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Corvallis Advocate | 3

July 2-9, 2015

Editor/Publisher Steven J. Schultz

Assoc. Editor Johnny Beaver

Entertainment Editor Ygal Kaufman

Words Johnny Beaver Matt Walton Sidney Reilly Kyra Young “Padma McKaye Whitman Spitzer John M. Burt Nathan Hermanson Ygal Kaufman

Design Bobbi Dickerson

Calendar Nathan Hermanson

What’s InsIde thIs Week?4 Bad Coffee Eats Chinese Food; Orange

and Black for Blob; Fun with Numbers

5 As the State Turns: Lazy Pot Primer and Salmon Just Give Up

6 Weed Rules; Retail Says Maybe

7 Pot Research Stir; Baking with Cannabis

9 Legal Weed’s Sci-Fi History; Panto Audition

10 Calendar

12 8 Days

14 Entertainmental

15 Hard Truths

The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials.

Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com

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After nearly 25 years of operation, Young’s Kitchen is closing its doors.

Before doing so, the Monroe Avenue student staple taped up a handwritten message explaining that they are closing on Aug. 15 due to losing their lease.

Kyunam Kim, Young’s owner for the last nine years, was sent a very brief letter from the accountant representing Nex Gen Enterprises, the owner of the lucrative property bordering OSU campus on Monroe Avenue. The message stated that upon Kim’s lease expiration on Aug. 31, there would be “no additional renewal options.” Nex Gen seems to feel no need to speak to Kim in person; the letter states, “We will not be offering you a new lease.”

Despite NexGen’s insistence on severing economic ties with Young’s Kitchen, Kim fought back. He offered to match the rent

the next tenant will pay, somewhere in the neighborhood of $5,500 a month. The deal breaker was when Nex Gen’s counsel responded that the new tenants are allegedly planning on investing $200,000 into the property for “site improvements.” “Local business owners can’t compete legally or financially with out-of-town chains,” Kim lamented.

NexGen’s principal, Patrick Collins, confirmed in a phone conversation that there was a national chain moving in. When pressed for further details, Collins said, “I am not at liberty to discuss that property,” but then hinted that he may be more forthcoming next month. Such a tease, Patrick.

Kim’s sign does say that his understanding is that the new tenant will be a nationally known coffee chain, but we have not been able to confirm that.

In short, Corvallis is losing a locally owned and operated business for a national chain. When asked about the future of Young’s Kitchen, Kim seemed dedicated to finding a new location as close to their current home as possible.

Young’s Kitchen Forced outLoses Lease, National Chain Moving in

By Matt Walton

The last time you went swimming at the Oregon coast, did you happen to

drag a toe through a mysterious warm spot? Perhaps you at first thought it was something innocent, like pee. But as you continued to swim it just stayed warm, a huge area, and you must have thought to yourself, “Who peed here? Godzilla?”

Just me, huh?

The giant warm-water mass that has been camped out in the ocean just off the coast of California, Oregon, and Washington, which scientists have dubbed “The Blob,” may be the culprit to blame for California’s punishing drought. Or at least that’s what some are theorizing, and now OSU scientists are leading the charge to find out for sure.

The coolest part about this new charge is that you can actually help.

The project plans to run hundreds of computer model variations to figure out the effect of the Blob on our climate, and these models are so complex it would require three supercomputers just to crunch the numbers. So the researchers are crowd-sourcing some of the computer power needs to local citizens who want to volunteer to run simulations on their personal computers.

“It takes about a week to run a year-long unit of climate data and the program is set up to automatically feed the results back to the scientists. It’s a great way for the general public to help the scientific community investigate some of the climate variations we’re seeing,” said Phil Mote in a press release. Mote is the

principal investigator on the project for OSU, and he’s the director of the Oregon Climate Change Research Center.

The drought afflicting parts of California, Oregon, and Washington has ranged in severity across the vast coast, but with Californians rationing water and no end in sight, this project is crucial in hopefully providing some answers

that might lead to a solution. Also, I have family in California, and I certainly don’t want them moving here to avoid a dustbowl and camping out in my living room. So pitch in, won’t you?

If you’re interested in helping the investigation with your home computer, sign up at www.climateprediction.net/weatherathome/western-us-drought.

nothing can stop the BloBOK, Maybe ScienceBy Sidney Reilly

Local Corvallis newspaper offers article with high school basketball statistics

for players about to come to OSU. The number of people that care has been scientifically proven to ebb and flow with the amount of orange and black sh*t on their person or property.A data company in a state you probably forgot existed named Corvallis the best small city in the U.S. for police in terms of wages, cost of living, safety, etc. Be right back, I have to go poop due to the excitement.After a nearly 25-year stint at Linn-Benton Community College, Vice President Beth Hogeland is retiring. When asked for comments on the situation, several students responded with, “Yo, is she that ^$#@! that &%@! up the graphics design program or whatevers?”The Corvallis police blotter remains pathetically boring this week. Come on, crack heads, let’s not let Linn County always hold the crown.The Lebanon Log: June 20 was met with reports of a naked man running alongside a 16-year-old jogger on Tennessee Road. On June 23 a woman stole her neighbor’s tomato cage, and on June 24 a woman’s neighbor attacked her with a cane... possibly unrelated. On June 25 a house was burgled and a safe was stolen—said safe was reported by a very unimaginative homeowner as containing “gold and silver bars.”Lebanon celebrated National Animals in the Road Day on June 25, with a bull spotted near Golden Valley Road and six sheep hanging out on Swank Drive.

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No, you do NoT hAvE To rEAd ThE rEsT oF ThIs NEwspApEr Pot, pot, pot. Yes, as of yesterday, you can do a whole bunch of stuff with pot that you couldn’t legally do before: such as smoke it. In fact, legal consultants are even suggesting that you can bake yourself some delicious pot-fudge brownies, plop your a*s on the couch and freak out to Princess Mononoke on Blu-ray, complete with a 36.7% reduced fear of SWAT swinging through your windows on black tactical ropes, Uzis primed.

Whew, that was intense. Anyway, you still have to use your dispensary stash (in which case this was already possibly legal) or your shady drug dealer to get “hooked up” (my sources tell me this is what the kids say). Believe it or not, if someone has a medical marijuana card, it will be totally legal for them to shower you with their weed as a gift. Too bad the same thing can’t be said for Ambien, as I can’t afford insurance and don’t sleep worth a sh*t.

The Oregon Liquor Control Commission is taking their sweet a*s time hammering out the rules that will allow businesses to get licensed for dope sales, but the Jan. 4 cutoff for them to have gotten things in gear may be getting swept back. A joint government-folk committee is trying to get pot on retail shelves as early as the first of October.

But what if you really like road trips and just really need some pot... can you go to Washington, pick up an ounce, and then head on back to Corvallis? Yes and no. It’s federally illegal to cross state lines with it—

even if you park, get out, and throw it over the state line, then drive across and pick it up. Even if someone else throws it over and you pick it up. However, Portland police have made it pretty clear that they don’t care. So basically nothing new there.

Honestly though, folks, be careful. Please review the following list to be sure you don’t step outside of the law.

1. Don’t smoke pot and try to ride your dog—you will smoosh it. Yes, even if it is a big one. Burying a dog while stoned is a real downer.

2. Don’t smoke pot and try to do a jumping double-kick at 3 a.m., hitting two of your neighbors’ doors on either side of the hallway at once. You can pull your groin. It’s not worth it.

3. Don’t smoke pot and start running and giggling in a group. Each running and giggling person will perpetuate the others, and despite the fact that nobody involved has any idea what the hell is going on, it will continue for some time.

4. Don’t smoke pot and convince yourself that the Universe only exists within your field of vision, because you’ll feel like you’re slipping out of existence. Not cool, bro.

suprEmE CourT: Go Go GAdGET, GAy mArrIAGE As you have undoubtedly heard, the U.S. Supreme Court defied all logic and made a logical, human, caring move in their decision to strike down gay marriage bans. What has this changed specifically for Oregonians?

Well... not a whole hell of a lot, considering we were already recognizing gay marriages. Because we’re awesome.

ThE mosT BorING NAkEd BIkE rIdE EvEr Ten thousand people took to Portland streets once again, dingle-dongs flapping in the breeze, boobies fhwumpin’ back and forth amidst the sounds of bicycle tires rubbing on pavements and random dudes saying, “Hey, bro, pass me that joint.” All from within the friendly confines of bicycles helmets and proper footwear, of course.

Unfortunately no major crashes or naked fistfights occurred, and there were a distinct lack of 911 calls to help rescue wing-dang-doodles from bicycle chains. Only a bunch of people quoting “body positivity” as their reason for showing up, because they had read some sweet Meghan Trainor lyrics and somehow missed all of the hypocrisy.

All in all pretty damn lame, but still more entertaining than most of the bureaucracy that greases the gears of our fair state, so quit your complaining.

orEGoN sALmoN BITChING ABouT wATEr TEmpErATurE Salmon, they’re picky. They like water to be about 68 degrees. In fact, they like it so much, that with all of this heat raising river temperatures, the salmon have decided, screw it, we’re going to just die.

