeven,andmostimportantly,theywereatease.Neitherofthemwere that way around me. Not even Tink. Sure, he was Tink, but even hesometimesseemedlikehewaswalkingoneggshellsaroundme.
TalkingtoRenabouteverythingtookabackseat.Thelastthingheneededatthemomentwastodealwithmyemobullshit,becauseheâdbeenthroughsomenastystufftooandheneededmomentslikethis.Momentswherehecouldjustrelaxandbenormalandnotdwellonwhathappenedtohimâtous.
Ididnâtwanttotakethatfromhim.I stepped back and turned around, starting toward the elevators when I
stopped.WherewasIgoing?Sighing,Ipivotedandmademywaybacktothecourtyard.AfterbeingheldinthatdamnroomatthePrinceâsmansionforweeks,Ididnâtwant tobecoopedup inyetanother room. Itwaschillyoutside,but Ipreferredgoosebumpsoverfourwallsandadoor.
Followingthepathwayoncemore,Iletmyfingerstrailacrosstheleafyvinesthat all but covered the archway.Outside of this place, the vines and flowerswere starting to die because of the cold spell, but everything was alive here.Enchanted.MaybethatwaswhyIfounditsopeaceful?Imovedfurtherintothegarden,furtherawayfromHotelGoodFae.
âHey.âStartledbythevoice,Iturnedwithaslightfrown.Amalefaestoodseveral
feetfromme.Ihadnâtseenhimbefore,butheappearedtobearoundmyage.Iglanced over my shoulder. Of course, no one stood there. I faced the fae,surprisedsincenoneofthemeverspoketome.âMe?â
The faeâs hands opened and closed at his sides. âYouâre the only personstandinghere,right?â
Wow.Okay, thatwassomeunnecessaryattitude.âYeah,but Ihaveanameanditâsnotâhey.ââ
His jaw tightened and those pale blue eyes were practically on fire as hesteppedforward.âIknowwhatyournameis,butitdoesnâtmatter.Yournameisirrelevant.â
âWhoa.âIbarkedoutashortlaugh.âArenâtyouwarmandfuzzy?âHeignoredthecomment.âWhyareyouhere?âThatseemedlikeastupidquestion.âWell,itâskindofalongstory,butIcan
giveyoutheversionfordummiesifyouâdlike?âThefaesneered.âWeallknowwhatyouareandwhatthatmeans.Thatâsall
weneedtoknow.âInwardly,myentirebodycringed,butIkeptmyexpressionblankasImoved
towardhim.NowaywasIgoing to lethimknowthatbotheredme.âIknewIshouldnâthaveupdatedmyFacebookstatustohalfling.â
Hislipspeeledback.âYoustandthereasifthisisallajoke,inaplacesacredtous,whileputtingallofourlivesindanger?Iâmgladyoucanfindthehumorinthis.â
All thesnappyresponsesdiedon the tipofmy tongue.âHowamIputtingyour lives indanger?Look, justbecauseIbelongedto theOrderdoesnâtmeanIâmsecondsawayfromkillingyouall.â
âIthasnothingtodowithyoubelongingtotheOrderoryourindiscriminatekillingofourkind.â
SoundedanawfullotlikeithadtodowiththeOrder.The faeâs eyes narrowed. âIt has everything to do with you being the
Halfling. The Princewill eventually find you here.We all know it. Itâs just amatter of time, and when he does, he wonât just take you and leave. Heâllslaughterallofus,â the fae shotback, chillingmyblood. âIs it so funnynow,Halfling?â
Mybodywentcold.âIwastoldthatthisplacewasprotectedâââIt is, butnot for long.Theglamourwill fail.âThe sneer slipped fromhis
face.âAndthatiswhywehavenootheroption.Aslongasyouârehere,weareall indanger.My family.My friends.Theyâll alldiebecauseTannergaveyoushelter.â
I didnât get the chance to ask him to explain the whole option thing. Afootstepsnappedatwigbehindme.Intheverybackofmymind,Icursedmyselffornotbeingobservantâfornotscopingoutthelocation,nomatterhowsereneitseemed.
IwastrainedintheOrdersincebirth.Ishouldhaveknownbetter.Butitwastoolate.
BeforeIcouldevenfullyregisterwhatwashappening,red-hotpaineruptedalongmyback,radiatingthroughmysideanddownmylegs,droppingmetomyknees.
Chapter5
Timesloweddowntoaninfinitecrawlassticky,wetwarmthcascadeddownmyback.ShockingpainrobbedmylungsofbreathasIplantedasteadyinghandonthepavement.Inastunnedstateofdisbelief,Iplacedmypalmtomyback.
Gasping out a sharp cry, I immediately regretted the decision. Jerkingmyhandback,Icouldseeitwascoveredininkydarkness.Blood.Lotsofblood.Itmadetheairsmellmetallic.
Iâdbeen...stabbed.Holyshit,Iâdbeenstabbed!Snappingoutoftheshock,Ilurchedtomyfeetandspunjustintimetosee
themoonlightreflectoffagnarlylookingbladearcinghighaboveme.Instincttookover.Icaughttheattackerbythearmandtwisted.Thecrackofbonedidnâtfillme
withgleelikeitnormallywould,becausethemovementtoreatmyside,sendinganotherwaveofblisteringpainthroughmybody.Istumbledinitswakejustasthefaefellforward,droppingthebladeasitcradleditsbrokenarmtoachestâalargechest.
Thefaewasfemale.âYoustabbedme!âIgaspedout.She liftedherhead just as I slammedmyknee intoher chin, snappingher
headback.She toppledbackward, either knockedout or deadby the time shelandedonherback.
Ireachedtomywaistforadagger,onlyrememberingquicklythatIhadnoweapons.Weâdpromisednottocarrythem.Dammitalltoâ
A body slammed into my back, taking me down into the nearby bush.Landingonmyback,ascreampunchedoutofme,rippingthroughthenightair.Myentirebodywentstiffwithpain,andforasecond,onlyadamnsecond,Iwasimmobile.
Anditwasasecondtoolong.Iwas flippedontomy stomach.Weight landedonme.Kneesdug intomy
backasIcrashedthroughthickleavesandflowers.Dirtandbranchesdugintomyfaceashandsforcedmyheaddown.Mouthopen,IdraggedindirtandGodknowswhatelseasIscreamedinrage.
Iknewbetter.Iknewbetter.Thewordskeptrecycling.Thereweretwofae,maybemore, and I turnedmy damn back on at least one of them. Twice. So
stupidâdeadlystupid.Iknewbetter.Istruggledtoliftmyheadoutofthedirt,managingtotakeinagulpofclean
air a moment before my face was slammed down once more with excessiveforce. Wet warmth exploded across my face, filling my mouth as I reachedaround, trying to grab one of the hands that were bound and determined tosmothermeinadamnbutterflybush.
âJustletgo,âthevoicesaidintomyear.âJustletgoandmakethiseasieronyourself.â
Letting go meant being suffocated in a bush and that was just not how Iwantedtoleavethisworld,sothatwasgoingtobeabigfatnope.
âI canât let you live,â he continued. âI havemy family to think about.Wehavethiscommunitytoprotect.â
Liftingmylegsup,IslammedmyhandsintothebushâthroughthebushâandpushedmyselfupwitheveryounceofstrengthIhadinme.Spacebetweenthegroundandmegrew.Diggingin,IgruntedasIflippedmybody.
Thefaewentalongfortherideuntilheslidoffmyback,takingmewithhim.Ilandedonhischest.Bothofuswerestunnedforamoment.ThenIsprangintoaction.Liftingmyrightarm,Ibroughtmyelbowdown, jabbing thebastard intheside.Aribgaveway.Maybetwo.
Hegrunted,armsfallingtohissides.Rollingoffhim,Iscrambledsideways,leapingtomyfeetasIliftedmyhands.
Ohshit.MyeyeswidenedasIstaredatmylefthand.Therewasabranchâamother-
lovingbranchâimbeddedcleanthroughthecenterofmyhand!âOh my God!â I shouted as I reached with my good hand, gripping one
bloodyend.âHolyshit,thereâsabranchinmyhand!ââShouldâvebeeninyourhead,âthefaemuttered.âRude,âIgasped.Thefaewhirledtohisfeet,movinginsanelyfast.Ididnâtgetachancetopull
thebranchout,soIsteppedtothesideandswungmyhandoutwithoutthinking.Mybranch-handslammedintothefaeâsface.Hefelltotheside,takingmewithhim. I landedonmyknees.Thefaehowledasbloodpouredoutofhisgapingmouth.
âSweetJesus,âIgroaned.Mybranch-handhadmissedhiseye,butmyhandwasnowattachedtohischeek.Thebranchhadgonethroughhischeek.
Sofreakinggross.Tearingmybranch-handfree,Iclimbedtomyfeetandgrabbedoneendof
thebranch.DizzinessrolledthroughmeasIsteppedback.Iyankedthebranchfree,screamingastheburnspreadallthewayupmyarm.Nauseatwistedupmy
stomach.Once Ihad thebranchout, I tossed itaside.Amoment later, thedamnfae
wasonhisfeet,hisfacebloody.âGoodGod,âIexclaimed,loweringmyruinedhand.âYourfaceisdisgusting.â
Thefaeletoutaroarandchargedme.Idartedtotheside.OrthoughtIdid,butmyreflexesweredull.Hecaughtmylefthandandsqueezed.Rageandpainpoweredthroughme.Idrewhimforward,bringingmykneeupatthesametime.Icaughthiminthemidsection,butitbarelywindedhim.Withhisfreearm,hebackhandedmestraightintonextweek.
Ifell,crackingdownononeknee.âShit.âWhenwas the last time a normal fae had knockedme around like that? I
couldnâtremember.Ithadtobeyears.The next blow almost put me flat on my back, but I pushed through it,
regainingmy footing.The faeand Iwent toe to toe, andwithno trueweaponlikeanirondagger,itwasgoingtorequirecreativityandstrengthtooutlastthefae.
Butmy stepswere too slow.The kicks I delivered lacked any real power.Evenmypuncheswereweakandoff.Thetimeoutoftrainingandcombathadtakenitstoll.Iwasnâtprepared.Myheadwasnâtintherightplace.
ThatwaswhyIwasgettingmyasskickedbyanormalfae.EachhitItookeitherbrokeskinormywill.Eachnewburstofpainseemed
shockinglytooreal.EachtimeIgotknockeddown,itwashardertogetbackup.ButIdid.Ikeptgettingbackup.Draggingmyselftomyfeet,Iwipedthebloodoutofmyeyes.Well,oneeye.
Theotherwasswellingandblurring.OnlyahandfulofminuteshadpassedsinceI literallygotstabbed in theback,butmymuscles felt like leadandmybonesfeltbrittle.
AndIwasstillbleeding.Whatevernoiseweweremakingwaslostinwhateverdamnenchantmentthe
fae had on the courtyard.My feet were heavy as I shuffled off the pathway,closertotheentrance.
RenandTinkwere justmereyardsaway,but theycouldbe inanothercityforallitmattered.
Breathing heavy, Iwhirled around, searching for someweapon. The knifewaslostinthedarkness,besidethestillpronefemalefae.
âYou grow tired.â Blood and spittle dripped from the faeâs mouth. âYougrow weaker with every passing second. How youâve fought our kind andsurvivedalltheseyearsisbeyondme.â
âScrew you,â I bit out, swaying. Ormaybe it was the courtyard that wasmoving. I had no idea. That statement just pissed me off, but he was right.Focus, Ivy. Ihad tobe smart. Iwasweakand tired,andbackupwascurrentlychilling,havingalovelyevening.Iwasnâtgoingtowinthis.Noway.
Iwasgoingtohavetotucktailandrun.âYouhavetodie.âThefaeâswordsweremushy.âItâsnothingpersonal.You
justneedtodieandthenthePrincewonâtcomeforyou.ââDying sounds pretty personal to me.â The back of my neck tickled. I
thoughtIheardmovementinthecourtyard.Thefaeattacked.Dippingtoavoidameanuppercut,Ishiftedmyweightandkickedoutwith
my foot. I landed the maneuver, swiping the bastardâs legs right out fromunderneathhim.Hewentdowninafleshysmack,andIdidnâtwastetime.
Isnatchedupaheavyriverrockandbroughtitdownonthesideofhisheadwith everything I had in me. The sickening crunch rattled my entire body.Fallingontomyside,Idroppedthebloodiedrock.
Breathingheavy,Isqueezedmyeyesagainstthetopsy-turveythecourtyardwascurrentlydoingasIsatbackâfellbackâontomybutt.Inmychest,itfeltlikemyheartwas...stuttering.
Okay.Ineededtogetup.Ineededtogetinsideandfind...IneededtofindRen.Ihadtotellhim...
WhatdidIhavetotellhim?Everything.Ihadtotellhimeverything.My head was swimming, and I was lying flat onmy back. How did that
happen?Iwasnâtsure,butIknewifIkeptlyinghere,Iwasnâtgettingbackup.Iwoulddie.Youaredying.Thevoicethatwhisperedinmythoughtswasashocktomy
system. Iwas . . . Iwas dying.All the sticky blood coveredmy entire body.Therecouldnâtbemuchleft.
Blinkingslowly, Idrew ina shudderingbreath.Thiswasmyowndoing. Ihadnât been in any shape to fight.Not eating right.Not sleeping. I shouldâvebeenpayingattention.Ishouldâveknown.Thatwasanamateurishmistake,justlikeall thoseyearsagowhenIkilledthefaebeforeIâdbeenauthorizedto.Iâdgotteneveryonekilledandnow...nowIâdgottenmyselfkilled.
No.Iwasnâtdying.Iwasjust...sleepy.Icouldsleep.Renwouldfindme.Iwouldwakeupandheâdbehere.So,I
didsleep.IthinkIdid.Atleastforalittlewhile.Butthenaircaughtinmythroatandmyeyesflutteredopen.Thestarsshone
brightly. Iwasstillhere. Iwasalone.NoRen,noTink.Myhead lolled to theright.Thefaewasstillhere,though,andbythelooksofit,hewassuperdead.
Iwasalive.ReliefgavewaytoakeensenseofdisappointmentIdidnâtunderstand,but
couldnât focuson at themoment, because I needed toget up. If I didnât,whowouldwatchoutforTink?Renwould,butheâdblamehimself.
Icouldnâtletthathappen.Lurchingtomyfeet,IteeteredunsteadilyuntilIgotmyselfturnedaround.I
walkedbacktowardthedoors,exceptitfeltlikeIwaswadingthroughquicksandandIwasnâtmakingmuchprogressatall.No,itwasslowanduneven,andtheentireworldkeptblinkinginandout.Itrippedoverstones,grittingmyteethasIforcedoneleginfrontoftheother.IfIcouldjustgettothedoors,getinside,andgettoRen...
Roundingthecorner,Istumbledontothepathwayandreachedout,grippingthe vine-covered trellis. The soft glow of the lobby lights seeped over thepathway.Thedoorswere right there. I swalloweddown the tasteofbloodandkeptgoing,mystepsturningsluggish.
Ren.Ren.Ren.Ichantedhisname.Iwasalmostthere.Justalittlebitmoretogo.Myhandswerenumb. Iâd lost feeling in them,but thatwasokay,becausemyfeetwerestillworking.Justalittlebitfurther....
A shadow appeared in the double doors and it grew closer. The shadowbecameamoredistinctiveshapeandthentheshapebecameaperson.
âRen,âIcalledout,butitwasonlyawetwhisper.Itriedagain,butnowtherewasnosound.
He appeared as if heâd been summonedbymy chants, andmaybehe had,becausethedoorswereopeningandhewaswalkingoutside,hisgazesweepingoverthecourtyard.
Iknewthemomenthesawme.Hedrewupshort.âIvy?âAndIknewthemomentthelightfrominsidereachedme.Iopenedmymouth,butmytonguedidnâtwork.âIvy!âPanicfilledhisvoiceasRenbroke intoarun,his feetpoundingoff
thepavement.Something landed on my back, between my shoulder blades. Something
sharpandhotandittookwhateverairwasleftinmylungs.StolewhatstrengthIhadleft.
Iwentdown,butIdidnâtfeeltheimpact.ThefuryrolledoffReninwaves,fillingthecourtyardandovershadowingeverythingelse.Hewasablur,shootingpastme.
Mycheekwassuddenlyrestingagainstthecoolstone.Icouldnâtfeelmyfeetany longer. Thatwas probably bad, but I wasnât thinking about that anymoreanyway.Therewasasharpcry,andabodylandednexttomine,theheadtwistedatanunnaturalangle.Itwasherâthefemalefae.
Ihadnâtkilledher.Stupid,stupidme.Anotherridiculous,amateurisherror.âIvy. Come on, Ivy.â Gentle hands turnedme over, ontomy back. âJesus
Christ.âThetoneofhisvoicetoldmeIshouldbeworried,butIcouldnâtfinditinme
todredgeupthoseemotions.Ahandcradled thebackofmyhead. âSweetness, lookatme.Please.âHe
liftedme,andIwasweightless.Floating.âDammit,openyoureyesandlookatme.â
Iwasnâtlookingathim?Forcingmyeyesopen,IfoundmyselfstaringintoRenâsstrikingface.Those
vibranteyesweredarkinthemoonlight,wideandendless.Hewassoverypaleandtherewassomuchdarknesscrowdinghisfeatures.âIâm...â
âDonâttrytotalk,âhesaid,andhewasmovingfast,practicallyflying.âJusthanginthere,Ivy.Keepyoureyesopenandonme,okay?Staywithme.â
ButIhadto.Ihadtosayit.âIâm...sorry.â
Chapter6
Theworldflickeredinandout,likeafadinglightbulb.Itriedtokeeptrackofwhatwashappening.IknewRenwascarryingmeinside.Icouldfeelhishardshoulder against my cheek. I felt every step he took. Darkness gave way towarmthandbrightness.
âIneedadoctor!âRenwasshouting,hisvoiceedgedwithwildpanic.âJesusChrist,someone!Ineedadamndoctor!â
It was getting hard to keepmy eyes open, and I thought that maybe . . .maybeitwastoolateforadoctor.Theworldfadedoutagain.
Thenext thing IknewIwas lyingona soft surface thatdidnâthavemuchgive to it and the room was extraordinarily brightâtoo bright. It took me acoupleof seconds to realize Iwas in the infirmary,aplace in thebasementofHotelGoodFaethatIwassuresawlittleaction.
âRen.âHisnamebubbledupfrommylips.âIâmhere.âHecarefullytouchedmycheekwithhisfingertips,drawingmy
attention.âFuck,Ivy.âTherewereothervoices.AwomanâsIdidnâtrecognize.âYouâregoingtofeel
abigpinch,âshesaid,holdingmyrightarm.I didnât feel anything as I stared intoRenâs eyes,wonderingwhy his face
seemedfuzzy.ButthenTinkwassuddenlythere,standingbesideRen.âWhathappenedto
you?Ivy?âHiseyeswerewidewithhorrorashescannedme.âWhodid this?ThePrince?â
Someonegaspedintheroom.Thecoolhandonmyarmstilled.âNo,âRengrowled,andtheonewordechoedintheroomlikeagunshot.âIt
wasfaethatlivedhere.ââTwo,âImanagedtowhisper.âThatcannotbe.âThatwasTanner,butIcouldnâtseehim.âThosewholive
herewouldnotharmyouâharmanyofyou.âThe fact that I was bleeding out from multiple stab wounds proved
differently.The air in the room filled with static, and Renâs fingers left my cheek. I
couldnâtseehisfaceorhiseyesanymore.Hepulledback,andIdidnâtseehimmove,butIheardabodyhitawall.
âNo!âsomeoneshouted,andTinkwhirled.Therewasascream.
Whatthehellwashappening?Itwasastruggletoliftmyheadandclearmyvision,butImanagedjustintimetoseethatRenhadTannerpinnedtothewallwithahandaroundtheolderfaeâsthroat.
âYousaidweweresafehere.âRenâsvoicewastooflat,toocold.âWetrustedyou.â
âYou are safe here,â Tanner denied, his tone remaining calm even thoughRenwassecondsfromchokingthelifeoutofhim.âWewouldneverââ
âThatâsobviousbullshit.âRencuthimoff.Themusclesunderhisdarkshirtstrained as he lifted Tanner up. âLook at her.â A moment passed and Renshouted,âLookather!â
Tannermustâvelookedatme,butIcouldnâtseepastRenâsshoulder.âDoesshelooklikesheâssafe?âRendemanded.TinksteppedawayfromwhereIlay.âShedoesnât,âTannerreplied.âIunderstandyouâreupset.Iam,too.Iâmalso
shockedââHiswordswere cut offwhenRen slammed him back against thewall.
âTink,âFayecriedout fromthedoorway.Whendidshegethere?âYouâvegottogetRenawayfromTanner.Hehadnothingtodowithwhathappenedtoher!â
Tinkshookhishead.âIainâtstoppingshit,lady.HeâsjustluckyitâsRenwhohadhishandaroundhisneck.â
Thatwastrue.IâdseenwhatTinkwascapableof.I sucked in a sharp breathwhen Tink turned tome.He had never looked
more Otherworldly than he did in this moment. His features were sharp andbrutalâanimalistic.Butwhenhepickedupmyruinedhandbythewrist,hewasgentle.âThereâsaholeinyourhand.â
Tink.Eveninthedirestofmoments,hewasstillCaptainObvious.âRen,âTannerbegan,clearinghisthroat.âYouneedtounderstandâââWhat Ineed is foryou to shut the fuckupand listen,âRen snarled. âIâm
going tomake two things painfully clear. First off, youwill find outwho didthis,whowas involved and knew about this, andwhy. Then youwill tellmeexactly who those dead motherfuckers are. And the second thing you betterunderstandall thewaydown toyourbones is, if Ivydoesnâtcomeoutof this,laughingherlaugh,smilingupatmeassheâswalkingoutofthisdamnroom,Iwillburnthismotherfuckerdownwithallofyouinit.â
Damn.âRen,âgaspedFaye.âYouunderstand?âRenasked.âTellmeyouunderstand.ââIunderstand,âwasTannerâsquietresponse.
Myheadwasnowtooheavytokeepup.Iwasflatonmyback,staringupatadropceilingandultra-brightlights.
âI feel funny,â Iwhispered,orat least I thought I said itout loud.My lipsmoved, but I didnât hearmywords.Myheart trippedup inmy chest.Yeah, Ididnâtfeelright.
Ignoringthewaveofnauseafollowingtheburstofpain,Icalledout.âRen.âHewasthereinaninstant,bymyhead.Thetipsofhisfingerswereonmy
chin,slowlyturningmyfacetohis.Akernelofpanicblossomedinmygut.âI...Idonâtfeelright.ââWhatdoyoumean,Sweetness?âHisgazeflickedovertotheothersideof
thebed.âWhatdoesshemean?âMytonguefeltheavy.âIcanât...feelmylegs.âRencursedandstartedtopullaway.âDonât!âThepanicspreadasItriedtoliftmyhand.Ifheleft,Ididnâtthink
Iâdseehimagain.âDonâtleave...me.âHis hand brushed over my forehead. âIâm right here with you. Iâm not
leaving.Ever.Youknowthat,right?âHisvoicethickened.âNeverleavingyou.ââThereâsadamnholeinherhand,âTinkpointedoutagain.âThehandistheleastofmyworries,âthefemaleâsvoiceclippedback.There
was pressure onmy side. âI need you to help roll her. I have to look at thisback.â
Mymouthdried.Rollingmesoundedbad.âNo,âIgroaned.âIdonâtâââIâmsorry,Sweetness,butwehaveto.âRenleanedin.Thosebeautifulgreen
eyesofhismadeupmyentireworld.âWeâllmakeitquick.Ipromise.Butwehavetodothis.â
Iwasnâtgivenmuchofanoption.Rengingerlygrippedmyrightshoulderashecuppedmycheekwithhisotherhand.âHoldon,Sweetness.Justholdon.â
I didnât want to hold on. I knew this was going to hurtâhurt bad, and Ididnât think I could dealwith anymore pain. Iwas atmy limit, between theburninginmyupperbodyandthenumbnessinmylegs.
Handslandedonmyhip.Tink.ItwasTink.Mywildgazemethis.âIhaveto,âhesaidasifhewerepleading.âYoucanpunchmeinthethroatforitlater.Okay?â
Theyrolledmeontomyside.Someonescreamed,anditsoundedlikeawoundedanimalgettingrunover
byatank.IttookmeamomenttorealizeitwasmeâIwasmakingthehorrible,raggedsound,andthatwasaboutwhentheworldwantedtofadeawayagain,butRenwouldnâtletit.
âKeepthosebeautifuleyesopenforme,Ivy.Iknow.Iâmsorry,Sweetness.
Iâmsosorry.Iknowithurts,âhesaid,andhekepttalkingashandsandfingersmovedalongmyback,frommyshouldersall thewaydowntothebaseofmyspine. âItâs not toomuch longer. Okay? The doc is going to look at you andmakeyoubetter.â
Mybackandstomachwereonfire,burningthroughmychest.âWe...have...adoctor?â
âWedo.âHisgazeflickedovermyshoulderforthebriefestsecondandthenreturnedtomine.âSheâsalmostdone.Justafewmoreseconds.âHislipspressedagainstmyforehead.âYouhanginginthere,Sweetness?â
IthoughtIsaidyes.Iknowmylipsmoved,butIdidnâthearit.IdidnâtthinkRendideither,butthenIwasbeinglaidbackdownandsomeofthehellfirewaseasingoffâeverythingwaseasingoff.
Ifadedoutagain,maybeforseconds,andwhenIcameto,IthoughtIheardRensaying,âOutthere,shesaidshewassorry.Whywouldshesaythat?â
âIdonâtknow.âIthoughtthatwasTink.I felt Ren brushing the hair back from my cheek and then his face was
directly inmine.Helooked likehewasscreaming,buthesoundedsoveryfaraway,likehewasstandingattheendofatunnel.
âIâmhere,âIrasped.âIâmstillhere.ââYeah,youare,Sweetness.âHissmilewasweak.âYouârehere.ââItâsnotgood,âthefemalesaid,theonewhoIguessedwasadoctor.âNone
ofthisisgood.ââNoshit,Sherlock.Whatdoweneedtodo?âTinkdemanded.âIdonâtthinkyouâreunderstandingme,âshereplied.âThelacerationsinthe
backaredeepâtoodeep.Therearedefinitelyinternalinjuries,andthatâswhatIcanaccountforjustfromthestabwounds.â
âOkay.Thenfixher,âRenordered.ThefaewashookingsomethinguptoanIV.âIâmnotasurgeon.Ihaveno
experiencewiththesetypesofwoundsâââThenfindasurgeon,âRensnapped,hishandstillingalongthecrownofmy
head.âWe donât have surgeons here,â Faye answered quietly. âWe rarely have
injurieslikethese.Andwhenwedo,wedonâtuseadoctortoheal.Thefaewillfeedsotheycanhealthemselves.â
âIâll go get one.â Tink stepped back from the bed. âJust give me half anhour.â
Wait.Whatwashedoing?âYoucanâtjustgogetadoctor,âFayeargued.âIâmprettysurethatâscalled
kidnapping.â
âDoIlooklikeIcare?âTinkthrewback.âBesides,Iâllgetadoctorandthenyoucanglamourthem.â
âWedonâtbelieveindoingthat,âshestated.âWeâââAreyoukiddingme?âRencutin.âIdonâtcarewhatyoubelievein.Ifwe
needtogetasurgeon,thenweâregoingtogetafuckingsurgeon.ââThere isnât time,â the female fae said, and the entire room quieted. âWe
donâthavetimeforthat.ââWhat?âbreathedRen,hisgazefrantic.Refusingtoevenblink,IstaredatRenâsface,lettingmyonegoodeyeetch
thehardlineofhisjawandthecurveofhischeekboneintomymemories.Hewassobeautiful,insideandout,andsometimesIdidnâtthinkIdeserved
him and hisâhis goodness. Not when I wasted such precious time. This lastweekwecouldâvedonesomuch,filledupalifetimeworthofmemories.
âIcangiveherblood.Wehavesomeofthathere,butsheâsahalfling,âshecontinued.âIhavenoideawhatthatwilldotoherâifitwillhelporhurther.â
âGivehertheblood,âTinkdecided.âGiving her blood is only going to give us a little more time, but not
enough,â the female said. âHer blood pressure is droppingwith every second.Herheartrateistoohigh.Sheâslosttoomuchbloodandisstilllosingblood.Shewouldnâtbestableenoughforsurgery.Ifshedidnâthavefaebloodinher,youwouldnâtevenhaveachancetosaygoodbye.â
Renstaredacrossthebed,themusclealonghisjawflexing.âWhatareyousaying?â
Istoppedlisteningatthatpoint,becauseIthinkIalreadyknewwhatshewasgoingtotrytoexplaintoRen.Ididnâthearherwords,butIknewIwasright.Itwas in Renâs wide gaze when it swung to mine. I knew what she had saidbecauseof thedenial thatcrept intohis faceand in thewayhishandspasmedagainst my cool forehead. I didnât have to hear her, because I heard Tinkâssuddenshoutofobjection.
Iwasdying.Notinacoupleofdays.Notinafewhours.Iwasdyingrightnow.âNo.No.God,no.âRenâsvoicecamebacktomeashemovedin,hishand
splayingacrossmycheek.Hepressedhisforeheadagainstmine.Hisvoicewasaraggedwhisper.âThisisnothappening.â
Iwanted to touchhim.Towrapanarmaroundhim, to comforthim,but Iwastootiredandmyarmsweretooheavy.
âIâmnotgoing to letyoudie.Hellno.âRenkissedmybrow,andwhenhepulledback,hislipsweresmearedwithredâwithmyblood.Hisjawtightenedashelookedacrossthebed.âKeepheraliveuntilIgetbackwithadoctor.â
Adoctorwasnâtgoingtohelp.Voices erupted aroundme.Therewas pleading forRen to be realistic and
therewerethreats,mostofthemcomingfromRen.Tinkhadgrownquiet.Drawing in a shudderingbreath, I draggedmygaze fromRenâs, because I
couldnât deal with the pain crowding his face. I glanced around the room,snaggingonafigurestandingfarback,againstthewall,whereTannerhadstood.
Merle.Shewasstaringatus,herfacedevoidofemotion,andforsomereasonIhad
thehardesttimelookingaway,butthenIcouldnâtseeheranymore.Myeyelidsweretooheavy,butIheardTinksaysoftly,âThereisanotherway.â
Chapter7
Mylashes flutteredandsoft lightcrept through thedarkness. Iwasstill in theroomRenhadcarriedme into,but theoverhead lightshadbeen turneddown.Everythingwassofter.
âHey there, youâre back.â Ren touched my chin, tilting my head just theslightesttotheleft.Isawhimthenandmychestsplitwideopen.Hiseyesweredamp,thicklasheswetashesmoothedhisthumbundermylip.Washecrying?IdonâtthinkIâdeverseenhimcry.
Hissmiledidnâtreachhiseyes.âIwasgettingalittleworried.IthoughtââHisvoicecracked.âIthoughtIâdlostyou.â
I thoughthehad, too. Ididnât remember fadingout again.The last thing Irecalled was Tink saying something about there being another way and thentherewasjustnothingbut inky,consumingdarkness.Nodreams.Nothoughts.ButIhadthefeelingonlyminuteshadpassed.
In that short time, the room had all but emptied out.Only Tink and FayeremainedwithRen.Thetwostoodatthefootofthebed,andTinkwasgrippingFayeâsshoulder.Shelookedlikeshewassecondsfromboltingfromtheroom.
MygazeslowlymovedbacktoRen.Renâs faint smileweakened as his thumb trembled againstmy lip. âI need
youtohangintherejustalittlelonger,okay?Ineedyoutodothatforme.Canyou?â
Mymouthmovedaround thewordyes,but Iwasnât sure if theword tookflightornot.
Heshiftedincloser,hisbrightgreengazecapturingmine.âIloveyou,Ivy.Youknow that?Thereâsonlybeenyou.Therewill onlybeyou. I loveyou sofuckingmuchandthatâswhyIhavetodothis.âHisvoicebrokeagain,thickandhoarse.âIâmsorry,Sweetness.Forgiveme.â
What was he sorry for? Confusion swept through my foggy thoughts.Forgivehim?
Tink all but shoved Faye forward. The fae, normally graceful and nimble,stumbled. Stopping by my head, she shot a glare over her shoulder. âI donâtagreewiththis.Ifyouknewwhatheâddonetoherandhowitââ
âIknow,âbarkedRen,liftinghisgazefrommine.âIknow,butIâdratherherpissedoffandhatingmethandead.Doitnow.â
Confusion gave way to unease. What was happening? I tried to get my
tongue towork. Iwanted to knowwhatwas happening, but thenRen shifteddown,kissingmyforehead.Helingered,hislipshoveringjustabovemine.
Something...somethingdarkandsilkystirredinthepitofmystomach.âTink,âFayebegan.âYoudonâtwanttodothis.Wedonâtknowwhatitwill
dotoâââIfyoudonâtdothis,Icanpromiseyouitwillbeaveryunwiselifechoice.â
Tinkhadmovedcloser,speakinginahardvoiceIâdneverheardhimusebefore.âImeanit,Faye.Ilikeyou,butIlikeIvymore.Youletherdie,youâredoingsowiththelastmomentsofyourlife.So,donâtgetittwisted.â
âYou twomay regret this.â Faye then placed a hand onmyhead. âYouâregoingtoneedtorestrainherwhensheâsdone,âshesaidtoTink,andwhenshespokeagain, therewassomethingthickandseductiveabouthertone.âLookatme,Ivy.â
Icouldnâthelpbutobey.Myhead shifted andmynose brushed againstRenâs. Fayeâs stare snagged
mine.HerlipsmovedandthenIwasfalling,slipping,andIwasnâtresurfacing.Theonewordshespokeechoedoverandover.
Feed.Inthesmallpartofmybrainthatwasstillfunctioningnormally,Iknewwhat
hadhappened.Fayehadusedacompulsion.ItdidnâtmatterthatIknewthis.Itwaslikeresistingthelureofashotofmorphine.Nochancetofightit.Therewasaburstofpanicthatcamefromthefearoflosingcontrolbutitfizzledoutbeforeitfullyformed.
âIvy,âRenwhisperedinthespacebetweenourmouths,andthenhelightlykissedmytorn,bleedinglip,andI...Ididnâtkisshimbackeventhoughmylipstouchedhis.
No,IdidnâtkissRenatall.Abrutalhungereruptedfromdeepinsideme,agnawingatrocitythatblazed
afirethroughmyblood.Iinhaled.Thefirsttasteofhisessencewaslikesteppingoutintothewinterwindafter
a long, endless summer. A refreshing coolness slipped over my tongue andsplasheddownmythroat.
Yes.Iinhaledagain.Deeply.Relentlessly.Renjerkedandahandpuncheddownintothethinmattressbesidemyhead.
Thefingersaroundmyjawspasmed,butIwaslatchedonandhewasnâtpullingaway.Rentasted...
Hewaslikeajoltofcaffeinethatwokeupeverypartofmybeing.Hewas
likedivingheadfirstintoanicylake.Hetastedoflife.Therewasa flashofpainand thenwonderful, languidcoolnesswakingup
my senses. I liftedmy ruinedhand from the table, gripping thebackofRenâsneck,holdinghimtome.
He groaned into my mouth, the sound a mixture of pain and somethingwarmer,hotter.Somethingthattastedlikesummerandsun.Pleasure.
Ikepttakingfromhim,pullinghisessenceintomeuntilIhadnoideawhereIendedandhebegan.Iwassurroundedbyhisfreshscentthatalwaysremindedmeoftheoutdoors.Iwassurroundedbyhim.Electricitypouredintomyveins.Theaircrackled. . .ormaybeitwasmyskin.Yes, itwasmyskinsparkingtolife. Strength filledmyweakmuscles.Tissues knitted back together.Myoncestutteringheartnowbeatstronglyinmychest.
Renâshanddropped tomyshoulder.His fingersdug in, tearingatmyshirtand pressing into my skin. It didnât hurt. Oh God no, it felt wonderful.Everythingdid.Theever-presentthirstwasslaked,butI...
Iwantedmore.Power flowed throughme, thepurest kind.Mybodywas in full control. I
wasincontrolandnothingandnoonecouldchangethat.Likeacobrastriking,IflipRenunderme.HishandstillclenchedmyshoulderasIstraddledhiships.Thesweetestfireconsumedmybody.Mymouthwasfusedtohis,aswereourhips.AmoanrumbledthroughRen,shakingme,andIanswereditwithmyown.Adifferent kind of need roared to life.At once,my entire body felt tight andswollen.
Iwantedallofhiminme.Reachingbetweenus,Ifoundthebuttononhisjeans.Ittooknothingtoopen
them.Myhandflewtomyown.Renâsentirebodyjerkedunderme,butheheldon,hisfingersclenchingand
unclenchingonmyshoulder.âGether,âsomeoneorderedharshly.âGetherbeforeshekillshim.âKillhim? Ididnâtwant tokillhim. I justwantedhim,allofhim, inevery
way,becausehewasmine.Iwantedtofuckandtofeed,andIwantednothingbetweenusâ
Renâshandliftedfrommyshoulderandcurledaroundthebackofmyneck.Icouldfeelhisarmtremblingashismouthmovedagainstmine,weakatfirstbutstilldistractingme.RenkissedmeâkissedmeasIinhaled.Hishandtightened,tuggingatmyhair.Thetipofhistongueagainstminechangedeverything.
I stopped inhaling as a blast of desire scorchedmy skin.Kissing.Kissingwasjustasgoodasfeeding,soItouchedmytonguetohisashischestswelled.Sharpdesirepoundedthroughme.Iachedforhim.Throbbed.Myskin tingled
withlustasmyhipsrolledagainsthim,tremblingwhenIfelthim,hardandthickâ
âRen.âAnanimalisticsounderuptedfromdeepwithinme,reverberatingthroughout
theroom.Someonewasclose,tooclosetous.Ibrokecontact,liftingmyhead.âLeave,â Ren gasped out, holding my head to his with flagging strength.
âShewonâtkillme.ââAreyououtofyourmind?âIgrowledalowpurrofwarningasIturnedmyheadtotheside.Ididnâtcare
whowasgettingclose,butIwouldripthemtoshredsiftheytriedtogetbetweenus.
âIgother.âRenâslipsdraggedacrossmine,snaggingmyattention.Igrippedthefrontofhispants,tearingthezipper.âGoddammit,leavenow.â
Therewas a curse and then a voice I vaguely recognized. âItâs your deathwish.â
âGo,âRengroanedasIfoundwhatIwassearchingfor,wrappingmyhandsaroundtheheatedlength.
Someoneresponded,butitwaslostintheneedpoundingthroughmyveins.Iheardadoor slamshut and thenRenwaspullingatmybottomswith shakinghands.
âTake from me.â His voice was hoarse and rough, a whip against mysensitiveskin.âTakewhateveryouneedfromme.â
Things became a blur of trembling hands and slippery skin. Ren wasnâtholdingmeastight.Hishandhadfallentothebareskinofmyhipbuthewasburning through me, his hips rising as I ground down to meet him. The airsmelledofbloodandsex.Agreatandterribletensionwasbuildinginsideofmeas I devoured Ren, nipping at his lips, sucking and licking. Bursts of energyenteredmeasIliftedmyselfupandslammedmyselfdownonhim.
âKissme,Sweetness,âRengroaned,soundingragged.âKissme,Ivy.âI wasnât kissing him? No. Iâd been feeding again, lost in the dueling
sensationsasIchasedafteranotherhigh,anotherrelease.Renâshand spasmedonmyhip. âIvy.Please.âHe shudderedunderme. âI
loveyou.âIloveyou.Those three words cycled over and over, poking holes in the red haze
cloudingmythoughts.Iloveyou.Myheartsqueezed.Iloveyou.Wrenchingmymouthfromhis, Isatupandkickedmyheadback.The tension inmebecameunbearable. I cried out as a wildness took over. Under me, Ren shook andgroanedashepunchedhishipsuponelasttime,wringingagaspoutofme.His
releasesentmecareeningovertheedge.Themostintensesensationwashedoverme,likeeverynervewasfiringatonceallalongeverypartofmybody.Nothinghadeverfeltlikethat.IcollapsedagainstRenâschest,mybodytrembling.
Thelast thingIrememberbeforeslippingintothewaitingnothingnesswasRenâs hand running up the center ofmyback and himwhispering those threewordsoverandover.
âIloveyou.â
WhenIopenedmyeyesagain,IwasquicktorealizeIwasinthatroomandIwaslyingontopofawarm,hardbody.
Shiftingslightly, I liftedmyheadand lookeddown.Renâs facewas turnedtowardmine.His eyeswere closed and therewere dark shadows under them.Theylookedlikebruises,andtherewasagauntnesstohischeekbonesthathadneverbeentherebefore.
Mouth dry, I liftedmy hand and touched his cheek. Dry blood cakedmyfingers.âRen.â
Therewasmovementbehindhiseyelids,butthoselashesdidnâtlift.Mygazedroppedtohischest.Itrosewithshallow,unevenbreaths.Irolledontothelittlespaceonthetable.
I...Ididnâtfeelright.Swinging my legs off the table, I stood on weak legs. My hands were
clammyasIreacheddownandpulledmypantsup.Thebandwastorn,buttheystayedup.Renstillhadnâtmoved.
WhathadIdone?Inthebackofmymind,Iknew,butmyheadfeltlikeitwasfullofsmoke,
mymusclesmadeoutofsomethingweaker,andmybonesfeltbrittle.Andmyskin...myskinfeltnumb.âIdonâtfeelright,âIwhisperedtothequietroom.My gaze darted around and my breath got stuck in my throat when the
windowlesswallsseemedtoshrinkin,constricting.Pressureclampeddownonmylungs.Istumbledtowardthedoor.
ItswungopenbeforeIreachedit.Tinkstoodinthedoorway,hiswhite-blondhairlookinglikeheâdspenthoursrunninghishandsthroughit.
âIvy.âHelookedatRen.âHeâsstillalive.âA tremor started at the base ofmy spine.Of course,Renwas still alive. I
didnâtwanttokillhim.IwantedââAnd Iâm still traumatized by the fact you were about to become a live-
actionpornorightinfrontofme.âTinksteppedintotheroom.âIforgothowthathappensafterââ
âIdonâtfeelgood,âIwhisperedasmystomachcramped.Iplacedmyhandagainstit,drawinginashallowbreath.
âTobehonest,youdonâtlookgood.âI tried to step to the side, but my legs gave out. Tink moved quick as
lightning,catchingme.Somehowweendeduponthefloor,Tinkholdingontomychin.Hiseyeswerewidewithworry.
âIvy,whatâswrong?âheasked.Everythingwaswrong.Thenumbnessinmyskinspread,seepingintomybonesandorgans.âIcanât
...Icanâtfeelmyself.âHisbrowsknitted.âThatdoesnâtmakesense.ââIcanâtââThenumbnesssuddenly turnedonme. It startedasahumming
feeling,butthenitbegantoburn.âMyskinâithurts.âTinkstared,andIthoughtIsawunderstandingcreepingintohisface,butthe
burn intensified. I liftedmyhand, half expecting to see it on fire as a screamburstoutofme.
âShit,âTinkmuttered.âShit.Shit.âMyentirebodyjerkedagainsthisasthefirespreadallovermyskin,starting
fromthebaseofmyspineandrollingdownmylegs,thenupmytorsoandovermyarms.Screaming,mymusclesturnedrigidasmybackbowed.
âIvy.âAweak,roughvoicebrokethroughthehazeofpain.Wide eyed,mygaze swung to the right.Renwas slidingoff the table.He
took one step but fell to his knees, crawling the rest of the distance. Hisshadowedeyeswidenedwithsurprise.âIvyââ
PainIâdneverexperiencedorknewwaspossibleconsumedeverypartofmybody. I jerked away from Tink, but he caught me around the waist as Rengrabbedthesidesofmyface.Hislipsweremoving,butIcouldnâthearasinglethinghewassaying.Nothingmadesensebeyondthewaymybodywastearingitselfapartfromtheinside.
Ascreechingnoiseeruptedfromme,thekindthatwouldâvenormallyraisedthehairsallovermybody,becauseitsoundedsofae-like.ThestiffnesswentoutofmeandIcurledmylegsup,pantingassomeoftheburneasedoff.
Then,justasIthoughtitwasover,themostintensecravingexplodedinmygut.Itwasalmostasbadasthefire.MygazemovedfromTinktoRen.
Needfilledme.Baringmyteeth,I jerkedtowardhim,butTinkcaughtmeasRenfellback
onhisass.
âWhat ishappening toher?âPanic filledhisvoice.âI thoughtweâdhealedher?â
âWedid,âTinkgroaned,twistingasIrailedagainsthimâagainstRen.âNowsheâspayingtheconsequences.â
Hours blurred together, a twisted kaleidoscope of razor sharp need and all-consuming desireâlust for Ren and for what was inside him. Then the painwouldreturn,burningthroughthecravings,turningmeinsideout.
Theworldaroundmefadedinandout.TherewasTinkholdingmetohimasIfeltRenholdingsweat-soakedhairbackfrommyface.Hewaswhisperingtome,buttherewasnothingotherthanthecool,pleasantabysswhereIfloated.
Thenithappened.Withoutwarning,intensecoldwashedoverme.Sobrutallycold,myskinfelt
likeitwassetafire.Apricklingsensationhiteachinchofmybody,asifeverypartofmyskinwasbeingpiercedtothemarrow.Painenvelopedmeoncemore,becomingmyworld,butthistimeitwasanicyfire.
âWhatâs . . .whatâs happening?â I gasped, unable to see through the pain.Theroomâtheworldwaswhite.
âYou took too much.â Tinkâs voice was strained. âYou went too far. Iâmsorry,Ivy.Iâmsorry.â
Hiswordsmadenosense.Wordsingeneralwereofnousetomeastheicyfire heightened. Screams tore from my throat, a far different sound from thescreeching.
Ibecameawareofbeingmoved,and Ionlyknew thatTinkwasno longerholding me. I recognized Renâs scent. He held me throughout, wrappingtremblingarmsaroundmywaist,hisshakinglegshookedovermine.MybackbowedandIstretchedhisembraceuntilitalmostbroke.
Then . . . then itwas like a raging firebeingdousedwithwater.Thepainbarelyeasedinthebeginning,butslowly,aftertime,itdisappearedlikesmokeinthewind.Aftertheburn,Ifellintoafamiliardeepsleep.IwasnâtsurehowlongIwasout,butwakingupwasdifficult.Myeyelidsfelt like theyâdbeensewedtogether,anditwasastruggletoprythemopen.
Thefirst thingIsawwasthelowceiling.Infirmary.Iwasintheinfirmary.Why?IsearchedmymemoriesbuttheywerecloudyandIwastootiredtowadethroughthedarkandshadowypiecestofigureoutwhatthehellwasgoingon.
ButIknewIwasnâtalone.Ittookeffort,butImanagedtoturnmyheadtotheleft.
Tinksatbesidemybedinoneofthosemetalchairs.Hehadananklerestingon a knee. Curled in his lap was Dixon. The little kitten was doing what italwaysdid.Napping.Thatkittenhadthebestlifeever.
The last time IâdseenTink,hehadnâthadDixonwithhim.Andhehadnâtbeenalone.RenhadbeenwithhimâRenhadbeenholdingme.
âRen,âIcroakedout.Tinkâsgazeliftedtomine.Hedidnâtsayanythingashestaredatme,andthe
firstkernelsofuneasestirred.Itriedtospeakagain,butmymouthrivaledtheSaharaDesert.Iclearedmy
throat.âWhat...whatâsgoingon?âTink looked back at me, stare solemn. ââThe night is dark and full of
terror.ââIfrowned.âWhat?âHe lifted a shoulder. âIâve alwayswanted to say that to someone.All Iâm
missingismyLadyMelisandreredgownandhood.âIstaredathim.âYouknow,âhe said, leaningback in his chair, âthereâs another thing Iâve
wantedtosay.Likewhenpeoplehavebadnews?Mycarjustbrokedown,andIâllbelike,bam!âTheLannisterssendtheirregards,âorIjustgotfiredfrommyjobandbam!âTheNorthremembers.âThatprobablymakesmeashittybrownie,butIdonâtcare.â
HavingnoideawhyhewassostuckonGameofThrones referencesat themoment,I triedtositandrealizedright thenthatIcouldnâtmove.Confused,Ipeereddownatmybody.Therewasathinwhiteblankettuckedinatmywaist,butthatwasnâtwhatwaskeepingmeinplace.
Whitebands,somekindofcloth,circledmywristsandankles.Mystomachdropped.Iwastieddown.âT-Tink,why...amIââ
âTied up like youâre engaged in some freaking BDSM shit?â He leanedforward,mindfulofDixon.ââTheLannisterssendtheirregards.ââ
âTink!âPanicsparked.Hisgazeflickeredawayandthensettledonme.âYoudonâtremember?âIhadthesinkingsuspicionIdidnâtwanttoremember.âYouwereattacked,âhesupplied.Yes.Irememberthat.Walkingin thecourtyard,mindingmyownbusiness.
Twofaehadattackedme.âTheystabbedme,âIwhispered,filledwithangerandhorror.âTheyactuallystabbedme.â
âYeah,theydid.Putsomedecentsizedholesinyou,too.Youalsohadaholeinyourhand,andletmetellyou,thatwasgnarly.Icouldlookrightthroughitandseetheothersideoftheroom.â
Itriedtoseemyhand.âYouâre all healed up now.â Reaching over, he tappedmy left hand. âNo
gapinghole.Nofatalstabwounds.Youâregoodasnew.âHepaused.âBetter.ââHow . . . ?â I trailed off.Morememories surfaced. Iâd been dying. Like
legitbleedingoutwithinternalwoundsdying,butIhadnât.IsuddenlyrememberedRenleaningoverme.Heâdbeentellingmethathe
lovedmeandthattherehadonlybeenme,onlywouldbeme,andhe...Iâmsorry,Sweetness.Forgiveme.Forgivehim?Myheart started thundering inmychest.Piecesof thenight started to fall
together.âYouâve actually been asleep for like forever,â Tink continued. âWell, not
forever,butlikefourdays.âFourdays?Holyshit.âIwaskindofworriedthatyouweredeadandyouâdstartstinkingsoon.âImagesflashedofmeontopofRen,movingagainsthiminabloody,wild
joiningofourbodies.Hadwe...?âWhereisRen?âIdemanded,tryingtositup.âAndwhyamItiedup?ââWell,yousee,thatâskindofalongstoryfullofplottwistsandprobablya
plotholeortwo.ââTink!âHis gaze met mine, and I remembered him yelling at Ren, becauseâoh,
God,IâdbeenfeedingonRen.Iâdfedonhim.The unease unexploded into full-blown dread. âWhere isRen?â I shouted.
âWhereishe,Tink?âLittleDixonstirredinTinkâslap.Hefoldedhishandoverthekittenâshead.
âCalmdown.Dixonneedshisfifthnapoftheday.âMyeyesnarrowed.âIswear toGod,Tink, ifyoudonotanswerme, Iwill
straight-upmurderyou.ââSee, thatâs the problem, and why youâre tried up. Itâs just precautionary.
Nowthatyouâreawake,TannerwillbeuphereâââWhyisitprecautionary?âHedidnâtanswerforamoment.âYouâvechanged,Ivy.Wedidnâtthinkthat
wouldhappen.Wehadnowayofknowing.âMypulseskyrocketed.âWhatinthehelldoesthatmean,Tink?âThebrowniecringed.âWell,letâsjustsayyourskinkindofshimmersnow.âMymouthdroppedopen.âLikeafae,âheadded.
Chapter8
IttookseveralmomentsformetoprocesswhatTinkwassayingbecausetherewasnowayIhadheardhimcorrectly.âMyskinisshimmering?â
âYes. Like a fae,â he repeated. âYouâre not full on silver or anything likethat, it just looks likeyouâveused the samekindof lotion I imagine strippersuse.â
IstaredathimandthenmygazedartedtowhatIcouldseeofmyskin.Iwaswearing longsleevesâashirt thatwasnâtmine,but Iwasnâtgoing tofocusonthat fuckery at this momentâand with my damn wrists secured, all I couldglimpse was the top of my hand. The skin looked normal. I squinted as Imanagedtoliftmyhandaninch.Thelightcaughtâ
âHolyfuck!âIgasped,eyeswidening.Myskindidshimmer likeIâd lubedmyselfupwithglitterylotion.âHolyshit,myskinisââ
âKind of shimmery, yes, but hey, it could be worse. You could look likeEdwardinthesunlight,allglitteryandshit.â
Mygazeshottohim.âItâsbarelynoticeable.Soisthethingwiththeears.ââMyears?âIshrieked.âYeah.âHedrewthewordout.âTheyârealittlepointynow.Likemine.âHe
tiledhisheadtotheside,showingoffhisears.âNothinganyonewouldreallybataneyeat.Plus,youhaveallthathairtocoverthemifyouârefeelinginsecure.â
OhmyGod,Icouldnâtevenprocesswhathewassaying.Ilikedmynormal,roundedhumanearsandhewasnowtellingmeIhadpointy,fae-likeears?
Andmyskinwasshimmering?Tink snapped his fingers, gettingmy attention. âLook, there ismore good
news. Since youâve been out for a couple of days, youâve slept off theworsteffects.â
Itookadeep,evenbreathbutitdidnothingtostampoutthebuildingpanic.âWhataretheworsteffectsthatsomehowdonâtincludemyskinshimmeringormyearsbecomingpointy?â
Dixon took thatmoment to stretch his little legs out in front of him.Tinkreacheddown,scratchinghimbehindtheear.âWell,whileyouwereasleep,youwerenâtalwaysasleep.Sometimesyouwereawake.â
Vaguememoriessurfaced,flashesofrageanddesire,oftheneedtoâIsuckedinasharpbreath,squeezingmyeyestight.
âTherewere timeswhenyouwerehungry, likezombiecravingbrainskindofhungry,âTinksaidsoftly.âThatâswhyyouâretieddown.Fayeseemstothinktheworsthaspassed.Sortoflikeyouâvedonethedetoxpartandnowyouârejusthavingtodealwithafewcravings.â
Iremembered.Knots formed in my stomach. I remembered Faye whispering her
compulsion.Feed.ThatonewordhadechoedoverandoverandIhadfed.Myeyesflewopen.âIsRenokay?ââWell,youknowâââIsRenokay?âIdemanded,breathingheavy.Tink lifted his hand fromDixonâs head. âRen is fine.Heâs alive.Heâd be
here, butTanner andFayewereworried that you being around a human rightnowwouldnât helpwith the getting over thewholewanting to suck themdrything.â
Relief crashed through me, but a raw emotion built behind it when whathappenedtrulyprocessed.âYou...youallmademefeedonRen.â
âWedidnâthaveachoice,Ivy.Youweredyingandtherewasnothingelsewecouldââ
âYoushouldâveletmedie!âIshouted,andDixonjerkedinTinkâslap.Itriedtocalmdown,butmyheartwaslodgedsomewhereinmythroat.
Hisbrowsfurrowed.âThatâsafuckedupthingtosay,Ivy.ââItâsfuckedupthatyoumademefeedonRen!ââHewasdownforit,Ivy.Renwoulddoanythingtosaveyou.ââEvenforcemetodosomethingsohorrible?âIasked,eyesblurring.âRen
volunteeringforthisdoesnâtmakeitright.Hecouldâvebeenkilled.âHisexpressionsmoothedout.âButheâsokayandyouâregoingtobeokay.ââExceptapparentlymyskinandearshavechanged.Iâmnotokay.âAndthat
wasnâtall.IâdfedonRenandthenwehadsexâbloody,crazysex.âWell,thereisthat.Wedidnâtknowthatwouldhappen,butâââThePrincedidthattome.HemademeââMyvoicecaught.Angerburned
throughmyboneandtissue.âWhathaveyoualldonetome?ââWesavedyouâââWhathaveyoudonetome?âIscreamed.Hiseyeswidened.âWedonât...wedonâtknow,Ivy.âIcouldnâtbelieveit.Dyingsucked.Yeah.Duh.But theyforcedmetofeed
againstmywillâfeedonRen,anditchangedmeintoGodknowswhat?Nauseacreptupmythroat.HowwouldIeverlookatRenagain?
Howwould I ever look at myself again? Dealing with being the Halflingwasnât something Iâd fully accepted and now this? I couldnât. I couldnât deal
withthis.âItâllbeokay.ââGetawayfromme,âIwhispered.âIvy,âhegasped.Violentrageandbitterfearswirledlikeastorminsideme,feedingstrengthI
didnâtrealizeIhad.Iliftedmyleftarm,tearingthebindinginhalf.âWhoa.âTinkshotup,holdingDixonclosetohischestashesteppedback
fromthebed.âIvy...âSnappingtheclotharoundmyotherwrist,IsatupandturnedtoTink.âYou
needtogetthefuckoutofmyfacerightnow.âTinkwasstillforonlyamoment,andthenhegotoutofmyfaceandleftthe
room.
Icouldnâtsitorlayinthisbed.Mythoughtswereracingalongwithmyheart.Whatdidtheydotome?Handsshaking,Ibroketherestraintsaroundmyanklesandswungmylegs
offthebed.Istoodonbarefeet,surprisedtofindthatIwasnâtdizzy.Raisingmylefthand, I firstnoticed the red, angry scaron top.The samescarwasonmypalm.Squeezingmyhandclosed,Icouldeasilyrememberthestabbingpainofthebranchshootingthroughmyhand.
Nowitbarelyevenhurt.TherewasnoignoringtheglimmerwhenItwistedmyhandandcaughtthe
softglowoflight.Myheartdropped.Athousandquestionserupted,butIalreadyknewwhattheanswersweregoingtobe.
HadIfedtoomuchandithadchangedme?Who knew that was possible? No one. Ormaybe everyone, and they just
failedtotellme.Ariotofemotionscreptup,sealingoffmythroat.Isqueezedmyeyesshut.I
couldnâtbelievethis.Ontopofeverythingelse,Iwasnow...IdidnâtknowwhatIwas.Drawinginashudderingbreath,Iopenedmyeyes.Mygazeflickedoverthe
room.Thewallswerebare,buttherewasabathroomtomyright.Ihurriedovertoit,flippingthelighton.
Istoppedinfrontoftheovalmirrorabovetheporcelainbasin,ignoringthemessoftangled,redcurls.
âOhGod,âIwhispered.The lightwasbrighter inhere,andas I tiltedmychinup, thesheen tomy
skinintensified.MyfacelookedlikeIâdtakenoneofthosehigh-endhighlightersandsmeareditallovermyface.
WhichwaswhatInormallylookedlikewhenItriedtocontour.Tinkwasrightthough.Itwasnâtthatnoticeable,nottoastrangeroranormal
humanwhohadnoideafaewereaveryrealthing,buttome?Inoticed.Butthatwasnâtall.Myfeatureswere...sharper.Morerefined.Again,not
entirelynoticeablebutmyfacewasdifferent.Clutchingthebasin,Ileanedinandstaredatmyreflection.Therewereonly
faintbruiseswhereIâdtakenpunchesIshouldâvebeenabletodeflect.Therewasatinyredmarkonmylowerlip.Abarely-therepurplishbruisealongmyjaw.
It was almost like weeks had passed since the fight where I got my asshandedtome.AfightIshouldâvebeenabletohandlewithonearmtiedbehindmyback,butIhadtobehonestwithmyself.
My head hadnât been in the right placeâit stillwasnât, and I hadnât beeneatingorsleepingright.Iâdbeenweak,andlookatwhatitgotme?
Twostabwoundsandmore.Weremyeyespaler?Theyâdalwaysbeenalightblue,buttheywerealmost.
..iridescentnow,thepalebluesostarkagainsttheblacknessofmypupils.Liftingonetremblinghand,IpushedmyhairbackasIturnedmyheadtothe
side.Igasped.The tips ofmy earswere definitely pointy.Nothing extreme, and again, a
normalpersonprobablywouldnâtnoticeit,butthesewerenotears.Thiswasnotmyskin.Droppingmyhair,Ifacedthemirrorandbaredmyteeth.Normal.Asighof
reliefshudderedthroughme.Atleasttheydidnâtlookoddlysharplikemostfae,sotherewasthatIguessed.
Thedoortotheroomopened,andIwhippedaround.WhatifitwasRen?Mystomachtiedup.Iwasnâtreadytoseehim.IdidnâtknowifIâdeverbereadytoseehim,butIâ
âIvy?âFayeâsvoicerangout.DefinitelynotRen.Awaveofdisappointmentwashedoverme.Ididnâtwant
toseehimandyettherewasapartofmesomewheredeepinsidethatwantedittobehim.ThesamepartofmethathadwantedittobeRensittingthere,waitingformetowakeup.
