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Chapter4Thereareexperiencesnohumanlanguagecaninterpret.Everyattempttoexpresstheiridealisticformincommonspeechfails.Andtherearefeelingsofthespiritwhichnohieroglyphicofsoundorsymbolcanutter.Howsluggishlytheinkflowswhenthepatriot’sbloodishot.Andhowinsignificantaninstrumentisthepointofapenfromwhichtodistilthedreamofaprophet.Prosaicsoulswhosespiritualvisionismeasuredbyanine-inchspan,smilewhenmindsofahigherordertakewingtocontinentsoflifeandpleasurewherethesoul’sareaisonlyboundedbytheinfinite.TheCatholicCardinalwhospeaksofonlyneedingclearervisiontoseebehindeachwaysideflowertheangeloftheLord,isdismissedasamystic.Butthisthingwecallmysticism,theclearperceptionofsomethingaboveandbeyondus,therecognitionofspiritualphenomenabeneathandbehindthematerialfact,is“theoneundyingelementinhumanthought,”sowritesMr.Balfour.WhenGoroisspeakingin“Romola”tothebarberofFlorence,GeorgeEliotmakeshimsay,“WhenGodgivesasignitisnottobesupposedHewouldhavebutonemeaning.”True,andthemeaningsbehindthevisible“sign”areofttoobigandbeautifulforexpression.Truthiswiderthanlogic.Theeternalislargerthananyproposition.Infinityismorethanfact.Themanwhofeelsisneedfultothemanwhothinks.Thepoetredeemsthepracticalfromdrudgery.Prophetandmanofreason,wingandfoot,arebuttwoessentialpartsofthesameDivinely-createdandDivinely-inspiredorganismwhichwecallHumanity.Thegreatneedofthetimeistheredemptionandglorificationofthecommonplace.HeisatrueapostlewhocanseetheDivineprocedurebehindthebarefact.PaullinkstheeternalGodtoafragmentofspeech.Itwasthisthoughtnodoubt,whichledShakespearetoputintothemouthofKingLearthewords;

“YenandNay,Isnotgooddivinity.”

Fairbairn,contrastingPlatowithJesus,speaksofthecultureoftheoneandsthelackofliteraryformofthe:other.Theninwordsofdeepestimportadds:“Noapostleofculturecanjudgeforman;hissoulknowsthetruthsitneeds,knowswhenthesesatisfyhim,proveshissatisfactionbytheprogresstheyenablehimtomake,theordertheycausehimtoachieve.”True,andFairbairnmighthaveaddedthat,“ManfindsthosetruthsasJacobfoundhisGod,inunsuspectedplaces.”AllIhavewrittenappliestothesubjectofthischapter-asubjectalmosttoosacredformetotouch,andwhichwouldbepassedoverbymeinsilencedidInotfeeltherecordmay,undertheblessingofGod,dogoodtosomewhoread.

MYMOTHER.Yes,“mymother”still,thoughshehasformanyyearsbeenliving“withintheveil.”Though“there”sheseemstobe“here”Thoughunseen,Ihaveafeelingthatsheisactuallypresent.IfIdevotethischaptertoherletnomanchargemewithdesecration.Ifanymandidsohewouldbeignorant,bothofthewriter’spurposeandspirit.Igivemyreadercreditforafinerjudgmentthanhis,whocommentingonthatbeautifulbookcalled“MargaretOgilvy,”saidthat,“Barriewouldsellhismother’sbonesifhecouldonlymakemoneyoutofthem.”Theutteranceofsuchasentimentisproofthatsomeoftheoriginalmudstillexistsinthemake-upofhumannature.