Caused by the double whammy of nasty, putrid heat and low water flow due to teensy snowpacks, these whiny fish are throwing in the towel early like a bunch of sissies. Though the full impact can only be guessed at, most experts say that this is likely to affect everything from yummy fish dinners to spawning, the number of fish people can impale on hooks to the number of fish jumping into canoes and scaring the crap out of people before they’re beaten to death with oars.

In the meantime, scientists of ill repute are fiddling around with reservoirs and whatnot to try to keep the temperature down and the sweet, pink flesh flowing.

(Thanks for giving up all our plot twists early, Beaver, I’ll get you for this. ~Ed)

as the state turns The Lazy Reader’s Pot Primer

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As of July 1, Oregon joined the pot club, becoming the third

state to legalize the recreational use of marijuana after Colorado and Washington. What friendly retailer options you may have—well, that is a different story. Originally, the Oregon Liquor Control Commission (OLCC) had until early 2016 to make some rules; the plan was to start accepting applications for retail operations.

That all started to change last Thursday. A bill allowing medical dispensaries to start selling to recreational customers on Oct. 1 passed through Oregon’s legislature and has now been approved by the senate. As it turns out, legislators were not high on the idea of the black market turning gray until sometime in 2016.

The legislation seems to target a temporary fix, but if passed, may also signal a framework for future licensing that shows at least some preference for facilities that are already compliant with the rigors of a medical licensure. That said, the OLCC will eventually promulgate rules, and two of the three local dispensaries are taking a wait-and-see attitude about that.

dIFFErENT pLANs AT EACh dIspENsAry Harold Lareau representing the Green Room on 9th and Walnut is the most decided. He says he plans to utilize every inch of space available in order to meet demand of his current OMMP patients and future recreational sales. He has prepared for ownership of a recreational sales business since he began business, but plans to separate medical users from recreational shoppers to offer the best services to everyone.

High Quality Compassion’s Brock Binder says they will remain devoted solely to medical

cardholders for the time being, and Kayla Dunham at the Agrestic just isn’t sure. Both believe there are just too many variables at this time to know what would be best and are concerned with having well-trained dispensary staff that can match incoming patients with the right products, which often takes at least half an hour.

Dunham is concerned there will be an influx in recreational users buying from the black market until there are legal recreational stores.

FuTurE TrENds Lareau and Binder agreed that legalization could help smooth out current dispensary operations. They look forward to higher standards in laboratory testing and a decline in negative stigmas surrounding the plant. Lareau predicted that more Oregonians might pursue medical dispensary licenses, while Binder said that some Oregon health insurance companies were interested in extending prescription coverage to medical marijuana patients.

Both Lareau and Binder believe that recreational retail facilities would eventually far outnumber medical dispensaries in Oregon, and both are optimistic that interstate and international

tourists would comprise a significant portion of their customer base. On this note, Dunham added that locations already drawing tourists would probably draw more recreational users, just because marijuana is available there now. None of the dispensaries believe that on-site smoking rooms would be a feature of recreational sales facilities.

Lareau and Binder believe that one day dispensary workers will fill a pharmacist’s role. They say that they have noticed doctors are learning more about the possible medical benefits offered by different strains of cannabis, and because of this, the prescriptions they write have become more specific and complete.

Dunham, on the other hand, disagrees. She believes that workers are more like naturopaths or herbal specialists. She says pharmacists work with synthetic chemicals that have very predictable outcomes, whereas cannabis is not shown to affect all people in one way. It’s very different from pharmaceutical drugs.

Lareau and Binder shared that they often engage with health care professionals who want information so that they can be better informed when speaking with patients.

All three also anticipate advances in marijuana genetics, production techniques, and storage technology, as well as cleaner, denser, and more potent strains to be available in the future.

It appears likely that recreational sales may be more lucrative, but even with this last week’s temporary fix, all of the dispensary owners agree they may need to wait and see what the OLCC does before making long-term plans.

pot shops MaY coMe QuicKer than planned

So, What Are Corvallis’ Dispensaries Going to Do?

By Padma McKaye

Considering this is a college town, and we like people who follow the

law, here are some simple suggestions (ahem… RULES) for using marijuana.

First, you have to be age 21 or older. You can give and receive marijuana as a gift, but private sales are a no-no, because of taxes. Retail is coming, but that’s another story—literally, it’s right on this page.

By the numbers, you may grow up to four plants on your property, have up to eight ounces in your home, and have up to one ounce on your person.

In terms of edibles, you can have up to one pound. With extract, you’re OK up to an ounce. Infused liquor, up to 72 ounces. Numbers are per house, not per person.

you’ll need to stay on the down-low. Smoking and growing cannot be in public view even if you are in your own home. You absolutely cannot smoke or ingest in any public space, even if it is privately owned.

If you rent, your landlord can have a no-weed policy and boot you. Employers have the same right. And, as no small aside, you’ll need to be sans cannabis if crossing state lines. The feds are not so amused with Oregon’s laws and their courts are a whole other kettle of tea.

Driving while intoxicated, even on a little ganja—still illegal.

Little-known fact: Measure 91 contains language allowing defendants an affirmative defense for using peyote connected to religious practice, which can only add fuel to the ongoing argument between our elder staffers as to what constitutes the best hallucinogenic, which none of us want to hear, not really.

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One of the biggest problems with presenting research on cannabis

is that there is not very much of it. Research, that is—there is plenty of cannabis. Currently, many physicians agree that marijuana is safe enough to temporarily alleviate the symptoms of certain medical conditions, but the safety of recreational use is poorly understood.

There is, however, some useful data.

One common misconception about cannabis is that it has no addictive properties. In fact, 9% of people who use marijuana will become heavily dependent on it, and that number is as much as 50% among those who use marijuana daily. The American Psychiatric Association defines cannabis use disorder in its DSM-5; it affects more Americans than any other drug use disorder. The rate was up to 1.7% of the population 10 years ago, which predates current potencies and legalization.

Tolerance builds up rapidly with frequent use. As much as eight times the normal dose is needed for regular users; this is often used as an argument that marijuana is a gateway drug. However, there are also well-understood strategies for overcoming this to some extent. Examples include increased exercise, starting with smaller doses in the morning, and sometimes taking days away from marijuana.

There is no concrete link between cannabis smoke and cancer, but there are carcinogens in the smoke, as well as many chemicals which are also found in tobacco. An analysis published in Scientific American last year based on data from 5,000 Americans found no decline in lung function among people who smoked joints two or three times a month over two decades. The authors say,

however, that they did not assess the effects of daily use on lungs.

Marijuana does not appear to have any significant negative neurological side effects when used responsibly by adults.

However, for those under age 25, the brain is still developing, and use

in this group is linked with lower IQ scores

later in life: up to eight points of loss.

Worse, combining alcohol and marijuana can be downright dangerous.

Younger drinkers do not often understand the

delayed effects of alcohol and may drink until the

onset of those effects, which means they will more easily drink to the

point of alcohol poisoning. Once marijuana is added to that equation, the cognition of those effects appears to decline further, leading to even more drinking. Add to this that both alcohol and marijuana are depressants, and that the latter inhibits the very nausea that may extract some of the alcohol, and it is little wonder there are increasing numbers of alcohol poisoning cases resulting in either permanent debilitating neurological damage or death in which marijuana is a factor.

All this aside, marijuana is perhaps the safest intoxicant available. On its own, not used with any other intoxicants or drugs and not laced with anything, it is quite nearly impossible to consume THC at a lethal level. Marijuana is the most commonly used drug in the world as well as in the U.S., with over 19 million people in the United States reported as having used cannabis in the last month. The key, as with many things, may lie in moderation and a generally healthy lifestyle.

Dear ganja enthusiast, some disclaimers... Dosages are

based on a series of calculations not knowing precise information about the THC content and weight of the product you use. If you are concerned about precise medicating, proceed with extreme caution.

Every person is different. For example, our Matron Saint can eat one 12 mg cookie and be stoned for six hours, while I, the prodigal daughter, could eat four and barely start to feel the comfort. Remember, you can always have more, but you cannot un-eat later.

With this in mind, the following recipes are functional for all levels of THC, CBDs, and all the other acronyms we’re learning to love. These recipes are for mid-level dosages—you can increase or decrease potency based on your desires, so user discretion is advised!

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Versatile Oil and Baked Goods

By Whitman Spitzer

CoConut Cannabusted oilTools and Ingredients:

For this recipe, we’re using a ratio of 1 cup coconut oil for every ¼ ounce of product (approximately 7 grams). Let’s pretend we know our product is 13% THC. If we follow our recipe carefully and release the optimal amount of said THC, then our net final product will contain up to 910 mg.

1. Mix your coconut oil and product together in your slow cooker. At room temperature, we can expect the oil to be solid; this is fine.

2. Heat on warm or low for two to three hours, stirring every half hour. Make sure that your slow cooker does not heat the oil mixture above 160 degrees.

3. Cool for 20 minutes.4. Set spout over container. Line the spout with

your cloth. Slowly pour your oil mixture into the cloth until it fills the spout, squeezing your oil through the cloth. Take as many rounds as necessary. You must use your muscles. Substitute for any recipes calling for coconut oil.

spliff these bisCuitsIngredients:

1. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.2. Bring the oil and flour together in a bowl with

your hands until they form a crummy mixture.3. Fold in milk until soft dough is formed. At this

point, your dough should be sticking to itself, not to the sides of the bowl. Knead until just combined.