Thingshadbeenweirdbetweenusbefore.Now,itwouldbehellaawkward...iftherewasanythingleft.
Sighing, I steppedoutof thebathroom.Fayewas alone, staringat thebed
andprobablyatthebrokenrestraints.Theangerresurfaced.âYouusedacompulsiononme.âFayeliftedherchin.âIhadnâtwantedto.Trustme.Iknowwhatwasdoneto
youwhileyouwerewiththePrince.Itoldthemthat.Theydidnâtwanttoletyoudie.â
I rememberedher reluctanceandTinkâs threat. âMaybe lettingmediewastherightthing.â
âIvy,youcanâtfeelthatway.Truly.ââYoudonâtknowhowIfeel,âIshotback.âYouhavenofreakingclue.âShewasquiet for amoment. âYouâre right.Allowingyou todiewouldâve
beeneasier.ItwouldâvedefinitelysolvedtheproblemwiththePrince.Atleast,temporarily.â
Mylipcurled.âIthoughtyousaidallhumanlifeisvaluable.ââItis.âShewalkedovertothechairandsatdown.âButwhatImadeyoudo
wasnâtnatural.Whatyouâvebecomeisnâtnatural.âIsuckedinasharpbreath.âWell, thatmakesmefeelsomuchbetterabout
everything.ââIâmnottryingtomakeyoufeelworse.ââThenyoushouldtryharder,âIsnapped.Hershoulderstensed.âIknowyouâreupset.Igetit.Isympathizewithit,but
whatâsdoneisdone.Youârealive.ââAtwhatcost?âIasked,steppingtowardher.âYoudonâtevenknowwhatI
am.âHergazeflickeredoverme.âIâmguessingthefeedingswhileyouwerewith
thePrinceandthislastonetriggeredthepartofyouthatâsfae,makingitmoredominant.Thatmustbewhyyouhavemore fae-likecharacteristics.Whateverfae genes you have in you now are simply stronger. I donât know what thatmakesyou,butyouârenotcompletelyfae.YouârestillIvy.â
Seeingmy skin shimmer and having pointy ears didnâtmakeme feel likeIvy.âAndthisissomethingyouknewwouldhappen?â
âIâvenever seen it,but Iknew itcould. Iwasnât thinkingabout thatat themoment.Iwassavingyou,likeRenandTinkdemanded.âShepaused.âHowareyoufeeling?Hungry?â
Iignoredthequestion.âWhereisRen?âHerlasheslowered.âHeâscurrentlyinterrogatingeveryfaeinthisbuildingto
seeiftheyhadanythingtodowiththeattack.Heâsnotherewithyoubecausewewantedtomakesureitwassafeforhim.Somethingthattookanabsurdamountoftimetoconvincehimof.â
Turningaway,Ithrustahandthroughmygreasy,nastyhair.âHe...â
âHeâsokay,âshesaid,alotquieter.âAnditdoesnâtappearlikeyouâllattackhim,soheâllbeheretheminuteItellhimitâsokay.â
Iclosedmyeyes,suckinginadeepbreathandholdingit.Fayewasquietforamoment.âIknowyouâremadathimâatallofus,but
hediditbecausehelovesyou.âButwouldhestilllovemeoncehesawme?OnceherealizedIwasturning
more and more into a fae? Once he really thought about what heâd done,allowingmetofeedoffhimlikethebitchBreenahad?
âIvy?âExhaling, I opened my eyes. A knot of fear crept up my throat. âIâve
changed.Thatâsobvious.Butyoualldonâtknowhowmuch.LikeamIgoingtoneedtofeednow?â
âNofaeneedstofeedtosurvive,Ivy.Itâsachoice.Youshouldliveanormallifespan, but youmaybe stronger thanbefore.Theremaybeother things thathavechanged.Thethingis,wereallydonâthaveaprecedentforthis.Itâsnotliketherehaseverbeenahugepopulationofhalflingsinthefirstplace.Ionlyknowof one or two whoâd fed on humans and those halflings had been in theOtherworld.Weonlyhaverecordsoftheirexistence.Theychanged,likeyou.â
I turned, facing her as one thing she said took center stage. âWhat otherthings?â
Fayeglanced at the emptybed and thenherpalegazemetmine. âDoyourememberwhenItalkedtoyouaboutbeing...addicted?â
Everythinginmestilled.Iâdplannedontalkingtoheraboutthat,butwell,Ikindofgotstabbedtodeath.âYes.Iremember.â
âIhopeyousleptoff theworstof itâthecraving thatcomesafter feeding,butitâlllingerforawhile.Youâllhavethisneed.â
Itotallyunderstoodwhatshewassaying,butacidpouredintomystomachnonetheless.ThatneedhadbeentherebeforeIâdfedoffRen.
âYouâllhavetobecareful,âsheadvised.âWhenyouârewithRen.âShedidnâtneedtoelaboratewithwhereshewasgoingwiththat.Foldingmy
armsovermywaist,Ipacedinasmallcircle.âYoutalklikeglimmeringskinandpointyearsarenâtabigdeal.â
âTome,theyarenât.âIshotheradarklook.âWell,noshit.ââYoucanbarelynotice,âsheadded.âThingsmayseemoverwhelmingnow,
butitcouldâvebeenworse.âForamoment,Iwasdumbfounded.âYeah,Icouldbedead,andmaybethat
wasmeanttohappen.âShocksplashedacrossFayeâsface.âYoudonâtmeanthat.â
DidI?Iwasnâtsosure.ItâsnotlikeIhadadeathwish,butI...Ijustdidnâtfeel likeme anymore and I had no control. Not over my life, my fate, mypurpose,orevenmybody.
AndIrememberedthatmomentofdisappointmentwhenIcametooutinthecourtyardandrealizedIhadnâtdied.
Theknotsinmystomachexpanded.Ipickedupmypace.âIalmostdiedinafightIshouldâvewon.Iwasforcedtofeedonmyboyfriend.âMyvoiceroseanotchasI thoughtaboutwhatIâddone tohimafterward,whatwedid.âAndIwokeupdayslatertofindoutthatmyactualbodyhaschanged.Nottomention,thefactthatIwasheldagainstmywillbyapsychoticfaeprince.DonâtactlikewhathashappenedtomeisjustanormalTuesday.MyentireworldchangedthemomentIfoundoutIwasahalfling.AlmosteverythingIknewupuntilthatpartwasafuckinglie,butwhenIlookedinthemirror,Istilllookedlikeme.IwasstillIvy.WhenIlookinthemirrornow,Idonâtrecognizemyself,andthatisnâtjustbecauseofthephysicalstuff.â
Sympathycrept intoher face,and thatwaspossibly theworst thing tosee.Takingadeepbreath,Ilookedawayandrefocused.âHowlongdoyouthinkthiswholewantingtosuckpeopledrythingwilllast?â
Fayewasquietforamoment.âIdonâtknow.Maybeafewdays.Acoupleofweeks.â
Weeks? Muscles in my shoulders tightened. I couldnât deal with weeks.âHaveyouneverfed?â
âNever.âStopping,Ilookedovermyshoulderather.âAndDrakenevernoticedthat?
Hedidnâtthinkitwassuspicious?âShetwistedtowardme.âDrakeneverreallypaidattentiontome.Breenaand
Valorusuallykepthimoccupiedwhenhewasnâttryingtoconvinceyoutocometothedarkside.â
Ifrowned,thinkingsomethingaboutthatdidnâtsoundright.âI knowyouâvebeen througha lot, Ivy, and finding theCrystal is the last
thingonyourmind,but Iwanted to tellyou thatweareexpecting the faewewerewaiting for to arrive tomorrow. Therewas a delay in them getting here.Theyâve had to be careful to not arise the suspicion of the Prince.â She rose,smoothingherhandsonherdenimjeans.âIhopeyoucanjoinus.â
Inotherwords,shemeantshehopedIpulledmyshittogetherlongenoughtobethere.Inoddedabsently,mythoughtsstuckonwhatFayehadjustsaid.
How in theworlddid thePrincenever realize shehadnât fed aroundhim?WouldnâtsomeoneonTeamDarkPrincethinkthatwassuspicious?
Because I sure as hell thought the fact they hadnât noticed was crazy
suspicious.
Chapter9
IguessedFayedeemedmenota risk,soIwasallowed to leave the infirmary.Shewalkedwithme though thehotel,andI figured itwasnâtbecauseshewasworriedIwasgoingtostartattackingfae.FayewaswithmebecauseIgotmyasshandedtome.ShewaslikethebodyguardIdidnâtwantandshouldnâtneed.
Luckily,sheleftmeattheelevator,butmystepsslowedasIwalkedtowardthe room Iâd been sharing with Ren. My heart was tripping over itself as Istoppedinfrontof thedoor.Washe inside?TrepidationfilledmeasI reachedforthehandle.
God,when did I become such a chicken shit? It was ridiculous. Taking adeepbreath,Ithrewopenthedoorandsteppedinsidethecoolroom.
Thebedwasmadeperfectly,butemptyandquiet.ItlookedthewayIâdleftit,plainandneat.
Imissedmyapartment.Imissedme.Exhaling roughly, I headed to thebathroom.Daysâworthofgrossnesshad
builtuponmyskinandhair,andIhadtobelievethatonceIshowered,thingswould be clearer, theyâdmakemore sense, andmaybeâjustmaybeâIwouldfeellikeme,despiteeverything.
IkeptmymindpurposelyblankasIstrippedoff theclothing,avoidingthemirrorasIwalkedpastittotheshower.
ThelastthingIwantedtoknowwasifmyboobsalsoshimmered.I scrubbedandscrubbed like I could somehowruboff the stupidglimmer.
BythetimeIwasdone,myskinfeltpristineandactuallykindofhurt.Iâdjustfinished slipping on a pair of leggings and a shirtTink had gottenme formybirthday last yearâzombie troll dolls, because of courseâwhen the dooropened.Iwhippedaround,theairlodgingfirmlyinmythroatwhenIsawitwasRen.
Hecametoacompletestop,hiseyeswideningslightlyashisgazeroamedover me from head to toe, notably getting more hung up on the shirt thananythingelse,butstilltheshockwasthere.AndIdidnâtknowifitwasbecausehe wasnât expecting me to be in the room or it was due to my new glitteryappearance.
Buthe . . .he lookedgood.Healthyandbeautiful in thatwildwayofhis.Looking at him now, I could almost imagine that I hadnât fed on him.That I
hadnât seen him with those wretched shadows under his eyes or his sunkencheekbones.
IrememberedwhatIâddonetohim,though.Thatmemoryfueledthewordsthatpartedmylips.âLike thenewlook?âMyvoicedrippedwithacid.âI looklikeavampire fromTwilight.âTurningmyhead, Iyankedback thewetcurls.âAnd look! Donât need a costume for Halloween now that I got these superawesomepointyears.â
Hisheadtiltedtothesideashestaredatme.âYoulookbeautifulasalways.âAharshlaughburstoutofme.âSeriously?ââSeriously,âhesaid.âBeautifulandhot.Theshirtisalittleweirdthough.ââAgiftfromTink,âIexplained,wonderingifRenwasforreal.Howcould
hethinkIwasbeautifulwhenItrulylookedlikeIhadfaebloodinmenow?âFigured.âAwrygrintuggedathisfullmouth.âGod,youhavenoideahow
Ifeelseeingyoustandinginfrontofme.Alive.Talking.Sexyeveninashirtthatshouldnâthaveeverbeenmade.â
Istaredathim.âMyskinisshimmeringandmyearsarepointynow.ââI didnât even notice.All Iwas paying attention towas the fact youwere
standingandbreathing.âHisgaze flickeredovermeagain. âButnow thatyoumentionit,Iâmkindofdiggingit.â
Mymouthdroppedopen.âHowintheworldcouldyoubediggingthatIlookmorelikethecreatureswewereborntohuntandkill?Thatdoesnâtmakesense.â
Ren looked taken aback. âYou donât get it. Your skin could be green andyourearsthesizeofUFOsandIâdstillthinkyouâreabsolutelystunning.â
Atthatpoint,IstartedwonderingifRenwashigh.âIâm about to sound cheesy as fuck and Iâm kind of surprised that I even
havetosaythis,butitâsnotjustabouthowyoulook.Donâtgetmewrong,thatâsawaynicebonus,butitâsyou,Ivy.Whatâsontheinside,Sweetness.â
Whoa.Thatwasnâtcheesyatall.Itwas...itwasactuallyabeautifulthingtosay
andsomethingIsodesperatelyneededtohearandwantedtobelieve.SilencestretchedoutbetweenusandthenRenmoved.Kickingthedoorshut
behindhim,hestartedtowardme,intenttensingthelinesofhismouth.Renwassuchashowerandnotateller.HewasgoingtoprovethathestillthoughtIwasbeautiful.Hewasgoingtotakemeinhisarms.Hewouldkissme,andIdidnâtknowwhatIwoulddo,whatIwascapableof.
Ilockedup.âDonât.âRenimmediatelystopped,hisbrowspinchingtogether.âImean,Idonâtknowifyoushouldcomenearmerightnow.âThenextpart
killedmetoadmit.âI...IdonâtknowwhatIâlldo.â
Understandingflared.âItrustyou.ââYoushouldnât.âIlookedaway.âYoushouldnâthavetrustedmebefore.ââIdid,andyoudidnâthurtme.ââDidnât hurt you?â I gasped. âI fed on you. I saw what you looked like
afterwardsâââIwasfineâIamfine.Iwasjusttired.Thatwasall.ââButthatwasnâtallIdid.âMycheeksburnedasthememoryofrippingopen
hispantsresurfaced.âWhat came after you fed?â His voice deepened. âI didnât have a single
problemwithit.ThatwasâââItwasmessedup,âIsaid,shakingmyhead.âIwasoutofmymind.Ifedon
youandIâââI toldyou to takefrommewhatyouneededandImeant that. Igaveyou
whatyouneeded,nomatterwhatthatwas.ââYoudidnâtthinkitwaswrong?âMyvoicedroppedtoawhisper.âI think howwe got to thatmomentwaswrong, butwhatwe did on that
tablewasnât.Itneverisbetweenus.âAsIwatchedhim,Iknewthathebelievedthat,butIstillfeltlikeIâddone
somethingwrong.Ifoldedmyarmsovermywaist,lookingaway.Hewasquietforamoment.âIranintoFaye.Shetoldmeyouâdwokenup
and were fine. That you went up to our room. I came as soon as I heard.Wouldâvebeenthere.Iwantedtobethere,butââ
âI know.Theywanted tomake sure Iwasnât going to suck the life out ofyou.âMylipstwistedintoagrossreflectionofasmile.
âIneveroncebelievedyouâddothat.âHisgazewassteadyashereachedtohisside.ThatwaswhenIrealizedhewascarryingthethornstake.Heunhookedit, laying it on the small table by the door. I guessed the whole not carryingweaponsthingwasnowoffthetable.âNotonce,Ivy.â
âReally?â I lookedathimagainandwelcomed thesame razor-sharpangerIâd felt towardTink despite howgood their intentionswere.Being angrywassure as hell a lot easier than the roaring confusion and nearly overwhelminganxiety.
âYoucouldâvedone it,butyoudidnât.Youstopped.âRenstepped forwardbeforestoppingagain.âIknowthatyouwillalwaysstop.â
Hemayhavebelievedthat,butIdidnât.âYouâreanidiotifyoubelievethat.Youshouldâveneveragreedtomefeedingoffyou.Itwastoodangerousââ
âIwouldriskitagain.âAnotherstepforward.âAhundredpercent,Iwouldriskallofitagaintosaveyou.â
Disbeliefthunderedthroughme,asdidfury.âYouknowwhatcanhappento
humanswhentheyâvebeenfedon.Weâvehadtoputthemdown.Youhave!ââLikeIsaid,Iwouldriskitalloveragain.âHeheldmygaze.âThatwasmy
choice.ââItwas never your choice,Ren! Itwasmine, and itwas taken away from
me.ââWhatchoicedidyouhave?âHestopped,nostrilsflaring.âYouweredying,
Ivy.Therewasno time togeta surgeonor takeyou to thehospital.Youwerebleedingoutrightinfrontofme.Therewasnochoice,becauseallowingyoutodiewasneveranoption.â
âIfyouâddonethatatleastthenIwouldnâthavebeenforcedtofeedonyoujust like the Princemademe do!â Themoment thosewords came out ofmymouth,IwishedIhadnâtsaidthem.
Renâsfacepaled.âYouâdratherbedead,Ivy?âIsuckedinabreath.âIâmnotsayingthat.ââThenwhat are you saying exactly, and Sweetness, I need you to be real
detailed,becauseIâmthinkingtheworst.âIturnedaway,thrustingmyhandsthroughmyhair.Iwasnâtstupid.IfTink
andRenhadnâtforcedFayetodothecompulsion,Iwouldbedead.AndIdidnâtwanttobedead.
ButIdidnâtwanttobethis.God,Ijustdidnâtwantanyofthis.âIvy.âHeâdspokenmynamesosoftlythatIreactedtohimwithoutthought.Ifaced
him,loweringmyhands.âWhenIfoundyououtside,IthoughtIwastoolate.WhenIcarriedyouinto
thatdamnroom,Iwascoveredinyourblood.Drenchedinit.âAshespoke,hisgazeneverleftmine.âAndwhenthatfaedoctorsaidthatyouweredying,itfeltlikeapieceofmediedrightthenandthere.â
Iopenedmymouth.âLetmegetthisoutandyoucanyellatmeandbepissedallyouwant,âhe
insisted, and I snappedmymouth shut. âIhaveneverbeenmoreafraid than Iwasrightthenandthere.IwasgoingtoloseyoubeforeIevengottohaveyou.AndwhenTinksaidtheremaybeanotherway,itwastheonlychoiceIhadandImadethatchoiceknowingyoucouldhatemeforit.Imadethatchoiceknowingthatitcouldhurtme.Imadethatchoiceknowingthatyoumayneverforgivemeforit.â
Renâsvoice thickened.âIâdratherhaveyoupissedoffatmefor therestofyourverylonglifethantoallowtheworldâsbrightestfuckingstartogoout.Youcanhateme todayand tomorrow,butat leastyouâllhavea tomorrow,and Iâll
makedamnsureyouhaveawholebunchofthemtobeangrywithme.âOhGod.Ididnâtknowhowtorespondtothat.Emotioncrawledupmythroat.Tears
filledmyeyes.Isteppedbackandthentotheside.Sittingdownontheedgeofthebed,Ileanedforward,droppingmyarmsintomylap.
Rendidnâtmakeasound,butIfelthimmovecloser.Hedroppeddowntohiskneesinfrontofme,surprisingme.Lookingup,heplacedhishandsoneithersideofmyhips,closebutnottouchingme.âIâmsorrythatItookpartinmakingyoufeed.Ihateddoingthat,knowingwhatyouâdbeenthrough.Ihatedthefactthat I wasnât with you when you were attacked. Fuck,â he bit out. âI wish Ihadnât walked away from you the night you told me you were a halfling. Icouldâvestoppedallofthis.â
Istiffened.âRenâââYeah,youâregoingtosaythatwasnâtmyfault,butifIhadnâtactedlikea
dick and gotten myself captured, the Prince wouldâve never been able tomasqueradeasme.Noneofthisbadshitwouldâvehappened.â
Thatwasnâttrue.EvenifRenhadfullyacceptedwhatIwasthemomentIâdtoldhim,Drakewouldâvefoundanotherway.
Hewascreepyandpsychoticlikethat.âAnd I have to live with that for the rest ofmy life,â Ren added, slowly
liftinghishands.Hefoundmine, threadinghisfingers throughthem.âAndIâllhavetolivewiththechoiceImadeandthechoiceItookfromyou.Iammorethanwillingtodothat,butIdonotregretonesecondmakingthatchoicetosaveyou,evenifitmeansthatyouhateme.â
Deepdown,Iknewthetruthandhowmessedupitwas.Iftheshoeswereondifferent feet, andRenwasahalflinganddying, Iwouldâvedone the same tosavehim.
Iwouldâvetakenhischoicefromhim.Iwouldâvetakenhiswillaway.Iwouldâvesavedhimevenifitcostmehislove.My chest squeezed and I whispered the truest thing I could say in that
moment.âIdonâthateyou.âRenâs grip tightened on my hands as he bowed his head. His curls fell
forwardandwhenhespoke,hisvoicewasrough.âIcanâtloseyou.ââYouhavenât.âHebroughtmyhandstohismouth,kissingthe topofbothof them.âThen
whydoesitfeellikeIalreadyhave?âStartled,Ipulledonmyhands,butheheldon.âWhydoyouthinkthat?âHelookedupatme,hiseyesthecolorofdewygrass.âDoyoureallyhaveto
askthat,Sweetness?âIstartedtosayyes,buttheworddiedonmytongue.Mythoughtsracedto
findawaytodenywhyheâdfeelthatway,butIcameupempty.Notbecausehewasright.Notinthewayhethought.
Becauseitwasnâthimlosingme.Itwasmelosingmyself.
Chapter10
RenandIdidnâttalkmuchafterthat,butheconvincedmetogodownwithhimtohavedinner,andIdidnâthaveitinmetomakeupanexcuse.
Idiscovered then thatRenhadconfiscated the irondaggers at somepoint,andwearmedourselvesupjustincasesomeonewantedtogoforaroundtwowithme.
âWas there anyone else involved in the attack?â I asked as I hooked thedaggertomyhip.Itfeltgoodtohaveitback.Ituggedmyshirtoverthebeltanddagger.
âNotasfarasIcantell.âRenopenedthedoor,andwestarteddownthehall.âAndtrustme,Iâvebeenveryconvincingonwhenitcomestohowimportantitistotellthetruth.â
Iglancedathim.Hisjawwassetinahardline.âSo,youthinkitwasonlythosetwo?â
Rennoddedashehit thebutton tobringup theelevator.âIâve interviewednearlyeightypercentofthefaehere.Sofar,noneofthemwereinvolved.â
Eightypercent?âDamn,youâvebeenbusy.âThe elevator doors slid open, and he stepped aside, allowingme to enter.
âHadtokeepbusysinceIwasbannedfromyourroom.Itwaseitherthatorgocrazy.â
I foldedmy arms over my waist, focusing on the brown paneled walls. IcouldnâtimaginewhatitwouldbelikeifRenhadbeeninjuredandIhadnâtbeenabletoseehim.
âIdohavesomequestions.âRenleanedagainstthewall,drawingmygaze.âDidthefaesayanythingtoyou?â
Exhalingslowly,Inodded.âTheydidnâtcomeaftermebecauseIâmanOrdermember.â I paused. âOr was. Who knows at this point. Anyway, they did itbecauseIwasahalflingand...â
Whatthefaehadsaidtomecameroaringback.Holycrap,Iâdforgottenthatthe fae had said the Prince would find me here, that heâd eventually breakthroughtheglamour.
Mystomachbottomedoutjustastheelevatoropenedonthemainfloor.âAndwhat?âRensteppedout.Ifollowed,myskinfeelinglike ice.âTheywerejustscared.Thatwasall.â
Mygazeliftedtohis.âTheywerejustscared.â
âIdonâtgiveafuckif theywereterrifiedornot.âHiseyeshardened.âYouweresupposedtobesafehere.Youwerenât.â
Thedoorsclosedbehindus,butneitherofusmoved.âAndIshouldâvebeenabletodefendmyself.â
âYoudidnâthaveadagger,somethingthatwonâthappenagain.ââWithorwithout thedagger, Ishouldâveeasily taken themdownorgotten
away,âIpointedout,stilldisgustedoverhoweasyithadbeenforthefae.âIwasunpreparedandhadnâtbeenpayingattention.â
Rensteppedintome.âYoutookoneofthemdown,Ivy.Withoutaweapon.Afterbeingstabbed.Giveyourselfsomecredit.â
My lips twitchedbut it didnât spread into a real smile.Notwhen the faeâswordswereechoinginmyhead.âIneedtotalktoTannerrealquick.Iâlljoinyouinthecafeteria.â
Hisheadcocked.âIcangowithyou.ââYoudonâtneedto.âIquicklysteppedaroundhim.âItâsonlygoingtotakea
coupleofminutes.Iâllberightthere.âRenopenedhismouth,but Ididnâtgivehim thechance to sayanything. I
joggedoffdowntheothercorridor,relievedwhenIlookedovermyshoulderanddidnâtseehim.
It tooknoamountof timeforme to findTanner.Hewas inhisoffice,andwhen I burst into the room, he was sitting in a wingback chair across fromMerle,engaginginsometeatime.
MerlehadbeenostracizedfromtheOrderagesago,somethingthatalwaysirritatedme since she had given her life and then some to them. Rumor wassheâdbeencaughtbyafaewithouttheprotectionofacloverandhermindhadbeenafewscrewsshortsincethen,butwhoevenknewifthatwastrue?Merlemaybeodd,butshewassharpasatackwheneverIwasaroundher.
AndIcouldnâthelpbutrememberherstandinginthebackoftheroomRenhad brought my bleeding body into. Her face had been void of all emotion.Couldshehavehadsomethingtodowithit?
Shecouldbeodd,butshealwaysseemedtolikeme.âIvy.âTannerputhisitty-bittycupontoaplatterandsmiledeventhoughit
wasobvioushewassurprisedtoseeme.âIâmsogladtoseeyouupandmovingabout.â
âAreyoureally?âIasked,staringpointedlyatMerleâsback.Shedidnâtturnaround.
âOf course.â He looked and sounded surprised by the question. âWhathappenedtoyouwasinexcusableandyouhavemymostsincereapologiesthatitoccurred.Ipromisedyousanctuary.Youdidnotreceivethat.â
Before I could respond,Merledid. âIvy is a trainedmemberof theOrder.Twoordinary faeshouldnothavebeendifficult forher tohandle.Back inmyheyday,Icouldtakefouroutintheblinkofaneye.â
Wow.Myeyesnarrowedonherback. âWell, thankyou formaking it sound like
gettingstabbedwasmyfault.ââItwasnotyourfault,âTannerwasquicktoadd.âIamgladtohearthatso
farRenhasnotfoundanyconspirators.âHisgazedroppedtowherethedaggercreatedaslightbulgealongmyhip.âThoughIdounderstandwhyyoufeeltheneedtoarmyourselves.â
âIâmnotheretotalkaboutgettingstabbed.ââThenwhatareyouhere for?âMerleglancedoverhershoulderatmeas I
stalkedtowheretheysat.âIimagineitâssomethingquiteurgentsinceyouforgotthatitwaspolitetoknock.â
AsmuchasIlikedMerle,Ihadtoignoreheratthispoint.âCanthePrincefindmehere?â
Tannerâs brows lifted as he leaned forward in his chair. âOutside of whathappened,youâresafehere,Ivy.Icanassureyouââ
âIâm not asking if Iâm safe,â I cut him off. âBecause nomatterwhat youclaim,thatâsobviouslynottrue.IâmaskingifthePrincecansniffmeouthere?â
HeglancedatMerle,whocalmlytookadrinkfromhertinyteacup,andamomentpassedbeforeheanswered. âOurpresencehere isheavilyglamoured,evenfromotherfae.Unlesstheyknowtolookandsee,theywillnotfindus.â
Iwasnâtstupid.âThatdoesnâtanswerthequestion,Tanner.âClaspinghishandstogether,hetiltedhisheadtotheside.âTheglamourisnât
infinite.Everythinghasalimit,Ivy.ThePrincewasnâtlookingforusbefore,butbynow, Iamsureheknows thatweexist inNewOrleans.Heâllbe searchingandheâspowerful.â
Myheartturnedoverinmychest.âWhatdoesthatmean,exactly?âMerleloweredhercup.âWhatheâssaying,dear,isthatthePrincecouldpoke
aholethroughtheglamour.Itwouldnotholdagainsthiswill.âOhmyGod.âSoyouârebasicallysayingthatifhesomehowfiguredoutthat
HotelGoodFaewashere,hecouldripawaytheglamourandenter?âThesmileslippedfromTannerâsfaceashenodded.âHecould,butwehave
noreasontobelievethathewouldbecomeawareofus.ââAnd why is that?â I demanded. âYou have hundreds of fae here. Any
numberofthemcouldsaythewrongthingtothewrongfae.ââThey knowwhat is at stake,â Tanner replied. âNone of themwant to be
foundbythePrince.Theyknowwhatwouldhappentothem.â
Evenifthatwasthecase,thatstilldidnâtmeanitwasunlikelythatthePrincewouldeverfindthisplace.âDiditeveroccurtoyouthathecouldhavesomeonelikeFayeonhisteamplayingspy?â
Tannerâslipsthinned.Merledidnâtanswer,andIseriouslywonderedifthathadcrossedtheirminds.Ifnot,theywereutteridiots.
Pressureclampeddownonmychest.âWhatwouldhappenifthePrincegotinhere?â
âBesideshimtakingyou?âMerleliftedherchin,herunlinedfacehidinghertrue age. âThe fae here,without feeding, are nomatch for the Prince and hiswarriors.âMerleâsgazewassharp.âIfhecomes,theywillnotsurviveanyattackhemaylaunch.â
Iclosedmyeyes.Sothefaewhoattackedmewasright.âMebeinghereisadangertoallofthem.â
âThePrincebeinginthisworldisadangertoeverylivingcreature,âTannersaid, andwhen I openedmyeyes, hehad sat back in his chair. âThe faewhoconsiderthisplaceahavenknowthis.â
âIamthinkingafewarenothappyaboutthat,âIpointedout.TherewasnothingTannercouldsayinreturntothat.âSo, letmeget this straight.The faehere arebasically safe as longas the
Princedoesnâtcatchwindofthisplace?Butifhedoes,heâllfindawaytogetinandhewillkilleveryfaeinhereforshitsandgiggles?â
Tannerpaled.âThatisanunlikelyyes.âUnlikely?Yeah.Right. I felt like IknewDrakewell enough toknowheâd
eventually,sooner than later, find thisplace.âI thinkyouforgot tomentionallthisinyourstayatHotelGoodFaepitchwhenIfirstarrived.â
âHedidnât fail tomention it, dear.He chosenot to.âMerle heldmygaze.âThesafetyofthosehereisirrelevanttothemissionofkeepingyourbellyemptyofthePrinceâsseed.â
I vomited a little in my mouth. âCan you never say it like that again?Please?â
âItâs the truth,â she replied. âThese fae would be dead if the Princediscovered the locationwhetheryouwerehereornot.Keepingyououtofhishandsisthetoppriority.â
Thatwashardtoswallow.Ididnât likeknowingthatmylifeâor,well,mywombâhadahighervaluethanotherlives.âOrIcould,youknow,justdie.Thatwouldfixtheproblem.â
Sheheldmygaze.âItwould,however, it appearsyouârehard tokillwhenyoucanfeedandhealyourself.â
Isuckedinasharpbreath.âIdidnâtchoosetodothat.â
âI know.â Something flickered over her face. Sympathy? Compassion?Constipation?Whoknew?âIknowyouwouldnothavemadethatcall,buttherearepeopleherewhowillmakethatcallforyou.Andtheywillcontinuetodoso,tosaveyou.â
Shewas right. âButme being heremeans that the unlikely chance of himdiscoveringthisplacemovesclosertothelikelyterritory.â
âItâsirrelevant,sweetie,âMerlerepeated.I blinked at her and then turned toTanner. âEvery time someonegoes out
thereâoutintheworldbeyondtheglamourofthisbuilding,theyruntheriskofbeingseenbyoneofthePrinceâsminions.âMyheartlurchedinmychest.âJustlikewhenRenandFayewentout there lookingfor theCrystal.Theycouldâvebeenseenandfollowed.â
âFayeiscarefulandsheâsawareoftherisk,âTannerstated.âAndwhataboutRen?âTannerdidnâtreplyandahorriblethoughtoccurred.DidRenknowaboutthe
dangerofme stayinghere?No.Therewasnowayhewouldâve signedoffonputtingthefaehereindanger.ButthenIthoughtaboutwhatheâddoneforme.Iobviouslydidnâtknowwhatextentheâdgotokeepmesafe.âYousaidthatmebeingherewasnoproblem.â
âAnditisnât,Ivy.âTannerpickeduphiscup.âWehavesurvivedherelongerthanyourealizewithoutbeingdiscoveredbythosewewishtoremainhiddento.Weshallcontinuethatway.â
âThingsaredifferentnow.ThatwasbeforethePrincearrived.âHe shook his head. âThings are just more complicated.â A faint smile
appeared, one of approval. âI appreciate your concern for my brothers andsisters,morethanyouknow,especiallyafterwhatwasdonetoyou,butwearewillingtoshouldertherisktomakesurethePrincedoesnotopenthosedoors,destroyingthemortalrealmjustlikehiscourtdidtoourworld.â
Noteveryfaeherewasobviouslywillingtoshoulderthatrisk.âIdonât appreciateyour concern,âMerle retorted. âItâsmisguidedandwill
leadtofoolishdecisions.ââDoyounotcareaboutthefaehere?âIdemanded.Asmallsmileappeared,thekindthatremindedmeofagrandmotherâs.âYou
wouldnâtwantmetoanswerthatquestion.ââAndwewouldnâtaskhertoanswerthatquestion,âTanneradded.Icouldnâtbelievetheycouldbesodismissiveoftheriskinvolvedorthefact
that they thought Iâdbeokaywith this.The inhabitantsof thisplacewere fae,buttheywerenâthurtinghumans.LikeTink,theywerejusttryingtoscratchoutsomesortof life.AndTinkandRenwerealsohere.Themstayingsafewasof
theutmostprioritytome.âIâmnotokaywiththis.ââWedonâtexpectyoutobe,âMerleanswered.âWejustexpectyoutodeal
withit.YougrewupintheOrder.Youknowsometimesyouhavetosacrificethemanytoprotect thefew.Youâve lived that lifeeverydayyouâvebreathed.Getwiththeprogram,Ivy.Ithasnâtchanged.â
IsuckedinairandturnedtoTanner.âYouallhavetorealizethatitâsonlyamatteroftimebeforethePrincerealizesyouâreharboringmehere.Itâsnotifhedoes, itâswhen he does.What do you do then?How longwould the glamourholdagainsthim?â
Tanner took a sip of his tea. âWeâd hopefully have weeks.â There was apauseashispalegazemetmine.âButifweârelucky,weâllhavedays.Hoursifwearenât.â
Chapter11
Getwiththeprogram?Oh,Iwassogoingtogetwiththeprogram.Throwingthedoorshutbehind
me, I flipped on the light and stalked toward the narrow closet next to thedresser.
Spying the weekender bag Tink had used to pack some of my stuff in, Igrabbeditfromtheflooroftheclosetandtosseditontothebed.
Days?Hours?Weeks?TheyhadnoideahowlongwehadbeforethePrincefoundthisplaceandbroke throughtheglamour. Itwasnâtanunlikelyevent. Itwas inevitable. Therewere toomay fae here, toomany unknown variables atplay.Withmehere,thePrincewoulddiscoverHotelGoodFae,andtherewasnodoubtinmymindthattheveryfirstpersonheâdtakeoutwasRen.
PanicunfurledinthepitofmystomachasIstaredatthebag.Withsuddenclarity,IknewIcouldnâttellRenorTinkwhatIwasplanningtodo.Neitherofthemwouldwantmetoleave.Theyâdstopme,andthewholepointwastokeepthemsafe.
ThatmeantIhadtoleavewithoutthem.RawpainpunchedmychestasIturnedtothedresser.CouldIdothat?Could
Iwalkoutofherewithoutsayinggoodbye?Withoutonemorekiss?OnemoreIloveyou?
AndwhataboutTink?Hewouldbesopissed,andwouldprobablyannoyRentothepointofgetting
himselfmurderedincoldblood,butTinkhadtounderstand.HeknewwhatthePrincewascapableof.
âOhGod,âIwhispered,pressing theheelofmypalmtomyforehead.ThebackofmythroatburnedasIclosedmyeyes.
WhatwasIdoing?Thepanicturnedintothekindofhurtingthatsuckedawayatthesoul.Ihad
toleavethem.Iknewthat.ItwastheonlywaytheyâdbesafeuntiltheyfoundthatdamnedCrystal,orI...foundawaytoweakenthePrincesohecouldbekilled.
Loweringmy hand, I openedmy eyes. Theywere damp as I stared at thedresser. Everyone was focused on putting the Prince back in the Otherworldbecausekillinghimwasvirtuallyimpossible,butnothingwastrulyimpossible.
Someoneouttherehadtoknowhowtoweakenhimenoughthatcuttingoff
hisheadwasfeasible.SteelyresolvefilledmeasIsteppedforward,openingthedrawer.Sincethe
Princecouldsenseme,hehadtoknowIwasstillinNewOrleans.IfIleft,thenheâdfollow.IâdjusthavetokeepmovinguntilIfiguredoutawaytoweakenthebastard long enough to kill him.While Iwasgone,Ren andTink couldworkwithTannertofindtheCrystal.Theyâdbesafe,andthatwasallthatmattered.
ThedooropenedjustasIyankedseveralpantsoutofthedrawer.Spinningaround,IsawRenstandingintheopendoorway.
Crap.IguessedIwouldnâtknowifIcouldwalkoutofherewithoutseeinghimor
sayinggoodbye.Thisjustgotahellofalotharder.Nothingabouthimlookedrelaxedashisgazemovedfrommyhandstothe
open bag on the bed. âYou didnât come to the cafeteria.â Therewas a pause.âWhatareyoudoing,Ivy?â
What Iwasdoingat that exactmomentwasbeing frozenbetween thebedanddresser,cradlingpantstomyboobs.âI...Iâmpacking.â
Stepping into the room, he closed the door behind him. âPacking to gowhere?â
Iopenedmymouth,but Ihadno ideawhat tosay. Ihadnâtplanned toseehimbeforeIleft.
Hisbrowsloweredashecamecloser.âWhatareyoudoing,Sweetness?âSwallowing,Iglanceddownatthebag.AhugepartofmewishedIcouldlie,
butIâdalreadyliedtoomanytimestohim.Asmuchasthiswasgoingtosuck,Ihadtotellthetruth.âI...Ineedtoleave.â
âLeave?âHestoppedbesideme.âOkay.IfeellikeIâmmissingavitalpartofsome story.Did something else happen?âHis eyes flared a vivid green. âDidsomeonetrytoattackyouagain?â
âTherewasnâtanattackbetweenthetimeIleftyouinthehallwayandnow.âI placed the pants in the bag and looked up at him. âDid you know that thePrincecangetthroughtheglamourhere?â
His expression smoothed out. âYouâre safe here, Ivy.Nomatterwhat. Iâmgoingtomakeitsoââ
âIâm not worried about me being safe!â My frustration rose. âWhy doeseveryone keep bringing that up like I need to be taken care of? I gotmy asskicked.Ialmostdied,butIâmaliveandIâmnotscared.â
Confusionfilledhisstrikingeyes.âIâmnotsayingthatyouârescared,butitwouldbeokayifyouwere,Ivy.Noonecouldblameyouforthat.â
Cursingundermybreath, I spunandgrabbedahandfulofunderwear.Thething was, I wasnât scared. I was angry. Furious. Enraged all the time, but I
wasnâtscared.Notformyself.âIâmnotafraid.âTherewasapausewhileIshovedmyunderwearintothebag.âIvyââIwhirledonhim.âDoyouguysevenrealizethatIâmtheonlyoneherethat
thePrincewonâtkill?Unlesshefindsanotherhalflingsomewhereintheworld,spoileralert,Iâmsurvivingthisstory.Icanâtsaythesameforallofyou.â
âYeah,andwhathewantsfromyouisnâtawalkinthepark,Ivy.âMyhandstightened.âIknowexactlywhathewantsfromme.Trustme.Igot
frontrowticketsforthat.âRendrewback,wincing. âIâmsorry.Thatwascallousofme to throw that
outtherelikethat.ââItdoesnâtmatter.âIwavedhimoff.âIcanâtbehere.NotwhenthePrince
knowsdamnwell Iâmstill inNewOrleans.Hehas tobeout there lookingforme.Itâsonlyamatteroftimebeforehefollowsafaehere.â
âSo youâre . . . leaving the one place that could protect you from him toprotectthefaehere?â
âYep.â I moved to the dresser, searching for tops. âThat sums it up quitenicely.Andletâsnotforget,itâsnotlikeeveryoneishappytohavemehere.NotthatIcanblamethemfornotwantingmehere.IfIgo,theyâresafe.â
âThatâsabsurd.ââIdonâtthinkyoureallybelievethat.ââIâmgoingtogetrealwithyou.Idonâtgiveafuckaboutthefaehere.âIgaspedasIfacedhim.âWow,Ren.ââWhat?âHischestrosewithaheavybreathashemetmywideeyes.âItâsthe
truth.Iâmnotwishingillonthem.Exceptfortheverydeadbastardswhowentafteryou,therestseemcool,butthereisnochoicewhenitcomesbetweenyouandthem.â
Thatkindofmademefeelallwarmandfuzzyinmychestforallthewrongreasons.âItâsnotjustthefaethatareindangerbecauseofme.Tinkis.Youare.âPanicspreadinmystomach,reachingmychest.âThePrincewouldlovenothingmorethantokillyou.Youknowthat.â
Amuscletickedinhisjaw.âIwouldlovenothingmorethantocomefacetofacewiththatfucker.â
Horrorseizedme.ThemerethoughtofRengoingtoetotoewiththePrincemademewanttoscreamuntilmyvoicegaveout.âAreyouserious?Youknowwhatheâscapableof.ItâsnotlikefightinganormalfaeorevenanAncient.ThePrinceââ
âI know what heâs capable of,â Ren growled, eyes glimmering. âDo notunderestimatethestrengthofmyhatredforthatsonofabitch.â
âIdonât,butââ
âIcantakecareofmyself.SocanTink.Youârenotdoingusanyfavorsbyleaving.â
Grabbingshirts,Iwalkedthemovertothebed.âIdonâtthinkIâmdoingyouafavor.Iâm....âSqueezingmyeyesshut,Ishookmyheadandtriedagain.âIcouldnât live with myself if something happened to you or Tink. Do youunderstandthat?Icouldnâtdealwiththat.â
âAndwefeelthesamewayaboutyou.Ithinkyouknowthatalready.âIdid.Lookwhattheyâdalreadydonetosaveme.Renwouldlivewiththeguiltof
forcingmetofeedfortherestofhislife.Tinkprobablydidnâtfeelallthatbadabout it, but whatever. They were already making sacrifices and horrifyingchoicesbecauseofme.
Itstoppednow.His voice was closer, more even. âI get that you donât want to put these
peopleindanger.ThatyouwanttoprotectTinkandme,butSweetness,youârejust...youârereactingbecauseofwhathappenedtoyou.Kneejerk.Youârenotthinkingthisthrough.â
I dropped my shirts into the bag. âIâm reacting because I have to dosomething.Icanâtsitaroundandjustwaitforhimtostormthisplaceorwaitforoneoftheothertwentypercentyouhavenâttalkedtothatmayormaynotwanttokillmetoprotecttheirfamilies.Iâmnotgoingtodothat.â
Renplacedagentlehandonmyshoulder,butIstill jumpedat thecontact.Thistime,though,hedidnâtpullhishandawaylikehenormallywouldwhenIwasjumpy.Instead,hecarefullyturnedmetohim.
I drew in adeepbreath. âI canât stayhere,Ren.Youknow that I canât dothat. I canâtbeokaywithputtingother lives indanger,and Iknowyouârenotokaywiththateither.â
He looked likehewasabout todisagreewith the last statement.âWehavehelpcoming.FaethatcanfindtheCrystal.Tomorrow.â
âButwhatifitdoesnâtwork?âIasked.âWhatiftheycanâtfindtheCrystalintime?AndifwegetthisCrystal,howinthehellarewegoingtotrapthePrince,andgethisbloodandmybloodonitintheOtherworld?â
Hisjawtightened.âWehavenâtexactlycrossedthatbridgeâââThatâsthepoint.Idonâteventhinkthatbridgehasbeenbuiltyet,sowhatif
wenevercrossit?ââWewill,âhesaid,voicehard.âEvenifIhavetobuildthatfuckingbridge
myselfwithmyowntwodamnhands.âIsighed.âWeshouldbefocusingonfindingawaytoweakenhim.Therehas
tobesomethingoutthere,someonewhoknows.â
Therewasapause.âAndthatâswhatyouwant todoout there?Findout ifitâspossible?â
âIthastobepossible.Hehastohaveaweakness,andevenashardaskillinghimwillbe,ithastobeeasierthancompletingtheritualofbloodandstone.â
AndIknewexactlywhereIwasgoingtostart.TheOrderandtheElite.Ifanytwogroupsouttherehadanyidea,itwould
bethem,anditwasfarpasttimeforthemtostarttalking.Alongmomentpassed.âOkay.âHisshoulderssquaredasifhehadcometo
somekindofconclusion.âWherewouldwego?ââIhavenâtexactlythoughtthatfarahead,âIadmitted,leavingoutthewhole
payingavisittotheOrderthing.IwouldnâtbeabletostayinNewOrleanslong.My visit with them would have to be quick and I had a feeling it would bebloody.ThistimeIwouldnâtbeunprepared.Ohhellno.âButIthinkIâdhavetogetasfarawayaspossible.MaybeEurope?Ihavemoneysavedup.IthinkIcangetoutbeforeherealizeswhereIam.â
âAnd then what?â he asked, cupping my cheeks in his broad hands. Hebroughtmetohim,againsthischest.Onearmcircledmywaist.âTellmewhatthenextstepis.â
Relaxing intohis touch, I letouta littlesigh.Weariness invadedmybonesandmuscles. I didnât want to leave him. God, that was the last thing I trulywanted todo.âIdonâtknow.Keepmovinguntil . . .wefigureouthowtoputhimback inhisworldorcankillhim,but IâllbewhereverandyouâyouandTinkwillbesafe.â
Everything aboutRen changed in an instant.A small tremorwent throughhimandthenhisentirebodystiffened.âWait.Youâreplanningtoleavewithoutme?â
Aslight frownturned thecornersofmy lipsdown.âIdonâtwant to,but ifIâmnotaroundyou, thenyouârenot indangerâwell,youâdbe in lessdanger.ThePrincewillgowhereIgo.Youâlljustbein...normaldanger,whichisalotbetterthanpsychoPrincedanger.â
Renpulledback, tiltingmyheadupsoourgazesmet.His lipspartedonasharpinhale.âYouwereinherepackingyourstuff toleavewithoutme.Thatâswhatyouweredoing.âUnderstandingseeped intohis features.âHolyshit. If Ihadnâtwalkedintothisroom,wouldyouhaveevenstoppedtosaygoodbye?Orwereyouplanningtosneakoutofherewithoutsayingaword?â
Crap.Ididnâtwanttoanswerthatbecausehewouldnâtunderstandmyanswer.Rendroppedhishandandtookastepbackandthenanother.âShit,Ivy.âOh,thiswasnotgood.âIdonâtknowwhattosay.â
âIthinkthatsaysitall,âhereplied,voicerough.âNoâno,thatdoesnâtsayanything.âAdifferentkindofpanicblossomedin
thecenterofmychest.NoneofthiswasgoinghowIâdplanned.Thenagain,Ididnâthavemuchofaplan.Renhadbeenrightaboutthewholekneejerkthing.âYoudonâtunderstand.IfIhadââ
âYouâre right. I donâtunderstand, Ivy. I cannot evencomprehendhowyoucouldwalkoutofherewithoutsayinganythingtome.âHisgazedriftedovermein a way that made me think he wasnât sure who he was staring at. âAftereverythingthathashappened,youâddothattome?â
My spine stiffened. âIâd do anything to protect you. Just like youâd doanythingtoprotectme,right?â
âAreyoufuckingshittingmerightnow?âheexploded.âDoesprotectingmeincludestressingmethefuckout?â
Ifoldedmyarmsovermychest.âWell,noâââOkay.Howabouthavingmego insanewithworry?âHesteppedforward,
chindipped.âDoesprotectingmealsomean leavingme to think thegoddamnworstthinghashappenedtoyouagain?Thatanotherfaegottoyouorworse?â
Ijolted.âIwouldâveleftaletter.IwouldnâtâââA letter? You have got to be shitting me.â Lifting a hand, he thrust his
fingers through his messy hair. âI shouldâve known.â Dropping his hand, helaughedharshly.âYouâvealreadydonethisbefore.â
âWhatdoyoumean Iâvedone this before?Last I checked, this is the firsttimeweâvefoundourselvesinthispredicament.â
Hiseyeswidenedwithdisbelief. âItâsnot.Backat thatdamnmansionyoumadeadealwiththatsonofabitchtofreeme.â
Myarmsfelltomysides.âThatisnotlikethisatall.ââItâsnot?Youputyourselfindangerneedlessly,âheargued.âWhatwasIsupposedtodo?âIshouted,fightingbacktears.âHewasgoing
tokillyou,Ren.Doyounotgetthat?WhatelsewasIsupposedtodo?ââAnythingbutagreetogiveyourselftothatmonstertofreeme!âheyelled
back,bodytense.AirlodgedinmythroatasIstumbledbackastep.âDidyouthinkIforgotaboutthat?âHeshookhishead.âThehellIâmletting
youwalkoutofheretodothatagain.ââAreyougoingtostopme?âIshotback.âLockmeupinthisroom?Chain
metothebed?âOnesideofhis lipscurvedupinahumorlesssmile.âDonât temptme,Ivy,
because youâre obviously in need of someone to make better life choices foryou.â
My heart thundered in my chest. The ever-present fury that had beensimmeringinsidelongbeforeIescapedthePrinceeruptedlikeasupervolcano.âReally?â
âReally.âHecrossedhisarms.âAt least thenIknowIwonât findyou inabloody heap somewhere, or you wonât be running around, getting yourselfcaptured.â
Ilostit.âThenthatmakesyounobetterthanthePrince!âBlood drained from Renâs face. Immediately, I knew Iâd gone too far.
Holding anyone anywhere wasnât cool, but Jesus, Ren was nothing like thePrince.
Whatwaswrongwithme?Something had to be forme to say that to him. Something horrible.But I
didnâtgetachanceforsomedeepself-discoverytofigureoutexactlyhowmuchmyheadwasmessedup.
Renâs expression locked down. âTanner said that the fae should be heretomorrow.CanyouwaituntilthenbeforeyourunoffanddoââHelookedawayforamomentandthenrefocusedonme.âDowhateveritisyouâregoingtodo?â
I flinched. His tone was so incredibly distantâcold. Iâd never heard himsoundlikethattome.Ever.
âWill you stay?â he demanded, emerald eyes blazing. âStay until the onesTanner thinkscan locate theCrystal come? If thatâs abust, then Iwonât sayaword.Promisemeyouwillstayatleastuntilthen.Please.â
Partofmedidnâtwanttoriskwaitinganotherhour.WhoknewwhenthesemagicalCrystalsniffingfaewereactuallygoingtoshowup.IhadnodoubtinmymindthatthePrincewoulddiscoverthisplace,butweprobablyhadacoupleof days before that happened. Maybe even a week, but when the Prince didcome,Iknewtherewouldnâtevenbehoursbeforehebrokethrough.
Ren . . .Renhadsaidplease, andall I could thinkofwashimsaying thatsamewordtome,beggingmetohangonwhenIâdbeeninjured.
Iexhaledraggedly,ploppingdownonthebed.âFine.Iâllstayuntiltheygethere,butiftheycanâthelpââ
âYouâreout,âhegrowled.âGotit.âMygazeflickeredtohis.âRenâââDonât,â he cut me off, and my stomach soured. âI donât want to hear
whateverisabouttocomeoutofyourmouth.âI stiffened. Therewas nomistaking the fury etched into his face or in his
tone. It was restrained but there, like the eye of the storm in themiddle of ahurricane.
âIknowyouâvebeenthroughhellandyouâretryingtodeal.Damn,Iknow
thatthereâsahugepartofyoustillstuckinthathell,especiallyaftertheattackandwhat we did to save youâwhat happened between us afterward. I knowthereâsahugepartofyoustillthere,backatthathouse.Thatâswhatwakesyouup every night and thatâs why you spend your day hiding from meâfromeveryone.Thatâswhyyoudonâttalktome.â
âI-Italktoyou,âIsaid,feelingmythroatsqueezeshut.âBullshit,âheshotback.âSeeingyouhurtingandhavingnocluehowtohelp
youkillsmeâeatsawayatmeeverydamnday.ThatpainisworsethananythingIwentthroughatthatdamnhouse.â
âYouhavenâttalkedtome!âIremindedhim.âItâsnotlikeyouâvedonethewholecaringandsharingthing.â
âYouhavenâtasked,Ivy.âAirlodgedinmythroat.OhGod,hewasright.Ihadnât...Ihadnâtasked.âBut you want to know now? Fine. As you already know, I got my ass
captured the night you toldmeyouwere theHalfling. Iwas caught up inmyheadandwalkedrightintoadamntrapthatbitchhadset.Igotknockedout,andwhenIwokeup,Iwasinthatpitch-blackcell,chainedtoadamnwall.IsawthePrincefirstand thatâshowIknewwhathewasgoing todo.After feedingandbeatingtheshitoutofme,hebecameme.ThenheleftmetoBreena.â
Mystomachtwisted.âThatbitchknowshowtousehernailsandteeth.âTheimageofhisbarechestsurfaced.Hisskinhadbeenshreddedandbitten.
I could taste the fury Iâd felt upon seeinghimand Iwanted todrawbloodalloveragain.âDidshe...?â
âDidsheforceherselfonme?âHiseyesflashed.âWoulditchangethingsifshehad?â
âGod.No.âEverything inside ofmewas twisted up. âItwouldnât be yourfault.Iwouldnâtthinkdifferentlyofyouoranythinglikethat.â
Renwasquietforalongmoment.âShemessedwithme,butshewasmoreinterestedinfuckingwithmyheadthanmybody.Prettyconfidentsheâsactuallydisgusted by humans and wouldnât lower herself to screw one. Did she saysomethingdifferent?â
Abitofreliefsweptthroughme,butitwasbittersweet.KnowingthatwhatBreenaclaimedhadhappenedbetweenthemwasfalsedidnâtlessenthehorrificthings thatweredonetoRen.âShedid,andIwasneversure if Ibelievedher.FayesaidBreenahadnât,butFayewouldlietokeepmefromattackingBreena.âMemoriesofBreenaâstauntsreturned.âSheknewwhereyourOrdertattoowas.â
The three interlocking spirals were in the same place as mine, near myhipbone.
âTheir favorite pastimewas to stripme naked and leaveme to freezemyballsoff.â
âJesus.â Exhaling raggedly, I sat back down on the bed. The wearinessreturned,dampeningtheangeruntilitreturnedtoasimmer.
ThesilencewasbrokenwhenRensaid,âIknowthatIâmonlyawareofaboutonetenthoftheshityouwentthroughthere,andIâvewantedtoknowallofit.EverysingledamnhorriblethingsothatIcanbethereforyou,butIâvewaited,becauseIwantedyoutobereadyâtobeatthepointwhereyoucantalktome.Soitshockstheshitoutofmethatyouweregoingtorunwithoutme,withouteventellingme.Thatyoudidnâtwantmebesideyou,nomatterwhat.â
AnythingIwasabouttosayturnedtoashonmytongue.ThatwasnâthowImeantforittocomeacross.Notatall.
Heswallowedhard.âAndyouknowwhatIjustnowrealized?Youâvebeenrunning without me this whole time, havenât you? Thereâs never been an us.Thereâsbeenyouandthenthereâsbeenmechasingyou.â
TearscrawledupthebackofmythroatasIroseonshakyknees.âThatâsnothowitâsbeen.Ren,thatâsââ
âItâsnot?Youmightwanttothinkaboutthat.âHesteppedback,openingthedoor.âThefuckedupthing,Ivy?Youwerewillingtostay,butnotformeânotforus.Andthatâsnotbecauseyouâretryingtoprotectme.Youwerebailingonme.Youwerebailingonusâifthereeverreallywasanus.â
Chapter12
Ididalotofthinkingthatnight.ItwasallIdid.Andforonce,Ididnâtspendthenightthinkingaboutwhathadhappenedor
what couldâve happened while the Prince held me captive. I wasnât eventhinking about getting stabbed. Instead, I lay there,my thoughts consumedbywhatRenhadsaidasIstaredattheblandwhiteceiling.
Renhadleftandhadnâtcomebacktoourroom,andIdidnâtsleep,nordidIputallmyclothesbackinthedresser.Instead,Iâdcreatedmyselfalittlebug-outbag,stashingabouttwodaysâworthofclothinginthebagandplacingitbackintheclosetjustincaseweranoutoftime.
ThenIâdwaited.PartofmehadexpectedRen to return,but theotherhalfknewthatwhat I
hadplannedcuthimdeepandafewhourswasnâtgoingtostitchtheholeIdugopeninhimbacktogether.Ihadnâtmeantforeverythingtoturnoutthewayitdid.Ijustwasnât...
God,Ijustwasnâtthinkingstraight.NowthatIwashere,allalone,withnothingbutmyownstupidheadtokeep
myselfcompany,Irealizedthatthewholetakeoffrunningwithnoideawheretogowas incredibly stupidandcruel.Sodamncruel,not just toRenbutalso toTink.
Ren had been right about what my leaving wouldâve done to them. Itwouldâve been terrible, and even though Iâd had the best of intentions, in allhonestly,theywerepanickedintentions.
Igaveway topanic, and the ideaof runningwasat leastdoing somethingotherthansittingaroundandtwiddlingmythumbs.
Orgettingstabbed.Youâvebeenrunningwithoutmethisentiretime.It took several hours forme towork through the denial of that statement.
HadIbeenrunningfromhimthisentiretime?Ididnâtwanttobelieveit,becauseitwassoterrible.
God, it sucked ass to admit it to myself, but it was true. Even from thebeginningIâdmadeeverythingexceptionallydifficultforRen.ItwasnâtbecauseIwantedtobeachallenge.WhenImetRen,hewasthefirstguyIwasinterestedin after the death of Shaun. Iâd been so closed off, so awkward at being
interestedinaguy.ThingshadbeeneasierbetweenuswhenIfinallyopeneduptohimâwhenIfinallyallowedmyselftofallinlovewithRen.
ButthenIfoundoutIwastheHalfling.Thatwaswhen I started lying tohimâwhen I startedrunning.Maybenot
physically but definitely mentally. I hadnât told him about seeing the PrinceoutsideCafeDuMonde.IâdhidthetruthofwhatIwasuntilIvirtuallyblurteditout tohimon thedamn street.Renhadbeen trained sincebirth andhewas amemberof theElite.Heknewhow to takecareofhimself, but Iâdblindsidedhim,bringinghisbiggest fear to life.Notonly that,but Iâdconstantlycuthimoutofdecisions.Itwasnât likeIhadtoincludehimineverything.LordknowsRenneverexpected that frommeoranyone,butwhenyouarewith someone,whenyoulovethem,youincludethem.
Youâreateam.Youdonâthide thingsfromthem.Yousureashelldonât lie,andyoudonât
comparethemtoamonster.Iâd screwed up, more than once, and long before the Prince had dug his
clawsinme.Nowthegulfbetweenustrulyseemedunsurpassable.NowonderRenfeltthewayhedid.Weneverreallygotthechancetohave
normalcy in our relationship. To go out on dates and spend lazyweekends athome, exploring each other and inevitably getting on each otherâs nerves.Wehadnâtgottenthechancetohavenormalfights,aboutwhattoeatorifwewantedmoreinthefuture.Wedidnâtgetthechancetobuildanyamountoftrust,whichwaswhyIwasamazedbyhowacceptingandpatientheâdbeenupuntilafewhoursago.Wewerestill...newatus,andwenevergotachancetofullytakeoffandbecomeanything.
Everythinghadbeenrockyinthebeginning,raggedinthemiddle,andnow...atpossiblytheend...itwasacatastrophewaitingtohappen.
Wewerebroken.Itwasnâtallonme.Rentakingpartinthatcompulsionandallowingmeto
feedonhimwasnâtasmallmisdeed.Igotwhyhedidit.Ievenunderstoodit,butitstillhappenedanditwasstillbetweenus.Butother thanthat?Iwaswomanenoughtoknowitwasonme.
