Z PetZ• These pages are in honor of the pets we

love. If you thought you were crazy about your cat or dog… and especially if you just lost your best friend-animal, check these people out… it helps!

Dedication

• These pages are dedicated to Rock, the Gentleman Cat, who died on the morning of August 3, 2003 at the age of 17 years, and all the wonderful crazy people who care.

• (much thanks to Matt IHZP for this photo!)

Tux- (Road King Dan)

• July 10, 2003- I can’t remember why Dan sent me this picture of his kitty, it was just a normal day of cat lovers trading pics, discussing airbags and how best to carry pets in a car.

Keith FSometime after midnight August 2, I

asked everyone to pray for my cat Rock, I had just left him at the Animal Medical Center.

August 3, 2003, 2:44 am:Rock, and you, are in my prayers.

Paisan

I am so sorry about your kitty. I will say a prayer for him! I am a cat lover and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as well.

All the best,Tony

Lolly, the friend I have known the longest- since I was 11…

I wrote to ask all my friends- and even people who don’t like me- to pray for Rock to pee. This seemed really absurd and embarrassing. But that’s life. We find out that sooner- as in animals, and later- as in humans, a lot of living has to do with going to the bathroom.

So very very sorry to hear this.....you have done all (and more) that was humanly possible...let us pray for pee....

Brad and Nancy Y- ZZTopsdown

Don't feel like you're asking too much from your circle of Z-friends. Nancy and I lost a beloved kitty earlier this year, and she was the nicest little cat who meant very much to both of us. Her problem was a recurring bladder issue in which she would form bladder crystals and then couldn't pee, plus a colon thing where it didn't push the poop along, so she would get impacted and need an enema every 6 weeks. So, we spent a lot of time praying for pee and poop! We helped her survive 3 years of this, including a couple successful rounds of the rehydration routine (because after a trip to the vet for all the "fixes" she would get pissed off and not eat or drink anything).

We sure hope Rock pulls through. If he does, cherish each day with him, because you never know when he will get tired of the treatments and lose his will to live. It happens in cats, just like people. If he doesn't make it this time, rejoice in the love he gave you for so many years and know that his suffering is past. Either way, we're thinking about the both of you. PEE, ROCK !

My cousin Bill

• Rock is and will be in my prayers. He is such a wonderful cat and buddy.

• love ya • bill

My friend Joanne in Alabama

I loved him too. What a cool cat. I will miss him too.

See, Rock was always a better host than me. When my friends would come to stay with me, Rock would stay with them all night and keep them company while I was off doing whatever.

Mike P

I'm not a non-believer but certainly haven't practiced prayer to the degreethat I know should but I will think a kind thought for your "old sick cat” as I

understand the way one develops such a bond to animals.

Take care,Mike

Rory

At 10am August 3, 2003 my cat joined the rest of the animals in heaven.

My condolences. Losing something so close to you is always hard, but hopefully he had enriched you with the memories that will last you a life time. Hang in there Rachel...!

Betty M

So sorry to hear of Rock's passing. Our animals are so dear to us. You will always have great memories of him.

By this time I am beginning to wonder how I am ever going to manage, with or without the “great memories” everyone is telling me about. How did anyone ever get through this? I barely got through one night without him, and that was because I thought I might bring him home.

Nomer- my niece

I am so sorry. I was just thinking about Rock the other day, actually (and you too!!) I thought he would be the cat that lived forever..

Y2Kguru

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved cat, Rock. The loss of a friend and companion of so many years is especially hard. Over the many years I have had to deal with the loss of so many animal companions. I clearly remember each of the cats, dogs and horses of my adult years and more dimly remember the fish, turtles, parakeets, cats and dogs of my childhood. Each gave me great joy and in return were loved and cared for by me. All part of the Great Circle of Life!

JohnIn the last year or so I lost my Mom and three of my best friends, and had a couple

health scares myself along with 9/11. The great circle of life was everywhere.