4. Take your shaggy dough ball out of the bowl and toss it onto a floured surface, pressing and rolling it until it is half an inch thick.

5. Using a glass turned upside down, cut the dough into eight circles and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet.

6. Bake for 10 minutes.

If we assume we have used the same Coconut Cannabusted Oil as before, these biscuits have the potential to be up to 29 mg per biscuit. I’d butter that bread!

ChoCo-Chunk CoConut oiled hunksIngredients:

You have to cool the dough for at least four hours. Deal with it.1. Combine butter, sugars, egg, and vanilla. Beat

until well-mixed.2. Add your flour, pudding mix, and baking soda.

Beat these together until just combined.3. Add your chocolate pieces. At this point, the

dough should be shaggy; oily in some places, dry in others. That’s normal, I promise.

4. Now squeeze these sweet hunks into 24 nubbins of love. Flatten these nubbins into disks on a baking sheet/cutting board/other wide, flat surface and place in the fridge for AT LEAST FOUR HOURS.

5. After you COOLED YOUR DAMN JETS for four hours—you’ll regret it otherwise—preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

6. Take the cookies from the fridge and place on foil-lined cookie sheets. Now, if you like, you can dust them with coconut chunks of love.

7. Place in oven and cook for 11 minutes, until the edges don’t jiggle when you give them a light press.

If we are using the same potency of oil that we have made in the last recipe, we can then assume that this recipe will yield up to 30 mg of THC per cookie. Go slow!• Heat-proof

container• Slow cooker• Straining cloth

(We use old pillowcases.)

• Spout• Amount of dry

cannabis, preferably decarbed

• Coconut oil

• ¾ cup melted Coconut Cannabusted Oil

• ½ cup light brown sugar, packed

• ¼ cup raw sugar• 1 egg• 2 cups flour

• 1 sm. packet instant pudding (any flavor)

• 1 teaspoon baking soda

• 12 ounce chocolate hunks

• ¼ to ½ cup coconut shavings (optional)

• 2 cups self-rising flour

• ¼ cup solid Coconut Cannabusted Oil

• ¾ cup cold milk (plant milks work)

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Day by day, our world is coming to resemble the science fiction

of previous generations: pocket telephones, home computers, a black president, and now comes the commercial sale of legal marijuana.

These are all things that aren’t necessarily the subject of science fiction stories, but part of the “furniture,” the elements in a scene which are there to remind us that the story is taking place in the future. As one sci-fi writer pointed out, there are thousands of SF stories in which a character goes somewhere in a flying car, but there has never been even one which was about the invention of the flying car. The cars that fly and the doors that dilate are simply there. And so, often, is cannabis, legally sold and openly used.

In John Brunner’s 1969 Stand on Zanzibar, hemp has more or less replaced tobacco: it is sold in brand-name packs of pre-rolled cigarettes and smoked by businessmen in their offices (smoking at the office—imagine!). One of the characters is an executive of a cannabis company who is being blackmailed by criminals who want him to sneak cuttings of

the newest genetically engineered strain out of the lab so they can grow a pirate edition of it—sort of the way

people are trying to find ways to work around Monsanto’s patents on GMO crops.

In The Tomorrow File, almost the only sci-fi piece written by Lawrence Sanders (much

better known for his Deadly Sin mysteries), people might very well feel the need to light up a joint of Bold (distributed by the Federal Department of Public Happiness, formerly Health & Human Services), to help them endure the pain of being denied a permit to have a child, or to choke down the foul-tasting food made from petroleum. Or they might want to try the

legal government-distributed heroin...

If the government wasn’t going to hand out weed, then surely corporations would deliver it in plenty. In Norman Spinrad’s 1969 Bug Jack Barron, the most popular talk show on late-night TV is sponsored by “Acapulco Golds, America’s Premium Marijuana Cigarettes” (imagine—cigarettes advertised

on TV!). At the time, Acapulco Gold was a variety praised so much by pot smokers that even the least hip readers would recognize the name.

In David Gerrold’s 1972 When Harlie Was One, for instance, a character bums a cigarette, hoping for an Acapulco Gold but settling for a Highmaster. Harlie, by the way, is an AI program who communicates with his creators through a teletype—a printer whose keys clatter out text onto endless rolls of paper.

There was a widespread rumor in the ‘60s that one of the country’s major tobacco companies had quietly registered “Acapulco Gold” as a trademark—you know, just in case. Other brand names seen in sci-fi stories include Panama Red, Foxy Lady, Happening, and Too Much. This is one area in which sci-fi writers were, if anything, too cautious: brand names are proliferating rapidly in areas where pot is legal, with probably far more brand names than there are actual varieties available.

Finally, here’s a funny item: When I mentioned I was writing an article about SF stories in which pot was legal, almost everyone mentioned Robert A. Heinlein’s 1965 Stranger in a Strange Land. Now, that novel contains what was at the time considered some forward-thinking stuff and it was a favorite among college students, but in fact the book’s only reference to hemp is in a line where a wise old man expresses the fear that the hero may be tempted to join a particularly creepy cult group, declaring, “I’d rather see Mike smoking marijuana than converted by Digby.” Public nudity and a casual acceptance of gay politicians was one thing, Heinlein seemed to think, but pot smoking? Unthinkable.

legal weed used to Be sci-FiA Brief History of Futures That Are Today

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Aladdin is coming to the Majestic, but Agrabah and its inhabitants may be

a bit different than you remember.

With characters like General Boomenblast, Aladdin’s brother Sudsy, and his mother, the Widow Washingo, this adaptation is clearly a far cry from the original fairy tale or the more familiar Disney classic. But this isn’t just a clear and purposeful bastardization of source material. Instead, it’s the celebration and revival of a beloved form of theater known as pantomime (panto for short).

Panto developed primarily in England between the 16th and 19th centuries, out of the commedia dell’arte theater style in Italy. The key facets of panto are audience participation, tons of comedy, a set of stock characters, and some fun special effects. Somewhat vaudevillian in its practice, it is only fitting that Jimbo Ivy and his crew are bringing panto to the Majestic, which was originally a vaudeville theater.

The Majestic’s grand Aladdin panto experience is set for Oct. 2 through Oct. 18, with auditions coming up fast.

On both Monday, July 6 and Tuesday, July 7, interested members of the community can stop by the Majestic and audition for the varied set of characters needed to run the play. Auditions for the youth ensemble, for ages 10 to 17, begin at 4:30 p.m. on both days. Auditions for the adult leads begin at 7 p.m. on both days. Those interested in auditioning need only attend one of the days and must be prepared to sing and dance. Callbacks will be on Wednesday, July 8 at 7 p.m.

AlAddin panto audition, anYone?

By Nathan Hermanson

Stage Set for July 6 and 7 Tryouts


CALENDAR7/2-7/9

Thursday, JuLy 2albany Walk with the doc. TheCorvallisClinic,1705WaverlyDr.7:30–8:15a.m.TuesdaysandThursdaysthroughAug.27.The30-minutewalksareledbyJennyOlsen,M.D.Theyaredesignedtohelppeoplebeactiveandprovideanopportunitytotalkwithhealthcarespecialists.Allfamilymembers,includingpetsonleashes,arewelcome.Forinfo,call541-758-2747orvisitwww.corvallisclinic.com.

rusty hinges. CalapooiaBrewing,140NWHillSt.,Albany.7:30p.m.TheRustyHingesfeatureclawhammerbanjo,guitar,percussion,harmonica,andvocals.Forinfo,visitwww.calapooiabrewing.com.

Love Lightning. ImagineCoffee,5460SWPhilomathBlvd.7:30p.m.LoveLightningisaWestCoastrockfolkpopduofeaturingAlanSvec,vocalsandmusic,andJenniferSvec,vocalsandbackingrhythm.Forinfo,visitwww.imaginecoffee.net.

Infinite Improv. Cloud&Kelly’sPublicHouse,126SW1stSt.8p.m.Free.ThehilariousimprovanticsoftheInfiniteImprovfolks!Funwithspontaneouscomedy,usingaudiencesuggestions.

Free range Open Mic. BombsAwayCafé,2527NWMonroeAve.8p.m.Nocover.Anew,free-rovingopenmicnight.Forinfo,visitwww.bombsawaycafe.com.

EdM Thursdays. Riley’sBilliardsBar&Grill,124SWBroadalbinSt.,Albany.9p.m.Nocover.Forages21andolder.FeaturesDJEps.Forinfo,call541-926-2838orvisitwww.facebook.com/pages/Rileys-Billiards-Bar-Grill/420896604690340.

FrIday, JuLy 3red White and Blue Waterfront Festival. RiverfrontCommemorativePark,NW1stSt.Allday.Comecelebratethenation’sbirthdayonJuly3andJuly4onthedowntownbanksoftheWillametteRiver!BringyourfamilyandfriendstothedowntownCorvallisRiverfront,on1stStreetbetweenVanBurenandMonroeAvenue,forthisfun-filled,familyfestival.Thistwo-dayeventfeatureslivemusicthroughout,akids’magicianperformingonstage,anarrayoffoodvendors,colorfulcraftsbooths,children’sactivities,andOregonwinesandmicrobrews.Forinfo,visitwww.facebook.com/redwhiteandblueriverfrontfestival.