AndIhadnoideaifitwasfixableorifRenwantedtorepairthedamage,butIdidknow that itwouldnâtmatter ifRenendedupkilledor if thePrincewassomehow successful when it came to getting himself a bouncing baby. Ourrelationshipwastheleastofourworries.Notthatitdidnâtfeellikemychestwasbeingcrackedopenandmyheartspoonedoutofme.Itdid.Ithurtjustasbadasgettingstabbedintheback.
I needed to focus, though. I needed to getmy shit straight before I couldeventhinkaboutgettingmyhouseinorder.
ThePrincewasgoingtofindme.Eventually.Becauseatthemoment,Iwasan easier target for him than to find another halfling somewhere in theworld,especiallysincetheElitemadeittheirdutytostraight-upmurderanytheycameacross.
For the whole baby Armageddon to work, the baby-making between thePrinceandIhadtobeconsensual.Hehadtoknowthatwasnever,evergoingtohappen, so what could the Prince hope to accomplish? The only reason heâdgottenmetoagreetostaywithhim,tobewithhim,wastofreeRen.
Hehadcollateral.AndDrakestilldid.ItwasintheweehoursofthemorningwhenitstruckmethatIâdbeenwrong
about the Prince killing Ren on sight, and that realization was what had mepacingtheroomuntilthesunbegantorise.
ThePrincewouldnâtkillRen.Ohno,hewouldusehimagainstme,justlikeheâddonebefore.ThePrincewoulddothesamewithTinkifhediscoveredhispresence.He still had themeans to controlme.All he neededwas to get hishandsononeofthem.
Stoppingatthewindow,Iliftedmygazetothefadingstars.Iwasbacktosquareone.Even if I lefthere, thePrincewouldstillgoafterRen,becauseheknew it
woulddrawmebackfromtheendsoftheEarth.Heâddowhathedidbefore,useRen,andeventhoughIknewwhatwasatstake,IlovedRen.Icouldnâtbethereasonhewashurt.Notagain.NeveragainafterShaun.Thatwasmyweakness.
NotRen,butmypast.Shivering,Isawthattherewereonlythreeoptionsbeforeme,andasthelast
ofthestarstwinkledout,Iknewrunningwasnâtoneofthem.FindtheCrystalandcompletetheritual.FigureouthowtoweakenthePrinceandkillhim.OrgodownthepaththathadstoppedTinkfromtellingmefromdayonethat
IwastheHalfling.ThesamepathRenandTinkhadyankedmefromafewdaysago,whichwastopermanentlyremovemyselffromtheequation.
IlookedlikecrapasIstaredinthemirror,havinghadonlyafewhoursofsleepandstillnosignofRen.Thehealthyglowfromsuckingtheessenceoutofhimwas lost in the dark shadows undermy eyes and the,well, slightly shimmery
skinthatwasnâtactuallyashimmer.Tinkhadbeenwrongaboutthat.SohadI.It was a very faint silvery sheen that only looked shimmery. I knew this
because Iwas standing in front of the longmirror attached to the backof thebathroomdoor,buckassnakedforawhilenow.
BeforemyskinstartedtolooklikeIhadcoveredmyselfinUrbanDecayeyeshadow, staring at myself completely naked wasnât something I did often. Imean, I really didnât need to check out the many different scars and stretchmarks,buthereIwas.
Why?BecauseIhadanewlifemotto.Itwassimple.Getmyshittogether.SinceoffingmyselfwasnâtexactlymytopchoiceofoptionsandIcouldnât
helpfindtheCrystal,theonlynextthingformetodowasfindawaytoweakenthePrince.
Iwasforcingmyselftocometotherealizationthatmybodyhadchanged.Itwasdefinitelyanewskintone,myfeaturesweresharper,moredefined,andmyearswerepointy, andyeah,myeyeswere . . .well, theywerekindof cool. Imean, the contrast between the irises and pupils was kind of striking. Peoplewould probably think they were fake. I could deal with this. My body hadchangedbutitwasstillmine.
Mygazedroppedbelowmynavel.Ireallyneededtofindarazor.Orawaxer.But I coulddealwith this,because Ihad todealwith this.Myappearance
mayhavechangedalittle.Imayhavegottenmyasshandedtomeafewdaysago. Imayhave lost a little ofmyselfwhenDrakewasholdingme captive. Imayhavelostmyselfalongtheway,butIwasstillIvy.
Itwistedtothesideandsighed.Andmyasswasstillnotthemostattractivethingintheworldnaked.Youâd
think the extra fae-ness wouldâve given me a nice heart-shaped bottom orsomething.ThatIwouldnâthavecomplainedabout.
Whatever.Turningtotheotherside,Iranmyhandsovermysidesandback,myfingers
skatingovertheroughridgeofanewscar.I swallowed hard, facing themirror oncemore. I keptmy eyes open as I
smoothed my hands over my waist and then up, over my breasts. My handsstayedthere,cuppingthem.
Allofthiswas...itwasmine.Mybodydidnâtbelong to thePrince.OrRen.Mybodysureashelldidnât
belong to somewhackedoutprophecy. Itwasmineâsilveryskin,pointyears,andallthescarsweremine.
RealizingthatIwasbasicallyfondlingmyownbreasts,Irolledmyeyesanddroppedmyhands.Iquicklychanged,leavingmyhairpulledupbecauseIdidnâtcareaboutmyears.Nope.Notatall.
Now Iwas off to findTink,whichwasnât hard. I just had to look for thelargestandloudesttableinthecafeteria.
Hewaspracticallyholdingcourt.All Icouldseewashisshockinglywhitehairinthecenterofadozenorsofairerheads.
Ignoringthewaymystomachacidsdecidedtogetallbubblyatthescentofcookedmeat, I strode into the cafeteria. Iwas also going to need to invest insomeTumsbecausethenotbeingabletoeatthingwasstupid.ItwasoneofthereasonsIâdgottenmyasskicked.
Heads looked up and followed my progress. Conversations stopped.Whispersstarted.
Myshouldersstartedtocurveinwardundertheweightoftheirstares,butIcaughtmyself.OldIvywouldnotbowherchin.Shewouldnotcare.
SonewIvydidnâtcare.Fixing the kind of smirk onmy face that always annoyed the piss out of
Daniel,IliftedmychinandapproachedTinkâstable.ItwasnâtuntilIwasrighttherethatIrealizedtwothings.
TinkwasDixon-less.AaandRenwasatthetable.How in the world I hadnât seen him until then showed that I also really
neededtoworkonmyobservationskills,buttherehewas,hisrussetheadbentoveraplateofeggwhitesandwhatwasprobablyturkeybaconandwholewheattoast.
BecauseRenwashealthylikethat.Seeing him threw me completely for a loop. He hadnât gone back to the
roomwhenIâdbeenthere,buthewasfreshlyshowered.Hishairwasstilldampandheâdchanged.Hewaswearingablackthermal,pusheduptohiselbows.Ihadnoideawhereheâdshoweredsincehehadnâtreturnedtotheroom.
A thousand words rose to the tip of my tongue. I wanted to apologize. Iwantedtotellhimthatheâdbeenright.Iwantedtoaskhimtohelpmefixthings.
But I said none of those things, because those were things neither of usneededanaudiencefor.Certainlynotme,becauseIwouldprobablybreakdowninugly,horribletears.
Ihada feelingheknew Iwas therewithout lookingup.Maybe itwas thewaythechatteratthetableeasedoff,oritwashisweirdsixthsensekickingin,buthisshoulderstensedandhestoppedchewing.
Tink, on the other hand, had no idea I was there . . . or alive, because it
looked likehewaseye-screwing themale faeacross fromhim.An impressivelevel of eyeball fuckery that I couldâve taken lessons from. But when I sawTinkâslipspartandhelookedlikehewasasecondawayfromlickinghisbottomlip,Iintervened.
Iclearedmythroat.âTink.ââIvy!âTinkbeamedupatme.Threeemptyplateswereinfrontofhim,the
faeacrossfromhimforgotten.âYouheretoeatwithus?ââUh, no. I already ate.â I managed to scarf down a banana on my way
downstairs,sothatwasnâtalie.Turningoveranewleafandall.âIneedtotalktoyou.â
Hesighedheavily.âLook,thefirelastnightwassmall.Iputitoutbeforeitspread,andIalreadyapologizedforit.Theroomneedsremodelinganyway.â
IforcedmygazefromRen.HestillhadnâtacknowledgedIwashere.âNo,itâsnotâwait,therewasafirelastnight?â
âOh.â Tink sat back, crossing his arms. âForget about that.What do youwanttotalkabout?â
I openedmymouth and thendecidednot toquestion thewhole fire thing,becauseIprobablydidnâtwanttoknow.âIwanttotalktoyou.âIpeekedatRen.Heâdstoppedeating,forkdown,handsflatonthetable.âInprivate,Tink.â
âOh,secretsquirrelstuff.âTinkstartedtorise.âIâmhereforthis.âRenlookedupjustthen,hisgazesnaggingmine.âHey.âThatonewordwasflat,emotionless.Empty.âHi,âImanagedtocroakout.Hestaredatme foramoment,and Iworkedup thecourage toaskhim to
join us.But then his jaw tightened. Picking up his plate, he rose and steppedawayfromthetable.âSeeyouguyslater.â
âWait . . .â I trailed off, because it was no use. Renwas already halfwayacross the cafeteria.Watching him leavemade it feel likemy chest split rightopen.
âWhatthehell?âTinkasked.Iturnedtohim,blinkingbackthesuddenrushofhot,stupidtears.Icursed
myself. I hadnât planned to exclude Ren from this conversation. I just hadnâtexpectedtoseehimsoIâdwastedpreciousmomentsstandingtherelikeanidiot.
OperationGetYourShitTogetherwasofftoawonderfulstart.Itookadeepbreath.âCanwestepoutintothehall?ââYeah.âAfrownmarredTinkâsfeatures.âSure.âItookthefewsecondstoputmyselfbacktogether.Ineededtofocusandnot
beonthevergeofcrying.âWhatâs upwith you andRen?â he asked themomentwewere out in the
hallway.âAreyouthereasonhenearlyknockedmyheadoffthismorningwhen
Itoldhimhelookedlikeshit?Becausetheboydidlooklikehewasrodehardandputawaywet.â
Istopped,crossingmyarms.âIdonâtevenwanttoknowwhatthatmeans.ââWell,itmeansgettingfuâââTink,âIsnapped.âIdidnâtaskyoutocomeoutheretotalkaboutRen.ââButIwanttotalkabouthim.Youguysbarelyspoketoeachotherinthere.
Thatâsweird.âItookadeepbreath.âIknow.Wehadafightlastnight,butitâllbeokay.Itâll
befine.ââWhat?âConcernflashedacrosshisface.âLikeabigfight?Orasmallone?
OhmyGod,areyoutwobreakingup?WhowillIlivewith?ââWhowillyoulivewith?âIgapedupathim.âYouârenottwelveandyouâre
notourkid.ââButIneedtobetakencareof.Loved.IneedaccesstoAmazonPrime.ââThengetajob,Tink.Youlookhumanenoughtodoit.ââA job?âAbsolute horror filled his face. âThe loss of bloodmustâve done
somethingtoyourbrainbecauseyouâreoutofyourmind.ââOkay. This conversation has veered off into very pointless territory.
Everything is fine.Movingon.â I struggled to remainpatient.âLook, IhaveacoupleofquestionsIwanttoaskyouaboutthePrince.â
A faewalkingnearus stoppedandgasped.Her silvery skin turnedapalershadeofgray.
GrabbingTinkâsarm,Ipulledhimintoanearbyroom.Itwassmall,withjustaroundtableandtwochairs.âTakeaseat.â
Tink sauntered over to the one furthest from the door and dropped down,stretchingouthislonglegs.âBeinginherewithyoufeelsnaughty.â
IshookmyheadasIclosedthedoorbehindme.âThereâssomethingwrongwithyou.â
Hegrinned.âIcouldsaythesamethingaboutyou.ââTouche,âImuttered,sittingdownacrossfromhim.âButletâsanalyzeeach
otherlater.YouoncetoldmethatkillingthePrincewasimpossible,butnothingisimpossible.â
Tinktossedanarmoverthebackofhischair.âWell,yeahtechnicallyitâsnotimpossible.â
âRight.âIrestedmyarmsonthetable.âWeknowathornstakewillweakenanAncientââ
âSoyoucanchoptheirheadoff,âhefinishedforme.âYoucandothesamewiththePrince,butasyouknowfirsthand,evencuttinghimwithastakeisnâteasy.â
âNo, itâsnot.âThePrincehadwhippedmyasseachtimeweâdfought,andthe last time Iâd had a thorn stake. âSo the only way to kill the Prince is toweakenhimenoughtofighthim.â
Tinknoddedslowly.âOkay,sotherehastobesomethingouttherethatweakenshim,right?That
willmakeiteasiertokillhim.ââYeah.Athornstake.âHesquinted.âButyoualreadyknowthat.âItappedmyfingersonthetable.âTherehastobesomethingelsethatdoesnât
requiregoingtoetotoewithhim.Ineedyoutothinkaboutthis,Tink.âHisheadtilted.âIhavethoughtaboutthis.ââThink hard,â I insisted. âI need you to really think about it. Maybe itâs
somethingsmall.Maybenot.YouwereintheOtherworldwhilethePrincewasthere.Maybeyousawsomethingâheardsomething.â
Hisnosewrinkled.âTheonlythingIsawwashimfeedingandscrewing.Alot.Iheardalotofmoansandscreams.Notpain-filledscreams.Youknow,thePrincewasalwaysadick,butnotasbigofadickasheisnow.Oh!Maybesexisaweaknessforhim.â
Mybrowslifted.Heraisedashoulder.âProbablynot. Imean,asmuchashewasdoing it, I
doubteditweakenedhim.Probablygavehimstrength.Likeeverytimehecame,hepowereduplikeMarioââ
âAll right, letâsmoveonfromthewholesex thing.â Iwasgoing toneedaBrilloPadformybrainlater.
Hekickedahugefootuponthetable.âWhyareyouevenaskingaboutthis?IthoughtsomefaewerecomingthatcouldhelplocatetheCrystal?â
âTheyare,butIâmtryingtoplanaheadincasetheydonâtfindtheCrystal,âIexplained.âPlus,weâregoingtohavetogethisblood.Noneofthatisgoingtobeeasywhenfightinghimincombatisnearlyimpossible.â
BeforeTinkcouldrespond,thedoorswungopenwithoutwarning,revealingFaye.âOurvisitorsarehere.â
Chapter13
Tink and I followedFaye down the hall, towardTannerâs office,which Iwasguessingwasnowtheofficialmeetingplace.IhadnoideawhereRenwas,ifhewasalready in the room,orcoming. Ididnât likehowseparatewewere,but Itabledthatproblemtodealwithlater.
MyhandbrushedthedaggeratmyhipasFayestoppedinfrontofTannerâsoffice.Hergazefollowedmyhand.âOurguestmeansyounoharm.â
Notinghowguestswentfrompluraltosingular,Iglancedatthedoor.âIâllbethejudgeofthat.â
âCanâtblameher for that,âTinkchimed in, foldinghis longarmsoverhischest.
Herlasheslowered.âNo.Icannot.âTherewasasmallpause.âHowareyoufeeling,Ivy?â
âFine.âThelookonherfacesaidshedidnâtquitebelieveme,butshedidnâtpushit.
Turning, she opened the door, and having no idea what to expect, I slowlyfollowedherin.
âHolyyummyinmytummy,âTinkmurmured,stoppingbehindme.Iknewimmediatelywhathadprovokedhisreaction.Sittinginoneofthewingbackchairswasastrangerwholookedlikea . . .
well,aViking.Not thehistoricallyaccuratekind,but like theones thatgracedtheoldromancecoversI read.Hewastallandbroad,his thighswideandliketree trunks. His hair was a gloriousmane of blonde waves, reaching far pastshouldersthatstretchedtheplainwhiteT-shirthewore.
Thestrangerwasstunninglybeautifulandhewasdefinitelynoordinaryfae.The fae had the air of an Ancient, one of the most dangerous fae. Up untilrecently,weâdbelievedthattherewerenoAncientfaeleftinourworld.
Wemusthavebeenwrong.IhadafeelingweâdbeenliedtobytheOrder.Buttherewassomethinguncomfortablyfamiliarabout thisfaeâsfeaturesâ
about the angular cheekbones and expressive mouth. It was the brow, too.Somethingabouthisfaceandhisshaperemindedme...
Achillrandownmyspine.HelookedlikeDrakeâawarmerversionoftheWinterPrince.Iglancedat
Faye,butshelookedunperturbedasshetookaseatonthecouchbythewindow.
She had to see the similarities.Awarning that the stranger could pass for thecousinofDrakewouldâvebeennice.
Airstirredaroundmyleftarm.Myheadwhippedtotheside.Renwasthere,as quiet as a damn ghost. Our gazes met, and my heart stuttered. Breakingcontact, he focused on the stranger. The only emotion he showed was thetighteningofhisjaw.
DidheseewhatIsaw?âWho is this?â thestrangerdemanded, staringatme likean insectundera
microscope.Tanner rose frombehind thedesk, but before he could introduceme,Tink
steppedforward,comingtostandnexttome.âSheâsBuffywiththebadhair.âSlowly,Iturnedandlookedupathim.âBuffywiththebadhair?âHenoddedeagerly,glancingatthestranger.âYeah,likeitâsacombinationof
BuffyandBeyonce,thetwogreatestfemalesofalltime.YouârelikeBuffy.Badass.ButyouârenotBeckywith thegoodhair.Youhavebadhair.Weallknowthat.â
Istaredathim.âMyhairisnâtthatbad.ââOh,itâsbad.âTinkâseyesglimmered.âYoudefinitelyarenâtaBecky.ââI think itâs a compliment tonotbe aBecky,âRenchimed in, andwhen I
looked over at him, amusement danced in his eyes. âBut Iâm pretty sure thatbeingaBeckyisnâtjustabouthair.â
Ihatedallofthem.Seriously.Thestrangerliftedhischinandthenrose,hisnostrilsflaring.âYouâretheone
whobelongstotheWinterPrince.âWait.What?Rentensed.Didhereallyjustsaythat?Hearing that ranked rightup therewithhearingyouhadair cabinpressure
issueswhileonaplane,thirty-some-thousandfeetinthesky.âIdonâtbelongtohim.âOneblondeyebrowrose.âYouaretheHalfling.ââAndyouareafaefivesecondsawayfromgettingthroatpunched.âHe chuckled a low, soft, almost sensual sound. âIs that how you greet
someonewhoisheretohelpyou?ââYoudemandtoknowwhoIamandthentellmethatIbelongtoDrakeââThefaehissedâbaredsharpteethandactuallyhissed.Mybrowsliftedashis
lipcurledindistaste.âDonotspeakhisname.ââWhy?HeâsnotVoldemort.â
âVoldemort?âConfusionfilledhisexpression.Istaredathimforamomentandthenshookmyhead.âNevermind.Whoare
you?âThefaeinclinedhishead.âIamFabian.âTheairaroundhimshimmeredlike
ahundredfireflieshadtakenflight.âPrinceFabianoftheSummerCourt.âMymouthdroppedopen.PrinceFabian?FayeandTannersureashellhadnât
mentionedthatoneofourguestswasaprince.Aprince.Aprincethatcouldimpregnateahalfling.Isuckedinasharpbreath.RenrealizedthesametimeIdid,becausehewassuddenlybesideme.âRelax,âFabiansaid.âIhavenointerestinginimpregnatingyou.âIblinked.Wellthen,thatwasonebluntwayofputtingit.âIamhappytohearthat.âTinkâssmileremindedmeofwhenitwasPrime
DayonAmazon.Tannerclearedhisthroat.âIâmsorry.Iknowthismustcomeasashockthat
ourguestisaprince.ââDamnrightitâsashock,âRengrowled.âYouneveroncementionedthatwe
werewaitingonanotherdamnprince.ââOrthatourguestswerereallyjustaguest,âIadded.âIdidnottravelalone,âFabianexplained,sittingdown.âMyconsulsarenot
neededinthismeeting.Theyareresting.ââConsuls.Howfancy,âImuttered.TheSummerPrincecockedhishead.Fayeshiftedinthebeamofsunlightstreaminginthroughthewindow.âWe
didnotknowFabianwouldcome.WeassumedhewouldsendâââHisconsul.Gotit,âIcutin.âIdidnâtknowthattherewasstillaprinceof
theSummerCourt,aliveandwell.ââUpuntilrecently,youdidnâtknowtheSummerCourtstillexisted,âTanner
gently remindedme, his tone level. Hewas right.Weâd believed that the faecourtshadbeendismantled.Obviously,weâdbeenwrongorliedto.âOurCourthad all been destroyed in thewarwithWinter. The safety and location of theremainingroyalsisnotsomethingwetakelightly.Forgiveusfornottellingyousuch,butourPrincehasnointerestinfulfillingtheprophecy.â
âEvenifIwas,youwouldnâtbemytype.âFabianleanedback,foldingonelegovertheother.âUnliketheWinterPrince,myobligationtoourworldisnotworthloweringmyselftobreedwithahalfling.â
Wow.
Iwasrelievedtohearthat,butIwasalsokindofoffended.HemadeitsoundlikeIwasastinky,single-celledorganism.
âThatâsgoodtoknow.âRenleanedagainstthewall,appearingrelaxed,butIknewbetter.Hewascoiledtight.âForgiveusfornotrollingouttheredcarpet.We donât exactly have the best impression of Otherworld princes, especiallysinceyoulookliketheWinterPrince.â
There.ThankGodIwasnâttheonlyoneseeingit.Fabianfrowned.âIlooknothinglikethatbastard.ââWell,âIdrewthewordout,âyes,youkindofdo.Doesnâthe,Faye?âShenodded.âIseearesemblance.ââIâveseentheWinterPrince.âTinkfrowned.âHedoesnâtlooklikehim.âIshookmyhead.âThehaircolorisdifferent.Someofthefaceis,butyeah..
.hedoes.ââIdonâtknow,âTinkmused,hisbrowknittedtogether.TheSummerPrinceâsgazelandedonTink,thelookappraising.âAbrownie.
Ihavenâtseenoneofyourkindinoverahundredyears.âTinksmiledwidely.âAndyouâveneverseenabrownielikeme.âIrolledmyeyes.âYouâllhaveplentyoftimetostrokeTinkâsegolaterâââAndhopefullyotherparts,âFabianrepliedsmoothly.Ohdear.Renchokedonwhatsoundedlikealaugh.âYeah,sure.Um,okay.So,youâreaprince.Howmanyoftheroyalcourtare
here,inourworld,anddoallofthemfeelthesamewayasyou?ââAs in having no interest in ever seeing you naked enough to have
intercourse?âheasked.Myeyesnarrowed.Jesus.âYeah.That.Thanksforputtingitsokindly.ââThoseof thecourt thatarestillalive,andtherearefew,havenodesire to
fulfilltheprophecy.JustasTannerstated.WecameheretoescapeWinterâsrule,toliveoutourlives.Weunderstandwhathispresencewilldotothisworld.Hewilldestroyit,justlikeheandhisQueenhavedonetoourworld.â
âQueen?âRenasked.âMab?âIturnedtoTink,recallinghowhealwayssaidhername.Tinkâs eyes widened. âMab picked no sides. Sheâs neither Winter nor
Summer.SheâsnotaspettyasTitaniaorMorgana.ââWait. I thought theywereall the samepersonwith justdifferentnames?â
Rensaid.I thought thesame,because thatwaswhat theOrderhad taughtus.Plus, I
was pretty sureMorgana was completely fictional, a part of the King Arthurtales.
Fabiansnickered.âIfyoubelievethat,thenwhoarewetocorrectyou?âGod,hewassohelpful.âTheirnameshavebeeninterchangeablethroughouttheyears,replacingone
anotherinvariousmyths.âTannersatdown,restingonearmonthedesk.âButthose aremyths.The truth is that they are not one and the same.Our politicshaveneverbeenrepresentedaccuratelyinthelegendsmortalshavespun.â
Rengavealittleshakeofhishead.âDoyouthinkaQueenisalsohere?ââWedonotknowifanyQueenhascometothisworld,âFayeanswered.âLet
ushopethatonehasnât.Thatisacomplicationthatnoneofusneed.âMyheadwasspinning.âButwhatifoneofthemhas?ââQueen Morgana sided with Winter during the war. She became their
Queen.âFabianâslipcurledindisgust.âIfshehascrossedovertothisworld,Iwillpersonallyripthespinefromherback.â
Iliftedmybrows.âShe killedmy brother during theGreatWar and refused us the honor of
buryinghisbody.âThePrinceâseyesburnedwithunholylightfromwithin.âSheis,howdoyouhumansputit?Theworst?â
âSoundsaboutright.âRenunfoldedhisarms.âDowehaveanyevidencethatsheoranyQueenisinvolvedinthis?â
âNo,âFayeanswered.âIâvebeenwiththePrince.IhavenotseenMorganaoranyotherQueen.â
âWould you even know whatMorgana looks like?â Fabian twisted in hischair.âSheisthequeenofmanyfacesandhasperfectedtheartoftreachery.Itwould take a royal to recognize that bitch.â He paused. âOr coincidentally, abrownie.TheirabilitytoseethrougheventhestrongestglamourwasoneofthereasonstheWinterCourthuntedthemdown.â
Inherhumanform,asheenofdullnesssettledoverFayeâsdarkskinandshelookeddown.
âHowwouldwekillherifshewerehere?âIasked.âThe sameway youwould kill any of us,â the Summer Prince answered.
âDecapitation.âThe line of questioning brought me back to my earlier conversation with
Tink.âButshewouldobviouslyneedtobeweakened.ThesamewithDrake.âIignoredthewayhislipsthinned.âHowdoweweakenoneofyouenoughtogotoetotoe?â
The roomquietedasFabianeyedme fromwherehesat. âAndwhywouldyouwanttoknowhowtoweakenaroyal?â
Imethisburninggaze.âTokillDrake.Duh.ââI thought you needed help finding the Crystal?â Fabian leaned forward,
placingbothfeetonthefloor.ItwasthenthatIrealizedheworenoshoes.Odd.âNotwithkillingtheWinterPrince.â
âWedoneedhelpfindingtheCrystal.âTannerâsgazebouncedbetweenus.âIvywascapturedbythePrinceatonepoint.Sheâsunderstandablya little . . .murderouswhenitcomestohim.â
âSheâsnottheonlyone,âRenthrewout.âIâmnotalittlemurderous,âIclarified.âIâmalotmurderous.ââYouthinkIwouldtellyouhowtoweakentheWinterPrince?Whichwould
meanyouâdknowhowtoweakenme?âFabianchuckled.âYouârefoolish.âSteeldrippedintomyspineasIsteppedforward.âYouwantustotrustyou
blindly and yet you will not do the same? We have no reason to use thisknowledgeagainstyou.IonlywanttokillthePrince,becauseIâllbedamnedifIspendweeksormonthsortherestofmylifelookingovermyshoulderforhim,wonderingifanyoneIknowissafebecauseheâllusethemtogettome.â
Fabiansmirkedashisicygazelandedonme.âYousillylittlegirl.Youspeakasifyouâreaspecialsnowflake,uniqueandoneofakind.â
Rensnortedfromwherehestood.I shot Ren a death glare before glaring at Fabian. âYou donât know who
Voldemort is, but you knowwhat special snowflakemeans? I call bullshit onthat.â
Fabiancockedhishead to the side. âOnealwaysknowswhen theymeet aspecialsnowflake.â
âYeah, and those calling others snowflakes are historically the actualsnowflake.â
âSticks and stones,âFabianmurmured. âOr I am rubber andyou are glue.Whateveryousaybouncesoffmeandstickstoyou.â
Mymouthdroppedopen.OhmyGod,itwaslikehavingaconversationwitharuderTink.
Who,by theway,waspracticallyshimmyingwithexcitementashe leanedin,whisperingintomyear.âIlikethisguy.Ireallylikehim.CanIkeephim?â
TheSummerPrince heard him, and interest sparked in his pale blue eyes.âIâveneverbeenkeptbyabrowniebefore,but...Iâveheardthings.Interestingthings.â
Isoneededanadultrightnow,buttheadultswereallstaringattheceiling,pretendinglikealiveversionofFaeTinderwasnâtgoingdownrightinfrontofus.
Tinkstraightened.âDotell.âFabiansteppedtowardus.âIsittruethatabrownieâscoâââOkay,âRensteppedin,apparentlytoTannerâsreliefbythelookonhisface.
âLetâs get back on topic. You were talking about how Ivy isnât a specialsnowflake.â
Dearmountainmomma,Iwastwosecondsfromlaunchingmydaggeracrossthe room and stabbing the Summer Prince in his eye, punching Tink, andthrowingRenoutthewindow.
âAll right,Fabio,â I snapped. âCan you get past the insulting me part tosayingsomethingactuallyhelpful?Foronce?â
Hisfairbrowsknitted.âAreyoudense?MynameisnotFabio.ItâsFabian.âI rolled my eyes. âWhatever.â I didnât have the patience to explain who
Fabiowas.âJustsaywhatyouneedtosay.âThe Summer Princeâs smirk grew. âThe Prince has found another halfling
andheâsleftNewOrleans,takingtheCrystalwithhim.â
Chapter14
AllhellbrokeloosearoundmewhileIjuststoodthere,inthecenteroftheroomstaring at theSummerPrince.Fayewas standing and sowasTanner.Renhadmovedforward,askingquestions,butIdidnâthearwhathewassaying.Tinkwascalm,though.Sortof.HewaseyeballingFabioagain,inthewayRenlookedatmewhenheactuallylikedme.
But I . . . Iwas just so shocked I couldnât thinkpastmy roilingemotions.Onestoodout.Relief.Itcoursedthroughmeinwaves,leavingmedizzy.
ThePrincewouldnâtbelookingforme.Renwassafe.SowasTink.Iwassafe.Well,assafeasanyofuswere,butDrakewasnâtgunningformeanymore.Mythroatthickenedastearsrushedmyeyes.All of that probablymeant somethingwaswrongwithme. Imean,Drake
was still out there bound and determined to knock up some poor, randomhalfling,buthewasnâtcomingafterme.
A laugh bubbled up my throat, but I squelched it before it escaped as Iblinkedbacktearsofrelief.Noonewouldunderstand.
Iwas such a terrible person, but I couldnât help it.Weight lifted frommyshoulders.WestillhadtodealwithDrake,butI...Ifeltfree.
âI thoughttheElitehadkilledall thehalflings?âTannerâsvoiceroseabovethenoise,drawingmyattention.
âTheElite hashunteddowneveryhalfling theyâvebeen able todiscover,âRen answered, and I flinched, knowing that Iwas one of them. âThat doesnâtmeantheygotallthehalflingsinthewholeworld.ThePrinceisobviouslybetteratfindingthemthanwewere.â
âIdonâtknowifthatâstruesinceyouguysprobablykilledawholecraptonofthem,âTinkpointedout.
Ren shot him a dark glare before turning to Fabian. âHow do you knowthis?â
âJustastheWinterPrincehashadscoutsoutlookingforpossiblehalflings,weâve had our own eyes on them.âFabian yawned, appearing boredwith thiswholeconversation.âHeandhisconsullefttwodaysago.â
Twodaysago?WhileIwaspassedoutbecausesomefaetriedtomurderme
becausetheythoughtthePrincewashere?Anothernearhystericallaughstarteddeepinmybelly.
âYou had no idea that theywere scouting for other halflings?âRen askedFaye.
âIknowValorwanted thePrince to look foranother,but as far as Iknow,theywerenât actively seekingone.âDisbelief coloredher tone.At somepoint,sheâdlostherhumanform.âWheredidhego?â
Fabian stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankles. âThatwe donâtknow.â
âYou apparently know everything else, but you donât know this?â Idemanded.
âYes.âHisgazeflickeredtome.âThatisexactlywhatIâmsaying.Itwastoomuchofariskformyspiestofollow.â
Whatever relief Iâd feltwhen I discovered thatDrakewouldnât be lookingformebegantofade.âThenheandthisHalflingcouldbeanywhere.â
Heliftedashoulderinanelegantshrug.âThischangeseverything,âFayesaid,sittingbackdownheavily,lackingher
normalgrace.âIknewnothingofthescoutsorthatheâdbeabletofindanotherhalflingthisquickly.â
âItdoesnâtchangeanything.âAlleyesfocusedonme.WhatIsaidwastrue.Everythingchangedforme,butwestillhadthesamemissionâamoreurgent,desperateonenow.âWeneedtofindhim,puthimbackwherehebelongs,orkillhim.â
Renwhirledonme.âAreyououtofyourmind?ââExcuseme?ââYou donât need to do anything but keep your pretty little ass here,â he
announcedlikehedidnâthaveadeathwish.âThePrincemightbeon thehuntforanotherhalfling,butyouârestillahalfling,Ivy.â
âNoshit,â I spatback.âButonly Iget tosaywheremyassgets togoanddoesnâtgo.â
Hiseyesflaredadeepshadeofgreen.âIfheâsnothere,thereâsnoreasonforyoutogoafterhim.Thesmartestandsafestthingisforyoutostayhere.â
âAndwhat?Youâregoingtogoafterhim?âHisjawtightened.âThatismyjob.ââAnditâsmyjobtoo!âTinklightlytouchedmyarm.âHehasapoint,Ivy.âHenarrowedhiseyesat
Ren.âHeâsreallybadatmakingsaidpoint,buthedoeshaveapoint.ââThanks,âRenbitoutbeforetakingadeepbreath.âLook,Igetthatitâsyour
dutytoo,butyouârestillatrisk.Hecouldturnhisattentionbacktoyou.â
Foldingmyarms,Icockedmyhipout,movingintothestandardpissedoffstance. âAnd I get itâs your duty, but you do realize the onlyway the Princecontrolsmeisthroughyourass,right?â
Rensteppedback,hisspinegoingrigid.âYeah.Letthatsinkin,buddy.âIwasonaroll.Nostoppingnow.âYougo
out there,and ifhedoesnâtkillyou,heâllcaptureyou.Usingyou togetmetoagreetothingsisprobablyaloteasierthanconvincingsomerandomhalflingtohavesexwithhim.â
âActually,âFayecutin,âiftheHalflingdoesnâtknowwhatsheisandwhatheis,itwouldnâtbehardatall.One-nightstandshappenallthetime.â
Tannersatdownheavily.âThisisbad.ââItâsstilltooriskyforyoutogo.âRenignoredthem.âNottryingtobeanass
aboutit,butthefurtherawayyouare,thebetter.ââSo, Iâm supposed to sit around and dowhat exactly? Tend to the garden
outside?Maybetakeupknittingclasses?ââAtleastthenyouâredoingsomething.âOnesideofhislipskickedup.âIdle
handsarethedevilâsplayground,orsotheysay.âIwasgoingtohithim.Seriously.âIâmabouttoshovetheseidlehandssofarupyourass,youâllthinkyouâve
becomeapuppet.ââYouknowwhat?âRenleanedforward,loweringhisvoice.âImightactually
enjoythat.âMybodyflushedoutofangerandsomethingtotallydifferent.Iignoredthe
latter,gettingrightupinRenâsface.âIâmnotstayingbehind,Ren.Notgoingtohappen.â
âYouâre impossible to reason with.â Shaking his head, he thrust his handthroughhishair.âIsweartoGod.â
âStopfighting,âTinksaid,dancingbackandforthbetweenus.âItmakesmeanxious.â
âItmakesmewishIhadpopcorn,âFabianadded.IspunontheSummerPrince.âWhyareyouevenhere?Youcamefromwho
knowswhereâââFlorida,âhesupplied.âFigures,âRenmutteredunderhisbreath.âYou came here just to tell us that Drake had left? You couldnât, I donât
know,phonethatpieceofknowledgein?âTannersighedfrombehindthedesk.âYoustillneedme.âHethreadedhisfingerstogether.âAfterall,howdoyou
plantofindtheCrystal?OrtheWinterPrincewhenwedonâtknowwhereheâsgone?Evenifwedodiscoverthat,hewillbesmarter,hidinghispresence.Wewillbeabletosenseoneanother,buthewillnotknowIâmworkingwithyou.â
âWouldhetrulythinkthataprinceofacourtheâshelpederadicateisinthesame city as him to joinhim for dinner?âRendemanded, bringingup a goodpoint.
AmusclethrummedalongFabianâsjaw.âTheWinterPrincewillnotseemeasathreat.Ifanything,heâlljustbecurious.âHisgazeslidtome.âThatwillbehisweakness.â
Meeting theSummerPrinceâsgazehead-on, Ihadafeeling thatwasnât theonlyweaknesstolearn.
âNone of that trulymatters ifwe donât knowwhere thePrince has gone.âFayeliftedherhands.âWecansithereandargueoverwhoisleavingandwhoisstaying,butnoneofthatmatters.Wehavenoideawherehewent.â
âThatâsanothergoodpoint,âTinkchimedin.Those around me started speculating, but that was all they could do.
Speculate.Whichmeant nothing.We couldnât chase false leads or suspicions.Wedidnâthavethetime.Weneededtofindsomeonewhoâdknowâ
Thenithitme.âIknowwhowouldprobablyknowwhereDrakehasgone,âIsaid,andall
eyes turned tome. âMarlonâMarlon St. Cyers. The developer in the city?â Iadded when everyone continued to stare at me. âHeâs an Ancient who wasworkingcloselywithDrake.Hemayknowwherehewent.â
TannerturnedtoFaye.âDoyouthinkthatâspossible?ThatDrakewouldâvetrustedhimenoughwiththatinformation?â
âTheywereclose,soitâspossible.âExcitementsparkedinherpaleeyes.âItâsworthcheckingout.â
âThenthatâswhatweâlldo.âResolvefilledme.âWeâllfindMarlonandweâllmakesurehetalks.â
Chapter15
Themeetingsortoffellapartafterthat.Tannerwantedeveryonetoâcalmdownandgainperspectiveâbeforewespokeof leaving to searchdownMarlon.Renshotmealookthattoldmeourconversationâer,argumentâwasnâtoverbeforehe stalked out of the room. Prince Fabian rose fluidly, and when I saw heâdzeroed in on Tink, I made my way out into the hallway. Ren had alreadydisappeared.
Faye followed, andwhen I glanced over at her, there was nomissing thetensionliningherface.âAreyouokay?â
âYeah.â Faye nodded, but she still looked a little ill. âItâs just somethingFabian said about QueenMorgana. How I wouldnât recognize her if Iâd seenher.âDrawinginadeepbreath,shereachedup,tuckingherhairbehindanear.âJust the possibility of being near her without knowing makes me feel as ifsomeonehaswalkedovermygrave.â
Mybrowslifted.âSheâsthatbad?âFaye stopped, facing me. âWhat has been told about her spun in tales to
entertain children are just that. Tales.â She gave a little shake of her head.âStoriesof her brutality areonlywhispered among theoldest of our kind, hercrueltymosthorrendous.Shehascommittedsuchgrievouscrimes,herabilitytocreatelifewasstrippedfromher.Inaway,sheâsourboogeyman,somethingweall fear. Her hatred of the Summer Court is only surpassed by her hatred ofhumans.âFayelookedaway,swallowinghard.âIfsheisinvolved,thedoorwaystotheOtherworldopeningwouldbetheleastofourworries.â
AfterthesomewhatcreepyconversationwithFaye,ItriedtofindRenbecauseIwasmore than ready for round twoof our argument. I knew Iâd hurt him thenightbefore,butthatdidnâtchangethefacthehadabsolutelynorighttotrytotellmewhatIcoulddo.
Unfortunately,hewasmissinginaction,whichwasdisappointingbecauseitmademewanttoyellathimmore.
I likedyellingathim, actually. Itmademe feel . . . normal.And thatwaskindofmessedup,butwhatever.
Sincehewasnowheretobefound,Ididthenextbestthing.Iheadedtothegym, but I didnât go into the roomwith the treadmills. Iwent for the smaller
room,theonewiththickmatscoveringthefloorandapunchingbag.ThatâswhereIspenttherestoftheday,goingthrougholdtrainingsessions
withmyself, likeIwassixteenagain.Afewmonthsago,Iwouldâvebalkedatthe notion that I needed to practice evasive techniques or groundwork, but Iknewbetternow.IneededallthepracticeIcouldget,especiallyifIplannedonfacingtheWinterPrinceagain.
Itwouldâvebeennicetohaveapartnerthough.Imovedontothepunchingbag,workingwiththeirondagger.Ididnâtjabas
hardasIcould,becauseIdoubtedthefaeherewouldâveappreciatedabagfullofcuts,butIpickedupspeedasthenowtoofamiliarsensationsimmeredtolifeinmy stomach. It remindedme of gnawing hunger, but it was a craving, thesamekindIimaginedanaddictwentthrough.Itwasnowherenearasbadasithadbeenbefore,butitwasstillthere,ashadowinsideme.
Sweatwasdrippingintomyeyeswhenthedooropenedandaburstoffreshairenteredtheroom.Yankingthebladeoutof thebag,IspunaroundandsawBrighton.
Shewasstandingjustinsidethedoor,onehandcurledaroundtheendsofherponytail.âSorry.Ididnâtmeantointerrupt.â
âItâs okay.â Swiping an arm over my forehead, I sheathed the dagger.âWhatâsup?â
âIwasjustroamingaround.Sawthatyouwereinhere.âShenoddedatthesmallwindow in thedoor.âIhavenât seenyousince . . .well, sinceyouwereattacked.Youseemtobedoingwell.â
âIam.IwouldsayIâmlucky,butIguessbeingpart fae iswhyIâmokay.âThosewordsrolledoffmytongueeasier thanI thought theyeverwould.âThewholefeedingthingsavedmylife.â
âThatâswhatIheard.MindifIsitorisitadistraction?ââSit.âIshrugged.âIâmdoneanyway.âShe pulled out one of the middle chairs and unfolded it. âHow are you
handlingeverything?Thewholefeedingthing?âI started to tell her that I was doing fine, but thatâs not what I said. âI
honestlydonâtknow.âIwalkedovertowhereshesat.âImean,Iâmhappytobealive,butknowingwhatIdidtobeheredoesnâtsitright.â
Shelookedupatme.âIcanunderstandthat.âLooking away, I bit down onmy lip. âDo you knowwhat Ren and Tink
did?âTherewasabeatofsilence.âIheard theymadeFayeuseacompulsionon
you.ââTheydid.Iwassoangrywiththem,but....â
âYouârenotanymore?ââIstillam.âExhaling roughly, I satdownon themat in frontofher.âAnd
Iâmalsonot.Igetwhytheydidit.Iappreciateit,butIâmnotokaywithit.âShe folded her arms in her lap. âI guess the question is, can you forgive
them?ââIalreadyhave,âIsaid,andthatwastheGodâshonesttruth.âIkindofhad
to,youknow?BecauseIwouldâvedonethesamethingtosavethem.âAfaintsmilepulledatBrightonâslips.âWell,Iâmgladyouârestillalive.âIwonderedifhermomtrulyfeltthesame.Thenagain,itreallydidnâtmatter.
âMe too.Anyway.â I leanedbackonmyhands.âDidyouhearanythingaboutourvisitors?â
Brighton widened her eyes as she nodded. âYeah. Freaking unbelievable.Anotherprince?Andhalfling?âHershoulderstightened.âThefuckingOrderhasliedtousfromdayone.â
I couldnât help it. I squelched a laugh, but she cursed, and I couldnâtrememberhearinghercursebefore.
âImean,nearlyeverythingwethoughttobetrueturnedoutnottobe.âHerlipsthinned.âWhatelsedowethinkweknowthatisnâttrue?â
âGod.Itcouldbeanything.ButtherehastobeareasonwhytheydidnâttellusabouttheSummerfaeortheroyalcourts.âIstretchedoutmylegs.âAnddoestheOrderevenknowthePrincehasleft?â
âIhavenoclue,andat thispoint, itâsa risk toevenreachout to themandfindout.âShesatback.âButweâregoingtohaveto.Onceweget theCrystal,weâllneedtheirhelpopeningthegates.â
âOrwekillthePrince.âIignoredhergaspofsurprise.âWeâdprobablyneedtheOrderforthattoo,consideringweâdneedallthehelpwecanget.â
Brighton then pointed out the obvious. âKilling the Prince is almostimpossible.â
âAlmost impossible,â I stressed. âHe has to have a weakness other thanhavinganego,andtheSummerPrinceknowswhatweakensthem.âIwrinkledmy nose. âI kind of understandwhy hewouldnât be so forthcomingwith thatinfo,butifwecanweakenhim,wecanprobablykillhim.â
She appeared to consider that. âThen we just have the other princes andprincesses to worry about, right? Because who knows how many from theSummerCourtarehere?â
Isnorted.âRight?Weârejustsupposedtobelievethatallofthemareliveandlet live hippie fae?â Something occurred to me. âAnd I seriously doubt theSummerPrinceisnâtfeeding.Thepowerpracticallydrippedoffhim.â
âIthinkââThedoortotheroomopened,revealingTink.Hehadcompany.
âMerleandcrewwerelookingforyou.âHesteppedaside.âToldthemyouwereprobablyhereorthelibrary,soIdecidedtobetheirescortbecauseIâmcoollikethat.âHeglancedatBrightonandthenwavedather.âHi!â
Brightonseemedtosinkintothechairasshemurmured,âHello.âHeturnedawayfromus.âIalsofoundyourdaughter.Iamsohelpful.âIarchedabrowasIlookedaroundhim.StandingbehindMerlewasTanner.
Neitherlookedhappy.I pushed off my hands, sitting up straight. I figured they were ready to
discusstheplanstofindandquestionMarlon.âWhatâsup?âMerlestormedintotheroom.Somethingmetaldangledfromherhand.Wait.
Werethose...handcuffs?âRentoldus.âAchillsweptthroughme.âToldyouwhat?âTinkfrownedashisgazesweptoverus.Merleâseyeswerelikeglaciersofice.âIvyâsplanningtorun.â
Chapter16
For a good, long second, Iwas too shockedby the fact thatRenhad actuallyrattedmeouttohavemuchofareaction.
Holycrap,heâdactuallygonetoMerleandTanner?Iwasgoingtopuntkickhimintonextweek!âWhat?âTink shouted, his voice echoing off thewalls of the small room.
âYouâregoingtorun?ââNotanymore.âMerleliftedthehandcuffs.Thepurposeof thehandcuffs registeredwithsuddenclarity. I launchedoff
thefloor.âYouâregoingtohandcuffme?Areyououtofyourmind?âMerleâsgrip tightenedon thehandcuffs. âMymind is as sharp as a fiddle,
girl.âSharpasafiddle?Thatdidnâtevenmakesense.Whatever.She tookastep
towardme,andmyhandflewtomydagger.âIfyoucomeoneinchclosertome,youâllfindoutthatthisdaggerissharperthanafiddle.â
âIvy,âBrightongasped,risingfromherchair.Merleheldstill.âYouwereplanningtorunoffâââIwasplanning to leavewhenI thought thePrincewasstillhere,which is
totallymychoice.âMyfingerstightenedaroundthehandleofthedagger.âButallofthatisamootpointnow,isnâtit?â
âThatâswhatItriedtoexplaintoMerle.âTanner,everthemediator,stoodtomyright.
âItâs still dangerous. Doesnât matter if heâs found another halfling toimpregnate or not.âMerle liftedher chin. âWedonât need Ivy running aroundout there, too. LikeRen said earlier, she needs to stay here,where the Princeisnât.â
Istruggledtokeepmyvoiceeven.âFirstoff,ifIwanttoleavehere,Iwill.Noone isgoing tokeepmehereagainstmywill. Iâvealreadybeendownthatroadandhavethebaggagetoproveit.Iâmnotgoingforaroundtwo.â
Merleopenedhermouth,butTannerplacedahandonherarm,silencingher.âThatistrue.Wearenotholdingheragainstherwill.Shecanwalkoutofherewhenevershepleases.â
I appreciated his support, but I wasnât done. âSecondly, youâre seriouslyoverreactingatthispoint.âMusclesinmynecktensedup.âWhenIlearnedthatthe Prince could get through the glamour here, I did plan on leaving. My
presenceherewastoomuchofariskformetolivewith,andIdonâtgiveafuckifyouagreewiththatornot.â
Merleâseyeswidenedslightly.âBut I agreed to stay until the guests got here.None of thatmatters now.
Drakehasfoundanotherhalfling,andwhilethatâsahellofarelief,thatdoesnâtmeanmydutyhasceased toexist.âWhenshestarted tospeakagain, Icutheroff.âYoureallydonotwanttohavethatargumentwithme.Seriously.Becauseyouarenâtgoingtowin.â
Sheclampedherjawshut.âMom,âBrightonbeganquietly.âYoucannotseriouslyhandcuffIvy.Thatâs
notright.ââSometimeswhatisnecessaryisnâtalwayswhatisright,âsherepliedcoldly.Iignoredthatdeepstatementoftheday,becauseboydidIeverhavebigger
fishtofryatthemoment.IzeroedinonTanner.âWhenwillwediscussfindingMarlon?â
StillfocusedonMerle,hesaid,âWeâvealreadydiscussedit.âAhotflushsweptoverme.âYouhave?âOnlythendidhelookatme.âAfewhoursago.Ateamleavesatnineinthe
morningtoscoutforhim.âIsawred.âAndIâmguessingIwasconvenientlyleftoutofthismeeting?âTannerâsgazedroppedaway.Abitterlaughpunchedoutofme.âButIbetRenwasnât.Duringthismeeting
didhetellyouaboutmyplantoleave?ââHe did before Fabian and his consul arrived,â Tanner answered. âI do
believehedidnâtmeanforthistohappen.âHeglancedwrylyatMerle.âImadetheerrorofmentioningittoMerle,whoasyoucansee,hadastrongreaction.â
Iwasabouttohaveastrongreaction.âIwill bewithwhatever team leaves tomorrow.â I stepped aroundTanner
andMerle,silentlydaringhertogetthosehandcuffsnearme.âIamdonewiththisconversation.â
I didnât give them the chance to respond, stalking out into the hallway. Imadeitaboutfivefeet.
âIvy.Wait.âItwasTink.Inhalingdeeply,Iturnedtotellhimthatwhateverhehadtosayhadtowait,
butIsawthelookonhisface.Hisexpressionwasstricken.âYouweregoingtoleaveme?âOhGod.âIâââYoureallyweregoingtodothat?âTinkcreptcloser,hiseyeswellingwith
emotion.âWhywouldyoudothat?â
Runningmyhandsdownmyface,Ishookmyhead.âItdoesnâtmatter.ThePrinceââ
âFound a new halfling and doesnât care about you anymore. Yeah, I wasthereforthat.âHishandsopenedandclosedathissides.âButbefore?Youwereplanningtoleavemeâleaveus.ThatâswhyRenissoupset.â
âWell,therearealotofreasonswhyheâsupset,butyes,thatâsoneofthem.âTinkstaredatmeforsolongthatuneasefilledme.âSo,youweregoingto
leavewithouttellingme.âI shifted my weight, uncomfortable. âI learned that the Prince could get
throughtheglamour.I...Ipanicked.AllIcouldthinkaboutwashimusingyouorRen.IthoughtthatifIleft,thenyouguyswouldnâtbeatrisk.â
âDidyounotthinkthatwewouldâvefreakedoutandleft,lookingforyou?âhedemanded.
âIdidnâtreallythinkitthrough.ââNo.âHurtfilledhiseyes.âYoudidnât.âShamesettledovermelikeacoarseblanket.âIknow,andIâmsorry.Iwould
do...Iwoulddoanythingtoprotectyoutwo.ââAndweâddoanythingtoprotectyou,âhesaidquietly.âYousavedmylife,
Ivy.ââYousavedmine,âIremindedhim.âAndyouyelledatmeforit.âWhenIstartedtorespond,hecontinuedon.âI
getwhy.Ido.âI rubbed theheelofmypalmagainstmyhip. âCanwe . . . Idonâtknow?
Startover?Ireallyamsorry.ItwasastupidplanâââAcruelandstupidplan.ââYes.âIsighed.âItwas.âHeliftedhischin.âIalreadylostmyfamilyonce.Idonotwanttolosemy
familyagain,Ivy.âMybreathcaught.âAndthatâswhatyouaretomeâyouandevenRen,âhesaid,andIsortof
wishedRenwasheretohear that.âYoutwoareall thatIhave.Ifyouhadleftme,itwouldâvekilledme.â
Guiltwasaknotinmythroat,oneIneededtolivewith.Isteppedforward,placingmyhandonhisarm.âIâmsorry,Tink.Ijustpanicked,andIknowthatâsnotagoodexcuse,butitâsthetruth.IpanickedandIdidnâtthinkaboutwhatitwoulddotoyouandRen.Andthatwaswrong,becauseyoutwoareallIhaveleft.Youare...âIdrewinadeepbreath.âYouâremyfamily.â
Tinkstudiedmeamomentandthensprangforward,wrappinghislongarmsaround me. He hugged meâhugged me tight, and I reacted without thought,
foldingmyarmsaroundhim.Squeezingmyeyesclosedagainstthesuddenrushoftears,Iplantedmyfaceagainsthischest.
IwaslearningTinkgavegreathugs.âAllisforgiven,âTinkmurmuredintomyear.âButifyoueverthinkabout
doingsomethinglikethatagain,Iwillnotforgiveyou.ââOkay,âIwhisperedthickly.âAndIwillgoontoAmazonandordersomeweirdshit.Notonly that, Iâll
makemywishlistpublic,whichmeansitwillbeyourwishlist,âhecontinued.âYoudonâtwantthat.â
MylipstwitchedasIpulledback.âIdonâtwantthat.ââGood.âDrawinginadeepbreath,Iglancedatthecloseddoortothegym.âIneedto
findRen.Doyouhaveanyideawhereheâsat?ââIthinkheâsatthepool.âSurprisefilledme.âThereâsapool?âTink looked atme like Iwas half stupid. âAll the roaming around youâve
doneandyouhavenâtfoundthepoolyet?Youarenotlivingyourbestlife.â
Tinkwasright.Iwasnât livingmybest life if Ididnâtknow therewasadamnpool in this
building, and there apparentlywasoneon the second floor.The faint scent ofchlorine led theway, andwith each step,myearlier anger resurfacedwith thevengeanceofathousandburningsuns.
IknewIâdmadeamistakewiththewholeleavingthing.Renhadbeenright.Ithadbeenaknee-jerkreaction,buthimrunningtoTannerwasgoingtoofar.
Itwastimetohavethatstrongreactionthatdidnâtincludecryingandfeelinglikeadouche.
Slamming my hands into the double doors, I burst into the room andimmediatelycametoanabrupthalt.Myeyeswidened.Theroomwaslargeandbrightdue to the floor-to-ceilingwindowsallalong the furthest side.Thepoolwas one of those huge ones, Olympic size, but it wasnât the pool that hadrenderedmecompletelyincapableofmoving.
ItwasRen.âHolycrap,âIwhispered.He didnât hearme, because he was currently gliding under the water like
some kind of sea God, his body sleek and quick as he swam. He was onlywearing what appeared to be black boxer briefs. There was a pile of neatly
folded clothing on a nearby bench, and I could almost picture him standingthere,foldingthejeansandshirt.Hisshoesweretuckedunderthebench.
Thepanthertattooonhisbackmovedwithhim,anabsolutelystunningpieceofartworksomehowhighlightedbytheglisteningwater.Leanmusclesalonghisback flexedashebroke the surface in thedeepend.Hedidnât seemeat first,whichwasgreatbecauseitgavememoretimetocreeponhimasheliftedhispowerfularms,pushingthewaterandhairfromhisface.
Mymouthdriedasazingshotfrommychesttomycore.Hewas....Renâs head swung sharply inmy direction. Those eyeswere like polished
emeraldjewels,placedperfectlybehindthick,wetlashes.Tensesilencefilledtheroomaswestaredatoneanother.Hewastheoneto
breakit.âHey,âhesaid,wadingawayfromthemiddleof thepool, toward theedge
whereIstood.Iblinkedslowlyandthengotmyhormonesincheck.Okay.Renwashotand
helookedlikesomekindofGod.Whatever.Iwasnotthateasilydistracted.âIamsopissedatyourightnow,âItoldhim.âReally,âhereplieddryly,droppingaheavyarmonthecement.Onesideof
hislipskickedup.âIsthatanydifferentfromthismorningwhenyouwerepissedatme?â
âOh.âIlaughedharshly.âYouthinkthisisfunny?âThesmirkdidnâtfade.âIalwaysthinkyouârefunny,Sweetness.âDidhenow?âOkay.Iâllshowyousomethingthatâsreallyfunny.âHis other arm came up and landed on the cement. âYou have a riveted
audienceforit.âSpinningaround,Istalkedtowardthebenchandpickeduphisclothing.âIvyââIwhirledandengagedfull-bitchmode,dartingtotheendofthepool.âDonâtyoudare. I swear toGod, Ivy!âMuscles inhisarmspumpedashe
liftedhimselfstraightoutthepool.Hewasonhisfeetwithinseconds.âIvyâââToolate.âIthrewhisclothingintothepool.Ren spun, but there was no saving his stuff. His shirt and tactical pants
landedwithasatisfyingsplash.Hestaredatthemforamoment.âFuck,âhespat.Ifacedhim,grinningliketheMadHatter.âThatwasrealfunny,wasnâtit?âHisnarrowedgazelandedonme.âAreyououtofyourmind?ââNah,butIâmthinkingyouare.ââIâmthecrazyone?Youjustthrewmyclothesintothepool!ââAndIwishIcoulddoitagain!âIstalkeduptohim.Sincehewasagood
foottallerthanme,Ihadtoleanmyheadbacktoglareathim.âYourattedmeouttoTanner!â
Understandingflaredinhisfaceandthenherolledhiseyes.âThatâswhyyouthrewmystuff in thepool? Jesus, Ivy.âHecoughedout a short laugh. âI toldTannerthismorningbeforethatSummerPrinceshowedup.â
âOh, so because you ratted me out before it became irrelevant makes itokay?â
His brows furrowed. âHe needed to know in case you didnât hold to yourpromiseandmadearunforit.â
Igapedathim.âAreyouserious?âShoving his wet hair off his face, he stepped back. âAs serious as you
throwingmyshitintothepool.ââIâmabouttothrowyou into thepool,âIsnapped,struggling tonot letmy
gazewander fromhis face,becausehewaswet andhada lotofhard skinondisplay.âYoudidnâthavetotellhim.â
A muscle ticked in his jaw as he looked away, and dammit, my gazedropped.Hischestwasallwetandhard,andwaterstillcourseddownthosetautabs. The band on his briefs hung indecently low and they left little to theimagination.Soakingwet,theyclungtoeverylong,hardinch....
Wait.Washehard?Myeyeswidened.Yes.Yes,hewas.âMyfaceisuphere,âRenmocked.Iflushedasmygazejerkedtohis.âAsshole.ââNotthatImindyoustaringatmelikeyouwanttotakeabiteoutofme,but
rightnow,Iâmkindofworriedyoumightactuallybite.âI folded my arms over my chest. âI promised you that Iâd stay until we
learnedabouttheCrystal,andIwouldhave.âMyhandscurledintofists.âYoucouldâvetrustedme.â
Shakinghishead,helookedupattheceiling.âItrustyou,Ivy.ItrustyoutoalwaysdowhatIleastexpect.â
Myheadtiltedtotheside.âDoyouhaveadeathwishrightnow?âRenlookedawayagain,frowningashispantsfloatedpastus.âIâmsorrythat
youdidnâtlikethatItoldTanner,butIfeltheneededtoknowsinceheâdgivenus shelterânot the greatest shelter, but a place nonetheless.Whoknowswhatwouldâve happened if youâd left, what effect couldâve rippled back on thisplace?But no, thatâs not something you thought about.âHis hard gaze foundmine.âYouknow,withyourgreatescapeplanandall.â
Dammit,hehadabitofapoint there,but Isureashellwasnât tellinghim
that.âDoyouknowwhatMerledid?ââIdidnâttellMerleshit.ââButTannerdid,âIsaid.âSheshowedupjustafewminutesagowithapair
ofhandcuffs.Yes.Handcuffs.ââWhat?âHelaughed,thistimethesoundlighter,moregenuine.âIwouldâve
paidmoneytoseethat.ââAreyouforreal?âHe said something and laughed again, and I swear my vision went white
withrage.Stormingforward,Islammedmyhandsintohischest.Hislaughwascutoffashelosthisbalance,fallingbackward.Idonâtevenknowhowwhathappenednextwentdown.Renâsarmsflailed
outandhemustâvegrabbedmyarm,becausethenextthingIknewIwasfallingsidewaysintothepool.
Myshriekwassilencedby the rushofwater swallowingmewhole. I sanknearlytothebottom,eyessqueezedtight,mouthfullofair.