Margo

Rachel, I'm so sorry to hear the outcome. Rest assured that probably nothing you would have done differently would have made much difference. Celebrate the wonderful long time you had together. I wish the timing had been different and I could have given you one of Michel's cats. I have one of them still with me and I couldn't give him up. (He's sleeping on my feet right now) I trust you will find another soon to share your life with, can't take Rock's place, but maybe can ease the pain. And you will be giving some poor kitty a new wonderful life!

It all happened so fast, I thought that I had let Rock down, I should have… gone to hospital sooner/ read up on the Internet/paid closer attention/questioned the vet... Here was Margo, my new friend, I met because her ex-husband Michel was my friend and one of the three who died this year. Michel knew a lot about cats, it was Margo who got me to take Rock to the hospital. What a weird world.

Carl, Ratdaddy Catdaddy

Dean (Rock’s Daddy) and I set out to the animal shelters just to see if maybe there was another animal waiting for me.

I am sorry you lost your cat Rock. Anyone who loves pets understands your pain. I think you are doing the right thing in getting another pet. He (She) will never replace Rock but your new fur ball will help heal the sadness you are now feeling. I wish you well and am truly sorry for your loss.

Enter Freddy

• Great cats and kittens at a happy no-kill ASPCA, our first stop. Second stop found us Freddy. So many special things about that meeting. The way he looked at me and put his head in my hand… probably most telling was when he hid behind a desk out of reach, I tapped my nails on the floor and he came right out to chase me. I knew he was my kitten. It took over 90 minutes to convince the staff to release him to me. They wanted me to come back another day! Uh uh! Either I was taking this kitten home or I was staying there overnight!

Rob L

I was so saddened to hear about Rock - and so heartened to hear about Freddie. Kathy and I are about as "cat people" as you're ever going to find and it was less than a year ago that we lost the first cat we gave a home to. Pinky was with us for 15 years and we loved her dearly.

However, anyone who shares their lives with these animals knows that if ever there was a creature woven into Karma and the universe - it's the cat.

The cat is part of your heart, the cat is part of your soul.The cat is.While you might think you went in search of a cat the truth is the cat found you. I don't "believe"

in much stuff but as far as I'm concerned, cats are cosmic. I'm sure you've got a lot of love to give Freddie and I'll bet he's got lots to give back. And wherever Rock is, he approves.

peace,Rob Lang

Betty M

• Congratulations to a new Mommy! You and Freddie will make each other veryhappy!

I was occasionally terrified. What if they were wrong? What if I was a terrible mother and couldn’t handle any cat except Rock? Rock made everything easy. He was just about the perfect cat. He just didn’t attack my plants or scratch anyone. He was totally cool. Even people who don’t like cats liked Rock. What if ..?

Bill Z

 I'm so sorry to hear of Rock's passing over the 'Rainbow Bridge'.  His memory will live forever in your heart.

 Freddie will certainly bring you much joy and happiness.  Of course he will be much

different from Rock.   Sherry and I have four cats and two dogs.  I would strongly suggest finding Freddie

a play mate.  It will make life much more enjoyable for him.  Especially when you are away.

 My thoughts are with you. 

Dax- my friend in England

Oh Rachel, I am so sad to hear about Rock. But he had a wonderful life and a wonderful mother. I do know how you feel, having been there too, and they are all missed terribly.

But long live Freddie (sure it isn't Freddy Sessler come back?). Lots of love to you and Dean

Actually, it is Fred Sessler, another one of my friends lost recently. For some reason the kitten just reminded me of him.

Paisan

I am so sorry for your loss. I would be devastated.

Good for you! I am sure Freddie will be happy and Rock will keep him in line from above!

If there was some tuna in it, Rock would help.

Kathy B- Hellrot Kathy

• Was so sorry to hear about Rock. Know how devastating it is to lose our four legged children. Freddie will help you with that. But Rock will always be with you in your heart. My thoughts are with you.