Jobe Woosley. ImagineCoffee,5460SWPhilomathBlvd.7:30p.m.Forinfo,visitwww.imaginecoffee.net.

Cody raymond. CalapooiaBrewing,140NWHillSt.,Albany.8p.m.CodyRaymondconsidershimselfaNeo-Soul,singer/songwriter,

andguitarist.Raymondisworkingfull-timeasamusician,frontingaband,performingsoloshowsandperformingonthestreetsofSeattleintheworld-famousPikePlaceMarket.HisinfluencesspanwidelyfromearlyjazztoRnB,bluesandgrunge-rock,andoffersauniqueliveperformanceexperience,drawingtheaudienceinafterasinglenoteplayed.Forinfo,visitwww.calapooiabrewing.com.

Flashback Fridays. JackOkole’sBar&Grill,140NW3rdSt.9p.m.–2a.m.Nocover.DJRobVinoplays80s,90s,NewWave,andThrowback.Forages21andolder.Forinfo,visitwww.facebook.com/jackokoles.

Lowdown. Cloud&Kelly’sPublicHouse,126SW1stSt.10p.m.Fridays.Nocover.AfestivedancepartyshowcasinglocalDJs.Forinfo,visithttp://cloudandkellys.com/music_and_nightlife.

Farm stand string Band. BombsAwayCafé,2527NWMonroeAve.10p.m.Cost:$5.FarmStringBandisAmericana/country/bluesy/awesome!Itsoundslikewe’reallonafrontporchinruralAppalachiawearingweirdbutcoolvintageclothingwithaflaskofwhiskeyinonehandandacigarintheother.FarmStandStringBand’sloveforawidevarietyofmusicpervadestheirperformanceoftimelesstraditionalAmericanrootsmusicandinventiveoriginaltunes.Liltingcellomelodies,breakneckflatpicking,movingharmonies,andfoot-stompingrhythmcombineincelebrationofthefinestthinginlife:agoodtime.Forinfo,visitwww.bombsawaycafe.com.

red, White, and rainbow. Cloud&Kelly’sPublicHouse,126SW1stSt.10p.m.Cost:$3cover,additionaldonationsaccepted.AftertheRiverfrontFestivaleventsonFriday,wanderonovertoCloud&Kelly’sforRainbowintheClouds.Corvallis’monthlyLGBTQ+dancenightisgoingtobeevenmorespecialthanusual—we’redancingallnightinred,white,oranycoloroftherainbow,andwe’rehavingacatwalkcompetition.Evencatwalkamateursarewelcometojoininthefun.ProceedsbenefitlocalLGBTQ+highschoolstudentsinneed,throughtheorganizationOutnAbout.Forinfo,visitwww.tinyurl.com/julyrainbow.

saTurday, JuLy 4red White and Blue Waterfront Festival. RiverfrontCommemorativePark,NW1stSt.Allday.Comecelebratethenation’sbirthdayonJuly3andJuly4onthedowntownbanksoftheWillametteRiver!BringyourfamilyandfriendstothedowntownCorvallisRiverfront,on1stStreetbetweenVanBurenandMonroeAvenue,forthisfun-filled,familyfestival.Thistwo-dayeventfeatureslivemusicthroughout,akids’magicianperformingonstage,anarrayoffoodvendors,colorfulcrafts

booths,children’sactivities,andOregonwinesandmicrobrews.StayforthespectacularCorvallisJayceesfireworksdisplayafterduskonSaturday.Forinfo,visitwww.facebook.com/redwhiteandblueriverfrontfestival.

story Time for Kids. ImagineCoffee,5460SWPhilomathBlvd.10–11a.m.Free.StoryMan,JamesWarren,readstochildrenofallages.Forinfo,visitwww.imaginecoffee.net.

The history of the Bald Eagle. ChintiminiWildlife,311NWLewisburgAve.10:30a.m.CelebrateIndependenceDaylearningaboutthehistoryofthebaldeagleinNorthAmerica.Learnwhathasmadethismajesticcreaturesosuccessfulithasnearlycolonizedanentirecontinent.Seefree-flyingraptorsupclose.

sunday, JuLy 5Zen Meditation. YogaCenterofCorvallis,111NW2ndSt.10a.m.–12p.m.Free.Donationsaccepted.Forinfo,call541-754-4124.

yoga for recovery. LiveWellStudio,971SpruceAve.12:30–1:45p.m.Forrecoveryfromsubstanceabuse,eatingdisorders,codependency.Bydonation.Forinfo,visitwww.livewellstudio.com.

First sunday Vocal Jam Circle. RiverfrontCommemorativePark,NW1stSt.2–4p.m.Free.FirstSundays.Participatoryimprovsinginginnaturalpolyphonicgroove,forallskilllevelsandages.Forinfo,call541-760-3069.

Blues Jam. CalapooiaBrewing,140NWHillSt.,Albany.4p.m.EverySunday.Getout,getin,andgetsomeonya!Forinfo,visitwww.calapooiabrewing.com.

MOnday, JuLy 6Walking with Poles for Mobility and Fitness. FitnessOverFifty,6735SWCountryClubDr.2:30–4p.m.Cost:$40ifregisteredbyJuly2,$45afterJuly2.Designedforpeopleexperiencingbalanceorwalkingchallenges,perhapsafterillnessorinjury,aswellasthosewhowanttoexperiencethebenefitsofwalkingwithpoles.Classsizeislimited.Bringpolesifyouhavethem;polesavailableforthosewithout.Forinfo,[email protected].

Majestic Theatre aladdin Panto auditions. MajesticTheatre,125SW2ndSt.4:30–9p.m.TheMajesticTheatrewillbepresentingaBritishpantostagingoftheclassicstoryofAladdinthisfall,withperformancesrunningOct.2throughOct.18.Thecastwillincludenineadultleadsand16youngsinger-dancers(ages10to17).

Youthensemble:4:30p.m.onMonday,July6andTuesday,July7.Adultleads:7p.m.onMonday,July6andTuesday,July7.Callbackswillbeat7p.m.onWednesday,July8.YouneedonlyattendMondayorTuesday,andcallbacksifrequested.Olderteenswiththeaterexperiencearewelcometoalsoauditionforadultleads.Forinfo,visitwww.facebook.com/events/1588371914765005.

Five stones sangha: Mindful Meditation. FriendsMeetingHouse,3311NWPolkAve.5:30–7p.m.FiveStonesSanghameetsregularlyeveryweektopracticemeditationandstrengthenmindfulness.Forinfo,call541-760-9760orvisitwww.fivestonessangha.org.

Prenatal yoga. LiveWellStudio,971SpruceAve.7–8:15p.m.EveryMonday.Drop-in.Cost:$50for30-dayintrooffer.Forinfo,call541-224-6566orvisitwww.livewellstudio.com.

Corvallis Guitar society Monthly Meeting Featuring James Edwards. GracewindsMusic,137SW3rdSt.7–9p.m.TheJulymeetingoftheCorvallisGuitarSocietywillfeaturerecordingartistJamesEdwards.Jamesplaysarichandvariedrepertoirethatblendshisclassicalbackgroundwithfolkandjazzinfluences.Theeventisfree,butdonationsareaccepted.ThesocietypromotesclassicalandrelatedguitarstylesinthecentralWillametteValleyandisanopportunitytomeetfellowguitarists,aswellaslistentoandplayguitarinasupportiveenvironment.ThesocietyisopentoallagesandabilitiesandmeetsthefirstMondayofeachmonth.Forinfo,visitwww.corvallisguitarsociety.org.

Open auditions – an adult Evening of shel silverstein. MajesticTheatre,125SW2ndSt.7–9p.m.AnAdultEveningofShelSilversteincomprises10darklycomedicsketchesaimedatanadultaudience.Thetheaterislookingtocastadultsaged21to70years,3to8womenand3to8mentoperformmultiplecomedysketches.Severalofthesketchesrequireextensivememorization.Comepreparedtotellacleanjokefromthestage.ScriptswillbeavailablefromtheMajesticBusinessOfficefortwo-daycheckout.Forinfo,call541-758-7827orvisitwww.facebook.com/events/1659778100920616.

Bryson skaar. ImagineCoffee,5460SWPhilomathBlvd.7:30p.m.EveryMonday.Free.Forinfo,visitwww.imaginecoffee.net.

TuEsday, JuLy 7albany Walk with the doc. TheCorvallisClinic,1705WaverlyDr.7:30–8:15a.m.TuesdaysandThursdaysthroughAug.27.

The30-minutewalksareledbyJennyOlsen,M.D.Theyaredesignedtohelppeoplebeactiveandprovideanopportunitytotalkwithhealthcarespecialists.Allfamilymembers,includingpetsonleashes,arewelcome.Forinfo,call541-758-2747orvisitwww.corvallisclinic.com.