Holyshit,thewaterwascooold.Usingmyfeetagainstthebottom,Ipushedmywaytothetop,breakingthe
surfaceandgaspingforair.Icouldhearsplashingnexttome,alertingmetoRendoingthesamething.Theimpacthadknockedmyhairdown,anditcoveredmyfacelikeared,tangledveil.Usingonearmtoswimtotheside,Iusedtheotherhandtopushitoutofmyface.
Renturnedinthewatertowardme,hiseyeswidewithsurprise.âYoupushedmeintothepool.â
âYoupulledmeintothepool!âMyfeetreachedthestairs.He stared atme for amoment and then did the craziest thing.Ren started
laughingâlaughingdeep,bellylaughsasheheldontotheothersideofthepool.Somethingabouthislaughwas...infectious.Mylipstwitchedandthenagiggleescaped.Itwaslikealeveebreaking.One
soft laughandI lost it.Ourlaughterreachedthehighceiling,andmystomachcrampedfromtheforceofit,becausethisâusâwasridiculous.
IwasgaspingforairbythetimeImadeittotheshallowendwhereIcouldstandwith the water reachingmy chest. âWe are so stupid . . .â I trailed offbecauseIâdlookedoveratRen.Hewasjuststaringatme,mouthslightlyopenlikeheâdjustwitnessedatotalsolareclipse.âWhat?â
âI...âHeshookhishead,hischeeksflushingpink.âIjusthavenâtheardyoulaughlikethatinalong,longtime.â
I frowned, my arms floating at my sides. Our gazes connected over thedistance.âIt...feelslikeitâsbeenalongtime.Itâsnicetolaughlikethat.âIfeltlikeafoolforadmittingthat,somycheeksflamedtolife.
Renpushedawayfromthewall,wadingoutintothecenterofthepool.âItwasbeautiful.â
IbitdownonmylipasIwatchedhimcomecloser.âReally?ââYeah.âHereachedtheendwherehisfeetcouldhitthebottom.Amoment
passedashischestroseandfellsharply.âIjustwishIhearditmoreoften.âMybreathcaughtasabubbleofemotionswelledinsideme.Renstoppedmoving.âAndallIwantisforyoutofeelitmoreoften.Atthe
endoftheday...thatâswhatIwish.âIopenedmymouthtotellhimthereweresomanymoreimportantthingsto
wish for, but the words got stuck in my throat because I wanted that too. Iwishedforthat,too.
Icouldfeelmyfacestarttocrumple.âTalktome,âRenpleadedquietly,likehealwaysdid.âTalktome,Ivy.âItwaslikethesharpedgeofadaggertakentoanoverinflatedballoon.Iburst
wideopen,every thoughtandfeelingon theoutsideofme,drenchingmyskinandthreateningtopullmebackunder.
Therewasnohiding,nopretending.Therewasnoroomlefttolie.Iclosedmyeyes.âIdonât...IdonâtknowwhoIamanymore.â
Chapter17
There.Iâdsaidit.Iâdsaid itout loudandIâdsaid it toRen.Therewasnotakingitback,not
whenitwasoutthereintheopenlikethat.Noway.âIvy.âHe saidmyname like it brokehim.Likehewasaballoon thathad
burst,too.IkeptmyeyesclosedbecauseIdidnâtwanttoseehisface.âEversincethe..
.thePrince,Ihavenâtfeltlikemyself.IdidthingsandIknowâIknowhemademedothosethings,butitmademefeellikeIwasnâtme.âIliftedmyhandsfromthewater,squeezingthemintofists.âNowIdonâtevenlooklikeme,andIhavethisthinginsidemeâthisneedthatwasnevertherebeforeâthishunger.Ijust...â
Pressingmylipstogether,Iinhaledroughlythroughmynoseandopenedmyeyes. Ren hadnât come any closer. He was as still as a statue, but he waswatchingme,andIknewhehadnâtlookedaway.Notonce.âAndIâvebeenstuckin my head, you know? Just trying to make sense of every damn thing thathappenedsoitâshardtogetoutofmyhead.ThatâswhyIgotmyasskickedbythose fae. Iwasnâtpayingattention, and Ihavenâtbeeneating right, andâandthatnightItoldmyselfIâdfinallytalktoyou.Iwouldtellyouwhatâsgoingon,butyou...IsawyouwithTinkandFayeinoneofthecommonrooms,andyoulookedsorelaxed.SorelaxedandnormalthatIdidnâtwanttoruinthat.Ididnâtwanttotakethatfromyou.â
Renclosedhiseyes,facetensing.âI reallydidplanon talking toyou thatnight,but then . . . then thewhole
stabbingthinghappened.âIdrewinashudderingbreath.âThenIfedandweâyou know what happened. Then I learned about the Prince being able to getthrough theglamour,and I justpanicked. I flippedoutandyesâyes!Myplanwasstupid.Itwasaknee-jerkreaction.Youâreright.AndTinkisright,becauseitwasalsocruel.And Iâmsorry fornot tellingyou. Iwas running,and itwaswrong,butIjustwantedtomakesureyoutwoweresafe,becauseyouandTinkareallIhave.Iwantedtobeincontrol,butIjustdidnâtthinkitthrough.â
Hiseyeswereopenagain,hisexpressionstrained.Pale.Itwashardlookingathim,becausehelookedlikehowIfelt.
âAndI . . . Iwokeup thismorningand toldmyself that Iwasgoing tobe
okay.Iwasgoingtogetmyshit together.ThatIwasincontrolofme.Icouldignorethehunger.Thatmybodywasmine,mythoughtsweremine.ThatIcouldbeokaywithhavingslightlysilveryskinandpointyears.Ievenworemyhairuptoprovethat.âIwasramblingnowandIcouldnâtseemtostopmyself.âIwokeupthismorningtellingmyselfIwasincontrol,andthenI...Ireallywasnât.â
AtremorcoursedthroughmeasIsteppedback,bumpingintothepoolwall.âYou tellingme I had to stay here, thenMerle trying to handcuffme toGodknowswhat,andallIwantisforthingstobethewaytheywerebefore.â
Renâsjawtensed,andatoo-longmomentpassed.âIâmsorry.âNotexpectingthatresponse,Iblinked.His chest rosewithwhat appeared tobeaheavybreath. âIdidnâtmean to
take that from you today. Fuck.â He lifted a hand, running it over his head,pushinglocksofwethairback.âIjustwantedyousafe,andifthePrincehadleftNewOrleans,thenyouwouldbesafehere.â
âIknow,â Iwhispered,wipingat the tearsonmycheek.âBut Ihave tobetherewhenyougotofindMarlon.Ihaveto...â
âTake back control. I know.âHe dropped his hand as he stepped forward,stirringthewater.âIâvemadethisharderforyouwhileIâmthinkingIâmmakingiteasier,doingtherightthing.â
âWebothhave,âIadmittedquietly,andthatwasthetruth.Weboththoughtweweredoingwhatwasbestforeachother,butintheend,weweredoingmoreharmthangood.
Renlookedaway,hisjawflexing.âYeah,butIgaveyoushitforplanningtoleavewithoutme,andthenIturnedaroundandplannedtodothesamething.â
âButyouprobablymeanttoactuallytellmefirst,âIpointedout.âThatdoesnâtmatter.âThemusclesinhisshoulderstensed.âWefuckedup,
didnâtwe?âMybreath hitched again.Hewasnât looking atme, and I feltmy stomach
droplikeIwasonarollercoaster.âIknowyouprobablydonâtwanttodothiswithmeanymore. IknowIhurtyouandâhell,youwere rightwhenyousaidIâvealwaysbeenrunning.Youdonâthavetokeepchasingme.Thatâsnotright.âI swallowedhardwhenhisheadswiveled towardme.âWeneverevengot thechancetohaveanormalrelationship.Canâtbesurprisedthatthisisnâtworkingout.Wecanâtââ
âWhat?âRencutthroughthewaterlikehewasborninit.Withinaheartbeat,hewasrightinfrontofmeandthenhishandsweretouchingmycheeks,cuppingthem. âLetâs hit pause for a second, because I want to make something realclear.â
Ourgazeslocked,andIcouldnâtevenformulatearesponse.
âIwaspissedatyou.Youâreprobablystillpissedatme.Weârefightingandwegotsomeshit towork through,but thatâsnormal.Whatweâredealingwithoutsideofusisnât,butwearestillanus.âHisgazesearchedmine.âIstillloveyou.Iâmstillrightherewithyou.Hasthatchangedforyou?â
Myheartallbutexplodedinmychest.Ididnâtknowuntilthisverymomenthow badly I needed to hear thatâto remember that thiswas normal.Couplesfought.Sometimestheysaidthingstheywishtheyhadnât.Sometimestheydidnâtagreeanddidthingsthatcouldhurteachother.ItwasnâtlikeShaunandIneverargued.Thereâdbeencallsthatendedabruptly.Doorsslammedinfaces.Iâdjust...Iâdjustforgottenthat.
Iâdforgottenthattherecouldstillbeanusthroughthestorm.And thatâswhatmade thisdifferent,made this special,because Iknewout
there in thenormalworld, therewere peoplewho nevermade it past the firsthurdle,whogaveup themoment it got hardor required them to admit theyâdbeenwrong.Andourhurdleshadbeenhigh.Theywere still there, the sizeofskyscrapers,loomingoverusliketheshadowofwinterwhenyouâredesperatelyclingingtosummer.
âIâmstillhere,âIsaid,myvoiceshaky,myentirebodytrembling.âIâmstillwithyou.Istillloveyou.Ineverstopped.Icanât.â
Idonâtknowwhomadethefirstmove.Itcouldâvebeenme.MaybeRen.ButwhateverdistancethatwasbetweenusevaporatedandIdonâtknowifitwashimwhokissedmeormewhokissedhim.Wewerebothgrabbingatoneanother.Renholdingmycheeks.Meclutchingathisshoulders,risingupontothetipsofmytoes.
And when our lips met, it was the sweetest, softest kiss. A touch of ourmouths that turned into a slow exploration as ifwewere getting reacquaintedwitheachother,and...wereallywere.
Hisbareskinagainstmyhandswashotandwetasoneofhishandsslippedback,his fingersbrushingmyearand tangling inmyhair.My lipspartedas Iwhisperedhisname,andthekissdeepenedasheshudderedagainstme.
God,Imissedthisâthecloseness,theintimacy.WhathadhappenedbetweenusafterIfedwasnâtintimate.Itwasjustferociousneeddrivingbothofus.Thiswasdifferent.
Myhandssliddownhischest,towherehisheartbeataswildlyasmine.Renpulledawaytoask,âIsthisokay?âWas it?Wewere in thepool andweâdbeen fightingminutes ago.Anyone
couldwalkinonus,buttherewasstillanus,andIdidnâtcare.Iwantedhim.IneededhiminawaythatwaslikenothingIâdeverexperiencedbefore,andwewerekissingwithoutmetryingtosuckouthisessence.
Ineededthis.âYes,âItoldhim,andIthoughtIoughttoshowhimtoo.Hooking an armover his neck and leaning in, I broughtmymouth to his.
Thiskisswasnothingliketheonebeforeit.Itdidnâtstartoffsweetandslow.Oh,no.Renmadethissoundinthebackofhisthroatthatcurledmytoesandturned
mybloodintomoltenlava.Thehandatthebackofmyheadtightenedandhisother dropped, his arm circling my waist, sealing our hips together. The kissdeepenedandthefirsttouchofhistongueagainstminewaslikestrikingamatchtogasoline.
Renpushedin,trappingmebetweenhisbodyandthepoolwall.Itiltedmyhead as the hand atmy hip slid downmy thigh.He liftedmy leg, curving itaroundhiswaist,andImoanedintothekiss.
Withhimwearingnothingbutboxerbriefsandmeinthinleggings,italmostfelt as if there was nothing between us. Almost. I could feel his hard lengthagainst my core, and when he pushed his hips in, I thought I might have anorgasmrightthen.
Mybodyreactedwithoutthought.Iwasnâtthinkingaboutusfighting,abouthow Iâd changed, orwhat thePrince haddone tome.Therewasno room forthat.Wewerekissing likeweâdbeen inadroughtandwehad justbeengivenwater. Each time I rolledmy hips, he answered and gave it back.Our bodiesweremoving,stirringthewater,andourhandswereexploring,slippingoverwetskin.Hiswereundermyshirt,skimmingovermyribsandupandupuntilmyheartwasslamminginmychest.
ThenRenstopped.Breakingthekiss,heplacedhisforeheadagainstmineashedraggedindeep
breaths.Hishandsplayedacrossmycheeknow.âMaybe...maybeweshouldslow it down?â His warm breath danced over my lips. âI want to make sureyouârereadyforthis.â
Myheartsqueezedinmychestinthemostwonderfulway.Itouchedhisjawas I openedmy eyes, seeking out his gaze. I found it. âIâm ready.More thanready,andI...Idonâtwanttowait.â
Ren growled something that sounded a lot like âthank Godâ and then hekissedmeagain.Ourhandsfumbledinthewater.Imanagedtosliphimfree,andsomehowhegotmysoakingleggingsdownbelowmyknees.Itwasaslipperyjob,andwewerebothlaughing,becauseholycrap,wetleggingswerenoteasytoworkwith,butthenthelaughterdied.
Renâsgazeheldminewithanall-consumingintensityasheliftedmeupjustenoughuntilIfelthimbetweenmythighs.Thenhislipsmovedovermineand
alongmyjawasIfelthishandagainstme.OnefingerandInearlywentofflikeafirecracker.
âGod,âIgaspedagainsthismouthasIclutchedhisarm.Heworkedhishand,pressinghispalmrightagainstthemostsensitivespot.
Headdedanother finger, andwebothgroanedout loud. Itwas toomuch,andwhen he hooked that finger deep insideme, the first orgasmhitme so hard Idroppedmyheadtohisshouldertosmothermycry.
âIâvemissedyou.âHisvoicewashuskyandragged.âFuck,Iâvemissedyousomuch.â
Rawemotionswelledasmybodyshook.Hekissedhiswaydownmythroat,coaxingmyheadback.âImissedyou,âIsaid.âIâvemissedallofthis.â
âNotanymore,âhepromised.âNeveragain.âThenhewasinsideme,inthewayIwanted,alwayswanted.Atfirstitwasa
shock.RenwasnotsmallandIcouldnâtspreadmylegswithleggingsdownatmy knees, and for some reason thatmade it all somuchmore . . .wow. Thefriction,thetightnesswasincredible.
Hestartedmoving,onehandclampedaroundthebackofmyneck,hisotherarmwrapped aroundmywaist as he pumped intomeâone deep, long thrustafteranother.
Whatweweredoing,knowingwecouldbecaughtatanymoment,wascrazybutthatdidnâtstopus.Itwasjustus,ourbodiesmovingtogetheruntilitbecamefrenzied,sendingthewaterlappingovertheside.
âHell,Sweetness,âhegroaned,andIfeltitbuildinginsidemeallover,thatterribletension,amessoflongingandlust.
Helaunchedusbackward,and then theroughcementwasdigging intomybackashepressed intomeas farashecouldgo,grindingagainstmeuntilhepushedme to the edgeofbliss again and then threwme rightover it. I came,cryingoutasheburiedhisheadinmyneck,thrustingonceandthentwicebeforehefollowedmerightovertheedge,mynameaharshburstofairatthatoddlysensitivespotbelowmypulse.
Iwaslimpinhisarms,mycheekslippingtohischest,vaguelyawareofhimpullingoutandloweringmesomyfeethitthebottomofthepool.Hedidnâtpullawaythough,stillholdingmetighttohim.
His breathing slowed as he droppedhis chin to the top ofmyhead. For alittle while, we stayed like that, neither of us talking. It was just us and theripplingofthewater.
ItwasRenwhobrokethesilence.Hishandtightenedaroundthebackofmyneck.âAreweokay?â
For the first time in days, I didnât have to think about how to answer that
question.Iknewtheanswerimmediately.âWeâregoingtobe.â
Chapter18
Having non-feeding related sex didnât fix all the problems we had and werefacing,butitsureashellchilledmeoutenoughtobeabletotalkaboutthem.
âI donât know how to do relationships,â I admitted fromwheremy cheekwasplastered toRenâschest.After thepool,weâdcomeback toour roomandchanged intodryclothes.Well,mostly.Ren threwonapairof sweats and Iâdstolen one of his shirts. It was long enough to cover all the interesting parts.Thenwehitthebed,himonhisbackandmeonmyside,pressedupagainsthim.His armwas curled aroundmywaist, his hand resting onmy hip. âImean, IthinkIusedto.IdidwithShaun.IguessIjustforgothow.â
âIdonâtthinkthereâsonewaytodorelationships.âHishandwasstill,buthisthumbmoved in a slow, continuous sweepingmotion. âAndyouknowwhat Ithink?â
âWhat?âRenshiftedontohisside,and thenext thingIknew,wewereface to face.
âWeâvegottocutourselvesabreak.âMygazewanderedoverhisface.âIlikethesoundofthat.âHis lips quirked up on one side as he dragged his hand up my side.
âSeriouslythough.Bothofushavebeenthroughsomeshit.Weârebothgettingoverthat.Weârenotgoingtobeperfect.â
Folding my hands between us, I smiled a little. âYouâre pretty close toperfect.â
Hecaughttheedgesofmyhairandtuggedonacurl,pullingitstraight.âNo,Iâmnot. I shouldâvekeptmymouth shut thismorning.âHe letgoof thecurl,watchingitbounceback.âYouhaveeveryrighttobepissedoverthat.â
Yeah,Idid.âAndyouhaveeveryrighttobepissedatmefortryingtobailonyouguys.â
âTrue.âHis grin spread as he touched a finger tomy cheek. âLook at us,agreeingonsomething.â
âSo,youârenotgoingtoflipoutwhenIgetupinthemorningandgetreadytogofindMarlon?â
âNo.âHeletoutasigh.âItâsnotgoingtobeeasy,butIâlldealwithit.ââGood.âHetrailedhisfingeralongmycheekbone.âAndyouâregoingtokeeptalking
to me, right? Especially when you feel like you donât know who you are
anymore?Youâregoingtoletmehelpremindyou,right?âTearsimmediatelyblurredmyvision.Rensawthem,becausehishandstilled
withhisthumbjustbelowmylip.âRight?âhepersisted.âRight,âIrasped,chokedup.Loweringhishand,heskatedhisthumbovermylip.âPromisemethat,Ivy.âIswalloweddownthesuddenknotinmythroat.âIpromise.âHeleanedin,hislipsreplacinghisthumb,kissingmesoftly.Whenhepulled
back,hisgazewasalittlelessheavy.âWhenwewereinthepoolandyouwerelettingmemakeyourdreamscometrueââ
âWow.âHesmiledbroadlythen,andmyheartskippedabeat.Therewasoneofthose
dimples!AndIbetifIcouldseehiswholeface,bothwouldbeoutinalltheirglory.âHowwereyoufeeling?Besidesbeingblissedoutofyourmind?â
Irolledmyeyes.âIfelt...normal.LikeIwasnâtthinkingabout...âHeatcreptintomycheeks,butIdidnâtallowmyselftoshutdown.âIwasnâtthinkingabouthimoranythinglikethat.â
IfRenhadbeenworriedaboutthat,hedidnâtshowit.âAndwhataboutthewholesuckingoutmyessencething?â
The warmth in my cheeks deepened, but I pushed through theuncomfortableness.âIdidnâtwanttofeed.Itnevercrossedmymind.â
âThatâsgood,right?ââYeah,itâsjustthat...Idonâtknowifitwillalwaysbelikethatorifitâllhit
meagainâthecravings.âIforcedmyselftokeepgoing.âImean,itâsthere.Notallthetime,butitâslike...indigestion.â
Heliftedabrow.âButmoreseriousthanheartburn,âIadded.Renwasquietforamoment.âYouâvegottotrustyourself,Ivy.Iknowthatâs
easier said thandone, but evenwhenyouwere . . . dying, youdidnâtwant tofeed.Andwhenyouwerefeeding,youstopped.Thatpartofyouisnotgone.Inever onceworried about you jumpingonme like the face-clinger thing fromthoseAlienmovies.â
Ilaughedsoftly.âGoodtoknow.ââItrustyou.âHiseyesmetandheldmine.âIâmgoingtomakesureyoustart
trustingyourself.âMy vision blurred again, and it didnât help when he kissed the tip ofmy
nose.âNow,ontoamuchmoreseriousconversation.âOhdear.
Heroseontooneelbow.âIâmnotsureifyourealizedthisornot,butyouâreprettystrong.â
âOfcourseIam,âImurmured.Hedroppedhishandtothecurveofmywaist.âNo,Ivy.Strongerthanyou
realize.âIfrownedupathim.âWhen you pushed me into the pool, I wasnât off-balance. You shouldnât
havebeenabletodothatsoeasily.âUnsureifIshouldbeannoyedbythatstatementornot,myfrownincreased.
âIâvebeentrainingsinceIcanremember.Knockingyouoverisnâtthathard.âHegrinneddownatme.âAndIâvebeentrainingsinceIcanremember.Plus,
Ihaveagoodhundredpoundsonyou.Whenyoupushedme,itfeltlikeatruckwasslammingintome.â
âWow,âImuttered.âThatâsnotflattering.âChuckling under his breath, he raised his brows at me. âI want to try
something,okay?Iwantyoutoholdmedown.âIstaredathim.âSeriously?âHenodded.âIwanttoseeifyouââRendidnâtneedtoasktwice.Sittingup,Iplacedmyhandsonhisshoulders
andpushedhimback,intothebed.Imoved,straddlinghim.âOkay.âHelaughed.âYouâredownforthis.âIgrinned.âIâmalwaysheretoknockyoudownapegortwo.âHeblewakissatme,and thenI felthismusclesflexundermypalms.He
startedtoriseup,butIpusheddown,keepinghimrelativelypinned.âThatâsthebestyougot?Comeon,Ren.Stopmessingwithme.ââIâmnotmessingwithyou.âHis jawlockeddownashisbodycoiled tight
undermine.Heliftedhisshouldersup,butIexertedmorepressure,keepinghimfrom sitting up. âJesus,â he grunted, falling back and losing the inches heâdgained.âThatâswhatIâmtalkingabout.â
Iblinkedandthenjerkedmyheadback.âYouârereallynotfoolingaround?Youcanâtsitup?â
âNo.âIdidnâtbelievehim.âTryitagain.ââWhatever.âRendidanabcurl,andIcouldfeel thepowerandstrengthin
hisbody.Hewasnât holdingback,buthewasnât gettingvery far.Hismusclestrembled.âSee?â
Shocked,Iletgoandthenheshotuplikearocket,snagginganarmaroundmywaistbeforeItoppledoffofhim.âHolycrap.â
âYeah.âOncehehadmesteady,hefellbackontothebed.âThatâswhatIâm
talkingabout.Youârestrongerthanme.âAllIcoulddowasstareathim.Iâdalwaysbeenfastandstrong.Yearsand
yearsoftrainingdidthat,butRenhadmoremusclemass.Ishouldnâthavebeenabletooverpowerhim.
Thedimpleappearedinhischeek.âAnditâskindofhotashell.âIcockedmyheadtothesideandsighed.âWhat?Rememberthatnightwhenyouflippedme?ââYeah,Iremember.Youhadbrokenintomyapartment,âIreplieddryly.âIdidnâtbreakit.Thebalconydoorswereunlocked.âIrolledmyeyes.âYoustillenteredwithoutpermission,Ren.âHeskatedrightoverthat.âAnyway,Ithinkyouâvegotsomefaestrengthin
you.âSittingback,Iletmyhandsrestonhisabs.âYouknow,beingahalflingand
all?Ineverreallygotsickgrowingup.Ineverbrokeabone,butIâveneverbeenthisstrong.â
âProbablythefeeding.âHishandslandedlightlyonmyhips.IthoughtbacktowhenIfirstwokeup.âFayedidsaytheremaybeother...
changesinme,andI...Ibroketherestraintstheyhadonme.Iâdforgottenallaboutthat.â
âRestraints?âThegrinfadedfromhisface.âYeah.You didnât know?Apparently, theywereworried Iâd do something
terrible.âIblewoutalongbreath,thinkingaboutwhenIwastrainingearlier.Ihadnâtgonefullbeastmodeonthedummy,soIwouldnâthavenoticedifIwasstrongerthanbefore.âMaybeitâllfade.â
âMaybe.â He tilted his head to the side. âBut look at Faye or Kalen andDane.Theydonâtfeedandtheyârestrong.â
And I had changed, physically.Therewasnodenying that.Being strongerwasnâtbad.Notatall.Consideringmylineofworkandwhatwehadfacingus,itwasablessing.
Odd.Iwasnâtsurehowtofeelaboutbeingokaywiththatchange.ThenIrealized
thatIcouldbeokaywithit.Ijusthadtoletmyselfbeokay.Coulditbethateasy?I shifted and then stilled, pulled completely out of my head. I felt him
hardeningunderme.Mybrowslifted.âReally?âA lopsided grin appeared. âI donât know if you remember this or not, but
youârenotwearinganythingundermyshirtandyouârestraddlingme.âAsharptingleradiatedfromwhereIcouldfeelhimstrainingupagainstme.
âGoodpoint.â
âAndlikeIsaid,youoverpoweringmeishotashell.âI laughed as I tipped forward, marveling at the way his abs tightened in
responseandhowhiseyesdeepenedtoaforestgreen.âItmustbenicebeingaguy.â
HiseyesbecamehoodedashisfingerstiptoedalongtheedgesoftheshirtIwaswearing.âItiswhenIhaveyousittingonmydick.â
Alaughburstoutofme,andIgotblessedwithtwodimplesappearingonhisface.
Hisfingerscurledunderthehemoftheshirt.âIwanttoseeyou.âMy breath caught, because I knewwhat hemeant. Immediately,my pulse
pounded.Iwasseriouslynakedunderhisshirt.âMayI?âBitingdownonmylip,Inodded.Renliftedtheshirt,slidingitupmysidesandovermyhead.Whenhetossed
itonto thebedbesidehim, Iwascompletelybareand therewasnohiding thefactthateverypartofmehadasilverytinttoit.
AndRenwastakingitallin.His gaze locked with mine and then slid south, the intensity almost a
physicalcaress.Ifelthisstareasitslippedovermyshoulders.Mybreastsgrewheavy, nipples tightening, and it was hard to sit still as his gaze continued tomove,overtheapexofmythighs,allthewaytowheremykneeswerebent.
âThankyou,âhesaidfinally,hisvoiceahuskydrawl.Mymouthdried.Theverytipsofhisfingersdraggedovermysidesandhips,downmyouter
thighsandthenbackup,overmylowerstomach.Hishandsstoppedjustbelowmybreasts.âYouârebeautiful,Ivy.Iâvetoldyouthat,right?â
Ifoundmyvoice.âYes.âAhalfgrinappearedashisfingersbrushedovertheswellofmybreasts.âI
donâtthinkItellyouthatnearlyenough.âIdrewinashallowbreath.âYoucankeeptellingmethat.âMyvoicehitched
ashisfingersgrewveryclosetomynipplesbeforeskatingaway.âIdonâtmind.âHe bit down on his lower lip, sucking it between his teeth. Parts of me
clenchedinresponse.Hisfingerscircledtheverycenterofmybreasts,andthetortureofhimgettingcloseandthenpullingawaywaspossiblythemostwickedthinghecoulddo.
âWeâre going to have to get up early tomorrow.â His gaze followed hisfingersnow.
âWhatâs...âIshiveredashedrewcloseyetagain.âWhatâstheplan?ââFayeisintheprocessoffindingoutwhereMarlonlivessinceIdonâtthink
heâsstayingat thathotelanylonger.âHishandsslippedtomyribs,andat thispoint,Iwaspantingwithanticipation.âAndsinceheâsnotusuallyatFluxuntiltheevenings,wereallydonâthavethetimetowaitonthat.â
âAgreed.âIswallowed,tryingtofocus.âWhoâsgoingwithus?âRenâshandsstayedatmywaist,much tomydisappointment.âNotexactly
sureyet.âI started to respond, butRen suddenly sat up.Circling an arm aroundmy
waist,hetiltedhisheadjusttheslightestashekissedme.Itwasbrief,toobrief,andthenheleanedaway,hisgazesnaggingmine.
AtfirstIhadnoideawhathewasupto.Icouldtellhewantedtotakethisfurther.Besidesthefacthestrippedmenaked,hewasstillhardunderme,andtherewasnomistakingtheintentinhisgaze,buthewasnâtmakinganymove.
Andthen. . . thenIrealizedwhathewasdoing,andI thoughtImightfallapart.
Renwasnâtjustwaiting.Hewashandingmethereinsinthis,givingmecompletecontrol.âI love you,â Iwhispered, and then I took it, showing himwhat Iwanted
withhishandsfirstandthenhismouth.
âTookalotofdigging,butIthinkIfoundwhereMarlonlives,âFayeannouncedthefollowingmorningwhilewesataroundasmalltableinthecafeteria.
Thereâd been stares, but I wasnât letting them get to me. Right now, Icouldnât afford to allowmyself to get caught up in stupid distractions, and Iwasnât.ThefactthatTinksatonmyleftandRenonmyrighthelped.
âSince his new house was completed about a month ago, he hasnât beenstayingatthehotel,âsheexplainedasIpickedupapieceofbacon.Myappetitestillwasnât back to normal, but I needed to eat. âHe actually bought an olderhomeoverinLakeVista.Renovationswerecompleteafewweeksago.â
âLakeVista?âMyeyeswidened.Holycrap,thatwasoneoftherichest,mostexclusive neighborhoods inNewOrleans. Being an evil, Ancient faemust beworkingoutwellforhim.
âYep.HishouseisonFlamingoStreet.âTurningthelaptopshehadinfrontofheraroundtofaceus,wegotaviewofthemassivehome.âNice,isnâtit?â
âIâm jealous,â I whispered, eyeing the beautiful two-story home with abalcony.Fayehaditpulleduponsomerealestatewebsite.
Tinkleanedover,squinting.âWhydonâtweliveinaplacelikethat?âIlookedathim.âIfyouwanttoliveinaplacelikethat,youârereallygoing
toneedtogetajob.ââIdonâtthinkthereisanyjobIâdbequalifiedforthatwouldhelpyouafford
thathouse.âRensnorted.âAnyway.â I munched down on the piece of bacon. âPretty sure that
neighborhoodisgated.ââWithsecurity,âFayesaid.âShouldnâtbeaproblem.âRenpickedupasliceofwheatbreadanddropped
itontomyplate.Fayeclosedthelaptop.âWedonâthurthumans.ââNotplanningto.âRenglancedtowhereDaneandKalensatnext toFaye.
âWeneedtogetintothatneighborhoodwithaslittletroubleaspossible.ââAnd that means you want us to use compulsion.â Dane leaned forward,
crossinghisarmsonthetable.âIhavenoproblemwiththat.âFayesighed.IhidmygrinasIbitintothebreadandimmediatelyregrettedit.Nobutter.
No jam.Tasted likecardboard. Idropped itonto theplateand reached formycoffeetowashtheblandnessaway.HowintheworlddidReneatthat?
âIdonâteither,âKalenchimedin.âButIdoubtwhoeverisworkingthegateishuman.Marlonwouldhavetobeafoolifthatâsthecase.â
âGood point.â Ren eyedmy discarded bread. âEitherway,weâre going tohavetobequickandhopelikehellheâshome.â
âAndthenwhat?âTinkasked.âWe have transportation that wonât arise suspicions immediately,â Dane
answered,tiltinghisdarkheadtotheside.âAndthenwhat?âTinkrepeated.IignoredRenashepokedatthethinghecalledbread,nudgingitcloserto
me.âThenwegetinsidehishouse.âTinktiltedhisheadasIgrabbedtheothersliceofbacon.âThatâsnotexactly
goingtobeeasy.ââNo.âRensighedheavilywhenherealizedtherewasnowayinhell Iwas
putting thatbread inmymouthagain.Hepicked it up frommyplate. âThatâswhyweneedtobefast,becausethereâsnowaytheywonâtknowwhoweare.â
âButtheydonâtknowme,âTinkpointedout.âIcouldblitzattackthem.âIslidhima long look.âBesidesyou.Youarestayingherewhereyouâllbe
niceandsafe.âTinkfrowned.âButIâââYoushouldstayandkeepPrinceFabiancompany,âFayesuggested.âHeâs
notcomingwithus.â
The corners of Tinkâs lips tipped up. âThat I can do.When are you guysleaving?â
Kalen checked the time on his phone. âAs soon as our wee little halflingfinishesherbreakfast.â
I stopped with the piece of bacon halfway to my mouth. âWee littlehalfling?â
Thefaegrinned.âAreyoureadyforthis?âDaneasked,notatallsmiling.âNottryingtobea
dickbyasking,butyouâvebeenoutofcommissionforawhileandâââAndIgotmyasskickedbytwofaenottoolongago,âIfinishedforhim.I
glancedatRen.Heâdaskedthesamequestionthismorning,andithadnâtbeenaneasyonetoanswer.âIâmasreadyasIwilleverbe.â
ThatresponsedidnâtseemtosatisfyDane.âIfheâsthere,thereâsgoingtobealotoffaewithhim,andheâsnotanormalfaeââ
âHeâsanAncient.Iknow.âMyshoulderstensed.âButIâmnotthesameIvywhogotjumpedinthecourtyard.â
âSheâsready.âRenmetDaneâsstare.Danewasquietandthenhesaid,âSheâdbetterbe.âMy eyes narrowed, but thenRen draped his arm overmy shoulders as he
leanedover,kissingmytemple,andIwasthoroughlydistracted.âFinishup,âhewhispered, brushing his nose along the curve of my cheekbone. âAnd thenhopefullyweâllknowexactlywherethatbastardisbeforelunch.â
Chapter19
Themodeof transportationwasasurprisinglysmartone.Afloristvan,excepttherewerenâtanyflowers.Justabenchrunningalongonesideandtheothersidecontainedchainsboltedintotheside.
Thiswasatruekidnappersâvan.Kalen andDanewere up front. Faye stayed behind out of concern for her
beingrecognizedsincewedidnâtknowifthereâdbefaeworkingthegatesorifthe faewould possibly recognize her right off the bat.The thingwas, if therewerefaeatthegate,theywouldsensewhatKalenandDanewereimmediately.The vanwas to not attract any attention leading up to the gate, but it wasnâtgoingtogetusthroughit.
BeingoutsideofHotelGoodFaewas...God,itwashardtoputintowords,but it hadnât been easy for me. While Faye and the guys walked out of theopeninginthewallbeyondthecourtyardasifitwerenobigdeal,mystomachtwisted like itwasfullofvipers.Everyonehadbeen talking,but Ihadnâtbeenlistening.Iâdstoppedattheopening,myfeetunabletomove.
Renhadplacedhishandonthecenterofmyback.Hehadnâtspoken,butIknewheâdsensedmywariness.Itwasprobablyetchedintomyface.Withhimby my side, Iâd stepped outside the protection of the courtyard and quicklyrealizeditwaswarmerthanthelast timeIâdbeenoutside.Morenormal tempsforOctoberinNewOrleans.
Ithadbeenstrangewalkingoutofthecourtyard,intotheworldthatexistedbeyondtheglamourofHotelGoodFae.EventhoughIknewthatDrakeandhisminionswerefaraway,Ihalf-expectedthemtoappearoutofthinair.
Theydidnât.Apartofmestillwaitedfortheretobesomekindoftrap,forthePrinceto
suddenlyappearand tellusweâdbeenplayed.Theotherhalfofmewanted torunaround,breathinginallthegoodandbadscentsofthecity.
Ididnâtgettodothelastpart.TherewasnâtalotoftimetoprocessthatIwas...free.
âWeârenearingthegate.âKalenpeeredthroughtheopenwindowseparatingthefrontofthevan.
Sittingbesidemeonthebench,Rennodded.âGotit.âKalen closed the door, and I exhaled roughly as I ranmy hands over the
kneesofmytacticalpants.
âYounervous?âRenaskedquietly.Istartedtosayno,butthennodded.âAlittle.BeenawhilesinceIevenwore
apairofpantslikethis.âHisgazeflickeredoverme.âYoulookdamngoodinthem.ââThanks.â I shot him a grin. Truth be told, they were looser than they
shouldâvebeenthismorning,butitfeltgoodpullingthemon.Iquietedwhenthevaneased toastop,hating that Icouldnâtseeanything,
but bothRen and I tensed.His handwent to the iron dagger at hiswaist andminewenttowhereIhadonesecuredtomythigh.Renhadthethornstakeontheinsideofhisboot.
âHithere,âweheardDanespeak.âWehaveanorderforâââWhatthehell?âexclaimedanunfamiliarvoice.Crap.Renunhookedhis dagger just asweheard a car dooropen, followedby a
gruntofpain.Someonecursedandthentherewassilence.We lookedat eachother, knowing it couldmeanone thingor a reallybad
thing.Wehadouranswerquickly.The back door swung open, revealing Kalen with a man slung over his
shoulder.Renshotoffthebench,reachingforhim.âOne fae and thishuman,âKalen said ashe andRen laid thehumanmale
downinthebackofthevan.âHeâsout,butnotdead.Glamoured.Figuredweâdkeephiminherejustincaseanyonecomesalongandseeshimpassedoutinthebuilding.â
âGoodcall.âRenrolledthehumanontohisback.âAndthefae?ââRecognized us immediately.â Kalenâs jaw hardened. âTook him out.â He
looked over to where I sat. âWeâre heading up to the house now. You guysready?â
Inodded.âYeppers.âKalentiltedhisheadandthenshookit.Closingthedoor,thevanrumbledto
lifeoncemoreasRentookhisseatbesidemewhileIstaredattheunconsciousman.
Hewasluckytobealive.âYouknowwhat?â I said,blowingouta longbreath.âIf itwere theOrder
conductingthismission,wouldtheyhaveknockedhimoutorkilledhim?âRen didnât answer for a longmoment. âGuess itwould depend onwho it
was.ââYeah.â That didnât sit well, because even though I knew we werenât
supposedtokillhumans,ithappened.Alot.âIsuppose.âAs the van slowed to a stop oncemore,Ren reached over and curved his
handaroundthenapeofmyneck.âHey.âIlethimturnmygazetohis.âYeah?ââIloveyou.âHekissedmethen,movinghislipsovermineinawaythathad
mytoescurlinginsidemyboots.âYouâregoingtobecareful?âIrestedmyforeheadagainsthis.âAreyou?ââYeah,because Iwant toget you inbed at least onemore timebeforewe
havetohittheroad.âHenippedatmylowerlip.âYoulikethesoundofthat?âI did, so I kissed him back. âThen you better make sure you donât get
yourselfhurt.âHegrinnedagainstmymouth.âWegotthis.ââWedo,âIwhispered,pullingawayfromhimwhenIheardthedriverâsside
dooropenandclose.Movingoffthebench,wewerecarefulnottosteponthepoordudeonthe
flooraswecrouchedatthebackdoor.Secondslater,thedoorslidopenandwehoppedoutintothesunlight.
TherewasnâtanytimetowasteortothinkaboutwhatIhadtodoandwhatwasgoingtobeneededfromme,becauseIknewalready.Itwasingrainedinmybonesandmuscles.Iâdfoughtandhuntedathousandtimes.
Todaywasnodifferent.Ihadthis.RenandIroundedthebackofthevan,rightbehindKalen,justintimetosee
a tall female fae rundown thewide, stone steps.Danemether there. I barelysawhimmove,buthegother.Shestumbledback,shockregisteringonherfaceforamomentbeforeherfeaturescrumpledintothemselves.
Ishotupthesteps,myheartpoundingwith...actualanticipationforbattle.Ithadbeenso long,but thatmixtureof fearandexcitementcouldbeaheady,dangerousmix.Oritcouldsharpenthesenses.
Andmysensesweresharp.Curlingmyhandintoafist,Ibangeditoffthedoublebronzedoorsandthen
steppedback.Iknewwithoutlookingbehindmethattheguyswererightthere.Thedoorinchedopen,andtherewasaglimpseofsilveryskin.AllIneeded
tosee.Iplantedmybootedfootintothecenterofthedoor,kickingitwideopen.Thefaebehindthedoorslidback,losinghisbalance.HewentdownasRenflewpastme.Thefaewasdeadbeforehecouldsoundthealarm.
Butthealarmdidnâtneedtobesounded.As I scanned the wide open foyer, I saw several faeâat least a dozen of
themloungingabout,standingandtalkingintheatriumstyleroom,orwatchingTVfromtherecroombehindthespiralstaircase.
Withthismanyfae,Marlonhadtobehere.
âOh,look.âRenrosewithfluidgrace.âAwelcomeparty.ââYay.âDane flipped a daggerâan iron daggerâin his fae hands.He, like
Kalen,waswearingglovessincethemeretouchofironsingedtheirskin.The welcome party did that creepy hiss thing really pissed off fae were
knownfor.Thentheycharged.TherewasatinypartofmethatwonderedifmaybeIwasnâtready,butpure
adrenalinecoursedthroughmyveins,yearsoftrainingkickingin.Instincttookover.
Stridingacross theSpanish tile, Iunsheathed thedaggersatmy thighsandspun,slammingtheverysharpendintothechestofthefaeonmyright.Yankingthe dagger out, Iwhirled and took out the fae onmy left before the first onefinishedcollapsingintoitself.
Anotherchargedme,and Idipped low,kickingoutandknocking the faeâslegs out from underneath them. I shifted, stabbing the fae in his stomach.Popping up, I darted to the right, just missing what wouldâve been a meanuppercut.Icaughtthatfaeintheback,rightbetweentheshoulderblades.ThenIspun,notevenoutofbreath.
Rencaughtafaewithhishandarounditsneck.Thosebrightgreeneyesofhiswerefocusedonmeas Ishoved thedaggerdeep into thegutof thefaehewasholding.âSofreakinghot.â
Flushing,Igrinned.âIf youguys are done screwing eachotherwith your eyes, headuphere,â
Kalencalledfromhalfwayupthestairs.âGiveusonemoresecond.âRenwinkedatmeashepivoted,slamminghis
shoulderintothefaerushinghimfrombehind.Rollingmyeyes, I tookoff for thesteps, taking themtwoata time.Kalen
reached the second floor, coming face to facewith a very tall, very bald fae.Uneasepowereddownmyspine.ThefaelookedlikeoneoftheKnightsâ
âShit,â hemuttered, and a second later, the fae lifted a hand. The daggerripped free fromKalenâs grasp and slammed into the nearby wall, where thebladetrembledfromtheimpact.
AnAncient.Yep.HewasoneoftheKnightsthathadcomethroughthegatewaythenight
thePrincehadenteredourworld.âYou picked the wrong side as usual, Summer fae.â The Ancient stalked
forwardjustasfootstepspoundedupthestairsbehindme.âAndyouwilldieforit.â
TheAncientswunghisarmtotheside,andwithouteventouchingKalen,hethrewhimintothewall.Drywallcrackedandplumesofplasterflewintotheair.
Kalendroppedtohisknees,obviouslystunned.TheAncientturnedtome,cockinghisheadtotheside.Curiositymarkedhis
featuresatfirst,andthen,understanding.âHalfling?ââHi!âIchirped, launchingintotheair.Ispun,kickingoutandcatchingthe
Ancientinhisstomach.IlandedinacrouchastheAncientstumbledandlosthisbalance,goingdownononeknee.ThesurprisethatfilledhisgazemirroredwhatIfelt.
Anormalkick like thatwouldâve takendownahuman forhours. Itwouldhavestunnedanormalfae,maybeknockedittotheground,butanAncient?Itwouldâvemadethemstumble.
IthadknockedtheAncientdown.Iwasstronger.Rising,Ismiledwidelyasmygriptightenedonthedaggers.âSurprise.Iâm
notyournormalhalfling.ââYouâllbeadeadhalflingsoon.âHeshottohisfeet.âOh,Idonâtknowaboutthat.âCatchingRenâsgazeoutofthecornerofmy
eye,Inodded.WehadtogetpasttheAncientbeforeMarlonescaped.âSortofalreadydidthat.Itdidnâtstick.â
TheAncientstartedtolifthisarm,andIknewwhathewascapableof.Ishotforward,spinningasRendartedpastus.IcaughtsightofDanegrabbingKalenbythearm,liftinghimupastheAncientcaughtmyleg.Hethrewmetotheside.Irolled,bracingmyselffortheimpact.Ihitthefloorhard,butIheldontothedaggersandbreathedthroughthejarringpain.
âNotgoingtofallforthatagain.âTheAncientstartedtowardme.Isprangup.âButyoualreadydid.âHe drew up short and thenwhipped around, but itwas too late. Ren shot
forward,andtheAncientletoutagutturalgroan.YankingthethornstakeoutoftheAncientâschest,Rensmirked.âGuessyouâregoingtodothedyingthing.â
TheAncientâsmouthdroppedopenashestareddownathischest.Ishotpasthim,flippinghimoffaswejoinedtheSummerfaeattheendofthehall.Allthedoorswereopen,theroomsempty.Oneremainedshutattheend.Doubledoors.Obviously,themasterbedroom.
Daneslammedhisshoulderintothedoors,andtheygaveway,flyingopen.IsawMarlonatonce,standingbeforealargebed.Heliftedhisarm,andhishandwasnâtempty.Itheldagun.
AgunthatwaspointeddirectlyatRen.âShit.âMyheart lodged inmy throat. Idarted tomy left,knockingRen to
thesideasthegunshotechoedinthehall.Rencaughthimself andme, throwinganarmaroundmywaist ashis eyes
widenedslightly.Hestraightenedashisgazemetmine.âThanks,Sweetness.âNodding,IpulledawayasIheardthegunfireagain.DaneandKalenwere
onMarlon.Thebullethadfiredharmlesslyintotheceiling.âAgun?âKalenchoppeddownonMarlonâsarm.Thegunfelltotheflooras
DanetwistedMarlonâsotherarm.âThatâskindoftacky.ââIguessyouâvebeen relying tooheavilyonyourguards,because thiswas
fartooeasy.âDanesmileslightly.âPathetic.âMarlon sneered as Danemoved behind him. âYouâre going to regret this.
WhenthePrinceâââThePrinceisnâthere,nowishe?âIwalkedintothebedroom.âSo,heâsnot
goingtodoshit.âMarlonâs gaze narrowed onme asDane clicked iron handcuffs around his
wristandKalenforcedMarlonâsotherarmback.âYouârethatfuckinghalfling.ââThatâsme.âIsmiled,sheathingtheonedagger.âSit,âDane ordered, and thenmade sure theAncient did just that, forcing
himdownontothebenchwithaheavypushonhisshoulder.âLookinglesslikeahalflingandmorelikeafae,âMarlonspitout.âThatâs
interesting.ââI am. Thatâs a long story, but Iâm not here to tell you all about that.â I
hookedtheotherdagger tomythigh.âBecausefrankly, Idonâtcareenoughtotellyou.â
Marlonsmiled,baringhis teeth.âHeshouldâvekilledyou.Heshouldhavewentaheadandfuckedyouandthenkilledyou.â
Ididnâtgetachancetorespondtothat.Renmovedlikeacobrastriking.HisfistslammedintothesideofMarlonâs
jaw,knockinghimtotheside.KalencaughttheAncientasRenknelt,gettinghisfaceright inMarlonâs.âYoureallyneed to thinkwiselyaboutwhatyousay toher.â
âIrememberyou.âMarlonlaughed,andbluish-redbloodtrickledoutofthecornerofhismonth.âYouwereherpet.â
Istiffened.âIcannotwaittokillthatbitch.âMarlon lifted a dark brow as his gaze flickered tome. âYou think youâre
goingtokillher?âHelaughedagain.âYouâreanidiot.ââI nearly gouged her eyes out once.â Anger flowed as I stepped forward.
âIâmgoingtodoitagain.Slowly.ââIsthatso?Sheâllgougeyoursoutanddineonthemasasnack.âIrolledsaideyes.âWhywouldanyonewanttoeateyeballs?Thatâsgross.âKalengrinnedashefistedMarlonâshair,yanking theAncientâsheadback.
âWheredidthePrincego?â
âHeleft?âMarlonreplied.âDonâtplaylikeyoudonâtknow.âIfoldedmyarms.âYouknowdamnwell
heâsnotinthecity.Heleftbecausehefoundanotherhalfling.Andyouâregoingtotelluswherehewent.â
âIs thatwhyyouâvereappearedafteryourdaringescape?âMarlonsnorted.âYouâresobrave.â
Ismirked.âWeâregoingtofindoutjusthowbraveyouare.ââIâmnotgoingtotellyoushit,âMarlonsaid,growlingwhenKalenyanked
onhishair.âYoumayaswellkillmenow.ââOh, youâre going to talk.â Tilting his head to the side, Ren straightened,
thornstakeinhand.âDoyouknowwhatthisis?âMarlonâs gaze flickered over the stake. Therewas a tightening around his
mouth.âIdo.ââAndyouknowwhat itcando toyou?Itcanhurtyou.âRensmiledashe
placedthestakedirectlyabovethefaeâsheart.âItcankillyou.ââSowillthePrinceifheknowsItalkedtoyou.Iâlldieeitherway.âMarlon
swallowed.âKillingmeisnotathreat.âIcouldseethecoldsmilegraceRenâslipsashedrewthestakeupoverthe
centeroftheAncientâsthroat.âDyingistheeasypart.Iâmnotgoingtomakethiseasyforyou.â
AndRendidnât.Itwasnât easyor clean. Itwasbloodyandmessy, andMarlonheldout far
longer than many would have. Hundreds of thin slits covered every inch ofexposedskin,andafewtimes,Iwantedtolookaway,butIforcedmyselfnotto.NotwhenRenwieldedthestakeanddidnâthavetheluxuryofclosinghiseyes.So Imademyselfwatch, and I didnât flinchwhen blood sprayed from a vitalarteryalongtheAncientâsthroat,dottingRenâsfaceandthefrontofmyshirt.Ididnât look away once, and thatâs how I knew deep in my bones that whenMarlonutteredthewordsweâdbeenwaitingfor,itwasthetruth.
âSanDiego,âMarlongasped.âThePrinceleftforSanDiego.âThosewerehislastwords.
Chapter20
WedidnâthavealotoftimealoneoncewereturnedtoHotelGoodFaeandmetwithTannerandcrew.
SanDiego.Itwouldtakewelloveradaytogetthere,roughlytwenty-sevenhours,and
wehadtodrivesincewewerecarryingweaponsandthatwouldrequirewaytoomanyhumanstobeglamouredforustotravelbyair.
BothRenandIneededtoshowersinceneitherofuswantedtohittheroadwithbloodonus,andweprobablydidnâtgetreadyasquickaswecouldhave,because it was someoneâs ideaâRenâsâto shower together, not that I wascomplaining.
How could Iwhen it wasRenwhowashed the smudges of blood offmyface?Orwhen Idid the same forhimaswe stoodunder the steady streamofwater?Iwasthinkingabouthowweneededtogetontheroadwhenhefoundhiswaybehindme in the shower.Andwhenhe got his hand involved, and otherpartsofhisbody,complainingandstrategizingandthinkingingeneralwasthefurthestthingfrommymind.
âWedidgoodtoday,âhewhisperedagainstthesideofmyneck.âWedid.âHekissedthespacebelowmyear.âYouwereamazing,Ivy.âAsmallsmilepulledatmylips.âSowereyou.ââYeah.âHe lifted hismouth frommy neck as his fingers skimmed on the
mostsensitivepartofme.âItwasnâtmy...âIplacedmyhandoverhis,stillinghim.âWasnâtwhat?ââTodaywasnâtoneofmyfinermoments.âMysmilestartedtofade.âWhatdoyoumean?âHewasquietforamoment.âIknewwhatIhadtodotomakeMarlontalk.I
knewwhathewas.Whathewouldâvedonetousifgiventhechance.ButIstilldonâtlikethatIhadtodoit.â
Mychestsqueezed.âButyouhadto.âRendidnât respond,soIstarted to turn tohimbut thehandcurlingaround
myneckstoppedme.Heguidedmyheadback,turningitjusttheslightest,andthenhekissedme,scatteringmythoughts.Thehandbetweenmythighsslidupandhisarmfoldedaroundmywaist.Heliftedmeuponto thevery tipsofmytoes.
Igaspedintohismouthwhenheenteredmefrombehind,thrustingsodeepIthoughtatfirstIcouldnâttakeit,butheprovedthatIcould,againandagain.Wewereaslippery,soapymessasI threwmyarmsout,plantingmyhandsonthewet tile infrontofmeasRenkeptonearmsecuredaroundmywaistandthentheotherwentbetweenmythighsagain.Heworkedmewithhisfingersandhiscock,hisbreathhotonmyneck,hiswordsscorchingmyears.WhenIcame,Ithrewmyheadbackagainsthisshoulder,havinganearoutofbodyexperience.
Twothingssurprisedthehelloutofmeinthatmoment.One,Ihadnâtendeduponmyass,andtwo,evenafterthewholeshowersexthing,Renwasreadytogoagainwhenweweregettingchanged.
SometimesIwonderedifRenwasevenhuman,butIguessedwewerejustmakingupforlosttime.
Andwehadalotofmakinguptodo.Wewerereadywithminutestospare,andIusedthem,stoppingatthedoor
beforeweleft,blockingitwithmybody.Renarchedabrow,ourbagsinbothhands.âWhatareyoudoing?ââIwanttosaysomethingandIwanttohaveyourfullattention.âOne side of his mouth kicked up. âYou always have my full attention,
Sweetness.ââIknow,butIreallywantitrightnow.âItookadeepbreath.âWhatyoudid
today togetMarlon to talkcouldnâthavebeeneasy. Iknow that. Ihadahardtimewatching,butIdid.Iwatched.Thatâsnotthesameasactuallydoingit.â
âNo.âHeexhaledroughly.âItâsnot.ââButyouhadtodoit,Ren.WeneededtoknowwherethePrincewent.You
didwhatyouhadtodoandyoushouldnâtloseamomentofyourselftothat.âHischindipped,andforabriefmomentIwasnâtsurehewouldrespond.âI
wonât.âIwasnâtsureIbelievedhim.âYoupromise?âRenâsgazefoundmine.âIpromise.ââIâll keepyou to that promise,â I swore.Springing forward, I stretchedup
andkissedthecornerofhismouth.Hisarmssweptaroundmeandheheldmetight tohis chest.Severalmoments passedbefore I could forcemyself to pullawayfromhim.âWebettergetgoing.â
âYeah.âHisvoiceroughened.âIfwedonât,wemaynever leave thisroom,apocalypsebabyornot.â
I blushed as I turned, opening the door, knowing heâdmake good on thatratherpleasantwarning.WearrivedinthelobbytodiscoveraratherdecentsizegroupwaitingforusbythedoorsIâdneverseenopenedbefore.Theyappearedtoleadouttothefrontofthebuilding.
DaneandKalenstoodbesideFaye, the threeof themcarryingblackduffelbags,soIassumedtheywerepartofourentourage.Iscannedthegroup,relievedto see thatMerle wasnât there but a little unnerved by the fae faces I didnâtrecognize.
Tinkwastherethough,standingalittlebitapartfromthegroup.Therewasarather large suitcase beside him. Slung over his shoulder was a . . . WonderWomanbackpack. I parted fromRen,walkingup tohim. âWheredidyougetthat?â
âIstoleitfromalittlefaegirl.âHepaused.âHashtagthuglife.ââWhat?âMymouthdroppedopen.âIâmkidding,âhesaid,andIwasnâtsureifIbelievedhimornot.âOrderedit
fromAmazonafewmonthsago.Goesgoodwithmyleotard.âIeyedhimasRenjoinedme,holdingtwopapercupsofcoffee.Hehanded
meonewithawink.âThanks.âThenIfacedTinkagain.âWhydoyouhaveyourbagsdownhere?â
âWhy?âTinkwrinkledhisnose.âWehavenoideahowlongweâregoingtobegoneandIâmnotgoingtowearthesameclothes.â
âYouârenotgoing,Tink.YouârestayingâââIâmnotstayinghere.Hellno.YouâregoingtoSanDiego,andsoamI.You
needme.âFrustrationsnappedatme.âTinkâââDonâtTinkme,â he shot back. âI get that youwant to keepme safe and
sound,butIcanhandlemyself.âIknewhecouldhandlehimself,butIstilldidnâtwanthimputtinghimselfin
danger.âWhataboutDixon?Youcanâtbringhim.ââI know that.Huntingdown thePrince andpossiblykillinghim is not the
placeforanadorablekitten,âhesaid.âBrightoniswatchinghimforme.âMybrows lifted, and then I shookmyheadas I steppedcloser toTink. âI
donâtwantyouindanger.âTink smiled. âIvy-divy, I know that Iâm fucking cute and adorable, but I
thinkyouforgetwhatIâmcapableof.Youguysneedmeonthistrip.âRenlightlytouchedmyarm,drawingmyattention.âAsmuchasthispains
metoadmit,Tinkisright.Wecouldusehim.ââDonât take this fromme.âTink lowered his voice. âYou all are out there
risking your lives. Iâve already spent enough timewatching you leave and dothat.ItâstimeIstepup.â
Iwanted toarguemore,butTinkandRenwereright.Wecouldusehim.Icouldnâttakethatfromhim.Isighed.âOkay.â
âGood.âTinklookedoveratRen.âWait.Haveyoutwostoppedfighting?Oh
myQueenMab,youguysareinloveagain!âMy eyeswidened as I glanced around, seeing that several of the strangers
werewatchinguswithdetachedinterest.âTink...ââWe were never not together,â Ren said, dropping his arm over my
shoulders.The blue and red bag slipped to the floor as he clapped his hands like an
overexcitedseal.âYouguysare!Thisisamazing.ââTink,âIsaidagain,thistimewithalittlemoreforcebehindhisname.âThankthefaerylordsandladies,Iwillnotbeaproductofasplithome.ââFor the last time, we are not your parents, Tink.â I shookmy head as I
startedtoturnbutstopped.âPickupyourbag.âRen leaned in as Tink snatched the bag off the floor. âYou sound like his
mom.ââShutup,âIhissed.âThereyoutwoare.âTannersteppedoutofthehuddle.Hedidnâtlookatme
likeIwasnâtsupposedtobethere.âLetmeintroduceyoutoFabianâsconsuls.âThe strangers stepped forward, and after a blur of very fae-like sounding
namesexceptfor the lastdudewhowasintroducedasFred,I realizedIwouldnotrememberasinglenamefromthispointon.
Eachonesmiledandnoddedkindly,leaguesmorepolitethantheirprince.âWe have three vehicles waiting for you outside,â Tanner said, and Faye
steppedforward,carryingseveralpackages.âEachofuswillhaveaphoneequippedwithGPSthatwillbetrackedfrom
hereincasesomethinghappensandwemustseparate,âFayeexplained,handingmetheenvelope.
Settingmycoffeeon thenearby table, I feltaround theenvelope, touchingfourseparatephones. I figuredTinkwouldbe travelingwithRenandI.âWhyaretherefour?â
âBecauseIwillbejoiningyou.âMyjawclenchedasIturnedaround.Fabianhadarrived,lookingasdashing
asadoorknob.âYeah,youâregoingtoneedtofindadifferentcartoridein.ââIvy,âTinkwhinedinalowvoice.âHewillberidingme.âRenchokedonhiscoffeeandturned,wheezingsoftly.IturnedtoTink.âYouwanttomayberethinkwhatyoujustsaid?ââOh,no.Isaidthatright.ââIfheâsgoingtobeinthecarwithus,hewillnotberidingyouwhileweâre
inthere,okay?âIcouldnâtbelieveIactuallyhadtospeakthosewords.âIthinkIâmgoingtofindwhoFayeisridingwithââ
âOh no.â Ren caught the back ofmy shirt. âYou are not leavingmewith
them.âFabianmoseyedonuptoTink,eyeingthesuitcase.âWhatisinthesuitcase?
Seemsrather...bulkyforclothing.âCometothinkofit,theSummerPrincewasright.Grabbingthehandleofthelargesuitcase,TinklookedoveratFabian.âOur
lastresort.Meaningthissuitcaseisnottobeopenedunlesstheshithasgonesofarsouthweâreuptoournecksinfuckery.â
Rennudgedme.âUh,whatdoyouthinkisinthesuitcase?ââI have no idea, but Iâm thinking I probably should find out.â I started
towardhim,butthedoorsopenedandsunlightpouredin.Justlikeearliertoday,IwasstartledforasecondtoknowthatIcouldjustwalkrightoutofhere.