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ThefadedportraitwhichisbeforemewhileIwriteofherIloveisprecioustome.Herbeautywasnotoftheface,butofthemindandheart.Yetthosewhorememberedherinthedaysofhermaidenhoodtellmeshewashandsome.Buttheface,asIseeitnow,tellsitsowntaleofsorrowandstruggle,andpain,endured,notforherself,butwithalovethatneverweariedevenwhentestedtotheutmostforthoseaboutherfeet.Thisisheroism,topassthroughthesolitudesofutterorphanhood,intothetear-besprinkledwayofacrushedandblightedwomanhood,andyetretainthevirginmodesty,sweetness.fidelity,andlove,totheend—thisisheroism.Dearladyreaderofthehandsomecheek,courtedandflatteredbecauseofyourphysicalcharms,donotdespisethispictureofmymotherbecauseitdoesnotconformtoyourdefinitionofbeauty.Shewasbeautifultome,letthatsuffice.Andperhapsthecharmofyourownpersonmightnotbesogreatiftheimpressoffiftyyearsofsorrowwereputuponyourform.Isaidjustnowthatmymotherwas“here.”Andsoitseems.“Thethoughtwhichofteludesmymindseems,whenreached,tobegivenbyaninvisiblehand.”Sowroteoneoftheclearestandsweetestofourexpositors.Therewas,forhim,asubtle,butnonethelessreal,relationshipbetweentheministryoftheunseenandtheserviceofthepresent.Andinmywakingdreamstheformandspiritofmymotherseemconsciouslynear.Iknowthatcertainwritersoftherealisticclasshavebutlittlesympathywiththosewhobytheaidofaconsecratedimaginationinvestthepersonalitiestheylovewithanidealsupremacyandglory.ButthevisionoftheChristwhichfillsthelifeoftheChurchto-dayistheidealisationofOnewhotoHisactualcontemporarieswasbutanordinaryman.Thatwhichinsomepersonalitiesisthoughttobeafictionofthemindmaybetotheonewholoves,thesimplediscoveryoftheactualself.Loveisthetransfiguringpoweroflife.ItistheelementbywhichGodre-discoversHisowncreativeidealinman,andthespiritbywhichmaninterpretsthewholeredeemingpurposeofGod.Hewhowouldjudgeeitherapictureorasoul,throughtheclearbuticyfacultyofreasonalone,willfailtoenter“withintheveil"ofmeaningandpurposethatboththeartistandtheCreatorhaveintendedbytheirwork.Onlife’shighwayreasonmayholdthereins,butthemysteriouscurrentwhichsweepsthechariotalongisbeyondherpower.WecallJohn’sGospelidealisticbecauseofitsmysticalatmosphere.Cold,prosaicsoulscannotseethatitisthepassionoflovecoronating,itsKing.WhowillsaythattheApostlewhowrotedidnotdiscoverforhisownsoulinJesusChristallwhichhismindandpendictated?So,hadyou,dearreader,seenherwhomIcallmother,onthecrowdedstreet,notknowingallthewealthoftenderaffectionbeneathherfadeddress,youmighthavepassedherbyunconsciousthatshereignedsupremeinanysingleheart.Queenlyshewasatleasttome.Ifnotinthesphereofintellect,wheresolitaryminds,likelonelyplanetsshineinloftyspace,orinthetrumperysplendoursofafictitioussocialcircle,yetinspirit,gentlenessandlove,andintherevelationoftheunseenGodtomysoulshewasenthroned.