Chair yoga. LiveWellStudio,971SpruceAve.4p.m.Bydonation.EveryTuesday.Forinfo,call541-224-6566orvisitwww.livewellstudio.com.

Majestic Theatre aladdin Panto auditions. MajesticTheatre,125SW2ndSt.4:30–9p.m.TheMajesticTheatrewillbepresentingaBritishpantostagingoftheclassicstoryofAladdinthisfall,withperformancesrunningOct.2throughOct.18.Thecastwillincludenineadultleadsand16youngsinger-dancers(ages10to17).Youthensemble:4:30p.m.onMonday,July6andTuesday,July7.Adultleads:7p.m.onMonday,July6andTuesday,July7.Callbackswillbeat7p.m.onWednesday,July8.YouneedonlyattendMondayorTuesday,andcallbacksifrequested.Olderteenswiththeaterexperiencearewelcometoalsoauditionforadultleads.Forinfo,visitwww.facebook.com/events/1588371914765005.

2 step Tuesdays. Riley’sBilliardsBar&Grill,124SWBroadalbinSt.,Albany.7–11p.m.Free.Anightofdown-homefun.Forinfo,call541-926-2838.

Open auditions – an adult Evening of shel silverstein. MajesticTheatre,125SW2ndSt.7–9p.m.AnAdultEveningofShelSilversteincomprises10darklycomedicsketchesaimedatanadultaudience.Thetheaterislookingtocastadultsaged21to70years,3to8womenand3to8mentoperformmultiplecomedysketches.Severalofthesketchesrequireextensivememorization.Comepreparedtotellacleanjokefromthestage.ScriptswillbeavailablefromtheMajesticBusinessOfficefortwo-daycheckout.Forinfo,call541-758-7827orvisitwww.facebook.com/events/1659778100920616.

drink and draw. Cloud&Kelly’sPublicHouse,126SW1stSt.7–8p.m.Free.Comemeetupwithotherartistsandenjoyapintandsomeartisticcamaraderie.Forinfo,visitwww.cloudandkellys.com.

Celtic Jam. ImagineCoffee,5460SWPhilomathBlvd.7:30–9p.m.EveryTuesday.Free.Forinfo,visitwww.imaginecoffee.net.

Business Communication Learning Lab. MajesticTheatre,125SW2ndSt.8–9:30a.m.Tuesdays.Cost:$160foreight-weekcourseor$20persession.Eachsessionofthiseight-weekcoursefocusesonaddressingparticipantcommunication

Camps & Trips Ages 11 - 14

cascadia expeditions

Registration now open for these and more! Visit our website for more info:

EnvironmentalCorvallis Centerwww.corvallisenvironmentalcenter.org

cas

Registration now open for these and more! Visit our website for more info:

Centerwww.corvallisenvironmentalcenter.org

Many camps includeadventure trips!

We have partnered with Cascadia Expeditions to offer backpacking, rafting & rock climbing.

Use mapping & GPSto find trails &explore nature.

Gain a deeperunderstanding ofOregon’s naturalhistory.

Includes survival training, birding, art & rivers.

Includes GeoCaching, bike riding, orienteering & more.

THE MAJESTIC THEATRE • WWW.MAJESTIC.ORG • BOX OFFICE: 541-738-7469

Kiss Me Like You Mean It

A Quirky Romantic Comedy by Chris Chibnall

July 17-25Tickets: $12-15


albany Farmers’ Market. SW EllsworthSt.andSW4thAve.9a.m.–1p.m.RunsthroughNov.21.Featuresfresh,locallygrown,locallyproduceddairy,meat,andfarmgoods.Forinfo,visithttp://locallygrown.org/home.

Corvallis Farmers’ Market. NW JacksonAve.andNW1stSt.9a.m.–1p.m.SaturdaysandWednesdays.RunsthroughNov.25.Featuresfresh,locallygrown,locallyproduceddairy,meat,andfarmgoods.Forinfo,visithttp://locallygrown.org/home.

Fun-with-the-animals Work Party. LighthouseFarmSanctuary,36831RichardsonGapRd.,Scio.Wednesdays:10a.m.–12p.m.;Saturdays:10a.m.–1p.m.Free.Forallagesandabilities.Workpartiesprovidethesanctuary’sabused,abandoned,orneglectedfarmanimalswithcleanwater,bedding,andlivingconditions.NoRSVPrequired;justshowupwearingfarmapparelandboots.Forinfo,[email protected].

albany historic Carousel and Museum. 503W1stAve.10a.m.–4p.m.MondaythroughSaturday.Inthelobby,viewfinishedanimalsandwatchthepaintersworkonanumberofanimalsandotherhand-craftedprojects.Inthecarvingstudio,seeandtouchovertwodozencarvingsinprogress.Forinfo,visitwww.albanycarousel.com.

shared Landscape Exhibit. BentonCountyHistoricalMuseum,1101MainSt.,Philomath.10a.m.–4:30p.m.TuesdaythroughSaturday.Theexhibitfeaturesthreeartists,TomAllen,CaroleeClark,andSueHarrell.TheirpaintingswillbeshownandofferedforsalethroughJune27.Forinfo,call541-929-6230.

something Old, something Blue Exhibit. BentonCountyHistoricalMuseum,1101MainSt.,Philomath.TuesdaythroughSaturday:10a.m.–4:30p.m.RunsthroughOct.24.TheexhibitionshowcasesartifactsfromthecombinedHornerMuseumandBentonCountyHistoricalSocietyartifactcollections,withanemphasisonthecolorblue.Sub-themesincludeblueinnature,art,

fashion,schoolcolors,uniforms,decorativearts,andmore.Themuseumhasalsoborrowedsomethingnew:man-madebluepigmentfromtheOregonStateUniversityDepartmentofChemistry.

read. Create. Celebrate. CorvallisPublicLibrary,645NWMonroeAve.MondaythroughThursday:10a.m.–8p.m.;FridayandSaturday:10a.m.–6p.m.;Sunday:1–5p.m.RunsthroughAug.31.Foreveryeligibleactivityadults18andovercompletethissummer,theycanfilloutanentryformtogetenteredintothelibrary’sendofsummergrandprizepackagegiveaways.Eligibleactivitiesincludereadingorlisteningtoabook,readingtoachild,usingalibraryresourcetocreatesomething,visitingapark.PrizepackagesincludeaKobo,aniPod,dinnerandamovie,artsandcraftsupplies,annualpassestonearbyparks,andmore.Forinfo,visithttp://cbcpubliclibrary.net/summeratyourlibrary.

see. read. Be Moved: art and Poetry by Incarcerated young Women. AlbanyPublicMainLibrary,2450SE14thAve.MondaythroughWednesday:10a.m.–8p.m.;ThursdayandFriday:10a.m.–6p.m.;SaturdayandSunday:1–5p.m.Eighteenyoungwomenexhibitartworkcreatedduringan“art+poetry”programatOakCreek.Duringthisthree-weekprogram,BarryShapiro,aphotographerandgraphicdesigner,andMarilynJohnston,apoet,workedwiththeseyoungwomenincarceratedatOakCreek.Theywrotepoemsandtookphotographsthattheyincorporatedintothephotomontagesondisplayatthelibrary.Forinfo,[email protected].

13th around Oregon annual Exhibition.TheArtsCenter,700SWMadisonAve.TuesdaythroughSaturday:12–5p.m.RunsthroughJuly11.Thisisastate-wideexhibitionthatstrivestoshowartistsandviewersthequalityanddiversityoffineartandcraftproducedinOregon.JohannaG.Seasonwein,seniorcuratorforWesternartattheJordanSchnitzerMuseumofArtinEugene,wasthejurorfortheexhibit.Forinfo,visithttp://theartscenter.net/exhibit/13th-

around-oregon-annual-exhibit.

Greta ashworth: Beautiful Mess. TheArtsCenter,700SWMadisonAve.RunsthroughJuly26.TheArtsCenter’sCorrineWoodmanShowpresentsanunusualexhibitbyPhilomathpainterGretaAshworth.Ashworthisknownforheranimalportrayals,whicharealittle“off,”alittledisturbing.Althoughfullofcolor,herpaletteremainsmuted,withadarktinge.Butabouttwoyearsagoshebegantodabbleinpapermachéandbeforesheknewit,shewasmakinganimals.Thenshewasmakingskulls.Themoodisverysimilartothatofherpaintings:alittledark,alittledisturbing.Formhasalwaysbeenimportantinherwork—CliveBell’sconceptofsignificantformisanideathathasmeaningtoher.Inthiswork,inadditiontoform,pathosandhumormingle,presentingyinandyang.ThisevokesbalanceandbalanceishowAshworthmakessenseoftheimmense,beautifulmess.Forinfo,visitwww.theartscenter.net/exhibit/greta-ashworth-corrine-woodman-gallery.

Teen Movie day: avengers series. Corvallis-BentonCountyPublicLibrary,645NWMonroeAve.Asummermovieseriesforteens,featuringtheAvengerscycle.WeeklyonThursdaysat1p.m.Snacksprovided.Free.Forinfo,visitwww.chcpubliclibrary.net.