Andthatâswhateveryonewasdoing.IfollowedRenoutsidetowhereFayeand her crew loaded up into one of the SUVs, Fabianâs consul got in whatappearedtobeafancyPorscheofsomesort,whichleftuswithanSUVthatwasthesizeofasmalltank.
IdidnâtevenattempttotakethekeysfromRen.After loading up the back with the bags Ren and I had hurriedly packed
beforewelefttheroom,Iwalkedaroundtothefrontpassengerseat.Tinktrailedafterme.âDoyouthinkthePrincehasalreadyfoundtheHalfling?â
âIhopenot.â Iopenedup thedoor. âBecause that sureashell complicatesthings.â
âIt doesmore than complicate things.âFabianwatchedme closely. âIf theWinterPrincehasfoundheranddoeswhatweâvefeared,weâllhavetohandleit.â
Istiffened.Renâsfingerscoastedovermywaistashewalkedby.âWewill.âHandleit.I knewwhat thatmeant. I hated it. Because it could easily beme in that
situationâit could bemebeing handled, just likeMerle had saidwhen I firstarrived here.But if the Prince had found theHalfling andmanaged to do thedeed,wehad tostop thebabyfrombeingborn,andIknewthecrewweweretraveling with wasnât going to be down with having a very uncomfortableconversationwiththisHalflingandhopingshevolunteeredtodowhatwouldbetherightthinginthiscase.
IwatchedFabianwalkovertotheothersideoftheSUVandthenmygazeroamedovertotheothercars.
Iknewwhattheyâddo.Theyâdtakethewomanout,noquestionsasked.The ideaofkillingan innocentwomanandherchildsickenedme. Ididnât
wanttodothat.Ididnâtwantanyofustodothat.
Sothatleftuswithonlyoneoption.âWebetterfindherfirst,âIsaid,fillingwithsteelyresolve.âAndmakedamn
sureshedoesnâtgetpregnant.â
Chapter21
WehadnâtevengottenoutofthestateofLouisianaandIwasalreadyreadytoducttapebothTinkandFabianâsmouthsshut.AfewhoursintothetripandIâdlearnedtwothings.
Fabiancouldmakeeverythingsoundlikehewasinsultingme.AndRenhadthismagicalabilitytotuneeveryoneoutandfocusondriving.
Rubbingmyforehead,IstaredoutthewindowaswecruisedondownI-10.Theoutsidewasablurofbuildingsandtrees,andsomehowtheconversationinthebackseathadmovedontomeandmyhair.
âI donât think she can honestly brush it,â Tink was saying. Heâd leanedforwardsohewashalfwaybetween theseats.âBecausewhenshedoes, it justturnsintoagiantpoof.â
Countingtoten,IslidaglanceoveratRen.Afaintsmileplayedacrosshislips,andifhehadnâtbeendriving,Imightâvepunchedhim.
âSoshedoesnâtcombitall?âFabianasked,soundinggenuinelyconfused.Ilookedovermyshoulder.âIcombmyhair,youassholes.âRensnorted.âIâveseenherdoit.Whenitâswet.ââLetâstalkaboutsomethingotherthanmyhair,okay?âIsuggestedbeforeI
climbedintothebackseatlikearabidspidermonkeyandstrangledallofthem.âLikewhat?âTinksatback.âIâmbored.ââYouâreboredalreadyandwehave likeanother twenty-somehours left,â I
remindedhim.Tinkgroaned.âIâmnotgoingtomakeit.ââIcouldentertainyou,âFabiansuggested.âWecouldâââYeah,no,âIjumpedin,becauseIhadafeelinghisversionofentertaining
TinkwasnâtPG-13andIdidnâtwanttowitnessanyofthat.MygazezeroedinontheSummerPrince.HewasobviouslyintoTink,butthefaewereprettymuchintoanythingthatwalkedandhadahole.Awaveofprotectivenessseizedme.âLetâstalkaboutyou,Fabian.â
TheSummerPrincestretchedanarmalongthebackoftheseatandinclinedhishead.âIhavenoproblemwiththat.â
âOfcoursenot,âRenmutteredunderhisbreath.Ifoughtasmile.âHowoldareyou?âThe Summer Prince raised a fair brow. He looked like he was in his late
twenties,but instinct toldmethatwasnâthis realage.âOlder thansomeof the
treesplantedalongthisroad.âSo my suspicions were correct. I glanced at Ren and saw that he was
listening.âThenthatmeansyoufeed,becauseyousureashellarenâtaginglikeTanner.â
âIamthePrince.Alloftheroyalcourtfeeds.ââReally?â I said,myhandballing inmy lap.Thatwas somethingelse that
Tannerhadnotdisclosed.âYoudonât likehearing that.âAsmirkappeared.âAndyetyoufed tosave
yourlife.ââItwasnâtachoiceImade,âIsaid.Tink leaned forward again. âWhat Fabian is leaving out is that they have
peoplewhovolunteertobefedon.Theyârenotbeingforced.âMy brows lifted. âVolunteered or under a compulsion? I remember the
peopleDrakehadinthathouse.Somelookedliketheywantedtobethere,butIdoubtanyofthemknewwhattheyweregettingthemselvesinto.â
A shadow crossedFabianâs expression. âThosewho allow us the honor offeedingfromthemdosoundernocompulsion.Theyknowwhatweare.Theychoosetohelpusaswehelpthem.â
Ididnâtbelievethatforasecond.âAndhowdoyouhelpthem?ââInmycommunity,weprotectthemortalswhoallowustofeed.Theywant
fornothing.Money.Healthcare.Security.âSort of remindedmeof escorts, but I figured Iâdkeep that part tomyself.
âAndtheyknowwhatyouguysarecapableof?Howyoucandrainthemtothepointtheyturnintomindless,psychoticcreatures?â
Hiseyesnarrowed.âWenevertakemorethanweneed.Ifanyofmysubjectswereto,theyâdbeexecutedonthespot.â
âReally?âRenâsgazeflickedtotherearviewmirror.âThatâsprettyhardcoreforaraceofbeingsthathasalwaysputthemselvesfirst.â
âAs ifyouknowanythingaboutour race,âFabian replied. âWehavebeenherefarlongerthanyouknow.Thinkaboutthat.â
âIâmthinkingaboutit,âhereplieddryly.âYouknewnothingof theSummerCourtor thatour courtshave takenup
residency here. There is a reason for that. We do not kill. We do not abusemortals.Believeitornot,weviewthemasequals.â
âI know it sounds hard to believe,â Tink chimed in. âBut heâs telling thetruth.â
âHowdoyouknow?âIasked,eyeingTink.Hemetmygaze.âBecausewhywouldhelie?ââOh,Idonâtknow.Sowedonâtkillhim?âIoffered.
TheSummerPrincesnorted.âIamnoteasytokill.ââYeah, back to that. If youâre the perfect example of a non-homicidal fae
who loves and cherishes humans, thenwhywonât you tell us how toweakenDrake?â
He laughed, and the soundwas too cold for aSummerPrince. âYoudonâttrustme.WhyintheworldwouldItrustyou?YoumaybeahalflingandhemaybeBoyWonderââ
âBoywonder?âRenwrinkledhisnose.âBut theOrder has already betrayed us once,â Fabian continued, his stare
hard.âThefactthatweareworkingwithyounowtostoptheWinterPrinceputsmeandmypeopleatan incredibledisadvantage.Doyou think Ichose to ridewithyoujustbecauseofhim?âHeglancedatTink.âSomeoneneedstokeepaneyeonyoutwoandIwillnotriskanyofmyconsulindoingso.â
Tinkdidnâtlookatallbotheredbythatstatement.âHowdid theOrderbetray theSummerCourt?âRenasked,slidingahand
overthesteeringwheel.âTannermentionedit.Nowyouhave.Weâreinthedarkonwhathappened.â
âYouâre in the dark about a lot of things,â the Prince snarked, and thensmiledwhen I swore Icould feel steamcomingoutofmyears. âDoyoueverthinkaboutthat?âHisgazemetRenâsinthemirror.âReallythinkaboutwhytheOrder and your preciousElite kept somuch from youâfrom the very peoplewilling tokill anddie for themwithout remorseorchallenge?Didanyofyouquestion that perhapsyouwerekilling innocents?That not every faewants torulethemortalworld?Didanyofyouonce,inyourincrediblyshortlives,everaskifyouwerefightingontherightside?â
Uncomfortablewithallthetruthinesshewasspeaking,Iflippedaroundandfaced the windshield. A moment passed, and I glanced at Ren. A musclethrummedalonghis jawashe stared straight ahead.What theSummerPrincequestionedhadstruckachordwithhimtoo.
Howcoulditnot?Heâdbeenright.Weâdkilledanddiedforanorganizationthathadliedtous.Andherewewere,judgingFabianandhiskind.
âWhatdidtheydo?âIaskedquietly,unsureifIwasreadytohearitorifIwantedto.
FabiandidnâtanswerforsolongthatI thoughthemightnever,butthenhedid.âEverythingyouknowispracticallyalie.â
Renâsknuckleswerebleachedwhitefromhowtightlyhewasclenchingthesteeringwheel.âYougoingtofillusin?â
âWe did not start this war with mortals,â he said, looking at the windowwhileTinkwatched him quietly. âWewere not the oneswho broke the treaty
betweenourkinds.âAfrownpulledatmybrow.âWhattreaty?âHe smiled in a way I imagined parents did right before they wished they
could crate train their children. âWe used to be able to travel more freelybetweenourworlds.Somewouldgrabhumansandtakethemback,buttrustme,when they did, it was usually people you would never miss. People whodeservedtheirfate.â
Tinkarchedabrow.âOtherscamewillingly.âHeraisedashoulderinanelegantshrug.âAfterall,
wearebeautifulandmortalsaredrawntobeautifulthings.Thereusedtobealotmorehalflings.â
Ibitdownonmylip.Istillhadnoideaifitwasmymotherormyfatherwhowasthefae.Iâdprobablyneverknow.
âTheOrderhasbeen increationsincewefirstcrossedover,andour treatyremained in effect for hundreds of years. They hunted the ones who killedmortalsinthisworldandleftonesalonewhodidnot,andwhenourworldbegantofalter,andmorefaecrossedover,weworkedtogetherwiththeOrdertoensurewhatwashappeningtoourworlddidnothappentoyours.Weconfidedinthemourweakness.Wesharedoursecretsandhelpedthemsealthedoorways,butintheend,everythingweshowedandtaughtthem,theyusedagainstus.ItwasnotthefactthattheytooktheCrystalfromusthatcreatedtheriftbetweenourtwokinds.DidTannertellyouthat?Iâmsurehedid.Hewouldnâtwanttooverwhelmyouwiththetruth.â
Theinsideofthecarfelticy.âAndwhatisthetruth?âHe turned from the window. âOnce we sealed the gateways, the Order
slaughteredeveryfaethathadfoughtbesidethem,tooktheCrystalweusedtoclose the doors, and then killed our King, ultimately weakening the entireSummerCourtandforcingusintoseclusion.â
Igaspedinsurprise.âWeâdalreadybeenweakened,havinglostourQueenandmybrothermany
decades before in the fightwith theWinterCourt,â he continued. âTheOrderknewthat.Wetrustedthem.â
âWhy?âIaskedafteramoment.âWhydidtheydoit?âFabiantiltedhisheadtotheside.âThatisaquestionwehavewaitedmany
years to have answered. I have a feelingweâll have that answer sooner ratherthanlater.â
Talking abwe reachedout cold-blooded betrayal and what was tantamount tomurdersurekilledthevibeinthecar.TheonlyblessingwasthatitshutTinkandFabianupforthenextseveralhours.
I spent most of the time mulling over what Fabian had said. Initially, Iwantedtodenyeverything,becauseitwashardtoletgoofyearsandyearsofadifferenthistory,butIknewtheOrderhadlied.Weâdseentheevidenceofthat.Thequestionwashowmuchhadtheyliedaboutandwhyhadtheyturnedonthefaethathadbeenhelpingthem?
Ididnâthave theanswers,butwhenwe stoppedabout eighthours into thedrive,somewhereinthenever-endingstateknownasTexas, tofuelupandgetsomethingtoeat,IusedthebriefalonetimewithRentogethisthoughtswhilehepumpedgas.TinkandFabianwereintheconveniencestorethatwasattachedtoa fast food joint.Ourconvoyhad joined themwith theexceptionof the faenamedFred.Hewasjuststaringoutsidetheglasswindowsof theconveniencestore,obviouslytakingwatch.
âWhatdoyouthinkabouteverythingFabianwassaying?âI leanedagainstthepassengerdoor,squintingintothefadingsunlight.
âHonest?âHeshiftedsohewasfacingme.âIdonâtknowwhyheâdlie.Whatwouldthepointbe?â
âI know.â I sighed as I reached up, pushing a curl out ofmy face. âWhataboutthewholefeedingthing?â
âYouandIbothknowtherearepeoplewhoenjoythefeeding.âHepulledthenozzleout.âItâsquitepossiblethattheyhaveaharemofpeoplewillingtogiveawayalittleofthemselvesinexchangeformoneyandprotection.â
Isnorted.Haremofpeople?Forsomereason,IpicturedabunchofpeoplebarelyclothedfanningtheSummerPrincewithpalmfronds.
âAnd to be honest, I donât even knowwhere I stand on that.A couple ofmonths ago? I wouldâve been dead set against it, but now? Everything haschanged.âPlacing thenozzleback,hebrushedhishandsonhispants.âI thinkweâvegottoletgoofsomeofourbeliefs.â
Inoddedslowly.âIthinkyouâreright.ââIâmalwaysright,donâtyouknow?âIsnorted.âKeeptellingyourselfthat.âGrinning,hestoppedinfrontofme.âProcessingeverythingweâre learning
about theOrder isnâteasy.Makesyou thinkabout . . .aboutsomeof thestuffweâvedone.â
Mystomachshiftedunsteadily.âYeah,itdoes.âNamelyitmademethinkabouthowmanyinnocentfaeImightâvekilledin
thepast.ItwasnâtlikeeveryfaeIâdhuntedhadbeencaughtred-handed.Some
hadrunfromme.AndIchasedthemdownlike...likeananimalandkilledthem.âHey,âRensaidsoftly,drawingmyattention.I lookedupandsawconcern
poolinginhisgaze.âWhereisyourheadatrightnow?ââJust thinking aboutwho Iâvehunted. If theywere innocent or not.Like I
couldâvemurderedâââStop.âHe leaned in, eye to eyewithme. âWe canât go back and change
what we did.Weâve got to live with that and deal with it. Doesnât mean itâseasiertodealwith.Justmeansweâvegotto.â
I found myself nodding again, because he was right.We couldnât changewhatwedidordidnâtdo.âWecanonlychangewhatweâregoingtodo.â
âExactly,âhereplied,lookingovertheroofoftheSUV.âYouwanttoheadinwithmeorhangouthere?â
âHangouthere.âRendippedhis chin, kissingmy temple and then the cornerofmymouth.
âWhatdoyouwantmetograbyoutoeat?Anddonâtsaynothing.Youhavenâteateninhours.â
âThatâsbossy.âHekissedmethenandwhenhepulledback,henippedatmylowerlipina
waythatsentajoltrighttoalltheinterestingparts.âWhatdoyouwantmetogetyou?â
âAburgerandsomefries,âIrelented.ââOn it,â he murmured before kissing me again, and then he was off,
swaggeringacrosstheparkinglot.Hedidendupgettingmeaburgerandfries,andIate itâallof itâexcept
thetomato,becauseew.Renhadtakenthelimpslicefromme,slappingitdownontopofhisburger.
The burger and fries sat weirdly in my stomach, and afterward, a briefcraving for somethingmore hitme. Itwas almost likewanting a smoke afterdinner, but I focused on Ren, Tink, and Fabian, who were arguing about thespeedlimitofallthings,untilthecravingpassed.
Somewhereinthemiddleofthenight,Tinkfellasleep,andsodidFabian.Ioffered to take over driving, butRenwas insistent to keep going. I ended updozingoffwithRenâshandrestingonmythigh.
Itwas the suddenpitching forwardmotionandRenâs armsmackingme inthechestthatwokemehourslater.Igrunted,myeyesflyingopen.
All I saw at first was the dark road and the faint glow of red taillights.âWhatâsgoingon?â
âFaye has stopped up ahead.â Ren reached for the cellphone as Tink and
Fabianstirredtolifeinthebackseat.âSheshouldnâtbestopping.âIlookedoutthewindowandsawliterallynothingbutdarkness.âWhereare
we?ââAbout to cross into Arizona.â He lifted the phone to his ear. âThe other
groupisaheadofââLights flipped on several yards ahead, the glaring intensity blinding as it
piercedtheblackness.Fabianwassuddenlyleaningbetweenthetwofrontseats.âWhattheâ?âThenightaireruptedingunfire.
Chapter22
At first allofuswere frozen, so shockedby the sound rippingapart thenightsky.Thegunfirehadnâtreachedus,butthatmeantnothing.Bulletscouldtravelquitesomedistance.
âSomeoneisshootingatthem!âTinkallbutflailedbehindme.âLetmeout.OhmyQueenMab,letmeout!âHerattledthedoorhandle.âIamsogoingtokillthemshootingatmynewfriends!IâmgoingtogofullTinkonthem!â
âYouhitthechildprooflocks?âIasked.âDamn straight.âRenwhipped around. âI need both of you to stay in this
damncaruntilweknowwhatthehellwearedealingwith.âFabianleanedforward.âIamaprince.IcanââRenslammedonthegasandjerkedintotheleftlaneasecondbeforeIsaw
thecargunninginourdirection.âHolyChrist,âIshouted,grabbingthehandleabovethewindow.The car came out of nowhereâout of the damndesert!The engine of the
SUVroaredaswegainedspeed,nearingwhereFayewastrapped.âI donât give a fuckwhat you are,âRen said. âBut ifweâre being shot at,
thenthereâsagoodchancetheyknowwhoisinthesecars.Meaning,thosearenâtregularbulletsinthoseguns.â
Understandinghitme.âYouthinkitâstheOrder?ââWhoelsewouldbeshootingatusinthemiddleofthenight,inthemiddle
offuckingnowhere?ââIf thatâs thecase, thentheyknewwewerecoming.âRightnow,wedidnât
havetimetoreallydelvedeepintothattheory.âWeneedyoualive,âRenwastellingFabian.âTrytostayinthiscarandnot
getdead.Becauseprettysureabullettotheheadisgoingtoputyoudownlongenoughforthemtotakethatbigheadoffyourshoulders.â
âItwould,butIamfasterthanabullet.ââCanyoubothjuststaywhereyouare?âIdemanded.âAtleastââOur back window exploded without warning. Glass shot through the car.
Spinninginmyseat,Isawthestrangestdamnthingever.FabianhadTinkpinneddownontheseat,coveringTinkâsbodywithhis.Okay.Fabianhadjustearnedsomebonuspoints,butwasTinkhurt?âTink?ââIâmdoingjustdandy,âhecalledout,voicemuffled.
âGetdown,Ivy.âRenreachedformewithonehand,yankingmedownsoIwasflattenedonthecenterconsole.
âWhataboutyou?âIprotested.âIâllbefine.ââThatâssoâââThereâsagunintheglovecompartment.âRenrubbedmyback.âGetit,but
staylow.âMuttering under my breath, I inched over and yanked open the glove
compartment.Reachinginside,IgrabbedtheGlock.Itwasheavyinmypalm.As Order members, we were trained in guns too, but we didnât use them
often,usuallypreferringthemorequietstab-you-to-deathmethod.âIcanshoot.ââGivemethat.ââScrewthat,âIhissed.âYouâredriving.ââI can multi-task.â He pushed down on my back just as my window
shattered.Igaspedasglasspingedoffmyback.âRen.âHishand fisted thebackofmyshirt.Tires squealedashe slammedon the
brakesagain.âIâmfine.Handmethegun,Ivy.âCursingundermybreath, I brokeRenâs hold andpoppedup inmy seat. I
whippedtowardthebrokenwindow,ignoringthecrunchingglass.Extendingmyarm,Ifiredseveralshotsatthesedanspinningoutinfrontofus.
âDammit!âRenshouted,grabbingaholdofmyshoulderagain,pushingmebackdown.âAreyououtofyourmind?â
âAreyou?âIdemanded.âYoucanâtdriveandshootatthesametime.YouârenotJamesBond.â
âLethimbeJamesBond,âTinksaidfromwherehewasplasteredtotheseat.âLethimââ
Thebackright-sidewindowblewout,peltingFabianas theshardsofglassflewsideways.
Ipeeredupthroughtheseats,noticingthatthesedanwasnowbehindusasweblewpast thecarFayewas in.Rencutbetween the two, leaving the road.Theride turnedbumpyasheswerved to the left. I felt theSUVgoupon twowheelsaswespunout.
âTheyârebehindusagain,âFabianadvisedrathercalmly.âIdobelievetheyeitherintendonshootingusuntilwedieorcausingustocrash.â
Dust poured through the shatteredwindows. Fabianwas right. Theywereobviouslytryingtokillallofus.
Cursingagain,IroseasRenshoutedatme.âStaydown!âIyelledatFabian.The faeâs eyeswidened as I leveled the gun over his head and pulled the
trigger. The sedan behind us suddenly veered to the left, fishtailing until itskiddedtoahaltyardsaway.
âHolycrap,âIwhispered.âIthinkIgotthedriver.ââThatâsmygirl,âRenmurmuredasecondbeforeyankingmebackdown.Takingout thedriverdidnât stop this.Therewereprobablymorepeople in
the car. Faye and crew were trapped, because their cars hadnât moved.Whoknewiftheywereevenalive?Weneededtobringoutthebigguns.Andwedidhaveoneâoneweneededaliveattheendofthis,butonewhocouldprobablyunleashtheKrakenonthesebastards.
âStopthecar.ââWhat?âRendemanded.Iwiggledoutfromunderhishand.âStopthecar!âHe glanced atme, andwho knewwhat he saw inmy face, but he strung
togetheranimpressivestringoff-bombsbeforehittingthebrakes.I stared into the back seat. âCanyou take outwhoever else is in that car?
Andcanyoudoitwithoutgettingkilled?âFabianturnedhisheadfromTinktome.Hesmiled.âIamcapable.ââThendoit.Iâllprovidecover.âBeforeRencouldstopme, I threw thedooropenandslippedout,keeping
low.âWhatthehellareyoudoing?âdemandedRenasheclimbedoutoftheSUV.âProviding thenecessarydistraction.â I crept along the sideof thevehicle.
âStopworryingaboutme.Icantakecareofmyself.Youneedtodothesameandthatâstogetadamngun.â
Heglaredatmeforamoment,andthenIliketothinkherealizedhewasnâtgoingtowinthisargument.âThereâssomegunsintheback.Ivyââ
âIâdgetoneofthemjustincasethisgoessouth.âRising,Iheadedtowardtheidlingsedanandopenedfire.âNow,Fabian!â
ThebackdoorblewupandoutshottheSummerPrince.Hestalkedpastme,hishairliftinginthesuddenhotwindthatswirledacrossthedesertfloor.Ikeptfiringuntil Iwasout, tossing thegunasideasFabian letouta roar thatdidnâtevenremotelysoundhuman...orfae.
A yellowish glow rippled from his body, encasing him in light until helooked like thesunhadrisen in thenight just forhim. In thedistance, IheardRenopeningtheSUV,butIcouldnâtpullmyeyesfromFabian.
Cardoorsonthesedanflewopen.Twoâno,threepeopleflewout.Icouldseethemliftingtheirhands.Guns.Shit.
The air aroundFabianwarped and then expanded.Hairs all overmybodyliftedasItookastepback,awayfromhimjustasaburstofunnaturalpowerleft
hisbody,shootingacrosstheclearingandslammingintothesedan.Thecar shotup into theair, sendingat least twopeople flying indifferent
directions.Theylandedinfleshythudsjustasthecarexplodedinathunderouscrack,burstingintoflameslikeadamnfireballhadhitit.
âHoly crap,â I stumbled back, reaching for my dagger. Iâd never seenanythinglikethat.
Fabianshotforward,ablurofspeed,reachingthefirstpersononthegroundbeforeIcouldevenblink.Hecaughtthefirstguyaroundtheneck,snappingitwithinaheartbeat.HeturnedonthesecondmanâamanIcouldseewasdressedinallblack.TheSummerPrinceplacedhishandonthemanâshead.
Andthatwasit.Theman dropped the gun, screaming as he lurched back. Flames erupted
overhisbodylikehewasavictimofspontaneouscombustion.Fabian laughed as he whirled, zeroing in on the thirdman, who was still
standing.Heturnedtorun,butdidnâtmakeitveryfar.Fabianwasonhiminasecond,andthesmellofcharredfleshreachedme.
IkeptwalkingbackwarduntilIbumpedintotheSUV.Iturned,findingRenstandingtherewithaguninhishand.âMaybe...maybeweshouldâvelethimoutofthecarearlier.â
âGoodGod,âhemurmured,eyeswide.ThekindofpowerthePrincecouldwieldwasbeyondfrightening.Aweapon
ofmass destructionwith pointy ears, and apparently a hard-on forTink. If hewascapableofthis,whatexactlywastheWinterPrincetrulycapableof?
Tinkpeekedhisheadupoverthewindow.âThatwaskindofhot.Literally.Figuratively.â
Iturnedtohim.âIthinkyoushouldbereally,reallycarefulwithhim.ââWeneed toget to theothers.âRenhandedmeanothergun. âThereâs still
gunfirebackthere.âIturnedjustintimetoseeFabiantakingoutthementhatwerethrownfrom
thecar.MystomachturnedasIfacedRen.âPleasebecareful.Donâtgetshot.âRengaveme a devilish smile. âKeepyourself in onepiece, becausewhen
this is over I have a lot of ideas on how I want to work out some of theadrenalinethisfightisgoingtogiveus.â
Ohmy.Thatwasdefinitelygreatmotivationtostayalive.Stretching up, I grabbed his chin and brought hismouth tomine. I kissed
himwith everything I had inme, and itwas harsh and fierce.When I pulledback,Ialmostdidnâtwanttolethimgo.âIloveyou.â
Hishandbrushedovermyhip.âProveittomelater.â
ThenRenwasgone,rushingaroundthesideoftheSUV,towardtheglaringheadlights.
IspuntoTink.âStayâââDonât.â He opened the door, forcingme to take a step back. âIâm not a
child,Ivy.Icantakecareofmyself.Trustme.ââI know youâre not a child, Tink.â Another rapid succession of gunfire
echoedacrossthehighway.âButthisisreallydangerous.ââIknow.âHeclosedthedoorbehindhim.âButIcanhelp.So,ifyouwantto
cancelAmazonPrime,thendoso,butIâmnotstayinginthiscarwhileallofyouriskyourlives.â
There was a shout, and I could hear footsteps pounding off the ground.ArguingwithTinkwasjustgoingtogetusbothkilled.âStayclosetoFabian.â
Awildgrinwhippedacrosshisface.âDonâthavetotellmetwice.âAsTinkshotpastme,Iwhippedaroundandsawamanracingtowardme.I
didnât recognize him, but hewas definitely human.He lifted a hand, and themoonlightglintedoffadagger.
AnOrdermember.Crap.Hechargedforward,andIdippedlow.Springingup,Ispunandslammedmy
footintohisback.Therewasasickeningcrunchthatstartledme.Themanwentdown,twitchingandspasming.âWhat the . . . ?â I stumbledback, shocked that a simplekick to theback
would...ohGod.Iwasstrongernow.HowcouldIkeepforgettingthat?Akick to the back had broken themanâs spine.My stomach churned as I
spun,andIdidnâthave timetoreallyprocess that.Asecondmanracedatme,andIsidesteppedhisattack.Hewhirled,butIcaughthisarm.Twistingsharply,Iwincedatthecrackanddesperatelyignoredthemanâsyelpofpain.Hedroppedthedagger.
âIdonâtwanttokillyou,âIsaid,puttingpressureonthemanuntilhewentdown on his knees. I seriously didnât want to. Killing humans, well, it wasnothinglikekillingfae.Theydidnâtcaveintothemselveslikefaedid.Instead,itwasbloodyandmessyandstuckwithyoulongafterthedeedwasdone.âSo,ifIletgo,youâregoingtobehave,right?â
The man gasped out a harsh laugh. âYou better go ahead and kill me,becauseifyouletmeup,Iâmgoingtotakeyouout,youbitch.â
âWow.â I increased pressure out of spite. âIâm holding your broken arm,dude.â
âKillme,âhegaspedout.âGoaheadanddoit,youtraitorouswhore!â
Myjawclenchedassomeone in thedistanceshouted.Therewasa flareoforange light, and I assumedFabianwas lighting some people up in theworstpossibleway.âYouâreanOrdermember.â
âJustlikeyouwere,âhesaid,twistinghisheadtotheside.âButyoubetrayedus.â
âIdidnâtbetrayshit.Howdidyouknowwewereouthere?ââHowdoyouthink?YouââHelurched,grabbingthedagger.Icursedasheswipedbehindhim.Lettinggo,I jumpedoutof theway.He
stumbledtohisfeet.âWhateveryou thinkaboutme iswrong. Ihavenâtbetrayed theOrder. Iâm
tryingtostopââHecameatmelikeafreighttrain,andinstincttookover.Ididnâtwanttokill
him,but I alsodidnâtwant toget stabbed todeatheither. I alreadyknewhowsuckythatfelt.
Shootingforward,Ishovedmyotherdaggerintohischest,betweentheribs.IyankeditoutasIwhispered,âIâmsorry.â
Hedidnâtspeakashefellforward.Swallowinghard,IshotaroundtheSUV,backtowardtheheadlights.Ikept
tothedark,racingtowardthecarthePrinceâsconsulhadbeenpackedinto.Bulletholeslinedtheentireside.Windowsweregone.Mystepsslowed,and
theburgerIateearlieralmostendedupontheground.Allofthem...theywereslowlycollapsingintothemselves,theirpaleeyes
widewith terror and pain, skin peeling and flaking away.Mouths gone. Theycouldnâtmakeasound.
âGod,âIgasped, lookingawayfromthesightandthenback.MygazemetFredâs.Ididnâtknowwhattosay,butIsawit...Isawitinhisgaze.
Hewaspleadingwithme.Ilookeddownatthedagger,knowingwhathewantedâknowingthatIcould
endthisforthemquickly.Everythinginsidemerebelledagainsttheidea,whichwassocrazy.Icouldkillduringbattle,butIwashavingahardtimecarryingoutamercykilling?Itwasdifferentthough.
Brieflysqueezingmyeyesshut,IforcedmyselftowomanupandthenI...Ididit.Itookcareofallofthem,andwhenIwasdoneIwantedtobedonewithallof this,because theirpain-strickenfacesandknowledge in theireyes that Iwassendingthembacktoaworldthatwasdyingwouldhauntmefortherestofmydays.
Butitwasfarfromover.Iturned,comingtoanabrupthaltwhenIsawFabianstandingthere,staring
intothecar.âIhadtoââ
âIknow.âHisgazeshiftedtome.âThankyou.ââDonât sayââ I saw movement over his shoulder and reacted without
thought,firingthegun.FabianwhirledwithagaspjustasanotherOrdermemberwentdown.
âDonâtthankmeforthat,âIsaid,thentookofffortheothercarâtowhereInolongerheardgunfire.
Tinkwasupahead,havingnotstayedclosetoFabian.Hewaskneelingnexttosomethingâsomeoneâandhewasshirtless.
FayeâhewasnexttoFaye.âIsshe...?ââIâmfine.Didnâtgethitbyabullet,butapieceofglassnearlyseveredmy
arm,âsheanswered,voicestrained.ItwasthenthatIsawTinkwaswrappinghisshirtaroundherbicep.âIâllheal.Daneis...heâsdead.â
Pressureseizedmythroat.Shit.âKalen?ââHeâswithRen,âTinkanswered,notlookingup.âIâmstayingwithher.âIstartedforward,butIstopped.âIâm...IâmsorryaboutDane.âFayeclosedhereyes.Drawinginadeepbreath,Istartedrunning.Upaheadwasatruck,thekind
that had running lights on top. Iwas careful to be quiet, but itwas pointless.Therewasanothercarin-betweenus,onethatlookedlikeithadjustarrivedonthescene.TherewasnâtevenapartofmethathopedtheywereonTeamNotKillUs.Ijustknewbetter.
Thedoorsopenedup,andfiveclimbedout.Five.Great.Ididnâtseeguns,soatleasttherewasthat.Fabianwassuddenlybehindme.
Theoddsstartinglookingalotbetter.ArushofadrenalinecoiledtightasIshotforward,reachingthefirstOrder
member.Shedoveatme,butIshotunderherarm,fasterthanshecouldtrack.Icameupbehindher,andIshuteverythingdowninsideme.Ididnâtthinkaboutherbeing ahumanor thatweused tobeon the same side. I didnâtwonder iftheyâdstillbefightingmeiftheyknewhowmuchtheOrderhadlied.Ihadtoformetodothis.IcouldnâtthinkaboutthefactthatIwaspullingthetriggerandshootingherrightinthechest.
Swingingaround, I caught another in thebackwithmyboot, andhewentdownononeknee.Ibroughtthedaggerdown,wrenchingitbackoutwhenIhitthetarget.
Hearingpoundingfootstepscomingfrombehindme,Ispunandjumpedtotheside,narrowlymissingadaggertothechest.Istartedtotwist,butthemanâsnecksnappedtotheside.Hefell,revealingFabian.
âThanks,âIgasped.
âIowedyou.âFabianmadequickworkoftheremainingmembers,clearingapathformeto
makeit towhereIhopedRenwasstillstanding.Inearedthegrillof thetruckwhen a form stepped out. I lifted the gun, prepared to blow a hole straightthroughwhoeveritwas.
Kalenliftedhishands.âItâsmeâjustme.ââCrap.âIloweredthegun.âIcouldâveshotyou.WhereâsRen?âThefaejerkedhishead.âHeâsgotoneofthem.âApparently,Renwas theonlyonewhohad the intelligence to leaveoneof
themalive.IfollowedKalenaroundthesideofthetruck,keepinganeyeoutforotherOrdermembers.
IsawRenandwantedtotacklehimoutofrelief.Imanagednottodothat,mainly because he had a gun pointed at someone, and I figured a tackle-hugwouldnâthelpthesituationatthemoment.
âNow that Ivyâs joiningus, Iâmhopingyouâre going to changeyourmindand start talking.â Renâs voice was as hard as granite. âSheâs got way lesspatiencethanIdo.â
IsmirkedasIreachedhisside.Mygazefollowedtowherethegunpointed,andIhadtolookdownbecauseRenhadwhoeveritwasontheirknees.IgaspedasIrecognizedthedark-hairedman.
EverymuscleinmybodylockedupasIstareddownatthemanwhoâdkilledRenâsbestfriend.ThemanwhooversawtheEliteandhadcometoNewOrleanstohuntmedown.
KyleClare.
Chapter23
Kyle didnât change his mind. Not that I was entirely surprised. As Ordermembers,wewerepracticallybredtokeepourmouthsshutifwewerecapturedbytheenemy.
AndtoKyle,weweretheenemy.So,weweregoingtohavetomakehimtalk,likewehadwithMarlon,and
thatwasnâtexactlysomethingIwaslookingforwardto.EvenifKylewasagiantprickwhoneededahealthydoseofkarma.
Since it was only a matter of time before our little showdown along theinterstatewouldbeseenbysomeunsuspectingpersonwithterribleluck,wehadtogetoff theroadandsomeplacesafewherewecouldquestionKyleandfindouthowtheyknewweâdbeenheadingtoSanDiego.
Who was left of our group piled into the SUV, including a tied up andgaggedKyle.Wemade it tosomecreepy-ass roadsidemotelwhereInormallywouldnâteventhinktwiceaboutstaying,buttheyhadvacanciesandlookedlikethetypeofplacethatwasusedtohearingscreamsinthemiddleofthenight.
WepaidcashforthreeroomsandstuckKyleinthemiddleone,gaggedandbound tooneof thoseuncomfortabledeskchairs. Itwas justRenand I in theroomwithhim.Wefiguredhavinganyof thefae therewouldnâtenticehimtoplaynice.
Besides,Kalenwasouttheresomewheredumpingourdamagedvehiclesandgetting us new rides, and Fayewas resting so her armwould heal. I guessedKalenwasgoingtoglamoursomeoneintohandingovertheirkeys,andIreallydidnâthavethebrainspacetodecideifthatwasrightorwrong.
Renstooddirectlyinfrontofhim,armsfoldedoverhischest.âIâmabouttoremovethatgagandIâmhopingyouâresmartenoughtonotmakealotofnoise.â
KyleglaredupatRen,andIhadnoideaifhewasgoingtobesmartenoughornot.
âWe want to talk to you and we need you to listen,â Ren said, steppingcloser.âWeâreonthesameside.â
AmomentpassedandthenKylenodded.Renremovedthegag,andthefirstthingoutof theoldermanâsmouthwas,âWearenâtonthesameside,boy.Westoppedbeingonthesamesidethemomentyourealizedwhatshewasandyoudidnâtputherdown.â
Iarchedabrow.âThisisgoingtobealovelyconversation.â
Kyleâsdarkgazeshot tome.âShouldâve listened tomygut thefirst timeImetyou.HearingstoriesofyoufightingthePrinceandsurviving?Bullshit.â
âContrarytowhatyoubelieve,IdidfightthePrinceandIdidsurvive.Notonlythat,Iwasthenkidnappedagainstmywill,andIstillsurvived.âIheldhisgaze.âIdidnâtknowIwastheHalfling.â
Hesneered.âLikethatmatters.ââI guess it doesnât,â I mused, âbecause Iâm sure you put down a lot of
halflingsinyourday,peoplewhohadnoideawhattheywereorwhyyouwerekillingthem.â
âWhydonâtyouaskhimhowmanyhekilledbeforehemetyou?âRenstiffenedinfrontofme.âHedidnâthavetheballstotakeoutNoah.Oryou,apparently.âKylesmiled.
âButheâskilledâââShutup,âIspat.âThoughtyouwantedmetotalk?âHeleanedforwardasfarastheropeRen
foundGodknowswherewould lethim.âHowdoes itmakeyou feelknowingthat the very reasonhe came toNewOrleanswas to put a bullet between theeyesoftheHalflingâtokillyou.ButIguessyouâvegotagoldenpussy,becauseââ
RenmovedsofastIbarelysawhisfistconnectwithKyleâsface,knockinghisheadbackandthechairupontwolegs.Renâsjawwassoharditcouldcrackstoneashestoodthere,staringdownatKyle.
I stepped forward. âJust so you know, I like the idea ofmy vagina beinggolden.Thatâsnotaninsult.â
âYeah, youwouldnât.âKyle spit out amouthful of blood. âThe lighting isshitinhere,butIseeyou.â
IhadafeelingIknewwhathemeantandIrealizedIdidnâtcare.Ithitmelikeaspeedingtrain,but itwaswhat itwas.IknewI lookeddifferent. Iknewwhatitmeant,andIdidnâtcare.âIdonâtgiveashitwhatyousee.â
âHow? How did you hide what you really looked like?â he demanded.âBecauseIknowdamnwell ifDanielsawyouforwhatyoureallyare,hestillwouldnâtbedefendingyou.â
MyheadcockedtothesideasRenglancedbackatme.âDanielisdefendingme?â
Foramoment,IdidnâtthinkKylewasgoingtoanswer.âHedidnâtwanttobelieveyoubetrayedtheOrder.Obviously,hewaswrong.â
âI didnât betray the Order.â I paused. Daniel still believing in me wassurprisingly great news. My lips pursed. âWell, killing those Order memberswhoattackedusprobablyranksupthereinthebetrayaldepartment,butwewere
defendingourselves.âKyle stared at me. His left eye was swelling, an injury I guessed had
occurredoutbythecars.âYoulooklikeagoddamnfae.Youâredisgusting.âStrikinglikelightningoncemore,RenâsfistconnectedwithKyleâsstomach.
The contact echoed throughout the room. He caught Kyle by the shoulder,stopping the chair from toppling backward. âI think you meant to say sheâsbeautiful,butIunderstand.Wordswereneveryourforte.â
âDoing your dutywas never yours.â Kyle looked up at Ren and laughed.âNowwasit?â
Theywereeyetoeye.âYouknowdamnwellIdidmydutyoverandfuckingover.â
âButnotwhenitcounts.ââYouârewrong.Whenitcounts,Iâmdoingtherightthing.âRensteppedback
asthechairrighteditself.âWeârenotheretotalkaboutwhatIwassupposedtodo.Howdidyouknowwherewewere?â
Kylespitoutmoreblood.âGofuckyourself.ââLanguage,âRenmurmured,lettinghisarmshangathissides.The leaderof theElite laughed,and it soundedwet.âWhat informationdo
youthinkyouâregoingtogetfromme?YouandIbothknowhowthisisgoingtoend.â
Iglancedbetweenthetwo.âHowisthisgoingtoend?âKyleâsupperlipcurled.âHeâsgoingtokillme.âLookingatRen,Iwaitedforhimtoanswerandwhenhedidnât,Idecidedit
wastimetostepin.âOkay.Letâsgetthistrainbackontrack.DoyouknowthePrincehasfoundanotherhalfling?â
AmuscleflexedalongKyleâsrapidlybruisingjaw.âNoshit.ââSo,diditeveroccurtoyouthatifthePrincewasenroutetoSanDiegofor
another halfling, that maybe I wasnât on board with getting pregnant andusheringintheendoftheworldasweknowit?â
Anothermoment passed. âDoesnât changewhat you are or the danger youpresent.â
I exhaled noisily. âOkay. Iâll give you that. Butwhy do you thinkwe areheadingtoSanDiego?DonâtyoudaresaytojoinupandmeetwiththePrince,becauseImightjustpunchyou,andguesswhat?IhitahellofalotharderthanRendoes.â
âYouâretravelingwithabunchoffae,âhereplied.âPrettysureitâsobvious.ââWeâre trying to stophim,youdumbsonof abitch.âRenmoved to stand
behindKyleâs chair. âBut you kind of got in theway, delaying us.You betterhopehehasnâtfoundher.â
âTheOrderinSanDiegohasbeenwatchingforhim.Wearenâtstupid.âRen clapped his hands down on Kyleâs shoulders, causing him to jump.
âThatâsupfordiscussion.âA little bit of hope that we werenât too late sparked in my chest. âThey
havenâtseenthePrinceyet?âKylesaidnothing.âThatdoesnâtmeanthePrinceisnâtthere,thathehasnâtalreadyfoundher.â
Renâshands curled, digging into themanâs shoulders. âAndwhileyouâreherebarkingupthewrongdamntree,heâsgettingexactlywhathewants.â
âYouknowwehave almost no time to stop him from succeeding,â I triedagaintoreasonwiththeman.âYoudonâthavetolikewhatIam.Youcanthinkwhateveryouwant,butbynowyouhavetohaverealizedweârenotworkingforthePrince.â
âButyouâreworkingwiththefae.ââAndthisisnâtthefirsttimetheOrderhasworkedwiththefae.âRensmiled
whenKylewinced.âYouwanttotalkaboutthat?âKylefellsilent.âThatâs the interesting thing about all of this.âRenâs hands slippedoff his
shoulders,nearingthemanâsthroat.âYoutalktomeaboutduty,butyouallareabunchofdamnliars.DidyoueverthinkoneofuswouldnâtcrosspathswiththeSummerCourt and learn about how theOrder and theEliteworked alongsidethem?Howtheyhelpedclosethegateways?Howtheydonâtkillhumansorfeedoffthem?â
Well,exceptfortheroyals.Theyfed,butIthoughtitwasbestwekeptthattoourselvesatthemoment.
Hiseyesflashed.âYouallweretrainedtokill,nottoaskquestionswiththefaewhileyoushareteaandbiscuits.â
Mybrows lifted. âTheOrder lied tousâallofusâandcontinue todo so,becausetheythoughtnoneofuswouldevertalkandlistentooneoftheSummerfae?â
âWorkedsofar.âIstaredathimamoment,dumbfounded.âThatisabsolutelystupid.âKylegaveme a bloody smirk. âOrdermemberswerenever trained to talk
andlistentothefae.Youweretrainedtostrikefirst.Always.ââAgain,âIsaid.âThatisstupidandsloppy.ââYouknowwhatâsstupid?Youthinkingyouâregoingtomakeitoutofthis
alive.ââShaking inmyboots.â I rolledmyeyes. âIâmguessingyouputabulletin
outonus,andwewerespotted.Thatâswhyyoufoundus.â
âProbably in Texas,â Ren agreed, sliding one hand around Kyleâs neck.âWhen we stopped to grab food. Iâm also guessing the sect in SouthernCaliforniaisgoingtobelookingoutforus.â
Themanvisiblyswallowed.Hemayactlikehewastoughshit,buthewasscared.
Kyle dragged in a deep breath as Ren let go and stepped back. âIâve gotnothingtosaytoyouall.â
âItâsokay.âIsmiled.âBecauseyoudidtellussomethingwecanuse.âKyleâseyesnarrowed.âIhavenâttoldyoushit.ââOh,youdid.â I laughedsoftlyasRenâsgaze lifted tomine.âYou toldme
exactlywhoweneedtocontact.Daniel.âHisgazewidenedwithunderstanding.âSo...âIliftedmyhand,extendingmymiddlefinger.âThanksforthat.âTherewerenowordstodescribethesatisfactionIfeltwhenhisfacepaled.
âGoaheadandkillme.ââIâd love to do that for you.âRenwalked past him, smacking him on the
backoftheheadintheprocess.âButwhatdoesthatdobutproveyourightthatweâretheenemy?â
I looked at him sharply, butmanaged to stay quiet. Based on the look onKyleâsface,hewasjustassurprisedasIwas.
RensmileddownatKyle.âLeavingyoualivewillhopefullygetthroughthatthickskullofyoursthatweâreonthesameside.Iwonâthaveyourbloodonmyhands.NeitherwillIvy.â
Chapter24
Smotheringayawn,IfollowedRenintotheroomnextdoor.WeâdgaggedKylebefore we left and turned the TV on just in case. Hewasnât going anywherethough. Not unless he developed super special powers andmanaged to breakfreefromwherewelefthim...
Tiedtothepipesinthebathroom.âYou reallygoing to callDaniel?âRenasked, stopping in frontof thebed
thatwassunkenin themiddle.Iwonderedhowmanypeoplegotpregnantanddiedonthatbed.
ThenIvomitedalittleinmymouthanddecidedIdidnâtneedtothinkaboutthat.âIthinkheâsourbestoptionifitgetsdowntohavingtoopenthedoorstosendthePrinceback.â
âItâsarisk.âHescannedthesmall,dingyhotelroom,hisbrowraisingashetook in theTV that looked like it came from the eighties. âHemay not thinkyouâvebetrayedhim,butwhen....â
AsRentrailedoff,Iwatchedhimunstrapthedaggerandthethornstake.Heplacedthemonthesmallnightstandclosesttothedoor.Agunjoinedthem.
âWhenheseeswhatIlooklikenow?âIfinishedforhim.Renturnedtome.âItshouldnâtchangeadamnthing,butitmight.âIbitdownonmylip.âIknow.ThatâswhyitâsbestifIcallhimonceweget
toSanDiego.Callinghimnowistoomuchofarisk.WecouldrunintoanotherroadblockalongthewayifIâmwrongabouthim.â
âWe could.â He toed off his boots. âWe canât stay here long. Other ElitememberswillbelookingforKyle.Weâveprobablygotahandfulofhours.Weneedtorestandthengetontheroad.â
âAgreed.âI think youâre right,â he said, running a hand over hismessy hair. âWeâll
contactDanielwhenwegettoSanDiegoand...gofromthere.âInodded,watchinghimashetuggedtheshirtoffoverhishead,showingoff
those defined abs and pecs. Something was off about his tone, and his gazeskitteredawayfromminewhenevertheymet.
âWhat arewe going to do aboutCaptainDickhead?Dowe really plan onleavinghimalive?â
His lips twitched intoa faint smile. âWeshouldkillhim. Iwant to.Badly.Fora lotofdifferent reasons.âHesatdownon theedgeof thebed,andIwas
surprisedwhenthethingdidnâtcollapse.âButifyouorIkillhim,itjustproveshimrightâproveswhatothermembersoftheOrdermustbelieve.â
âSo,weârejustgoingtoleavehimhere?âThrustinghishandthroughhishairagain,henodded.âIthinkthatâstheright
thingtodo.âIdidnâtthinkthatwastherightthingtodoatall.LeavingKylealivemeant
weâd be looking over our shoulder every single second while we dealt withDrakeandeverythingelse.Weneededtotalkaboutthis.
âKylewasright.âBlinking,Ifrowned.âRightaboutwhat?âRen leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. âAbout me killing the
halflings.âAllthoughtsaboutkillingKylevanished.âRenâââYouknowhowmanyIkilled?âHeloweredhischinandgavealittleshake
ofhishead.âIdo.âOh,no.âThatdoesnâtmatter.ââItdoesnât?Ikindofthinkitdoes.âHewasquietforamoment.âIwouldâve
killedyouifIhadnâtgottentoknowyouâifIhadlearnedyouwereahalflingbeforeIlearnedwhoyouwere.â
That was hard to hear, but I walked toward him. âBut thatâs not whathappened.â
âItcouldhave.âHeliftedhishead,hisgazesotroubledthatitmademyheartache.âTheywerelikeyou,Ivy.SomewerenâtOrdermembers,butotherswere,andtheyhadnoideawhattheywere.Noideawhytheyweresecondsawayfromdying.Theyneverevenknewwhathitthem.â
Mybreathcaught,andIfoundmyselfatalossforwords.âSometimes I donât know how you can be with me,â he said, and those
wordsbrokemyheart.âHowyoucanlookatme,loveme,knowingwhyIcametoNewOrleans.â
Iswalloweddownthelumpinmythroat.âWell,ithelpsthatyoudidnâttrytokillme.â
RendidnâtsmilelikeIthoughthewould.Ikneltinfrontofhim,placingonehandonhislegandcuppinghischinwiththeother.âLookatme.â
Slowly,hisgazeliftedtomine.âIâmlookingatyou,Sweetness.Alwaysamevenwhenmyeyesarenâtonyou.â
Mychestsqueezedinresponsetothosewords.God,Renwas...hewastoogoodforallof this. I saw thatwithsuddenclarity. Ifhehadnâtbeenborn intothisworld, heâd probably be a doctor, saving lives, or a teacher ushering in abetteryouthfortomorrow.
AndmaybeifIwasnâtbornintothis,Iâdalsobe...toogood.âWhoyouwerebeforeandwhatyoudidisnotwhoyouarenowandwhat
youâregoingtodo.âIdraggedmythumbunderhislip.âBothofushavedonethingswewishedwehadnât,andIliketothinkthatwewouldnâthavedonethosethingsifwehadknowndifferently.Wearenotwhoweusedtobe.â
Renâseyesclosedasheturnedhishead,kissingmypalm,butIcouldfeelthetensionrollingoffhim.âWekilledpeopletodayâpeopleIonceworkedwith.Irecognizedatleastthreeofthem.â
Isuckedinasharpbreath.âIknowwehadto.Ifwehadnât,theywouldnâtthinktwiceaboutkillingus.â
Ashudderrippledthroughhim.âButthatdoesnâtmakeitanyeasier.ââIâmsosorry,âIwhispered.Rendidnâtrespond,andasIstaredupathim,IknewrightthenthatKyleâs
bloodcouldnâtbeonRenâshands.TherewasnowayIcouldpushtheissueofkillingKyle.
Thestresscontinued topouroffhim,andIdecidedIhad todosomething.Anythingtoeasehistroubles.Sleepwouldhelp,andwebothneededthat,butallIwantedinthatmomentwastotakehispainandself-loathingaway,andtherewasonlyonewayIknewhow.
Ididnâtthinkaboutthethin,dirtycarpetasIdroppedtomykneesbetweenhislegsandreachedforthebuttononhispants.
Hestraightened,liftinghisheadashecaughtmywrist.âIvyââIshushedhimasIstretchedup,kissinghimsoftlyasIworkedonhiszipper.
I felt him then, already hard and straining. I broke the kiss and lowered backdownasmygazemovedtohis.
âPlease?âIwhispered.Renletgoofmywrist,liftingonefingeratatime.Tuggingthezipperdowntherestoftheway,Igrabbedaholdofhispantsand
boxers.He liftedhis hips and Iwas able to drag thempast his knees andoff.ThenItookhiminmyhand,marvelingathowhecouldfeelassmoothassilkandyethardassteel.
HeexhaledharshlyasImovedmyhandfromthetiptothebaseandbackup.Abeadof liquidglistened.HisentirebodyjerkedasImovedmythumbalongthetip,andmygazeflewtohis.Hewatchedmeintently,hislipsslightlypartedas he reached behindmy head, finding the pin inmy hair and tugging it out.Curlsfellpastmyshouldersinatangledmess,andthenhishandwasthreadingthroughthem,curlingaroundthebackofmyhead.Heusedtheslightestpressuretoshowmewhathewanted.
Thesaltytasteofhimdancedovermytongue,andmyearsblisteredat the
ragged sound he made. I didnât drag it out. This wasnât about playing andteasing.Thiswasallabouttakinghismindoutofthedarkplacesithadgone.Itwasabouteasinghim.Itookhiminmymouth,andeventhoughIdidnâthaveaton of experiencewith blow jobs, I quickly learned thatwhen a guywas intoyou,therereallywasnâtawrongwayofdoingthis.
Well,except forprobablyusing the teeth inanotsoseductivemanner,butwhatever.
âIvy,â he growled, his entire body flexing as I sucked and moved up,swirlingmytonguealongthehead.Hesworeandhisbodytightened.
Heat swampedme, slippingdownmybody. I ached for him in a differentwaythanmomentsbefore.
ItookhimasfarasIcould,andthatseemedtobeenoughbasedonthewayhishand tightenedaroundmyheadand thedeepsoundshewasmaking.Thenhishandslippedtomyneckandhisthumbfoundmypulse,thatoddlysensitivespot forme,andhegentlymassaged the skinuntil Iwas squeezingmy thighstogether.Heswelledagainstmytongueasecondbeforehetriedtopullmeaway,butIdidnâtlethim,notashepulsedandgrowledmyname.
Whenitwasover,Isatback,ratherproudofmyself.Or,Itriedtositback.That wasnât what happened though. Ren moved fast, grabbing me under thearmsandliftingmeontomyfeet.Igaspedashisfingersmadequickworkofmypants,andbeforeIcouldevensayâyumâhehadmypants,myunderwear,andmybootsoffofme.
Jesus,hewastalented.Andstrongâreallystrong.Renliftedmeupontothebedashesatdown,holdingmeupsothatavery
privatepartofmewaslinedupwithhismouth.HesaidnothingasIlookeddownathim.Myheartthunderedatthefierce,
rawintensityetchedintohisstrikingfeatures.Stunned,Ilockedmylegstostaybalancedashegrippedmyhipsâmyass,hisfingersdiggingintomyflesh.
Andthenhismouthwasonme.With no warning. No slow build-up. Lips. Tongue. Sucking. Dragging. I
gasped,holdingontohisheadforsupport.Hedevouredme,hismouthhotandwetandall-consuming.
Itriedtosayhisname,butI lostallcontrolasmybodycoiledtight.Iwasbeyondcoherentspeech,beyondanythingotherthanwhathismouthwasdoingbetweenmythighs. I felt like Iwasgoing todie, that Iwasdying,and then ithappened. I cried out, my body liquefying as release pounded through me,throbbing and pulsing and never-ending. It took my legs right out fromunderneathme.
AndRencaughtme.Icollapsedinhisarmsâlimp,sated,andexhausted.Ibarelyprocessedhim
twistingsowewerebothlyingonoursides,mycheekplasteredtohischest.Notawordpassedbetweenus,andthatwashowhefellasleep,holdingmecloseasifhefearedIwasgoingtofloatawayfromhim.
Ididnâtsleepthough.I couldnât as the pleasant haze of release faded away and I thought about
whatIhadtodo.WhatIhadtodoforhim.
Chapter25
Renwas still in the showerwhen I slipped out of the room. I told him that Iwould check on Kyle and make sure he was fine before we hit the road. Iinsistedonit,becauseIdidnâtwantRenanywherenearthatbastard.
Itwas early and themorning sun causedme towince as it burned up theparkinglot.IwasnâtalonewhenIsteppedoutside.
FabianstoodinfrontofthedoorKylewasbeingkeptin.âHaveyoubeenouthereallnight?âIasked.âOn and off,â he replied, face expressionless. âWanted to make sure he
stayedwhereheneededtobe.ââHeâsnotgoinganywhere.Trustme.ââHewonât.âThecoldness inhisvoicesentachilldownmyspine.I lookedaround,not
seeinganyoneelse.âWhereâsTink?ââAsleepintheroomattheend.HeâswithFaye.âHeinclinedhishead.âWhy
doyoucallhimthat?Tink?âIliftedmybrowsasIshovedalimpcurlbackfrommyface.Thequestion
surprisedme.âIjust...well,henevertoldmehisrealnameandheremindedmeofTinkerbell.â
Fabianâs mouth twitched. âInteresting.â There was a pause. âI heard youguyslastnight.â
Myeyeswidenedasheatpouredintomyface.OhmyGod,webarelymadeanynoise!Well,therewasmoaningâdefinitemoaningofthesexualvariety.Thewallsinthisplacehadtobeasthinasthedamncarpet.âIdonâtknowwhatyouthinkyouheard,butitwasnâtus.â
He frowned as he watchedme. âI heard you and Ren talking to the maninsidethere.â
âOh.Oh.â I let out a choked laugh. God. Now I was just embarrassingmyself.âCarryonthen.â
Hisfrownfaded,buthisstarewasstillheavy.âThatiswhyIamwaiting.âMygazeflewtohim.Atersemomentpassed,onefullofunderstanding,and
thenFabiansteppedaside.Ireachedforthedoor.âI did hear you moaning also,â Fabian added. âYou sounded like a wild
moosegrazing.âMymouthdroppedopen.âAwildmoosegrazing?â
âYes.Thatiscorrect.Itwasquite...disturbing.âOhmyGod,Ididnâtsoundlikeawildmoose.Faceflaming,Iflippedhimoffandthenopenedupthemoteldoor.Theroom
was quiet, but weâd left the bathroom light on and I could see him from theentryway.
Hewasdozing,hischinrestingagainsthischest,wristssecuredtothepipe.Themanhadsensesofacatthough,becauseItookonesteptowardhimandhewokerightup.
âGoodmorning,â Isaid,makingmyway towardhim.âIwouldâvebroughtyoucoffeeandadoughnut,butthenIrememberedIdonâtlikeyou.â
Hesnorted,lookingaway.âIfyouâreheretofinallykillme,justgetitoverwith,becauseyouârefuckingannoying.â
âIâm not here to do that.âWalking into the bathroom, I sat down on theclosedtoiletseat.âIwanttotalk.â
âAndIwanttousethattoilet,soifyouârenotgoingto,howaboutyoumoveyourassanduntieme.â
Ilaughed.âNotgoingtohappen.Notyet.âHisgazeslowlyslidtome.âYouknowtheyârecomingforme.Theyalready
havetobeoutthere,closinginonallofyou.ââIknow.âIcrossedonelegovertheother.âSo,wedonâthavealotoftime.ââYouârealmostoutoftime.ââAlmost.â My gaze flickered over him, and I saw the fine tremor that
coursed through him. âYoumay not believe this, but I was kidnapped by thePrince.Iwastakenagainstmywill.Ifoughttostayaliveandtonotgivein.YouhavenoideawhatIhadtodotodothat.âMythroatthickened,butIkeptgoing.âYoucanhateme.YoucanhateRen.Butweâre theworldâsbest chance rightnow.Wewereonthesameside.â
Amuscletickedalonghisjaw.âWere?âIdidnâtaddressthat.Notyet.âAreyoumarried?Havechildren?âIasked.âWhat?âhesnapped.âJustcurious.AlotofOrdermembersmarryoneanother.Havechildren.Did
you?âIrestedmychinonmypalm.âYoudonâtlooklikeyoudid.Noweddingband.Youâreallaboutthejob.Duty.â
âYes,âheseethed.âEradicatingthefaeismyduty.ââEventheonesthathelpedtheOrder?TheSummerCourt?âKyledidnâtanswer.âWhat happened?Why canât you tellme that? Iâve heard their side, but I
know there has to bemore. There has to be for the Order to have turned on
them.âPressinghislipsintoathinline,hetippedhisheadbackagainstthebottom
ofthesink.Clenchingmyjaw,Ishookmyhead.Iwantedtokickhimintheface,butI
doubtedthatwouldgethimtotalk.âItcanâtbejustbecausetheywerefae.âHisheadwhippedtowardme.âItcanâtbe?âIstilled.âItdoesnâtmatteriftheywerenâtfeedingornotoriftheyhelpedtheOrder.