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MymotherwasborninthetownshipofEdwinstowe,inthecountyofNottingham.EdwinstoweissituateaboutsevenmilesfromMansfield,myownbirthplace,andisplantedintheheartofmagnificent“MerrieSherwood”Forest,whereRobinHoodandhisboldoutlawshuntedtheearl’sdeerandbrokeeachothers’headsatquarterstaff.SometwoorthreemilesfromEdwinstoweisthefineoldresidencecalledThosebyHall,theseatoftheEarlsManvers.Thefamous“Dukeries”areincloseproximity.Thecountryformilesaroundisfinelywooded.Theparksaboundindeer.Theoakswhichstudtheforestareafinesight.AmileortwofromThosebyHall,inasecludedpartofthewoodisthemajestic“majoroak,”withitsenormousgirthandwide-spreadingbranches,underwhichthousandsofvisitorshavelunchedandsung.Itwasinthisprettytownship,sobeautifullysurrounded,thatmymotherwasborn.Herparentsweresimple,honest,piousfolk.Theymadenostirintheworld,thoughsomeoftheirchildrenandtheirchildren’schildrenhavetakenrankamongthebestandtruestsonsofthegreatRepublic.Ifthesesimplepeasantheartsdidnot“shineaslightsintheworld,”theydidwhatsomewhoboastofnoblenamedidnot—kepttheirbloodpure,honouredthecommandments,anddiedleavingtheheritageofagoodnametothosewhofollowed.Forfortyyearstheytoiledonthe“Manvers”Estate,attendedtheparishchurch,saidtheirprayers,paidtheirway,andthenenteredintopeace.Mymotherneverforgotthetendermemoriesofherchildhood.Itwastheonedreamofheryouthwhichcastitscomfortingradianceovermanyanhourofgrief.Oftontheroadside,orinthedarkenedhomeshewouldallowhermemorytowanderbacktothevillagestreetandthecottagehome.Shewouldresurrectthehappycirclesofullofquiet,simplejoy.Themarchtochurch;thestolensalutationsamongthechildrenandtheyoungfolkonthevillagestreetashandinhandtheywalkedtoDivineservice,allsosoberandquiet,yet,withal,allsorestfulandblessed.LetmoderncantsneeratPuritanicalsimplicityifitwill,theformerSabbathinruralandurbanEnglandhadaquietrestfulnesstheselatterdaysarestrangersto.ThenIrememberhowmymotherloweredhertoneasshetoldoftheblowwhichfelluponherhomewhenherfatherdiedintheprimeofmanhood,andafewdaysafterwards,tocompletetheirsorrow,hermotherbreathedherlastamidthetearsofherselfandherorphanedbrothersandsisters;theylaidthebodiesofherparentsinsureandcertainhopeofabetterresurrectioninthevillagechurchyardinonegrave.Irememberhow,withpardonablepride,shewouldspeakofthemannerherfather’scharacterhadimpressedthebigfolkattheHall.Andhow,onthedayhermotherdied,oneoftheEarlManvers’ladyrelativescametovisitthehomeofdeathandtocomfortthepoormotherlessandfatherlessbairns.Onesceneseemedmostvividlytohaveimpressedher-thedayofthefuneral.Thesolemnprocession,thecrowdedvillagestreet,thereverentialattitudeofthevillagers,theaffectingserviceinthechurchyard,thetendertonesofthekind-heartedclergyman,and,aboveall,thequietcornerofthechurchyardwherethe-gravelay,andwhereoft,alone,thoughagirlshesatandwept.Sooftandsovividlydidshedescribetheplace,thatwhenIwasaladIusedtothinkIcouldfindthespotwithoutaguide.Tovisitthesescenesofearlydaysinmemorywastoherameansofgrace.Shesupportedherselfintheimmediatesorrowbythethoughtofhappierdays.ThisistheDivinemethod.TheglorythatwasandistobesupportsthesoulthroughalltheCalvariesthatliebetween.Whenthegraveclosedovertheformsofherfatherandmother,sheturned,anorphan,theyoungestofallthatwereleft,toacold,unsympatheticworld.Fromthathourtothehourwhenlikeatiredchild,shesleptindeath,Providencegavehernorestforthesoleofherfoot.

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SodeeplyhadmymotherimpressedmewiththescenesofheryouththataftermyconversiontoGodIlongedtovisitthem.Buttosolicitavisitwascontrarytobothmyheart’sfeelingandresolve.Formycallintotheministrywasdistinctlyfromheaven.Andoneresolveofmyheartwas,thatIwouldneveradvertiseforservices,andIwouldneverseekforopeningsofChristianwork.IfmycallwasofGod,Hemustcleartheway.Idonotrecommendthisruletoall,butitwasmine,withoneexception,andthatwasinrelationtotheplacewheremymotherwasborn.IrememberprayingthatGodwouldopenmywaytopayavisittotheplaceofherbirth,thatImightpreachtheGospelwhichhadsavedmeamidtheassociationsofmymother’searlydays.Ashorttimeafter,alettercamefromthePrimitiveMethodistSocietySteward,askingifIcouldconductafortnight’smissionatEdwinstowe.Ianswered,“Yes.”IrememberthedayIarrived.Mr.andMrs.Freeman,accordingtothenativegenerosityoftheirkindlyhearts,receivedmeasaservantofJesusChrist.Afterthefirstsalutation,Iasked,“Whereisthechurch?”“Attheheadofthetown,”Iwasanswered,“theteaisready,comeandtakeameal.Youcanvisitthechurchafterward.”“Thankyou;no,thatchurchyardisasacredspottome,Imustgotherefirst.”LeavingthehouseIwendedmywaytotheupperendofthevillagetotheoldchurch,which,forthesizeoftheplace,wasafinestructure.Thechurchandchurchyardbeingelevatedabovetherestoftheroadway,Ipassedthroughtheswing-gateandascendedthefewstonestepswhichopenedonthepathwayleadingtothechurchdoor.Theoldsextonwasbusyputtingsomegravesinorder.“Sexton,”Isaid,“Iamastrangerhere.Mymotherwasborninthisplace.Herparentslivedhereall