The Majestic reader’s Theater. TheMajesticTheatre,115SW2ndAve.3–5p.m.and7–9p.m.Cost:$10($8forstudentsandseniors).LastSundays.Thecompanywillofferaproductioninthe“reader’stheater”style:trainedactors,withscriptsinhand,maketheplaycomealivethroughvocaltalent,facialexpressions,andminimalstaging.Reader’stheaterplaysareafun,accessiblewaytoexperiencecontemporaryworksbyfamousmodernplaywrightsthatmightnototherwisebeperformedhere.Forinfoortickets,visithttps://majesticreaderstheater.wordpress.com.

Corvallis Community drum Circle. 101NW23rdSt.7–8p.m.FirstSaturdays.Allagesandskilllevelswelcome.Instrumentsprovidedorbring

yourown.HostedbyMichelleLovrichoftheDrumCircleConnection.Forinfo,[email protected].

ukulele Cabaret. FirstAlternativeSouthStore,1007SE3rdSt.7–9p.m.FirstFridays.Free.Thisisanopenmicandsing-alongforukuleleplayersofallagesandskilllevels.Songbooksandinstructionareprovided.Bringsnackstoshare.HostedbySuzDoyleandJeanneHolmesoftheWallopSisters.Forinfo,call541-753-8530.

Corvallis Community Choir (CCC) summer Term. UnitarianUniversalistFellowship,2945NWCircleBlvd.SummertermfortheCCCwillbeginonJune30andcontinuethroughSept.1.SummerTermistheperfecttimetoseeifsinginginachoirisafitforyou.RehearsalsareheldonTuesdaysfrom7to9p.m.attheUnitarianUniversalistFellowship.ThedirectorisJamesMoursund.Jamesbringsayouthfulexuberancetohisdirectingaswellasaninspirationalmusicalityandexpertise.CCCisrelaxed,fun,andaccepting.Musicexperience,thoughhelpful,isnotrequired.Forinfo,call541-740-6068.

reiki healing Circle. 8285 NWWynoocheeDr.7:30–9:30p.m.FirstThursdays.Donation:$5to$10.Allstudentsandinterestedpartieswelcome.Forinfo,call541-754-3595.

Concert in the Park. CentralPark,650NWMonroeAve.8p.m.JointheCorvallisCommunityBandforaneveningoffreemusicatthegazebo.EveryTuesdayeveningthroughAug.25,thebandplaysanhour-longconcertinCentralPark.Dressfortheweather,andbringablanketorlowlawnchairtositon.Forinfo,visitwww.c-cband.org.

2015 starker Forest & Georgia Pacific Mill Tour. StarkerForest,7240SWPhilomathBlvd.FreeguidedtoursofbeautifulStarkerForestareavailabletwiceamonth,JunethroughSeptember,inPhilomath.Special,all-daytourshappentwicethisseason.Onthesedays,you’lltourtheGeorgiaPacificMillinthemorning,followedbyaguidedtourofStarkerForestintheafternoon.

Ongoing July Events...

Natalia & Cristoforo’s

Authentic Italian Meats & Cheeses

Wine Classes • Party Trays

351 NW Jackson St. #2 • Corvallis541.752.1114

Alchemist Best Sandwich Shop WinnerAdvocate Selection as a Hidden Foodie Find

concernsessentialtotheirbusinesssuccess.Examplesofcommoncommunicationconcernsinclude:Motivatingemployees;Havingchallengingconversationsbeproductive;Runningefficientmeetings;Deliveringengagingpresentations;Gettingbuy-inonimportantdecisions;Retainingprofessionalrelationshipswhiledeliveringbadnews;etc.Thiscourseisdesignedtoprovidesmallandmid-sizedvalleybusinesseswithcommunicationskillsandgroupcoachingthatmightotherwisebecost-prohibitive.Participantsareaskedtoselectaspecificissuetheywouldliketoresolve.For

info,visitwww.facebook.com/majestictheatre.

WEdnEsday, JuLy 8Corvallis Walk with the doc. BaldHillPath,OakCreekDr.entrance.7:30–8:15a.m.WednesdaysthroughAug.26.The45-minutewalksareledbyAmyCard,M.D.,MichelleCurtis,M.D.,AmeyLee,M.D.,CarolMorcos,M.D.,andEmilyRangel,M.D.,oftheCorvallisClinic’sOB/GYNDepartment.Theyaredesignedtohelppeoplebeactiveandprovideanopportunitytotalkwithhealthcare

specialists.Allfamilymembers,includingpetsonleashes,arewelcome.Forinfo,call541-758-2747orvisitwww.corvallisclinic.com.

yoga in the Gallery. TheArtsCenter,700SWMadisonAve.10a.m.Exploretheworldofyogaandenjoyasenseofcommunityinthesettingofthemaingallery.Thehour-longsessionwillbeledbycertifiedyogainstructorMarcyKeuter.Beginnersarewelcome.Bringayogamat,ifpossible.Proceedsbenefityouthartseducationprograms.Forinfo,visithttp://theartscenter.net.

Matt neely Jazz showcase. ImagineCoffee,5460SWPhilomathBlvd.7:30p.m.Mattstartedhismusiccareerasavocalistinchildren’schoirsandthenlaterintheNavyBluejacketchoir.Atage32,hepickeduptheguitarandfellinlove.Hehasbeenplayingiteversince.Forinfo,visitwww.imaginecoffee.net.

Jenn Grinels Concert. TroubadourMusicCenter,521SW2ndSt.8p.m.Cost:$14forCFSmembers,$16fornon-members.Add$2atthedoor.Nashvillebasedsinger/

songwriterJennGrinelsmakesherfirstCorvallisappearance.JoiningherwillbeCorvallisnativeBirchPereiraonuprightbass.OriginallyplayingcellointheCorvallisYouthSymphony,hewentontomajorinjazzstudies,bassperformanceatUWandplaysprofessionallywithmanygroupsinSeattle.Thisyear,Grinelsrecentlycompleteda20-concerttourofEuropethattookhertosevencountriesandwasentirelyfan-organized.Grinelscaptivatesaudienceseverywherewithherpowerful,supremelypolishedvocals.Forinfo,visitwww.corvallisfolklore.org.

starfleet Featuring nappyT. BombsAwayCafé,2527NWMonroeAve.9p.m.Free.JointheStarfleetforarager.PerformersincludePuma,Disciple,KiddFresh,KeepFalling,Selfmed(Cyborg),andNappyTHC.Forinfo,visitwww.bombsawaycafe.com.

Thursday, JuLy 9albany Walk with the doc. TheCorvallisClinic,1705WaverlyDr.7:30–8:15a.m.TuesdaysandThursdaysthroughAug.27.The30-minutewalksareledbyJennyOlsen,M.D.Theyaredesignedtohelppeoplebeactiveandprovideanopportunitytotalkwithhealthcarespecialists.Allfamilymembers,includingpetsonleashes,arewelcome.Forinfo,call541-758-2747orvisitwww.corvallisclinic.com.

EdM Thursdays. Riley’sBilliardsBar&Grill,124SWBroadalbinSt.,Albany.9p.m.Nocover.Forages21andolder.FeaturesDJEps.Forinfo,call541-926-2838orvisitwww.facebook.com/pages/Rileys-Billiards-Bar-Grill/420896604690340.

Walking with Poles for Mobility and Fitness. FitnessOverFifty,6735SWCountryClubDr.2:30–4p.m.Cost:$40ifregisteredbyJuly2,$45afterJuly2.Designedforpeopleexperiencingbalanceorwalkingchallenges,perhapsafterillnessorinjury,aswellasthosewhowanttoexperiencethebenefitsofwalkingwithpoles.Classsizeislimited.Bringpolesifyouhavethem;polesavailableforthosewithout.Forinfo,[email protected].

2015 Philomath Frolic & rodeo. PhilomathRodeoGrounds,502S13thSt.,Philomath.4–10p.m.ThePhilomathFrolic&RodeoisheldduringthesecondfullweekendofJulywiththreeNorthwestProfessionalRodeoAssociation-sanctionedrodeos,theGrandParade,classiccarshow,craftsbooths,foodbooths,DrillTeamperformances,FridayandSaturdaydancingwithlivemusicbySlicker,carnivalrides,andmore.Forinfo,visitwww.philomathrodeo.org.

now Brothers. CalapooiaBrewing,140NWHillSt.,Albany.8p.m.Forinfo,visitwww.calapooiabrewing.com.

Curtis Monette.BombsAwayCafé,2527NWMonroeAve.8:30p.m.Nocover.Forover10years,thislocalguitarlegendhasbeenlooping,singing,andshreddingwithfriendsfromaudiophiliaatBombsAwayCafe.Forinfo,visitwww.bombsawaycafe.com.

5460 SW Philomath Blvd — www.imaginecoffee.net Just West of 53rd, Between Corvallis & Philomath

7/3 Jobe Woosly, 7:30pm

7/8 Matt Neely’s Jazz Showcase, 7:30pm

7/10 Jenny Thomas, 7:30pm

Every Monday: Bryson Skaar, piano, 7pm

Every Tuesday: Celtic Jam, 7pm

Third Sunday: Ralph Penunuri, folk singer, 10am

Most Saturdays: James Warren, Story Time, 10 am

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Advocate picks...

