Download ppt - Bergen Community College © 2005 1 VIII. Revising the Research Paper More than proofreading More than correcting grammar

Bergen Community College © 2005 1

VIII. Revising the Research Paper

More than proofreading More than correcting

grammar


Table of ContentsSteps of Revision 3Revision and Procrastination 4-6 Multi-Level Focus & 7-10

After-writing OutlineOrganization and Thesis 11-13 Support Material 14Introduction, Conclusion and Title 15-19 Language Usage 20-21Proofing, Spelling, Grammar, Mechanics 22-23MLA Review; Revision Overview 24Jamie’s Revised Paper and Grade 25-26


Steps of the Revision Process

1. Look at the whole paper. 2. Revise in parts.3. Consider structure, coherence,

title, introduction, conclusion.4. Go over the paper in detail.

5. Review current MLA format.


Click for short video on revision from

English Composition.

See Jamie’s first draft.

The paper is done! But wait,

didn’t the teacher talk

about revision?

rtsp://video1.bergen.edu/AH/Literature/Writing/cdivakaruni.rm




Put the paper away for a day.

ZZZZ. ZZZZ.ZZZ

Z.I’m tired. I

can’t look at this paper any more.


Jamie really liked putting the paper away— too much!!

But

He can’t procrastinate. Revision won’t happen without him. He has to be task oriented.

Click for brief video on ideas for revision from English Composition.

rtsp://video1.bergen.edu/AH/Literature/Writing/jlovas.rm





Jamie comes back to the paper ready to actively revise.

Does the paper make sense?

How will another reader respond? What

doesn’t sound “quite right” ?


Revision takes multi-level focus.

Look at the whole paper.

Look at language usage and style. Look at grammar, mechanics, and

spelling.

For information on how to prioritize revision:http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_hocloc.html

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_hocloc.html


An after-writing outline helps define goals for revision.

Jamie writes the thesis at the top of the page.

Then he writes down the sub-thesis of each major section of the paper.

Under each sub-thesis, he jots down supporting details/ evidence.

Click for brief video on the after-writing outline from

English Composition.

rtsp://video1.bergen.edu/AH/Literature/Writing/pkilbane1.rm




The After-writing Outline

The After-writing Outline checks to see if the paper’s organization is logical.

It validates the thesis. It checks to determine sections of

paper that need more support.


Reconsider the paper’s organization.

Click here to see Jamie’s changes.

The ideas don’t flow smoothly. I need to move this paragraph.

This information is not relevant to my thesis. It

should be deleted.


Reread the essay for coherence.

There should be a logical flow of ideas within the paragraphs and from one paragraph to the next.

There should be clear transitions between paragraphs.

For more information on coherence, check this site: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/general/gl_cohere.html

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/general/gl_cohere.html


The thesis statement answers the research question.

It is concise and

It is specific.

It CONTROLS the evidence/support used in the paper.

It can change as the paper changes.

Click for a brief video giving advice on the thesis statement from English Composition.

Click here to see Jamie’s draft and revised thesis statements.

Focus on the thesis statement.

rtsp://video1.bergen.edu/AH/Literature/Writing/drichmond.rm

rtsp://video1.bergen.edu/AH/Literature/Writing/drichmond.rm


Review support material.

Click for video clip on reviewing source material from English Composition.

Yes, my support is effective. I back up every

point I make with relevant

material.


Sharpen the introduction.

Click for video clip from English Composition.

My introduction is one very long paragraph. I have to change it.


Finally, I’m

finished.

But…


What About the Conclusion?

An effective conclusion gives the reader a sense of closure. It leaves the reader feeling the paper has come to a logical end. There are a number of methods for writing closing paragraphs.

For more information, visit Writing Effective Conclusions: http://www.kcmetro.cc.mo.us/ maplewoods/ writeplace/ conclusions.html


Oh no! I almost

forgot to revise the

title.


The title should be specific and accurate. It should capture the reader’s attention.

Jamie changes the title from:

Countering the Negative Influence of Violent Television

to

The Connection Between Violent Television and Violent Teens

He feels this provides a more specific description of his paper and the repetition of “violent” attracts

reader attention.


Edit for language.

Look at word choice tone style vocabulary clarity conciseness


Revise to eliminate awkward phrasing.

Draft

Despite the fact effects of television violence cannot be absolutely established, most experts feel there is some connection between youth violence and viewing violence on television.

Revision

Although the effects of television violence cannot be absolutely established, most experts feel there is some connection between youth violence and viewing violence on television.


Finally, the revision process is almost complete.

Proofread for the types of errors frequently made such as run-on sentences, fragments, and subject-verb agreement.

Remember spell-check checks only the correct spelling. It does not check to see that the correct word is being used.

Check for careless mistakes and typographical errors.

Pay attention to MLA format and the Works Cited page.


Inspect the grammar, mechanics, and spelling.

Draft Although an exact causal

relationship between televison and real violence among teens has not been proven.

Research show that repeated exposure to television violence can cause both an “emotional desensitization toward real-world violence and the victims of violence. . .”

Revision Although the effects of

television violence cannot be absolutely established, most experts feel there is some connection between youth violence and viewing violence on television.

Research shows that repeated exposure to television violence can cause both an “emotional desensitization toward real-world violence and the victims of violence. . . “


Review the MLA format.

Check the rules for documentation and for the Works Cited page.

Here are some of the changes Jamie must make.

For more information on MLA guidelines, visit this site: http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/

writing/mlaguide.html


Click to see Jamie's revised paper.

Click for video to review ideas for revision from English Composition.

I definitely gave this

paper my best shot!


Jamie’s GradeIn conclusion, the relationship between television violence and real-

life adolescent violence is complex: “Research strongly suggests that violent behavior grows out of interactions among an individual’s psychosocial development, neurological and hormonal characteristics, and social influences such as media” (Stop 299). The normal adolescent, who grows up in a nurturing family and has healthy peer relationships, will be minimally impacted by violent television programs; however, the angry, depressed teen who grows up in an environment of neglect or trauma, who lacks positive adult models, fails to form friendship bonds and partake in meaningful activities is definitely more likely to find a “script” in violent television programming. While it seems unlikely that there will be less violence shown on television, limitation of viewing time and parental supervision of content, especially of children through middle school, as well as media education programs for all would play a significant role in helping to control teen violence.

Well done, Jamie! A thoroughly researched, well organized and well-written paper!

A