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theirdays,anddiedwithinafewdaysofeachother.Theywereburiedsomewhereinthischurchyard,andmymotherhasdescribedthespotsoman;timestomethatIthinkIcouldfinditwithoutaguide.”Theoldmanseemeddeeplyinterested,andleaningonhisspade,heaskedmetheirnames.“Robinson,”Ianswered.“Ah!”saidhequickly,“I___”Isawatonceheknewthenameandtheplace,soIstoppedhimbysaying,“Pleasedon’ttellme.Iwant,ifIcan,todiscoveritmyself.ButwillyoupleasewalkbehindmeandtellmeifIgowrong.”Theoldman,withasmile,andspadeinhand,cameclosebehind.Makingmywaytotheleftsideofthechurch,Icametoaquietcornernearthehedgewhichdividedthechurchyardfromthevicaragegarden.There,inashadyspot,wherethefeetoftheirreverentseldomstrayed,weretwograves.Istoodforafewsecondsatthefootobservingcarefullythesurroundingfeatures.Turningtothesexton,Isaid,“Myfriend,Iamnotsure,butIbelievethegraveIseekisoneofthese.”“Youareright,sir,”heanswered,“thegraveofMr.andMrs.Robinsonistheonenearestthehedge”“Thankyou.Andnow,sexton,Iwanttopray.PerhapsyouwillnotmindmekneelinghereandspeakingtoGod."“Ohno,Idonotmind.”Kneelingdown,whiletheoldgrave-diggerbaredhishead,IaddressedmyselftotheEternal.IthankedGodforthesimplicityandpurityofthelivesofthosewhosebodieslaybeneaththatsod.IthankedHimforHismercyinpassingthereligiousinstinctthroughtheirlivesintomymother’sveins,andthenintomyown,andforthecrowningmercywhichhadbroughtmetothatspotapreacherofrighteousness.IprayedthatashehadheardmyformerpetitiontoopenthewaythatImaypreachtheGospelwheremymotherwasborn,hewouldsoqualifymefortheworkthatthemissionshouldneverbeforgotten.NevershallIforgetthatscene.Blessedly,consciously,powerfullyGodenduedmewithhisgrace.NotonlydidGodmanifestHimselftomebymyfaith,butthroughalltheavenuesoffeeling.LanguageistoopoortotellwhatIexperiencedinthathour.OfonethingIwascertain,thevictoryofamarvellousspiritualtriumphwaswon.Ionlyhadtogoandgatherthespoil.Thatmissionwillneverbeforgottenbythosewhopassedthroughit.Apostolicsceneswerewitnessed;thelittlechapelbecametoosmalltoholdthepeoplewhowishedtobeconverted.TheWesleyanfriendsthrewopentheirdoors,andthewideravenueswerenotsufficienttocontaintheglory.Inthelanes,thefields,thestreets,eventhepublic-houses,theonethemewassalvation.This,perhaps,isnottheplacetogivedetailsofthiswonderfulworkofgrace.Sometimeinafullerrecord,thewholemaybetold.Strangetosay,whilewritingthesewordsalettercomestomebypostfromonewhoselifewasredeemedduringthisgracioustime.Thewritertellsmeofthevividimpressionmadeuponhismindbytheservices.Howthesceneshewitnessedimpresshimeventothishour.Hespeaksofone,hisnextdoorneighbourinthosedays,whoselifewasgodless,butwho,onthesecondnightofthemissioncametoGod.“She,forsixyears,livedaholylife,”andthenwasnot,forGodsuddenlycalledherhome.Hetellsmeofamanwhooutsidethechapelwassmittentohis

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kneesbythemightoftheHolyGhost,andwho,at,thishour,isinfellowshipwiththeChurch.Hewritesofonewholiterallyfelltothegroundas"onethatwasdead,andreceivedtheforgivenessofsin.ThismandiedtriumphantinJesusChristinthegrandoldhistoricAbbeyofRufford.Yea,andherecordsthecaseofanother,who,beingoftenreproved,hardenedhisneck,andwassuddenlydestroyedwithoutremedy.Wellmayheclosewiththewords,“Eternityalonewillrevealthegoodthatwasdone.”