Thursday, July 2FrEE ranGE OPEn MIC nIGhT

Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free

FreeGrangeOpenMicNightissuretobeagreattime.Imean,onceyougetpastthefactthatgrangeswerebasicallyfrontierbathhouseswherecowboyscouldhavesexwitheachotherinajudgment-freeatmosphere,theyreallyaregreatplacestohaveshows.What’sthat?OpenRange,yousay?Thatmakesalotmoresense.IguessinsteadofmylubeandcowboyhatI’lljustbringmyopen-mindednesstowardnewmusicalexperiences…andmycowboyhat.

InFInITE IMPrOV

Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 9 p.m. Free

Improvcomedycanbegreat,soI’mallinforthisevent.WillIwantittogoonwithoutendinsomesortof“infinite”improvisationalloop?Ofcoursenot.FortunatelyI’vebeenassuredbybothstaffandformeraudiencemembersthattheshowdoesindeedhaveafiniteending.Sodon’tworryaboutthat.Juststartthinkingofwhatwordsyou’llthrowoutwhentheyaskforaudienceparticipation.Whentheyaskfortwonounsandaverb,don’tsay,“Poop,dook,andpooping.”I’vetriedbefore,anditjustdoesn’tmakeforgoodcomedy.

Friday, July 3 raInBOW In ThE CLOuds

Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10:30 p.m. undisclosed coverRainbowintheCloudsisprettymuchalwaysthemostbumpingdancepartyintown,butsomethingtellsmeinlightofrecentSupremeCourtdecisions,thepartymaybeevenmoreraucousandexcellentthisweek.That’sright,partypeople,theSupremesjustupheldstates’rightstoexecuteinmatesviathecommonlyusedthree-chemicallethalinjectioncocktail.IexpecttheDJstospinsomeappropriatelyjoyousmusicasweallcelebrate.What’sthatyousay?Gaymarriage?Areyousure?Ihaven’tseenanythingaboutitonFacebook…

FarM sTand sTrInG Band

Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5FarmStandisaterrificlittleoutfitthatplaysfunmusicanyonecanenjoy.IsitAmericana?Sure.DoInormallyriponthatendlessly?Ofcourse.Butisn’tbeingreallyniceaboutitsortofstealthilysinister?It’sliketheopeningofInglouriousBasterdswhenChristopheWalziscreepilypolite.Only,youknow,I’mnotaNazi.Anyway,thisisareallywell-scheduledshowinthesensethatyoucancatchitandthenmoseyonovertoCloud’sforRainbowfashionablylateatabout11.We’llmakeanightofit!Only,again,youknow,withfewerNazis.

saturday, July 4MId-VaLLEy BELLy danCE COLLECTIVE

Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Suggested donation: $5

OK,clearlyyoucangoseefireworks…ifyou’reanunoriginaldouche.Ifyou’relookingforsomethingatouchracierandlessboring,though,there’ssomethingaboutseeingtheexposedmidriffsofabunchofenthusiasticdancersthatjustmixesreallywellwiththesmellofpastramiandstadiummustard.Idon’tknowifit’stheBellyDanceCollective’smaingoalinputtingontheseshowsinadeli,butitisaniceunintendedconsequence.AmongthelesspleasantunintendedconsequencesisthatInowgetanerectionwhenIsmellryebread…

COrVaLLIs KnIGhTs Vs. VICTOrIa harBOrCaTs

Goss Stadium, 430 SW Langton Pl. 6:40 p.m. $6

Nowifyouneedfireworks,Ibettheseguysgot‘em.I’malsoprettysure“VictoriaHarborcat”isthenameofoneofthesuper-oldladiesonDowntonAbbey.I’mnotsurewhichcamefirst,thestuffyandboringTVshoworthebunchofloserswhoaregoingtogettheirHarborcata*seshandedtothembytheKnights.ButonethingIamsureaboutisthatyoucangetwayfartherstreakingataKnightsgamethanataBeaversgame.Thesecurityishellalaxduringthesummer.Youcouldgopopabuck-nakedsquatnexttothethirdbaseumpireandhe’dprobablyjustaskyoutostepbackafewfeetsoyoudon’tgetastraycleatinthegenitals.Ournationalpastime…

sunday, July 5BLuEs JaM!

Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free

IfyouneedamellowbutstillsomewhatboozywaytocomedownfromalltheinsaneandexcitingstaringupattheskyyoudidonJuly4,thisisanoption.Ofcourse,youcanalsojustcheckyourselfintoarehabclinicandtacklethatwholeboozeandfireworksproblemyouhave.Imean,thatwouldbethematurethingtodo.I’mgonnagotoBluesJam,though.AndI’mgoingtoshoutoutrequeststhatarejustoffensive-soundingsongnamesImadeup.I’marealtreat.

FIrsT sunday VOCaL JaM

Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 2 to 4 p.m. Free

I’llbehonest,Idon’thaveacluewhatthisvocaljamentails.Arepeoplesingingtogether?Aresomeofthepeoplesupposedtosimulatethenoisesofinstruments?Oristhisanacappellathing?IsitrelatedtotheBible?Isitrelatedtodelimeat?Theanswerstotheseandprobablyafewother,morecoherent,questionsareavailableatthisfreeandfriendlymonthlyget-together.

submit: do you know of an upcoming event?Email us and we’ll add it to the web calendar [email protected]

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Monday, July 6BrysOn sKaar

Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free

B-Skizzlebemashingthekeysatthe‘GineeveryMonday,andit’sobviouswhytheykeepbringinghimback.LastweekIwastherebeforehesetuphisgear—theplacewasaghosttown.Iliterallysawatumbleweedblowbyandacorruptsheriffmeasuringthelooponahangman’snoose.Withinfiveminutesofhimsittingdowntoplay,theplacewaspackedtighterthanyouraverage‘gine.Don’tmissoutonCorvallis’mostreliableweeklygig.

AlAddin OPEn audITIOns

Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. youth: 4:30 p.m.; Adults: 7 p.m.

ThismusicalproductionofAladdinpromisestobeoneofthemoreexcitingfallmusicalconceptstocomeoutoftheMajesticinafewyears.TheplayisbeingdoneinBritish“panto”style,whichhingesonaudienceparticipationamongotherquirks.SoifIunderstandthiscorrectly,I’minvitedtobuyaticket,watchtheshow,andtheninthemiddleofthesecondactI’mtowalkuponthestage,interrupttheshow,andgivetheleadssomepointersonhowtosing.CanIsingwell,youask?No,ofcoursenot.Butthisisaudienceparticipation.Preparetoenjoymyrudeness.Bearinmind,thisisforauditionsonly,soshowupifyouhopetobeinthemusicalitself,orifyouwanttolaughwhenpeopleauditiontomakethemfeelbad.Eitherway,let’sgrababeerandasliceafterwards.

Tuesday, July 7COMMunITy MOVIE nIGhT

Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

Letmeblowyourmindsrealquick:it’sbeenafullyearsinceYgalstartedshowingfreeclassicmovieseveryweekattheDarkside.Andsomeofyoustillhaven’tbeentheretocheckitout.Forshame.Fortheone-yearanniversaryonJuly7,he’sgotKingVidor’sclassicadventure,BirdofParadise(1932),andasaspecialtreat,beforethefeaturehe’llbepresentingCharlieChaplin’ssilentshortfilmEasyStreet(1916),withBrysonSkaarandotherlocaljazzgreatsplayingthescorelive inthetheater!Andofcourse,it’sstillallforfree.BrysonSkaarandCMNYKteamingup?It’scalled8DaysSynergy.You’rewelcome.

COnCErT In ThE ParK

Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free

Look,afreeconcertintheparkfromtheawesomeCorvallisCommunityBandisastealofadealanydayoftheweek.WhyithastobeonaTuesdayandcompetewithfreemoviesinanair-conditionedtheaterisjustoneofthosemysteriousphilosophicalquandariesoflife,likewhydobadthingshappentogoodpeople?OrwhyisTheBigBangTheorystillonTV?Idon’tknowtheanswer,butifyou’relookingforniceoutdoorchillingwithafabulousband,youcoulddoalotworsethanthisweeklypicnicparty.

Wednesday, July 8JEnn GrInELs

Troubadour Music Center, 521 SW 2nd St. Adults: $16; CFS members: $14

CorvallisFolkSocietyisdoingyouasolidonceagainbybringinganobscure,talentedindiemusiciantotowntosoftlyandsweetlystrumyouintosubmission.Thistimeit’sJennGrinels,andshe’sjustbackfromasuccessfulEuropeantour.ClearlyEuropeansknowalotmoreaboutstuffthanus,otherwisewhywouldtheyloveJerryLewis,soccer,andsocialismsomuch?IhaveafeelingJennisoneofthosesubjectswheretheirheadsaren’tcompletelyuptheirowna*ses.Missthisshowatyourownrisk…(hesaidominouslytohimselfbeforeslippingintoacoughingfitandexclaimingheneedstoquitsmoking).

