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ZOO Looking for a Xmas holiday getaway that’ll amaze your friends? Then search no further… Five reasons YOU should holiday in NORTH KOREA BOOK NOW OR BE DISAPPOINTED! NORTH KOREANS HAVE METH FOR BREAKFAST… LITERALLY Visit someone’s house in Oz and you’ll get a cup of tea. Visit someone’s house in North Korea and you’ll get a few lines of ice. Many factories over there crank the stuff out in huge quantities, and locals take it to fight colds, give them a burst of energy, or help them stay up to work or study. The country sold meth overseas to get hard currency in the 1990s, but today most of their meth is consumed within their borders. So in other words, ice is like North Korea’s version of Red Bull. THEY’VE GOT A KICK-ARSE AIRLINE Air Koryo, the country’s national carrier, is the only airline in the world with a one-star rating. Their fleet consists of Soviet-era planes that have been banned from flying in Europe, and the pre-flight talk from the attendants shows you how to stick an oar out your window and row the bastards through the sky. In-flight entertainment is usually censored, and the whole experience is like being stuck back in the 1950s. Service is rumoured to be excellent, however, mainly because any stewardess who stuffs up will be sent to gulag for 50 years. Flights leave from Kuala Lumpur. See your travel agent. 1 2

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Page 1: z--_Issue_450,_2014

ZOO

Looking for a Xmas holiday getaway that’ll amaze your friends? Then search no further…

Five reasons YOU should holiday in NORTH KOREA

BOOK NOW OR BE

DISAPPOINTED!

NORTH KOREANS HAVE METH FOR

BREAKFAST… LITERALLY

Visit someone’s house in Oz and you’ll get a cup of tea. Visit someone’s house in North Korea and you’ll get a few lines of ice. Many factories over there crank the stuff out in huge quantities, and locals take it to fight colds, give them a burst of energy, or help them stay up to work or study. The country sold meth overseas to get hard currency in the 1990s, but today most of their meth is consumed within their borders. So in other words, ice is like North Korea’s version of Red Bull.

THEY’VE GOT A KICK-ARSE AIRLINE

Air Koryo, the country’s national carrier, is the only airline in the world with a one-star rating. Their fleet consists of Soviet-era planes that have been banned from flying in Europe, and the pre-flight talk from the attendants shows you how to stick an oar out your window and row the bastards through

the sky. In-flight entertainment is usually censored, and the whole experience is like being stuck back in the 1950s. Service is rumoured to be excellent, however, mainly because any stewardess who stuffs up will be sent to gulag for 50 years. Flights leave from Kuala Lumpur. See your travel agent.

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