MoreIwouldwrite,butspaceforbids.LetmeclosebystatingthatIcanneverforgetmymother’slasthours.Herlifehadbeenfullofgrief,butnowthetragedywastoend.Naturewassinking,notbeneaththeweightofyears,butbeneaththeweightofcares.Leftanorphanatanearlyage,castupontheworld’scoldcharityuntilshebecamethewifeofmyfather,when,forfortyyearssheexperiencedallthemiserywhichcanbesummedupinthatmostwretchedtitle-adrunkard’swife.WithshamedoIconfessthatmyownprodigalityandsinhadoftencausedthosecheekstobestainedwithtears.Butnowtheracewasnearlyrun,thefightwasalmostended,onemorestruggleandshewouldbefree.Standingwithintheroomwhereshelayoneday,IfeltasbysomestrangepresentimentthatIshouldneverlookuponherlivingformagain.Ihadtakenmyeldestboywithme,forwhomIwishedmymother’sblessing.StandingatthefootofthebedIscannedthethin,wastedfeatures.Allthepastcamebeforeme.Thedisobedientact,theunkindword,allpassedbeforemeinvividreality.WhatwouldIhavegiventohaverecalledthewrongsofthepast.InthatonebriefhourIseemedtoliveallmylifeoveragain.ThankGod!withthosekeenregretscamethecomfortingreflectionthatIstoodbymymother’sdeath-bedaregeneratedsoul.TakingmyTestament,Iopened

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itatthefourteenthchapterofSt.John’sGospel,andreadaloudtohertheconsolingwordsoftheLordJesus.Ispokebrieflyoftherestabove.Herupliftedhand,solemnlook,andtrustfulwords,confessedhersecurityofsoul.Mysonreceivedherblessingonhisknees.Kneeling,IcommendedoncemorehersoultothetenderGod.Thenlsangtoher:

“Jesus,Loverofmysoul,LetmetoThybosomfly,

Whilethenearerwatersroll,Whilethetempeststillishigh;Hideme,OmySaviour,hide,Tillthestormoflifebepast,Safeintothehavenguide,Ohreceivemysoulatlast.”

Whenleavingtheroomoureyesmetoncemore,andinanecstasyofjoysheclaspedherhands,exclaiming,“ThankGod,IhaveonesonservingtheRedeemer.”Ineversawheraliveagain.Thenexttimewemet,thepoorhouseofclaywastenantless.Takingmystandbythesideofthecoffininwhichhersilentformwaslying,Iboretestimonytothegoodnessofherlifetothosewhogatheredround.HowblessedtoknowthatmydevotiontoJesussmoothedthedeath-passageformypoorsufferingmother!Ihavegonetothequietspotwhereherasheslie,andkneelingwithmychildren,IhavefeltmyheartthrobwithjoyatthethoughtthatmyworkfortheLordbrightenedformymotherthegloomofthevalleyoftheshadowofdeath.Andsurelyitiseternallytrue,thatkindlyactionsandgentlewordsdonetothedeardepartedmakericherharmonyinthesoulthaneversoundedfromcathedralchoir;butbitterwordsandunkinddeedsbringbackfromthegrave’sdeepvoidnonoteofjoy.Mymother’striumphoverdeathstronglyconfirmedmeintheveritiesoftheChristianfaith.Herstrugglesforrighteousnesswhilesurroundedbysomuchdevilryandsin,wererewardedwithafinalvictory.And,saywhatwewill,themoraltoneofeachperson’slifethrowstheshineortheshadeacrossthelastfewhours.Death,likesorrow,bringsthesoultothefront.Thereisacloseconnectionbetweencharacterandthelightordarknesswhichgathersroundthedepartingspirit.

“Farewell!dearheart,tillmorningbreaksInsplendourontheshore

OfHeaven:I'llseetheethenandpart,No,never,nevermore."

(Tobecontinued.)__________________________________________________________________________________ReferencesPrimitive Methodist Magazine 1901/273