WEdnEsday aCOusTIC LIVE

Les Caves, 308 SW 3rd St. 8 p.m. Free

Who’splayingthisweek?Whoknows?Publicizingeventsisreallynotbusinessesinthistown’sforte.WhatIcantellyouisthattherewillbefreelivemusicatmyfavoriterestaurantintownthisWednesday.Well,freeisaloadedterm,Iguess.Youdohavetobuysomethingtobeallowedtositinthere,asIlearnedrecentlywhenIjustdroppedintheotherdaywiththesevendogsIwalkforextramoney.Theywerealllike,“Noanimalsintherestaurant!”“Pleasegetoutimmediately!”“DearGodwhyareyounakedwhilethedogsareallwearingoutfits?!?”Inadditiontootheroverreactions…

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Thursday, July 9 PhILOMaTh FrOLIC

Rodeo Fairground, 502 S 13th St., Philomath. 4 to 10 p.m. Free

It’sbecomingayearlytraditionthatIpointoutwhatamissedopportunityitwasthattheychosetonamethethingFrolicinsteadofPhrolic.ButtheyalsodeclinedtohiremeastheirPRrep,soIcan’texactlypretendtonotbealittlebitter.ButtheFrolicisbasicallythebestthingtohappenanywherenearthistownallyearlong,sodon’tbeanidiotandmissit.Also,Ilivereallyclose—likereally,reallyclose,tothefairground,soifyouhatethiscolumnandhavebeenitchingtoletmeknow,juststarteggingthehousesaroundtherodeoandyou’relikelytohitmineatsomepoint.

nOW BrOThErs

Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

Calapooiabringsanotherterrificlittlefreemusiceventtoyouwithinastone’sthrowofabunchofbooze.Yes,please.Ihavetoadmit,atfirstIwasgoingtomockthebandnamehereasuninspired,butthenIthoughtofitcomingoutofthemouthofmydadtomeandmybrother.“Nowbrothers…”he’dsay,beforedrivingusouttothemiddleoftheforestandleavingustherewithnosupplies.Ithinkitwastoteachusalessonaboutsomething…Ican’trememberwhatnow,though…CouldithavebeenJesus?


Good NEws ABouT TALENTEd pEopLE Hap & Leonard is ramping up production in Louisiana and is looking like one of the shows to watch for 2016. Based on the series of novels by Joe R. Lansdale, it follows the dark and darkly comic adventures of best pals and martial arts experts. The titular characters are to be played by Michael K. Williams (The Wire, Boardwalk Empire) and James Purefoy (Rome, Solomon Kane, The Following).

The show was announced with almost no fanfare eight months ago. Then six weeks ago the stars were announced, and now it’s filming in Baton Rouge with more cast members popping up, and the creators stepping out from the shadows.

Behind the peculiar-sounding project is the filmmaking team of Jim Mickle and Nick Damici, who made Cold in July and We Are Who We Are, two of my favorite films of the last couple years. July was also based on a story by Landsdale, who is most well-known as the writer of the literary basis for Bubba Ho-Tep, a minor horror comedy classic starring the great Bruce Campbell.

The stories sound interesting, mysterious, and best of all, different than what we’re used to seeing.

Good NEws ABouT uN-TALENTEd pEopLE Donald Trump, possibly the most disliked candidate in the history of politics, killer of the USFL, and many other horrible titles, seems to have finally stepped too far. And the crowd of people lining up to kick him is nothing short of inspiring.

Two weeks ago, in his campaign

announcement (for president of the United States, just thought I should add that, he’s not running for a corporate board seat or something), Trump said the following: “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people who have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists, and some, I assume, are good people.”

After what I can only assume was a worldwide moment of jaws hitting the floor, repercussions started happening pretty swiftly.

First Univision, by far the largest foreign language TV network in the U.S., dropped the Trump-owned Miss Universe brand as a way to hit him back for the preposterous comments.

Now NBC Universal is dropping their entire relationship with him, which of course includes his very popular Celebrity Apprentice, though of course they pointedly implied they

were dropping him but probably keeping the show without him.

It’s not that there isn’t some truth buried in Trump’s uncouthness somewhere. The country certainly has an immigration “problem,” by which I mean, debate to be had, on its hands. And there’s nothing necessarily racist at all about having an opinion on that.

John Nolte of the conservative site Breitbart even felt compelled to point out, in a piece defending Trump, “First off, plenty of Mexican illegals have been accused and found guilty of rape.”

Of course nobody is denying that; the problem with Trump’s derogatory rhetoric is that he insinuates there are definitely many criminals, but no evidence of good, honest people trying to make a living. He’s just being a big-hearted guy in going out on a limb and assuming some of them are.

Fans of seeing a cartoonish villain like Trump being served by the forces of good, or at least political correctness, which for a change of pace is not being over-reactive and thin-skinned, should be pretty cheered by these developments. Will they put Trump out of business? Of course not. But they’ve got to be costing him street cred and actual revenue.

Most of all, he doesn’t belong in polite society and his continued presence constantly on our TV screens is now at least somewhat in question. Though for the next month it will be all Trump all the time…

Wait a second… Is he playing us?

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EntErtainmEntalOn the Edging Cut

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Our Films Suck Less.Every Night.

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LOVE AND MERCY —PG-13 As unconventional and unwieldy as the life and legacy it honors, Love & Mercy should prove

moving for Brian Wilson fans while still satisfying neophytes. Paul Dano, John Cusack, Paul Giamatti

SUNSHINE SUPERMAN —PG Long before there were GoPros, there was Boenish, with a camera mounted on his helmet,

(base) jumping from Yosemite’s El Capitan or L.A. skyscrapers under construction. Engrossing, tension-filled and utterly fascinating.

SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL —PG The audience for whom this sequel is targeted will enjoy the predictability of a well-

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Things, They HappenHard trutHs

bySidneyReilly

mArrIAGE EquALITy AChIEvEd Now let the madness begin.

Last week, in a monumental decision that will likely rank up there with Roe vs. Wade among the titans of decisions people retroactively blame for the fall of Western civilization, the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional for any state to not recognize an otherwise lawful union between two people of the same sex.

I’m mostly pleased about the whole thing, because I don’t see a single thing wrong with a same-sex couple. And if they want to be married, I think they should go right ahead. That said, I haven’t got a clue why we still let the feds have a say about marriage at all, and this case will simply ensure we continue to let that happen for a long time to come. But to be perfectly clear, I think homosexual couples should have all of the same rights as heterosexual couples, including the right to a life of misery and indentured servitude.

But obviously not everyone was going to be so laissez-faire about the debate. Opponents, ranging from the frothy-mouthed and bigoted to the reasonable but disagreeing, are all throwing in their two cents and prescribing proscribing as an answer.

Governor Mike Huckabee went a step farther and is advocating civil disobedience. Which raises the question of how one civilly disobeys another person’s right. Nobody is requiring Huckabee, a private citizen, to do a single thing. Not even “accept” gay marriage. Huckabee and his ilk can feel absolutely free to continue not approving. But rest assured they won’t, and they’re going to continue shrieking about this issue until not even my pith can make it seem interesting in summary.

And in case that’s not obnoxious enough for you, if I see another one of my Facebook friends letting the world know they were “on the right side of history” via emotional status updates, I’m afraid I’m going to self-harm. It’s like a humblebrag, but more insulting because it’s actually a serious topic that matters.

Stop patting yourselves on the back for being so tolerant. It’s not a good look, and it doesn’t come off half as sincere as you think it does by the time you’re posting your seventh status update about how beautiful Justice Kennedy’s majority opinion in the case was.

How about we make a grand compromise: If

Huckabee can stop crying about gay marriage every three seconds, I’ll see what I can do to get all of my friends to stop clamoring to show off their gay-friendly bona fides on Facebook.

how hAs ThIs NEvEr hAppENEd BEForE? A jury in Fairfax, Virginia, awarded a guy $500,000 after he sued the anesthesiologist who put him under for a surgery. The surgery must have gone

horribly wrong, you’re probably thinking to yourself. What did they do? Attach a third arm? Damage a second kidney? Remove a first penis?

No, what they did that was worth a half a goddamn million dollars to a jury was make fun of him while he was under.

Seriously.

The procedure came off without a hitch, but the patient had his iPhone recording sound from inside his pocket, and when he listened to it later, he heard the doctors having a grand old time at his expense.

And this is worth $500,000 dollars?

Does everybody not have a job? Are we not all well-aware of what is said about the client when their back is turned, when they’re on hold, when they’re in the bathroom, or yes, even when they’re under anesthesia? It is universal across all fields. Yes, we have to serve you, but no, we don’t have to like you, to quote Kevin Smith.

I already assumed doctors did this when we weren’t looking, and figured everyone else did, too. They’re humans, and they don’t like you nearly as much as they pretend to. If that’s worth $500,000 in this day and age, I don’t know what to say.

The worst part is that they awarded the money under the premise that the cruel jokes constituted slander, even though he would have never known about them if he hadn’t recorded them, and nobody else would either. That’s right, in an ironic twist, the only reason we know what the doctors thought of him is because he brought it to the world’s attention.

Which is also not to say the doctors deserve no disdain. They’re obviously unprofessional and deserve to lose business for such sloppiness, but a half a million dollars? Don’t let anyone ever tell you the truth is easy.

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