Cousin Lisa

• I'm so sorry I only just read your emails about Rock. He certainly was "always a gentleman", and I know you will miss him. He was a truly trusted and trustworthy friend. I hope Freddy can help fill a little of that spot in your heart that is dedicated to Rock; I am sure he will also find his own place there.

Joanne

• Good for you and Freddie. I love you, strong and lovable woman. • I borrowed the confidence my friends have in me. Obviously they didn’t know

how really bad I was, how Rock made me look good. Every time Fred fell on his head or nearly killed himself a hundred different ways I thought I had really screwed up. Something else really strange was going on, when I called Freddy by name, he came right away. Like a trained dog. We fell asleep the second night on the couch with him upside down between the crook of my arm and my stomach. Every second I was missing Rock- but then Fred would nearly kill himself and it would distract me.

Beth

I am so sad to hear the news of Rock's death! But, I am happy to hear about your new joy Freddy!

I'm thinking of you!

PeggyB

A little poem for you in memory of Rock.Rainbow BridgeJust this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow

Bridge.There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or

maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers.

Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...

DaxHi darling: You did what you thought best for Rock, and you loved him dearly, never

forget that. He was an old cat, actually at 17 that is pretty old for a cat what is it 7 human years for each cat year, so if you work it out (my math is not good) so it is (my mind is doing cartwheels). Had to get the calculator out = 119 so as you can see, he lived a long life. Rock is probably looking down from Kitty heaven thanking you for giving another Freddy a good life.

My mother always said don't have animals because the eventually die; what kind of a thing is that to say, so don't have children, don't do anything? In the meantime she will be 92 this month and is still going strong. So what the fuck does she know.

We are having a heat wave here, it is 100 degrees, and as you can imagine, everyone is huffing and puffing, trains must slow down, tracks expanding, and all those pure white bodies laying out in Hyde Park, getting redder and redder.

It is so hot, even the dog didn't want to go for a long walk.Lots of love to you and the Fred - I know you will love him to bits. Did you ever read

a book about a cat called Noris (or maybe it was Norbet) anyway this cat went everywhere with his owner, even to Paris, apparently every hotel that the cat visited loved him, and always prepared special meals for him. And this book was written by a guy who did not like cats.

DaveT

I often think of that morning that Rock woke me up, licking my face. Or the way he made me feel welcome, purring beside me. He was quite a guy.You gave him a nice comfortable home. I'm glad you found Freddie

Rock was crazy about Dave. I mean crazy!

Cathy O- Purple Cathy

Rachel, I never met your friend Rock, but I now know him. We are all God's creatures and he is romping around the clouds with his eternal Father. He is playing like a kitten w/no worries or pain. You have lots of love to share w/your new baby(s). Thanks for being one of the lucky ones that sees the love that cats/dogs share w/us. They are truly God's gift to us.

Vladimir- in Israel

That was one fucken lucky cat - who found you as its care-provider on this planet. Rock is in heaven now smoking some catnip and scoping out the new playpen!!!!

You helped me- August 6,2003 I gotta say thank you some how and get it to really stick- let you know you did something really

special, helped me in a way that is hard to define. Part of how you helped is the sheer numbers of gorgeous emails, because I was fighting off feeling like some kind of a freak for being so totally crushed by the death of one old cat. I might be crazy (no doubt) but I have a lot of company here.

Freddie wont let me spend much time on the keyboard• Lesson One for Rachel; It’s normal for people to love their animals and to fall down like a big

oak tree when those pets die• Lesson Two: It will never stop hurting.Almost every letter spoke of the love of life and pain of loss of their pet,whether it happened 20,