Theyâreadamnabominationinfectingourworldâafuckingdisease.TheOrdercouldnâtseethat,butwecould.âHiseyesflashed.âWedidwhatweneededtodo,likewealwaysdo.â
Washebeing for real?âYouâtheElite turnedon theSummer faebecausetheywerefae?â
âIsthereanotherreasonIamunawareof?ââHoly shit,â I whispered, shocked to my core. âThatâs all? You betrayed
them.Killedthem.TooktheirCrystal.Youdidallofthisbecausetheywerefae.Wow.Iâmreallyoutofwords.â
Hecursedandcalledmeanidiot,butallIcoulddowasstareathim.Therewasnodeepmotivation,nohiddenagenda.Just...bigotryandfear.Ifthiswaswhat the Elitewere then theywere . . . theywere no better than the fae thatwantedtotakeoverthemortalworld.
Iwasnothinglikehim.NeitherwasRen.Themomentwelearnedthattherewerefaeouttherejusttryingtolivetheirbestliveswithoutharmingothers,wecalledatruce.Itwasnâteasy,butwewere...
Weweregoodhumanbeings.Onmostdays.Justnottoday,though.TodayIwasnotagoodperson.Iwastheworstofthe
worst.AndIwasokaywiththat.Kylesighedheavily.âHeâsgoingtohavetokillme,youknowthat?Sooner
or later.BecauseIwill findyouandIwillkillyou.Thenheâllcomeafterme,andifhedoesnâtkillme,Iâllkillhim.Heâsatraitor.â
I unfolded my arms. This conversation was over. âHeâs not going to killyou.â
Kylesmirked.âYouâreadumbbitchifyouthinkthatâsasmartmove.ââGuesswhat?Iâmabitch,butIamnotdumb.âIrosefromthetoilet.âIget
whyhethinkslettingyoulivewillhelpbuildabridgewiththeOrderagain.Heâsjustthatkindofaperson.Agoodperson.Heâsbetterthanyou.â
âHeâsfuckingahalfling,âKylespat.
IletoutacoldlaughasIbackedoutofthebathroom.âAndheenjoysit.Alot.â
Alookofdisgustcreptintohisexpression.âHeâlldoit.Ipromiseyouthat.HeandIwillseeeachotheragain.â
âYouârewrong, so verywrong about that.â I stopped in front of themaindoor.âRenâsnotgoingtokillyoulater.Iâmnotgoingtoallowthat.â
He laughed. âWhat?Youâregoing todo it?Then lie tohimabout it later?Kindofhardtokillmewhenyouâreallthewayoverthere.â
âNo.âIwaiteduntilhewaslookingatmeandthenIsmiled.âIâmnotgoingtodoiteither,becauseImadeapromisenottolietohimanymore.â
âIsnâtthatsweet,âhespat,shakinghishead.âIt is.â Iwrappedmy hand around the door and started to open it. âBut I
didnâtsaynoonewasgoingtokillyou,Kyle.âIsteppedaside.AndtheSummerPrincewalkedin.
Chapter26
KalenhadfoundusoneofthelargeSUVsthatcouldseatadamnsoccerteam,sowewereallinonecarnow.
Allofusthatwereleft.One day on the road andweâd already lost five people. Thatwas hard to
thinkaboutorevenacknowledge.I thinkthatwaswhyFayeandKalenwerequiet in thefurthestbackrow.I
hadnâtknownDalewell,but I likedhimeven ifhehadcalledmeawee littlehalfling.
Fabian was also quiet, and I was sure that had to do with him losing hisentireconsul.Everylastoneofthemhaddiedinthatcar,riddledwithironlacedbullets.
Ibitdownonmylip,glancingoveratRen.HehadnoideawhatIâddone.Asplanned,weleftwithoutRencheckinginonKyleandhehadnâtaskedmehowKyle was. And I didnât ask Fabianwhat heâd done to Kyle, but the SummerPrincewasnoticeablymorerelaxedwhenweleft.
IwassurehemadeKylepayforeverydeaththathadtakenplace.PartofmewasstillinastateofdisbeliefoverwhatKylehadtoldme.The
EliteweretheoneswhobetrayedtheSummerCourtsimplybecausetheywerefae.Ididnâtwanttobelieveit.Iwantedtheretobesomereasonthatwouldhelpme understandwhy the Elite had donewhat they had. But therewas nothingexceptbigotryandfear.
And all I could hope was that bigotry and fear didnât extend far into theOrder. I knew it probablydid, butKylehad said thatDaniel hadnâtwanted tobelievethatIwouldbetrayhim.Wehadachance.
Myfingerscurledaroundtheburnerphone.Ididnâtevenrememberpullingitoutofmypocket,butIâdbeenholdingitforhoursnow,thedevicehotinmyhands.
CallingDanielwasahugerisk,butoneweweregoingtohavetotake.Hewas our only hopewhen it came to opening the gateways to send the Princeback.
âHey.â Tink leaned forward, between the seats, his voice low. âI wasthinkingaboutsomething.â
WithTink, itwas anyoneâs guess aboutwhat it couldâve been. I turned tohim.âWhat?â
âDo you think itâs possible that theOrder has already discoveredwho theHalflingisandhasthemin,Idonâtknow,protectivecustody?âheasked.
AmusclethrummedalongRenâsjaw.âTheEliteisinSanDiego,thatmuchisobvious.If theyâvediscoveredwhotheHalflingis, thentheywouldnâtbe inprotectivecustody.â
Renwasright.TheElitewouldâvekilledthemimmediately.Theywouldnâttrytokeephersafe.
âThatâskindofscrewedup,âTinkcommented.âYouârejustnowrealizingthis?âHelookedatme.âItâsjustwrong.âYeah.Yeah,itwas.Tinksatback,andwhenIglancedoveratFabian,mygazemethis.âIfthe
Halflingisstillaliveandnotcompromised,shewillbeundertheprotectionoftheSummerCourt,âhesaid.âWewillnotallowharmtocometoher.â
âAndifsheiscompromised?ââThenweâllcrossthatbridgewhenwecometoitâifwecometoit,âFabian
replied,lookingoutthewindow.Thatwasaverydifferentanswerthanwhenwestartedthistrip.âLetushopethatisnotthecase.â
Iwasnâtsurehowmuchhopinghadworkedoutforusinthepast,butIwaswillingtogiveita try.Itcouldnâthurt.Wespenttherestofthetripdiscussingour game plan for oncewe got to SanDiego.According to Faye,Tanner hadtakencareoflodging.Weâdbestayingatarathersecludedhome,justoutsideofSanDiego,inDelMar.IhadnoideaifheknewtheownerorifthiswassomekindofAirbnbthingwhichmademewanttolaugh.Fayeknewwheretoretrievethekeysontheproperty,anddespitehowseriousourvisitwas,Iwasexcitedtolearnthatitwasonabeach.Iwantedtowalkbarefootinthesandjustonce.
Priorities.Fromthere,IâdcallDanielontheburnerphone.ThekindofphoneTanner
provideduswasencryptedanduntraceable,connectingtowifiinsteadofcellulartowers.ThatdidnâtmeanthatDanielcouldnâttraceusviatheinternetifwewereusingastaticIP,sothatmeantweneededpublicwifijusttobesure.
Andfromthere,well,allwehadwashope.Hope thatDanielwouldhearmeoutandagree tomeetwithus.Hope that
theyhadsomeideaofwherethePrincewas,andhopethatwewerenâttoolate.
WereachedSanDiegoarounddinnertimeandstoppedatafastfoodrestaurant
thathadfreewifitomakethecallandgrabsomethingtoeat.Parkedinthebackofthelot,IstayedinthecarwithRenwhiletherestwent
into the restaurant. Tink was going to grab me, not one but two, orders ofchickenfries,andIwashappytoreportthatIwasreally,reallylookingforwardtodevouringthem.
Ihadnâthadanycravingssincethelastone,sothatwasgood,Ithought.âYou ready todo this?âRenâsgazemetmine.Hewas leaningback in the
driverâsseat,hisarmrestingalongthebackofmyseat.Nodding, I drew in a shallow breath. âReady as Iâll ever be.âMy fingers
hovered over the number pad. I knewTannerâs number by heart. âWhat if hedoesnâtanswer?â
âThenyoukeepcallinguntilhedoes.âInoddedagain.Mystomachwas fullofknots.What ifKyle lied?What if
DanielwasnâteveninSanDiego?Thereweresomanyrisks.Rentouchedmycheek,drawingmyattention.Hisgazesearchedmine.âYou
gotthis.ââIdo.âItriedtosmile,butitfeltweird.âDanielâslike...ââWhat?âIgavealittleshakeofmyhead.âHeâslikeafathertome.Iknowthatsounds
stupidâââItdoesnât.âHesmoothedhisthumbovermycheek.âNotatall.âThe smile cameeasier this time. âItâs just thatwhenKyle said thatDaniel
didnâtbelievethatIâdbetrayedtheOrder, itreallymeantsomethingtome,butwhatifhedoesthinkthat?Imean,Danielcanbeabigprick,butitwouldbe...itwouldhurt.â
Renleanedtowardme,kissingthecenterofmyforehead.âIwishIcouldsaysomethingthatwouldmakeitbetterifthatâsthecase,butthereisnâtanythingIcansayexceptifhethinksthataboutyouthenhedoesnâtknowyouatall.â
Shiftingmyhead,Ikissedhislips,andwhenIpulledback,Ihadtoswallowthesuddenknotinmythroat.âIneedtocallhim.â
âYoudo.âAndthatâswhatIdid.Punchinginhisnumber,Ihitthespeakerbuttonand
thenwaited.Itrangonce,twice,andbythefourthring,Istartedtoworrythathewasnâtgoingtoanswer.
Butthenhedid,onthefifthring.âWhat?âMy stomach dropped as I stared at the phone. Thatwas definitelyDaniel.
Onlyhewouldansweranunknownnumberlikethat.IglancedatRen,andhenodded.âDaniel?âIsaid,wincingwhenmyvoicecracked.âItâsIvy.â
My introduction was met with a long beat of silence and then, âYouârealive.â
Iblinked.âYeah,Iam.SoisRen.ââYougonnatellmewhereyouâvebeen,whatyouâvebeendoing?âheasked.âIwantto.ThatâswhyIâmcallingyou.HopingyouârewhereIam.ââAndwhereisthat?ââSanDiego.âThephonewasgoingtocrackfromhowtightIwasclutching
it.Therewasanotherstretchofsilence.âFunny.ThatâswhereIam.âWell, at least thatwas good news. I guessed. âI knowyou probably donât
trustme,becauseGodonlyknowswhatyouthink,butIdidnâtbetraytheOrder.IâmheretostopthePrince.SoisRen.â
âYoudonâtknowwhatIâmthinking.Thatâsprobablyagoodthing,butyoubetterstarttalkingandtellingmewhereinthehellyouâvebeen.âDanielpaused.âIâmfiguringthereâsalotofthingsyouneedtotellme,girl.â
Therewere a lot of things that I needed to tell him, but I startedwith themostobvious.âIâmtheHalfling.â
Danielwasquiet.âYou probably already know that,â I continued, a little breathless. âBut I
didnât know, not until the Prince cameâwell, I actually figured it out rightbeforethat.Icutmyselfwiththethornstake,butIdidnâtknowuntilthen.Ihadnoidea.NeitherdidRen.â
I closedmyeyes,hating to saywhat Ihad to. âThePrincekidnappedRenand thenme.Heheldme forawhile,but I escapedâweescaped.And ifyoufollowed thePrincehere thenyouhave toknowhedidnâtgetwhathewantedfromme.â
âMaybeIknowthat.âTherewasapause.âMaybenot.âInstincttoldmethatDanielknewthatthePrincewasafteranotherHalfling.
âIwanttomeetwithyouâjustRenandI.Weneedtotalk.ââThatwedo.ââAndbytalkImeanwedonâtwanttowalkintoatrap,Daniel.Weâreonthe
sameside.ââWhywouldyouthinkthereâdbeatrap?ââOh,Idonâtknow.âIopenedmyeyesandstaredattheleafypalmsmoving
in the breeze. âMaybe because an entire convoy of Order and ElitememberstriedtokillusinArizona.â
âWhat?âheexclaimed.I looked at Ren, unsure if his reaction was genuine. That was when Ren
spokeup.âYoudidnâtknowaboutthat,Daniel?â
âWell,hello,Mr.Owens.GladtoknowIâmonaspeaker.Anyoneelsetherethatwantstosayhi?â
âNooneelse iswithusrightnow,âIstressedthat lastpart.âButwedidnâtcomealone.Wecamewithbackup.â
âForwhat?ââTotakeoutthePrince,whatthehellelse?ââGirl,youandthattone.Watchit,âDanielwarned.Forsomereason,thescoldingmademegrin,becauseitwasso...soDaniel.
âSorry.âTherewasaheavysighontheotherend.âIdidnâtknowabouttheArizona
thing.IâmguessingthatwasKyle.AndIâmguessingthatâswhyIhavenâtheardfromhim.â
IcouldfeelRenâsstareonme.âWewanttomeetandtalk.ââWhyshouldIthinkthisisnâtatraponyourend?ââBecause if I was working for the Prince, I wouldnât be worried about
trappingtheOrder.Iâdbepregnantandstayingasfarawayfromyoupeopleaspossible.â
âYoupeople?âHebarkedoutalaugh.âThoughtyouwereoneofus?ââI will always be a part of the Order, but I figured after everything, that
wasnât an option anymore,â I admitted. âWeâre on the same side, Daniel. ItdoesnâtmatterthatIâmahalfling.That,Iswear.â
Danielwasquiet for so long that I started toworry thatheâdhungup,butthenhesaid,âFine.Weâllmeetateleventonight,downintheGaslampQuarter,acrossfromtheConventionCenter.Iâllbebythesign.â
He hung up then, and I stared at the phone for several seconds before Ispoke.âWell,Iguessthatwentokay?â
ThehouseinDelMarwasnâtreallyahouse.Itwasafreakingmansionâasandstone,palatialmansionthatsatonacliff
overlookingthePacificOcean,smackdabintheTorreyPinesStateReserve.Iâdneverseenanythinglikeit.Ever.âWhydonâtweliveinsomethinglikethis?âTinkasked,lugginghissuitcase
upthewidesteps.Before I couldanswer,FabianwasbyTinkâs side. âWhere I live, itwould
putthisplacetoshame.âTinkâseyeswidened.âDoyouhaveAmazonPrime?ââOfcourse.âFabiansmiled.
Tinklookedoveratme.âIâmmoving.ââUh-huh,â Imurmured,way toodistractedby thehouseand theupcoming
meeting.Faye was up ahead, opening the double doors. The inside was just as
stunning.Alargeatriumandanelegantspiralstaircasegreetedus.âIâmcallingdibsonthebedroom!âTinkracedpastus,carryinghisluggage
againsthischest.HisWonderWomanbackpackthumpedoffhisside.âIshealwayslikethat?âFabianasked,staringupatwhereTinkwasalready
disappearingdownthehall.Kalensnortedashewalkedbywithhisblackduffelbaginhand.Itwasthe
firstnoiseheâdmadesinceweâdgotteninthecar.âPrettymuch,âIsaidtotheSummerPrince.âIlikeit.âHetiltedhisheadtotheside.âHisthirstforlifeis...infectious.ââYoucallitathirstforlife,Icallitahyperactivitydisorder.âRensteppedin,
carryingourbags.Fabianliftedashoulderinresponse.Ieyedhimclosely.âAreyouintoTinkâlike,reallyintohim?âTheSummerPrincetwistedatthewaist,facingme.âIfyouareworriedthatI
willsomehowharmorhurthim,youhavenothingtofear.âThatwasnâtexactlytheanswerIwaslookingfor.âTinkislikeabrotherto
meâa reallyweird, often annoying, brother. I know you said youwonât hurthim,butifyoudo,Iwillfindawaytoendyou.Anditwonâtbepleasant.â
Fabiangrinned.âOddly,Iamstartingtolikeyou.âIfrowned,thinkingthatwasaweirdresponse.âAllrightythen.âRen was smiling when I turned to him. I had no idea what to say about
Fabian,whowasclimbingthestaircase,insearchofaroomorTinkorboth.Walkingovertous,Fayeworkedakeyofftheringandhandeditovertome.
âYouhaveafewhoursbeforeyouhavetoleaveforyourmeeting.âRennodded.âIneedashowerandapowernap.ââIstilldonâtliketheideaofyouguysgoingtherebyyourselves,âFayesaid,
crossingherarms.âIdonâtlikeitatall.ââWeârenotgoingbyourselves,âIremindedher.âYouandKalenaregoingto
come,butyouârenotgoingtobeseen.âRen and I were not foolish enough to go without any backup. Just like I
knewDanielwouldnât.âIknow,butnotbeingseenmeanswemaynothavealotoftimetoreact,â
sheargued.Kalenjoinedus,hiseyesshadowed.âIfanyOrdermemberevenlooksatyou
twoinawayIdonâtlike,theyâredonefor.â
âWell,Daniel isprobablygoing to lookatme inawayyoudonât like.Helooksateveryoneinabadkindofway,âIexplained.âIreallydonâtthinkDanielisgoingtodoanything.â
Atleast,Ihopednot.âHebetternot,âKalensaid.MaybeKalen should staybehind,butheâdpivotedaroundand stalkedoff,
disappearingintothemassivehouse.âYouthinkheâsgoingtobeokaywiththis?âRenasked,thinkingalongthe
samelinesasme.âThisisgoingtoberiskyenoughwithouteithersidejumpingthegun.â
Fayesighedasshepushedherhairbackfromherface.âHewillbe.ââHewasreallyclosetoDane,wasnâthe?âIasked.Shenodded.âHewas,butwe...weallknewwhatweweresigningupfor
when we left.â She lifted her chin, but her lower lip trembled. âThere is nogreater honor than dying for what is right, for the Summer Court, and formankind.âHervoicecrackedalittle.âNowifyouâllexcuseme.â
âYeah,âIwhispered,wishingtherewasmoreIcouldsay.Rennudgedmewithhisarm.âLetâsgofindaroom.âThatâs what we did, and it was a nice room at the end of the hall on the
secondfloor.Onewholewallwasglassandfacedtheocean.Inanhour,thesunwouldsetovertheocean,andI...Iwantedtoseethat.
Ineededtoseethat.âWow.âRendroppedourbagsonthebenchinfrontofthebed.âThisroom
isinsaneâthehouseisinsane.ââIt is.â My gaze got snagged on the huge king size bed. âDo you think
Tannerknowswholiveshere?ââI would have to think so. I mean, renting a place like this would cost a
fortune.â Ren eyed the huge TVmounted directly across from the bed. âDidFabiansayhehadaplacelikethis?Imighttrytomoveinwithhim,too.â
âShut up.â I actuallymissedmy apartment.Tinkhad toldme the rent hadbeenpaid,somyplacewasstillthere.ThankGod.
âIâmgoingtohopintheshower.âRengrinned.âWanttojoinme?âIâd love nothingmore than to do that, butmy headwas inway toomany
places.âIthinkIâmgoingtocheckoutthebeach.âOnesideofhislipskickedup.âIâllmissyou.âIlaughed.âWell,atleastIwonâtbehoggingallthewater.ââTrue.âHeextendedahandtowardme.âComehereforasec.âIwenttohim,puttingmyhandintohis.Hepulledmetohischest,folding
hisarmsaroundmeasheheldmetighttohischest.Rendidnâtsayanythingas
he tiltedhisheaddownandI liftedmineup.Hedidnâtneed to.Everythinghefeltwasinthatkiss,anditwasprobablyagoodthingthatIwasnâtjoininghimfortheshower,becausehewoulddefinitelynotbegettinganyrestafterward.
âIwonâtbelong,âIpromisedhim.Hebrushedhislipsovermyforehead.âBecareful.ââAlways.âLeavingtheroom,Ibacktrackedmywaydownstairsandmanagedtofindthe
backdoorthatledoutontoaveranda...thatledtoamassivepool.LikebiggerthantheoneatHotelGoodFae.
Mycheeksflushed,becauseIimmediatelythoughtaboutwhatRenandIhaddoneinthatpool.
Iwasprobablynevergoingtobeabletolookatapoolthesameagain.Reaching theendof thepatio, Isawthepath that leddownto thebeach. I
toedmybootsandsocksoffandthenrolledupmypantlegs.Itdidnâttakeverylong tomakemywaydown the steep trail. I stopped, exhaling roughlyasmytoessankintothecoolsand.
The tempswerechillier thanIexpectedand itprobablyhad todowith theWinter Prince being here, but the golden tipped waves and sand were stillabsolutelybeautiful.
Iwalkedoutacrossthebeach,nearingthelappingshorelineasIreachedupandtuggedmyhairdown,lettingthewindsiftthroughthecurls.
Thecoolwaterteasedmytoes,andforamoment,Iletmyheademptyofallthe stresses, the worries, and the fears. I didnât want to think about or feelanythingotherthanwhatIwaswitnessing.
Thewater turned a fiery orange as the sun kissed the ocean. Therewas amomentwhere it looked like theworldwas about to be set ablaze,where thewaterandskywasastunningarrayofredsandblues,andthenthesunwasgone,slippingfarbeyondwheretheeyecouldsee.
ThebreathItookwasshakyandthebackofmyeyesburned.IneverthoughtIâdseethesunsetonthePacificCoast,anditwastrulyasight.
I steppedback,makingmywayuntil Iwassure thewaveswouldnât touchme,andthenIsatdowninthesand,mindfulofthedaggersstillattachedtomythighs.
Ihadno ideahowmuchtimehadpassedasIsat there,butstarsblanketedtheskyanditwassoquiet,sopeacefulwiththeonlysoundthecrashingwavesanddistanttraffic.
Tonightcouldgowell.Danielcouldbelieveus,andtogetherwecouldfindthePrince,hopefullystoppinghimbeforehegotaholdoftheHalfling,andthenwewouldeitherkillDrakeorsendhimbacktotheOtherworld.Ortonightcould
goextraordinarilybad.RenandIcouldbewalkingintoatrap,onethatnomatterhowfastKalenandFayemoved,theywouldnâtbeabletostop.
Buttonighthadtohappen.Asharpswirlof tinglesdancedalongthenapeofmyneck.I twistedat the
waist,notsurprisedtoseeRenâstallformmakinghiswayacrossthesand.âYoushouldberesting.ââIwas.âHenearedme.âForaboutfifteenminutes,andthenIlookedoutthe
windowsandsawyousittingouthere.âIâdforgottentherewasaviewfromthebedroom.âRen,wehavealongnight
aheadofus.Igottosleeponandoffontheroad.ââIknow.âHesatbehindme,spreadinghislegsoneithersideofme.Circling
hisarmsaroundmywaist,hepulledmebackagainsthischest.âWhenIsawyououthere,Ithoughttomyself,Icouldleaveheralone,butthenIwaslike,Idonâtwantto.â
IlaughedasIrelaxedintohisembrace.Renwasquietforafewmoments.âItâsbeautifulouthere.ââItis.Youshouldâveseenthesunset.Itwas...amazing.ââWouldyouliveouthere?âIstartedtorespondlikeIwouldâveahandfulofmonthsago,butIrealized
thatmine,thatour,circumstanceswerenâtthesame.âIreallylikeNewOrleans,butthereâssomethingaboutthisthatâsjustasgood.Icouldliveouthere.â
âMetoo,âhereplied.âThenagain,Iâdbewillingtolivewhereveryouwent,evenifitwasAlaska.â
âReally?Alaska?ââEvenAlaska.âIlaughedagain.âYoudonâthavetoworryaboutmeeverpickingAlaska.âRenkissedmycheek.âThankGod.âMysmilefadedfrommylips.âAreyounervousabouttonight?ââBestupidnottobe.ââTrue.âRenwasquietforaverylongtimeandthenhesaid,âIknow.âMybreathcaught. Instinct toldmewhat Ineeded toknowwithout asking.
He was talking about Kyle, and I didnât know what to say. It wasnât like IthoughtRenwould never find out, but I hoped Iâdmake it twenty-four hoursbeforehedid.
âIâmsorry,â Isaid finally.âIcouldnât letyoudo it. Icouldnâtdo it,buthecouldnotlive.Hewouldcomeafteryouââ
âDonâtapologize.âI started to turn in his embrace. âBut I should, because I didnât tell you. I
shouldâveââââIknowwhyyoudidnâttellme.âHisvoiceheldaroughedge.âWantingto
leavehimalivewasfoolish.ââItwasnât.âIdrewinashallowbreath.âAnditwas.Imean,Igetwhyyou
wanted to lethim live.Maybe itwouldprove to theothermemberswehadnâtbetrayedthem,buthewouldâvekeptcomingafterus.Hewouldgetmoreofuskilled.â
âYouâreright.Anditwouldâvebeenmetoputhimdown.Thatsonofbitchwouldâvemadesureofit,becauseheknewâyeah,heknewitwouldgettome.â
âThatâswhyIcouldnâtletthathappen,âIadmittedquietly.Hewassilentforamoment.âYoumadesurethatIdidnât...Ididnâthaveto
carryhisdeathonmyshoulders.Thankyou.âHecurledahandaroundmychin,tippingmyheadback.Hekissedme.âThankyou,Sweetness.â
I really had no idea what to say to that. None whatsoever. But then Rentightenedhisarmsaroundmeagainandheldmetight,blockingoutthecoolnessintheair.
Right then and there, I sent a prayer up to whatever god or gods werelisteningthatthismeetingwithDanielwentthewayweneededittoandthatitwasnâtatrap.
Becauseifitwas,Ididnâtplanondyingtonight.IdidnâtplanonseeingRenorFayeorKalendietonight.Thatmeantweâdbedoingthekilling,andIdidnâtwantthateither.
ButIwouldifIhadto.
Chapter27
RenandIarrivedintheGaslampDistrictofSanDiegothirtyminutesbeforewewerescheduledtoarrivesowecouldscopeout thearea.FayeandKalenwerealsowithus.Wecouldnâtseethem,butweknewtheywerethere.Allofuswerearmed,butourweaponswerewellhidden.
IimmediatelyunderstoodwhyDanielhadpickedthisplace.Itwasoutintheopenandteemingwithpeople.Thebarandrestaurant-linedstreetsremindedmeoftheFrenchQuarter.
âWouldâvebeencooltochecksomeoftheseplacesout,âIsaid,happywhenIsmelledcharbroiledhamburgersandmystomachdidnâtrevolt.
Renâshand tightenedaroundmine.âWeshouldcomebackwhen this isallover.Wecoulduseavacation.â
Ismiled,likingthesoundofthatâtheideaofmakingplans.Itmademefeelliketherewasafuturetolookforwardto.Istartedtotellhimthat,butRenspokeagain.
âThere.âHecursedunderhisbreathashepulledmetotheside,outof themiddleofthesidewalk.âDanielisalreadyhere.Andheâsnotalone.â
âWhat?â Iwasnot at all surprised thatDanielhaddone justwhatwehad,whichwastoarriveearlyasanattempttocontrolthesituation.IfollowedRenâsgaze,andittookmeamomenttofindDaniel.
Hewassittinginthecenterofabench,hisarmshookedaroundthebackandhislonglegsstretchedout,crossedattheankles.Toastranger,helookedlikeanormalguy,outenjoyingthecoolnight.BehindhimwasMilesDaily,themaninchargeifDanielwastogodown.
My shoulders tightened. I never knew where I stood withMiles. He wasolderthanme,maybeinhisthirties,andcompletelyunreadable.
âCanâtblamehimfornotcomingalone,âRensaid.âAndIdoubttheyaretheonlytwohere.â
Iscannedthelittleparkarea,butjustbecauseIdidnâtseeanyfamiliarfacesdidnâtmeanthateverypersonandeverycoupleIsawwasnâtanOrdermember.Theycouldhaveussurroundedbythedozens,andwewouldnâtknowsincewedidnâtknowanyoftheSanDiegomembers.
LookingupatRen,Isqueezedhishand.âYouready?âIasked.MygazetrainedonwhereDanielsatashenodded.Istretchedupandkissed
hislips.âLetâsdothis.â
Renletgoofmyhandaswecrossedthestreet.Myheartwas thumpinginmychest.Idoubtedthattheyâdtrysomethinginsuchapublicspot,butIâdbeenwrongbefore.
âHey,âRenspokefirst,hoppinguponthesidewalk.âLongtimenosee.âDanielandMileslookedupandover,butIknewthattheyhadbeenawareof
ourapproachbeforethatmoment.âYouguysareearly,âDanielsaid.âSoareyou,âIreplied.âThoughtyouwerecomingbyyourself.âRenâsgazeflickeredoverDanielâs
secondincommand.âHowareyoudoing,Miles?âMilesliftedhischin.âCanâtcomplain.âIf both of themwere here, Iwonderedwhowas running theNewOrleans
branch.IwasabouttoaskthatwhenIsteppedunderthestreetlamp,butIdidnâtgetthechance.
Themensawme,like,reallysawme.Danielâs lazy sprawl changed in an instant. He pulled his legs up and sat
straight, his eyes widening. For the first time in my life, I saw a reaction inMiles.Hismouthdroppedopenashisgazeflickedovermyface.
âYoushouldseetheears,âIsaid,havingleftmyhairdown.Milessnappedhisjawshut.âWhatinthehell?âDanielexclaimed.Helookedlikehewasabouttostand,
butcouldnâtmove.Renstartedtostepinfrontofme,butIliftedmyarm,stoppinghim.âIlookdifferent.Iknow.Itâsalongstory.âDaniel stood then and took a step toward me. I could feel Ren tensing.
âHow?âDaniel asked, voice gruff. âHow is this possible? You couldnât havegottenââ
âItâsmoreofarecentthing.âIwasstartingtofeelalittleuncomfortablewiththeirintensescrutiny.âAndIwilltellyoueverything,butIthink...âIglancedoveratRen,wholookedlikehewassecondsfrommakingsuretheywerestaringatsomeoneorsomethingelse.âIthinkweshouldstartatthebeginning.â
âYeah.âMilesâexpressionsmoothedout,becomingunreadable.âIthinkyouneedtodothat.â
SothatâswhatRenandIdid.Wetoldthemeverything,startingwithhowIfiguredoutIwastheHalfling,howthePrincewasabletocaptureRenandme,andhowweescaped.Ieventoldthemabouttheforcedfeedingsandthatitwasafaewhohadhelpedmeescape.WetoldthemhowIhadbeenattackedandhowIhadbeenhealed.
ItwasRenwhoexplainedthatinalowvoice.âImadethechoice.ItwasnâtIvyâs.Ifitwas,shewouldâveneveragreedtoitandshewouldnâtbehereright
now.âDaniel lookedsomewhatawedwhenhesatbackdownwhileMileshadno
changeinhisexpressionatall.âHe savedmy lifeâfeeding savedmy life.â I shiftedmyweight fromone
foottotheother.âIwasnâtokaywithit.Renwasright.Iwouldnâthaveagreedtoit,andIwaspissedathim,butIwouldâvedonethesamethingtosavehislife.ThatâswhyI...IlookthewayIdonow.Itmadethepartofmethatishalflingstronger,butIâmstillIvy.âIliftedmychinasIsaidthelastwords.âWhoIamhasnâtchanged.â
âKindofhard tobelieve thatwhen Iâm lookingat you, seeing thatyouâvechanged,âMilessaid.
âJustbecauseshelooksmorebeautifulthanshedidbefore,doesnâtmeansheisnâtstillthekickassIvyouttherefightingthegoodfight,âReninterjected.
TherewasagoodchanceIfellinlovewithhimevenmoreinthatmoment.Milestiltedhisheadtotheside,hisbrowssnappingtogether.âYouallhavenoideawhatweâvebeenthroughtogetwherewearestanding
rightnow.Noidea,âRencontinued,hisvoicehardening.âAndifwewerereallyworkingwiththePrinceoragainsttheOrder,wewouldnâtbestandinghere.Donotquestionmyloyaltyandyoubetternotquestionhers.â
âIsthateverything?âDanielasked,soundingwary.âItis,âRenanswered.Kind of. Weâd told them everythingâeverything except for where the
SummerCourtwasandthattheyhadcomewithus.IalsohadnâttoldthemaboutTink.
âWhy didnât you contact meâcontact us?â Anger seeped into Danielâsvoice.âWehadpeopleouttherelookingforyou.Bothofyou.Forweeks,untilweassumedyouwerebothdeadââ
âOrthatwehadbetrayedtheOrder,âIfinishedforhim.âWedidneitherofthosethings,butitwastooriskytocontactyou.Iwasstillhealingandmyhead...âDrawinginashudderingbreath,Itriedagain.âIwasnâtreadytotalktoyou,ortoanyone.â
Danielâsgazemetmineforabriefmomentandthenhelookedaway.âWhataboutKyle?âMilesasked.âDanielmentionedthatyouran intohim
onthewayhere.Wehavenâtheardfromhim.ââHeâsdead.âIwastheonewhoanswered.âHetriedtokillus,andifhewas
alive,heâdhavekepttryingtokillus.So,heâsdeadâadeadliar.ââBoldwords,âDanielmurmured.âTruewords.âIwaiteduntilayoungcouplepassedus.âDoyouknowhow
theEliteandtheOrderonceclosedthegates?â
Milesdidnâtanswer.NeitherdidDaniel.âIknowthattheOrderonceworkedwith the fae to close the gates. That was how you all got your hands on theCrystal,andIknowthattheElitebetrayedthosefaeâthefaewhodidnothuntmortalsâthefaewhohuntedothersoftheirkindthatdid.âIdidnâtmistakethesharp inhale.âKylesaid itwas theElite that turnedon them,but therewasnowaythattheOrderdidnâtknow.Iknowthatwasbeforeallofourtimeandthestorieshavechangedovertheyears,butIâmalivebecauseofgoodfae.â
âItâshardtothinkthatsuchacreatureexists,âMilescommented.âYouâd be surprisedââRen pinned him with a stareââby what you once
thoughtwas true. Iwas trained in theElite. IknowIwas trainedwitha lotoflies.â
âAnd that statement is damn near treasonous.â Miles stepped around thebench.âYoudorealizethat.â
âStillthetruth.âIkeptaneyeonhim.âTheOrderknewthatthereweregoodfaebeforeâthatthefaehadhelpedus.Whywerewenevertoldthat?â
âThetreatybetweenourkindswassolongagoitnolongermatteredhowitusedtobe,âDanielsaid.âIfIremembercorrectly,itwastheSummerCourtwhohelpedusonceuponatime,andafterthegateswereclosed,therewasnomoreSummerCourt. Itwouldâvebeen toodangerous forourmembers if theyknewthatmaybeâjustmaybeâtherewerefaeouttherethatdidnâtwanttoharmthemor other mortals. Each time theyâd hesitate to determine if the fae they weredealingwithmeantthemharm,theyâdbevulnerabletoattack.â
âI understand that, but we shouldâve known.âMy hands closed into fists.âTheywerethere,alwaysthere.Theycouldâvebeenhelpingusthisentiretime.â
âThey couldâve.Andmanymore of ourmemberswouldâve died trying todecipher which fae were good and which were bad,â Daniel reasoned. âAndyouâreforgettingthatwehadnoreasontobelievethat theseSummerfaewerestillhere.Weweretoldthattheywereallkilled.â
âSlaughteredwouldâvebeenabetterword.âIgotwhatDanielwassaying.Itevenmadesense,but itdidnâtmake itokay,andwewereallgoing tohave tomovepastitifwehadanyhopeofdefeatingthePrince.âWecanstandhereallnightandargueaboutwhoare thebiggerbetrayers,andwhilewedo that, IâmguessingthePrincegetsonestepclosertotheHalflingthatâsinSanDiego.â
âBecause thatâs why youâre still here, right? If you all had found theHalfling, you would have killed her and then we wouldnât be having thisconversation.âRenliftedhischin.âWeâreheretostopthePrince,justlikeyouare.â
âWe know how to send him back to theOtherworld,â I said, and that gottheirattention.âHehastheCrystal.Weknowthereisaritualthatwillsealhim
backintheOtherworld.AndifwecanâtgettheCrystalandcompletetheritual,thenweâllkillhim.Sincewehavenoideahowtoweakenthebastardenoughtoget himwith the thorn stake or to, you know, decapitate him,weâre going toneedtheOrderâshelp.â
âWeâregoing toneedall thehelpwecanget,âRenaffirmed.âWeneed towork together, and thenafterward,youcankickusoutof theOrder.Exileus.Whatever.Butrightnow,weneedtogetpastallofthat.â
âIknowitâsaskingalot,âIsaid.âButIâmaskingyoutobelievewhatweâretellingyou.â
Danielâsmouthtightenedandthenheexhaledheavilyashisgazemetmine.âIâveknownyouforyears,girl.Knownthatyouâvemadealotofbadanddumbdecisions.â
Um.âYouâreoftenrecklessandimpulsive,âhecontinued,andIreallywasnâtsure
wherethislistofmyglaringflawswasleading.âButIâveneverknownyoutobeatraitor.Ibelieveyou.â
ReliefhitmesohardIalmostfellover.IlookedoveratRenandsawthathisshouldershadloosened.âThankyou,âIsaid,becauseitwasallIcouldsay.âAndyou?â
âThejuryisstilloutonthat,âMilesansweredafteraheartbeat.âButyoutwoare right.We need everyonewe can get to stop the Prince.We need toworktogether.Allofus.â
âThenwhatâsnext?âRenplacedahandonmylowerback.Danielstood.âWeplan.ââNow is not the time. Out in the open like this.âMiles crossed his arms.
âTheSanDiegobranchhasussetupinoneoftheirhomesontheharbor.Wecanmeetâallofus.Thatmeanswhoeveryouâvecomewith.â
âWeâvecomewithfae,âRenanswered.âAreyousuretheseOrdermembersaregoingtobecoolwiththat?TheElite?â
âCoolwithseeingme?âIpushed.âWewillmake them okay,âDaniel promised. âWe all need to set a lot of
thingsasideifwehopetostopthePrincefromsucceeding.âIglancedatRen.Henodded.âTelluswhenandwhere.â
Chapter28
ThehouseinDelMarwasquietwhenwereturnedtoit.WeâdalreadyfilledFayeandKaleninoneverything,butwecouldnâtfindFabianorTink.Well,wereallydidnâtlookthathard,figuringtheywereholedupinoneofthemanybedrooms.
RenhadstoppedmewhenIheadedforthestairs,grabbingaholdofmyhandand pullingme toward the back of the house, stopping to grab a soft lookingblanketoffthebackofthecouch.Heâdledmeoutontotheverandasurroundingthepool,tooneofthecomfylookingchaiselounges.
SothatâswherewefoundourselvesafterourmeetingwithDanielandMiles,ourdaggerson the table,within reach,andourshoes tuckedunder thechair. Iwas lying on my side, between his legs, and nestled against his chest. Theblanketwasdrapedoverus,andwebothwerestaringupatthestarsblanketingthenightsky,thelowwhooshofmovingwavesacomforting,lullingsound.
Iwasglad thatheâdbroughtmeouthere.Therewas something sonormalaboutthisthatIwishedIhadtheabilitytoslowdowntimeandmakethetimeoutherelastforever.
âYeah,âRensaidfinally,hisfingersidlymovingthroughmyhair.âIthinkIcouldlivehere.â
Agrintuggedatmylips.âEspeciallyifwehadthishouseandview.ââTrue,âhemurmured.âButallIâdneedistobeabletoseethestarsandhave
yourighthere,likeyouarerightnow.âThegrinturnedintoasmile.âThereyougo,alwayssayingtherightthing.âHisarmtightenedaroundme.âIdonâtalwayssaytherightthing.Ithinkyou
knowthat.ââButwhenyoudo,youmakeupforthestupidstuffthatcomesoutofyour
mouth.âRenchuckledashetuggedonacurl.Amomentpassed.âIthinktonightwent
good.âIclosedmyeyes.âYeah.ââYoudonâtsoundlikeyoureallybelievethat.âI bit down on my lip as my stomach twisted with nervous energy and
somethingelse.The...hungerwasthere,butitwasmanageable.Heletgoofmycurlandhisfingersdriftedovermycheek.âWhatareyou
thinking?âImpulsealmosthadmesayingnothing,butIstoppedmyselfbeforethatbad
habittookover.âI...Iâmwonderingiftonightwas,youknow,tooeasy.DoyouknowwhatImean?Icouldjustbeparanoidââ
âNo.Youârenotbeingparanoid.Allthingsconsidered,itwaseasy.âItiltedmyheadsoIcouldlookupathim.âDoyouthinkitâsatrap?âSilverymoonlightcutacrosshischeekbones.âItcouldbe,butweâregoingto
bepreparedifso.âWewouldbe,butIkeptreplayingDanielâsreactiontomeoverandoverin
myhead.BothhimandMileshadbeenshocked,butIâdexpectedmoreofafighttoconvincethemthatwehadnâtbetrayedthem.
ButDanielknewme.HemightnotknowRenallthatwell,butheknewwhoIwas at the core. âThankGodDaniel is still here. If hewasnât, I donât thinkweâdbeabletoconvinceMiles.â
âIhavenoideahowtoreadthatguy,âheadmitted.âDonâtfeelbad.IâveknownhimforyearsandIstillcanât.âSnugglingback
downagainsthischest,Ifoldedmyhandagainsthisside.Mystomachstartedtosettle,butmymindwasnowherenearthat.âIâm...Iâmhungry.â
âIâmsurethereâsfood....âRentrailedoff.âYouârenottalkingaboutfood,areyou?â
âNo,â Iwhispered,myhandcurling aroundhis shirt.Shameburned at thebackofmythroat.
Renâs fingers keptmoving alongmy cheek. âIs there anything I cando tohelp?â
Iswalloweddownthesuddenknotinmythroatandclosedmyeyesagain.âIdonâtthinkso.Itâsreallynotthatbad.The...feelingisfading.IjustâIdonâtknow.Ijustwantedtosayitoutloud.â
The arm atmywaist somehow got tighter. âIâm glad you did. I justwishtherewassomethingIcoulddotomakeiteasierforyou.â
Someof the tensioneasedoutofmymusclesas the shame fadedoff.Renwasnâtbotheredbyit.Atleastnotenoughtohaveanymeasurablereactiontoit.IdonâtknowhowIwasexpectingRentorespond,buthimnotfreakingoutandjustbeing,well,Rendidmorethanheknew.âYouâredoingitrightnow.Helpingme.â
âIâmgladtohearthateventhoughitdoesnâtfeellikeIâmdoingmuch.ââYouâredoingeverything.âIsqueezedhisside,lettingoutasigh.Ineededto
refocus. âSo, letâs say that our nextmeeting isnât a trap.We find theHalflingbeforethePrincedoes,westillneedtofindtheCrystalorweneedtofigureouthowtoweakenhimenoughtokillhim.Finding theHalflingbeforehedoes isjustasmallstepintherightdirection.â
âBut itâs a step.â Ren fell quiet and severalminutes past before he spoke
again.âThereâssomethingnoneofushavereallytalkedabout.ââWhat?ââTheritual.âTensioncreptintohisbody.âIâdaskedTannerandFayeabout
it.EvenMerle.Noneofthemhadanydetailsonexactlyhowweâresupposedtocompletetheritualsafely.â
âYoumean, how Iâm supposed to get the Princeâs blood andmine on theCrystalwhileintheOtherworld?âIplacedmyhandonhisarm.
âYeah.Idonâtliketheideaofthisritual,Ivy.Nooneistalkingaboutit,andyouhave tobe in theOtherworld tocomplete it?âHishandcurledaround thebackofmyhead,hisfingerstanglinginmyhair.âIdonâtneedtoknowalottoknowthatthereisametricshittonthatcangowrongwiththat.â
Ashudderworkeditswaythroughme.âYeah,like...gettingtrappedintheOtherworld.â
âThatwillnothappen.âHisvoicewashard.Iwanted tobelieve that. Ihad tobelieve that,because if Ididnât, themere
ideaofbeing trapped in theOtherworldwithaverypissedoffPrince terrifiedme.Butwedidnâthaveenoughinformationonthisritual, likehowmuchtimeIâdhavebetweenstartingitandgettingbackthroughthedoorway.
Therewasatinypartofme,though,thatwascuriousaboutthepossibilityofseeingtheOtherworld,evenifitwasonlyforahandfulofseconds.
âI think youâre onto something about finding out a way to weaken thePrince,âRensaid.âFightinghimwillbedangerous,butitâsnotasbigofariskastheritual.Wejustneedtofindouthow.â
UnlessFabianwasgoing tostart talking, Iwasnâtsurehowwewouldfindout.Itwasbeginningtofeellikewedidnâthaveachoiceonhowthiswasgoingtogodown.
Thatwasifweevenmadeittothepointwherewedidhaveone.
âAnd you think this is wise?â Fabian asked the following morning overbreakfast.Wewere sitting at an island large enough to seat ten people. âThattheycanbetrusted?â
âAsmuchaswecanbetrusted.âIpeeledtheskinfromabanana.âTheyâretakingariskmeetingus,too.â
âButtherearemoreof themthanus,âKalensaid,repeatingwhatheâdsaidlastnight.
âButwehaveaSummerPrince.âRendroppedontothebarstoolbesideme.âPrettysurethathecantakeoutadozenoftheminaboutfivesecondsifthings
gosouth.âI arched abrowas Imuncheddownonmybanana. âLetâs hope it doesnât
cometothat.âFabianinclinedhishead.âDidtheytellyouanythingabouttheWinterPrince
ortheHalfling?ââNotyet.IâmhopingtheyfillusintodaywithgoodââSomethingoutofthe
cornerofmyeyecaughtmyattention.Iturned.Holycrap.I lowered the banana asTink buzzed into the roomâtwelve-inch-tallTink
withgossamerwings.Mymouthdroppedopen.Renfollowedmygaze,andhemadeachokedsound.IthadbeensolongsinceIâdseenhiminthisformthatIforgotwhateveritwasIhadbeentalkingabout.
He flew across the kitchen, his wings moving silently, but everyone wasstaring. Faye looked like shewas going to slip off the stoolwhileKalenwasactuallyâwow,hewasactuallystartingtogrin.
Thebrowniewaswearingdarktrousers,buthewasshirtlessandshoelessashebuzzeduparoundthepocketlightthencamebackdown.
âTink.âMyeyeswidenedashehoveredoverFabianâsshoulder.âYouâre...Tinksized.â
âHeardweâdbetakingafieldtripthismorning.FiguredIâmtoocutetokillinthisform.âHelandedontheSummerPrinceâsbroadshoulder.âPlus,Iâmlessintimidatingthisway.ThatâswhyRendidnâtkillmeatfirst.â
âThatisnotwhyIdidnâtkillyouatfirst,âRenreplieddryly.IwatchedTinksitdownonFabianâsshoulder.Kalen lookedoveratFayeand thenback toTinkagain.âIâveneverseena
brownieinthisform.ââYouâve never seen a brownie before me at all,â Tink pointed out as he
kickedhisfeetoffFabianâsupperchest.âSowhichwaydoyoulikemebetter?Bigorsmall?â
Mybrowsfurrowed.âIthink...thisway,âKalenanswered.âYeah.Likethis.ââNotme,âmurmuredtheSummerPrince.TinkleanedoverandgrabbedachunkofthePrinceâshair.Hepulleditback
andwhisperedsomethinginFabianâsearthatearnedhimadeeplaugh.Ireallydidnâtwanttoknowwhatitwas.Ifinishedoffthebanana,andthenitwastimetoleave.Slidingoffthestool,I
followedRen out into the foyer. Tink left Fabianâs shoulder and flew over tomine.Helanded,balancinghimselfwithahandagainstmyhead.
âIâmexcitedtomeettheseOrdermembers.âHeshiftedclosertomyhead.
âWhy?ââBecauseIcannotwait toseetheirfaceswhentheygeta lookatme!âHis
laughwasmoreofachildishgiggle.âTheyaregoingtofreak.âAgrintuggedatmylips.âTheyprobablywill.So,Iwantyoutostaycloseto
eithermeorFabian,okay?Atleast,atfirst.ââOfcourseâoh!âHeturnedonmyshoulder,yellingasInearedthedoor.I
winced.âFabian,donâtforgetmysuitcase!âRenpivotedaround.âYoursuitcase?ââYes.ItâsPlanB.ââWehaveaPlanBthatinvolvesyoursuitcase?âheasked.âWedo.âTinklaunchedoffmyshoulderandlandedonthesuitcaseFabian
wasnotrollingout.IstoppedasFayeandKalenheadedoutside.âUh,maybeyoushouldtellus
whatâsinthesuitcase,Tink?ââMystuff.âHeheldonto thehandleasFabianrolledhimandthesuitcase
outthefrontdoor.Tinkwavedalittlehandatme.âMyfriends.ââWhatdoyoumeanbyyour friends?â Ihurriedafter them, into thebright
sun.âTink!ââItâsokay.âHeflewoff theluggage,andthePrinceliftedit,placingit into
thebackoftheSUV.âDonâtworryaboutit,Ivy-divy.âButIwasworried,reallyworried,becauseIhadnoideawhatinthehellhe
hadinthatsuitcase.Istartedafterhim,butFayesteppedinfrontofme.Her pale blue eyeswere full of restrainedworry. âI know you trust these
people,butifweârewalkingintoatrapâââIfweârewalkingintoatrap,thenwefight.Ihopethatâsnotthecase,butwe
donâthaveanyotheroptions.Weneedtheirhelp.âSighing,shelookedaway.âWedo.âIreallyhopedRenandIwerecorrect.Thatwewerenâtgoingtoregretthis,
butwewerealreadyintoodeepandtherewasnostoppingnow.KalengotbehindthewheelwithFayeinthepassengerseat.RenandItook
themiddle row, and theSummerPrince took theback seat.TinkbuzzedbackandforthbetweenourrowandFabianâs,servingasacompletedistractionaswemadeourwaytowardtheharborandtothehome.
âIthinkthisisit,âKalenannounced.âButitâsnotahouse.âIleanedoverRentopeeroutthesidewindow.Kalenwasright.Theaddress
hadledustowhatwaseitheracondooranapartmentbuildingonOceanFrontWalk.Thebuildingwasthreestoriestall.
âItâs the right place.â Ren tapped his finger off the window, pointing outwhatappearedtobeafencedpatioaroundthelowerlevel.
Several men were standing outside. They werenât dressed like they wereabouttowalktothesandydunes.Sunglassesshieldedtheireyes,andtheirjeansandlooseshirtsdidnothingtohidethedaggersIknewtheywerecarrying.
Iwaswillingtobetthatrailingandfencewasalliron.MyheartratespedupasIsatback.WasthiswholeapartmentbuildingOrder
controlled?Renreachedover,squeezingmykneeasKalenpulledintooneoftheparking
spots.âLetâsdothis.âIturnedtowhereTinkwas,whichwasnowontheseatbesidethePrince.âIs
yourbackpackstillinhere?TheWonderWomanone?âHislittlebrowpuckered.âYes,actually.Itâsintheback.ââOkay.Iwantyoutogetintoit.âTinkâsnosewrinkled.âButIâllsuffocate!âIrolledmyeyes.âIâmnotgoingtozipitallthewayclosed.Ithinkitâsjust
smartifyoustayunseenatfirst.ââFine.Whatever.ButifIsuffocate,Iâllcomebackandhauntyoufortherest
ofyourlife.âIgnoring that, I looked at Fabian. âCan you grab the backpack for me?
Please?ââWow. You said please.â The Summer Prince twisted at the waist. âThat
mustâvehurtyoursoul.ââItdid,âImutteredandwaitedforTinktogetinthebag.Hemadeashowof
it, of course. Stomping the whole way and moaning as Fabian zipped it up,leavingacoupleinchgapatthetop.
Itookthebag,surprisedbyhowheavyitwas.âThereâsDaniel.âRennodded toward thewindow. âWeâll getout first and
thentherestofyou,okay?âTheyagreed,andwhenIlookedbackatFabian,henodded.Renclimbedout,
andIfollowed,slippingoutthesamedoor.Oncestanding,Islippedthebagontomyback.
A second later a tiny fist landed in the center of my back. I grunted andturnedmyhead,whispering,âKnockitoff,Tink.â
âItâshotinheeereee,âwhinedTink.âShutup,âIhissed,wonderingifweshouldâvelefthimbackatthehouseas
Danielsteppedawayfromtheglasspatiodoors.Daniel nodded at Ren, but like the other Order members standing on the
patio,theywerestillstaringattheSUV.âWhoâsinthecar?âheasked.âTheyarefae.âIignoredtheswiftkickinmykidney.âOurfriends.Theyare
takingahugeriskbycominghere.â
âAndweâretakingahugeriskbyreceivingthem.âI scanned the Order members, seeing the exact moment they realized my
skinhadasilverytinttoit.Iignoredit.Renturned,motioningfortheresttojoinus.âThisisKalenandFaye,ofthe
SummerCourt.Theyhelpedusâhavebeenhelpingus.âAmusclethrummedalongDanielâsjawasthetwofaeslowlyapproachedus.
Hedidnâtspeak.Theygotacurtnodfromhim,whichwasreturnedbythetwofae.
âHol-leeshit,âanotherOrdermemberwhispered,andthatwaswhenIknewthatFabianwasnowvisible.
Fabianstrolledtowardthemlikehewasoutforanearlymorningwalk.Thebreezeliftedhisblondhairashesteppedaroundtheironrailing.
âThisisFabian,âIsaid.âPrinceFabianoftheSummerCourt.âTheaudiblegaspwasnâtlostonme.NeitherwasthestiffeningoftheOrder
members.Orthewaysomereachedfortheirhiddendaggers.RensteppedclosertoFabian,buttheSummerPrincesimplysmiled.
âYouwerenotexpectingroyalty,wereyou?âFabiantiltedhishead.Danielslidmealonglook.âNo,wewerenot.âIliftedashoulderinashrug.âYou should understand one thing, and one thing only.â Fabian stepped
closer, and I sworeyou couldnât evenhear the traffic in thatmoment. âIf youthreatenanyofus,Icankilleverysingleoneofyoubeforeyouevenknowwhathit you. I donotwant that tohappen. Iwantus towork together, likewedidbefore,buttestmeandyouwillnotsurvivetheconsequences.â
TinkbangedhisfistoffmybackinwhatIguessedwasagreement.Well, thatprobablywasnâtwhatDanielwanted tohear,butheclippedout,
âDulynoted.âDanielsteppedforward,goingtoetotoewiththeSummerPrince.âAndifanyofyouharmanyofourmembers,wewillspendourdyingbreathskillingeverysingleoneofyou.â
Fabianâssmilespread.âDulynoted.ââAll right then.â Ren clapped his hands together. âNow that we have that
settled,canwegetonwiththis?âDanielsmirked.âFollowme.âTheSummerPrincearchedabrowatthemenandthentrailedafterDaniel,
followinghimthroughthepatiodoors.Renwentnext,andthenFayeandKalen.Itookuptheback.
âNicebackpack,âoneoftheOrdermemberssnortedasIwalkedby.Iturned.âItis,isnâtit?âIgotanotherkickintheback,andIsworewhenthiswasover,Iwasgoingto
flushTinkdownatoilet.Stepping through the patio, I immediately realized this was no normal
apartmentbuilding.Itonlylookedthatwayfromtheoutside.Anarrowhallledtoawide-openspacethatIassumedwasalargemeeting
room,onethatremindedmeoftheheadquartersintheQuarter.AlargemapofwhatIwasguessingwasSanDiegoandthesurroundingcitieswasonthewall.Therewereseveralcafeteriastyle tableswithbenches,andat least threedozenOrdermembers.
Allofthemwerestanding,staringatthefiveofus.Mostof their stares showedopenhostility.Only a fewappeared curious. I
sawMiles standing beside a tall, dark-skinnedwoman,whose expressionwasalmostasunreadableashis.
âThesepeoplelookfriendly,âRensaidunderhisbreath.âRight?âIwhisperedback.Danielmadeaquickroundofintroductions,andwhenhegottothewoman,
IlearnedthathernamewasLiz,andsherantheSanDiegobranchoftheOrder.âWeâve been told that we are all fighting on the same side,â she said,
crossingherarms.âAsyoucanimagine,itishardforustoacceptthat.ââJust as itâs hard for us to accept the same from theOrder,â Faye replied,
standingbesideKalen.âButweâreallhere.ââWeare.âLiz liftedahand.TheOrdermemberssatashergazefoundme.
âSo,youâretheHalfling?âIliftedmychin.âIam.MostcallmeIvy,though.âSheignoredthat.âAndyouâretheonethePrinceheldcaptivebutescaped?âInodded.Sheinclinedherhead,andIguessedthatwassomekindofâgoodjobânod.
âWhatisinyourbackpack?âTink stopped shimmying around, and Fabian turned to me. âMy . . . my
friendisinthisbag.âDanielliftedhisbrows.âYourfriend?ââYes.ââYouhaveafriendinabackpack?âhepersisted.Renpressedhislipstogether.âYeah.âCarefully,Iletthebagslideoffmyarm.Ikneltandplaceditonthe
floor.Ireachedforthespacebetweenthezippers,andfeltanipofpain.Ijerkedmyhandback.
Tinkbitmyfinger!Thatlittlebastard!âBehave,âIwarned,shakingthestingoutofmyhand.
Asoftlaughcamefrominsidethebag.âWhatinthehell?âDanielsteppedforward.âWhatâsinyourbag,Ivy?ââApaininmyass,âImutteredasIunzippedit.âComeonout.âSeveralOrdermembersstoodwhileothers triedtoseeover thosestanding.
Sighing,Istraightenedasonetinyhandcameoutofthebag,curlingaroundthematerialandthenanother.
Lizâseyesnarrowed.âWhatis...?âSpiky, icy blond hair appeared, and then a forehead, followed by two big
roundeyes.Then,becauseTinkkneweveryonewaswatching,heslowly liftedhiswingssotheybecamevisible.
Someonecursed.Lizâsmouthdroppedopen,butshedidnâtspeak.âIsthat...âDanieltrailedoffasTinkliftedahandandwiggledhisfingers.âSuchashowboat.âRensighed,foldinghisarms.Ifoughtagrin.âThisisTink.Heisa...well,heâsabrownie.ââAbrownie?âLizshookherhead.âTheyâreinourworld?ââNo.JustTink.âTinktookthatmomenttoflyoutofthebagandzipuptomyshoulder.He
landedthere,pickingupmyhairand...hidingbehindit.Iresistedtheurgetorollmyeyes.âAnyway,hewasinmybag.Heâsa...
shylittleguy.âRenmadeachokingsound.âYouhaveabrownie?âMilesblinkedrapidly.âIthoughttheywereâââAllkilledoffbytheWinterCourt?âFabianansweredforhim.âNearlyallof
themwere.Tinkistheonlyoneofhiskindinthisworld.âTink peeked around my head as he balled his fists into my hair and
whispered,âIlookadorable,donâtI?ââSomethinglikethat.âIclearedmythroat.âIâdliketotellyouonedayabout
howImetTink.âAglimpseofwondersnuckintoLizâsexpression.âIwouldverymuchliketo
hearthatstory.âIsmiledatthat.âButweneedtotalkaboutthePrinceandtheHalfling.ââThat we do.â Liz watched Tink move to my other shoulder, the look of
incredulitystill fillingherexpression.Shegavea littleshakeofherhead.âWehave not been able to discover who the Halfling is, but we know where thePrinceis.Asfarasweknow,hehasnotmadecontactwiththeHalfling.â
Iwastoorealistic tolethopetakeflight.Justbecausetheydidnât thinkthePrince had gottenwith theHalfling yet didnâtmean it hadnât happened. âAndwhereisthePrince?â
âHeâsbeenholedupinoneoftheresorts,âMilesanswered.âTheValencia.âNeverheardofit,butIwasbettingitwasnice.Soundedlikeitwas.âAndhowmanyfaedoeshehavewithhim?âKalenasked.âAboutadozenthatcamewithhim,âLizanswered.âButhehasmore.The
faeherehavebeengatheringattheresort.ââTheOrderhasnotgoneafterhim?âFabianfrowned.âThere are humans at the resort. Too many who would get caught in the
crossfire. Itwoulddrawa lotofattention.And the twelve faehebroughtwithhimareKnights.âLizâsjawhardened.âTheOrderisbraveandwearewillingtodieforourcause,butnotfoolishly.â
âAndwhydoyoubelievehehasnâtmetwiththeHalfling?âRenasked.âWeluckedoutwhenheleftNewOrleans.Hewasseenandwewereableto
follow,âMilesexplained.OneoftheOrdermemberswhowasoverbythetablesanswered.Heâdbeen
introducedwhenwe firstwalked in.Pretty surehisnamewasRob. âWewereabletotrackhimonceheenteredthecityfromthelicenseplatesofthosewhotraveledwithhim.Hearrivedattheresort,andweâvehadeyesonhimtheentiretime.Hehasnâtleftonce.â
Something...somethingaboutthiswasnâtmakingsense.âTwoofhisKnightshavecomeandgone,appearingtoberunningerrands.â
Lizwalkeduptothemap,pointingtoablackpushpin.âThisiswheretheresortis.WeârethinkingthattheHalflingissomewhereinthisarea.â
AweirdchillcurleditswaydownmyspineasIlookedoveratRenandthenFabianwhileTinkhungontomyhair.TheSummerPrincehadsaidhispeoplebecameawarethatDrakehadleftNewOrleans.MarlonhadtolduswhereDrakehadgone,andmeanwhile,theOrderhadseenthePrinceleave.
Thatwas...thatwastoomanycoincidencesorsloppyworkonthePrinceâsbehalf.ThelatterwashardtobelievesinceDrakehadmanagedtogounseenthisentire time, setting up a base camp just outside of New Orleans without theOrdereverdiscoveringhislocation.Butnow?Everyoneintheirmotherhadseenhim.
Ididnâtlikethisâdidnâtlikethisatall.Itookastepback.âWhatâswrong?âTinkasked,speakingdirectlyintomyear.âYourshoulders
aresuddenlyastenseasaturkeyaroundThanksgiving.âMybrowpuckered.âI...Idonâtknow.ââThey must be aware that you know they are here,â Faye spoke, her
expressionpinched.âAndtheyhavetobewonderingwhyyouhavenâtattackedyet.â
Daniel nodded as hewidened his stance. âI think they believewe are tooafraidtodoso.â
âIsthatnotthecase?âFabianasked.âOooh,âTinkmurmured.TheNewOrleanssect leadernarrowedhiseyes.âWearenotafraid.Weâre
smart.Weâvebeenplanning.ââWhatdoestheplanentailexactly?âRenasked.âWeknowthePrincehastheCrystal.âLizturnedawayfromthemap.âWith
theHalflinghere,wecancompletetheritualandsendhimback.âRenstiffened,andsuddenly,thefacttheOrdermembersweresowillingto
acceptourpresencemadesense.TheyhadrealizedtheyneededusâneededmetosendthePrinceback,buttherewassomethingelsethatpickedawayatme.
âThisritual,âMilessaid.âWhatisitcalled?âBloodandstone,âFabiananswered.âThatâsright. Iâvedoneabitofreadinguponit.âMilesâgazefoundmine.
âDoyouknowwhattheritualis?ââIknowthatmybloodandthebloodofthePrinceâsmustbeontheCrystal,â
Isaid,wincingasTinksteppedonmyhair,pullingit.âAndIknowitneedstobecompletedintheOtherworld.â
Milesliftedhisbrows.âButdoyouknowwhathappensafteryoucompletetheritual?â
âIgetthehellouttheOtherworld?âIsurmised.Someone snorted, but Miles stepped forward, a slight frown marring his
features.âImaynotbereadingtheritualcorrectly,butfromwhatIcangather,whoseverbloodisonthatCrystalistrappedintheOtherworld.â
Dreadexplodedinmygut.âWhat?ââIt will trap both of you in the Otherworld. Not just the Prince.â Miles
glancedatFabian.âIâmguessingwhomever toldyouabout the ritual forgot totellyouthat.â
Chapter29
Stunned,Iletmyarmsfalltomysides.Hecouldnâtbetellingthetruth.Ahugepartofmewentintodenial,becausethatwouldmeanthattheyall . . . theyallhadliedtome.
âNo,âwhisperedTink,andthenlouder,âthatcannotbetrue.âHewalkedoutontotheendofmyshoulder.âNo.â
I couldnât move as things began to click into place. No one had beenforthcomingwithinformationabouttheritualwithRen.ThosewhoknewabouttheritualwerereadilyacceptingofthechangeIâdgonethroughandtrustingmeâtrustingus.
âWhatthefuck?âAngerfilledRenâstoneasheturnedtowardFayeandtheotherSummerfae.âIsthattrue?IvywouldbetrappedintheOtherworld?â
Fayeblanched,andIknewrightthenitwastrue,anditwaslikethefloorhadopenedundermyfeet.Mychesthollowed.âItmakessensenow.â
Renturnedtome.âThisisnâtmakinganydamnsense.ââBut it is.â My throat thickened, and I couldnât take my eyes off Faye.
âThatâswhyyouguyshelpedmeescapeandmadesureIwassafe.Itwasnâtoutof the kindness of your hearts. You neededmeâneededme alive unless youfound another halfling.One that had a chance ofmaking it to theOtherworldwiththePrinceandcompletingtheritual.â
DanielandMiles,alongwith theSanDiegobranch lookedon insilence. Ihadnoideawhattheywerethinking.
âYouknewthatyouwereneededalivetocompletetheritual.âFabianturnedtowardme.âIthastobethebloodofahalflingandtheWinterPrince.Youmustbealiveforthattohappen.â
âNoshit,âsnappedRen.âWeknowthat.Wealsoknowthattheritualhastobecompletedin theOtherworld.Atnopointdidanyonementionthat itwouldtrapherthere.â
âThatisaprettybigthingtoforgettotellsomeone,âMileschimedin.âWedidnâtforget.âFayefacedus,hereyespleadingwithustounderstand.
âWehadhopedtofindawaytoensurethatyouwouldnotbetrappedthere.âAchokedlaughescapedme.âYouhoped?ââThisisawkward,âLizmurmuredunderherbreath.âThatâsit.âRenstalkedtowardme.âWeâreout.ââWhat?â I turned tohim,andTinkwalkedbackupmyshoulder,placinga
handonthesideofmyheadtosteadyhimself.âWeâre donewith this shit.âHis bright green gazemetmine. âSo fucking
done.âKalenstartedtowardhim.âRenâââFuck no.âHe shot themale fae a dangerous look ofwarning, oneKalen
heededbystopping.âWedidnâtsignupforthis.Ivydidnâtsignupforthis.Sheâsnotgoingtosacrificeherself.Fuckthatshit.â
DoIhaveachoice?Thatquestioncausedashivertocoursedownmyspine.JustasIfearedlast
night,wewereleftwithonlyoneotheroption.FindawaytoweakenthePrincelongenoughtokillhim.
Betrayal mixed with anger as I lifted my chin and stared at the Ordermembers.âDoyouallknowhowtokillthePrince?â
DanielandLizexchangedlooks.Itwasherthatspokeup.âAthornstakeâââWe know that a thorn stake will kill himâkill any prince.â I looked at
Fabian, who arched a brow. âBut have you fought a prince? A Knight or anAncient?â
Lizâslipsthinned.âWehavenâtâââThenyoudonât realizehowincrediblyhard it is toevenfightanAncient,
andthatâsnothinglikefacingaprince,âItoldthem.âSo,IâmguessingyouhavenoideahowtoweakenthePrince.â
âWehaveonestandingrightinfrontofusthatcouldanswerthatquestion,âDanielpointedout.
âIvy,âRensaid,frustrationbitingathistone.âLetâsââSomeonefromoutsideshouted,andIwhippedaroundsofast thatTinkleft
myshoulderandhoveredbesideme.Thedoorweâdcamethroughexplodedoffthehinges.Abodyflewthrough
theair,hittingthefloorwithafleshysmack.ItwasanOrdermember,oneofthemenwhoâdbeenoutside.Histhroat...God,itwasrippedout,exposingtissue.
âShit.âIreachedformydaggers.Ordermembersshotfromtheirchairs,andeverythingIâdjustlearnedfadedtothebackground.
Thefeelingfromearliercameback, theone thatscreamedallof this, fromthemomentthePrinceleftNewOrleanstonowhadbeentooeasy.Iknewdeepinmybonesthatthiswasatrapandallofushadwalkedrightintoit.
Anotherbodylandedneartheother,thrownfromdeepinthehall.âWeâreundersiege!âLizshouted,brandishingweapons.âPrepare!ââGetback,Tink.âMygriptightenedonthedaggers,andIprayedtoGodhe
listenedasicyairrolledintothelargemeetingroom,seepingoverthefloors.Renappearedatmyside,thornstakeinhand.âThisisnotgood.â
âNo.Itâsnot.âA roar that shook the walls filled my stomach with knots. A stuttered
heartbeatlater,theycamethroughthedoorway.Kalencockedhisarm,lettingthedaggerheheldfly.Itsmackedintothechestofthefirstfae,takingitdown,butthenanotherandanothercamethroughthenarrowopening,untildozensoffaewere in the roomwith us.Most were not normal fae.Most were AncientsâKnightsofthePrince.
âCrap,âIwhispered,stampingdownonthebiteoffear.Wemetthemhead-on.Instincttookoverasstakeswhizzedthroughtheair,somefalling,clattering
offthedustyfloor,andothersstrikingtrue.Screamsandshoutsmixedwiththewetsoundoftearingfleshandcrackingbones.Itwasawhirlofmayhem,andIquicklylostsightofTinkinthecrowdoffast-movingbodies.
Renbroughtdownthenearestfae,movingasfluidandgracefulasadancer.Iwhippedaround,shovingmystakedeepintothechestofafaeasFabianbegantoglow like the sun. I caught sightofhimstalking forward, liftinganarm.AfieryballoflightformedinhishandasDanielsquaredoffwithaKnight.
Istartedtowardthem,cutoffbyafaewhochargedme.Idancedtotheside,my booted foot slipping in something wetâblood. Straightening, I lifted mygazeandsawthefemalefaecomingmyway.Shedartedtowardme,butdidnâtengage. Then it clicked into place. Shewas keepingme from engaging. Theywerenâttryingtofightme.TheyknewIwastheHalflingandthatI...Ineededtobealive,butiftherewasanotherhalfling,Iwasdisposable.
Noneofthatmatteredatthemoment.Rushing toward her, I caught her arm as she tried to sidestep me. She
screamedasI twisted,spinningheraround.Stabbingthedaggerdownintoherchest,IjerkeditbackoutasIletgoofher.Shewasalreadyfoldingintoherselfbythetimeshehitthefloor.
The temperature dropped again and I spun toward the opening as a tall,slender woman stalked into the room. Breena. That fucking bitch was here.EverypartofmybrainclickedoffasIprowledtowardher.Ifanyonediedtoday,it would be her. I swore to God and baby llamas everywhere, that bitch wasgoingdown.
AnotherOrdermemberreachedherfirst.ItwasRob.Heliftedhisarm,butshe was fastâwicked fast. Her hand flew out and went straight through themanâschest.
Mystepsskiddedtoahaltasmymouthdroppedopeninhorror.Wait.Thatdidnâtmakesense.Thatwasnâtpossible.
Breenayankedherhandback,anditwasabloodymess.Hisheartâsheheld
Robâsheart.ButBreenawasnâtanAncient.Shewasjustanormalfae.Howwasthatâ
MyheartlurchedintomythroatasIsawthePrince.HewalkedthroughthedoorasBreenadroppedthemangledorgan.FearandragespiraledinsidemeasIstaredatthePrince.
Hisgazeswepttheroomuntilthoseexpressivelipscurledintoasmirk.Hehadfoundme.
Drakesmiled.âHello,Ivy.Itâsbeentoolong.âMybodyturnedtoiceasaroarofred-hotrageeruptedbehindme.Ren.That
wasRencausingthetinyhairsallovermybodytoraise.Fabian whipped around, shock etched into the one word he spoke, in a
languageIdidnâtunderstand.ThePrinceâsshoulderstensedashisgazesnappedfromminetotheSummer
Prince. Some kind of emotion flickered over Drakeâs face as he stared at theotherPrince.
DearGod,theylookedsomuchalike.LiketheycouldbeââNo.â Fabian lowered his arm, and a bright glow faded from him as he
stumbledâactuallystumbledbackastep.âNo.Myeyesarelyingtome.Itisnotyou.Youâredead.â
What in the hellwas going on?Whatwas Fabian talking about, andwhyweretheystaringateachotherlikethat?
âIvy! Ivy!â Tink flew near the ceiling, hiswingsmoving frantically as heshriekedmynameinawaythatcausedpanictoexplodewithinme.âSheâshere!Sheâsââ
Ithappenedsofast.ThatbitchBreenaâsheadsnappedaround,hergazefollowingTinkâsflight.A
flickerofsurpriseshowedinherexpressionandshethrewoutherarms.Ashockwaverippledthroughtheroom.Itcaughtmebytheknees,liftingme
up in the air and flipping me backward. There was a glimpse of Tink flyingbackwardasIlandedhardonmyback.IcyfogpouredintotheroomasIrolledontomyside.Iâdlostoneofmydaggers.
Thatkindofpowerâitwasnotnormal.âRen!âIshoutedasIrosetomyknees.âRenâââHere,â he grunted, and from the thick white smoke, I saw his hand. His
knuckleswerebloodiedas theywrappedaroundmine.Rensqueezedmyhandandthenletgo.
A soft laugh carried through the fogâa laugh that sent a bolt of dreadstraightdownmyspine.
Istoodslowly,breathingheavyasIclutchedtheonedaggerIhadleft.The
icymistrolledback,revealingthosewhowerestillstanding.Therewerenâtmany, but I sawDaniel andMiles standing nearKalen and
Faye.IalsosawLiz.IdidnâtseeTink.Mystomachplummeted.ButtherewasthePrince,hischestrisingandfallingsharply.Hewasnât alone.Something rose likeawraith, tall andslender, andas the
mistslippedaway,Isawacrownofbone,andIknewwhatBreenawas.Rengroaned.âOh,hell.âBehindtheWinterPrincestoodaQueensmilingablood-soakedsmile.
Chapter30
âShit,âIwhispered,rootedtowhereIstood.Tinkâsscreechingwarningmadesense.AbrowniewouldâveseenBreenaâ
seenthroughwhateverfacadeshewaswearing.HeâdseentheQueenandtriedtowarnus.
Butitwastoolate.AdamnQueenstoodbeforeus,andshelookedlikeBreena,butnot.Herhair
wasnowafrostedsilver,nearlyreachingherwaist.SheworeBreenaâsface,butherchinwassharper,hereyeswiderandlipsfuller.Herblueeyeswereluminousagainstthecolorofmoltensilver.
Andthatcrown...It really looked like it was made of bone curved into a half circle and
sharpenedtoriseintothreesinglepoints,themiddlethetallest.She brushed her hand over Drakeâs shoulder, drawing his gaze from the
SummerPrince.âFocus,mylove,âshemurmured.âFocus.âThePrincewentstill.Flanked behind them were three Knights and two more fae. Weâd taken
downalot,butnotenoughânotnearlyenoughwiththeQueenhere.Someone, some brave fool, rushed her, brandishingwhat appeared to be a
thornstake.AnElitemember.Shecaughtthemanâsarm,andwithaflickofherwrist, snapped thebone.Themanscreamedasshe jerkedhim toher.Shewaslikeacobrastriking,buryinghermouthinhisthroat.Themanâsscreamendedinagurgleasbloodspurtedintothemist.Sheliftedherheadandletthemango.Hefelltothefloor,throattornoutasshefacedus.
âHolyfuck,âMilesgaspedbehindme.Bloodcourseddownherchinasshetiltedherhead.âSurprise?âIsuckedinabreath.Aknotoffearformedinmythroat.Breenahadbeenthe
Queenallalong?âThebrownie?âshespoke.âWhereisit?âIhadno ideawhereTinkwas,butwhereverheâdgone, Iprayed itwasfar
fromhere.âYoubitch,âFabiangrowled.âYoulying,traitorousbitch.ââCareful,â she said, wiping the back of her hand across hermouth. âI do
believeyouârethelastofyourcourt?Well...âShelaughedassheglancedovertothestillandsilentDrake.Sheplacedahandonhischest.âThelastwhoknows
thatheis.âFabianâsnostrilsflared.Wait.WasDrakeâ?TheQueenâsgazeflickedtome.âLookatyou.Imustsay,thechangesarean
improvement.Butnotmuch.âThoseicyeyesfoundRen.âAndyou?YouârestillasyummyasIremember.â
Potentfurysweptthroughme.âYouknowwhatIremember?Gougingyoureyesout.â
Her bloody smile spread. âYes, I remember that too, and I do plan onrepaying that favor very, very soon, but we still need you alive for the timebeing.â
I stiffened as my hand tightened on the iron dagger. âThere was never ahalflinghere,wasthere?â
âNo, you silly little bitch. Perhaps theremight be one here.â She lifted ashoulderinanoddlydaintyshrug.âIhavenoidea.Youwentintohidingandweneededtodrawyouout.âTheQueenlaughedwhenRencursedunderhisbreath.âAfterall,doyouthinkwewouldâvebeensoobviousaboutourmoves?â
Iknewit.Dammit,Iknewit.Weâdallbeenplayed,andweshouldâveknownbetter.Nowweweretrapped
here,allofus,withDrakeorwhoeverhewas,andadamnQueen.âWhySanDiego?âLizdemanded.âWhyhere?ââBecause it has the largest number of Order members. No other city has
moreinonelocation,âDanielanswered.âYoutakeouttheSanDiegobranch,itwillhaveacripplingrippleeffect.â
Ithappenedsofast.Several Order members stepped forward, brandishing their iron daggers.
Kalenshoutedawarning,butitwastoolate.Theygrippedtheshouldersofothermembersastheydraggedthebladeacrosstheirthroats.
Horror seizedme as I spun around to seeDaniel drag a blade alongLizâsthroat.âNo!âIscreamed,andIdidnâtevenknowwhy.Itwastoolate.
Lizâs hands flew to her throat, trying to stanch the flow of blood as shestumbledandthendroppedtoherknees.OnlyahandfulofsecondshadpassedandthenshejoinedtheotherOrdermembersonthefloor.
My wide gaze swung to Daniel as my heart broke. I couldnât believe it.Danielhadbetrayedusâallofus.Mymouthopened,butIdidnâthavewordsasIstaredatthemanwhowastheclosestthingtoafathertome.ThiswaslikeValalloveragain,butworse,somuchworse.
âSonofabitch,âcroakedMiles,andforthefirsttimeinmylife,Isawreal
emotion inhis faceashestaredatDaniel inhorroranddisbelief.âHow?Howcouldyoudothis?â
âBecausethisisawarwewillnotwin.âDanielwipedhisbladeonhispants,cleaningitofblood.Hisgazefoundmine.âDidyouneveroncequestionwhyIwas soacceptingofwhatyouhadbecome?Orwhatyoudid toKyle? Iknewheâdgoneafteryou.AndIknewthatoneorbothofyouwouldkillhim.â
The next breath I took got stuck. Iâd questioned it. We both did, but wewantedhope.Stupid.Weâdallbeensodamnstupid.
âRightnow,allacrossthecity,Ordermemberswillbemeetingthesamefate.AndbackinNewOrleans?Thesame,accordingtoplan.ButwhatIdidnâtplanonwasabrownie.âTheQueenâslipscurled,baringrazor-sharpteeth.âWhereisit?â
Drawinginashallowbreath,IpushedasideeverythingwithDanielandmethergazehead-on.Iâdhavetodealwiththatfreshbetrayallaterâiftherewasalater.âIdonâtknowwhatyouâretalkingabout.â
âOkay. You want to play a game. I love games.â She clasped her handstogether. âThis is a game I like to call, kill everyone.Except you. I still needyou,buttherestareabouttodie.âHergazefoundFaye.âStartingwithyou.â
Fayeâs chest rose with a sharp breath, but she held her ground as Kalensteppedtostandnexttoher.
âOrmaybenotyou.âTheQueendriftedforward.âMaybehim.âMyheartlurched.ShewasstaringatRen.âIfyoutouchonehaironhishead,
youâllregretit.ââSomehowIdoubtthat.âShemovedfasterthanIcouldtrack.Asecondlater
shewasstandingbehindRen,herlongfingersencirclinghisneck.âDoyoulikethisgame,Ivy?â
Renâsjawlockeddownasheheldverystill,meetingmygaze.Myheartwaspoundingfast,toofastasIliftedthedaggertomyownthroat.Ididnâthesitate.Not for a second. âIf you hurt him, Iwill slitmy own throat and then youâllreallyhavetofindanotherhalfling.Howdoyoulikethatgame?â
Her lips thinned as she tilted her head to the side. âYouâd kill yourself tosavehim?â
âInaheartbeat.ââIvy,âRengaspedout.Disbeliefcrowdedherface.âYouwouldnâtââThe sound of plastic wheels gliding over wood floors drew all of our
attentiontowardthedoor.IcouldnâtbelievewhatIwasseeingatfirst.Iblinked,thinkingIhadtobeseeingthings,butmyeyeswerenâtlyingtome.
Tinkâs suitcase rolled across the floor, slidingpast thePrince and stopping
justshortofFabian.ThenTinkzoomed into theroom,flyingas fastasa littlemissile,towardthesuitcase.Grippingthezipperinhistinyhands,hedraggeditalongtheseam.Onesideofthesuitcaseswungopenandhundredsoftrolldollsspilledout,scatteringoverthefloorinaseaofneonblueandhotpinkhair.
âWhatthe...?âIstumbledbackastep.TheQueencockedherheadtothesideassheheldRen.Everyonestared,becausetherewerehundredsoftrolldollsrollingacrossthe
floor,throughblood,andyeah,itwasreallybizarre.Flyingforward,Tinkhoveredabovehisseaoftrolldollsandliftedhisarms.
âRiseup,mylittlebabies.âThe dolls trembled on the floor and then shook. All of them. Their little
plasticbodiesrocking,andthentheirbodies...werenâtplasticanymore.Theirlegsbent.Theirarmsmoved.Theirheadsturned,andtheireyeswerethepalestblue,likeallcreaturesfromtheOtherworld.
Ihadnowords.Thetrolldollsroseontotheirstubbylegs.Theirmouthsopenedandahigh
keeningscreecheruptedfromthem,raisingthetinyhairsallalongmyarms.Well,Iwasgoingtohavealifeâsworthofnightmaresbecauseofthis.âHoly crap,â Iwhispered. âInstead of being theNightKing, heâs theTroll
King.âThedollsâheadsturnedtowardtheQueen.Lettingoutashriekofrage,theQueenthrewRenaside,sendinghimsliding
several feet across the floor.Hewent downononeknee as I shot to his side,grabbinghishandandhaulinghimup.
âWeneedtogetoutofhere,âhesaid,hiswideeyesonthedolls.âNow.ââAgreed.âHoldingtighttohishand,IshoutedforTinkasthedollsstompedacrossthe
floor,racingtowardtheQueen.TinkflewtomyshoulderasIspuntowardFayeandKalen.Themalefaemetmygazeandnodded.
Thedolls reached theQueen, their littlehandsclutchingatherdress.Theyclimbedupherlegs,dozensofthem.
She shrieked, plucking one off her thigh. Blood covered its little mouth.Theybit?Shecrusheditinherhandasshescreamedinrage.Dozensmorewereclimbing up her, reaching her stomach, digging in with their hands and . . .mouths.TheKnightsstartedtowardher,butwerealsoovercomebydolls.Theyswallowedthemwhole,likeacarpetofflesh-eatingtrolldolls.
Iwasgoingtoneedtherapyâyearsoftherapy.Renstarted toward thedoorandTinkhoppedfrommyshoulder tohis,but
handslandedonmyback,jerkingmeawayfromRen.MyhandslippedfreeasI
wasspunaround.IcamefacetofacewithDaniel.âIcanâtletyougo,âhesaid,hisgripdiggingin.âIâmsorry,Ivy.âIdidnât stop to think aboutwhat Iwasdoing,butmychest achedandmy
eyesburnedasmygriptightenedonthedagger.âDaniel,âIsaid,myvoicehoarse.HisgazemetmineasecondbeforeIslammedthedaggerdeepintothecenter
ofhischest.Danielâsmouthopened,but therewerenowords.None.Isawhiseyesdullover.
Exhalingroughly,IletgoofthedaggerasIblinkedbackhottears.Ijerkedasanotherhandtouchedmyarm.IturnedtofindMilesbesideme.âWeneedtogo,âhesaid.âNow.â
Unable tospeak, Igotmyfeetmoving.Weracedacross thefloor,our feetslippingandslidingintheblood.Atthedoorway,IrealizedFabianwasnâtwithus.HewasstandinginfrontofDrake,speakingtoofastformetounderstand.
TheQueenwasinthecenteroftheroom,spinningasshesenteviltrolldollsineverydirection.
Fabianpickedupafallendagger.Istopped,heartsomewhereinmythroat.Itwasiron.ItwouldnâtkillDrakeatâ
FabiandidnâtstabtheWinterPrince.He sliced open his own palm, drawing blood, and he lifted that bloodied
palm, dragging it down the center of Drakeâs face and pressing it against hismouth.
TheWinter Princeâs entire body jolted aswhat appeared to be a thousandfirefliessurroundedhim,encasinghisentirebodyinashimmeringgoldenglow.Onlyasecondortwopassedandthentheshimmering,dazzlinglightsreceded.
TheWinterPrincestoodthere,hisluminousblueeyeswideandunseeing.Itwas likea layerofdarkness seepedoffandslidaway.Blackhairgaveway togolden.Shadowspeeledawayfromthehollowsofhischeeks.Hisfeatureswerethesame,buthewasnotoftheWinterCourt.Hewas...
Whatintheholyfuâ?âIvy!âRenwasonceagainatmyside.âLook,âIwhispered.âLookathim.âRenfollowedmygaze.âWhatthehell?âThePrince fellbacka step,hiswidegazedartingoverFabianandus.His
staremetmine,andhisentirefacecontortedasifhewereinpain.IbumpedintoRenasthePrincewhippedaroundandletoutasoundthatwas
asterrifyingasitwasinhumanandprimitive.Thesmellofburntozonefilledtheairasablastofpotentenergyrolledacrossthefloor.IthittheKnightsfirst.
Theyburstintonothing,disintegratingonthespot.
Skinpeeledoff theOrdermembers thathadbetrayedus.Theirboneswerecrushedintodust.Theimpactwassointensethatitburnttheirshadowsintothefloor.
Stillflingingoffthetrolldolls,theQueenspuntowardthePrince.Hereyeswidenedwith shock, and then the energy slammed into her. She and the dollsflewofftheirfeetandbackward.TheQueenhitthewall...andcrashedthroughit.
âIthinkweneedtogo.âRengrabbedmyarmandstartedbackingup.âLikeforreal.â
Pullingmygazeawayfromthebizarrescene,Iturnedandrandownthehall,catchingupwiththerestofthegroup.
âWhataboutFabian?âTinkdemandedasthepatiodoorscameintoview.âForgethim,âRenresponded.âWhat?âTinklaunchedhimselfoffRenâsshoulder.âOh,hellno.âIsnatchedTinkoutofmid-air,wrappingmyhandsaroundhis
waist.âYouarenotgoingbackthere.ââButâââNo.âIheldtighttoTinkasweburstoutontothepatio.âAnddonâtyoudare
bitemeorchangeforms.âTinkâsfacefell,andIignoreditasIranacrosstheparkinglot.Kalenalready
hadthekeysoutasherantothedriverâsdoor.FayeclimbedintothefrontseatasMilesclimbedin,headingforthesecondrow.Rengotinandtwistedtowardme,reachingoutahand.Hisgazeflickedovermyhead.
âWhatthehell?âhedemanded,startingtomakehiswaybackout.Iturnedandmymouthdroppedopen.Fabian stormed through the doors, andwith himwasDrake, his face still
bloody.âWhatthehellareyoudoing?âIreachedformydagger,butrealizedIhadnoneleft.âWhatareyoudoingwithDrake?â
âThisisnâtDrake.âFabianheldontothePrinceâsarm.âBullshit!Iknowwhoheisevenwiththelighterhair.ââYouârewrong.ââFabian,thatistheWinterPrince.âFayehadrolleddownthewindow.âIsaw
himeveryday.ThatisDrake.âTheWinterPrince squinted, shieldinghis eyesashe swayedunsteadilyon
his feet. âI am . . .âHe trailed off, flinching as if something or someone hadgottennearhisface.
âThatisnottheWinterPrince.âTinkbeatatmyfist.âIâveseenhimbefore,Ivy.IknowwhatDrakelookslike.IsawhimintheOtherworld,remember?â
Confused,Ishookmyhead.
âWeneedtogo,âKalenwarned.âWeneedtogetthehelloutofhere.ââLetusin,âFabiandemanded.âNofuckingway.âRenpushedmeintotheseat.âIâmgoingtokillthatson
ofabitch.IdonâtcareifhelookslikeBeachPrincerightnow.âRenwasoutoftheSUVbeforeIknewwhathewasdoing.Inaheartbeat,his
fistslammedintothePrinceâsjaw,snappinghisheadback.Ishotforward,fearabittertasteinthebackofmythroat.ThePrincewouldâ
ThePrinceslowlyturnedhisheadbacktoRen.Hislipwassplit.HedidnâtraisehishandsoranythingasRenâs fist snakedoutagain, catchinghimunderthechin,knockinghisheadback.
âStop!âshoutedTink.âYouneedtostop,Ren!âRencockedhisarmbackagain,butFabiancaughthisfist.âHithimagain,
andIwillmakesurethereisnothingleftofyou.âIsnatchedthebackofRenâsshirtwithmyfreehandandtuggedhimback.
Hedidnâtbudge,notuntilIwrappedmyarmaroundhiswaist.âThatâsenough.ââNo.âRenshookhishead.âThatisnotnearlyenough.ââHeâsnotDrake!Lookat him.Heâsdifferent,âTink shouted, and then the
littlebastardsunkhisteethintomyhand.âOuch!âIletgo,drawingmyhandbackandshakingthestingout.Tinkflew
outofthecar,towardthePrinceâsshoulder.âWedonâthavetimeforthis,Tink.Getawayfromââ
âIfyoudonâtletbothofthemintothiscar,Iâmnotcoming!âIgapedatthedamnbrownie.âAreyououtofyourmind?ââAreyou?âTinkshotback.âThis is not Drake,â Fabian said, his voice sounding broken. âThis ismy
brother.â
Chapter31
TheridebacktoDelMarwas...awkwardandtense.Itprobablyhad todowith thefact that thePrincewhokidnappedRenand
me,whohad tried to seduceme tobringabout a fae apocalypse, andwasall-aroundmurderousandpsychotic,wassittinginthebackseatoftheSUV,silentandstaringoutthewindow.
Between that, the armies of troll dolls, the betrayal of Daniel, and theappearanceoftheQueen,itwasofficiallytheworstMondayever.
Renpracticallysat facing thebackseat theentire ride to thehouse.SodidMiles,andIdidthesame.
TherewassomethingwrongwiththePrince.Hedidnâtspeak.Hedidnâtlookatanyofus.Hedidnâtevenrespondtoany
ofthetersecommentsabouthim.Hejustsatthere,andIcouldnâtbelieveIwasinacarwithhimandnottryingtomurderhim.
âHewasunderanenchantment,âFabianexplained,staringatDrake.Itwascleartheywerebrothers.Iâdseenthesimilaritybeforeandnow,withthechangeinthehaircolor,itwasobvious.âWebelievedthathediedintheGreatWarwiththeWinterCourt.Isawhimgodown,andIcouldnâtgettohim.QueenMorganatook his body.We thought she did so to refuse us our burial tradition.Now Iknow.Sheplacedhimunderherspell.â
AndnowweknewwhatQueenweweredealingwith.Ofcourse,ithadtobetheonewhowastheboogeymanofallthefae.Great.Justourfreakingluck.
âSo, are you sayingheâs not responsible for anyof his actions because hewasunderaspell?âRendemanded.
âYes.âFabianlookedatRen.âThatisexactlywhatIâmsaying.ââBullshit,âhegrowled.âThatbastardâââWasunderherspell,âFabiancut in.âJust likeahumanwouldbeundera
glamour. It is apowerfulenchantment thatonlyaKingorQueencando.Onethatisforbidden.â
Renleanedtowardthebackoftheseat.âI.Donât.Care.ââIknow itâshard toaccept. Iâmhavingahard timeaccepting it, too.Trust
me,âFayesaid,havingtwistedaroundinherseat.âButwhenoneofourkindisunderanenchantment,wecannotcontrolwhatwedo.Itwouldbethesameforamortal.â
Milesstiffened.âHekilledscoresofourmembers,eitherbyhisownhands
oronhisorder.ââAnd themanyouanswered tobetrayedallofusandhisownmen,âFaye
remindedhim.I squeezedmy eyes shut against the truth of thosewords. I couldnât even
thinkaboutwhatDanielhaddoneorthatIhadendedhim.Milesdidnâtrespondtothat,becausewhatcouldhesay?Iopenedmyeyes.
âItâsnotthesamething,though.WedidnâtknowwhatDanielwasdoingorhowlonghewasdoingit.Weknowwhathewasdoing.â
âBut itâsnothim.âTink landedon thebackofour seat. âItwasnâtwhohereally is.You sawwhat hedidwhenhe cameout of the enchantment.HeputQueenBitchthroughawall.â
âI.Donât.Care.ââThisisbullshit,âRenmuttered.âLet me guess. He has no memory of all the horrible shit heâs done?â I
demanded.The Princeâs head slowly turned, and his eyes met mine. âI remember
everythingIâvedone.Everything.âIsuckedinasharpbreathasashiverdancedovermyskin.Hedidnât...he
soundedlikethePrinceIknew,butat thesametime,hedidnât.Hereturnedtostaringoutthewindow.
âItchangesnothing,âRensaid.âItchangeseverything,âFabianreplied.âYouâllsee.Givehimtime.Youâll
understand.âRenâslaughwasharsh.âThisisunbelievable.âItreallywas.Allofit,butherewewere,andIneededadistraction,becauseI
wantedtowhipthatthornstakeoutofRenâshandandslamitintothechestofthatbastard,enchantmentornot.
MygazeshiftedtoTink.âYougoingtoexplainaboutthetrolldolls?âHe sighed as hewalked across the back of our seat, kicking at something
noneofuscouldsee.âIhateleavingthemthere.Theyâremybabies.âBabies? They were the stuff of nightmares. âHow did you make them
move?â I thought about the times Iâd find them around the apartment. âWeretheyalwayscapableofthat?â
âWell,Itakeadropofmybloodandmixitintheirhair,soIcanreanimatethem.â
Myeyeswidened.âAndItrieditoutafewtimesbackhome.âTinkshruggedashepeeredupat
me.âSometimestheygotout.âOhmyGod.
Thosedamndollshadbeenalive!âMan,Idonâtknowwhatabouttodayismorefuckedup,âRenmuttered.âTheQueen,âFayeanswered.âThatisthemostfuckedupthing.ââWhatarewegoingtodonow?âMilesasked.Nooneanswered.Because no one had any answers.We spent this entire time believing we
weredealingwithapsychoticprince,butnowwehadaQueentodealwithandnoneofuswerepreparedforthat.
Rencaughtmyhand,holdingmebackonthestepsaseveryoneelsemadetheirwayintothesprawlinghome.
âComehere,âhesaid.Iwasnâtgivenmuchofachoice.Not that Ineededone.Holdingon tomy
hand,hepulledmeagainsthischestandfoldedhisarmsaroundme.Lettingout a raggedbreath, I closedmyeyes and soakeduphis closeness
andwarmth.Alongmomentpassedbeforehespoke.âIâm so sorry.â Ren kissed my forehead and then each of my eyelids. âI
knowhowyoufeltaboutDaniel.âI shuddered. âThat was why he was so accepting of me, of what Iâve
changedinto.Shit.Ithoughtitwas...âIcouldnâtfinishthatthought.Notrightnow.âIjustcanâtbelieveit.NeverinamillionyearswouldIhaveeverthoughthewouldturnonus.â
âI know.â He dragged his hand up the center of my back, threading hisfingersthroughmyhair.
âWhen did this happen?Was he alwaysworkingwith theQueen?Did heknowshewashereordidshegettohimsomehow?â
âWeârenevergoingtoknow.âThearmatmywaisttightened.âButyoudidtherightthingbackthere.â
Ihad.Thatdidnâtmakeitanyeasier.I swallowed again. âWhen she grabbedyouby the throat, Iâve never been
moreafraidinmylife.ââGottoadmit,Iwasnâtexactlyhappymyself.âHepaused.âButyoudidnât
seemafraid.Youwereactuallyprettybadassinyourresponse.ââIwouldâvedoneit.IsweartoâââIknow,âhewhispered.âAndthatscaresme.ââYouwereprettybadass,yourself.PunchingthePrinceandall.â
âIwanttoriphisthroatout,Ivy.âIshivered.âHedidnât...hedidnâteventrytostopyou.âSlowly,Iliftedmy
gaze tohis.âHedidnât retaliate.ThePrince Iknewwouldâve,Ren.Youknowthat.â
Renlookedaway,amusclethumpingalonghisjaw.âWhat are we going to do?â I whispered hoarsely. âWe have him in that
houseandacrazy,reallypowerfulQueenabouttodoGodknowswhat.WedonâtevenknowhowmanyOrdermembersareleftââMyvoicecracked.âThisis...thisisterrifying.â
Herestedhischinon topofmyhead.âWeâregoing to figure thisout,âhesaidafteramoment.âWehaveto.â
Ididnâtseehowwecould.Ifwedidnâtknowhowtodefeataprince,howinthehellwouldwedefeattheQueen?
Thehandinmyhairslidtomycheek.Rentiltedmyheadback,andmyeyesdrifted shut. He kissed me, and it was gentle and sweet, and somehow itremindedmethattherewasstillgoodsurroundingme.Thattherewasstillusinthismess.
Opening my eyes, I pulled back and cupped his cheek, wiping away asmudgeofblood.âWebetterheadinthere.â
âYeah.Webetter.âWewalkedintothehouse,andbothofusstiffenedatthesightofthePrince.
Fabianplacedahandonhisshoulder,steeringthesilentmanaway.âIdonâtlikethis.âRencrossedhisarmsasFabianledhisbrothertowardthe
kitchen.âAtall.ââMe neither.â I watched Tink buzz after them. I couldnât believe that the
Princehadbeeninthecarwithusandnowwasinthishousewithus.Therewassomuchtoworryabout.Toomuch.âAreweevensafehere?â
âIdonâtbelieveDanielknewwhereyouguyswerestaying,butthatdoesnâtmeantheywonâtfindout.âMilesdraggedahandoverhishead.âShit.WhatamIgoingtotellhiswife?â
âDoyouthinksheknewofhisactions?âFayeasked.âIwanttosayno,buthell,IneversawitcomingwithDaniel.Shecouldbe
inon it too.âShoulders tensed,he lookedaway.âIneed toget incontactwithsomeoneattheNewOrleansbranch.Ineedto...â
Heneededtomakesuretheywerealive.God.I couldnât let myself think of those I knewâthose I cared about possibly
beingdead.IfIwentdownthathellishhole,Iwouldprobablyneverresurface.Milesturnedtome,andforthesecondtimethatnight,Icouldseeemotionin
hisexpression.Itwassorrowthistime,deepsorrow.âWhatyoudidbackthere?WithDaniel?Youhadto.â
Iblinkedandswallowedagainstthesuddenburn.âIjustwantyoutoknowthat.âMilesshudderedwithasighashelookedat
FayeandKalen.âItâsjustusnow.âKalenliftedhischin.âWecanâtstayherelong.ThePrincemightâveputher
throughthewall,butitwouldnâthavekilledher.Wouldnâthaveeventakenheroutofcommissionforthatlong.â
âTheQueen.âFaye let out a raggedbreath. âI canât believe it.ThiswholetimeitwasBreena.â
âIfIdidnâtneedanymorereasontohateher.âIrubbedatmyhipwithmypalm.âWhatIdonâtgetisifBreenawasalwaystheQueen,thenhowwasIabletooverpowerherthatonetime?â
âI thinkyoucaughtheroff-guard.âAweaksmilegracedFayeâs lips,but itfadedquickly. âIdonât think sheever expectedyou to attack. I thought itwasjustBreenaâsarrogance.Inreality,itwastheQueenâsarrogance.â
IstillcouldnâtfathomhowwedidnâtknowthatshewastheQueen,butthenagain, as anOrdermember,Ren and Iwere raised and trained to believe thattherewerenocourts,noprinces,noqueens.Weâdbeenledtobelievethattheywerenothingbutdust.
Istartedtopace.âWe need to address something far more important at the moment,â Ren
said.âWhatinthehellarewegoingtodowithhim?Areweseriouslyjustgoingtolethimroamaround?Heââ
âI know, Ren. But I am telling you that man in there is not Drakeânotanymore.âFaye sat downononeof the thickly cushioned chairs. âThat is theolderbrotherofFabian.TheheirtotheSummerCourt.Inallreality,heshouldbetheKing.â
Igaveacurtshakeofmyhead.Ididnâtevenknowwhattosaytoallofthat.âAndwhereistherealDrake?Iâmassuminghewasreal,wasnâthe?TinksawhimonceintheOtherworld.â
âHe mustâve died in the war,â Kalen answered. âAnd Queen MorganainstilledFabianâsbrotherinhisplace.â
âAndnoneofyouknewthis?âRendemanded.âWedidnotgrowupintheOtherworld,âFayesaid,shakingherhead.âWe
never sawDrakeorFabianâsbrother.Wewouldnâthaveknown.WesawwhattheQueenwanted us to see. Someonewho could pass asDrake. That is howpowerfulherenchantmentis.â
IfTinkhadseenhimintheOtherworldbeforetheGreatWar,thenhowold
wasTinkreally?Geez.Butthatwasnâtimportant.âWhatifthisisatrick?ââDoyounotseehim?âFayescootedtotheedgeofherseat.âHeisnotthe
samemanI loathedandfeared.HedidnâtstrikebackwhenRenattacked.Thataloneshouldbeenoughevidence.â
Imethergaze.âIdonâtcare ifheâsTeamGoodFaenowandforever,heâsstillthemanIloatheandfear.â
Faye pressed her lips together. âI can understandwhy. I really do. But heattackedtheKnightsandtheQueen.YouhavetotrustmewhenIsayââ
âTrustyou?âIlaughedasIstoppedpacing,standinginfrontofher.âYouallhave lied to me since the beginning. You knew that Iâd be trapped in theOtherworldandyoufailedtotellmethat.â
âThatismessedup,âMileschimedin.Ishothimalook.âIâm glad weâve circled back to that little piece of fuckery.â Renâs voice
hardened to stone. âThere is noway in hell Ivy is completing that ritual. Noway.â
Fayetensed.âIjustwanttopointoutthatIdidnâtknowaboutthat.âKalenliftedhishand.
âNotatall.âIlookedathim.Kalenshrugged.âJustsaying.ââWehopedtohavefoundawaytoensurethatyouwerenottrapped,âFaye
begun.âWeâââYouhoped thatyouâdfindaway tomakesure Iwasnât trapped?Areyou
kiddingme?WhatdoyouthinkwouldâvehappenedtomeifwecompletedtheritualandIwastrappedwiththeevilversionofthePrince?â
âWedidnâthaveachoice!âFayeshot toherfeet,hereyesfierce.âYouarethe only halflingweknow, the only one strong enough to complete the ritual.What other option didwehave?Opening the doorswould destroy thisworld.Iâmnotbeingdramaticbysayingthat.Itwoulddestroyeverything.â
âSacrificeonetosavemany?âIlaughedharshly.âWehopeditwouldnâtcometothat.âRen stepped forward. âDo you knowhowbadly Iwant to end all of your
livesrightnow?ââIâm sure you do, Ren, but how is that going to help?â Miles raised his
brows.âWeâreit.Andifyoudonâttrustthem,Igetthat.ButthelastdamnthingI ever expected to do was find myself standing with fae and agreeing withthem.â
âYouagreewiththemaboutthePrince?âIwhirledonMiles.âSeriously?â
âWeâregoingtoneedhim,arenâtwe?âMilesmetmygazeandthenRenâs.âIfhereallyisnâtDrakeandheâsthatotherbigblonddudeâsbrother,thenweâregoingtoneedbothof themtodefeather,becausewhatIsawin thereâwhatIsawthatshewascapableofwasnothinglikeIâdeverseen.â
Isteppedback,surprised.âThenwhatarewegoingtodo?âFayesatbackdown.âTheQueenishere.
Doyouhaveanyideawhatthatmeansformortalsandfaealike?ââOh,Iâmguessingtheusualbloodbathisinstoreforeveryone,âIsnapped.âIknowwhatweneedtodo.âWe all turned at the sound of the voice. Itwashim. The Prince. Formally
knownasDrake,currentlystilltheguywhoholdsthenumberonespotonmyto-killlist.
Thebloodhadbeenwashedoffhis faceandhisnowblondhairwasdampandpushedbackfromhisface.âWeneedtostoptheQueen.â
Chapter32
MyheartstartedthumpingheavilyasIstaredatthePrince.Icouldfeeltheangerand tension rolling off of Ren, but it was nothing compared to the riot ofemotionscurrentlybattlinginsideofme.
BehindhimwasFabianandTink,whowasnolongerintinyTinkform.Hewasfull-grownandthankfullydressed.
âYouwanttoknowwhatweneedtodo,âhesaid,hisvoicenowmorelikeIremembered.Deep.Oddlyaccented.Iwantedtovomit.âWemuststopher.â
âNoshit,â I snapped,andhis leftbrow lifted slightly. âThere isno âweâ inanyofthis.â
Fabianexhaledroughly.âHeâsââThePrinceraisedhishand,silencinghisbrother.âShehaseveryrighttobe
angry.Tohateme.Asdoeshe.ââGlad weâre on the same page,â Ren bit out, his jaw tense. âItâs literally
takingeveryounceofmyself-controlnottotakethisstakeandshoveitthroughyourfuckingeye.â
I sucked in a sharpbreath asmygazedarted fromRen to thePrince.Thelatterâsfacewasimpassive,somuchsothatMileshadtohavebeenimpressedbytheutterlackofemotion.
âAndIwouldnotstopyou.âSurprise shot throughme. The Prince couldnât be real. Therewas noway
heâdstandthereandletRenkillhim.âReally?âRensteppedforward.âLetâsgivethatatry.âFabianstiffened,butitwasTinkwhospokeup.âGuys,Igetthatyouwantto
getstabby-stabby,kill-killwithhim,butyoureallyneedtoletthatgo.âIglaredathim.âEasyforyoutosay.ââItreallyisnâtthateasy.âTinkmetmyglare.âIknowwhathedidtoyou,but
whoheisnowisnotthePrinceyouknew.âMy breath caught. âThere is noway I could trust anything he has to say.
Enchantmentornot,heisthePrince.HeheldmeâââIknowwhatIâvedonetoyou.FromthemomentIsawyouinthathallway,
after theenchantmentwasbroken, I remembered. IclosemyeyesandIsee it.Whenitissilent,Ihearyourââ
âThatâsenough.âRenâsvoicewaslowwithwarning.HisgazeslippedfrommetoRen.âIrecallwhatIdidtoyou,howIbecame
youâââSeriously.Doyouhaveadeathwish?âMyhandswereshaking,soIclasped
themtogether.âPerhaps,âhemurmured,andIblinked.âWhattheQueenwantedisnotwhat
Iwanted. Itneverhasbeen. Ihaveno intentionof following throughwithherplan.â
âSoyoudonâtwanttoknockmeupnow?âHisjawtightened.âNooffense,butno.âIliftedmybrows.âRelieved.ââIknowthereisnexttonothingthatwillmakeyoubelievemeâââActually, there is.â An idea occurred to me just then. âHow would we
weakenaprinceenoughtobeabletokillthem?ââYouhaveâââBrother.âFabiangrippedhisbrotherâsshoulder.âIfyoutellthem,theywill
useitagainstyouâagainstus.ââItâsariskwemustbearthen,âthePrincereplied,shakingoffhisbrotherâs
hand.âThereare twoways toweakenus. Ifourmagic is turnedbackonus, itcanseverelywoundus,takingusmonthstoheal.Andthereissomethingthatisquitepoisonoustousifittouchesourskin.Worseifitinvadesourbloodstream.Thethreeofyoucarryitonyourperson.â
âWhat?âMilessteppedforward.âAfour-leafclover,âthePrinceanswered,andFabianclosedhiseyes.âItis
poisonousnotonlytous,buttoourKnightsandotherAncients.âMymouthdroppedopenasmyhandwenttothechainaroundmyneck.The
encasedcloverwas likeabodypart,suchapartofmethatIdidnâteventhinkaboutit.âAreyouserious?â
Henodded.âMostofyoualreadycarryourgreatestweakness.Usethatandathornstake,andwearenotsohardtokill.â
Claspingthebackofhisneck,Fabianlookedaway.âAndaQueen?âKalenasked,speakingupforthefirsttimesincethePrince
hadwalkedout.âWoulditweakenaQueen?ââItwould.Normally.QueenMorganahasbuiltupatolerancetoitoverthe
years.Itwillnotaffecther.ââOfcoursenot,âImuttered,crossingmyarmsasIglancedoveratRen.Hewasstillclutchingthethornstakeandhehadnâttakenhisgazeoffofthe
Prince. Not once. I couldnât tell how he felt about any of this beyond themurderousrageclearlyetchedintohisface.
âWhatdoestheQueenplantodo?âFayeaskedquietlywhileIwasstillhunguponthefactthatafour-leafclovercouldâveweakenedthedamnAncientsand
thePrincethisentiretime.âSheâd want to still open the doorway, right?âMiles sat on the arm of a
nearbycouch.âShecanâtwithoutaprincewillingtocarryoutherdemands.ââWhat if she finds amale halfling and engages in some bow-chicka-bow-
wow?âTinkasked.âTheprophecyhasnevermentionedwhatwouldhappenifaQueenorKing
procreatedwithahalfling,butIimagineitwouldwork,âthePrincesaid.Fabianfacedus.âItwouldhavethesameeffect.AKingorQueenisnotof
thisworld,asisahalflingandachildofsuchaunion.Itwouldundotheseals.âIexhaledroughly.âNowwehavetoworryabouttheQueenfindingsomeone
andgettingpregnant?ââMorganacannotconceive,âthePrinceanswered.âAndhowdoyouknowthis?âRenchallenged.âNo.Heâsright.âHopesparkedinFayeâseyes.âRemember?Itoldyouthat.âShehad.ThedayImetFabian.âThe legend we were taught was that Morgana had committed a great
misdeed and to escape having her powers stripped, she gave up the ability tocreatelife.â
âThis sounds likea reallybad fantasynovel,âRenmuttered, and Iblinkedslowly.
Everythingaboutthissoundedlikethat,butthatwasnothingnew.âWhatgreatmisdeeddidshecommit?âTinkaskedwithinterest.ThePrinceâsjawhardenedandtheglinttohiseyesmirroredwhatRenwas
giving off. I had a suspicion that whatever thing the Queen had done, it hadinvolvedthePrince.
âWhatwillshedonow?âIasked,makingsurewestayedontopic.âIdoubtsheâsjustgoingtotucktailandhide.â
âIfheroriginalplanwas to fail, shehadaback-up,â thePrince explained.âShewouldgobacktotheOtherworld,andwemuststopher.â
MylipspartedasIstaredathim.TherewasnowayIhadheardanyofthatright.
âIf shewas to go back to theOtherworld, thenwhywouldwe stop her?âKalenfrowned.
âYoudonâtunderstand,âFabianspokeup.âShehastheCrystal.IfshetakesthatbacktotheOtherworldwithher,shewillbeabletoreopenthedoorwaysatanytimefromherside.â
âShewillcomebackwithwhateverarmyshecangatherand thereare . . .creatures inourworld thatwouldwreakakindofhavocnomortalshaveever
seen before,â the Prince clipped out. âOut of pure spite and vengeance, shewouldlaywastetocities.Millionswoulddie.â
âWait.âRenfrowned.âThedoorwaysaresealedâââTheyweresealedwhenwecamethrough,weretheynot?âThePrincemet
hisstare.âTheycanbe reopenedagain.Notonlyare thereAncientswilling toendtheirlivestoopenthedoorsoncemore,shewouldnâtneedthem.ShecouldopenthedoorwiththeCrystal.â
I rememberedwhenheâdcome through.Thatwasanight Iâdnever forget.âIfsheâsalwaysbeenabletoopenthedoortotheOtherworld,thenwhyhasnâtshe before? Why not just bring the army through instead of trying to get ahalflingpregnant?â
âBecauseshecanonlygothroughthegatewayshecamethrough,âhesaid.âAndwith the Crystal, she wonât need to wait until theWinter Solstice. TheCrystalisstrongenoughtoopenanygateway.â
Myshoulderstensed.NearlyallofthedoorwaysintheOtherworldhadbeendestroyed by the browniesâall except the one in New Orleans. The babyapocalypsewouldâveopenedall thedoorways,whether theyweredestroyedornot.
âSheknowsthatopeningallthedoorwayswouldhaveagreaterimpactthanjustone.TheOrderwouldnâtbeabletostopwhatevercomesthroughall thosedoorsatonce.â
ThePrincenodded.UnderstandingcreptintoRenâsexpression.âSheâsgoingtotrytogothrough
thegatewayatthehousenexttotheLaLauriehouse.ââWe need to get back there before she does.â The Princeâs gaze flickered
overus.âWehavetokillher.Ifwedonât,shewilltakethatCrystalwithherandshewillbeback,strongerthanbefore.â
âAndprobablyalotmorepissed,âTinkguessed.âHowdowekillaQueen?Yousaidyourselfshecanâtbeweakenedbythe
clovers,âMilessaid.âSheâllhavewhatisleftoftheKnightswithher,butifyouguystakecareof
them,mybrotherandIwilltakecareoftheQueen.âIopenedmymouthtointerrupt.âBetweenthetwoofus,weshouldbeabletotakeherout.âFabianliftedhis
chin.âSheisthemostpowerfulofourkind,butsheisnotunstoppable.Notifweallworktogether.â
Glancing over atRen, Imet his gaze. I exhaled slowly.Even though heâdtolduswhatwouldweakenhim,trustinghimwasstillahugerisk.
âYouhavenoreasontotrustmeandIdonâtblameyouforthat,âthePrince
said,seemingtoknowmythoughts.âButyouhavenootheroption.âAndhewasright.Wehadnootheroptionbuttotrusthim.
WeweregoingtoleaveforNewOrleansimmediately,soRenandIwentbacktotheroomwespentthenightintograbourbags.
Heclosedthedoorbehindus.âIdonâtlikethis.Atall.âIsighedwearily,pushingastrandofhairoutofmyface.Itfellbackasecond
later.âMeneither.ââBut thatbastard is right.âHecrossed the room,grabbingoneof thebags,
practicallyrippingthezipperopen.âWecanâtlettheQueentaketheCrystalbacktotheOtherworld.â
Renwasright.Rightnow,FayewasgettingincontactwithTanner,fillinghiminonwhat
hadgonedownandwhatweâdlearned.TheywereexpectingusâallofusâtoreturntoNewOrleans.
Noneofusweresureofwhowecouldcontact in theNewOrleansbranchthatwasnâtworking for theQueen, so at this timewewerenât reachingout tothem.
Idonâtthinkanyofusfeltcomfortablewithanyofthis,butlikethePrincehadsaid,wedidnâthaveanoptionbuttokeeptravelingdowntheroadwewereon.
Ibitdownonmylip.âIjust...âShovingtheshirtheâdwornthedaybeforeintothebag,Renlookedoverhis
shoulderatme.Whateverhemustâveseeninmyfacemadehimstopandfaceme.Alongmomentpassedandthenheasked,âWhereareyouat,Ivy?â
I knew what that question meant, and I didnât know how to answer it.Walking over to the bed, I sat down. âI just donât know about anythinganymore.â I slowly shookmy head. âEvery time I think I know somethingâevery time I think I have a handle on what is going on, everything changes.Everything.â
Renwassilentashewatchedme.Iliftedmyhandshelplessly.âHeisrightdownthehall.Him.ThePrince,but
. . .heâsnothimanymore.At least thatâshowitseems.Butwhatdoweknowanymore? It could be another trap. Look at Daniel. Never in a million yearswouldIhaveeverbelievedforasecondhewascapableofbetrayingus.Buthedid.Sowhatdoweknow?Itcouldââ
âIdonât think itâsa trap,âhesaid,surprisingme.Renknelt in frontofme,placinghishandsonmyknees.âIdonâtcareifthatbastardhadnoideawhathewas doing while he was under the enchantment. That doesnât mean I donâtbelieveit,butIcanâtlookathimandnotseewhathedidtoyou,whathewantedtodotoyou.ItdoesnâtmatterthatitwastheQueencontrollinghim.Iâdrathershoveastakethroughhischestthanworkwithhim.â
âDitto,âImurmured.âButI . . . fuck,IcanâtbelieveIâmsayingthis,butIbelievehimâbelieve
whathesaidabouttheQueen.Idonâtknowwhatinthehelltheirhistoryis,butitâsevidenthehatesherasmuchaswehatehim.â
Thatlastpartbroughtawrygrintomylips.âIstilldonâtlikehim,butifweâregoingtostoptheQueen,weneedhim,and
weneedFabian.âHesqueezedmyknees.âButwedohaveachoice.ââHow?Howdowehaveanyotheroption?âThosestunningemeraldeyesmetandheldmine.âWeleave.âAtfirst,IdidnâtthinkIheardhimright.âWhat?ââWe leave,Sweetness.Weget the hell out of here, donât tell anyonewhat
weâredoing,andwegetasfarawayaswecan.WecanevenbringTink, ifhewants to go.âOne side of his lips kicked up. âWe could travel, see theworldbeforeitinevitablygoestoshit.Wecouldlive.WeâvegivenyearsofourlivestotheOrder,toourduties.Wedonâthavetogivethemasecondmore.â
Mybreathcaughtinmythroatasawildyearningsprungtolifedeepinsideme.Couldwedo that?Weâdbewantedby theOrder,butwhatwas leftof theOrder anyway? Somanywere dead, and the rest we didnât even know if wecouldtrust.Wouldtheyevencomelookingforuswhiletheshithitthefanandsplatteredeverywhere?Probablynot.Wecouldliveâlivenormallivesuntilwehadtofacewhatwashappeningtotheworld.
âWehaveachoice,Ivy.âHisgazedidnâtwaver.âWhateveryouwanttodo,Iamwithyou.Ahundredpercent.â
Air lodged inmy throat. Itwasalmost tooeasy tosayyes,becausesayingyeswouldbebetter.IwouldnâthavetoworryaboutRengettinghurtordying,becausetherewasnowayweweregoingtofaceoffwiththeQueenandnotlosesomeone.Itwasstatisticallyimpossible.IcouldmakeTinkleavewithus.Weâdbesafeandhappy,atleastforalittlewhile.
IfIclosedmyeyes,Icouldalmostseeusâthethreeustravelingtheworld,visitingplacesweâdnevergetthechanceto.WewouldnâtworryaboutstoppingtheQueenorifwecouldtrustthePrince.LikeRenhadsaid,wewouldliveaslongaswecould.
ButI...Icouldnâtsayyes.
Thewordwouldnâtevenformonthetipofmytongue.Itwasnâtaboutduty.Itwasnât even about living normal lives. I didnât have it inme towalk awaywhenIknewwhatwashappeningâwhatwasgoingtohappen,andIknewRenwouldonlydothatforme,ifIchosetowalkaway.
âIcanât,âIwhispered.âIcanâtwalkaway.Iâmsorry.ââIdidnât thinkyouwould.âRisinghalfway,hecuppedmycheeks.âYouâre
toobravetorunandhide,butwehavethatchoiceandweâremakingthechoicetostayandfightandkickass.â
âYeah,weare.â
Chapter33
We arrived in New Orleans earlyWednesday morning, having drove straightthrough,onlystoppingforgasandtograbaquickbitetoeat.IdidnâtknowhowIfellasleep in thatcar,sittingbetweenMilesandRen,but Ihadwithhalfmyupper body in Renâs lap. Heâd fallen asleep too, with his head against thewindowandhishandonmyhip.WhenIwokeup,IfoundTinktwistedaroundinhisseat,staringatme.