40, 60 years ago or last week. This gets split into those who hurt so bad that they can’t bear to receive another animal, and those who love an animal again, even though they know, with certainty, they will hurt again in precisely the same manner.I’m not brave. I didn’t get a kitten because I can handle the pain again 20 years from now, or whenever- God forbid- Freddie gets sick. I went looking for an animal or two because I needed some life in my house other than me. Something I can’t schedule or control. Something to make little noises so than when something goes “creak” in the night I will think it’s the animal, not a robber. I didn’t adopt Rock, he got left at my house and I let him stick around because he paid rent. He paid rent by making me laugh, saving me $$$ in shrink bills and by entertaining children who came to visitwith their parents. He was also my hot water bottle. He became my best friend, constant companion, hat, handkerchief and teacher. He was also a good judge of character. He was, most of all, my teacher. He taught me about kindness and unconditional love, forgiveness and priorities and most of all, grace. I was a shitty student. ;'''''''/ (that's from Freddy)I was never a “cat person”. It didn’t occur to me that he would become the center of my life until it was way too late. He got sick once and I went nuts with worry, then I knew really I was in big trouble. One day he was going to die and I had no idea how I could stand the loss. Natch, I started arranging everything in an attempt to cheat death.I did actually cheat death for a while there, or so I think. 4 years ago I was told that Rock would be dead soon, and then I lived just about every day appreciating him. That part was good. I don’t care, especially now, that some people gave me a hard time about choosing my cat over travel, over overnight stays (I would only leave him twice a year for trips over a day,once in May and once in September, that became Homecoming.) I worked hard to cheat death, used all my intelligence, connections, research to beat the system, and Rock’s new vet called him “The Miracle Cat”.

Lessons• Another lesson learned from Rock, that even when the wonderful reliable vet says it is

something simple and not to worry, look it up anyway.• Lesson Three for Rachel:The only way to avoid the hurt of losing what you love is to either never love anything or die first.On a normal day Rock would appear just about now and remind me by his unaffected demeanor

that all of what I was pondering was missing the big point as he would plop down and start cleaning himself or ask to be scratched or paid attention to.

It’s about living. It’s about making sure there is food for me, Mom, and it’s about getting up each day and cleaning oneself and finding a sunny spot to lie about and enjoy life. It’s about attention, which is something you can only get from the living. I told ya, this cat paid rent.

So I took care of the basic necessities, food, water, shelter and Rock took care of the essentials, play, joy, beauty simple togetherness, love. Like standing together in Union Square after September 11, it is just about being together.

Until death fucks it up.• Lesson Four for Rachel: I might not understand death, but there is something about new life. Rock was ridiculously handsome, he looked like a stuffed animal, perfect. What if my crippling

pain would take over my mind and perversely intend to “replace” Rock with some poor kitten that couldn’t possibly do such a thing. How do I honor Rock best, by smashing up his food plates,- especially his “South of the Border” food bowls- burning his papers and toys or by letting a new cat have these things?

• Even when Rock was alive, like when I had him in Florida, being in thishouse without Rock SUCKS.• (Funny, one reason I didn’t see Michel before he died was because I would not leave Rock

alone to go visit Michel. I have no regret about that, at least a human can understand and reason and talk on the phone. Also a human makes their own decisions about their health care, life and death.).

I live alone. Everywhere I look I see Rock. I tried to memorize his faceand every place he loved for these last years, another futile attempt to hold on to him.

Thank youAgain you helped- in the ways that I really needed. Even though the gremlins of timing shut my

email off, there were all of you, in such mass quantities – encouraging me to look for another animal. Believe it, I took your advice with me like a life preserver. Most important was something like “you will know when you meet your next animal”. Hard to describe our joy in the car with the kitten. I hadn’t even brought a carrier because I had no idea if we would be successful in finding him or even if it would be a cat or what size. They lent us a carrier. One stop for kitten food and his favorite litter and then we had to come home. Every moment he was fighting the cage, sticking his paws through reaching out to me LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT. I do not know how we could have made it into the house without Freddy.