âHi,âhewhispered.âHey.â I sat up,wakingRen as I rubbed a handovermy face. âWereyou
watchingmesleep?ââMaybe.âRenliftedhisarmawayfrommeashestretchedouthisneck.âYouâresucha
freak.ââIam.âTinkgrinned.âWeârehere,bytheway.Justpullingupnow.âIglancedoveratMilesandsawthathewasstaringatwhatappearedtobean
abandonedbuilding.âThey toldme thiswas a powerful glamour,â he said, his voice hoarse. âI
canâtbelievethishasbeenherethiswholetimeandIhadnoidea.ââKindofhowIfelt.âIyawned.âJustwaituntilyouseetheinside.âThe SUV stopped and the doors swung open. Fabian turned towardMiles
before he climbed out. âYouâre being trustedwith something very few peoplehave.Youbetraythefaehere,andIwillpersonallymakeitsothatyouwishyouweredead.â
Miles heldFabianâs gaze. âI have no desire to betray these fae if they arewhatyousaytheyare.â
âYouwillseethatIhavenotlied.âIresistedtheurgetopointoutthathemaynotbelyingaboutthisplace,but
thefaeherewerestillliar-mc-liar-faces.FabianstudiedMilesforamomentandthensteppedoutoftheSUV.Getting
out of the car and sitting after somany hours was painful as all get out as Iwalkedthecrampsinmymusclesoff.
Theglamourofthebuildingwasstillintactastherusted-overdooropened.Wehurriedinside,outof thedarknight.MileshadthesameexpressiononhisfacethatIdidthefirsttimeIsawthepoweroftheglamourfadeaway,revealingtheluxurioushotelinside.
âJesus,â hemuttered, rubbing a hand on his face as he took in the grandlobby.
âItâsalottotakein,isnâtit?âIturnedtohim.âAndyouhadnoideathatthefaeworkedwiththeOrderatonetime?â
âIâdheardthestories,butIthoughttheywererumors.Ididnâtbelievetherewerefaethatdidnâtfeed.Justdidnât thinkit . . .âHetrailedoffashewatchedTannerapproachus.
AndIknewwhyhehadbeenstrucksilent.Tannerwas livingandwalkingproofofafaewhodidnâtfeed.BehindhimwasBrightonandhermother.
âMerle?âMilesloweredhishandashestaredatthewoman.âYou look like a ghost done walked over your grave.â Merle lifted her
brows,andherdaughterseemedtotakeadeepbreath.Brightonâshairwasdown,and itwas probably the first time Iâd seen herwear it like that. It fell in softwavesand loosecurls, reaching themiddleofherback.ShegaveRenand Ialittlesmile.
Milesgapedather.âYouknewaboutthis?ââShehasknownforsometime.âTannerstoppedinfrontofMiles,extending
ahand.âIamTanner.ââMiles.âAmomentpassed and thenhe shookTannerâshand. âUh,nice to
meetyou.âTannerstartedtorespond,buthisgazeflickedbehindus.HedroppedMilesâ
handandsteppedback.âFabian?Isthis...?ââYes.âFabianstoodbesideTink.âThisismybrother.âTannerpaledashesteppedaroundKalenandFaye,hiseyeswideandfullof
wonder.âOurKing.ââKing?âRenlookeddownatme,andIshrugged.ThePrince showedno responseasTannerbowed in frontofhim.âIt is an
honor,âTannersaid.IwaswaitingforhimtokissthePrinceâshand.âThisisweird,âIwhisperedtoRen.âEverythingisweird.âThePrinceglancedatusandthenspoke.âWeshouldbegintoplan.ââOf course.â Tanner straightened. âPlease come this way. We have
refreshmentssetup.âIarchedabrowasTannerspunonhisheel.Merle eyed the Prince with distaste and a hefty dose of distrust. âAn
enchantment,âshemuttered.âHowclichĂ©.âThePrinceâscoolgazeflickeredoverher.âAgreed.âMerlefrownedassheeyedhim.FollowingTanner, thePrincepassedBrighton. I onlyknewheâd looked in
her direction based on how wide her eyes grew and how she stepped back,bumpingintothewall.
PoorBrighton.We all ended up in one of the large meeting rooms, and there were
refreshments.Coffee.Juice.Bagels.Fruit.Anentiredamnbuffetofcoldcuts.IdidnâtgetthattreatmentwhenIshowedup.Whatever.Plopping down on the couch, I stretchedmy legs out and leaned into the
thickcushion.âSo,youknowwhatâsgoingon?âIaskedasTinksatdownonthearmbesideme.
Tannernoddedashesatinthechairacrossfromus.âIammostsorrytohearaboutthebetrayalofyourleader.â
Bitingdownonmylip,Ibreathedthroughthatsting.âSowerewe.âRensatnexttome,hislegpressingagainstmine.âAndwewerealsosorryto
hearthatyouknewthatIvywouldbetrappedintheOtherworldifshecompletedtheritual.â
Tannerâs cheekbonesdeepened in color. âAs I amsureFayeexplained,wehopedtofindawayaroundthat.â
âSure,âImuttered.ItwasnâtthatIdidnâtbelievethem.Ijustdidnâtbelievethere was a way, and they probably knew that deep down. I was the livingembodimentofsacrifice thefewto thesavethemany.Icouldunderstandthat.DidnâtmeanIwasokaywithit.
âDoesnâtmatternow,does it?âMerle said, turningwitha cupof coffee inherhands.Ilookedaround,notseeingBrighton.âOurPrinceisnâtinterestedinputtingaseedinyourbellyanylonger.â
Igroaned, sinking further into thecouchasTink laughedunderhisbreath.Ren,however,didnâtfindthecommentnearlyasamusing.
NeitherdidthePrince.âNo.Instead,wehaveapowerfulQueenthatwillbeclose to impossible to kill andwe donât nearly have enough time to plan andprepareforherattempttoopenthegateway.â
MerlesmiledatthePrince.âAhyes,thatisaproblem,butnotnearlyasbadasallthegatewaysspringingopenallatonce.â
Rensighed.âBothsoundprettyterrible.Weallcanagreeonthat.Whendoyouthinkshewillarrivehere?â
ThePrincedidnotsitoreat.HestoodbehindthechairFabiansat in,armsfolded. âShewillmost likelymake it here by late tonight. Shewill notwastetime,notwhensheknowsthatshewillfacebothFabianandI.â
Iexhaledroughly.âSo,wehavewhat?Twelvehours,giveortakeafew?ââThatwouldbecorrect.Itwonâtbelong.â
Renstood.âThenweneedtogetready.Restupasmuchaswecan.Allofus.â
âAndthenwhat?âTinkasked.âIâll seewho is still left in theOrder thatwecan trust,âMiles spoke from
wherehestoodbythebuffetoffoodnoonewastouching.âIâmhopingtherearesomethatareleft.â
I remembered the look onDylanâs facewhenVal betrayed us. I hoped hehadnâtcrossedovertotheevilside,butIdidnâtevenknowifhewasstillalive.OrifJackiewasoranyoftheotherOrdermembersIâdknown.
âYouwillhaveourmostskilledwarriors,âTannersaid.âSomearealreadyatthegateway.Shehasnotshowedyet,buttheyarethereandtheyareready.â
âAndyouhaveme,âTinkchimedin.Iopenedmymouth,butFabianbeatmetoit.âYoumuststaybehind.âMybrowslifted.âForonce,Iagreewithyou.âTinkshotfromthearmofthecouch.âThisisbullshit.Icanhelp.ââIknowyoucan,but if theQueenwas to somehowgetaholdofyouand
wasabletocontrolyou,therewouldbenohope.âFabianrose.âWeneedyoutostayasfarawayfromheraspossible.Wealsoneedyouhere.Thatishowyouhelpus.â
âYouknowIcanhelp.YouknowhowstrongandpowerfulIam.âTinkâsjawwasashardasgranite,butforonceIkeptmymouthshut.
âTheQueenwasabletocontrolmebecauseIhadbeenwoundedinbattle.Iwas weakened and she took full advantage of that.â The Princeâs voice washeavyashespoke.âAndbecauseofthat,Ibecameamonster.Shewoulddothesame to you. She knows what it would mean to have a brownie under hercontrol.Wecannotriskthat.Youcannot.â
Foldinghisarms,Tinkfellsilent.âTink,âIcalledout,leaningforward.Hedidnâtmoveforamomentandthenheturnedtome.âIknowyouwant
metostayback.ââIdo.Weneedyouto.âImethisangrystare.âBecauseifwefail,weneed
someone to protect the fae here. Theywill be the only thing left between theQueenandherdestroyingtheworldwithherarmy.Youwillbeourlasthope.â
Tinkstaredatme.âLikeObi-Wan?âMylipstwitched.âYeah,likehim.âTanner twisted inhis chair sohe could seeTink. âYouwill defendus.We
needyouhere.âHischestpuffedup.âI...Iwilldothat.Iwillmakesurenothinghappensto
thosehere.âHeshottomysideandkneeledsowewereateyelevel.âButyou
willcomeback.Allofyou.âHecurledhislipinRenâsdirection.âEvenhim.ââWewill,âIsaid,makingapromiseIwasgoingtodoeverydamnthingin
myabilitytokeep.âWewillcomeback.â
I closed the door behind us and leaned against it as Ren walked over to thedresser,unhookingthedaggersalonghiship.IwasquietasIwatchedhim,butmyheartwaspounding.
Ilovedthisman.I loved him because he chasedwhen I ran. I loved him because he never
gave up on me, not when I was being held captive and not when Iâd closedmyselfoff,shuttingeveryoneout.Ilovedhimbecausehewasagoodman,andifIwantedtosayscrewallofthisandleaverightnow,heâdberighttherewithme.IlovedhimbecauseIknewthathewouldbestandingnexttomelater,readytofightbymyside.
Ijustlovedhim.Whenhefinishedunloadingwhatwouldhavebeenanalarmingnumberof
weaponstoanyoneelse,heturnedtome.Weneededtosleeptheentireday.Wehadto,becauseweneededtobewell-restedandthensomeforwhatwe
weregoingtofacetonight.Neither of us spoke as our gazes collided and connected. There were no
words.Theredidnâtneedtobe. Intentfilled thosemoss-greeneyes.Mybreathcaught as raw emotion swelled in my throat. Pushing away from the door, Iwalkedovertohim.
Ren gripped my hips, lifting me clean off the floor. I wrapped my legsaroundhisleanwaist.Hisstronghandsgrippedmyrearashebroughtmylipstohis. Therewas awild, out-of-control quality to theway he kissedme. It wasneedyanddemanding,breathtakinganddesperateashe rockedmeagainsthiships.ImoanedintohiskissasIgrabbedathisshirt,wantingitoffandwantingitoffnow.
Renputmedown,bending slightly as I pulledhis shirt off. Iwent forhispants,andhehelped,kickingoffhisshoesandshuckingoffhispantsandbriefsinrecordtime.
âNaked,âhegrowled.âNow.âIshudderedandthendidasheordered,strippingoutofmyclothes.Hegrew
impatient,helpingwiththeshoesandpants,andwithinminutes,Iwasnakedandonmyback,andRenâsmouthwasmovingovermineoncemore.Hishardlength
rocked againstme, and I clutched his shoulders,moaning as he nipped atmychinandthesideofmyneck.
Whatwedidinthosemoments...Itwas fast and hard and beautiful.Hewas overme and then insideme. I
archedagainsthim,throbbingandachingashetookcompletecontrol.Lustandsomething far more powerful consumed me as his hips moved against mine,deepandslowatfirst.
Hisrestraintbrokeandhebegantothrustdeeper,harder,andIâdneverfeltfuller,moredesperateformoreasourbodiesmovedfrantically.Eachdeep,hardplungedroveuptheintensityuntil itwasatafeverishpace.Mylegstightenedaround him, and then that exquisite feeling deepwithinme coiled and coiled.Myheadspunashemovedfaster,grindinghishipsagainstmineashegrippedmychin,keepingmymouthwithhis.
AndthenIbrokeapart,shatteringintoamillionlittlepiecesasIcriedintohiskiss.Thrownsohighbythetight,mind-numbingwavesofpleasure,IdidnâtthinkIcouldtakeanymore,butIdid.Overandoverasheroseontohiskneesand liftedme up, driving intomewith such reckless abandon that I thought Iwoulddie.Snaking an armaroundmywaist, he liftedmeontomyknees andintohislips.Hethrustoncemoreashisarmsfoldedaroundme,sealingmybodytohisashecame,hislargebodyshuddering.
MymuscleswerelimpanduselessbythetimeheloweredmedownsoIwashalfspreadacrosshischest,andthenneitherofusmovedforalongtimeaswestruggledtogetourbreathingundercontrol.
Itwasmewhobrokethesilence.âThatwas...âHischestrosewithaheavybreath.âIknow.âIkissedtheslickskinofhischestasIletmyeyesdriftshut,snugglingclose
tohim.âIvy?ââMmm?ââTonightâoncetheQueenisgone?Iwanttogobacktomyplace.Iwantus
tosleepinmybed.Iwanttowakeuptomorrowinmybedwithyou.âI smiled even thoughmy stomachwas filledwithknots, chasing away the
languidbliss.Planningforlaterwasamazing,butitwasalsoscaryashell.âIâdlikethat.â
âYeah?ââYeah.âRenpulledmeclosertohisside.âGood.âI tried to smile again, but I couldnât.Notwhen balls of dread and unease
werepilingatopeachotherinmystomach.Wouldwehaveatonight?
Wouldwehaveatomorrow?
Aftersleepingmostofthedayandrestingasmuchaspossible,ourcrewminusTink arrived at the house next to the infamous LaLaurie Mansion just afterseven.WeclimbedoutonRoyal,becausetherewasnowaythatSUVwasgoingtomakeitdownthenarrowroadwithouttakingouttourists.
Nervousenergyfilledme,somethingIfeltmanytimesbefore,buttherewasarazorsharpqualitytoitthistime.Knowingthatwewereabouttofacethemostdangerousfaeknownbroughttheentireworldintostarkclarity.
Everything had changed since the last time IwalkedRoyal, but in away,nothing had. I was still the same Ivy who walked this street and entered thehouseallthoseweeksago,preparedtofightandtodietoprotectthecity.Iwasstillher.Yeah,Icarriedalittlemorebaggagewithme.Yeah,Iâdbeenliedtoandbetrayed,butIwasstronger.Iwasmoreprepared,andIwasreadytoprotectthiscityagain.
Steppingonto the sidewalkofRoyalwas like . . .God, itwas like finallycoming home. It had been so long since I walked these streets. Too long. Iglanceddownthestreet,takingintheoldbuildingsandsidewalkscrowdedwithtourists and locals, and I listened to the laughter and shouts, theblaringhornsanddistantwhirlingsirens.
Home.This was homeâmy home, our home. I wasnât going to let some Queen
Bitchbring somekindofarmy through thisgateway, layingwaste to thiscity.Hellno.Resolvefilledme.
âIâllbedamnedifIletherwin.ââWhat?âRenasked,steppinguponthecurb.Turningtohim,Ismiledalittle.âJustthinkingoutloud.âHeslidmeasidelongglanceasthebrotherspassedus.Peoplestoppedand
stared as they rounded the corner to what used to be called Hospital Street.Couldnâtblame them.The twowerewellover six feet and looked likeVikingconquerors.
FayeandKalenfollowedusaswetrailedbehindthebrothers.Thehousewasjust as creepyand rundownas I remembered,but aSummer fae stoodoutsidethistime,guardingthebuilding.
Thatwasdifferent.Strangedays.Walking inside, there was no suppressing the shudder the place always
broughton,evenwiththeroomsfullofpeople.Mileswasalreadythere,aswereseveralOrdermembers.
So relieved to see Jackie, I shot forward and gave her a quick hug. Itobviouslysurprisedher,becauseittookamomentforhertoreturnthegesture.
IturnedandlookedatDylan.Hesteppedback,andIknewhewasgoingtobeano-goonthewholehugthing.âIâmreallygladtoseeyoutwo.â
JackieeyedmeintenselywhileDylanstaredatmyears.âWhathappenedtoyou,Ivy?â
âLongstory,âIsaid,awarethatRenwaswatchingusanddefinitelylistening.âButIâmnotââ
âEvil?âJackiesuggested.âHalflingornot,youâvealwaysbeenalittleevil.ââNotruerwordshaveeverbeenspoken,âDylansaid.Mylipstwitchedintoasmallgrin.âTrue.ââFreaking sucks aboutDaniel though.â Jackie shookher head. âIwouldnât
havebelievedit,but...ââButtherehavebeentoomanyunexplainedOrderdeathsinthelastcouple
of weeks, most of them being found dead at home.â A muscle ticked alongDylanâsjaw.âSkilledmembersnotcarelessenoughtobefollowedhome.OncewetalkedtoMiles,itjuststartedtomakesense.â
âDanielâswife?âJackieâs shoulders tensed. âNoonehasheard fromher inweeks.Wedonât
knowifsheâsdeadornot,butwecheckedouttheirhouseaftertalkingtoMiles.Herpursewasthere,sowasherphone,butshewasnât.â
âThatâsnotagoodsign,âIsaid.âNope,âDylanagreed.âWedonâtknowifshewasawareofwhatDanielwas
doingornot,butattheendofthedayitdoesnâtreallymatter.Weâvelostoverhalfofouractivemembershere.â
Aballofemotionfilledmythroat.Theirdeathsweresounfair,sofreakingsenseless.âSo, thecity isreallyscrewedif theQueencomesbackthroughthisgatewaywithahordeofOtherworldcreatures?â
Jackienodded.âHey.â Ren nodded at the two as he curled an arm aroundmy shoulders.
Dipping his head, he kissed my cheek, and my heart squeezed in the bestpossibleway.Ilovedallthosequickkisses,andIâdnevergrowtiredofthem.IjusthopedIhadachancetoprovethat.âIâmgoingtoheadupstairs.â
âOkay.Berightup.âRenwalkedahead,scopingout the interior.Nothinghadchangedsince the
lasttimeweâdbeeninhere.AtleastasfarasIremembered,buttheair...yeah,theairwasheavier.Ididnâtthinkithadanythingtodowiththedoorwaybeing
here,butmoresowithallthedeaththathadoccurredthefirsttimeithadbeenopened.
Ihadahorriblefeelingtonightweâdbeaddingtothatheaviness.âIvy.âStiffeningat the soundof thePrinceâsvoice, I turned.Tension seeped into
mymusclesasmygazemethis.Hestoppedinfrontofme.âAreyoureadyfortonight?âIliftedashoulder.âAsreadyasIcanbe.Areyou?âTherewasatwitchtohislips,asifhewishedtosmilebutdidnâtknowhow.
âAsreadyasIcanbe.ââCool.âIstartedtoturnaway.âIâmsorry,âhesaid,speakingthosetwowordsinalowvoice.MybreathcaughtasIfacedhimoncemore.âWhat?ââIamsorry.Iknowmyapologymeansnothing.ThethingsIâvedonetoyou,
thethingsItriedtodo...âHetrailedoff,hisvoicehoarse.âIdonotaskforyourforgiveness for things I couldnever forgivemyself for, but I am sorry for thepainandterrorIâvecausedââ
âStop,âIraspedout,brieflyclosingmyeyes.Thebitter tangleofemotionscurledaroundmyheart.âI...Iappreciatetheapology.Ido,butI...âIthoughtbacktowhatfeltlikealifetimeago.âIoncewasunderthecompulsionofafae.HowIâdendedupunderacompulsionhadbeenmyfault.IâdbeenstupidandIpaidforthat.Completelyundertheirglamour,Iâdletfaeintoahousewheretheykilledeveryonewhowasimportanttome.SoIknowwhatitfeelsliketohavenocontrolanddothingsyouneverwould,butI...â
âIunderstand,âhesimplysaidafteralongmoment.My gaze shot to his, and I thought . . . I thought that maybe he did
understandwhatIcouldnâtevenputintowords.ItwasnâtthatIdidnâtunderstandhe hadnât been in control.Heâd even been under a spell, devoid of consciouschoice or will, and I guessed that was worse than anything Ren and I hadsuffered.Iunderstoodthat,butitwasstillhard.ThatIcouldunderstandhowhebecamethePrincethatterrifiedme,howhehadnâtbeenresponsible,butallthatknowledgedidnâtchangethefactthatforgivingandforgettingmayneverbeinthecards.
The Prince gaveme a curt bow and then he stepped aroundme, headingupstairs,andIwasleftstandingthere,staringattheplacewhereheoncewas.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I pushed that mess of memories and emotionsassociatedwithmycaptureandheadedupstairs.Nowwasnotthetimetodwellonanyofthat.IneededtohaveaclearheadifIhadanychanceofsurvivingthisnight.
Milesfollowedmeup,andImademywaydownthenarrow,darkhallway.Awave of goosebumps spread over my skin as I neared the entrance to thebedroom.
As I walked through the door and found Ren standing by a boarded-upwindownearawoodenchair,myheartstartedkickingaroundinmychest,doinganerraticdance.
âItâskindoflikewecamefullcircle,isnâtit?âIsaidtoRen.Henoddedasheeyedthesealedclosetdoorâthegateway.Rightnowitjust
lookedlikeanynormaldoorinanold-as-hellhousewithawhiteceramichandlethatmost likely jiggled.Therewas a gapbetween the topof thedoor and theframe.Itsatslightlycrooked.
âItis.âRenpausedasalopsidedgrinappeared.âInareallymessedupway.âCurlinganarmaroundhim,Ididnâtcarewhatitlookedliketotheothers.I
wantedtofeelhistattooedskinundermineforaslongasIcould.I didnât know how much time had passed. Maybe a handful of minutes.
Maybeanhour.Itfeltliketimehadsloweddowntoacrawlandalsospedupatthesametime.
Butwedidnâthavetowaitlong.The Prince stiffened and then turned to the doorway. A strange stillness
permeatedtheroom.âItâstime.â
Chapter34
Ashiversnakeditswaydownmyspine,andmyhandsautomaticallywenttotheiron stakes onmy thighs.Tiny hairs rose onmybody.All aroundme, peoplebegantoreacttothepeculiartensionseepingintothehouse.
Dylanblewoutatersebreathanditpuffedintoamistycloud.âIsitjustmeordidthetempsjustdropbytwentydegrees?â
âItâsnotjustyou,âRenreplied.Ice formedover thedoorframeand seepedover thewalls as a soft, highly
feminine giggle rose fromdownstairs.Abone-coldwindwhipped through theroom.
âTheyârehere,âJackiewhispered,tendrilsofherhairlifting.AhorriblesenseofdĂ©jĂ vuslippedovermeasIheardthepoundingfeetand
creakingfloorboards.Weâdbeenherebefore.Itallstartedhere,andithadbeenabloodbath.
IlookedatRen.Hisgazemetmine.Hewinked.Onesideofmylipskickedup.âIloveyou.ââProveittomelater.ââIwill,âIpromisedastheaircaughtinmythroat.The Summer fae stepped forward, lifting crossbows as the Queenâs fae
reachedthehallway,andthentheywerehere.The first through the iced-over doorway was an ordinary fae, and Kalen
caughtitinthechestwithaquick,cleanstrike.Andthentherewasanother,andJackietookoutthatonenext.
And then they just kept coming, spilling through the open doorway like aplagueof locusts.Therewere somany that they filled the room,and the floorrattled like dry, angry bones under the weight. The wave of Queenâs faeswallowedours, taking themdown.Screams ripped through theair asdaggersandteethtorethroughflesh.
IforcedmylungstoinflateandthenIletgoofthefearanddreadthatalwayscamewiththiskindofbattle.Isprangintoaction,likeIâdbeentrainedtodoâborn to do. I caught the nearest fae, slamming the dagger home. Instinct tookover. I spun,extendingmyarmandcatchinganother fae just asRen launchedforwardasthefirstKnightappeared.
Theywouldnâtbeaseasytokill.Dippingdown,hecaughttheAncientinthestomachwithhisshoulder.The
forceofthebroadblowflippedtheAncientover.Helandedonhisbackwithagrunt of surprise. Ren spun skillfully, thrusting the thorn stake deep into theAncientâs chest. Renwhirled, shoulders tense,mouth nothing but a slash of aline.
Iturnedatthesoundofpoundingfeet.AnAncientwasgunningforme,eyesfullofhatred.Mymusclestensedlikedtheyalwaysdidbeforeengaginginbattlewithanenemythatwasnâtgoingtobetakendowneasily.Iwaitedfortheperfectmoment,knowingIhadtobesmartaboutthis.HehadatonmoremuscleonhimthanIdid,butIwasstrongerthanthelasttimeIstoodinthishouse.Hereachedforme,andIdartedunderhisarm.Springingupbehindhim,Islammedmyfootintohisback.He letout a roarofpainas Idragged the irondaggeralong thebackofhisneck,usingeverythinginmetocutthroughboneandtissue.Bloodsprayed, dottingmy chest and face. His roar ended in a gurgle as the daggerpunchedthroughtheotherside.Jerkingmyarmtotheright,Iseveredhishead.Hisbody fell forwardandhisheadwent straightdown, landing ina splat thatturnedmystomach.
Gross.Sofreakinggross.Aharshshoutdrewmyattention,andIspunaround.Myheartdroppedlikea
stone.Renwassurrounded,twoAncientsathisbackandthreefaeathisfront.Bloodtrickledfromthecornerofhismouthasheduckedablowthatwouldâvemostlikelyknockedhimoutorworse.Hewaspushedbackandafaejumpedonhisback.Literally.Likeafreakingspidermonkey.
I shot forward and gripped the back of the faeâs shirt, yanking him off ofRen.Ithrewittothefloorandswoopeddown,jabbingthedaggerdeepintoitschest. That fae was no more by the time I straightened and looked over myshoulder.
Renhad takenoutoneof theAncientsbasedon theheadlessbodynext tohim,buthewasstillsurroundedandtherewasanuglygashalonghisforeheadthatstolemybreath. Istarted towardhimjustas Icaughtsightof thePrinces.The brotherswere tearing through the fae like theywere nothing but paper. IcouldnâtseeKalenorFayeoranyoneelse in themess. Ihoped that theywerestillstanding.
GrabbingthefaeclosesttoRen,Ispunheraround.Thefaeâseyeswidenedinshockasthestakecutthroughherskinlikeahotknifethroughbutter.Ijerkedtheweaponout,mygazealreadyswingingtowardâ
Abodyslammedintome.Knockedoffbalance,Ifellontomyside.Aburst
ofpanichitmeasIrolledontomyknees.Istartedtogetup,butpainexplodedalong my back as a boot came down, knocking my legs and arms out fromunderneathme.IdidnâtevenknowhowImanagedtoholdontomyweaponsasmychinknockedoffthewoodfloor.
Grindingmy jaw through the pain, I grunted as hard fingers dug intomyshoulders, roughly flipping me over. I didnât even have a chance to react. Aheartbeatlater,anAncientwasontopofme,handsencirclingmythroat.
My oxygen was cut off as he squeezed down, putting pressure on fragilebones. He was going to snap my neck like a twig! Panic exploded in mystomach.Ireactedwithoutthought.Liftingbothofmyarms,IjabbedthestakesintoeithersideoftheAncientâsneck.Thefaeâshandsleftmythroat,butitwastoo late to stopme. Screaming, I cut through, severing the spinal cord.BloodspurtedastheAncienttrembledandthenfelltotheside.
Rollingaway,IsprangtomyfeetandspunbacktoRen.Icameupbehindthetwofae,slammingmystakeintothebackofone.Theotherwhirledonme,screeching.
âHi!âIchirped,dippingdownasitswungatme.Ilaunchedup,kickingoutandswipingthelegsoutfromunderneathher.âBye!â
Thrustingthedaggerdown,Itookoutthefaeandthenpoppedup.SlippingunderRenâsarm, Iwentstraight for theAncientsneakinguponhim.Flippingthestake,IswungmyarmoutjustastheAncientâsbodyjerkedinfrontofme.Hiseyeswidenedandthenflameseruptedfromhissockets.Hismouthdroppedopen and fire crawled out, licking along his cheeks and down his throat. Hetippedforwardâ
Ijumpedoutof thewayashefellandmygazeswungtowhereheâdoncestood.ThePrincestoodthere.
âFire?âIsaidstupidly.IâdseenwhatFabianhadbeencapableof,butthatâthatwassomethingelse.
ThePrinceâsgazeflickeredoverme.âYouhaveblood...everywhere.ââYeah,â I whispered under my breath, stumbling back a step. âThat nifty
trickwouldâvebeenhelpfulaboutaminuteago.ââSorry.Beenbusy.âHespuntowardthedoor.I turned, finding a female fae chargingme, practically impalingherself on
mydagger.Iblinkedassheimploded.âWellthen.âThenIspottedFaye.Shesprangontoachairnimblyandspunlikeadancer.Aimingthecrossbow,
shefiredoffseveralshots,oneafteranother.Eacharrowfoundahome,strikingdownthreefae.Astheyfell,IfinallysawMiles.Hewasbruisedandbloodybutstillstanding.Relieffilledme.
âGetdown!âFabianshouted.IwhippedaroundjustasRenpoppedupbesideme.Circlinganarmaround
mywaist,hedraggedmedown to the floor justas theairaroundusexplodedwithraggedshardsofice.
âWhatthehell?âIgaspedaswhatappearedtobeiciclesshotoverhead.Theyhit thewalls,shatteringwood.Somehit thefleshoffaeandmortal, thosewhohadnâtbeenfastenough.
I criedout asKalenwentdown, a thick icicle embedded inhis thigh.Rencursedashisfingerscurledintothebackofmyshirt.
The soft, almost childish giggle echoed off thewalls as I stared up at theentrance and then therewerewords, ancientwords in a language I had neverheardbefore.Theyflowedoveruslikearushofcoldwater,sendingachilldownmyspine.
Itwisted,pressingintoRenasatall, thinshadowappearedinthedoorway,andthenthereshewas.TheQueen.
Shedriftedintotheroom,hersharpeyesdartingaroundandstoppingonthePrince.ShedidnotholdtheCrystal.TheAncientbehindherdid.
It was about the size of a basketball, white and frosty looking, but as hesteppedintotheroom,itbegantoglowaniridescentblue.
Fabian reached the Queen first, his body starting to glow the color of asummersunrise.TheQueenflickedherwrist,andthenhewasflyingbackward,pinned to the wallâpinnedwith jagged icicles, one in each of his shoulders,snaggedtherelikeapinnedfly.
âGoodGod,âRenmuttered.ThePrincechargedher,butallshedidwasflickherwristoncemoreandhe
wasskiddingbackwardacrossthefloor.âGiveupandlive,âshesaid,hervoicefullofsmokeandshadows.âGetin
mywayanddie.âRenandIpushedtoourfeetasthePrinceshovedoffthewall.Alowrumbleshookthefloor,gainingsoundandspeed.Iglancedbehindme
asRendidthesamething.Afaintbluelightappearedatthebottomofthedoor.âThedoor!âIgasped.âSheâsopeningthegateway.âTheQueenturnedtowherewestoodandliftedherhand,butRenandIhad
already seen what she was capable of. We parted ways, him going in onedirectionandmeinanother.
Jumpingoverfallenbodies,ImadeitaboutfivepacesbeforeIwassweptoffmyfeetandsenttumblingbackward,assoverhead.Islammedintothewall.Theimpactknockedtheairandastakeoutofmyhands.Iwasstunnedforamoment,unabletomove.
TheQueenhadclearedapath.Thateasily.Evenwith two princes, an army of Summer fae, and the remainingOrder
members,shehadclearedapathway.FabianandthePrincehadseriouslyoverestimatedtheirabilities.The Queen strode forward, Crystal in her arms. It was glowing intensely
now,sobrightitwaspainfultolookupon.Ibitbackacurse,pushingtomyfeet.âHelpme.âIturned,seeingFabian.Shootingtowardhim,Ireachedfortheicicles.They
wereindeep.âSorry.âWincing, Ipulled the firstoneout.Hisentirebody joltedas Idropped the
firsticicle,buthedidnâtmakeasounduntilIpulledthesecondoneout.Thenhescreamed, dropping to his knees. Fayewas suddenly at his side, pressing herhandintohiswound,stanchingthebloodflow.
The Prince spun in our direction, and that was when the Ancient whoâdentered with the Queen charged the Prince, thrusting his shoulder into thePrinceâsstomach.Theycollapsedbackward,intothewall.Drywallcrackedandgavewayasdustfilledtheair.Thewallshookandthenhalfofitshatteredapartastheyfellthroughintotheotherroom.
âUse them,â Fabian gasped, letting his head fall back. âUse them againsther.â
Mygazedroppedtothethickicicle.Itwassocoldthatitburnedmyhand.Ilooked up. TheQueenwas almost to the door.Withmy heart inmy throat, Ipivoted,notgivingmyselftimetothinkaboutwhatIwasdoing.
Racing across the room, I reached the Queen just as she turned to me.SurpriseflickeredoverherfaceasIliftedmyarm,swingingtheicicledown.Sheswepttotheside,andImissedherchest.
ButIdidnâtmissher.The icicle cut into her shoulder, sinking deep to the bone. The impact
traveledallthewayupmyarm,jarringmyentirebody.Screaminginpainandfury,theQueenlashedout.Ididnâtevenknowifshe
hitmewithanypartofherorifitwasjustthemightofherfury.Eitherway,Iflew backward, crashing to the floor and rolling several feet. Ears ringing, Icametoastop,slowtorealizeIwasnowweaponless.
Ipushedupontomyelbows,breathingheavyas I lookedacross theroom.The Queen was also down, on her knees, and tearing at the shoulder of hersilverydress.Darkbloodstainedthefrontofit.
The closet door suddenly swung open and intense blue light poured out.Sheâdopenedthegateway.Dammit.
Windpickedup,powerfulandfierce.Atremblerattledthefloorsasmyloosecurlsblewacrossmyface.Ipushedmyselfuptomyknees,ignoringtheacheinmybones.MystaremettheQueenâs,andhergazedriftedawayfrommeandtomyleft.Ilookedover.TheCrystal.
TheQueenhaddroppedit.Rollingover,Iscrambledtomyfeetasmystomachdropped.TheQueenwas
alreadyonher feet andshewascloser.My feet slippedover theblood-soakedfloorboards.
Ren whipped around and started forward, but it was too late. The QueenreachedtheCrystalfirst.Ishoutedasshewrappedherslenderfingersaroundit.Rising, she clutched it to her chest. She didnât look atme. She didnât look atRen.
TheQueenlookedtothePrince,towherehewasstumblingbackthroughthewall.âIâllseeyouagain,mylove.â
His chin jerked up and he roared with fury as he tossed the body of theKnightasideandrushedtowardtheQueen,butshewasasfastasashadow.Shespunonbarefeetandran.Ididnâtevenhaveachancetotakeanotherbreathofair before she went through the doorway, the Crystal in hand. The blue lightstretched, forming thick tendrils of light. They touched the Queen and flaredintensely.
The blue light expanded and whipped out, circling around my leg. Itcontractedhardandfast,rippingmylegoutfromunderneathme.Ihitthefloorandthenwasslippingacrossit,towardthedoor.
Realizationslammedintomeatthespeedofatrain.BloodâIwascoveredinit.Someofithadtobemine,andthatmeant...
MybloodmustâvebeenontheCrystal.IwasabouttobesuckedintotheOtherworld,alongwiththeQueen.âRen!â I screamed, digging into the floor. My nails cracked and broke.
AnotherscreamtorethroughmeasIwaspulledbeyondtheopeningofthedoor.Arms flailing, my hands smacked off the door frame. My wide gaze swungaround,andtherewasnothingbutdarknessbeyondthebluelight.TheforceoftheOtherworldpulled,stretchingmyarmsuntil I feltmymusclesstart to tear.MyfingersslippedandIlostmygrip.
Handsclampeddownonmine,andmygazeflewtoRenâs.OhGod,hewasthere, his feet planted on either side of the door.My body lifted clear off thefloor.
âHoldon!âheshouted,hisfacestrainedashetugged.âRen,ohGod,Ren!âIcriedout,panicandterrordiggingintomybones.Theforcegrew,liftingRenup,andIknewitwastoopowerful.Itwasgoing
tosuckbothofusthrough.Bothofus.No.Icouldnâtletthathappentohim.Icouldnât.MybodytwistedsoIcouldseehisface.Ourgazescollided.âRen.Letgo.
Please!Pleaseletgo.Youâvegottoletgoofme.âHorrorfilledhisexpression.âNeverâGod,never!ââYouneedto.âStretchedtotheirlimits,myarmsandshouldersburnedasif
theywereonfire.âIloveyou,Ren.Iloveyousomuch,butyouneedtoletâââStop!â he shouted, his beautiful face contorting with anguish. âIâm not
lettinggo.âTearscloudedmyeyes.âYouhaveto.YouââArms circledRenâswaist and then Iwas being pulled forward, out of the
lightandbeyondthedoorwayandintoRenâslapaswefellbackward.Ilookedup,overRenâsshouldersashefoldedhisarmstightaroundme.
ThePrince.OhGod.ThePrincehadpulledmeâpulledusâfree.Wind whipped through the room and was ripped out of it, sucking back
throughthedoor.TwistinginRenâsarms,myeyeswerewideasthebrightbluelightpulsedonceandthentwiceandthenpulledintoitselfuntiltherewasjustadotoflightinthenever-endingdarkness,andthentherewasnothingbutbone-chillingblackness.
Thedoor to theOtherworldswungclosed,sealing itselfupwith theQueenandtheCrystalinside.
Chapter35
Slowly, we picked ourselves up, one at a time. The Prince was helping hisbrotherstand,andFayewaswithKalen,onearmaroundhisshoulders,holdinghimup.
MileswasnexttoDylanandJackie.Allofuswerestillalive,butwe...âWefailed,âIwhispered,staringatthesealeddoorway.âWeactuallyfailed.âSilencegreetedmeasRenslippedanarmaroundmywaist,drawingmeto
hisside.Ifelthis lipsbrushmytemple,butbitterdisappointmentwashedoverme,nearlystrippingmeofwhateverstrengthwasleft.
Wefailed.The Queen was gone, but she was going to come back with a vicious,
monstrousarmy.Probablyindays.Hoursifwewerenâtlucky.Istumbledback.âButdidwe really fail?âDylan asked. âTheQueen is gone.So are all the
AncientsâââWehavenoideaifalltheAncientsaregone,butwehadtohavetakenout
nearly all of them.âMiles limped forward, pickingup a fallen stake. âBut theQueenhastheCrystalintheOtherworld.Shecancomebackatanytimeââ
âItwonâtbefora longtime.âFabianâsvoicewashoarse.âYoustabbedherwithoneoftheicicles,right?â
Turning,welookedathimandmymouthdroppedopen.Hewasaghostlycolor.MygazeshottoKalen.Sowashe.Bothwerebarelystanding,alloftheirlimbstrembling.âIdid.Igotherintheshoulder.Prettydeep,too.â
ThePrincelookedatmesharply.âYoudid?Youâresure?ââYes.Hitthebone.What?âIpulledawayfromRen.âWhatâsgoingon?ââIfshewaswoundedwithherownmagic,herownweapons,shewill . . .â
ThePrincetrailedoff,andthenhedidsomethingIhadnâtheardfromhimsincetheenchantmentwasbroken.
ThePrincelaughedâadeep,loudlaugh.Ren walked forward, his movements stiff. âCan you fill us in on whatâs
goingon?BecauseIâmnotsurewhatisfunnyrightnow.ââMeeither,âMilesmuttered,sheathingthestakeathiship.âBeingwoundedbyoneofthoseicicleswouldtakeanyfaetimetorecover
from. It wouldâve killed a mortal.â The Prince turned back to his brother,wrappinganarmaroundhiswaist.âButfortheQueentobewoundedwithher
ownmagiciscatastrophic.Thesameforanyofus.ââSowhatdoesthatmean?âJackiedemanded,wipingatthebloodalongher
cheek.âWillitkillher?ââNo.âThePrinceledFabiantothedoor.âButitwillgreatlyweakenherfora
verylongtime.âI didnât dare let any hope grow in me as I limped after them, but I
rememberedhimmentioningthiswhenheâd tolduswhatwouldweakenthem.âHowlongisaverylongtime?â
âMonths,âheanswered.âMonths?Areyoukiddingme?Thatâsnota long time.â Itwasbetter than
weeksorhours,butstillnotlongenough.He stopped and looked over his shoulder. âMonths in the Otherworld are
yearsinthemortalworld.ââYears?âRenrepeated.âLikeinplural?ââInplural,âthePrinceresponded.âAndwhilesheâsweak,sheâsnotgoingto
beabletogatheranarmy.Withherpowersdownandwounded,shewonâtgainmany supporters. Not in the Otherworld, where only the strong and fullypoweredgainsupport.â
Myheartwasthunderinginmychest.âSo,whatdoesthismeanexactly?ââItmeanswedidnâtfail,âhereplied,smilingslightly.Itwaswarm,butdidnât
reach his eyes. I didnât think any of his smiles did. âWe will have years toprepareforherreturn.â
I limpeddownthesteps,myheadamixofconflicting thoughtsandemotions.Hadwefailed?Yes?No?Iwasnâtsure,andIwastoodamntiredtoreallythinkaboutitandtoofreakingecstaticthatwewereallalivetobeatmyselfupaboutnotgettingtheCrystalorkillingher.
Iâdleavethatfortomorrow.Becauseweweregoingtohaveatomorrow.âIvy!âTinkscreechedthemomentIreachedthebottomofthestairs.I drew up short as he raced away from Fabian and all but tackled me,
wrappinghislongarmsaroundme.âYouârealive!ââYes,âIsqueaked.âAndIthoughtyouweresupposedtostayatthehotel.ââI did, but I couldnât wait any longer. I showed up just as everyone was
comingdownthestairs.âHerockedmebackandforth.âIwentoutallbymyselfandfoundtheplace!â
âHewasnât byhimself,â I heardTanner say. âHewasgettingworried, and
well,wecouldnâtstophim.âSqueezingmyeyesshut, Ihuggedhimback, toohappy tobehugginghim
againtobemadabouthimnotlisteningtous.âWhathappened?âTinkasked,andIpulledawayasFayebegantoexplain
everything.RenmovedovertothePrinceswhileTinkwasgiventhebreakdown,andI
saw that Tanner hadnât come alone. Brighton was with him, lingering in theback.ShewasstaringatthetwoPrinces,herprettyfacepale.
âWeneedtogetmybrotherbacktothehotel,âThePrincesaid.âHeneedstorest,asdoesKalen.â
Tinkmoved away fromme, hurrying to Fabianâs side. âIs he going to beokay?â
âHewillbe.ââWhatcanwedotohelpthem?âIasked.âNothing,âheanswered.âAllwecoulddoiswaitfortheaffectstowearoff.âLookingatthepaleanddrawnfacesofFabianandKalen,Ifeltreallybadfor
them.âHowlong?ââToolong,âgruntedFabian.âWeshouldbefine...inafewweeks.âWeeks?Myeyeswidened.âI...IbroughtanSUV.âBrightonclearedherthroatandthenspokeup.âI
cantakethemback.âIdrew inashudderingbreathandwalkedover towhere thePrincesstood.
Renwasalreadythere.âHey,âIsaid,glancingbetweenthetwoofthem.âIjustwanttothankyoufor,um,savingusâsavingmebackthere.Ifyouhadnât...â
Hestaredatme.âYoudonotneedtothankme.Ever.âIshifted,uneasy.âButIdo.Wedo.ââSheâs right.âRenâs shoulders tensed as he extended a hand to thePrince.
âThankyou,Prince.âThePrinceâsgazeflickeredfromRenâshandtohisface,andthenafteralong
moment,hetookRenâshandandshookit.âYouârewelcome.âReleasingRenâshand,heglancedoveratme.AndmynameisnotPrince.ItisCaden.â
Faint sunlight seeped under the heavy curtains, slipping its way across thebedroom floor, toward the bed. I had no idea what time it was since Renapparentlydidnâtbelieveinbedroomclocks,butIknewithadtobelateintheafternoon.
Justlikewetalkedaboutthedaybefore,wehadnâtgonebacktoHotelGood
FaelastnightwheneveryoneleftthehouseonRoyalStreet.WeâdgonebacktoRenâs,becausewe. . .becausewecould,andnowitfelt likeIâdsleptforever,butasIstaredatthetinyparticlesofdustdancinginthestreamoflight,IwasnâtsureIwasreadytobeawake.
Squeezingmyeyes shut, I shiftedmyhipsasawaveofunrest sweptoverme.Thearmaroundmywaisttightened,drawingmebackagainstahard,warmchest.âYoushouldstillbeasleep,âRenâsdeepvoicerumbledagainsttheskinofmyneck.
Reaching down to where his hand rested on my stomach, I threaded myfingersthroughhis.âShouldnâtyoubeasleep,too?â
âYouâreawake.âHekissedthesideofmyneck.âSo,Iâmawake.âSometimes I wondered if he had an internal Ivy alarm system and if he
chargedhimselfamonthlyfeeforit.Isqueezedhishandinreturn.Therewasabeatofsilenceandthenhetuggedmeontomyback,andIfoundmyselfstaringintosleepy,beautifulgreeneyes.
Curlybrownhairfellforward,brushingagainsthiseyebrowsasheroseontohis elbow aboveme. âIâm not going to ask if youâre okay.âHe swept back astrandofmyhairashisgazesearchedmine.âJustdonâtbottleallofthisup.Alothashappened,andeventhoughwemayhaveyearsbeforewefacetheQueenagain,alotisstillgoingtohappen.â
I swallowed razor blades of emotions and whispered, âI promised Iwouldnât.â
Renwaitedashestareddownatme.Drawinginashakybreath,Iexhaledslowly.âDoyouthinkwereallyhave
yearsbeforetheQueencomesback?âThetipsofRenâsfingerstrailedacrossmycheek,avoidingthedeep,purplish
bruisesandrawcutsthathadappearedovernight.âBasedonwhattheysaid,wehavenoreasontobelievethatisnâtthecase.â
âTrue,âImurmured.âButwhatiftheyârewrong?ââWhatiftheyârenot?âHedraggedhisthumbundermylip.âWhatifwehave
years to live and to make sure weâre ready when she comes back? Years,Sweetness.Thatâsalongtime.Thatâsalotofliving.â
Abitoftheknotrestinginthepitofmystomachloosened.Itdidnâtgoawaycompletely,butitmadeiteasiertobreathe.Renwasright.Therewasnoreasonthatthebrotherswerewrong.Wecouldhaveyears.âItâsover,âIsaid,becauseIfeltlikeIneededtosayit.âItâsoverfornow.â
Rendroppedaquickkissonthetipofmynose.âYes,itâsoverfornow.âIclosedmyeyes,lettingthatreallysinkin.Itstilldidnâtseemreal.Thatwe
werenâtlivingsecondtosecond,daytoday.
He kissed my forehead. âYouâre going to worry about this, but itâll geteasier.âThistimehekissedthecornerofmylipsandthensighedheavily.âButyoualreadyknowthat.â
Idid.Movingonpast the fact that theQueencouldandmost likelywouldcome
backwasnâtgoing tobeeasy.But I couldnât live in fear.Ahealthyamountofdreadwasonething,butwe...
Wereallydidnâtfaillastnight.Iopenedmyeyes.âWhenshedoescomeback,weâregoing tobeready to
killthatbitch.âRengrinned.âItâssohotwhenyoutalkaboutkillingevilfae.âAlaughescapedme,andforthefirsttimeinalongtime,Iletmyselfreally
lookahead.IpracticallyhadanentirelifeaheadofmeâanentirelifewithRen.Ofcourse,westillhadourduty.Eitherofuscoulddieonournextpatrol,butwiththehelpoftheSummerCourt,itwasnâtjusttheOrderanymore.
Wecouldhaveafuture.Itmayberoughfromtimetotime.EventhoughIhadnâthadacravingsince
weleftCalifornia,Iknewthatitcouldcomeback,butifitdid,Iwoulddealwithit.WehadafutureâoneIwantedtostartrightnowâahopeful,brightfuture.
Iliftedmychin,andwithoutwords,RenobligedwhatIwassilentlyseeking.Renkissedme,anditwasdeepandconsumingandbeautifulinallthewaysthatbroughttearstomyeyes.EverythingRenfeltformewasinthatkiss, ineverykiss,andwhenhepulled theblanketout frombetweenus,heslippedovermeandslidinsideme.
The way our bodies joined was nothing like the night before when wereturnedtoRenâsplaceandimmediatelyracedtotheshower,washingoffalloftheblood.Thathadbeenfastandhard,asifithadbeentheonlywaytoprovethatwewerestillaliveâthatattheendofitall,westillhadeachother.Thiswasdifferent.Renmovedpainstakinglyslow,likeithadbeenthefirsttimeforus.
Renâsmouthnever leftmine.Not aswemoved together, ourhipspushingandpullingapart.Notonceashishandsstayedwrappedaroundmine,holdingthemdownoneithersideofmyhead.NotevenasIcurledmylegsaroundhiswaist,takinghimasfaraswecouldgo.Wekissedasifweweredrinkingfromoneanother,takingsipsandthengulping.
Therewasnoroomforwords.Nospaceleftforthemasthepaceofourhipspickedup.Therewereonlysoftmoansanddeepergroans in thebriefsecondsour mouths were parted. Sweat dampened our bodies, glistened on our skin.Every muscle in my body seemed to tighten and unclench in never-endingwaves.
Thiswas . . . thiswasmaking loveâsweetandsteadyandsoul-scorching.Thewayhedraggedouteverykiss,everythrust,absolutelydestroyedmeinthebestpossibleways.IneverfeltclosertoRen,moreinlovethanIdidrightthen.
Renbrokethekisswhenhecame,speakingmynameagainstmylipsinthisdeep,gutturalwaythatcurledmytoesandsentmetumblingovertheedgeintobliss.Tight shiverswashedoverme.The release flowing throughoutmybodyblew nearly every thought out ofmymind, leaving room only for the rollingpleasure.
Whenitwasallover,onlywhenourheartsbegantofinallyslowandI laycurledinhisarms,mycheekrestingonhischest,dideitherofusspeak.
âWhatdowedonow?âRenaskedashishandtrailedlazilyupanddownmyspine.
ThatwasaloadedquestionbecauseIknewhewasnâtaskingaboutwhatweweregoingtodoafterhavingmind-blowingsex.Hewasthinkingbigger,long-term.âIdonâtknow,âIsaidafteramoment.âIthink...IthinkIwouldwanttogobacktoschool.â
âYeah?âHisfingerstangledinmyhairbeforeslippingfree.Itookashallowbreath.âIâvemissedspringregistration,butIcouldstartin
thesummerorthefall.ââIthinkthatâsagoodidea.âExcitement blossomed in the center of my chest, unfurling like a rose
blooming for the first time. I lookeddifferent,butnotenough that themortalswouldreallynoticeanything.Icouldeasilybeinthepublic.Nobiggie.âIreallywouldlikethat.â
âI can come visit you on campus,â he suggested. âYou know, just to bedistracting.â
âThatâsreallyhelpful.ââItrytobe.âGrinning, I trailedmy fingers over the taut planes of his stomach. âWhat
aboutyou?âHedidnâteven takeasecond toanswer.âWhateveryouwant todo,where
youwanttobe,thatâswhatIâlldoâthatâswhereIâllbe.ââReally?âIliftedmychinsoIcouldseehisface.âReally,âherepeated.âIthoughtmaybewecouldtakeavacation,though.I
thinkweearnedit.âTherewasnostoppingthesmileracingacrossmyface.âAvacationwould
beawesome.âThosebeautifulgreeneyeswerebright.âWheredoyouwanttogo?ââSomewhere cold,â I answered immediately. âSomewherewhere therewill
besnowandwecanmakesnowmenanddrinkhotchocolateand...havesexinfrontofacracklingfireplace.â
âI think I know of a few good places back home,â he replied. âAnd I amreallylovingyourideaofavacation.â
âItwasthesexpart,wasnâtit?ââPossibly.âI laughedasIsettledbackdownagainsthim.AsI laythere,surprisefilled
me as the realization hit me that there was going to be tomorrow, a week, amonth, years to fill up. For some reason, it hadnât struck me until this verymoment that wewere going to have a real future, barringwe didnât get, youknow,killedonthejoborrunoverbyaspeedingtrolley.âIguesswereallycandothatnow?â
âDowhat?ââPlan.Wecanreallyplan.âIbitdownonmylip.âForawhilethere,Ireally
didnât think therewas going to be a future.Youknow? I just kindof stoppedthinkingabout...tomorrow.â
Renâshandstilledforabeatandthenstartedmovingagain.Hefellquiet.âWhat?âIliftedmyhead,meetinghisgaze.âYouwantedmetoletgo.ââRenâââYouwantedmetoletgoandifIhadyouwouldâvebeengone.ââIdidnâtwantyoutobedraggedintotheOtherworldwithme,Ren.Youâre
angryaboutthat?âAnincredulouslookfilledhisgreeneyes.âThereâsapartofmethatâspissed
aboutthat.Probablygoingtobeapartofmepissedoffthatyouwerewillingtothrowyourlifeawayââ
âIwasnâtwillingtothrowmylifeaway.âIsatup.âIthappenedsofast,andIrealizedthatyouweregoingtogetsuckedin,andIââ
âTosaveme.Iknow.Iunderstandthat.âHishandfelltomybarehip.âThatdoesnâtmeanIhavetolikeit.âHisgazedropped.âButIlikethisrightnow.â
Irolledmyeyes.âStopcheckingoutmybreasts.âHearchedabrowasheslowlymovedhisgazetomine.âAreyouseriously
tellingmenottodothat?Doyouevenknowme?âAreluctantlaughescapedme.âTheyâre too distracting, Ivy.â He brushed his fingers over one breast,
causingmetosuckinasharpbreath.âTheyârebeautifulandtheylooksolonelyrightnow.Beautifulbreastsshouldneverbelonely.â
Ismackedhishandaway.A playful grin filled out his lushmouth and then faded away as if it had
neverbeenthere.Hishandfelltohischest,torestabovehisheart.âTheideaoflosingyouscarestheshitoutofme,Ivy.ThatshockandangerIfeltâtheshockandangerIstillfeelandprobablyalwayswilltosomeextentwasfueledbytheterrorofknowingyoucouldâvebeentrappedoverthere,withtheQueenandGodknowswhat.â
Ashudderworkeditswaythroughme.ThemerethoughtofbeingtrappedintheOtherworldwiththeQueen,evenaseverelywoundedQueen,washorrifyingbecauseIknewfromexperiencewhatthatwouldâveentailed.
Itwouldnâthavebeenpretty.âWeâvebeenthroughalot,âIwhispered.âWebothhavealottodealwith.ââYeah.Wedo.âAndIknewthatforyearstocomeIâdstillhavenightmares.MaybeIwould
untilthedayIdied.Iâdstillwakefromsleep,fullofpanicthatIwasbackthere,withachainaroundmyneck,orthatIwassecondsawayfrombeingtrappedintheOtherworld.Likegrief,thatkindofterrorwasnâtgoingtogoawayeasily.
I swallowed against the sudden knot inmy throat, and he folded one armbehindhisheadashestaredupatme.âIwantyoutoknowIâmnotholdingthatagainstyou.Itâsnotlikethat.Forreal.â
Iknewhewasnât.Thatwasnâthisstyle.âIdonâtwantyoutofeel thatwayanymore.â
âAndIdonât.Ireallydonât.âHebrieflyclosedhiseyes.âItâsjust...whenIthinkaboutwhatcouldâvehappenedâwhatalmostdidâitâsajolttothesystem.Ittakesmebacktothatverysecond,butitdoesnâtholdmetherelong.â
Tuckingmyhairoveroneshoulder,Iplacedmyhandonhishardstomach.âIgetit.Ido.LikeIsaidbefore,ifithadbeenyouaskingmetoletgo,Iwouldâvebeenpissed.â
âYouwouldhavestraight-uppunchedmeinmynuts.âAgrin tugged atmy lips. Iwouldâve. Iwouldâvedone it until he couldnât
walkhisfineassintotheOtherworld.The hand on my hip moved to my back. With the slightest pressure, he
broughtmebacktohischest,towhereIwaslyingbefore.Hekissedthetopofmyhead.âAndlikeIsaidbefore,Igetwhyyouthoughtthatwaswhatneededtohappen.Ihatesayingthat,butIgetit.â
I pressed my lips to his chest and then threw my arm over his waist,squeezinghimsotightlythathelaughed.
âGod,âhegrunted.âYouâreunnecessarilystrong.âGiggling,Isqueezedhimagain,butthistimenotashard.AfewmomentspassedandthenRensaid,âIknowIâvetoldyouthisbefore,
butIneedtosayitagain.Especiallynow.â
âYouthinkmybreastsstilllooklonely?âRenlaughed.âBelieveitornot,thatwasnâtthedirectionIwasgoingin.ââWell,thatâsashocker.ââIknow.âHesatupthen,bringingmewithhim,myhairtumblingovermy
shoulders, and then wewere face to face. For amoment, like I did every sooften,Igotalittleloststaringintothosebeautifuleyes.âIwasscaredoutofmymindwhenIthoughtIwasgoingtoloseyou,butIwasalsosofuckingblownawaybyyou.â
Iblinked.âWhat?âHiseyessearchedmineashereachedbetweenus,catchingthestrandsofmy
hairandtuckingthemback.âYouwentafterherwiththaticicle,knowinghowdangerousthatwas.Yetyoudiditanyway.â
âYouwouldâvedonethesamething,âIreasoned.âThatâs not the point.â Ren cuppedmy cheek. âYoumade such a selfless
choice.Partofmewants tokeepyoulockedawayandpreferablychainedtoabedbecauseof it,but Idonât thinkIâveeverbeenmoreawedor impressedbyanyoneinmylife.â
Warmthstartedtoinvademycheeksandspreaddownmythroat.Renâshandslippedandcurledaroundthenapeofmyneck.âIloveyou,Ivy.
I thinkyouârebeautifulandsexyashell.YouârefunnyandsodamnintelligentthatsometimesIdonâtfeelworthy.â
âRen,â Iwhispered,myeyes fillingwith tears as I placedmyhandonhischest.
âAnd I admire the fuck out of you,â Ren continued, his voice thickening.âYouaresomanyamazingthings,Ivy,butmostofall,youaresodamnbrave.â
Brave.Thatwordagain.Awordthatmeantsomuchtome,andIknewRenwasright.Hewasproud
ofme,butbetteryet,IwasproudofmyselfâofwhatIwouldâvebeenwillingtodoandwhatIhaddone.
IsmiledasIleanedin,pressingmyforeheadagainsthis.Iwasbrave,andIhadmyentirelifetobebrave.âIloveyou,âIwhispered.
Renâslipscurvedintoagrinagainstmine.âProveit.â
The wicked and dangerously seductive world of the fae and the Ordercontinues withThe Prince, a 1001 Dark Nights novella, coming August 14,2018.
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AboutJenniferL.Armentrout
#1NewYorkTimesand#1 InternationalBestsellingauthor Jennifer lives inMartinsburg,WestVirginia.All therumorsyouâveheardaboutherstatearenâttrue.Whensheâsnothardatworkwriting.shespendshertimereading,watchingreally bad zombiemovies, pretending towrite, hanging outwith her husband,herJackRussellLokiandtheirretiredpolicedog,Diesel.Inearly2015,Jenniferwasdiagnosedwith retinitispigmentosa,agroupof raregeneticdisorders thatinvolveabreakdownanddeathofcellsintheretina,eventuallyresultinginlossofvision,amongothercomplications.Duetothisdiagnosis,educatingpeopleonthevaryingdegreesofblindnesshasbecomeofpassionofhers,rightalongsidewriting,whichsheplanstodoaslongasshecan.
Herdreamsofbecominganauthorstartedinalgebraclass,whereshespent
most of her time writing short storiesâŠ.which explains her dismal grades inmath. Jennifer writes young adult paranormal, science fiction, fantasy, andcontemporary romance. She is published with Tor Teen, Entangled Teen,Disney/HyperionandHarlequinTeen.HerWickedSerieshasbeenoptionedbyPassionFlix.Jenniferhaswonnumerousawards, includingthe2013ReviewersChoiceAwardforWaitforYou,the2015EditorâsPickforFallWithMe,andthe2014/2015 Moerser-Jugendbuch- Jury award for Obsidian. Her young adultromanticsuspensenovelDONâTLOOKBACKwasa2014nominatedBest inYoung Adult Fiction by YALSA. Her adult romantic suspense novel TILLDEATHwasanAmazonEditorâsPickandiBookBookoftheMonth.HeryoungadultcontemporaryTHEPROBLEMWITHFOREVERisa2017RITAAwardWinner in Young Adult Fiction. She also writes Adult and New AdultcontemporaryandparanormalromanceunderthenameJ.Lynn.SheispublishedbyEntangledBrazenandHarperCollins.