Nearly 17 years of returning home to Rock, calling his name, usually with him waiting by the door, sometimes meowing and scratching feverishly at the door to see me. If I had doubts about keeping Rock’s belongings and toys, they were smashed when Freddy ran to the toys and made himself a bit crazy playing with everything. Slowly I began to realize that it had been a while since Rock had really played with them. Everything was new and utterly wonderful to Freddie. And then Freddy would do much of what Rock did, reminding me as I began to stress about losing Rock, whether I had made the right choices for him, Freddie would come and step all over my keyboard (I wonder where he is now, this is the longest he has ever let me type) meowing for attention, and scaring the daylights out of me by disappearing. I better pay attention to this new life! Freddie doesn’t need much. No need for daily pills, did he even need me? Rock had nearly 17 years of a very good life, only momentary problems and he died, against my best efforts. I do not understand why Rock had to die, really. I do see how Freddy is a new life that needs and deserves love.Life spans. I have one too. In about 20 years, (if I am very lucky and God forbid something happens to this life in my care before his normal life span) I will be in this spot again, brokenhearted and still missing Rock, and then also Freddie.

So this is how you helped me, you who have loved your animals and sympathized with me, letting me know that it’s fine and normal and human to be so completely in love with an animal, letting me know that the pain of the loss you carry every single day- and that it’s fine and normal and human to carry that around, and to continue to love animals and humans, even knowing that you are setting yourself up for this kind of pain. Life is wonderful, and it is temporary, spending 20 years of it loving and being loved unconditionally is a helluva good way to deplete the account.

Carl- Ratdaddy CatdaddyGod Bless and love Freddy. He looks just like my "Kitsey" that I had when Iwas a kid. I love tabbys. I feel that "life" comes in 3 stages. In thefirst stage we are conceived and carried by our mothers, warm and

secure inher womb. The second stage is frightening. We are expelled from this

warmsafe security and thrust out into the harsh world. We contend with terror,fear, happiness, love and sadness. This is the stage we are in as we readand write these e-mails. The third and last stage is death and depending

onyour beliefs can be eternally ever lasting. I know what the third stage isfor me and I do not fear it. I am sure some people mentioned the

"RainbowBridge." I hope and pray that when my time comes I will be reunited withall of my furry friends as well as family and friends. I cannot imagineanything else otherwise. I'm going to give my two dogs Brittany and Tara

abig hug right now. Have a good weekend :)

Paisan

• I wanted to share something with you. Have you ever heard of the Rainbow Bridge?

DreamsAugust 7, 2003Last night I dreamed that I had both cats here, Rock and Freddie.

Itwas all very normal, they were both in the kitchen waiting for

food, just being my cats. I remember thinking, "Why was I so worried about bringing another cat in the house with Rock here, everything is fine, Rock doesn't mind and they can keep each other company."

At that point Freddie started punching me with his paw to wake me up because his food bowl was empty.

Todd- my neighbor

• I was sorry to hear about the cat. It's never easy to lose them. But your attitude is the right one. Look onward and upward and enjoy Freddy.

Jake- Elaina B

Sorry to hear of the loss of your old pal Rock. Having walked that path many times myself, I find great comfort in remembrance of all the ways my cats (dogs, horses, bunnies) comforted, loved, vexed and entertained me. Glad to hear you are open to a new soul to pick up the twine with which Rock no longer plays. Posts a few pics when you can.

The spiffy black cat picture is of the late, great, Jake (one of the Mews Brothers). Like his namesake, he has passed on.

Lisa #1

• I'm sorry to hear about Rock. He was a great cat. I send you my thoughts and prayers.

Shrewdi Rudi- (Roxana)

Just reading both your posts and a prayer to make you feel better. I know how you feel and just remember the good times with Rock. When I lost St.John/dog last April , it was tough. Several months later , Shrewdi Rudi was in our possesion.

He is 15 months old now we've made new memories and the old ones are always with you. Feel better.

PS. I hope St.John does not spot Rock , before he gets acclimated at the Rainbow's end..ruf.ruf..meow.meow..

Cathy O• A short story about Mr. Reilly. My 12 year old best friend. Several years ago, I

was in an accident and was home for 6 months. I was semi mobile but was going crazy; just couldn't relax.

• One day I decided to whatever Mr. Reilly did as he was the most relaxed being I had ever met. Well, the next day we woke up, took a nice long stretch, got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Next we went to kitchen for a little water and another long stretch. Then back to bed for our morning nap. I already felt relaxed doing as he did. Around 11 we got up, stretched again and he licked his paws, I washed my face and hands, and proceed to get some food. He ate, I ate and we went to lie down in the living room, he in a sunbeam on the floor and me in a sunbeam on the couch. We slept for about two more hours, all the while I was becoming more and more relaxed. Around three in the afternoon, as the sun was going down, we had another snack, drank some water, stretched and walked around the house, up and down the stairs, just checking everything out and back to bed for our afternoon/evening nap.

• By the end of the day, every fiber of my being was totally relaxed, thanks to Mr. Reilly. I felt I was in a semi-coma. He was a lovable, playful best friend and taught me a very valuable lesson. Relax, all will come to us in its own time. Lay in the sunbeam every now and then.

• Mr. Reilly has been gone for a few years and Murray the doxie and Paddy Boy the Pug now share our home. Lots of love to go around. God blessed us with these special animals.

• Have a great day and enjoy your new kitty

Dax

Hi Darling: Got all your emails. You have to stop agonizing, as I said before Rock had a great life, and you loved him, that is what you do with animals. You just love them while they are here with you. He was lucky to have you, other people would have abandoned him (fuckers).

I also agonized over my cats, but they all lived a good full life, and probably would have died much sooner if they would have been in the wild. You did the best darling, and don't forget it.

Glad you had the dream, Rock is fine in kitty heaven, probably with his family, although animals never remember their mothers, fathers, or siblings. Perhaps that is better than humans. I don't know.

Kisses to you and the Fred, lots of love to Dean and you daxxxxxxxxx

Kathy Ice Blue

Rachel, remember that Freddie has never been a cat before, so he's trying things out. He's also training you to his liking--he probably feels that Rock did a lousy job! But maybe he'll get it right. He's also never had a house before--and he's a bright curious kitten. You'll have to see how his personality develops. Remember, Rock was a senior citizen the last many years. He was probably happy to sit and keep you company--Freddie is just learning about life.

Most of us don't start out as cat people. They're just so much easier than dogs--but there's the tradeoff, they are much more independent. Each and everyone of us feels that their animal is the most special--and no one can convince us otherwise. One of my good friends breeds and shows Persians. I get her failure to thrive and otherwise health impaired babies. Some have been the most incredible animals. We all

have stories.

You have to go through your grief process for Rock, nothing but time will make it better. Keep remembering that Freddie is Freddie and will be very special in his own way and time, but he will never be Rock.

Brad & Nancy YGlad to hear that you're working through all of the emotional

issues that go along with a loss and recovery. It's a real roller coaster, but it sounds like Freddie is going to be a wonderful friend.

After we lost Neelix, Nancy took a few weeks with just the two boys, Wooleybear and Kramer. But then she hit the shelters and came home with Briget, a beautiful, petite grey and white shorthair with a heart of gold and a kitten's curiosity and unbridled love. So life goes on, we had a circle of friends to help us deal with losing our little problem child with special needs, and we now have a new bundle of joy who fits wonderfully into our household.

So.... no apologies needed! Enjoy Freddie. Learn all about him while he learns all about you. And savor every day you have together :)

Paisan

Hows the new kitty? I hope you are doing well and Freddie is doing just as well. I am one of the rare guys that loves cats more that any other pet! One of my kitties gives me a kiss every night. Never two though. I don't know why.

Y2KguruYou just have to go into having a pet with the realization that

you're probably going to outlive that pet. Of course, as I get older, the odds are beginning to shift to the side of the pet.

We currently have a parakeet that showed up at my front door last year (pretty amazing since we live on 5 acres) and a cat that also muscled it's way into our lives.

We are down to four horses, three of which are getting a bit older.

Enjoy Freddy and keep Rock's memory in your heart. Just as with our Human friends, our pets are never really gone if we remember them.

RichC

It happens tot he best of us!Getting older, that is.